WEBVTT - S05E04 | It's Layered | Delve Deeper Into... “Dating Around The World” with Wadzi Motsi 0:00:13.680 --> 0:00:15.120 I'm always always. 0:00:16.440 --> 0:00:17.560 Be careful. 0:00:17.680 --> 0:00:20.479 Love those U books. 0:00:23.520 --> 0:00:27.720 Let well use your head, they will tear you up. 0:00:28.680 --> 0:00:30.160 Lack a purple talk. 0:00:31.120 --> 0:00:36.760 Oh no no, no, yeah, yeah yeah yeah, oh no 0:00:36.760 --> 0:00:41.600 no no. Hi, I'm Amanda and I'm Rumby. 0:00:42.000 --> 0:00:43.560 Welcome to It's lay It. 0:00:43.880 --> 0:00:46.800 We're in a long distance friendship that started over twenty 0:00:46.880 --> 0:00:48.600 years ago when we were in high school. 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:53.200 We'll be talking about all things life, love, family, anything 0:00:53.280 --> 0:00:55.160 and everything else under the sun. 0:00:55.280 --> 0:00:57.680 Delve deeper with us because in life, you know. 0:00:59.040 --> 0:00:59.680 My layers. 0:01:00.520 --> 0:01:07.440 Oh no, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:01:05.920 --> 0:01:09.920 No no, Hello everybody, and welcome to a brand new 0:01:09.920 --> 0:01:14.080 episode of It's Layered. We're in season five, y'all, Season five, 0:01:14.200 --> 0:01:17.760 can you believe? Yeah, it's crazy to imagine. And we're 0:01:17.880 --> 0:01:21.320 so so excited because today we have a very special 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:26.279 guest in the Heeza. We've got doctor what's a nine 0:01:26.520 --> 0:01:29.160 Montcy Muela. I don't know if I said that right. 0:01:29.240 --> 0:01:31.280 He's just sorry, sorry, sorry. 0:01:31.040 --> 0:01:33.280 To let me just be chopping names now. 0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:34.600 Please correct me. 0:01:34.760 --> 0:01:39.760 She's, as I mentioned, a doctor. She's currently studying general medicine. 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:44.240 She's based out of Austria and Vienna, and she also 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:47.840 has an incredible show called Dating Around the world, which 0:01:47.880 --> 0:01:51.280 is why we brought her on here and I welcome 0:01:51.280 --> 0:01:52.360 to its laired. 0:01:52.960 --> 0:01:55.760 Hey, thank you so much for having me, And don't 0:01:55.760 --> 0:01:57.800 worry about like saying my name wrong. I say it 0:01:57.800 --> 0:02:02.040 wrong all the time, so yeah, no, honestly, because you're 0:02:02.040 --> 0:02:04.400 like here, like the mulla is like pronounced like with 0:02:04.480 --> 0:02:10.360 the mulla or whatever. Anyway, Okay, okay, thank you so 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:11.080 much for having me. 0:02:11.520 --> 0:02:14.280 We're so excited. We go way back with what's and 0:02:14.320 --> 0:02:18.480 I from high school. Actually we're just laughing at how yo, 0:02:18.840 --> 0:02:23.040 how far back that was? We won't many years ago. 0:02:23.480 --> 0:02:27.440 And she's just an incredible person. You'll hear a bit 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:28.079 more about. 0:02:27.840 --> 0:02:28.639 What she's doing. 0:02:28.919 --> 0:02:31.120 So yeah, let's get right into it once. 0:02:31.160 --> 0:02:33.360 We love to have you on and we love your 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:37.560 show obviously, but can you describe the inspiration behind your 0:02:37.600 --> 0:02:39.760 YouTube series Dating around the World. 0:02:41.160 --> 0:02:43.400 Yes, so, thank you so much for loving it and 0:02:43.440 --> 0:02:46.040 for watching it. I would say generally, whatever you do 0:02:46.080 --> 0:02:48.600 in your life, you also have to look based on 0:02:48.639 --> 0:02:51.240 your personality and how you are as a person. And 0:02:51.280 --> 0:02:54.800 I think I was always interested in relationships and love, 0:02:55.440 --> 0:02:58.560 and I feel that I had a very liberal mother 0:02:58.600 --> 0:03:00.560 who sort of like encourage that, you know what, I mean, 0:03:00.600 --> 0:03:02.760 so she wasn't like a name's scans wow whatever. She 0:03:02.960 --> 0:03:07.519 was like, you know, she's interested in finding out different cultures, 0:03:08.000 --> 0:03:13.040 different ways of dating in different countries. And I think 0:03:13.080 --> 0:03:14.760 I did the same thing in my life. So I 0:03:14.800 --> 0:03:18.160 lived in different countries, and in every country I was in, 0:03:18.639 --> 0:03:22.360 I did date a person from that country or maybe 0:03:22.360 --> 0:03:25.400 someone from another country in that country. And it was 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:28.320 very fascinating to find out how much I learned about 0:03:28.480 --> 0:03:32.919 a different culture just through love, through relationships, the love language. 0:03:32.919 --> 0:03:36.280 It was just for me something that is maybe more 0:03:36.320 --> 0:03:39.400 fascinating than it should be, you know, but it was 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:44.680 definitely something that was interesting. And then I think when 0:03:44.680 --> 0:03:46.760 I moved to Austria, and I moved to Austria because 0:03:46.760 --> 0:03:49.600 I met my husband at an airport, so it's very 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:51.280 much sort of like it's. 0:03:51.120 --> 0:03:55.120 On brand exactly. 0:03:55.200 --> 0:03:57.520 I moved Touse, I met my husband at the airport. 0:03:57.720 --> 0:04:01.280 You know, it was a really fun romance story. And 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:05.400 then it was kind of like a shock when I 0:04:05.480 --> 0:04:07.960 moved here. And I think, maybe perhaps we'll get into 0:04:08.000 --> 0:04:11.280 that a bit later, but I was shocked at how 0:04:11.480 --> 0:04:17.039 little people knew in general about Africa or even just 0:04:17.120 --> 0:04:20.200 about I suppose other countries that were not European countries. 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:23.000 So let's say, for example, one day, I was sitting 0:04:23.400 --> 0:04:27.360 with some women. There were actually black women, but they're 0:04:27.360 --> 0:04:29.480 growing up in the UK and they've grown up here 0:04:29.520 --> 0:04:35.039 in Vienna as well, and we were talking about you know, TLC, 0:04:35.080 --> 0:04:37.520 you know, the ninety day Fiance TLC, and they were like, 0:04:37.800 --> 0:04:39.480 oh my god, you know ANGELI and I don't know 0:04:39.480 --> 0:04:41.480 if a Nigerian boyfriend, I don't know what his name is. 0:04:42.120 --> 0:04:44.360 You know, it was basically like they were talking about 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:48.039 how ratchet that whole situation was, and you know, ninety 0:04:48.080 --> 0:04:52.120 day Fiance basically portrays people in the most heeoytypical way possible, 0:04:52.680 --> 0:04:58.719 especially people from developing countries. And I remember that suddenly, 0:04:58.920 --> 0:05:02.640 I don't know when they realized, I suppose that I'm African. 0:05:03.040 --> 0:05:05.960 The conversation just got a little bit weird because they 0:05:05.960 --> 0:05:07.920 looked at me and I was agreeing that, oh my god, 0:05:07.920 --> 0:05:11.200 that's so crazy, and then I think for a second 0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:14.560 they were like, oh my god, she's African as well, 0:05:14.640 --> 0:05:18.480 and it was just sort of like an awkwardness. It 0:05:18.520 --> 0:05:20.880 was like an awkwardness that just came and then it 0:05:20.960 --> 0:05:23.960 just immediately left. But then it made me realize that 0:05:24.040 --> 0:05:27.239 they also had like seroitized probably about me, probably about 0:05:27.240 --> 0:05:32.640 my own relationship with my husband and so. And then 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:36.000 I thought, probably they think like that because they're also 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:38.760 living in their own like sort of like propaganda and 0:05:38.800 --> 0:05:41.360 everything that's going on here. You know, propaganda's like rife 0:05:41.360 --> 0:05:43.599 and it's like really really like a life here in 0:05:43.640 --> 0:05:46.280 Western Europe as well. And so I was like, let 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:49.640 me show them. I'm going to show them that, you know, 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:52.159 the different cultures that we come from, especially within the 0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:56.400 you know, African society, are so much deeper than whatever's 0:05:56.440 --> 0:05:59.920 portrayed out there. And yeah, that's where the inspiration came. 0:06:00.279 --> 0:06:02.440 Just I love traveling. It's fun and also at the 0:06:02.480 --> 0:06:05.200 same time, I just wanted to, you know, just bother 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:05.880 the stereotypes. 0:06:06.480 --> 0:06:09.039 That's great because I think you've already touched on my 0:06:09.160 --> 0:06:12.200 next question, which is how you even came to think 0:06:12.240 --> 0:06:15.920 of incorporating your love for travel and I guess for 0:06:16.040 --> 0:06:19.000 dating and understanding the world of dating. How did you 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:21.359 conceptually decide were you like, Okay, next time I go 0:06:21.400 --> 0:06:23.280 on holiday, I'm just going to do a little bit 0:06:23.320 --> 0:06:26.240 of investigation. Because your show is more than just chatting 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:28.400 to people on the streets. You also talk to different 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:32.240 professionals where the psychologists or you know what I mean. So, 0:06:33.040 --> 0:06:35.560 how did how do you think of like, Okay, I 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:37.200 want to debunk these myths. 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:38.120 How do I do it? 0:06:38.560 --> 0:06:39.279 How did you come to? 0:06:39.400 --> 0:06:43.000 Yeah? Well, first of all, I feel like dating and 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:45.599 traveling are like two of some of the greatest pleasures 0:06:45.640 --> 0:06:47.880 in life in general. So I feel like when you 0:06:48.000 --> 0:06:52.240 combine that, it's just so much fun. And I'm when 0:06:52.279 --> 0:06:54.000 I'm whenever I'm on a holiday, I want to talk 0:06:54.000 --> 0:06:56.840 to people because when you and I know you both 0:06:56.880 --> 0:06:58.760 know this, if you've lived somewhere, or even if you 0:06:58.800 --> 0:07:00.720 have and I don't know, if you're cure is then 0:07:00.760 --> 0:07:03.400 you sort of like understand the culture from different cultures 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:06.479 from a different perspective. And so when you travel somewhere, 0:07:06.480 --> 0:07:08.680 you're only somewhere for like five days or three days, 0:07:08.720 --> 0:07:12.640 it almost feels so superficial. Your impressions almost feel so 0:07:13.280 --> 0:07:17.520 superficial on the surface that I was craving just getting 0:07:17.560 --> 0:07:19.600 to know more about those cultures. So it's like, Okay, 0:07:19.600 --> 0:07:20.960 you know what, I need to go out there and 0:07:21.000 --> 0:07:23.800 ask questions because I'm just I like to be, you know, 0:07:24.200 --> 0:07:26.520 just curious like me. People in the buildiness anyway, but 0:07:27.400 --> 0:07:32.200 not like that. But but I wanted to just yeah, 0:07:32.360 --> 0:07:34.240 not to pry, but I wanted to find out more 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:38.160 but from the people themselves, you know. And so and 0:07:38.160 --> 0:07:40.640 I also thought, like, my opinion is just my opinion, 0:07:41.040 --> 0:07:42.840 and whatever people say on the street is just what 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:44.600 they say on the street. But let's talk to maybe 0:07:44.600 --> 0:07:48.080 different people who like professionals, who actually get to talk 0:07:48.120 --> 0:07:51.000 to these people who understand the different layers they are 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:53.400 in the society in which they're in, so that we 0:07:53.440 --> 0:07:56.480 can actually get like a full picture of what it's like. 0:07:57.320 --> 0:07:59.400 That's why. That's that's really cool. 0:07:59.480 --> 0:08:01.960 Yeah, that's so. It's such a lid thing. And I 0:08:02.000 --> 0:08:05.160 think that's the thing people just think dating ah Romy 0:08:05.160 --> 0:08:07.680 and Juliet or like two people just meet and fall 0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:10.040 in love, And yes, of course that can happen, but 0:08:10.080 --> 0:08:13.080 there's so many things that come into it, like culture, politics, 0:08:13.120 --> 0:08:16.480 economic psychology. As you say on your show, how do 0:08:16.560 --> 0:08:19.360 you personally think all those things? How much of those 0:08:19.400 --> 0:08:22.080 things affect dating, especially in different countries? 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:24.960 Oh my gosh, I feel like we're Zimbabwean, so we 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:27.720 already understand that. Anyway. I feel like we don't even 0:08:27.760 --> 0:08:30.520 have to get into it so much, like it's just 0:08:31.040 --> 0:08:34.560 being Zimbabwean, knowing the political situation which you come from, 0:08:34.720 --> 0:08:37.640 knowing the economic situation which we come from, and then 0:08:38.360 --> 0:08:41.920 putting all the economic pressure as well. I mean, when 0:08:41.920 --> 0:08:43.840 I was in Zimbabwe and I was talking to people, 0:08:44.240 --> 0:08:47.000 what they were just saying is I can't get married 0:08:47.040 --> 0:08:49.760 because I can't afford it, or I can't find someone 0:08:49.800 --> 0:08:51.600 who wants to marry me because there's lobala. Is they 0:08:51.640 --> 0:08:55.480 have possibility? Is it possible? Maybe they just convince the 0:08:55.600 --> 0:08:58.319 parents to not need lobola so I can just get 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:03.400 married married, Yes, exactly. So when you look at that, 0:09:03.520 --> 0:09:07.080 you look at how politics affects economy, which then affects dating. 0:09:07.120 --> 0:09:09.880 You don't even have to get into politics to understand 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:12.840 that the situation in the country is not okay. You 0:09:12.840 --> 0:09:15.840 just have to ask people how your love life and 0:09:16.040 --> 0:09:18.400 you'll find it out. Even in Portugal, they'll be like, oh, well, 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:21.240 you know, it's difficult because that kind of bored life, 0:09:21.320 --> 0:09:23.320 you know, And then you find out, okay, fine, the 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:25.760 economy is not so good. Then you look at the politics, 0:09:26.040 --> 0:09:28.559 and so you can touch on so many different topics 0:09:28.600 --> 0:09:32.160 without necessarily getting so deep into the politics. So someemople 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:34.080 don't want to do that. So many people don't want 0:09:34.080 --> 0:09:36.800 to talk about economics. It's boring for them. But maybe 0:09:36.880 --> 0:09:38.720 you can pay attention to it. If you look at 0:09:38.720 --> 0:09:41.440 it in this way, maybe you can understand it a 0:09:41.480 --> 0:09:44.520 bit better. This is what I was thinking. And you know, 0:09:44.559 --> 0:09:47.120 even if you look at Japan, and if you look 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:49.560 at China, and China they had the one child policy. 0:09:50.360 --> 0:09:53.960 And I remember I had friends who this one child 0:09:53.960 --> 0:09:58.280 policy cause people to be so strict and so obsessive 0:09:58.880 --> 0:10:02.000 with the children that they had. So basically, if he 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:03.559 had a daughter, you'd be like, you know what, my 0:10:03.640 --> 0:10:05.560 daughter's not gonna get married to anybody who doesn't have 0:10:05.760 --> 0:10:08.400 enough money for a house or for an apartment. And 0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:10.480 so I had friends who would fall in love with men, 0:10:10.760 --> 0:10:13.240 but the minute he couldn't afford to buy an apartment 0:10:13.320 --> 0:10:14.559 or a house, they'd be like, yeah, I love him, 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:17.880 but like he doesn't have a car, and he kind 0:10:17.880 --> 0:10:22.840 of and I'm like, okay, this is really deep because 0:10:22.880 --> 0:10:25.439 it's just like that, just like that, you just it's okay, 0:10:25.440 --> 0:10:27.520 you don't really need to have anything to do with him, 0:10:27.520 --> 0:10:29.439 just because he can't afford it. And that was because 0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:32.480 also of the politics that this one child's policy, and 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:35.439 so it really it's all interconnected at the end of 0:10:35.480 --> 0:10:38.000 the day. And even if you gut Sweden, it's a 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:43.679 liberal society, very very very liberal society. And then so 0:10:43.720 --> 0:10:47.000 they have this like hyper feminism going on. And I'm 0:10:47.000 --> 0:10:50.440 a feminist all the way, but Sweden has like is 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:52.920 like a high for a femininist society. So it's like, 0:10:52.920 --> 0:10:54.800 don't open the door for me, what are you trying 0:10:54.800 --> 0:10:59.080 to do? Get angry? Yeah, Like are you saying I 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:02.320 couldn't have opened it for myself? Yeah? 0:11:02.360 --> 0:11:05.800 And also where marriage, marriage is not a big deal anymore, 0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:08.559 Like it's not even a it's not a consideration. I 0:11:08.600 --> 0:11:10.800 think even here in the Czech Republic it's not a 0:11:10.800 --> 0:11:14.280 big getting married don't mean nothing really at the end 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:14.760 of the day. 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:17.640 Yeah, and it even bleeds into it, I mean, coming 0:11:17.640 --> 0:11:20.440 from a parent point of view, parental leave and stuff. 0:11:20.440 --> 0:11:22.720 You find the more liberal like on Sweden will have 0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:26.760 like more parental leave because they believe maternal or paternal 0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:29.640 you should both influence rasas like zoom, they will be 0:11:29.679 --> 0:11:31.200 like maternity what like. 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:36.920 You know, like yeah, exactly imagine op paternity. 0:11:37.520 --> 0:11:39.520 Oh my god, you're leaving your job, you come back 0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:42.120 the job if you'll be replaced my guy exactly. 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:45.679 Yeah, or just like what you do in the household, right, 0:11:45.800 --> 0:11:49.240 like how you operate in the household, what you know 0:11:49.400 --> 0:11:52.120 people have And also in Japan, they're just not having 0:11:52.559 --> 0:11:56.480 sex because of the fact that they don't have time. Oh, 0:11:56.600 --> 0:12:00.200 they don't have time to have sex, and so this 0:12:00.320 --> 0:12:04.679 is why the population has gone down. So people are 0:12:04.720 --> 0:12:07.000 coming home at ten pm, they don't have time to 0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:12.040 have sex. The relationship fractures. Then they open all these different. 0:12:15.000 --> 0:12:22.000 Yeah your boyfriend, yeah, yeah, yeah, or even specific I 0:12:22.000 --> 0:12:24.920 mean it's very very interesting the things that they opened there. 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:28.480 Even their different specific little fetish cafes. You know, it's 0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:31.400 it's very fascinating, Yeah, very fascinating. 0:12:31.800 --> 0:12:34.520 It's a great segue. Is there anything that has, what 0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:38.559 would you say, surprised you the most through the series 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:42.400 and filming and talking to people around the world, because 0:12:42.400 --> 0:12:47.480 you've been to You've been to Tanzania, you've been to Japan, 0:12:47.520 --> 0:12:49.640 as you've said, you've been to Portugal, you've been to Sweden, 0:12:49.679 --> 0:12:52.560 you've been to Malta, you've been to Paris. I don't 0:12:52.559 --> 0:12:55.120 know which other countries I'm missing out, but like you've 0:12:55.160 --> 0:12:59.080 been to a fair number of Ghana Ghana as well. 0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:03.000 What surprise the most during the series or over the 0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:03.800 course of your time. 0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:12.320 I think I was surprised in general personally by myself 0:13:12.360 --> 0:13:15.400 and how I especially when I went to other African countries, 0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:21.120 how it was such a decolonial process for me. Wow. 0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:26.320 So I feel that was probably the biggest shock, because 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:30.559 I didn't know that I was looking at African cultures 0:13:30.600 --> 0:13:34.040 through the European lens as well. I thought I was 0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:39.480 above that, but actually I still was. So I feel 0:13:39.480 --> 0:13:42.199 like that was very shocking for me. And then it 0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:45.079 was a whole process actually on its own. So then 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:47.680 it was like feelings of like shock and then sort 0:13:47.679 --> 0:13:50.280 of like almost anger that I didn't know all this 0:13:50.320 --> 0:13:53.600 stuff about these places, and then all because I was like, 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:59.400 my God, like these cultures like this, the African cultures, 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:00.720 and I don't want to be like over the topic. 0:14:00.760 --> 0:14:04.400 It's beautiful African cultures, but literally actually are so fascinating 0:14:04.480 --> 0:14:07.400 and so amazing, and I'm just shocked how much we 0:14:07.480 --> 0:14:12.000 don't know. And so I think I was surprised about 0:14:12.280 --> 0:14:15.880 how it is an act of revolution generally, if. 0:14:15.679 --> 0:14:16.080 You are. 0:14:17.880 --> 0:14:20.800 A black person and you're going to tell your own 0:14:20.880 --> 0:14:24.880 story or you're actually going to fish stories out from 0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:28.360 the people in those countries in maybe perhaps a more 0:14:28.400 --> 0:14:30.920 authentic way. That that is already an act of revolution, 0:14:31.080 --> 0:14:35.360 because whatever is going on is usually like stereotypes and propaganda, 0:14:35.640 --> 0:14:38.400 and it is really at the moment right now, like 0:14:38.920 --> 0:14:40.920 it's a revolution, and I love it because everybody's doing 0:14:40.920 --> 0:14:42.760 it an act revolution to tell your story. I was 0:14:42.760 --> 0:14:47.000 surprised by how much that impacted me and how everybody 0:14:47.120 --> 0:14:48.640 was just sort of open to it as well. 0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:52.680 Isn't it funny we'll know so much about Western culture 0:14:52.760 --> 0:14:55.320 and not know much about our next door neighbors. 0:14:55.400 --> 0:14:56.520 It's embarrassing, like. 0:14:56.680 --> 0:14:59.760 It's actually quite bad, Like you know, I think so 0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:02.880 being in Australia, there's obviously a lot of big Asian 0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:06.280 community here and sometimes like Westerners would just brush them 0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:09.240 with the same Asians, you know, but within the Asian 0:15:09.280 --> 0:15:12.480 community they all know each other, like the Filipinos like this, 0:15:12.720 --> 0:15:16.400 ah Thai people like this. But like to another level 0:15:16.520 --> 0:15:20.760 that Africans we don't have, like we're very we're almost 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:24.720 very colonial mind very segregated still and it's like I 0:15:24.720 --> 0:15:26.640 won't even know what's happening in Malawi. But when you 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:28.800 look on the map, Malawi is not that far from zoom, 0:15:28.800 --> 0:15:31.200 you know what I mean. But it's like people people 0:15:31.200 --> 0:15:33.640 will be like, what's what happens in Malawi? And then 0:15:33.960 --> 0:15:35.880 some people will get offended. First of all, I'm not 0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:40.000 from Alawi, like you know, and it's like, okay, apart 0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:42.600 from that, do you even know? But you know everything 0:15:42.600 --> 0:15:44.160 about Sweden and Finland? 0:15:44.240 --> 0:15:46.160 Yeah, you look at that map, but. 0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:49.560 You're like I was like, had this conversation with the 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:52.680 colleague of mine American and they were like, oh, how 0:15:52.680 --> 0:15:54.800 come you know so much? You know, you think after 0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:59.080 you colonize you'd learn more about African African cultures in 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:02.920 Babwan culture, like you wouldn't watch so much Western media. 0:16:03.000 --> 0:16:06.640 And then I said, but you need to understand that imperialism, 0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:11.360 neo colonialism, all these things, the traits of what colonizations 0:16:11.360 --> 0:16:15.520 stood for were never erased. Like it's still heavily ingrained, 0:16:15.920 --> 0:16:19.760 and you own media for the large majority. And in 0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:22.160 terms of you think of quality, you were sold as 0:16:22.200 --> 0:16:25.800 the quality. Do you understand? So there's so much even 0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:29.000 though we say we are free, the systems were put 0:16:29.040 --> 0:16:32.120 in place so that it's not easy to just be like, Okay, 0:16:32.120 --> 0:16:35.080 I'm flipping to know everything about you know, my home 0:16:35.200 --> 0:16:38.440 or everything around my home. You know, it's not that simple. 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:41.800 But I guess the challenge is to do better like 0:16:41.800 --> 0:16:43.600 what wass he is doing, or. 0:16:43.560 --> 0:16:44.240 To challenge it. 0:16:44.400 --> 0:16:47.680 Yeah. Yeahs wrong with some of don't. 0:16:48.040 --> 0:16:52.840 Thank you as well? All Yeah, I feel like I 0:16:52.840 --> 0:16:55.280 think at least it's great that like I think everybody's 0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:57.640 sort of just trying to tell their own stories, and 0:16:57.680 --> 0:17:00.880 I think it's so important and to know that, Okay, fine, 0:17:00.920 --> 0:17:02.800 you know, they're like, you know, intensanity speak. You have 0:17:02.800 --> 0:17:04.960 one hundred and twenty six languages. There are hundreds and 0:17:05.119 --> 0:17:09.000 when they six languages, and they're so diverse, and they're 0:17:09.119 --> 0:17:12.960 so like they're just living in like harmony and they're fine. 0:17:13.000 --> 0:17:15.879 And so I felt like that was something to be admired. 0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:18.399 And yet, you know, whenever I see Tanzan, I just 0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:21.520 see the animals. I see people going there, but I 0:17:21.600 --> 0:17:24.119 don't people are not interested in the people. It's almost 0:17:24.119 --> 0:17:26.359 like it's a taboo topic, especially here in Europe, like 0:17:26.400 --> 0:17:30.560 oh okay, oh, okay, all let's talk. Oh Africa. Oh 0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:31.720 it's always like Africa. 0:17:31.840 --> 0:17:36.400 Oh yes, oh, And so I always feel I don't 0:17:36.440 --> 0:17:37.520 feel sorry for me. 0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:41.159 You know where I come from. I'm like, yeah, or. 0:17:41.160 --> 0:17:43.680 I love that animals and I'm like, okay, apart from 0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:45.119 the animals. 0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:46.080 Ruh. 0:17:46.280 --> 0:17:49.640 Obviously, obviously you've traveled lots and you've now interviewed people 0:17:49.680 --> 0:17:53.560 from different walks of life. Wait, any common themes or 0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:56.120 ideas around dating that you've noticed. 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:03.439 Yeah, I guess like there are some common themes. I 0:18:03.480 --> 0:18:06.560 think sex was like a very huge topic, but it's 0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:10.040 not something I touched on so much because it's always 0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:12.640 like when you interview people and then they talk about sex, 0:18:12.640 --> 0:18:16.000 they don't want to be shown on camera, but things 0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:18.719 like that. So I think there were common themes, like 0:18:18.800 --> 0:18:23.639 with economic stress and pressures and how they affect you know, 0:18:23.680 --> 0:18:27.360 people's family life. And also people talk about how finances 0:18:27.400 --> 0:18:30.040 are a huge reason and people get divorced. But then 0:18:30.160 --> 0:18:32.800 when you talk about finances, we have to dig deeper 0:18:32.840 --> 0:18:35.800 into what kind of situation that can create in the home, 0:18:36.160 --> 0:18:39.320 and in a lot of situations, maybe perhaps heres for women, 0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:41.560 they don't want to have sex with their husbands because 0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:43.240 they feel like, oh my god, you know you this 0:18:43.359 --> 0:18:46.280 is stressful. I don't know, But then for men, director 0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:51.400 dysfunction was actually like a huge topic that was already 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:54.800 you know, but it's always like how they're communicated. It was, Yeah, 0:18:54.880 --> 0:18:56.560 then I don't feel like I want to have sex 0:18:56.560 --> 0:18:59.760 because I'm stressed out because of this financial situation. But 0:18:59.840 --> 0:19:03.000 actually how that presents itself as a rectil dysfunction, and 0:19:03.040 --> 0:19:06.480 that was more common than I thought it did actually be. 0:19:06.720 --> 0:19:10.680 So I would say, like the stresses of financial finances 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:13.760 were always everywhere, no matter where you work, those were 0:19:13.760 --> 0:19:18.960 common things. And then sex obviously being like a common thing. 0:19:19.320 --> 0:19:21.399 And then yeah, I would say that was like the 0:19:21.440 --> 0:19:21.920 most common. 0:19:22.359 --> 0:19:25.880 So many ads in Zimpo like let me fix your 0:19:26.560 --> 0:19:30.400 you know, those random like paper in the entire when 0:19:30.400 --> 0:19:32.280 you see them, they just stick it everywhere and have 0:19:32.400 --> 0:19:38.320 a place everywhere, clearly, Yeah, but they don't really deal 0:19:38.359 --> 0:19:41.720 with it in a medical or healthy way. 0:19:41.760 --> 0:19:44.840 But yeah, it makes sense. Yeah, and if you would 0:19:44.880 --> 0:19:47.760 also touch about about women as well, it's always like 0:19:47.760 --> 0:19:50.520 about men and they have a rectil dysfunction. But what 0:19:50.600 --> 0:19:54.280 that does, but the whole cycle is that is the 0:19:54.320 --> 0:19:55.400 whole thing, right, So. 0:19:55.880 --> 0:19:59.400 Oh wow, which country do you think or so far 0:19:59.560 --> 0:20:02.040 have you related to the most when it comes to 0:20:02.119 --> 0:20:05.520 dating as a black Zimbabwean woman and the least or 0:20:05.560 --> 0:20:06.720 the least or both. 0:20:07.840 --> 0:20:11.120 Yeah, So I would say like I related to Tanzania 0:20:11.160 --> 0:20:12.800 the most because I think it's the most similar to 0:20:12.880 --> 0:20:15.760 Zimbabwe because they well, it's the most simar to Zimbabwe 0:20:16.480 --> 0:20:19.880 how Zimbabwe used to be. I feel like Zimbabwe used 0:20:19.880 --> 0:20:21.600 to be a little bit more of a place of 0:20:21.680 --> 0:20:24.280 you know that umun too. You know, we're together, we 0:20:24.359 --> 0:20:26.040 want to be peaceful. And then like because of the 0:20:26.080 --> 0:20:28.800 economic situation, everybody just like is to their own, you know, 0:20:28.920 --> 0:20:30.320 one of my friend. So I'm God for us all 0:20:30.920 --> 0:20:33.760 and so I feel like Tanzania really I related to 0:20:34.320 --> 0:20:38.240 it in a way in was a nostalgia way. It 0:20:38.320 --> 0:20:40.960 was very nice to see how everybody was just sort 0:20:40.960 --> 0:20:43.160 of like okay, you could you can walk on the street. 0:20:43.200 --> 0:20:45.240 You didn't think anybody who's going to do anything to you. 0:20:45.320 --> 0:20:49.320 Never get that feeling, right, And I feel like I 0:20:49.400 --> 0:20:52.439 related to the most how and I also was like 0:20:52.560 --> 0:20:54.119 a little bit like, oh my god, we used to 0:20:54.200 --> 0:20:57.560 be like this and the least. I don't think I 0:20:57.560 --> 0:20:59.919 related to any country like the least in any kind 0:20:59.920 --> 0:21:02.439 of way, because I feel like when you're Zimbabwean, I 0:21:02.440 --> 0:21:05.240 am Zimbabwe one hundred percent. But because I've lived in 0:21:05.280 --> 0:21:06.840