Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex
Speaker 1: and Frooms catch up podcast. It's Flex and Frooms. FLEXI
Speaker 1: do you believe in polyamory? I do cool polyamory when
Speaker 1: you have okay, next topic, more than one partner in
Speaker 1: a romantic way, So there's ethically non monogamous.
Speaker 2: Well not particularly. Polyamory is just this ability to love,
Speaker 2: like share romantic love with multiple people.
Speaker 1: So it doesn't have to be sexual.
Speaker 2: No, it doesn't have to be.
Speaker 1: It's romantic love.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like you have the capacity to love more than
Speaker 2: one person at a time, then polygamy is the capacity
Speaker 2: to have more than one like relationship like multiple wives.
Speaker 1: Yeah are rare, if you will. Sure this is from
Speaker 1: somebody whose partner has wanted to go poly and then
Speaker 1: the realization and the reality of poly life has hit different.
Speaker 1: She says, I've been with my partner for three years
Speaker 1: and I can see myself getting married and having kids
Speaker 1: with him in the future.
Speaker 2: People, that's your first mistake.
Speaker 1: She's destruck. Problem is he's told me that he wants
Speaker 1: to open the relationship up and his Polly, let's open
Speaker 1: this pit. I love him so much, so I said yes.
Speaker 1: But now that he's actually seeing others. I hate it,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I'm a bad person if I
Speaker 1: say I'm no longer cool with it. Will I just
Speaker 1: have to accept him being Polly? Or do I need
Speaker 1: to end it?
Speaker 2: Wa wa we wah wah. What do you reckon?
Speaker 1: Close the pit? Respect, Let's get some seats in this
Speaker 1: serena and get everyone to put their asses on them.
Speaker 1: I reckon like you are fully within your right. You
Speaker 1: come first, regardless of whether it's an open relationship or
Speaker 1: it's Polly. You are the base. And the minute that
Speaker 1: it gets out of your control and that you don't
Speaker 1: feel comfortable, you need to don't maybe say sets and boundaries,
Speaker 1: but you need to learn how to ask for what
Speaker 1: you want. And yes, he might be disappointed, but it's
Speaker 1: your relationship, it's your life, and I'm going to commend
Speaker 1: you for tryal and getting out of your comfort zone.
Speaker 1: And it's okay to not want certain things. I candone, Yeah.
Speaker 2: It's such a big dog move to give it a
Speaker 2: red hot go. I will say. This is also why
Speaker 2: I am pulling back from critical thinking, because everything within
Speaker 2: me understands that relationship should not be exclusionary. Like I
Speaker 2: think that when you decide to join your life with
Speaker 2: someone else's. It should be expansive to give you the
Speaker 2: confidence and the energy and the resource and love to
Speaker 2: do whatever you want. Right, It's like the love is
Speaker 2: so supportive that I can be here I want and
Speaker 2: go what I want and do what I want, and
Speaker 2: we can do it as a unit. And so I
Speaker 2: can see how sometimes monogamy can be really like entrapping
Speaker 2: to be like mmm, but you can't because I don't
Speaker 2: want you to. It's okay, what if I want to huh,
Speaker 2: what if I want to do that thing over there? So, yeah,
Speaker 2: commend you for giving it a red hot go. But
Speaker 2: what I will say is that I think the reality
Speaker 2: of polyamory is something that probably more of us should
Speaker 2: have experience before we critique it so heavily as well.
Speaker 2: So I think in that instance you've had the lived
Speaker 2: experience and you can now say, actually, like I don't
Speaker 2: really love it for me, thank you. And also I
Speaker 2: think it's a real learning a teachable moment for your
Speaker 2: partner to understand the reality of what's being requested, because
Speaker 2: I could imagine not to say that all relationships can
Speaker 2: be fifty to fifty, but if you were seeing it
Speaker 2: through the way your partner was. I think maybe he'd
Speaker 2: also have some different opinions, because right now it's a
Speaker 2: bit imbalanced, you know, like he's out there living and
Speaker 2: you're like waiting at home being like, hey, you come
Speaker 2: back and let me. I think you have more options
Speaker 2: in like stay open or close as well, and those
Speaker 2: options will only be revealed to you if you have
Speaker 2: a conversation about it. I would also love to know
Speaker 2: what his motivations are for being Polly and going Polly
Speaker 2: and deciding after three years with you, like not to
Speaker 2: say that like he's trying to run away from yourn escape.
Speaker 2: I wasn't saying that. I might think that, but you know,
Speaker 2: like to understand the motivations might give you more security
Speaker 2: on what he's seeking elsewhere, because sometimes it's just like
Speaker 2: what you can't provide. And if you understood that what
Speaker 2: he was seeking else it was not something that was
Speaker 2: detracting from what you provide, you might feel better about.
Speaker 1: It, or you can change yourself. Yeah, another option.
Speaker 2: I'm too territorial for that, though. I could be Polly
Speaker 2: and date someone monogamous naturally naturally, but you know, good
Speaker 2: on you. Twenty twenty three.
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