WEBVTT - S05E02 | It's Layered | Delve Deeper Into... Sarel 'Coco Sarel' Madziya 0:00:13.680 --> 0:00:15.080 I'm always always, sir. 0:00:16.440 --> 0:00:24.959 Be careful, love those u bo let We'll use your head. 0:00:26.280 --> 0:00:30.160 They will tear you up. Lack a purple talk. 0:00:31.120 --> 0:00:34.080 Oh no, no, no, yeah. 0:00:33.960 --> 0:00:36.960 Yeah yeah yeah, oh no no no. 0:00:39.360 --> 0:00:39.560 Hi. 0:00:39.680 --> 0:00:41.600 I'm Amanda and I'm Rumby. 0:00:42.000 --> 0:00:43.560 Welcome to It's lay It. 0:00:43.880 --> 0:00:46.800 We're in a long distance friendship that started over twenty 0:00:46.880 --> 0:00:48.600 years ago when we were in high school. 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:53.200 We'll be talking about all things life, love, family, anything 0:00:53.280 --> 0:00:55.160 and everything else under the sun. 0:00:55.280 --> 0:00:59.680 Delve deeper with us because in life, you know my layers. 0:01:00.520 --> 0:01:08.640 Oh no, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, Hello everybody, and welcome 0:01:08.880 --> 0:01:13.880 to another episode of It's Layered. And today we have 0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:17.600 a very very special guest. We're really hyped to have 0:01:17.680 --> 0:01:20.399 her on here for any of you. Okay, let me 0:01:20.400 --> 0:01:22.680 do that. Bye, I'm getting getting ahead of myself, getting 0:01:22.680 --> 0:01:28.319 ahead of myself. But we have Sorel Madia. On social media, 0:01:28.480 --> 0:01:32.280 you may know her as co co Sorel, and she 0:01:33.360 --> 0:01:38.280 is a content creator. Content about her hilarious dating antics 0:01:38.319 --> 0:01:41.360 continues to be a viral hit for her cross both 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:46.319 TikTok and Instagram, such as her iconic Love Island UK 0:01:46.440 --> 0:01:48.680 debrief videos. If you haven't seen them, you should check 0:01:48.720 --> 0:01:49.040 them out. 0:01:49.400 --> 0:01:53.440 Even one five Island to you, Brauh. 0:01:54.680 --> 0:01:58.600 It has gone out over three million views. She's a 0:01:58.640 --> 0:02:02.640 trained actor. Okay, give her flowers. Serral is now also 0:02:02.680 --> 0:02:06.440 finding success as a presenter, interviewing and hosting at the 0:02:06.560 --> 0:02:12.160 UK premiere of Wakanda Forever Black Panther, hosting the TikTok 0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:15.440 End of Year twenty twenty two party, and leading a 0:02:15.480 --> 0:02:19.760 panel interviewing the stars of the amazing movie The Woman 0:02:19.880 --> 0:02:21.000 King at the premiere. 0:02:21.800 --> 0:02:25.040 Yeah, we have seen your working many red carpis looking 0:02:25.280 --> 0:02:29.399 amazing by the way, most notably as the BFI That's 0:02:29.440 --> 0:02:33.240 the British Film Institute Film Festival, Disney's Light Year premier 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:36.919 and Sony's Bullet Train. In twenty twenty two, Sorell You 0:02:37.040 --> 0:02:40.600 starred in a one woman play Give This Woman the Flowers, 0:02:40.639 --> 0:02:45.040 called Funeral Flowers by Emma Dennis Edwards, which appeared across 0:02:45.240 --> 0:02:48.600 venues across the UK include the Nottingham Playhouse and the 0:02:48.639 --> 0:02:54.040 Liverpool Everyman. We welcome you to our podcast. We're so excited, Sarah, 0:02:54.200 --> 0:02:55.200 so happy to have you. 0:02:56.120 --> 0:02:58.720 I'm so excited to be here. Oh my goodness. 0:02:58.800 --> 0:03:01.640 Like guys, I'm I just you know, when you talk 0:03:01.720 --> 0:03:04.520 to other like zim women, I'm like, this is what 0:03:04.720 --> 0:03:08.120 it's about. Like when you guys emailed, I can't tell 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:09.040 you how much I screamed. 0:03:09.080 --> 0:03:12.880 Because our industry laps, we need more, we need. 0:03:12.600 --> 0:03:16.640 More creatives from my background, Like you know, it's just 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:19.560 so when when I find them, I'm like, I'm grabbing 0:03:19.600 --> 0:03:20.560 on and I'm not letting guys. 0:03:20.600 --> 0:03:23.760 Sorry, love this whole. 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:27.320 Around, Like yeah, definitely, Well we cracked the mics like 0:03:27.400 --> 0:03:27.720 it was. 0:03:27.800 --> 0:03:28.400 It was great. 0:03:28.480 --> 0:03:32.600 So we're wholeheartedly thankful that you could be here. And 0:03:33.000 --> 0:03:35.680 you know, let's back before we get too hype, let's 0:03:35.680 --> 0:03:39.920 backtrack a little bits, take them back, and could you 0:03:39.960 --> 0:03:42.560 tell us a little bit about how your journey towards 0:03:42.600 --> 0:03:47.040 being a content creator, influencer actress came about. Can you 0:03:47.120 --> 0:03:48.880 tell us you know a little bit about that. 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:51.680 I would say I've always known I was a creative, 0:03:52.000 --> 0:03:56.680 and I grew up in a house where my parents 0:03:56.760 --> 0:04:03.440 didn't quite understand that, and especially during like secondary school, 0:04:03.640 --> 0:04:06.800 I how can I put it? I was really good 0:04:06.880 --> 0:04:09.280 with certain subjects, and then other subjects I just wasn't 0:04:09.280 --> 0:04:10.560 good at. And if I wasn't good at them, I 0:04:10.600 --> 0:04:13.360 wasn't putting the time or the effort in So. I 0:04:13.400 --> 0:04:16.440 remember we were picking our GCSS and I was saying 0:04:16.440 --> 0:04:18.159 to my parents, I really want to do drama. 0:04:18.240 --> 0:04:21.600 And obviously the question is how will you get a. 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:24.359 Job where will you You're not going to be a 0:04:24.400 --> 0:04:25.360 doctor or lawyer. 0:04:27.480 --> 0:04:32.320 I'm telling two parents, one who is like an economic economist. 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:32.200 What is it? 0:04:32.680 --> 0:04:33.400 Economist? 0:04:33.600 --> 0:04:36.760 Economist, and the other one is like a nurse. 0:04:36.960 --> 0:04:43.520 So exactly, my mum and dad were like ah, may no, no, no, 0:04:44.279 --> 0:04:47.640 but they they it took some time to get to 0:04:47.800 --> 0:04:50.480 the point of them like being like, okay, maybe maybe 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:52.600 this is something she's been very serious about. And when 0:04:52.600 --> 0:04:55.240 I put my head to something, I'm very stubborn, like 0:04:55.279 --> 0:04:59.080 I'm not budging. I will perfect that craft to the 0:04:59.080 --> 0:05:02.960 best of my ability. So I did that GCSE A level, 0:05:03.520 --> 0:05:03.960 a level. 0:05:03.960 --> 0:05:05.680 My mom convinced me to do law. I will never 0:05:05.680 --> 0:05:06.919 think of that woman for doing that to me. 0:05:07.960 --> 0:05:11.360 No, girl, no, let me just try one more time. 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:13.920 My mom convinced me to do law. 0:05:14.000 --> 0:05:18.240 I failed that exam so hard, it was painful, like, 0:05:18.520 --> 0:05:21.280 it was very embarrassing, and my dad had to pull 0:05:21.360 --> 0:05:23.400 me down. He was like, listen, maybe this isn't for you. 0:05:23.440 --> 0:05:25.560 Maybe let's speak, let's feel like. 0:05:25.480 --> 0:05:26.159 I told you. 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:28.400 I told you, I don't know what you want me 0:05:28.480 --> 0:05:30.440 to say. 0:05:30.640 --> 0:05:33.279 We've done her this conversation, so I don't know. 0:05:34.320 --> 0:05:34.480 Yes. 0:05:34.760 --> 0:05:37.000 I think that's when they realized like, Okay, let's just 0:05:37.080 --> 0:05:39.159 let her do what she's good at and she enjoys. 0:05:40.160 --> 0:05:41.960 And then I went to UNI and I did like 0:05:42.120 --> 0:05:44.839 media and performance, which is kind of on screen and 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:47.560 off screen training. I went to drama school and I 0:05:47.839 --> 0:05:51.320 focused on theater acting, and then I jumped into the 0:05:51.360 --> 0:05:55.640 industry of an actress, which eighty percent of the time 0:05:55.800 --> 0:05:58.000 you're just auditioning and then twenty percent of the time. 0:05:57.880 --> 0:05:59.520 You actually have work, which is hard. 0:06:00.200 --> 0:06:02.359 The industry doesn't have many girls that look like me, 0:06:03.240 --> 0:06:05.159 and when they do look like you, you're all in 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:07.599 the same audition room for the same roles every single 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:12.880 time exactly, and then you get type casts my body type. 0:06:12.920 --> 0:06:16.000 I'm a very curvacious, zim woman. Like you know, you 0:06:16.040 --> 0:06:18.680 start getting part of the roles that start to affect 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:21.159 you because you're like, I know, I'm more than this, 0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:25.960 but I'm being put into a hole that yeah, you know. So, 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:28.640 I mean, they're all growing pains, and that's what your 0:06:28.640 --> 0:06:29.400 early twenties are for. 0:06:29.560 --> 0:06:30.760 You're learning you're growing. 0:06:31.440 --> 0:06:35.160 And then I decided to move back home because London 0:06:35.320 --> 0:06:36.599 was just not for me. 0:06:36.720 --> 0:06:38.360 And I was like, this is too much. 0:06:38.440 --> 0:06:43.760 My mental health is debilitating. Mama opened the door, let 0:06:43.800 --> 0:06:44.279 me get back. 0:06:46.360 --> 0:06:50.039 So I went back home to open arms. 0:06:50.080 --> 0:06:53.960 My parents are very welcoming and I worked a nine 0:06:54.040 --> 0:06:57.000 to five job and then I helped my parents set. 0:06:56.880 --> 0:06:57.560 Up a business. 0:06:57.640 --> 0:07:00.600 Like I was doing quite a few things that weren't 0:07:00.640 --> 0:07:03.559 creative anyways, pandemic hits. 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:05.680 Well, when pandemic. 0:07:05.279 --> 0:07:08.039 Hits, I had just secured a three month acting job, 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:11.400 which would have been my first job after taking this break. 0:07:12.280 --> 0:07:14.200 I was just really down when the pandemic hit and 0:07:14.200 --> 0:07:14.440 I was. 0:07:14.480 --> 0:07:16.679 Like, oh, like this is the last thing I need, 0:07:16.760 --> 0:07:20.080 Like I've just got back into the groove. And my 0:07:20.120 --> 0:07:22.000 parents were just like everything happens for a reason, like 0:07:22.160 --> 0:07:24.520 don't you know, just chill out, and I was like, okay, cool, 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:28.320 good cool. Anyways, one day, my little sister, who's I mean, 0:07:28.360 --> 0:07:30.920 she's what she was eleven at the time, twelve, she 0:07:31.040 --> 0:07:33.040 has TikTok and she's like, oh, downlo TikTok and we 0:07:33.040 --> 0:07:35.640 can learn dances together. And I'm like, ooh, I'm down 0:07:35.720 --> 0:07:38.520 on being the kids I want to be youthful cool. 0:07:38.880 --> 0:07:48.960 You know, revived my one beat. 0:07:47.840 --> 0:07:50.920 And then we downloaded this app, and before I knew it, 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:53.560 I was like obsessed, and I'm like watching content and 0:07:53.600 --> 0:07:55.080 the more I watch it, the more I'm like, I 0:07:55.240 --> 0:07:57.200 have an opinion on that, and I have an opinion 0:07:57.240 --> 0:07:58.880 on that, and the something I want to say on that. 0:07:58.920 --> 0:08:01.240 Someone actually started off very political. 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:04.240 It was the height of like the twenty twenty protest 0:08:04.600 --> 0:08:08.600 George Floyd's situation, and I just felt like it was 0:08:08.640 --> 0:08:12.040 a great place for me to share my voice without pressure. 0:08:12.360 --> 0:08:14.920 No one who on you followed me. I didn't follow 0:08:14.960 --> 0:08:17.760 anyone but my little sister. It was just I'll put 0:08:17.760 --> 0:08:19.840 it on. If anyone sees it, they see it, if 0:08:19.840 --> 0:08:22.320 they don't say that the word was about to end anyway, 0:08:22.360 --> 0:08:23.080 So what's the worst? 0:08:23.200 --> 0:08:23.600 Yeah? 0:08:23.840 --> 0:08:25.680 What else? Do you know what I mean? Like, there's 0:08:25.720 --> 0:08:28.520 bigger in the world that happening. 0:08:29.320 --> 0:08:35.080 And then content just started to gain views and likes, shares. 0:08:34.800 --> 0:08:39.600 Comments, and I think I still to this day, I'm. 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:43.839 Kind of blown away by how it's all panned out 0:08:43.880 --> 0:08:47.800 in a really short space of time. And I'm ever 0:08:47.880 --> 0:08:50.680 so grateful to God, and like I can't stress that enough, 0:08:50.840 --> 0:08:54.920 Like I don't take any milestone big or small for granted. 0:08:55.600 --> 0:08:59.080 But yeah, that's how content started happening. And then from content, I'm. 0:08:59.000 --> 0:09:03.280 Getting presenting gigs, I'm getting Yeah, like it was, it's 0:09:03.360 --> 0:09:06.400 just been one thing after another. But yeah, that's kind 0:09:06.400 --> 0:09:08.000 of the journey. It's been a long one, but that's 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:09.240 that's been the creative journey. 0:09:09.240 --> 0:09:11.400 But isn't that beautiful because you're saying it all just 0:09:11.480 --> 0:09:14.480 kind of happened so fast, but like all that time 0:09:14.600 --> 0:09:20.280 before groundwork and the preparation for you because I think Amanda, 0:09:20.320 --> 0:09:23.040 you and I have spoken about this before, how an 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:26.600 opportunity can come and you know someone and it came 0:09:26.880 --> 0:09:29.600 and they had their fifteen minutes of fame and then 0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:31.520 they didn't have anything to fall back on or there 0:09:31.559 --> 0:09:35.640 was nothing there to kind of them going the train going. 0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:37.440 It kind of was like, oh, stop starting, you know, 0:09:37.800 --> 0:09:42.120 start stop. Sorry, So that's so so great. I remember 0:09:42.160 --> 0:09:43.720 the first TikTok I think. 0:09:43.679 --> 0:09:45.880 You were actually talking about that. What's the first TikTok 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:48.880 you remember? Yeah, that I distinctly. 0:09:48.400 --> 0:09:51.560 Remember, Soral was when you were talking to the zimbabwe 0:09:51.600 --> 0:09:55.600 and Aunties are commenting on your body. Yes, I remember, 0:09:55.640 --> 0:09:59.600 I was like, can you say that a little louder, please, Yeah, 0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:03.680 you you know some of us, some of us are 0:10:03.760 --> 0:10:10.240 tormented all the time, every comment, every comments, So absolutely. 0:10:10.000 --> 0:10:13.760 Likely ourgorithm must have been working well with that one, 0:10:13.760 --> 0:10:15.600 because I think we all all zoom. 0:10:15.679 --> 0:10:17.040 People were like we fop. 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:21.360 That, and it did like grounds in like Facebook groups 0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:25.920 on WhatsApp. My mom's friends were texting her like you know. 0:10:26.040 --> 0:10:28.920 Your daughter, and I was like, oh, shut out, what 0:10:29.000 --> 0:10:30.160 is she doing these days? 0:10:31.760 --> 0:10:33.600 My mom was like, you're your friendly my friends. I 0:10:33.640 --> 0:10:34.920 was like, if the shoe fits wear, it. 0:10:34.840 --> 0:10:37.920 Mayam like yeah, that's how I gotta say. 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:41.320 You know, yeah, but you know that just speaks to 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:44.600 how relatable you are, because the girls that get it, 0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:48.400 we got it, like we're all like yeah, man, like 0:10:48.720 --> 0:10:51.760 you said it, so it looked like yeah, you spoke 0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:54.240 to us, like that's why we shared it because we 0:10:54.679 --> 0:10:57.000 But you know, I was listening to your podcast and 0:10:57.040 --> 0:11:00.360 you were talking about how the UK especially want to 0:11:00.400 --> 0:11:04.800 be boxed in as one thing, and obviously when you're 0:11:04.800 --> 0:11:08.559 someone like you was a multi hyphenate with acting, presenting, 0:11:08.679 --> 0:11:12.920 content creation, comedian, what do you think for you is 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:16.040 like how you describe yourself? First, if someone says sol 0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:16.880 Sarral is. 0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:24.280 Oh, child God, like, why are you getting deep this quickly? 0:11:25.200 --> 0:11:28.080 We're duping deeper surround? No, we have to go there. 0:11:28.520 --> 0:11:32.040 Okay, what would I say I am? 0:11:32.520 --> 0:11:33.760 I would say I'm an actress. 0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:36.720 That's the first one I would say, just because that 0:11:36.920 --> 0:11:40.960 has been my dream since I was like ten years 0:11:40.960 --> 0:11:47.640 old and until I see myself otherwise, I'll always see 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:51.400 myself as an actress first. All this other stuff, don't 0:11:51.400 --> 0:11:54.520 get me wrong. I love it and I enjoy doing it. 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:56.920 But I put the work in. You know they say, 0:11:57.040 --> 0:11:58.240 like take ten thousand. 0:11:57.960 --> 0:12:01.719 Hours to be yeah, good, Like I know, I put 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:03.000 the work in. Why was the thing? 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:04.920 Can look at content and be like, you know, it 0:12:05.000 --> 0:12:06.920 was just a viral moment, But with my acting, I 0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:10.960 know like yeah there was blood, sweat, tears that went 0:12:11.000 --> 0:12:14.800 into that. So yeah, an actress is what I would say. 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:17.560 And I think that's why you have like you keep 0:12:17.600 --> 0:12:20.720 going like you're saying, things keep happening and happening because 0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:23.880 you know, you have a craft that you've owned. It 0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:26.400 seems easy when we see it, we're just like but 0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:30.840 it's like, yeah, it's you know, it is a craft. 0:12:30.920 --> 0:12:33.200 And how would you say? I think you spoke about 0:12:33.240 --> 0:12:38.400 your parents and their reaction to your chosen field or path, 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:42.640 but other friends of family, how has that reaction been 0:12:42.960 --> 0:12:48.040 around Soraul pursuing this kind of what do you mean industry? 0:12:48.080 --> 0:12:49.280 What does the content create? 0:12:49.679 --> 0:12:49.760 Like? 0:12:49.800 --> 0:12:50.839 How do you want to find that. 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:51.720 To some of these people? 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:52.520 Do you know what I mean? 0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:52.720 So? 0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:55.800 How have they perceived that, especially within you know, the 0:12:55.920 --> 0:12:59.880 Zim circles and being heritage. What's that been like? 0:13:00.679 --> 0:13:06.280 You know, honestly, I think overall very supportive. Okay, and 0:13:06.400 --> 0:13:08.320 they don't know what I'm doing. Let's just be honest. 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:10.760 There's put out there. They have no idea what my 0:13:10.800 --> 0:13:11.920 job description is. They don't. 0:13:12.040 --> 0:13:23.120 They don't, and I'm like, okay, yeah, that's. 0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:23.880 One way to describe it. 0:13:24.000 --> 0:13:27.640 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah in my bedroom. 0:13:28.679 --> 0:13:33.079 I do in my room, right, But yeah, I think 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:35.760 they don't fully get it. But I think, you know, 0:13:35.800 --> 0:13:41.320 it's crazy. The marker of success within the Zim family, 0:13:41.480 --> 0:13:45.400 and I can only speak for mine, is usually like money. 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:47.920 Or accolades, right, yes, speak on it. 0:13:48.120 --> 0:13:51.320 Yeah, if you're making money or if you're getting the awards, 0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:54.760 then you are successful. Or if people in the community 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:57.240 deem you are successful, then you are successful. And I 0:13:57.280 --> 0:14:00.520 think I had to like reshape a lot of my 0:14:00.800 --> 0:14:04.360 aunties and uncle's views on success and allow them to 0:14:04.400 --> 0:14:07.800 see that I've set personal goals for myself and just 0:14:07.840 --> 0:14:10.720 because you may not deem them as successful, to me, 0:14:12.040 --> 0:14:16.400 that is a marker of success for me. And you know, 0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:20.600 it's it's it's a constant journey. Luckily, there's quite a 0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:24.080 few creatives in my family, so we're all hitting from 0:14:24.120 --> 0:14:27.160 different angles. Some are singer summer rappers, some are content creators, 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:30.120 some are you know, we're all from different angles and 0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:34.040 this kind of younger generation. But I would say overall 0:14:34.080 --> 0:14:37.560 it has been it has been positive. And I think 0:14:37.680 --> 0:14:39.480 the day when my mom realized I wasn't going to 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:48.200 be asking her for reend, my mom was like, ah ya, 0:14:50.120 --> 0:14:50.960 as long as you're happy. 0:14:51.000 --> 0:14:51.920 As long as you're happy. Mother. 0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:57.960 She speaks on her journey with her parents, like how 0:14:58.320 --> 0:14:59.840 her parents are like you have to be a jes 0:15:00.400 --> 0:15:04.040 and just like until they saw the fruits and those 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:07.640 being financial physical, you know fruits, They're like, Okay. Now 0:15:07.680 --> 0:15:10.760 they're at the shows, like that's not They'll. 0:15:10.560 --> 0:15:12.840 Be like this is the beginning. Like you're like. 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:17.600 In the room, my mom will be you know, while 0:15:17.640 --> 0:15:18.720 I'm collecting, and I'm. 0:15:18.600 --> 0:15:19.600 Like, day Mama. 0:15:20.080 --> 0:15:24.880 Yeah, I mean you said that you felt like TikTok 0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:29.000 happened by chance. But did you always have a calling 0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:31.480 in your heart to have a huge following? Did you 0:15:31.520 --> 0:15:34.000 always think I've got something to say and people need 0:15:34.040 --> 0:15:36.640 to hear it huge following? 0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:39.120 No, I get scared actually with huge following. 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:44.080 Okay, me and Holley, my manager, we have this thing 0:15:44.160 --> 0:15:47.360 where sometimes I'll put a video on Instagram and I'll 0:15:47.400 --> 0:15:49.160 message it and I'll be like, Okay, it's got quite 0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:49.800 a lot of views. 0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:53.000 I'm logging out. I'll be back in three days because I. 0:15:52.960 --> 0:15:56.280 Just I feel like, I don't know, I can't describe 0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:59.400 the pressure, but it's almost like off of that one video, 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:02.360 maybe you should go watch like seven others then you 0:16:02.360 --> 0:16:04.160 can figure out if you want to follow me, because 0:16:04.200 --> 0:16:06.120 sometimes I'm like, I don't know if it's justified, and 0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:08.480 I don't know if that's problematic within me that I 0:16:08.520 --> 0:16:12.720 feel like like that. I don't know therapy whatever anyways, 0:16:13.520 --> 0:16:16.640 But yeah, I for a huge following. 0:16:16.680 --> 0:16:18.680 No, But I have always felt like. 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:23.560 I can add something to a conversation, and not because 0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:26.640 I think I'm wise, but because I think I asked 0:16:27.120 --> 0:16:31.280 the right questions. I've always been very inquisitive, and I 0:16:31.320 --> 0:16:36.440 think they make the best conversations, the best teaching moments. 0:16:37.240 --> 0:16:40.160 So yeah, I've always felt like I can add something 0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:44.400 to a conversation, but never for like, you know, large scale. 0:16:44.600 --> 0:16:46.440 Yeah, maybe it's quite interesting. 0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:50.760 You spoke about it with on your podcast. We'll go 0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:54.000 into her podcast later, but like you're talking about it 0:16:54.440 --> 0:16:58.520 about how you know, people see you and they think, oh, 0:16:58.560 --> 0:17:01.520 she must be so outgoing and like such a people person, 0:17:01.800 --> 0:17:04.400 and like, you know, you just want to like talk 0:17:04.440 --> 0:17:08.600 to everybody, but how there's this like anxiety that comes 0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:12.439 with social anxiety you were talking about and it was 0:17:12.800 --> 0:17:16.119 very interesting, And I think often as performers, people think 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:19.320 they don't realize you are a performer because you are 0:17:19.359 --> 0:17:22.159 a performer, Like it's part of it, like bringing this 0:17:22.280 --> 0:17:26.200 character out. It doesn't necessarily mean you live that twenty 0:17:26.200 --> 0:17:27.000 four to sevens. 0:17:27.200 --> 0:17:28.480 Yeah you know what I mean? 0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:31.960 Yeah, And I think, especially with platforms like TikTok, where's so. 0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:34.880 Unfiltered, do you know what I mean? 0:17:34.960 --> 0:17:37.280 Like people feel like you really are my sister, you 0:17:37.400 --> 0:17:39.520 really are my so they step up to you. 0:17:39.480 --> 0:17:41.040 Like, oh, do you know what you were saying you're like, 0:17:41.800 --> 0:17:42.600 when did I say that? 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:45.639 I don't remember when I was like I don't know 0:17:45.640 --> 0:17:47.680 if you ever really, but like remember and I even 0:17:47.720 --> 0:17:49.879 with the podcast, so people always like I remember what 0:17:49.920 --> 0:17:53.840 you said then, and you're like, say, I need to 0:17:53.920 --> 0:17:56.680 timestamp that and go listen back, you know, because it's 0:17:56.680 --> 0:17:59.200 like and then you don't want to like not honor 0:17:59.320 --> 0:18:01.160 the moment for the person. But at the same time, 0:18:01.200 --> 0:18:03.800 you're like this makes you anxious because you're like you 0:18:03.960 --> 0:18:07.040 always have to almost always have to be on yes 0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:09.040 to receive that, you know. 0:18:11.160 --> 0:18:14.240 I think as well, with like social anxiety, there's layers. 0:18:14.280 --> 0:18:17.560 So sometimes it's like super high. It's peak, like I'm 0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:20.360 not going to events, I'm staying in my house, like 0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:22.800 like even answering the phone like please please Lise, I'm 0:18:22.800 --> 0:18:23.920 trying to sort myself out, right. 0:18:24.280 --> 0:18:25.880 But then there's other moments where. 0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:29.000 And this is how I know, like especially people who 0:18:29.080 --> 0:18:31.040 follow me, like the OG followers, like the ones who 0:18:31.080 --> 0:18:32.840 really know me, they'll come up to me because I've 0:18:32.840 --> 0:18:34.159 always said, like, if you're going to come up to me, 0:18:34.280 --> 0:18:38.440 please don't do the whole don't freak out, please don't 0:18:38.440 --> 0:18:42.320 do that name. What do you think about that violent girl. 0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:46.720 Like we met last week and we were having coffee. 0:18:46.800 --> 0:18:48.600 Now we're meeting again in Tesco's, you know what I mean. 0:18:48.720 --> 0:18:53.119 Like that's how I think that relationship works best for me. 0:18:54.600 --> 0:18:56.160 And again it's all very new. 0:18:56.320 --> 0:19:00.000 It's under three years, so I'm also navigating that space 0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:02.640 and I'm like, please give me grades, like I promise you. 0:19:03.119 --> 0:19:06.360 It's never it's never the feeling of like I never 0:19:06.400 --> 0:19:06.639 want to. 0:19:06.720 --> 0:19:12.320 Come across as rude because it's never the intention, but awkward, 0:19:12.640 --> 0:19:14.680 you know, so sometimes you know what I mean? 0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:16.639 Yeah, but yeah. 0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:19.080 It's it's it's really weird, and I think most creatives 0:19:19.080 --> 0:19:19.560 are like it. 0:19:19.600 --> 0:19:20.000 I don't know. 0:19:20.119 --> 0:19:23.480 I've found most people I've been around in social settings 0:19:23.640 --> 0:19:27.800 who are creatives have that fear of like, like you're saying, 0:19:27.800 --> 0:19:29.359 you just always have to be on. So if somebody 0:19:29.359 --> 0:19:31.680 comes on a day when you're not on, you feel 0:19:31.680 --> 0:19:34.520 like you're giving them like not the best version of it. 0:19:34.800 --> 0:19:36.719 Yeah, Yeah, it's weird. 0:19:36.920 --> 0:19:39.800 Yeah, I mean even beyond it has to be sash, 0:19:40.359 --> 0:19:46.760 you know, like all so like I'm not. 0:19:46.800 --> 0:19:51.479 Susing today, Yeah, let me be, let me be these people. 0:19:51.600 --> 0:19:56.639 Yeah, but that definitely then breaths the question, how do 0:19:56.680 --> 0:20:00.800 you manage your public persona and your private life. Do 0:20:00.840 --> 0:20:03.840 you feel sometimes the lines can get blurred or you've 0:20:04.080 --> 0:20:07.800 you've been very intentional to separate the two for yourself. 0:20:08.480 --> 0:20:11.800 Yeah, No, I've got hard boundaries. My boundaries is hard, 0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:15.040 thick and fast, and I'll tell you why. 0:20:16.000 --> 0:20:19.159 I In life in general, I've always had boundaries, you know, like, 0:20:19.200 --> 0:20:20.639 for example, when you work in nine to five and 0:20:20.640 --> 0:20:22.440 then people are like, oh, we're like a family here. 0:20:22.680 --> 0:20:26.720 Oh Becky, I you at nine, I can't. And I 0:20:26.760 --> 0:20:30.959 know during those hours outside of them hours, I don't know. 0:20:31.040 --> 0:20:34.640 You may now we're not that comfortable. And I think 0:20:34.680 --> 0:20:37.200 people get really offended or they feel like. 0:20:37.160 --> 0:20:41.160 It's rude their boundaries in But I think it creates 0:20:41.520 --> 0:20:42.320 clarity for me. 0:20:43.040 --> 0:20:45.160 Yes, And when. 0:20:45.000 --> 0:20:47.000 I'm on social media and there's something i want to 0:20:47.040 --> 0:20:49.920 talk about, I know I've processed it, I know I've 0:20:50.280 --> 0:20:53.520 worked through it, or I know that it's something that 0:20:53.560 --> 0:20:55.760 I can get help from. Let's say I need advice 0:20:55.760 --> 0:20:59.280 from it from people who listen to me. That's one thing. 0:20:59.640 --> 0:21:02.720 And then my personal life, they have to be boundary. 0:21:02.760 --> 0:21:06.040 It's got to be stuff that you keep to yourself. Also, 0:21:06.160 --> 0:21:10.320 for example, like my family, they didn't sign up to 0:21:10.359 --> 0:21:14.639