Speaker 1: Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Speaker 1: Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We
Speaker 1: pay our respect to their elders past and present and
Speaker 1: extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander
Speaker 1: peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of
Speaker 1: the Aurora Nation.
Speaker 2: Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 2: I'm Laura, I'm Brittany i' and this is our radio show.
Speaker 2: It is the Pickup, which we record every week every
Speaker 2: Monday to Friday, and then we take the best bits,
Speaker 2: we packed it all down and we stick it here
Speaker 2: for you.
Speaker 3: Mitch.
Speaker 1: You brought this week a story that you tell that
Speaker 1: is very, very funny, but it probably shouldn't be funny,
Speaker 1: but the way you tackle it is funny.
Speaker 2: It's about big boy problems, right.
Speaker 4: Well, I thought you were going to say you brought
Speaker 4: a barbecue chicken into the studio and ate it with
Speaker 4: a spoon.
Speaker 2: You did, and that. Yeah, Well, I mean they are
Speaker 2: kind of correlated.
Speaker 4: They go hand in hand. My hands are really now
Speaker 4: I'm a big boy and I'm proud of it. I'm
Speaker 4: you know a chubby boy, and I'm oversized and I'm overweight,
Speaker 4: and I'm fine with it. I'm six foot three. However,
Speaker 4: there are things that have happened to me in my
Speaker 4: life being a bigger person that don't happen to my
Speaker 4: skinny friends. And it's true things that I've I've clocked
Speaker 4: and I've noticed, I've gone, hold on, this isn't happening
Speaker 4: to my partner who's slim.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because we have true fat phobia with an Australian society,
Speaker 2: whole other level of something that we need to unpack.
Speaker 2: I mean, you have a very good sense of humor
Speaker 2: about it, Mitch, But I also love that when you
Speaker 2: talk about it, you're like, this is not a problem
Speaker 2: for me, and I am very happy and comfortably in
Speaker 2: my skin, but the problem seems to be with everybody
Speaker 2: else Totally.
Speaker 1: It's good that you tell this story because it does
Speaker 1: make I think it'll make other people think about maybe
Speaker 1: what they're saying or their actions, because I think a
Speaker 1: lot of people probably don't realize I know that there
Speaker 1: were some of the things that you were saying that
Speaker 1: have happened to you where I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: hadn't seen that or I probably didn't realize what was
Speaker 1: happening at the time. And it's not about Laura and I,
Speaker 1: but it's about things that happened to you in society.
Speaker 1: But I think I think you tackled it really well.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't have tackled it. I'm not really athletic. Probably
Speaker 4: probably you ran at it okay.
Speaker 2: Well, something I wanted to talk about is I went
Speaker 2: and had a beauty treatment done recently. I went to
Speaker 2: a skin specialist. I don't know if you can call
Speaker 2: her a skin specialist. Actually she's a beautician, and she
Speaker 2: insulted me into getting another treatment done. So I got
Speaker 2: my face dermoplaned and is I was called Derma plain,
Speaker 2: derma blade, and it basically I had my face shaved.
Speaker 2: And I want to know why women can't just shave
Speaker 2: their face and why I've got a pay.
Speaker 4: How much did you pay?
Speaker 1: The fancy name is demoplane, but like the colloquialism is
Speaker 1: you shaved your.
Speaker 2: Face And the even more colloquial term is just by
Speaker 2: a Gillette razor and it all be fine?
Speaker 4: Can you stop stroking your chin too? As she tells
Speaker 4: this story, she strokes it like a wizard.
Speaker 2: Like I'm getting Dumbledore vibes. Okay, I have this one.
Speaker 4: This is this.
Speaker 2: We don't cover this in the show, but I get
Speaker 2: an exclusive. Yeah, I will put money on the fact
Speaker 2: bringing your particularly hair free. So good for you. But
Speaker 2: I would say that ninety percent of women have a
Speaker 2: rogue hair on their face somewhere that they pluck out.
Speaker 2: I've got two on my chin that they pluck out
Speaker 2: and it comes back in the same spot. It's not
Speaker 2: out of a mole. It's just a hair that just
Speaker 2: for some reason just sprouted out of my shin.
Speaker 4: I've got one on my e lobe. You're a good point.
Speaker 1: I genuinely like, I'm not saying this to rub it
Speaker 1: in because there's nothing wrong with hair on the face.
Speaker 1: But I am not a hairy person, even though my
Speaker 1: mumm is a Greek, so I just got obviously the
Speaker 1: dad's side. But I don't think I have one hair
Speaker 1: on my face and I never have.
Speaker 2: Well, you know what they're coming for you. That's what
Speaker 2: age does to you. No, I think I'm just good.
Speaker 2: That's thinning. If anything, it's it thins on top and
Speaker 2: flourishes below.
Speaker 5: Well.
Speaker 1: I had an event for a week. I had a
Speaker 1: running with a neighbor, so those playing at home. No,
Speaker 1: I've had problems with my neighbors before. My neighbor above me,
Speaker 1: the Russian lady. She waters me when I go outside,
Speaker 1: like she put the hose on me. She's put the
Speaker 1: hose on Mitch. She's put the hose on Laura. She
Speaker 1: I don't know why. She pretends she doesn't know she's
Speaker 1: doing it, but she knows she's doing it. But now
Speaker 1: I've had another running with another neighbor because I've been
Speaker 1: stealing stuff.
Speaker 2: Yes, Stanley, this one is actually your fault.
Speaker 4: It's not.
Speaker 1: I'm completely is It's completely me like hands up. And
Speaker 1: it was the most awkward running that I've ever had.
Speaker 1: All right, well, all that and so much more. Let's
Speaker 1: get into the show.
Speaker 4: Andy joins us. Now, Hello, Andy, welcome to the show mates.
Speaker 5: Hello guys, how are you? Congrats on the show?
Speaker 2: Oh thanks, and he also congrats to you. I hear
Speaker 2: you have the best toush in Australia.
Speaker 5: Ah, yes, well I wouldn't say in Australia. I just
Speaker 5: beat Woody out. I think it's a very low bar.
Speaker 5: It was just the.
Speaker 2: Best in that studio where there was four people.
Speaker 1: Well they haven't come up against Mitch Chury's.
Speaker 4: Toursh yet need all the staff they can get.
Speaker 5: Upon reflection, though Will held my bottom for a long
Speaker 5: a long time, I don't blame him.
Speaker 2: It's not very often that you get to hold Andy
Speaker 2: Lee's to come on.
Speaker 5: That's true. It used to be anyone's. Now Beck has
Speaker 5: a problem with that.
Speaker 2: Well. Speaking of Beck, and also that it is Valentine's
Speaker 2: Day tomorrow, what are you doing to make it special?
Speaker 2: Are you someone who celebrates Valentine's Day?
Speaker 5: Or can I get on the opposite. I don't believe
Speaker 5: in the whole Valentine's Bay thing whatsoever. I've learned the
Speaker 5: hard way that Beck does, even if he says she doesn't. Oh,
Speaker 5: I had five years of checking that and her going no,
Speaker 5: it's fine, it's it's a silly day. We don't need that,
Speaker 5: and then her being kind of grumpy with me for
Speaker 5: the entire entire day. But now I've got a trick,
Speaker 5: which is which makes me feel good about it, and
Speaker 5: I think makes Beck feelod about it. If we've kind
Speaker 5: of met in the middle. Is every Valentine's Day and
Speaker 5: the last couple of them. I send the dog a
Speaker 5: big bunch of flowers, and so it rocks up the door.
Speaker 5: It's addressed to Henry the dog. It says, you complete
Speaker 5: me and your perfect et cetera, and please don't show
Speaker 5: Beck you'll get jealous. So Beck gets the flowers. She
Speaker 5: gets a joke that I'm actually doing it for the dog,
Speaker 5: and that way I don't feel as weird about just
Speaker 5: buying flowers my partner on val on Time's Day, because
Speaker 5: I really think it should be. I like, I prefer
Speaker 5: the surprise flowers, like a just cause gifts the romantic.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm I'm currently in an argument with my new
Speaker 1: boyfriend Ben. He lives overseas. I mean an argument about
Speaker 1: who said I love you first? Who said the L
Speaker 1: word out of you?
Speaker 5: And Beck me by a mile did you? And it
Speaker 5: was really awkward. We're actually lying extually, tell and bed
Speaker 5: and I said I love you and she looked at me, paused,
Speaker 5: and then went, she loves me.
Speaker 1: Did she say that?
Speaker 4: I know?
Speaker 5: I said, he's going to say it back.
Speaker 2: She's like, no, How long did it take her to
Speaker 2: say it back?
Speaker 5: I reckon it was a good like six to eight
Speaker 5: weeks later.
Speaker 2: She did.
Speaker 1: Celebrated the moment, like really rubbed salting the wound and
Speaker 1: then didn't give you anything back for six to eight weeks.
Speaker 2: Do you know what that is? Because she won? That's
Speaker 2: what that is. That's the sound of victory.
Speaker 1: I've been trying to win to victory.
Speaker 4: Andy the hundred, he's back tomorrow the Valentine's Day Special.
Speaker 4: I believe we're going to do a little round of
Speaker 4: our own here at the pick up now.
Speaker 5: With the fire, Yeah, brand, Okay, you're ready.
Speaker 4: It'll do some dramatic music.
Speaker 5: Okay. What percentage of Australian couples will allow their partner
Speaker 5: to pop a pimple? Actually want them?
Speaker 4: Okay, Laura, looky, I'm going to work.
Speaker 2: I'm going high. Andy, I'm going to go.
Speaker 5: Seventy wow, twenty nine on the fire. It's thirty percent.
Speaker 5: I thought more people.
Speaker 2: Were sickos pimple. No, no, no, we're all we all
Speaker 2: want to pop, but we don't want to be popped.
Speaker 4: One point to Laura.
Speaker 2: It's important to go deep on these things.
Speaker 5: Go Okay, what about what percentage of Australians boy then
Speaker 5: girls has had laser hair removal in the last twelve
Speaker 5: months In a personal grooving before a big Valentine's Day
Speaker 5: night out.
Speaker 1: I'm a waxer personally, I'm lazy.
Speaker 2: I'll just shave once every six months.
Speaker 4: Yeah, am I the only one in this room it's
Speaker 4: had a laser hair removement?
Speaker 2: No, I had on your back.
Speaker 4: I got it on my back.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm going to go.
Speaker 4: All right, I'm gonna look in eighty.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna once again go low.
Speaker 5: I'm going to say forty eleven percent.
Speaker 1: That is not much or a lot of hairy people
Speaker 1: out there.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 2: I see people are lazy. I know I should have
Speaker 2: gone low.
Speaker 4: It also burns a bit like it's not the most
Speaker 4: comfortable thing in the world laser hair removal. So that
Speaker 4: checks out.
Speaker 2: I did hear bushes back?
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, so I think that you're trying to bring
Speaker 4: it back. Okay, hold on, so britt one, Laura one,
Speaker 4: let's see if we can get a winner here with
Speaker 4: Andy Lee.
Speaker 5: Okay, keeping on the Valentine's Day scen tomorrow. How many
Speaker 5: Australians couples speak baby talk to their part.
Speaker 1: Makes me feel physically viscerally unwell?
Speaker 3: Ya do you mean, like, yeah, I do call that
Speaker 3: bubba though, oh that maybe I count Bubba makes me
Speaker 3: perform him Bubba j I just say hey, Bubba, Yeah,
Speaker 3: MITCHI go first.
Speaker 4: I think twelve percent.
Speaker 2: Hi, I'm going to go with fifty five.
Speaker 1: I'm going to go eighteen percent.
Speaker 4: All right, this is for the win.
Speaker 5: It's twenty percent.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, it's do you speak baby talk to bet?
Speaker 5: No, not at all, A little bit to my dog occasionally.
Speaker 2: Way, what's your lameous baby name that you have for Beck?
Speaker 2: What's your little cute nickname?
Speaker 5: I call Beck Rumpy.
Speaker 2: I'm sure she loves it, grumpy Rumpy.
Speaker 5: A beautiful rump.
Speaker 4: I'm going to say, no, wonder it took her eight
Speaker 4: months to say she loves you with her nickname.
Speaker 2: Were lucky that you didn't get dumpy?
Speaker 4: You can get one hundred tomorrow night. The Valentine's Day
Speaker 4: edition are with Andy Lee nine pm on Channel nine
Speaker 4: after Maps, Thanks and.
Speaker 2: Team.
Speaker 1: I have trust issues at the best of times, and
Speaker 1: I think this could just heighten it. It looks like
Speaker 1: the male contraceptive pill could finally be here. It took
Speaker 1: them long enough get all Humanity.
Speaker 4: But they have been working on one for a while.
Speaker 1: They have been working on one for a while, yes,
Speaker 1: but I don't know how many years ago that they
Speaker 1: did the trials for it. A few men were part
Speaker 1: of the trials, and the reason that sort of halted
Speaker 1: in its tracks was because men were saying, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: getting headaches from it. There are side effects. Hello, welcome
Speaker 1: to the club. But this pill, it's been trialed on
Speaker 1: mice so far and the mines have been rendered infertile
Speaker 1: within thirty minutes. But there is a trick to this,
Speaker 1: So we take pill with women. Sorry, we take the
Speaker 1: pill at the same time of day every day, and
Speaker 1: essentially that should be stopping pregnancies. Men have to take
Speaker 1: this pill within thirty minutes of sex.
Speaker 2: I do think that, you know, when you're the person
Speaker 2: who could get pregnant, you probably need to take a
Speaker 2: bit of the responsibility yourself. Like, I think that being
Speaker 2: just trusting might get you in a situation that you
Speaker 2: don't want to be in, ie pregnant. But why can't
Speaker 2: the women just carry the pill around and half an
Speaker 2: hour before they're gonna you know, do the horizontal dense
Speaker 2: of love be like, but you need to take this
Speaker 2: and they're the ones popping and given out the pills,
Speaker 2: so we can be in control of the distribution.
Speaker 4: Who times they're sexy, time I'm so sorry, nothing worse
Speaker 4: than pop an egg timerer on, pop your pill and
Speaker 4: then we'll jump into bed and what we going to go?
Speaker 1: It does make you think that maybe, well, will it
Speaker 1: increase the foreplay for half an hour before sex?
Speaker 4: God? Yeah, I agree?
Speaker 1: Or I feel like, in Laura's case, should be like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm working, come back in half an hour when we
Speaker 1: don't get extra half an hour time. But I don't
Speaker 1: know if I would ever And not that it's men
Speaker 1: I'm joking about that. I just don't know if I
Speaker 1: would ever completely put that in someone else's hand, that
Speaker 1: trusting someone else's hands, because the guy to be like, sure,
Speaker 1: I took that half an hour ago.
Speaker 2: No, but you know what, Okay, when you say you
Speaker 2: wouldn't trust it, you're speaking from the perspective of someone
Speaker 2: who at the time would have been single and dating.
Speaker 2: But save for me, in a you know, commit a
Speaker 2: relationship with my husband Mattie J the responsibility of a
Speaker 2: contraception has always fallen on to me in our relationship.
Speaker 2: So when we finish having kids, matt He's going to
Speaker 2: go and have a vasectomy. But this would be an option.
Speaker 2: This would mean that it doesn't just the full responsibility
Speaker 2: doesn't fall onto me. And I think sometimes when we
Speaker 2: think about contraception, we only look at it from the single,
Speaker 2: going out and dating perspective. But there's loads of people
Speaker 2: in relationships who already have kids who also need to
Speaker 2: worry about this stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but Laura, we know your husband, Matty Jay, is
Speaker 1: dying for more kids.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: Can I just say if we can't get straight men
Speaker 4: to wash their asses, I don't think we're going to
Speaker 4: get them to take a pill dating in and day out. Sorry,
Speaker 4: but that's my take, and I stand.
Speaker 2: I had a facial the other day and as I
Speaker 2: was there, she told me, in not such nice words,
Speaker 2: that I have a bit of a hairy face. Now
Speaker 2: she caught it peach fuzz. She said, oh, you've got
Speaker 2: a bit of peach fuzz. But I know what she meant.
Speaker 2: She was saying that I have a hairy fang.
Speaker 1: I thought peach fuzz was butt hair.
Speaker 2: Well, it's on my face, you have butt hair on
Speaker 2: your feet. I think peach fuzz refers to like the
Speaker 2: little wispy, whitey like light colored hair that you can't
Speaker 2: get laser because the lasers only attracted to like dark hair.
Speaker 2: So I have like quite a bit. I have Italian heritage.
Speaker 2: I'm not ashamed to say it. You know, if you
Speaker 2: look in the right direction, I've got a bit of
Speaker 2: a mustache and I'm okay with that. But she said
Speaker 2: it to me and it got me really self conscious.
Speaker 2: And then she recommended that I have a facial done.
Speaker 2: And basically you lay there, they put this like serum
Speaker 2: all over your face. It's very relaxing, and then they
Speaker 2: get a scalpel out and they scrape the scalpel across
Speaker 2: your skin like like you know, like diagonally along the skin.
Speaker 2: And she's trying to convince me that it's really great
Speaker 2: for exfoliation. They're getting all the dead skin cells off. Guys,
Speaker 2: I paid two hundred dollars to have my face shaved
Speaker 2: at a beautition.
Speaker 1: I okay, hang on, I haven't had it. I don't
Speaker 1: have a hair and face, but I have had duma
Speaker 1: planning before. I had it for an exfoliation, so it
Speaker 1: was nothing about the hair. My skin felt pretty good after.
Speaker 2: It, Okay. So she shows me like because she's doing it,
Speaker 2: she's doing like the scrape, scrape, scrape, and then she's
Speaker 2: wiping it and scrape scrapes grape barber.
Speaker 4: First of all, can were you in a westfield right
Speaker 4: in the end of the car park.
Speaker 2: I was at a very like lovely like little facial
Speaker 2: spar that you would go to to go and get
Speaker 2: your skin done, like a skin clinic or whatever it's called. Anyway,
Speaker 2: so she finishes during my whole face and then she
Speaker 2: shows me what looks like a napkin and it's just
Speaker 2: it's just a napkin covered in my facial hair. And
Speaker 2: she's like, look at all the exfoliation we got off.
Speaker 2: And I was like, no, that's my hair, that's my face,
Speaker 2: here's my eyebrow.
Speaker 4: That's my that's my big that's he's that good.
Speaker 2: Here's my question. Surely we can just I can just
Speaker 2: go down to Woolworst and buy a razor and just
Speaker 2: shave my face for two dollars. If it's okay for
Speaker 2: her to do it in a clinic setting. What is
Speaker 2: the big problem with me being a female and then
Speaker 2: just shaving my face.
Speaker 4: Or I could just play on my iPhone some yoga music,
Speaker 4: put on some essential oils, lay you down in this studio.
Speaker 4: I've got a beck in the bathroom here in the
Speaker 4: men's bathroom. I could just give you a quick little
Speaker 4: shave and save you three hundred bucks.
Speaker 2: I lift your arms up to an underarm one.
Speaker 4: You could do it all.
Speaker 2: I could literally start from just below my eyelashes and
Speaker 2: keep going down to my ankles.
Speaker 4: Are you worried it's prickly the laws?
Speaker 2: Yes I am. That's my problem now. I'm so worried
Speaker 2: that when I kiss my husband, Mattie J, that he's
Speaker 2: going to know that I maybe I have stupple. I
Speaker 2: want to make out with me?
Speaker 4: Yeah, get up, you get up, give her a big
Speaker 4: kick over all? Right, Yeah, you come to me. I
Speaker 4: don't kiss on the cheek.
Speaker 2: Can you feel it a little bit? I can, but
Speaker 2: not here, not at the cheek.
Speaker 1: But when I get closer to the mustache.
Speaker 2: Yes, get just a little chitty, not by the hair
Speaker 2: of my ching ginger.
Speaker 4: You love you no matter how hair. Are you up, ladies?
Speaker 4: If you can't tell I'm a little.
Speaker 1: Stressed, I can tell it's the perspiration on your face.
Speaker 4: That's a pretty stock standard for me, though, right, like
Speaker 4: a slim layer of sweats.
Speaker 1: The touch do get more when you're stressed. But you've
Speaker 1: gone looking at houses, right, because you have to.
Speaker 4: Move Yeah, I got three weeks to move out, and
Speaker 4: I'm in the middle of a rental crisis, and if
Speaker 4: you didn't know, so is the country. Rental listings in
Speaker 4: Australian capital cities are at the lowest they've been since
Speaker 4: February two thousand and three. But we all rent in
Speaker 4: this route.
Speaker 1: I rent yes, and I am currently also looking to
Speaker 1: move like you are, and it has been an absolute nightmare.
Speaker 1: Twenty thirty forty people at a showing.
Speaker 4: So many people line up to go to a viewing.
Speaker 4: You cannot get a house in Sydney, in Melbourne, wherever
Speaker 4: you are, you just cannot get one. The problem is
Speaker 4: people have gotten a bit crafty. I don't know if
Speaker 4: you've seen some listings pop up over social media, but
Speaker 4: there's this man in Sydney. He's been to Spotlight clearly
Speaker 4: and he has curtained off his balcony and he's selling
Speaker 4: it for three hundred dollars.
Speaker 2: Per show me that photo.
Speaker 5: This is it?
Speaker 1: Okay, Oh my god. It is literally a balcony that
Speaker 1: he looks like. It's not carp and he's laid a
Speaker 1: blanket down for carpet, a single bed and curtains.
Speaker 2: That doesn't even look like it could be wind proof.
Speaker 1: This isn't just happening in Sydney, though, This is all
Speaker 1: over Australia. This is happening in Melbourne, This is on
Speaker 1: the Gold Coast, this is everywhere.
Speaker 2: Wait, Mitch, you've got another one here. Landlord three hundred
Speaker 2: dollars room for rent where five G phones and weekday
Speaker 2: visitors are also banned.
Speaker 4: Is that just a prison? They're just describing a prison.
Speaker 4: You know what to bring your conjugal visits every Thursday.
Speaker 2: This picture here looks like it could be Harry Potter
Speaker 2: living under a stair.
Speaker 4: We got. This is the list and this is what
Speaker 4: they've written. Strictly no visitors to the property on weekdays,
Speaker 4: which I think was Ted Bundy's rule as well. Barbecue
Speaker 4: facilities for cooking next to the room if you want
Speaker 4: to cook, Yeah, I'm gonna want to cook in my house.
Speaker 1: A serious question. You guys have seen the kennel I
Speaker 1: built for my dog Delilah. I reckon three hundred dollars
Speaker 1: for that.
Speaker 2: Living it's open.
Speaker 4: Plan, open plans, got a window, natural light, natural.
Speaker 2: Light three hundred bucks also in BONDI so you can
Speaker 2: change the premium. Okay, but there's a serious part to
Speaker 2: this though as well. The fact that people are getting
Speaker 2: so crafty, this do it yourself trying to turn a
Speaker 2: little small space into a bedroom just shows that there
Speaker 2: is so little opportunities out there for affordable rent that
Speaker 2: that's what people are having to turn to totally.
Speaker 4: It actually is really bad. Yesterday I went to an
Speaker 4: open house and the garage connected to the property was
Speaker 4: separate if you wanted it, someone else was renting it out.
Speaker 2: I tell you what. JK.
Speaker 1: Rowling is really onto something hey with putting Harry Potter
Speaker 1: under the steps before a time.
Speaker 4: It's the pick up Friday afternoon around Australia. Welcome everyone, Britt,
Speaker 4: Laura and Mitch Oh thanks to Chemist Warehouse. Great savings
Speaker 4: every day. Now. I've got a bit of an issue
Speaker 4: that I've faced, ladies.
Speaker 3: Just one.
Speaker 4: It's a long list to thick list. I'm a big boy.
Speaker 4: So I'm six foot three and I'm chunky. You know
Speaker 4: I'm a bigger boy. And I'm happy to say that.
Speaker 4: You know I'm fat. It's not a dirty word. You
Speaker 4: can say that you're fat. Things have started happening to
Speaker 4: me that I have noticed aren't happening to my skinny
Speaker 4: friends Like I went to the markets the other day
Speaker 4: with my beautiful boyfriend Hayden, and I'm walking through the markets.
Speaker 4: You maybe get a croissant, maybe a pun at of strawberries,
Speaker 4: maybe sneaky pie, maybe sneak or two. And I'm walking
Speaker 4: down and this vendor is going shirts, get your shirts,
Speaker 4: custom shirts, and that's nice. And he looks me in
Speaker 4: the eyes he goes, oh, don't know your size, buddy
Speaker 4: on you?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Yes, well you like I didn't ask you for a size.
Speaker 1: I didn't even look sideway.
Speaker 4: He didn't even look at you. There's not enough material
Speaker 4: in the world. So you've got a shirt for this fatty.
Speaker 2: You got usher it out of a shop he went in.
Speaker 4: No, it was a market. I was walking down the thoroughfield.
Speaker 4: It was like public school.
Speaker 2: Don't even think about coming in.
Speaker 4: You take up all the material and I'm gonna have
Speaker 4: got a link craft and cut a hole in a blanket.
Speaker 4: You can wear that. So that happened anyway. I was
Speaker 4: on a flight a couple of weeks ago, and I'm
Speaker 4: on the flight and you know how you sit down
Speaker 4: and if we fly so often that you don't think
Speaker 4: about watching the safety procedure. Oh you don't even look up. No,
Speaker 4: So I sat there, seat belt wasn't on, and I
Speaker 4: didn't realize that everyone else had the seat belt on.
Speaker 4: The flight attendant walks up, she goes, I, sir, I'm
Speaker 4: gonna have to get you to put your seat belt on,
Speaker 4: and gets down close. She goes, I'll grab you the
Speaker 4: seat belt extender. My hi, And I said I don't
Speaker 4: need the seat belt extender, and she went, no, worries,
Speaker 4: put the seat built on. She stood there and watched
Speaker 4: me put the seat on and did it, and.
Speaker 1: Did you have to like sucking really harder than try
Speaker 1: and wriggle it around.
Speaker 4: I had a bruise on my button when I got
Speaker 4: off the fight, do your dasky, But it clicked and
Speaker 4: she walked away. You know what's happened when we all
Speaker 4: got vaccinated, Go get vacinated if you're not boosted. But
Speaker 4: we went to the vax hub. Remember they built the
Speaker 4: vax hubs during the pandemic. And I had to get vaccinated.
Speaker 4: And I walk up and I sit down, and she goes, hey,
Speaker 4: how are you sorry? Go good, because let's vaccinate you.
Speaker 4: So I sit down and then she goes, oh, oh,
Speaker 4: one second, sorry.
Speaker 2: Mitch, Betty.
Speaker 4: Get the twelve gage. And it's in the middle of
Speaker 4: the vax hub and everyone's standing there like why is
Speaker 4: this woman yelling? Then Betty wheels over. She wheels over
Speaker 4: like a tent and I go what is Betty doing?
Speaker 4: And I go, sorry, what's happening? She went, sir, what's
Speaker 4: happening here? Straightforward? You got a thick epidermis? Are you
Speaker 4: see you're a big boy. We need to get you
Speaker 4: the twelve guys that will use on horses and armadillos.
Speaker 2: What is not true?
Speaker 4: Sorry, you get the twelve game.
Speaker 2: Probably a horse trenk stand.
Speaker 4: Bare, she injected me, And no joke like you could
Speaker 4: hear a pop because it had to break through my skin.
Speaker 4: Worst part was I was wearing a long sleeved shirt,
Speaker 4: so I was topless because.
Speaker 1: So there I am that damns epidermis.
Speaker 4: This doesn't happen to my beautiful skinny partner. Doesn't happen
Speaker 4: to you girls, Cherry on the cake. Anytime I'm at
Speaker 4: a black tie event or a wedding, are you your wedding,
Speaker 4: Laura Burn.
Speaker 2: Well, that's happened at my wedding.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're all Laura's wedding. Great friends, I witnessed it.
Speaker 4: Would you witness it? Were there? The ceremony had happened.
Speaker 4: It was gorgeous, It was beautiful. We were standing around
Speaker 4: and or dervs at this point or dervs were coming
Speaker 4: out food and starters. Anyway, as I'm standing there talking
Speaker 4: to Britt and the waitresses and they're all blacks, have
Speaker 4: a tray full of the Christini and oysters. They walk
Speaker 4: out of the gates of the kitchen. They see me
Speaker 4: be one for the fatty like they've got roller blades on,
Speaker 4: no roller blade and off.
Speaker 2: I hope you know that there was like an X
Speaker 2: amount of cannopes per person and it wasn't like all
Speaker 2: cannapes and mixtury. It was for each that was it.
Speaker 4: We didn't get that men because we ate them all off.
Speaker 4: And I want that on record. Anyway, if you're a
Speaker 4: big girl, big boy, be proud, doesn't matter. We're special.
Speaker 1: We love your MATERI And do you know what the
Speaker 1: best part was? By default, I got heaps moral dirbs to.
Speaker 4: See it. I'm a good friend to guys, I'm a thief.
Speaker 2: What have you done?
Speaker 1: I have had the most awkward running I've ever had,
Speaker 1: so I either don't know my neighbors or I get
Speaker 1: along with them, right. But I'm not a big person
Speaker 1: that goes and meets the neighbors and gives them cookies
Speaker 1: and knocks and says hello. And I see them in
Speaker 1: the corridor.
Speaker 2: As I wave yeah. And you live in like a
Speaker 2: big apartment building, so you've got quite a few neighbors.
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm in an apartment block, so there's beside me,
Speaker 1: above me.
Speaker 2: I'm ground floor.
Speaker 1: Anyway, I get Hallow Fresh because I hate cooking and
Speaker 1: I don't like going to the shops and shopping, so
Speaker 1: I just want to order it and have it come
Speaker 1: to my house.
Speaker 4: They send all the vegetables they you need.
Speaker 1: I am one person. I don't live with anyone, so
Speaker 1: I'm one person. And I get enough for just me
Speaker 1: and my lunch the next day. And I only get
Speaker 1: four meals a week. I had emptied my Hallowfresh this week,
Speaker 1: and I took the rubbish down to the basement where
Speaker 1: our bins are. When I closed the door behind me
Speaker 1: into the bins, somebody appeared behind me. It was and
Speaker 1: I was locked in, and I was up the back
Speaker 1: against the auto bins and I was like hi, and
Speaker 1: he's like hey, and he had a hallow Fresh box too.
Speaker 1: You get Hallowfresh do? I said, yeah, I do you
Speaker 1: do too?
Speaker 3: Do you?
Speaker 4: He's like yeah?
Speaker 2: How many do you get? And I said, what do
Speaker 2: you mean?
Speaker 1: How many meals a week?
Speaker 2: And he's like yeah, I said four? Ah, how many
Speaker 2: have you been getting?
Speaker 1: I was like six? Seven? The last couple of weeks,
Speaker 1: I've been getting seven meals. I just thought Hallow Fresh
Speaker 1: were doing me as solid and throwing some extra meals
Speaker 1: in it. Within this moment, he said, you've been stealing
Speaker 1: my hallow Fresh.
Speaker 2: Wait, so you've been taking the bigger box each week.
Speaker 1: I looked down at the box. It had his name
Speaker 1: on it.
Speaker 2: I was red handed. I couldn't even lie.
Speaker 1: I had his hallow Fresh box. I've been eating it
Speaker 1: for weeks. Now this gets worse. He is in a relationship.
Speaker 1: He gets enough for two people for seven days. He's
Speaker 1: been getting my boxes because I've been stealing here. So
Speaker 1: he only gets enough for one person for four days,
Speaker 1: but he's got two people and needs them for seven.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 2: Wait, so okay, I have a lot of questions about this.
Speaker 2: I mean, unfortunate for him. Great bonus for you. He
Speaker 2: thought I was stealing because you were? How did he?
Speaker 4: Yeah, were She's right there?
Speaker 2: How did you not at some point go wow, oddly,
Speaker 2: they've sent me far too many meals this week. Maybe
Speaker 2: I'll just check. Why did you assume that they would
Speaker 2: send you more meals?
Speaker 1: So I had that moment where I was like, this
Speaker 1: is weird.
Speaker 2: I'm getting so many extra meals.
Speaker 1: Thanks Hello Fresh, closed the box and gone with my day.
Speaker 1: I just thought there must have been some deal going
Speaker 1: on where they were throwing extra in, or maybe I
Speaker 1: was a good customer because I've been long term.
Speaker 2: No part of me thought I was thieving from my apartment.
Speaker 4: This is so funny because I went to BRIT's on
Speaker 4: Friday night to have dinner and I said, let's order.
Speaker 4: She went, no, no, I've got heats of ingredients to
Speaker 4: make you a carbonara. She didn't say it was Hello Fresh,
Speaker 4: you did, And I thought, that's so unlike Brittany to
Speaker 4: whip up a carbonara. She opened the freeze she had
Speaker 4: a lot four liters of cream eggs.
Speaker 2: So wait, so what happened with the neighbors.
Speaker 1: I said, oh, I can go down, and I can
Speaker 1: go and I just unpacked it, I can go and
Speaker 1: get you everything. I was like, but I just cooked
Speaker 1: one of the meals. I just had hamburgers, so they
Speaker 1: were very good, so I can't even give you them back.
Speaker 1: And he's like, look, it's fine, And in my head
Speaker 1: I thought, oh my god, I didn't even cook the
Speaker 1: hamburgers for me, the orfered Delilah my dog.
Speaker 2: Oh no, you fed Hello fresh hamburgers to your dog
Speaker 2: that was meant for his children. Oh my neighbor's Hello
Speaker 2: fresh and cooked it and gave it to my dog. Okay,
Speaker 2: but surely you're gonna like pay him. Surely you'd give
Speaker 2: him money. Nobody was exchanged