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Speaker 1: I'm always always.

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Speaker 2: Be careful.

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Speaker 3: Love those umboo.

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Speaker 4: Let well use your head, they will tear you lack

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Speaker 4: a paper talk.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah yeah yeah, oh no no no.

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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 2: I'm Amanda and I'm Roby. Welcome to It's Layer We're

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Speaker 2: in a long distance friendship that started over twenty years

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Speaker 2: ago when we were in high school.

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Speaker 3: We'll be talking about all things life, love, family, anything

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Speaker 3: and everything else under the sun.

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Speaker 2: Delve deeper with us because in life, you know my layers.

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Speaker 4: Oh no, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, Hello everyone, and welcome

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Speaker 4: to another episode of It's Layered.

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Speaker 3: Yay season finale, room based season Fall.

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Speaker 2: We then fall. We did it, y'all, we did it.

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Speaker 1: We did it, joall, we did it.

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Speaker 2: How are you feeling, Amanda.

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Speaker 1: It's been a long season, That's how I'm feeling.

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Speaker 3: We've been working interesting. It's been an interesting season. There's

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Speaker 3: a lot of stuff that we've brought up season, very

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Speaker 3: very well needed.

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Speaker 1: I think.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, did you think it was gonna you know, we

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Speaker 2: said at the start of the season, the y air,

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Speaker 2: we're gonna you know, it's we're leveling up, We're taking

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Speaker 2: things to a different level. Do you think we did

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Speaker 2: that this is so random.

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Speaker 1: I think so I felt. I feel like we did.

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Speaker 3: I feel like we every season we grow, I mean

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Speaker 3: more so when you look at what we're trying to

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Speaker 3: do today, our Q and A. We're looking at back

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Speaker 3: from season two all the way to season four, and

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Speaker 3: the last time we did this was season one, which

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Speaker 3: I can't even believe that we haven't done a Q

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Speaker 3: and A since season one. And then when I went

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Speaker 3: back listen to season one, I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 3: our souls, this sounds so innocent.

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Speaker 2: You're strong. I can't listen back to season one. I'm

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Speaker 2: just like, leave that end up, okay.

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Speaker 1: And sometimes people refer to things and I'm like, that's

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Speaker 1: the thing.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes Pop will be like, oh, you know you said this,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, I said that, yeah, right, yep, exactly.

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Speaker 1: So yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, so thank you so much for the season and

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Speaker 2: to everyone who's listened, and what are we doing today?

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Speaker 2: A man that what are we gonna do?

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Speaker 3: We do get a lot of comments, a lot of questions,

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Speaker 3: a lot of my think piece that come through after

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Speaker 3: we do our episodes, which is exactly what Roomby and

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Speaker 3: I intend to open upation around these topics to veer

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Speaker 3: off what we say to latch onto something else, to

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Speaker 3: just drive conversation amongst our people and question ourselves take

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Speaker 3: a moment to be like, hey, why do we do that?

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Speaker 1: Because I mean a lot of this stuff has been

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Speaker 1: normalized that we deal with. So today we thought would

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Speaker 1: look back all the.

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Speaker 3: Way from season two, so when we last did this

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Speaker 3: till now the end of our season at some not all,

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Speaker 3: but some questions that we were asked on some specific episodes.

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Speaker 1: So we're going to try get to them all. There's

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Speaker 1: quite a few.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So we're going to try do your rapid fire

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Speaker 3: style and just bat ban ba bam back try.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and thank you to everyone who engage in discussions,

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Speaker 2: send questions, comments, because that's that's really what it's all

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Speaker 2: about at the end of the day. So I will

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Speaker 2: start and ask you, Amanda right from the town. So

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Speaker 2: let's go on. Friends. One of the questions we got

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Speaker 2: was have you friendships changed as you've entered and accepted

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Speaker 2: your new era of marriage or motherhood?

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Speaker 1: Oh? In a word, yes, they have to. I've changed.

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Speaker 1: That has to change, you know.

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't imagine even when you look back in your

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Speaker 3: twenties the types of friendships you had all the things

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Speaker 3: that tied you together, changes in your mid twenties, changes

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Speaker 3: in your early thirties. So of course it definitely has marriage.

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Speaker 3: You know, those African aunties were like, don't have friends

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Speaker 3: that are not married, you know, because they believe that

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Speaker 3: you're going to bring that energy that like single dim

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Speaker 3: energy and that doesn't happen like that. But I just

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Speaker 3: need to say so, obviously things do change, is why

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Speaker 3: aunties probably say things like that. And then for me

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Speaker 3: it has, especially more so with motherhood because that takes

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Speaker 3: up your time, it takes up your energy. So yeah,

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Speaker 3: when you only have a little bit left, you then

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Speaker 3: become quite selective about how you.

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Speaker 1: Spend it, right, Yeah, and.

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Speaker 3: Then you do require quite a lot of understanding. My

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Speaker 3: friends already moms get it. The ones who are not,

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Speaker 3: it's like half and half some do. Some are expecting

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Speaker 3: me to just disappear where I'm like, no, no, I'm.

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Speaker 1: Still your friend.

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Speaker 3: But you invite me to Yeah, I want to go

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Speaker 3: to the brooch a baby like you know, so so yeah,

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Speaker 3: I would have to say definitely. I would hope though

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Speaker 3: that you know, we can show each other enough grace

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Speaker 3: as friends to understand and pick up where you left off.

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Speaker 3: I think most of my friends are like that, but

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Speaker 3: there are a few that I'm like, hmm, this is

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Speaker 3: probably where it kind of begins to die down.

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Speaker 1: Sadly, that's true.

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Speaker 2: And with marriage, I think you really, especially me just

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Speaker 2: being married, I think you choose how you relate to friends.

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Speaker 2: You can choose to go to the anti way and

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Speaker 2: like neglect all your single friends or like it really

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Speaker 2: is a choice, I believe. Yeah, when it comes to

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Speaker 2: pssibly to marriage, I think mother is the whole other

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Speaker 2: beast in itself.

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Speaker 1: I think motherhood just comes down to no time.

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Speaker 3: You don't even have time for yourself, about no time

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Speaker 3: to shower, How came I M gonna have time to

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Speaker 3: catch up on everything happening. So yeah, with grief and heartbreak, Rimby,

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Speaker 3: why do you think there was such a visceral response

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Speaker 3: to this episode.

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Speaker 2: I think because as a people, we hardly take time

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Speaker 2: to reflect and to really kind of come to terms

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Speaker 2: with some of the things we go through. We're always

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Speaker 2: moving on, we're always suppressing true feelings, and I think

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Speaker 2: everyone can relate to loss and grief and heartbreak, as

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Speaker 2: we said in the episode, is beyond just you know,

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Speaker 2: losing someone of course we emphasize that, but it's mourning

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Speaker 2: the loss of you know, whether it's a friend or job,

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Speaker 2: or yourself or self. So we can all relate to it,

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Speaker 2: but we just don't talk about it. We're society, especially

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Speaker 2: in Zimbabwe, we just don't talk about a lot of

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Speaker 2: these deeper feelings. And I think that's why people connected

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Speaker 2: with it. It's like, man, you know, i've lost someone.

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Speaker 2: I'm also you know, lost a loved one. I'm an orphan,

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Speaker 2: I complete. You know, it was really really interesting to

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Speaker 2: see that, So that that was deep, That was really Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think sometimes it becomes almost a competition, you know,

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Speaker 3: especially in the Zim space where we probably face a

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Speaker 3: lot of hardship on the daily, it's got to be like, oh, well.

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Speaker 1: You know, who hasn't lost someone?

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Speaker 2: You learn?

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Speaker 3: There's like that dismissive nature of it. So I think

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Speaker 3: the fact that we took a moment to pause and

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Speaker 3: reflect made people feel seen, which I was really glad

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Speaker 3: that we did.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely. And then another quite a hot topic too

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Speaker 2: is classism. Why is it such an uncomfortable yet necessary

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Speaker 2: topic to discuss? How do you feel about that?

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Speaker 1: I think, similar to what you just said, we just

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Speaker 1: never do right. We just accept this is life.

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Speaker 3: But it's like why that's what we were saying, why,

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Speaker 3: you know, and questioning that.

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Speaker 1: And I think.

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Speaker 3: It's necessary to discuss because only once it's out in

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Speaker 3: the open will it not have a power over us. Yes,

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Speaker 3: you know, I would hate to think someone will dismissed

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Speaker 3: me just because I went to a private school, or

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Speaker 3: I would dismiss someone because they went to a mission school,

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Speaker 3: or because they live in a different neighborhood, or because

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Speaker 3: they are North and I'm.

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Speaker 1: South, or whatever it is.

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Speaker 3: You know, Like I would hate dismiss me because of

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Speaker 3: the things I say and the getting to know me

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Speaker 3: and actually giving me a chance to say something, not

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Speaker 3: because of external factors that in most cases we can't

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Speaker 3: control or are decided for you, you know, especially with classism,

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Speaker 3: a lot of it is gained from what your parents

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Speaker 3: did or you.

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Speaker 1: Know, so it's like that would be quite unfortunate.

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Speaker 3: So I think it is necessary to discuss to demystify

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Speaker 3: and to make it okay to talk about.

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Speaker 2: To talk about. And I think it's so interesting the

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Speaker 2: conversation still go on. I think they recently was a

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Speaker 2: hot topic about a school where some students were expelled

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Speaker 2: for vaping. I don't know this whole thing, And immediately

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Speaker 2: the conversation switched to private versus public, which in essence

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Speaker 2: is a conversation around classism. But people like to just

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Speaker 2: point fingers and be like, haha, you guys do this,

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Speaker 2: you do, But we don't really ask ourselves enough. But

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Speaker 2: why is it such a thing, and why do we

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Speaker 2: move onto this mindset so much?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and why are we separating ourselves? You know, we'll

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Speaker 3: pretty much letting the man win, right because we are

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Speaker 3: we've kind of done away with most of tribalism and Zimbabwe.

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Speaker 3: But then when it comes to this, it's like we

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Speaker 3: found a new way to separate each other.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely No, So.

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Speaker 3: Okay, with surviving diaspora, do you ever see yourself moving

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Speaker 3: back home or have you fully settled in the diaspora?

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Speaker 2: This is like, it's funny. I saw there was a

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Speaker 2: tweet about people who leave Zimbabwe is something like have

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Speaker 2: they given up? Or is it a solution or they

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Speaker 2: give I don't know, some random and is it like

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Speaker 2: a cop out or a cop out whatever. And it's

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Speaker 2: a very hard question to answer because people assume when

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Speaker 2: you leave that you don't believe in your country, or

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Speaker 2: you don't, you're not proud, or they think you're almost

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Speaker 2: like throwing your country in the bin, which is far

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Speaker 2: from it. I think I have settled, but I've always

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Speaker 2: felt like I can move any time, not necessarily home,

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Speaker 2: but anyway. I don't know, I've just always felt that way.

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Speaker 2: I've never and you know this amount, I've never felt

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Speaker 2: home in a location. It's never in the thing. It's

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Speaker 2: more like home and mindset, like the people around me,

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Speaker 2: the people I keep in my circle. And now, thanks

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Speaker 2: to technology, that circle then't have to be in a

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Speaker 2: physical space or wherever it is. So yeah, I think

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Speaker 2: I think I'm okay for now where I'm at, and

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Speaker 2: who knows what will happen. I don't have a solid

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Speaker 2: answer like hey, I'm going to and then you'll never

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Speaker 2: see yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know about.

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Speaker 1: You live changes.

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Speaker 3: That's good that you're keeping yourself open, because some people

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Speaker 3: really do have a oh hell no, oh hell yeah,

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Speaker 3: I'm moving back, so I mean to be in the

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Speaker 3: middle of that is not too bad.

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Speaker 1: I think.

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Speaker 3: Also, Zimbabwe is such a moving space, but it's hard

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Speaker 3: to sometimes know for sure. It's not like somewhere like Germany,

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Speaker 3: where you can just be like, oh yeah, in ten years,

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Speaker 3: it's not going to be roughly the same, you know,

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Speaker 3: Zim could be completely different. So I guess that's what

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Speaker 3: makes people a bit unsure sometimes. I personally would love

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Speaker 3: to move back, especially now that I have Jerome. I

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Speaker 3: would love to move back for a certain amount of time,

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Speaker 3: maybe a bit later on in his life when he

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Speaker 3: actually understands that we've moved back. Yeah, it would be

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Speaker 3: amazing if I could. But also it becomes things about

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Speaker 3: finances and what are we doing there, blah blah blah

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Speaker 3: because of the space Zimbabwe is. But yeah, I think

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Speaker 3: it would be interesting for me to move back, not

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Speaker 3: as a child anymore, and see how it is as

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Speaker 3: an adult, yeah, because I obviously haven't had that experience.

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Speaker 1: I always just go back for holidays, so we'll see.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I think also we longed because we had a

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Speaker 2: good experience growing up in some you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: So you there's something of wanting to keep that or give,

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Speaker 2: you know, and.

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Speaker 1: I totally yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: And then let's talk about money, money, money, money, maney money, money, money,

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Speaker 2: mone So how do you For the finances episode, we

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Speaker 2: had a question coming how do you handle explaining to

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Speaker 2: your partner that there always has to be an amount

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Speaker 2: in your finances for relatives in Zimbabwe?

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Speaker 1: One word disparity.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, if I didn't have disparity obviously, then

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Speaker 3: there wouldn't be We just spoke just then about how

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Speaker 3: zim Is is a moving space and things are always changing,

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Speaker 3: so you just I think also it helps that Massle

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Speaker 3: has been to zim So I think I would always

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Speaker 3: advise anyone who has a partner who's not from a

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Speaker 3: space to perhaps take them to that space and show

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Speaker 3: them the only way people can see is with their

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Speaker 3: own eyes, yep. And then once they do, once they've experienced,

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Speaker 3: they might fall away some of those ideas they have

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Speaker 3: around it. Having said that, if your lights are not

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Speaker 3: staying on because you're spending money home, it's better as

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Speaker 3: a problem.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, that's a black tax. So you need to you.

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Speaker 3: Definitely need to be open and see is this working

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Speaker 3: for you? Are you killing yourselves to make this work

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Speaker 3: or is it something that's manageable.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's all about communication.

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Speaker 1: Communication, It really is.

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Speaker 2: It really is, And you'll find eventually your partner like,

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Speaker 2: so what are we doing for X or how do

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Speaker 2: we Yeah, so they get it like yeah.

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Speaker 3: And I would think as you're falling in love, you

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Speaker 3: don't hide that part away. You can't from your partner,

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Speaker 3: So then at least it won't be like now we're married,

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Speaker 3: not all of a sudden you're saying. You can be like, oh,

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Speaker 3: you know, this is what I do for my family

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Speaker 3: and you know, and then hopefully they know what's happen.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: With mental health, we had the two broke twinbles On

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Speaker 3: shout out to them and condolences to doctor and near

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Speaker 3: who we know was working very closely with them for

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Speaker 3: their mental wellness. Mondays just want to ask you a question.

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Speaker 3: What ways can we continue to move the stigma around

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Speaker 3: mental health?

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Speaker 2: Do you think I think it's to have conversations. I

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Speaker 2: think you know some of the scenarios or situation that

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Speaker 2: people find themselves and they don't realize this to do

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Speaker 2: with mental health or mental wellness. So it really is

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Speaker 2: like you can't just be like we are no PingER.

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Speaker 2: It's like, you know, maybe things are are difficult, and

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Speaker 2: it's really hard for to have these conversations without older

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Speaker 2: generations because you know, they it's hard to open them up.

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Speaker 2: But as I feel our generation and younger it's just

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Speaker 2: to continue having the conversation, to say it's okay, or

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Speaker 2: to be honest, and to provide safe spaces for one

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Speaker 2: another to share that you know, maybe I do need help.

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Speaker 2: But it's hard because I think I really understand our

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Speaker 2: society and how we are so not into talking about

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Speaker 2: these kind of things. But we just have to have

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Speaker 2: those uncomfortable conversations. And it's not to say you just

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Speaker 2: be like, hey, you need to see a therapist, you know,

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Speaker 2: because people weaponize these things as well, But it's to

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Speaker 2: be like, you know, I'm here for you if you

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Speaker 2: need to talk. Is there anything I can do? Can

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Speaker 2: I recommend someone like just you know reading, You can't

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Speaker 2: force someone again to seek mental help. You just have

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Speaker 2: to be there for them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, I think so. And I think as

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Speaker 3: we see more and more people committing suicide who we

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Speaker 3: ultwardly never would think of, you know, Robin Williams or

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Speaker 3: even twitch people know, you know, like, it's like these

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Speaker 3: stories drive conversation as well, like oh, we thought everything

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Speaker 3: was fine and then you know, and I must people

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Speaker 3: exactly m And there's definitely been a lot of people

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Speaker 3: who have committed suicide, but families will deny it because

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Speaker 3: they don't want you know. Also, the Christian aspects us

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Speaker 3: to play into that, you know, religion s us to

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Speaker 3: play into that as well. Not admitting that this person

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Speaker 3: committed suicide or so before it gets that bad, you

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Speaker 3: would hope that we can be there for each other

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Speaker 3: and champion each other, and yeah, remove the stigma around

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Speaker 3: talking about it at least for sure.

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Speaker 2: And then with complicated relationships, it's actually perfect segue because

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Speaker 2: these complicated relationships, communication is always hard. How do you

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Speaker 2: explain to people a complicated relationship? And should you have to?

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Speaker 3: I think when this episode dropped, we had like a

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Speaker 3: meme or sorry tweet that we shared. It was like

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Speaker 3: when you meet someone and either have to give them

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Speaker 3: the Jerry Springer version or this like version of of

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Speaker 3: how you are as family. Yes, I think it's need

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Speaker 3: to know personally, like are you really going to be

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Speaker 3: going around everyone saying this is myth brother, this is

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Speaker 3: my ass.

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Speaker 1: It's like, you know, it's just.

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Speaker 3: It's hard, it's communicated to yeah too, yeah, and sometimes

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Speaker 3: it's quicker just to cut through through all of that.

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Speaker 1: Then the people who need to know will know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but I don't know that you have to definitely don't.

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Speaker 3: That's your own you know. And people's definition of family

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Speaker 3: is also different as someone who grew up with cousins

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Speaker 3: around me, cousins who are treated and were treated in

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Speaker 3: my family, and still you know.

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Speaker 1: As siblings.

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Speaker 3: It's like, am I really going to go into like

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Speaker 3: if I say someone's my sister, they and my sister,

341
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Speaker 3: you don't need to be.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: So it's like, yeah, yeah, so I think as and

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Speaker 3: also just that the family dynamic is changing. People are

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Speaker 3: saying six couples are having kids and all this, and

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Speaker 3: it's just going to mean more and more quote unquote

347
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Speaker 3: complications right when it comes to explaining. So I think

348
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Speaker 3: we just need to be open minded, and I think real.

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Speaker 2: Life shouldn't go with pride. You shouldn't pry and shouldn't

350
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Speaker 2: always look at things in the traditional sense of that

351
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Speaker 2: allows someone to share as they will, don't you like,

352
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Speaker 2: oh your mom must be happy, Like don't say things

353
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Speaker 2: like that, like it just being sensitive around Yeah, I think.

354
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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just hard to do, but it does make

355
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,960
Speaker 1: it awkward sometimes when you get it wrong. But just

356
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:08,399
Speaker 1: keep it moving, yeah, exactly.

357
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Speaker 3: Yeah, with comparison culture and how have you managed this

358
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Speaker 3: as a new wife.

359
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Speaker 2: I don't really tell people what's going on in my marriage,

360
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Speaker 2: to be fair.

361
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Speaker 3: Yeah, so within yourself you don't have any comparisons either.

362
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:33,760
Speaker 2: No, because and you'll hear you have heard this in

363
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Speaker 2: the Mother Motherhood episode. It's like, no one's been married

364
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:41,359
Speaker 2: to my Like I'm like, I'm married to him and

365
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:45,400
Speaker 2: he's married to me, Like we are very specifically each other.

366
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Speaker 2: And I think, yeah, I'm sure, yes, you look like,

367
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Speaker 2: oh other people do this, But I don't know. I

368
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Speaker 2: just it doesn't really cross my mind that much, you

369
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Speaker 2: know what I mean. I can be inspired and there's

370
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Speaker 2: a difference, Like I can be inspired to be like,

371
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:02,720
Speaker 2: oh that would be nice, So that would be something

372
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,960
Speaker 2: I would like to see in my marriage. But in

373
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Speaker 2: terms of me comparing myself to others, I don't know.

374
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Speaker 2: Like to each is what I've really learned in life,

375
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Speaker 2: is to each his You might be like this man

376
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:16,040
Speaker 2: is messed up and someone is thriving in it, like

377
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:20,840
Speaker 2: to each his or her own. But in terms of

378
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,920
Speaker 2: other people comparing me, I think I just don't really

379
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Speaker 2: talk that much about my marriage, to be fair, So

380
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Speaker 2: I don't know is that even I don't know if

381
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:34,880
Speaker 2: I answered the question, but yeah, and for you, how

382
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:38,720
Speaker 2: do you manage it with being a mother the comparison culture.

383
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Speaker 3: I'll tell you right now, Guys, being a mom in

384
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:47,640
Speaker 3: comparison culture eye hand in hand. They are like, because

385
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,800
Speaker 3: babies have milestones. So when your baby doesn't reach that

386
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:55,520
Speaker 3: milestone or doesn't do it quick enough, or it's too slow,

387
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 3: or is blah blah blah, of.

388
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Speaker 1: Course you're can.

389
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 3: It's all the way they how you to take care

390
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,200
Speaker 3: of children and to check for these things is based

391
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:06,520
Speaker 3: on comparison. Right, You're on a graph, and like are

392
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:10,160
Speaker 3: you in this percentile? Even their weight? You know they're

393
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:13,560
Speaker 3: gaining weight quick enough while they you know, so everything

394
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,000
Speaker 3: if you actually look at it, is deeped in comparison

395
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Speaker 3: in that beginning, because you know, and I've noticed as well,

396
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:26,000
Speaker 3: and people moms who've had their kids away from home

397
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,880
Speaker 3: might have noticed the same. If your kid doesn't fit

398
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:32,920
Speaker 3: in because they don't know enough about black kids, or

399
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 3: you know, like is this data that you have of

400
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:40,000
Speaker 3: these percentiles based on black kids as well? Or am

401
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:43,480
Speaker 3: I just trying to fit into the European standards?

402
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:45,360
Speaker 1: You know, you just don't have those.

403
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,600
Speaker 3: We don't have that information on hand, so it's pretty

404
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:53,919
Speaker 3: hard and I think the only way I've been able

405
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,679
Speaker 3: to manage is to, yeah, I just realize what you

406
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,359
Speaker 3: just said. You know, each kid is different, each to

407
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,800
Speaker 3: their own their own child. You know, someone will tell you, oh,

408
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:05,600
Speaker 3: I never sleep with my child. They have to sleep

409
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:06,920
Speaker 3: in the bassinet. You know, I don't want to have

410
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 3: bad abits. Meanwhile, I'm like, well, three quarters of the

411
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 3: world doesn't have a spare bedroom or a spare bacinet

412
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:13,560
Speaker 3: for their kid.

413
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 1: They sleep right next to mama, so what then?

414
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 3: You know, people would be like, oh, we don't give

415
00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:22,479
Speaker 3: a kid spicy food, but you're telling me people in

416
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:25,040
Speaker 3: India don't eat spicy food from the job. Like It's

417
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:29,639
Speaker 3: like everything is, you know, so people are comparing, but

418
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:32,960
Speaker 3: the only normal you have is your sphere of what

419
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,600
Speaker 3: normal is. And I think that's just what I've been

420
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:39,960
Speaker 3: trying to do, Like okay, and actually being Zimbabwean in

421
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 3: Australia with my child has helped me in a lot

422
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,399
Speaker 3: of ways because it's grounded me. Like when people are

423
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:47,119
Speaker 3: worrying about oh my gosh, then I have to have

424
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,399
Speaker 3: a bacinet upstairs and downstairs because I don't want to

425
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:53,640
Speaker 3: like and I'm thinking, girl, the fact that ready one

426
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:56,359
Speaker 3: is fine or none that is fine, whatever, you know,

427
00:22:56,480 --> 00:23:01,919
Speaker 3: like just really like realize these things material a lot

428
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 3: of them and to simplify, I think that's just the best.

429
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:11,440
Speaker 1: But comparison culture is rife for can you.

430
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:14,199
Speaker 2: Just sit in like a bit of let's just have

431
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,760
Speaker 2: a little praise moment for you as a mom. And

432
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:20,320
Speaker 2: you know we haven't really done this, but I would

433
00:23:20,359 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 2: just like to give you your flowers in being a

434
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 2: first time mom away from home and you've been doing

435
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:30,200
Speaker 2: a lot of it alone, you know, especially of late,

436
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 2: and you just rate like your boy, he's just the

437
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 2: happiest boy. And you know, and I hope you feel

438
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 2: like you are really doing the things because you are.

439
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:51,639
Speaker 2: I'm marveled. I'm scared, y'all. I'm scared. I had a

440
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:57,400
Speaker 2: dream that other night that I couldn't that's my biggest here.

441
00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:03,400
Speaker 2: Because you're pregnant, that thing is in you even then

442
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:05,280
Speaker 2: you suffer. But I just had a nightment I was

443
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:08,760
Speaker 2: like you about the way you suffer. You're suffering, so

444
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,479
Speaker 2: that to be like as much as you there's that

445
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:19,480
Speaker 2: comparison thing, but just like, look at you like your

446
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 2: your child, and I'm sure people listening like, yeah, obviously

447
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 2: you're biased, but I have mad respect like mad man

448
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,920
Speaker 2: respectful for you as a mother and what you try

449
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 2: to do. Like you'll be like, oh, he should be

450
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:38,639
Speaker 2: doing this, man. I remember when we were in in Hamburg.

451
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,320
Speaker 2: You're like, oh, he should be he's he has to

452
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:44,359
Speaker 2: start rolling on his side or I was like sure,

453
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 2: I wouldn't, just like he was trying, right, remember, and

454
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,399
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, yeah, he starts, you know, rolling, and

455
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:57,360
Speaker 2: you do certain things or like push his legs up

456
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 2: to let out the gas.

457
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, girl, Yeah. I think it's just a

458
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,440
Speaker 1: lot of real and one or two sources.

459
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 3: Was Google is also strange, so you still have to

460
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 3: have one or two sources that you like I always

461
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 3: go to. If it's not in those sources, then it's

462
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,200
Speaker 3: okay because there's a.

463
00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 1: Lot out there.

464
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,359
Speaker 3: And I think the best way to compare it, maybe

465
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 3: that you could relate to Rumby, is comparing weddings. I

466
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:25,159
Speaker 3: think that's the when people compare my wedding at this

467
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 3: is my wedding and that I was this type of bride,

468
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 3: Like that's.

469
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:30,800
Speaker 1: Kind of the same energy that being a New mom has.

470
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,119
Speaker 3: Everyone wants to part their wisdom and tell you how

471
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:34,440
Speaker 3: they did it and did it cheap out?

472
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 1: Did it this? Or did it that?

473
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 3: And it's a lot you just have to take out

474
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 3: the noise.

475
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:41,359
Speaker 2: Yeah and true, that's very true.

476
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:45,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, Interracial Relationships was quite an interesting episode.

477
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:48,359
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people were quite curious.

478
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 3: But how do you handle meeting other people in interracial

479
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:58,119
Speaker 3: relationships as well who do not seem to seek a

480
00:25:58,240 --> 00:25:59,199
Speaker 3: kinship with you?

481
00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:02,800
Speaker 1: And should they be one? So you know, there's that black.

482
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:06,400
Speaker 2: Noge we see another blacker, So.

483
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:09,760
Speaker 3: Now what the black nod before relate interracial relationships.

484
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:13,439
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's the same in Australia as

485
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:17,119
Speaker 2: it is here in Europe. And but like I get excited,

486
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:20,400
Speaker 2: especially if I see another black woman with a non

487
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:24,720
Speaker 2: black man or you know what I mean. I want

488
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:27,920
Speaker 2: to be like, you know, like befriends. Like I can't

489
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 2: help it. I get excited, and I think it's just

490
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 2: a kinship of like we're in the same battlefield. We understand.

491
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I see you see me?

492
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, But it's often not reciprocated, like people give

493
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,879
Speaker 2: a very like just because I'm and it even happens

494
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:49,040
Speaker 2: beyond interracial relationships like black. Sometimes when I see other

495
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 2: black people's like, don't just think because we're black, we all,

496
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,200
Speaker 2: you know, hang out or chill. And I get that

497
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 2: you don't want to be over do it too much,

498
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 2: like overdo it and make it uncomfortable comfortable, but it's

499
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,720
Speaker 2: not always received very well. To be fair, like, my

500
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 2: experiences have been a bit odd. I will say, like

501
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 2: meeting someone and you know, I just try and meet

502
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:13,920
Speaker 2: them from a human level, like oh I like your

503
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 2: hair or whatever, and I had instances where they're like, oh, yeah, thanks,

504
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,360
Speaker 2: and then they just like kept it pushing, and then

505
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:23,440
Speaker 2: they'll go and follow you on social media and you're confused.

506
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:28,159
Speaker 3: So they're curious about you, but then they're yeah.

507
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:29,960
Speaker 2: So I don't know if it's people feel like they

508
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:31,200
Speaker 2: don't want to just be like.

509
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 1: A stereoto familiar, too familiar.

510
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 2: I don't know what it is. I would love the kinship.

511
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:41,120
Speaker 2: I think it's great because you can learn from each other.

512
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 2: You know, it's I don't know, it's weird. I don't

513
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:44,720
Speaker 2: know what you think.

514
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:47,200
Speaker 3: It's just I agree with you there should be a

515
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 3: kinship because people are all there on the streets hating.

516
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:54,159
Speaker 3: So it's nice to like almost be like, okay, but

517
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 3: we're in this together. You know, people are pretty conceived

518
00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 3: notions about interracial relationship ships that are in some ways

519
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 3: much deeper than people are willing.

520
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:07,719
Speaker 1: To admit.

521
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 3: So I think it'd be nice if you meet someone

522
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:14,639
Speaker 3: who's also gone through the battlefield, as you said, and

523
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:16,560
Speaker 3: come out on the other end. You know, it'd be

524
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 3: nice to be like, oh, okay, so your relationship is

525
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,159
Speaker 3: because like I've had people who were like, oh, your

526
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,640
Speaker 3: relationship won't last iterationship but never last. Since that things

527
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:25,160
Speaker 3: like that you're fighting things like that, you're like based

528
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:26,359
Speaker 3: on what's that's you know.

529
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 2: Even I get see an older couple interration, like the

530
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:36,639
Speaker 2: lady and the men are are more elderly, and you know,

531
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:40,800
Speaker 2: the hair salon I go to, she's an older lady

532
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:44,240
Speaker 2: married to a British guy and they have like teenaged

533
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,200
Speaker 2: girls and like, oh my gosh, like and she's willing

534
00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 2: to like have the conversation, I think because she no

535
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 2: knows you know, yeah, experience and all that.

536
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:56,360
Speaker 1: So and back in her day it was probably less

537
00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 1: couples than there are now.

538
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,120
Speaker 2: Yes, and we don't do it in like kind of

539
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 2: like it's just like to be able to be like yeah, man,

540
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 2: or like at Christmas they do this and we do this.

541
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:08,840
Speaker 2: It's like yeah, it's strange, right, and it's.

542
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:11,480
Speaker 1: Like, you know, like you can laugh about it and have.

543
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 2: Something you know in common, so it's yeah, and then

544
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 2: it's not weird. We're not like, okay, we're besties now,

545
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 2: no moving.

546
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do judge, but don't give me the black

547
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:23,480
Speaker 3: nod though here in Malbourne, I'm.

548
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 1: Like I nodded that too, not that being back.

549
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 2: Wow, I don't know.

550
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:33,520
Speaker 1: I just feel like like why not?

551
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:38,440
Speaker 2: And I found women ignore the most. I find women

552
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:41,120
Speaker 2: ignore them most, and it's really unfortunate. Like I'll be

553
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,240
Speaker 2: like happy and you know, I'll be like my sister

554
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 2: in my heart, my sister, and then they just like

555
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 2: turn on.

556
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:49,960
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, and then sometimes guys are too familiar.

557
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 1: I didn't say that as well.

558
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so what do we want?

559
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 2: We don't know.

560
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:57,240
Speaker 1: We want to know a quick nod and walk away.

561
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,960
Speaker 2: And keep it moving, keep it patience, that's what we want.

562
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:07,920
Speaker 2: And then speaking of relationships with Rora, this was an

563
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:10,480
Speaker 2: episode where people quoted me you said and I was like, oh,

564
00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 2: I said that. But anyway Rora it is obsolete. Should

565
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:19,320
Speaker 2: we just refuse to partake in ror or Lobola.

566
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:21,480
Speaker 1: I think we did try to address it in the episode,

567
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 1: but there's never enough. Yeah.

568
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,239
Speaker 3: I think also when you come from the angle we

569
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:31,080
Speaker 3: tried to do as a multi layered explain to the

570
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 3: people angle, it made it seem like we're trying to

571
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,400
Speaker 3: say this is an obsolete thing. But I think we

572
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 3: did come to the conclusion that we don't want it

573
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 3: to be obsolete. We don't want to refuse to partake, Yes,

574
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 3: but it doesn't have to always be like so monetary

575
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:51,320
Speaker 3: or so optic driven as it is now. We just

576
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 3: want we actually wanted to go back to the old

577
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 3: old days, you know, like you're just bring two families

578
00:30:56,640 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 3: together and it's okay, you know. So I think it's

579
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:04,520
Speaker 3: like that mixture that we're trying to do the Zimbabwean thing,

580
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:08,200
Speaker 3: but also now trying to mix it with Western ideologies,

581
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 3: you know, almost it was like a weird space to occupy.

582
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,280
Speaker 3: Or that's that's how I feel. I love I love

583
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:19,240
Speaker 3: honoring my traditions obviously, but we also have to move

584
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 3: with the times.

585
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 2: Yes, And I think someone asked me if I would do.

586
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:26,880
Speaker 2: Like I said, I wouldn't make my children go through RURA.

587
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 1: Oh yes, yeah you did.

588
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think something like that. Yeah, I think to

589
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 2: answer this question more specifically, I would not put my

590
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 2: children through that financial pressure of having to pay something

591
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 2: for there. But I absolutely want my children to know

592
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 2: my culture, their culture, and to celebrate it in some way,

593
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:51,920
Speaker 2: shape or form, you know what I mean. So yeah,

594
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 2: just to be more specific, and also, guys, I was

595
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:56,480
Speaker 2: in the midst of RURA when I was speaking. I

596
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:57,280
Speaker 2: was probably.

597
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 1: It wasn't PTSD whatever in it.

598
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:06,360
Speaker 2: I was the think of it, guys, think of it.

599
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 2: I even stress it hadn't even gone through guys, the

600
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 2: check hadn't kids, So I was. But that's what I

601
00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 2: absolutely feel in terms of Yeah, my perspective.

602
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:21,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, some people, as we acknowledged on the episode,

603
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:24,240
Speaker 3: are choosing to do and call it a day, yes,

604
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 3: you know, and then they don't do the traditional wedding,

605
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 3: and I have no problem with that at all, Like,

606
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 3: actually that is our forefathers did it.

607
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 1: So that's all.

608
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:36,400
Speaker 2: It was like jumping the broom for America exactly exactly.

609
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:40,640
Speaker 3: So I don't Yeah, because not much you're not financially

610
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 3: financially in strife because of these things, then we're good.

611
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:46,280
Speaker 2: Do your best, do your best.

612
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 1: Colonial listen.

613
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 3: Is it came at such an app time also obviously

614
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 3: with the monarch, with Queen Elizabeth passing away? Do you

615
00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:01,720
Speaker 3: think Zimbabweb apparently seeking to rejoin the Commonwealth?

616
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:05,000
Speaker 1: Should we? Shouldn't we? And is there a real benefit?

617
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:14,800
Speaker 1: A silence the crick I'm.

618
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:15,720
Speaker 2: Trying to word it.

619
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:18,880
Speaker 1: Worded? How are you worded?

620
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 2: Why are you joining the Commonwealth? Tell us why?

621
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 1: Why?

622
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:26,120
Speaker 2: And what benefits and who is it benefiting? Is it

623
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:30,840
Speaker 2: benefiting Britain because they exited the EU and they're struggling

624
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:33,800
Speaker 2: with obviously employment and now obviously we know a lot

625
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 2: of people are going from Zimbabwe to England to work

626
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 2: in the healthcare industry. As a result, they're understaffed in

627
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 2: you know a number of industries. Is it for our

628
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,720
Speaker 2: government to look like they are compliant with the West

629
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 2: so that they can get funding, funding which they're going

630
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:56,360
Speaker 2: to swindle and corruptly used to their benefit. Is it

631
00:33:56,400 --> 00:34:02,520
Speaker 2: going to help us as Zimbabweans enter into universities cheap

632
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 2: cheaper or get more grants and scholarship?

633
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:07,440
Speaker 1: Do sports?

634
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:09,719
Speaker 2: Are we going to be able to travel to the

635
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 2: UK without having to go through rigorous visa application processes.

636
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 2: Are we going to be considered not at the bottom

637
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:21,040
Speaker 2: of the food chain when it comes to sort of

638
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:25,760
Speaker 2: our passports? And you know answer, I need the answers

639
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:27,480
Speaker 2: to those questions before y'all are.

640
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:29,440
Speaker 3: So quick to be So how does it How does

641
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 3: it affect the everyday man?

642
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:32,480
Speaker 1: Is what we need to know.

643
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 2: Yes, because you know people don't These people don't do

644
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 2: things for free. Are they going to give us our

645
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 2: tools back? Is that part of them is that they

646
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:43,440
Speaker 2: don't kick Megan out? And you're telling us they're going

647
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 2: to keep us in for what.

648
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:46,960
Speaker 1: For nothing?

649
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:50,440
Speaker 3: No way, my minerals as they want to.

650
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:53,239
Speaker 2: And of course you know our people will sell of

651
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:57,560
Speaker 2: the minerals with the quickness to make a quick bug.

652
00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 2: So I mean this getting me worked up. I don't

653
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:02,719
Speaker 2: know what, Yeah, I.

654
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:03,279
Speaker 1: Feel you know.

655
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:05,840
Speaker 3: The only thing I think when we were asked this question,

656
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 3: the only thing point I brought up was sport.

657
00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:10,720
Speaker 1: I know it sounds so left and random.

658
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,400
Speaker 3: But I was like, if it means that we can compete,

659
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:16,520
Speaker 3: you know, go like, obviously the Olympics are something different.

660
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 3: But one of the things I loved about the Commonwealth

661
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:21,200
Speaker 3: is the Commonwealth Games, then we could like have you

662
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,080
Speaker 3: know our team there representing and I think the people

663
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:27,600
Speaker 3: who are in sport is quite important to compete at

664
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:30,920
Speaker 3: an international level. But if you can go to the

665
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 3: Commonwealth Games and not get all that other stuff, I'm

666
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:36,279
Speaker 3: good like that, you know. But I just feel like

667
00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:40,319
Speaker 3: I just feel like, yeah, everything you said, Rumbi, what's

668
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 3: the actual benefit to an everyday person?

669
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:49,360
Speaker 1: You know? And will it reach the everyday person?

670
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:51,960
Speaker 3: So yeah, even if they answer all those questions and

671
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:55,200
Speaker 3: they all sound right, will we as well to take

672
00:35:55,239 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 3: ownership over our actions also stop being corrupt to let

673
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:01,280
Speaker 3: people you know, or will it just be a certain

674
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 3: type of person in Zimbabwe people who benefit, you know,

675
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:10,160
Speaker 3: because someone sometimes we're told us there's sanctions are not

676
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 3: getting us, but certain people get to go. You're like,

677
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:19,000
Speaker 3: I I thought there were sanctions, why I allowed and

678
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:19,719
Speaker 3: some are you know.

679
00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 1: So that's the thing. It's like, if you're organ stuff

680
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:24,680
Speaker 1: and lettle stuff, we're going to benefit. It's all benefit,

681
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 1: you know.

682
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 3: Absolutely, this while have and have not is it needs

683
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 3: to energy needs.

684
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:35,080
Speaker 2: To anyone who's listening and is not Zimbabwean. We have

685
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,799
Speaker 2: a problem. My people it's like, as long as I

686
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:42,239
Speaker 2: have that's what that's an attitude problem that we haven't. Yeah.

687
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Like someone would tell you are go to

688
00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:48,360
Speaker 3: use it for university if you're an average Zimbabwean.

689
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:51,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're kids. The chancellor of use it won't have

690
00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 1: his kids there, yes, you know, he will ship his

691
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:54,920
Speaker 1: kids elsewhere.

692
00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:57,480
Speaker 3: And you're like, ah, if you're running through school and

693
00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:58,920
Speaker 3: you say everything, so what's wrong.

694
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:02,719
Speaker 2: With the school? Why is your kids can't go? That's

695
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:07,360
Speaker 2: all I'm saying. So yeah, And another question with colonialism

696
00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 2: that we got was how do how do we navigate

697
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 2: the complexities of colonialism whilst being in interracial relationships?

698
00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 1: Come for the jugular?

699
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:27,239
Speaker 3: I think because obviously, like colonialism, even though it's considered

700
00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:30,839
Speaker 3: to be a thing of the past, those ideologists ideology

701
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 3: still happen today. So I think again it's communication. You know,

702
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:40,160
Speaker 3: semple still have a colonialist mindset even though we're not.

703
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:41,279
Speaker 1: You know, you go to.

704
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:43,839
Speaker 3: South Africa sometimes you're like, hey, apartid ended, my guy,

705
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:50,960
Speaker 3: why are you treating me like does not exist exactly

706
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:55,200
Speaker 3: like I used to have in Rhodesia, Like it's done.

707
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 3: So I think it is complex and sometimes maybe we're

708
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 3: also per sensitive because we've been like wrongfully dealt with sometimes.

709
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:08,319
Speaker 3: So I think in a relationship it's about knowing, like

710
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:12,240
Speaker 3: which it's about your partner knowing where you're coming from, yes,

711
00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 3: and knowing why you're thinking the way you think. But

712
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:18,200
Speaker 3: at the same time, you know you have to you

713
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:21,239
Speaker 3: have to move forward in some way. You have to

714
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:24,200
Speaker 3: learn from the past and use it to move forward.

715
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:27,400
Speaker 3: And hopefully I would think, you know, I know Thomas,

716
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 3: I know myself, is that they would be allies as well,

717
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 3: so they'll also pointed out to their homies when we're

718
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:36,040
Speaker 3: not there. Even ay, you know that's a bit yes,

719
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:40,080
Speaker 3: odd to say or odd to think so, but yeah,

720
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 3: it can be tricky, especially when family is involved.

721
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:44,239
Speaker 2: You know.

722
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:46,239
Speaker 3: I think with our own partners it could be nice

723
00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 3: and open. But now when family is in the mix

724
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 3: and they say something a bit off, you're like, hey,

725
00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:53,560
Speaker 3: you might just respect you because you're my person person

726
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:56,680
Speaker 3: or do I say this is a teachable moment yes,

727
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:58,279
Speaker 3: or is this a just.

728
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:00,759
Speaker 2: Little bit you find you have to find a way

729
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 2: to express it. Like for example, when when the Queen died,

730
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 2: it's like or the jubilee she had a Jubilee right

731
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:10,760
Speaker 2: then she died and then they're like, oh, the jubile

732
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:13,960
Speaker 2: and it's like, yeah, it's a it's a bittersweet thing.

733
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,920
Speaker 2: And then you kind of explain that, and you know,

734
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,320
Speaker 2: my mom in law was like, yeah, they need to

735
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 2: give you back your jewels by the end of that.

736
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:25,320
Speaker 2: So like yeah, because then they grasp and they understand

737
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 2: the concept of like no, like these other issues and

738
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,279
Speaker 2: and then you find that they start understanding or they

739
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:35,759
Speaker 2: start being like, oh, this isn't right, or even with

740
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:40,319
Speaker 2: just race issues, they start being like this movie the

741
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,480
Speaker 2: one thing I love tom Way said, He's like, you

742
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:45,040
Speaker 2: know a lot of the rings they're not black people

743
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:49,080
Speaker 2: in that movie. And it's a fantasy, like made up

744
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:51,280
Speaker 2: a role, Like.

745
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 3: Just like how they didn't want they didn't one time

746
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 3: on Journey Tali to be on what's it called Little Mermaid.

747
00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:59,840
Speaker 3: Then you're like, she's a mermaid, Yes, she can be black.

748
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 2: It's fantasy. And like so they start you see their

749
00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:06,520
Speaker 2: world open up and they start noticing. But it's it

750
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:10,080
Speaker 2: is a level of communication and education. But yeah, I

751
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:14,040
Speaker 2: don't really think it's so much colonialism. Also, depending where

752
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 2: your partner is from, that's a big.

753
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:17,879
Speaker 1: Part and where you're living.

754
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 2: And where you're living, that's a big part of it.

755
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:21,719
Speaker 2: And you know it.

756
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:25,719
Speaker 1: Doesn't because I'm sure interracial relationships in Zimbabwe is.

757
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:32,680
Speaker 2: Different, different, absolutely, absolutely absolutely, and even our parents I

758
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:35,920
Speaker 2: think would struck I know for me would have struggled

759
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 2: a lot more with me being with a white Zimbabwein

760
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:45,440
Speaker 2: being with a check Yes, that would have been a

761
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:46,960
Speaker 2: different conversation entirely.

762
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:50,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, especially if you were rocking up to his farm

763
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:53,000
Speaker 3: or something that would be like.

764
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 1: Say, if.

765
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't get complex, so thank god I don't

766
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,240
Speaker 2: have to have that conversation because wow, what.

767
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 3: Actually if someone has and someone is please get back

768
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:09,399
Speaker 3: to us, let.

769
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:10,080
Speaker 2: Us know how you do.

770
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:11,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, let us know.

771
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:15,480
Speaker 3: You know, Rimbiya and I talk about a lot of

772
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:18,520
Speaker 3: different topics, most of them obviously all of them pertaining

773
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:21,000
Speaker 3: to our lives and some stuff that we just randomly

774
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:24,160
Speaker 3: think about, and domestic violence was something that was very

775
00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:27,360
Speaker 3: close to our hearts and we took our time with that. Obviously,

776
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:29,359
Speaker 3: we didn't come out of the gate season one talking

777
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:31,560
Speaker 3: about it because you wanted to make sure we were

778
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:35,239
Speaker 3: coming from an authentic and real space, and also we'd

779
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:38,840
Speaker 3: had enough of a platform to have such a difficult topic,

780
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:43,160
Speaker 3: you know, to talk about it, but why do you

781
00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:46,720
Speaker 3: think when we dropped this episode, a lot of people

782
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:49,839
Speaker 3: were like, you should have professionals, you should have this,

783
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:52,800
Speaker 3: you should have that, Like they were trying to like almost.

784
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:55,280
Speaker 1: Control the narrative of our episode.

785
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:57,839
Speaker 3: And I mean, of course we always we we are

786
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 3: big supporters of therapy, were big support us as psychologists,

787
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:04,359
Speaker 3: psychiatrists and actual experts. But at the same time, our

788
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 3: podcast is also built on a conversation between friends, between

789
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:11,719
Speaker 3: all all of us you are listening to to talk

790
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 3: about these issues, and I felt like, why do you

791
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:19,160
Speaker 3: think this episode a lot of people felt professionals were

792
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:20,400
Speaker 3: needed to speak.

793
00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:21,759
Speaker 1: On it and not just ourselves.

794
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:25,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was very, very evident, and we didn't see

795
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:28,680
Speaker 2: this happen when we had our mental health episode either.

796
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:33,280
Speaker 2: And similarly, we shared a lot. We shared a lot

797
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:37,280
Speaker 2: of resources for around domestic violence and referenced a number

798
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:43,200
Speaker 2: of articles. I think because people are still really intellectualizing

799
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 2: the idea of domestic violence you don't want, I think

800
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:53,840
Speaker 2: it's easier to talk about it, just like I compare

801
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:57,920
Speaker 2: it to church and religion and how people actually intellectualize.

802
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 2: You become a good person and use biblical terminology to whatever,

803
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:05,640
Speaker 2: but not really do that hard work. Similarly, you feel

804
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:09,560
Speaker 2: like with domestic violence, it's easier to intellectualize the conversation

805
00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 2: instead of saying, we have a problem. You know, Zimbabwe

806
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:17,160
Speaker 2: has a problem, our society has a problem, and what

807
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:21,320
Speaker 2: families our families have problems, What role am I playing,

808
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 2: How am I involved or disassociating myself or a witness

809
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:32,720
Speaker 2: to but not really you know, doing anything to change

810
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:38,200
Speaker 2: the course of this issue. So I really feel that

811
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:41,360
Speaker 2: maybe that's why it came that way. I don't know

812
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:43,719
Speaker 2: if someone coming on to say and I think it's

813
00:43:43,719 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 2: great to have experts speak on topics, don't get me wrong,

814
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:49,839
Speaker 2: But I don't know if hearing someone else say this

815
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:52,760
Speaker 2: is how you're supposed to do and handle it. Maybe

816
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:57,319
Speaker 2: because it's a very complex issue and being in the

817
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 2: in the shoes of a victim need to have good

818
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:05,720
Speaker 2: you know, counsel on actionable steps to take when experiencing.

819
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:09,640
Speaker 2: Maybe that's why there was a quest for experts to

820
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 2: come on here. But just as you said, we don't

821
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:16,840
Speaker 2: talk about conversations because we are experts. We talk about

822
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:22,000
Speaker 2: it because we are trying to navigate life. And saying hey, guys,

823
00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:24,840
Speaker 2: have you seen that too, or what's going on? Or

824
00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 2: can we do a little better here? I don't know,

825
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 2: that's how I see it.

826
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:31,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, And our take was also not just based on victims,

827
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:35,360
Speaker 3: because obviously we've got some perpetrators listening to this podcast.

828
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 3: Just by chance, you know, with however many downloads we have,

829
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,719
Speaker 3: there will be someone who's been a perpetrator.

830
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:43,680
Speaker 1: Yes, you know.

831
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,480
Speaker 3: So it's also like, okay, how do they also not

832
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:49,960
Speaker 3: to excuse their behavior, but how do they also navigate life?

833
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:50,279
Speaker 1: You know?

834
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:55,799
Speaker 3: So there was more a questioning on in and around. Yeah,

835
00:44:56,239 --> 00:44:57,840
Speaker 3: I just definitely didn't expect that.

836
00:44:57,920 --> 00:44:58,799
Speaker 1: I think I was a.

837
00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:02,520
Speaker 3: Bit like, oh, okay, as you said, mental health didn't

838
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:05,760
Speaker 3: have that, and all these other topics we've had didn't

839
00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:09,440
Speaker 3: have that. But I think people were like almost like, oh,

840
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:13,360
Speaker 3: we're not gonna we need advice from a otherwise.

841
00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:16,799
Speaker 1: But what do you think? That was pretty much how.

842
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:20,480
Speaker 2: People also don't realize we did mention that, you know,

843
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:25,359
Speaker 2: at least I mentioned I have been I've experienced and

844
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:29,279
Speaker 2: seen domestic violence around me, and I don't really think

845
00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:33,560
Speaker 2: people maybe because I didn't share the exact details so

846
00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:37,360
Speaker 2: they don't see me as someone who's been affected. But

847
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 2: like if you think about someone who's affected by something,

848
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:42,920
Speaker 2: it's okay to give someone a platform to have that

849
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:49,440
Speaker 2: conversation for themselves, you know. So I think maybe they

850
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 2: don't see us as having any experience or having any

851
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:55,200
Speaker 2: do you know what I'm saying? Yeah?

852
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:57,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, where you come from?

853
00:45:57,280 --> 00:46:00,400
Speaker 2: Something that happens? Oh did you see? Why would you know?

854
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:03,480
Speaker 2: So I think that may also have a little bit.

855
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:07,280
Speaker 3: But the scary thing is rumby everyone has had experience

856
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:10,719
Speaker 3: of domestic violence. We all got that uncle, we all

857
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 3: got that friend, we.

858
00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:13,120
Speaker 1: All got that.

859
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:15,560
Speaker 2: Maybe people don't see it as a reason to feel

860
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:19,040
Speaker 2: a way about it. Do you understand it's not you

861
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:19,600
Speaker 2: get what I mean?

862
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:21,760
Speaker 1: But it's like, yeah, but it's not personally affected.

863
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 2: Yeah.

864
00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:26,319
Speaker 1: And then also in those scenarios, how are you meant

865
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:26,720
Speaker 1: to act?

866
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:27,560
Speaker 2: Yes?

867
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:29,400
Speaker 1: You know if your brothers just watch.

868
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:33,080
Speaker 3: Your sister in lawd do you just watch? Do you encourage?

869
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:35,080
Speaker 3: Do you pull them apart?

870
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:38,760
Speaker 1: Do you Yeah? So it's like we won't know unless

871
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:41,800
Speaker 1: we question ourselves and think what should we do? What

872
00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:44,239
Speaker 1: ought we do about this?

873
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:47,400
Speaker 2: Or maybe because it's violence, and then it's like safety.

874
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:49,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe do.

875
00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:52,920
Speaker 2: You understand like it can be tricky to try and

876
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:54,759
Speaker 2: just share our opinion when it's like, you don't know

877
00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 2: how dangerous the situation is. So yeah, perhaps, yes, I

878
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:01,600
Speaker 2: that yeah, you know.

879
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:04,520
Speaker 3: But one thing I loved is it drove conversation, which

880
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:08,160
Speaker 3: again is the whole premise of our podcast that like,

881
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,120
Speaker 3: take a moment, think about it. If you were going

882
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:15,319
Speaker 3: to think about domestic violence, you're gonna think about it today, yes,

883
00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:20,480
Speaker 3: you know, and form an opinion in some whatever way.

884
00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:27,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay. And then African parenting this is also juicy.

885
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:31,279
Speaker 2: That's interesting comments come in. Is expecting something from your

886
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:38,840
Speaker 2: children quite normal? Why? More so in African Asian communities?

887
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:39,239
Speaker 3: For me?

888
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:41,719
Speaker 1: In expectations to not go hand in hand.

889
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:45,920
Speaker 2: A bit of a touchy subject.

890
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:49,799
Speaker 3: I'm gonna sign now you shouldn't be expecting nothing.

891
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:53,239
Speaker 2: But some people are like people are like, oh, but

892
00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:57,120
Speaker 2: you're ungrateful for what your family did and the sacrifice.

893
00:47:57,160 --> 00:47:59,000
Speaker 2: I'm like, but did I choose to be born? Like?

894
00:47:59,080 --> 00:47:59,719
Speaker 1: Did I choose?

895
00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:05,200
Speaker 2: See, you're grateful to be here at all? Yeah, but

896
00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:06,480
Speaker 2: whose choice was it?

897
00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:06,879
Speaker 1: Yeah?

898
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:09,279
Speaker 3: I think for me and why most as well in

899
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:12,960
Speaker 3: African or Asian communities is because children are seen as

900
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:13,480
Speaker 3: an asset.

901
00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:15,960
Speaker 1: Yes, you know, they're not seen as children.

902
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:20,279
Speaker 3: You know, there's an ownership that's a bit elevated, you know,

903
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:23,359
Speaker 3: And maybe this actually does come down to colonialism. I'm

904
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:25,759
Speaker 3: sorry to bring it up again, but maybe back in

905
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:28,320
Speaker 3: the day, when we didn't have anything to our names,

906
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:32,399
Speaker 3: weren't allowed to have anything to our name, the only

907
00:48:32,440 --> 00:48:33,280
Speaker 3: thing we could.

908
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:34,680
Speaker 2: Own is our children.

909
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:37,320
Speaker 3: You know, if I couldn't go and get alone, I

910
00:48:37,360 --> 00:48:39,440
Speaker 3: couldn't get get a planned, I couldn't go and get

911
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:43,040
Speaker 3: a car, all these things that maybe now we get

912
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:46,719
Speaker 3: without even thinking about. You could even vote at some point,

913
00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. So I think perhaps it's

914
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:54,160
Speaker 3: the only thing we took ownership of, and also we

915
00:48:54,239 --> 00:48:57,200
Speaker 3: took pride in like, you know, someone as like eight kids.

916
00:48:57,200 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 3: They could be like I got eight kids and said

917
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:02,680
Speaker 3: with the chest, you know, like more than someone has

918
00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:07,040
Speaker 3: one kid or no kids. So perhaps because it came

919
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:09,560
Speaker 3: from that, maybe then we just carried that on and

920
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:13,440
Speaker 3: didn't get rid of it as times became better, because

921
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:17,280
Speaker 3: there really is an ownership thing. And then the ownership

922
00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:20,080
Speaker 3: then drives the expectations because when you own something and

923
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:23,000
Speaker 3: it's yours, you expect to perform right when you buy

924
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,520
Speaker 3: a car, you don't expect to break down the next day.

925
00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:28,720
Speaker 3: You expect to go a to B and travel around.

926
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:32,160
Speaker 3: And you know, so when your kid is you know,

927
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:37,200
Speaker 3: something you think you own, then their time is yours,

928
00:49:37,719 --> 00:49:41,920
Speaker 3: Their dreams are yours. They're once and wishes and desires

929
00:49:42,880 --> 00:49:45,640
Speaker 3: are meant to have your stamp on them.

930
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:47,919
Speaker 1: And I think it does come out that I think

931
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:48,520
Speaker 1: about it.

932
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:53,479
Speaker 3: Colston did a number one that's men, because it did.

933
00:49:54,239 --> 00:49:58,160
Speaker 2: And the children become a retirement policy, oh yes, as.

934
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:01,440
Speaker 1: Well a point of pride.

935
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:04,160
Speaker 3: You know, my dad, my dad or sorry, my daughter

936
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:07,440
Speaker 3: is a doctor you know, or a lawyer.

937
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:11,920
Speaker 1: You know. Look at me, I made it, you know.

938
00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:20,520
Speaker 2: Yeah it makes me makes me weak, Yeah.

939
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 1: It really Yeah, it makes me weak.

940
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:25,640
Speaker 3: And obviously you can see the touchy subject are both

941
00:50:25,680 --> 00:50:27,240
Speaker 3: like oh yeah, no expectations.

942
00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 1: But with gender roles, do you.

943
00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:35,640
Speaker 3: Ever really ever see the day that women will be

944
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:40,160
Speaker 3: treated as equal to men and not equal like you?

945
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:44,759
Speaker 3: Yeah not like ya did the exact same, but just.

946
00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:47,279
Speaker 1: Or do you think they'll always be.

947
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:53,399
Speaker 2: That respected equally given the room to Yeah, yes, it's

948
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:54,400
Speaker 2: not in our lifetime.

949
00:50:57,520 --> 00:50:59,360
Speaker 1: Girl, That is sad.

950
00:51:00,239 --> 00:51:02,440
Speaker 2: I don't even want a sugarcoat I'm not gonna sit

951
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:03,960
Speaker 2: here and try and be like, oh my gosh, we

952
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:08,800
Speaker 2: can absolutely, of course, we try and move the needle forward.

953
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:12,960
Speaker 2: And you know, but I don't think so I don't.

954
00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:14,319
Speaker 1: And why do you think not?

955
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:20,000
Speaker 2: I think because it's something I've said a couple of times.

956
00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:27,040
Speaker 2: It's because this patriarchy and men being above women serves

957
00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 2: the men and when if men, because we've discussed before

958
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:35,000
Speaker 2: that women uphold the patriarchy for the most part, all

959
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:40,040
Speaker 2: the women anties what a and men don't do anything

960
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:44,839
Speaker 2: to correct it. They just thrive off until men are

961
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:52,759
Speaker 2: allies against sort of the the oppression of women or

962
00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:57,640
Speaker 2: kind of the devaluing of women. Until they respect women

963
00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:01,560
Speaker 2: equally as humans and give us the space to be,

964
00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:04,799
Speaker 2: we will not. So as long as it is serving them,

965
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:07,120
Speaker 2: it's going to be very hard. It's like you, man,

966
00:52:07,239 --> 00:52:11,800
Speaker 2: if it's like you have certain perks, life is good.

967
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:15,080
Speaker 2: Are you gonna like willingly be like, oh, I have

968
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:18,480
Speaker 2: this perk, but like you should probably give half of

969
00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:23,080
Speaker 2: it to this other person. No, you you like serving me?

970
00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:23,799
Speaker 2: Life's good?

971
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:24,319
Speaker 3: Yeah?

972
00:52:25,239 --> 00:52:32,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think true. Yeah, And moving on to religion,

973
00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:38,800
Speaker 2: what are your thoughts on false prophets? Zimbabwe.

974
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:46,160
Speaker 1: Can you see the chocold on my people? Yeah? What

975
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:47,719
Speaker 1: is the false profits?

976
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:48,120
Speaker 2: And what?

977
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:55,840
Speaker 1: You know what who the thing is who says they're false? Zimbabwe?

978
00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:58,600
Speaker 1: Don tell you who said they're false? This is my prophet.

979
00:53:00,320 --> 00:53:00,480
Speaker 1: You know.

980
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:03,760
Speaker 3: Obviously there's that there's been a rise of the typical

981
00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:08,800
Speaker 3: guy who's like doing well seemingly financially, you know, dresses

982
00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:11,680
Speaker 3: a certain way, drives a certain car, has a church

983
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:13,960
Speaker 3: as well, and like all.

984
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:15,560
Speaker 2: Of the stranded by his congregation.

985
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:18,080
Speaker 3: Usually exactly it tells people to come and give him

986
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:20,719
Speaker 3: money and they'll pray and they'll get their wishes granted.

987
00:53:21,239 --> 00:53:23,239
Speaker 3: You know, even got to the point some Zimbabwans would

988
00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:25,480
Speaker 3: go with leaves in the store and they're black profit

989
00:53:25,560 --> 00:53:28,200
Speaker 3: paid said this is going to turn into you know,

990
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:30,279
Speaker 3: into money things like but I.

991
00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:33,160
Speaker 2: Think pray do I think that was exactly?

992
00:53:33,280 --> 00:53:36,960
Speaker 3: Yes, people giving away their their panties, yes, because they

993
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:40,400
Speaker 3: want to like pretty much, this guy's a pedophile.

994
00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:44,240
Speaker 1: And he's like literally just click and yeah.

995
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:48,440
Speaker 3: But like I think, as you can tell our thoughts,

996
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:55,400
Speaker 3: it's trash and I think it's sadly driven by desperation.

997
00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:57,880
Speaker 3: You know, you get to that point where it's like

998
00:53:58,160 --> 00:54:01,560
Speaker 3: I've done everything I can my all to this system,

999
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:04,600
Speaker 3: and I keep getting turned out and spat out and

1000
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:09,279
Speaker 3: nothing's coming. So why not try this? It ends up

1001
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:11,360
Speaker 3: being like, you know, someone buys it, like in the

1002
00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:13,360
Speaker 3: Western world. I think I'm liking it to buying a

1003
00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:15,520
Speaker 3: lot of tickets. People are like, you know, let me

1004
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:17,680
Speaker 3: just try my luck, you know, but no, you know,

1005
00:54:17,760 --> 00:54:22,040
Speaker 3: and that's that that same feeling drive stairs. But I'm

1006
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:27,120
Speaker 3: stereos like, and people are leaving traditional churches to run

1007
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:31,400
Speaker 3: to these kind of churches, and yeah, it is the

1008
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:34,080
Speaker 3: problem in our country. To be honest, we didn't talk

1009
00:54:34,080 --> 00:54:38,440
Speaker 3: about our religion, but it really does have a huge chokehold.

1010
00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:41,400
Speaker 2: It's not a pandemic. What's it called epidemic, you know

1011
00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:41,759
Speaker 2: what I mean?

1012
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:44,600
Speaker 1: Like endemic. Yeah, yeah, it's happening.

1013
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:48,760
Speaker 2: Don't quote us, guys, we don't know. But absolutely it's

1014
00:54:48,800 --> 00:54:51,280
Speaker 2: a huge, huge, huge, huge problem.

1015
00:54:51,680 --> 00:54:54,279
Speaker 1: Mm hmm yeah yeah, yeah.

1016
00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:56,400
Speaker 3: And I think South Africa as it as well, like

1017
00:54:56,960 --> 00:55:00,960
Speaker 3: it tends to happen and like a lot of Africa nations.

1018
00:55:00,719 --> 00:55:01,919
Speaker 2: And Third World.

1019
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:09,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like which part which which profit is of

1020
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:12,280
Speaker 3: the month because there's always somebody.

1021
00:55:11,800 --> 00:55:16,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, even Nigeria, I think, Yeah, yeah, people travel. People

1022
00:55:16,440 --> 00:55:19,720
Speaker 2: be traveling from Zoom to go to Nigeria. These promise

1023
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:23,560
Speaker 2: travel from wherever to come to Yeah, a serious business.

1024
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:25,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, it really, And I think that's the thing. It's

1025
00:55:25,880 --> 00:55:26,520
Speaker 1: a business.

1026
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:29,279
Speaker 3: And I think people who are outside of it see

1027
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:32,120
Speaker 3: it so clearly, but people who are it's the best

1028
00:55:32,160 --> 00:55:32,800
Speaker 3: way to like in.

1029
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:35,680
Speaker 1: It is like a cult, you know, yes, you know,

1030
00:55:35,840 --> 00:55:36,760
Speaker 1: like really.

1031
00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:39,719
Speaker 2: I won't name names, but our name names like Hillsong,

1032
00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:45,600
Speaker 2: like that's like the more sort of palatable elevation version

1033
00:55:45,719 --> 00:55:47,759
Speaker 2: and I have y'all. I love me some Hillsong music.

1034
00:55:47,840 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 2: Don't don't come from my neck. I love it, but

1035
00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:53,120
Speaker 2: like how people see it from the outside world and

1036
00:55:53,200 --> 00:55:57,359
Speaker 2: like the true like really like invested people away. It's

1037
00:55:57,360 --> 00:55:59,239
Speaker 2: just like yes, the likes you don't need to get

1038
00:55:59,239 --> 00:56:03,040
Speaker 2: married in nineteen it's that, but like time's a trillion

1039
00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:04,040
Speaker 2: like next.

1040
00:56:03,880 --> 00:56:07,360
Speaker 3: Level, Like, yeah, it's so funny you mentioned Hillsong because

1041
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:10,439
Speaker 3: when I moved to Australia, I thought, you know, coming

1042
00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:12,800
Speaker 3: from a very Christian background and then going to school

1043
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:16,120
Speaker 3: because he'llsung music. That's the type of music we used

1044
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:18,200
Speaker 3: to listen to in a script that used to be

1045
00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:21,320
Speaker 3: like the cool Christian music so if you're going away

1046
00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:24,879
Speaker 3: from the Anglican hymns, you'd be going for that when

1047
00:56:24,880 --> 00:56:26,360
Speaker 3: you're a cool teenager.

1048
00:56:27,080 --> 00:56:28,560
Speaker 1: And when I came here, I was like, oh, you know,

1049
00:56:28,680 --> 00:56:30,319
Speaker 1: I'll go to a Hillsong church.

1050
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:32,359
Speaker 3: Or you know, i'll be closer to it. That's where

1051
00:56:32,360 --> 00:56:35,680
Speaker 3: it comes from Australia. The way they like think it's's

1052
00:56:35,680 --> 00:56:38,359
Speaker 3: the tax fav in here, like people do not even

1053
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:41,000
Speaker 3: subscribe and you're like, ah.

1054
00:56:41,280 --> 00:56:44,080
Speaker 2: Oh okay, you know from Hectic pr And.

1055
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:47,960
Speaker 3: I thought it was going to be a national treasure

1056
00:56:48,040 --> 00:56:50,880
Speaker 3: for Australia, like oh my gosh, we've got Hillsong the

1057
00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:55,000
Speaker 3: same way you've got Skippy, you know. But like no,

1058
00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:59,840
Speaker 3: they really don't think of it like that. They really

1059
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:03,080
Speaker 3: think like what like they I think. I told my

1060
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:06,400
Speaker 3: first Australian friend born and bred in Australia about it.

1061
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:09,120
Speaker 1: She was like, hell song, like that's what you.

1062
00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 3: Associate like austract My goodness, so spar removed like yeah,

1063
00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:18,000
Speaker 3: she was like oh my gosh, no, like and she

1064
00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:20,520
Speaker 3: wasn't alone in her thoughts. But it's so funny how

1065
00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:22,760
Speaker 3: you have this perception of countries and then.

1066
00:57:23,680 --> 00:57:28,520
Speaker 2: I love Oceans Goes. It's a good track worships tell

1067
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:32,400
Speaker 2: you that it dumps. Okay, that the basic is great,

1068
00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:36,040
Speaker 2: but I want to say it was good. But they

1069
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:37,240
Speaker 2: are some fernatty.

1070
00:57:37,480 --> 00:57:42,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, and they also do do that like elitists with

1071
00:57:42,640 --> 00:57:46,840
Speaker 3: the cool kids energy. And I also that with this

1072
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:50,960
Speaker 3: one thing because mm hmm yeah, because I think like

1073
00:57:51,080 --> 00:57:53,360
Speaker 3: even like celebrations Center, I said we're not gonna name

1074
00:57:53,400 --> 00:57:56,680
Speaker 3: names were naming, they also had that energy, you know.

1075
00:57:56,800 --> 00:57:58,400
Speaker 1: Like bool kids.

1076
00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:02,560
Speaker 2: Their family is like it's a lab family.

1077
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:07,120
Speaker 3: You know, the family, you know that's that thing.

1078
00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:13,840
Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, let's move come for us, don't come for

1079
00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:14,400
Speaker 2: us please?

1080
00:58:14,560 --> 00:58:19,160
Speaker 3: Yeah with black tax, do you feel you ever would

1081
00:58:19,200 --> 00:58:19,919
Speaker 3: have done enough?

1082
00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:22,920
Speaker 1: Or will you have to provide a family forever?

1083
00:58:24,240 --> 00:58:24,320
Speaker 4: No?

1084
00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:29,800
Speaker 2: And yes, simple like the answer no, yes, it's such

1085
00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:35,960
Speaker 2: a tameo. No and yes no it will never be

1086
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:39,280
Speaker 2: enough ever, ever, ever, And even if you remove the

1087
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:44,080
Speaker 2: conversation from financial, think about anything you do, whether it's

1088
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:48,320
Speaker 2: your education, your grades, whether it's your I don't know,

1089
00:58:48,720 --> 00:58:56,200
Speaker 2: your work, your body, your household, your there's always always

1090
00:58:56,240 --> 00:59:00,760
Speaker 2: a comment. I don't know what it is about our society,

1091
00:59:00,880 --> 00:59:03,800
Speaker 2: but there's always something that is never ever ever going

1092
00:59:03,840 --> 00:59:06,280
Speaker 2: to be enough. You never hear the words you are enough.

1093
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:10,360
Speaker 2: It is enough. Thank you, You've done enough. No so

1094
00:59:10,440 --> 00:59:14,200
Speaker 2: that I don't think ever and will you provide forever?

1095
00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:18,320
Speaker 2: I think so, I don't know what do you think?

1096
00:59:18,920 --> 00:59:19,720
Speaker 1: I think so too.

1097
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:24,120
Speaker 3: I think as long as Zimbabwe remains especially smug, specifically

1098
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:27,800
Speaker 3: remains the way it is with no jobs, higher unemployment,

1099
00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:32,800
Speaker 3: you know, no social security, it has to because how

1100
00:59:32,800 --> 00:59:33,760
Speaker 3: else do people survive?

1101
00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:41,000
Speaker 2: And you almost have to. It's just something you just

1102
00:59:41,120 --> 00:59:44,280
Speaker 2: have to know is part of life and kind of

1103
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:48,040
Speaker 2: shut out, like you can't get too it gets you emotional,

1104
00:59:48,080 --> 00:59:50,800
Speaker 2: but like you have to also remove a piece of

1105
00:59:50,880 --> 00:59:54,440
Speaker 2: your own Oh I wish and just get on with it.

1106
00:59:54,880 --> 00:59:57,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think boundaries that's where boundaries come in.

1107
00:59:58,360 --> 00:59:58,680
Speaker 2: You know.

1108
00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:01,920
Speaker 3: If you know your boundaries are being pushed, yeah, or

1109
01:00:01,920 --> 01:00:04,800
Speaker 3: if you know this is within your boundaries, then operate

1110
01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:05,360
Speaker 3: as such.

1111
01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:06,000
Speaker 2: And you just.

1112
01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:10,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I mean as you so eloquently put.

1113
01:00:10,560 --> 01:00:12,880
Speaker 3: You know, if you're youth in Zimbabwe and you really

1114
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:16,960
Speaker 3: do have a dream, really do have a goal, you know,

1115
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:19,160
Speaker 3: how sad if you can't just because you don't get

1116
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:22,240
Speaker 3: twenty dollars or thirty dollars to push that dream forward,

1117
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:24,640
Speaker 3: you know, so we do have to have a bit

1118
01:00:24,680 --> 01:00:26,960
Speaker 3: of a paid forward until we're on some sort of

1119
01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:30,520
Speaker 3: equal ground or at least standing on our own two feet.

1120
01:00:32,240 --> 01:00:35,240
Speaker 3: So yeah, I think just operating within boundaries is the

1121
01:00:35,280 --> 01:00:38,120
Speaker 3: only way. If it's too much, then take a step back,

1122
01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:39,000
Speaker 3: you know.

1123
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:46,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's tough, though, I will say it's tough, but okay. Motherhood.

1124
01:00:46,480 --> 01:00:49,640
Speaker 2: Why do women not discuss motherhood and all it entails

1125
01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:52,640
Speaker 2: and detail? Why is it such a I didn't realize

1126
01:00:52,680 --> 01:00:56,120
Speaker 2: still I became a mother, you know, Like, why are

1127
01:00:56,120 --> 01:00:58,840
Speaker 2: we still getting shocked at things?

1128
01:00:59,360 --> 01:01:03,520
Speaker 1: Communicate? As you said before, and similar to even we

1129
01:01:03,560 --> 01:01:06,720
Speaker 1: haven't talked about sexuality, but we've kind of hinted at it.

1130
01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:07,439
Speaker 1: Same thing.

1131
01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:12,000
Speaker 3: We don't at the right times. We choose to abstain

1132
01:01:12,760 --> 01:01:17,280
Speaker 3: instead of teach. You know, we choose to trust.

1133
01:01:17,320 --> 01:01:17,400
Speaker 2: Me.

1134
01:01:17,480 --> 01:01:19,760
Speaker 3: If someone came when I was a fifteen, sixteen year

1135
01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:21,920
Speaker 3: old and told me what motherhood was like, what childbirth

1136
01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:26,400
Speaker 3: was like, that is enough contraception for my sure, for sure,

1137
01:01:26,480 --> 01:01:27,320
Speaker 3: you know, but.

1138
01:01:27,360 --> 01:01:29,000
Speaker 1: We don't because we choose. I don't know.

1139
01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:33,000
Speaker 3: There's also this thing Zimbabweans have about like these subjects

1140
01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:35,000
Speaker 3: are too tabooed talk about.

1141
01:01:35,240 --> 01:01:35,520
Speaker 1: You know.

1142
01:01:35,840 --> 01:01:38,440
Speaker 3: We meanwhile, it's like we're all facing motherhood at some

1143
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:39,840
Speaker 3: point if you decide to.

1144
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:43,440
Speaker 1: So why not talk about it early? Why not be

1145
01:01:43,560 --> 01:01:44,320
Speaker 1: open about it?

1146
01:01:44,360 --> 01:01:47,520
Speaker 3: Why not you know, teach girls how good of a

1147
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:50,000
Speaker 3: support network they can provide another girl, even if they're

1148
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:53,200
Speaker 3: not a mother themselves. You know, why not instill that

1149
01:01:53,320 --> 01:01:57,880
Speaker 3: confidence in us earlier rather especially in a collective society

1150
01:01:57,960 --> 01:02:01,360
Speaker 3: like Zimbabwe, where we can always help each other, you know,

1151
01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:05,160
Speaker 3: we can't rely on the social systems or the government

1152
01:02:05,200 --> 01:02:08,400
Speaker 3: systems like the hospitals to help. You know, in Australia

1153
01:02:08,440 --> 01:02:11,320
Speaker 3: you can probably chug along because you know, then the

1154
01:02:11,360 --> 01:02:15,000
Speaker 3: clinic will come check up on you, the you know, hospital,

1155
01:02:15,080 --> 01:02:17,600
Speaker 3: all these things are put in place that even if

1156
01:02:17,640 --> 01:02:19,920
Speaker 3: you don't have family. But in a place like Zoomy,

1157
01:02:19,920 --> 01:02:24,120
Speaker 3: you're like, you almost think, why do we always think abstain,

1158
01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:26,480
Speaker 3: don't even think about it, don't even look at it,

1159
01:02:26,800 --> 01:02:28,480
Speaker 3: and then now when it's time for you to do it.

1160
01:02:28,480 --> 01:02:36,160
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, heah, all this information overload, right? I don't know,

1161
01:02:36,560 --> 01:02:39,560
Speaker 3: I really don't know. I people don't discuss motherhood, you know.

1162
01:02:39,600 --> 01:02:41,880
Speaker 3: I actually asked my sister all this question. I remember

1163
01:02:41,960 --> 01:02:46,280
Speaker 3: she said her mom said, because then you wouldn't do it,

1164
01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:47,320
Speaker 3: because it's so tough.

1165
01:02:47,480 --> 01:02:49,240
Speaker 2: This is true. That's actually smart.

1166
01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:53,080
Speaker 3: But like it's like, okay, I get that, but I

1167
01:02:53,160 --> 01:02:56,840
Speaker 3: also think we need to drive conversation around it.

1168
01:02:57,040 --> 01:02:58,400
Speaker 1: You know, you get people with pitching.

1169
01:02:59,040 --> 01:03:03,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, people PTSD and not recognize that within themselves because

1170
01:03:03,320 --> 01:03:04,800
Speaker 3: they're like, I never heard about this.

1171
01:03:04,920 --> 01:03:05,480
Speaker 1: What do you mean?

1172
01:03:06,120 --> 01:03:08,520
Speaker 3: You know, I feel sad holding my child Like that

1173
01:03:08,720 --> 01:03:11,680
Speaker 3: makes sense, right, Yeah, but if we talked about it people,

1174
01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:13,920
Speaker 3: But oh yeah, I was told to expect this and

1175
01:03:13,920 --> 01:03:15,640
Speaker 3: this is how I can navigate it, this work and

1176
01:03:15,760 --> 01:03:17,280
Speaker 3: reach out to when it happens.

1177
01:03:18,280 --> 01:03:20,480
Speaker 1: So it's just communication. Man.

1178
01:03:20,480 --> 01:03:23,400
Speaker 3: We over communicate on the wrong things and then we

1179
01:03:23,520 --> 01:03:25,200
Speaker 3: undercommunicate on some.

1180
01:03:25,080 --> 01:03:28,320
Speaker 1: Of these things. Yeah, Like it's crazy.

1181
01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:30,800
Speaker 2: Because you know, like I feel like in the Western

1182
01:03:30,840 --> 01:03:34,720
Speaker 2: world they have like mom groups and like you know,

1183
01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:38,080
Speaker 2: like where you can ask questions and like, but like

1184
01:03:38,120 --> 01:03:39,760
Speaker 2: in Simubwey, I never heard of that.

1185
01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:43,200
Speaker 1: And then if you ask, you made to look stupid.

1186
01:03:43,240 --> 01:03:46,680
Speaker 1: I was just You're like, no, that's why I'm asking.

1187
01:03:46,920 --> 01:03:50,760
Speaker 3: So also, don't shoot someone who's getting confident enough to ask.

1188
01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:54,360
Speaker 1: It's okay to look stupid because I am. I don't

1189
01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:58,640
Speaker 1: know what to do, so I don't know. It's such

1190
01:03:58,680 --> 01:03:59,520
Speaker 1: a weird thing.

1191
01:04:00,200 --> 01:04:04,520
Speaker 3: Yeah. Anyway, for our last question, which was our last

1192
01:04:04,560 --> 01:04:07,480
Speaker 3: episode on marriage, and that always.

1193
01:04:07,200 --> 01:04:09,680
Speaker 1: Gets the people going because people got opinions.

1194
01:04:10,480 --> 01:04:15,120
Speaker 3: Marriage is always will you be okay if your children

1195
01:04:15,200 --> 01:04:17,160
Speaker 3: decide not to get married at all?

1196
01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:25,160
Speaker 2: I was thinking about something I think this week or

1197
01:04:25,280 --> 01:04:29,160
Speaker 2: last week, just thinking about am I ready for my

1198
01:04:29,280 --> 01:04:33,120
Speaker 2: children to be whoever they are and to make the

1199
01:04:33,160 --> 01:04:35,240
Speaker 2: decisions of whoever they will be. First, you guys, I'm

1200
01:04:35,280 --> 01:04:38,360
Speaker 2: not pregnant. I do not have children, just to disclaim,

1201
01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:45,520
Speaker 2: but you know, thinking about for example, I think I'm

1202
01:04:45,720 --> 01:04:49,160
Speaker 2: kind of a in the context of where I grew

1203
01:04:49,240 --> 01:04:52,320
Speaker 2: up and the society and my family, they probably think

1204
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:57,959
Speaker 2: I'm a bit like unique, eccentric, slightly in some way,

1205
01:04:57,960 --> 01:05:00,720
Speaker 2: shape or form. And I'm like, I I can't expect

1206
01:05:01,160 --> 01:05:04,080
Speaker 2: now to have a child that is not like me

1207
01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:07,200
Speaker 2: or exactly like me, Like you have to prepare yourself

1208
01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:09,000
Speaker 2: right for a child who might just be like mom

1209
01:05:09,080 --> 01:05:11,400
Speaker 2: is crazy, or child will be like even more so.

1210
01:05:12,120 --> 01:05:16,440
Speaker 2: And I think or between or between something I'm like,

1211
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:19,160
Speaker 2: I hope they'll be like their father and something I'm like,

1212
01:05:19,200 --> 01:05:22,200
Speaker 2: I hope they'll be like me, but you never know

1213
01:05:22,240 --> 01:05:24,520
Speaker 2: how that plays out. And I think it's it's It

1214
01:05:24,600 --> 01:05:28,520
Speaker 2: addresses to this question of I need to be prepared

1215
01:05:28,560 --> 01:05:31,200
Speaker 2: for whatever my children will want to do and to

1216
01:05:31,240 --> 01:05:34,080
Speaker 2: be if they say to me, Mom, I'm not going

1217
01:05:34,200 --> 01:05:38,520
Speaker 2: to get married, or Mom, I want to be with

1218
01:05:39,120 --> 01:05:42,240
Speaker 2: this kind of person. This isn't have a conversation about

1219
01:05:42,240 --> 01:05:45,520
Speaker 2: their sexuality, have a conversation. I need to be prepared

1220
01:05:45,560 --> 01:05:49,400
Speaker 2: for whatever. Yes, the Zim tradition in me is going

1221
01:05:49,440 --> 01:05:52,120
Speaker 2: to be like, ooh, this is different. We never had

1222
01:05:52,240 --> 01:05:55,240
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. But yes, I just realized

1223
01:05:55,280 --> 01:05:57,280
Speaker 2: we're living in a world where you cannot go in

1224
01:05:57,360 --> 01:06:00,840
Speaker 2: thinking that you can control the outcome and what will

1225
01:06:00,840 --> 01:06:03,640
Speaker 2: be of your children. You just need to be ready

1226
01:06:03,760 --> 01:06:09,480
Speaker 2: that anything can happen and just be willing to accept

1227
01:06:09,520 --> 01:06:12,120
Speaker 2: that as long as it's not putting them in jeopardy

1228
01:06:12,440 --> 01:06:15,280
Speaker 2: like their safety. Of course, I can speak and advise

1229
01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:18,400
Speaker 2: as a parent and be like, oh, maybe you know,

1230
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:21,240
Speaker 2: consider this, consider that, but you just have to be

1231
01:06:21,280 --> 01:06:23,480
Speaker 2: ready for whatever. So I'm just gonna be ready for

1232
01:06:23,520 --> 01:06:27,320
Speaker 2: whatever comes. I know you are. That's a good way

1233
01:06:27,360 --> 01:06:31,240
Speaker 2: to so I don't know, maybe I know, I.

1234
01:06:31,600 --> 01:06:32,920
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I agree.

1235
01:06:32,920 --> 01:06:36,000
Speaker 3: And also societies are changing, so you need to be

1236
01:06:36,040 --> 01:06:38,280
Speaker 3: open minded. I mean, in twenty years time, people still

1237
01:06:38,320 --> 01:06:40,040
Speaker 3: be getting married for all, you know, the cost of

1238
01:06:40,080 --> 01:06:41,480
Speaker 3: living crisis will just be crazy.

1239
01:06:41,480 --> 01:06:43,040
Speaker 1: People be like, why are you getting married? No one

1240
01:06:43,120 --> 01:06:43,880
Speaker 1: does that anymore?

1241
01:06:44,440 --> 01:06:48,720
Speaker 3: You know, we sold through COVID the rise of just

1242
01:06:48,760 --> 01:06:53,520
Speaker 3: going to civil ceremonies and court and it's calling it

1243
01:06:53,520 --> 01:06:56,080
Speaker 3: a day, and some people have kept that on because

1244
01:06:56,400 --> 01:07:00,000
Speaker 3: it's affordable. So it might also be at the reason

1245
01:07:00,120 --> 01:07:04,000
Speaker 3: since you know, yeah, I think our world is changing,

1246
01:07:04,400 --> 01:07:08,840
Speaker 3: and your children have obviously changed with it. The way

1247
01:07:08,880 --> 01:07:11,240
Speaker 3: we live the same way. We don't live like our

1248
01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:14,720
Speaker 3: parents lived. We can expect that our kids are.

1249
01:07:15,680 --> 01:07:19,120
Speaker 2: They were like, that's so ancient.

1250
01:07:19,560 --> 01:07:21,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, who gets married anymore?

1251
01:07:21,400 --> 01:07:23,240
Speaker 2: I mean we're already getting a lot of flag from

1252
01:07:23,320 --> 01:07:26,560
Speaker 2: gen Z like, oh my gosh, millennials. I'm just like, yes, right,

1253
01:07:26,720 --> 01:07:31,240
Speaker 2: I'm like aunties, like I know, and I mean I

1254
01:07:31,240 --> 01:07:34,120
Speaker 2: am not young, but like in my mind, I'm like,

1255
01:07:34,160 --> 01:07:34,680
Speaker 2: I'm young.

1256
01:07:34,960 --> 01:07:36,080
Speaker 1: I'm a young auntie.

1257
01:07:37,280 --> 01:07:37,920
Speaker 2: It's wild.

1258
01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:39,240
Speaker 1: I'm the young cool auntie.

1259
01:07:39,240 --> 01:07:45,000
Speaker 2: And why am I now exactly wild? Any Who, we

1260
01:07:45,040 --> 01:07:47,520
Speaker 2: can go on and on, Thank you so much for

1261
01:07:47,600 --> 01:07:51,640
Speaker 2: all the questions that came through. But before we go, Amanda,

1262
01:07:51,680 --> 01:07:54,240
Speaker 2: can you tell us a little bit about our final

1263
01:07:54,600 --> 01:08:00,440
Speaker 2: Zim shot out for season four of it's layered our

1264
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:01,320
Speaker 2: Zim shout outs.

1265
01:08:01,400 --> 01:08:05,040
Speaker 3: Yes, Amanda, our Zim shout out is this is quite

1266
01:08:05,080 --> 01:08:08,760
Speaker 3: different to all the other shout outs we've done before.

1267
01:08:09,240 --> 01:08:13,880
Speaker 3: It's a it's a charity, a foundation called Chosen Foundation.

1268
01:08:14,560 --> 01:08:20,519
Speaker 3: It's founded by a beautiful lady called Taya Higgara. The

1269
01:08:20,600 --> 01:08:23,360
Speaker 3: reason we decide to spotlight this is because we do

1270
01:08:23,439 --> 01:08:28,519
Speaker 3: believe in giving back and we thought, you know, we talk,

1271
01:08:28,840 --> 01:08:30,680
Speaker 3: we can talk a big talk, but we also need

1272
01:08:30,720 --> 01:08:31,559
Speaker 3: to walk the wall.

1273
01:08:31,640 --> 01:08:33,560
Speaker 1: We need to talk with me exactly.

1274
01:08:34,120 --> 01:08:36,920
Speaker 3: We need to uplift our people as best as we can.

1275
01:08:37,360 --> 01:08:39,840
Speaker 3: And it's hard with charities. There's so many out there,

1276
01:08:39,880 --> 01:08:43,080
Speaker 3: it's hard to choose one. But we decided just for

1277
01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:47,080
Speaker 3: this season to focus our eyes on this one called

1278
01:08:47,120 --> 01:08:51,559
Speaker 3: Chosen Foundation. Their instagram is that Chosen with the z

1279
01:08:51,880 --> 01:08:56,520
Speaker 3: so c h O z d N Foundation, I'm gonna foundation.

1280
01:08:58,360 --> 01:08:58,479
Speaker 2: Uh.

1281
01:08:59,040 --> 01:09:02,519
Speaker 3: And we'll also make sure to share their PayPal link

1282
01:09:02,920 --> 01:09:07,519
Speaker 3: for those of you who feel inclined to donate. They

1283
01:09:07,600 --> 01:09:10,920
Speaker 3: run a lot of different initiatives. They have one that

1284
01:09:10,960 --> 01:09:13,960
Speaker 3: they call fill a Backpack, so it's obviously for kids

1285
01:09:14,000 --> 01:09:16,000
Speaker 3: to go to school and they give them, you know,

1286
01:09:16,240 --> 01:09:18,599
Speaker 3: stuff to go to school with, if you know Zimbabwe,

1287
01:09:18,800 --> 01:09:22,880
Speaker 3: sometimes in some of the row areas, especially children even

1288
01:09:22,880 --> 01:09:25,519
Speaker 3: struggle to get you know, pending PayPal to take to school.

1289
01:09:25,960 --> 01:09:28,120
Speaker 3: So there's a lot of different initiatives they run. They

1290
01:09:28,200 --> 01:09:31,599
Speaker 3: also support you know, teen moms, you know, people who

1291
01:09:31,920 --> 01:09:34,280
Speaker 3: who've been sexually abused and then now they have a

1292
01:09:34,360 --> 01:09:38,360
Speaker 3: child because abortion is illegal Zimbabwe, so you can't you know,

1293
01:09:38,479 --> 01:09:40,960
Speaker 3: if you get pregnant because of something like that happening.

1294
01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:42,320
Speaker 1: To you pretty much have to live with it.

1295
01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:45,880
Speaker 3: So you know, there's a lot of different things and

1296
01:09:45,880 --> 01:09:48,880
Speaker 3: I'm sure hopefully you guys are intrigued enough to give

1297
01:09:48,920 --> 01:09:52,200
Speaker 3: them a look and if so, intrigued enough to donate.

1298
01:09:52,479 --> 01:09:56,000
Speaker 1: But we thought it would definitely spot them.

1299
01:09:56,200 --> 01:09:59,400
Speaker 3: Out now, spotlights them now as we close our season.

1300
01:10:00,160 --> 01:10:02,160
Speaker 3: So shout out to Chosen Foundation.

1301
01:10:02,720 --> 01:10:07,400
Speaker 2: Yes, thank you so much, and again thank you to

1302
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:12,400
Speaker 2: all the listeners. We're not gonna name names because it

1303
01:10:12,439 --> 01:10:17,680
Speaker 2: gets tricky we forget or yeah, but you know who

1304
01:10:17,680 --> 01:10:19,800
Speaker 2: you are if you were listening, you know.

1305
01:10:19,800 --> 01:10:21,639
Speaker 1: We love you.

1306
01:10:21,840 --> 01:10:24,360
Speaker 2: We love you. We are so grateful for the community

1307
01:10:24,360 --> 01:10:28,280
Speaker 2: we've developed and grown like we keep growing every time,

1308
01:10:28,439 --> 01:10:31,519
Speaker 2: just like wow, like honestly, we call ourselves a little

1309
01:10:31,560 --> 01:10:35,559
Speaker 2: podcast that could you know it started from start up

1310
01:10:35,640 --> 01:10:36,280
Speaker 2: round the bottom.

1311
01:10:36,280 --> 01:10:38,920
Speaker 3: Now we hear it, okay, but we started from started

1312
01:10:38,920 --> 01:10:39,759
Speaker 3: from a wish.

1313
01:10:39,880 --> 01:10:45,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, now we are exactly so yeah, what a season?

1314
01:10:45,720 --> 01:10:49,519
Speaker 1: What a season? Don't forget to subscribe if you don't

1315
01:10:49,560 --> 01:10:53,000
Speaker 1: already rate us, review us on all the platforms, you

1316
01:10:53,120 --> 01:10:55,599
Speaker 1: listen to us on those things keep.

1317
01:10:55,479 --> 01:10:59,560
Speaker 3: Us going, So we would definitely appreciate it if you

1318
01:10:59,560 --> 01:11:00,439
Speaker 3: could take the time.

1319
01:11:01,080 --> 01:11:06,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, and we will be back for season five.

1320
01:11:08,479 --> 01:11:12,680
Speaker 1: Ye crazy to me, like yeah, like.

1321
01:11:12,680 --> 01:11:15,320
Speaker 2: Honestly, sometimes like when did we do one, two, three?

1322
01:11:15,560 --> 01:11:18,120
Speaker 3: Like I know, all right, Like even when we're going

1323
01:11:18,160 --> 01:11:20,559
Speaker 3: through all the questions you've been had over the seasons,

1324
01:11:20,560 --> 01:11:21,559
Speaker 3: like oh my gosh.

1325
01:11:21,360 --> 01:11:22,520
Speaker 1: There's so many episodes.

1326
01:11:22,680 --> 01:11:25,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, great.

1327
01:11:25,439 --> 01:11:28,080
Speaker 3: Thank you to everyone. Thank you to every single download,

1328
01:11:28,120 --> 01:11:30,000
Speaker 3: every single feed, but every single thing.

1329
01:11:30,160 --> 01:11:30,719
Speaker 2: We love.

1330
01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:34,280
Speaker 1: It keeps just going. And shout out to you.

1331
01:11:35,120 --> 01:11:37,920
Speaker 2: I will just get you a little shout out to

1332
01:11:37,920 --> 01:11:43,160
Speaker 2: Tom and myself because they have been so supportive and understanding,

1333
01:11:43,680 --> 01:11:48,840
Speaker 2: you know, and definitely recording scheduling and all that. It's crazy,

1334
01:11:49,000 --> 01:11:51,760
Speaker 2: and shout out to them.

1335
01:11:52,040 --> 01:11:58,040
Speaker 1: We appreciate you, appreciate you all right, thank you so much, love,

1336
01:11:58,439 --> 01:11:59,839
Speaker 1: thank you so much, Roomby.

1337
01:12:00,280 --> 01:12:03,080
Speaker 3: I love this as always, I love you as always,

1338
01:12:03,320 --> 01:12:04,639
Speaker 3: and catch you next season.

1339
01:12:04,720 --> 01:12:06,360
Speaker 1: Guys, we're gonna go and take a long nap.

1340
01:12:06,439 --> 01:12:09,799
Speaker 2: Yere, we just sleep. We've been working, we'll be working.

1341
01:12:10,040 --> 01:12:21,160
Speaker 2: I'm just love you. Cheers everybody, bye it.

1342
01:12:21,439 --> 01:12:26,720
Speaker 1: We'll use your hand, we will tear you. Lack a

1343
01:12:26,920 --> 01:12:27,799
Speaker 1: purple talk