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Speaker 1: Hey, give me a beer before it starts.

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Speaker 2: Get your own beer.

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Speaker 1: Oh look now it's started.

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Speaker 2: Aye, ready for a book club?

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Speaker 3: Jos Hi, Hello the Amanda.

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Speaker 2: Well, hello Brendan, And how are you too?

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Speaker 1: I don't think you need to do the voice.

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Speaker 4: Well, we're talking about books and book clubbish things. Did

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Speaker 4: you bring a cheese platter, because that's normally what we

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Speaker 4: provided a book club.

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Speaker 3: I noticed there's a cheese platter smell in here, but

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Speaker 3: I can't see any cheese platter.

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Speaker 2: Oh, there's plenty of cheese.

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Speaker 1: There's plenty of cheese and ham today. What are we

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Speaker 1: discussing in our books?

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Speaker 2: Well, let's talk about when we met our partners.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, yeah, good, good good. You want to go

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Speaker 1: first on Mega, I'll go first.

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Speaker 2: You go first my chapter? Would you call yours?

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Speaker 3: You are the tunes in my head, the fire in

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Speaker 3: my ribs. That's the line from Happy Birthday Helen by

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Speaker 3: Things of Stone and Wood.

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Speaker 1: Remember that song I do.

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Speaker 4: Well, mine's titled after a song as well. I Want

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Speaker 4: to Know what Love is? Chapter ten. Really, it's weird

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Speaker 4: to sit down now and look back at my first

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Speaker 4: impressions of Harley with the wisdom of twenty five years

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Speaker 4: of marriage behind me.

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Speaker 2: Actually, now it's thirty.

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Speaker 4: It's strange to say that we knew each other for

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Speaker 4: several years before we ever had a spark.

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Speaker 2: He was a good kiwi boy while a man.

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Speaker 4: Really he was and still is, eleven years older than me,

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Speaker 4: who joined me on two thousand, around the same time

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Speaker 4: I did. He was an editor and had the dubious

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Speaker 4: honor of working on one of my first stories, which

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Speaker 4: unfortunately featured me wearing a wetsuit.

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Speaker 2: Dreadful.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of information there.

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Speaker 4: Somehow he was undeterred. We struck up a friendship, and

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Speaker 4: I liked his dry sense of humor. I'd broken up

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Speaker 4: with a previous boyfriend, and I found myself single at

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Speaker 4: the ripe old age of twenty six. I wondered if

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Speaker 4: I'd ever find a new partner in time to start

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Speaker 4: a family. My concern seems hilarious now, considering I had

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Speaker 4: my first baby at thirty nine. I remember sitting with

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Speaker 4: Harley in the editing suite as he put together a

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Speaker 4: horrendously gruesome story i'd filmed in a Hong Kong paper

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Speaker 4: factory to enable the employees of the paper factory to

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Speaker 4: work fast, so the safety guards had been removed from

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Speaker 4: the cutting machines. Several people had lost thumbs as their

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Speaker 4: rhythm falter and the guillotine came down.

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Speaker 2: Without a thumb, it.

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Speaker 4: Was impossible for these people to have a livelihood. The

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Speaker 4: story covered a procedure whereby a patient's second toe was

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Speaker 4: used to fashion a new thumb, and the footage excuse

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Speaker 4: the pun was brutal. There were hammers and skin flaps

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Speaker 4: and terrible noises. I noticed Harley starting to sweat. He

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Speaker 4: turned the color down on the video monitor so we

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Speaker 4: could only see it in black and white, so the

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Speaker 4: only color in the room was the green of his face.

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Speaker 4: Hard to believe, but romance didn't instantly flourish in that moment.

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Speaker 4: Not long after, Harley switched from editing to field producing

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Speaker 4: and we started working together. His love of everything mechanical

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Speaker 4: meant he was beside himself with excitement the day we

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Speaker 4: filmed at the Wrath Unit in farn Brain, England. The

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Speaker 4: story was about an instrument nose that had been strapped

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Speaker 4: onto the front of an.

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Speaker 2: Ra of hercules. Here's how he described the day ahead

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Speaker 2: of us.

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Speaker 4: We're going to fly at low level across the Irish

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Speaker 4: Sea while the nose takes in samples of air which

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Speaker 4: is going to be analyzed, etc.

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Speaker 1: Etc.

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Speaker 2: Then we're going to turn around.

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Speaker 4: The plane will be stip curves and bah blah blah

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Speaker 4: blah blah, we're backing farmber By five pm. Brilliant day

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Speaker 4: of my life. All I heard was that we were

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Speaker 4: going to be sitting backwards in a plane circling for

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Speaker 4: eight hours only to land exactly where we'd started.

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Speaker 2: My idea of hell yeah, I.

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Speaker 4: Doped myself to the eyeballs with anti motion sickness pills.

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Speaker 4: Spent the entire day slumped in my seat on the plane,

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Speaker 4: dry mouthed, heavy lidded, my head lolling like a baby.

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Speaker 4: The only highlight of my day the pilot who saw

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Speaker 4: me passed out in the seat and said, what's wrong

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Speaker 4: with the model? They mustn't see many women in their

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Speaker 4: line of work, but I'll take a compliment when I

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Speaker 4: get it.

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Speaker 1: What's wrong with the model?

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Speaker 4: Back in Sydney, Harley took a bold move and crossed

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Speaker 4: the friend Lover Divide with do you want to see

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Speaker 4: a movie? During Indiana Jones and The Last Crusader. I

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Speaker 4: remember feeling a little anxious that Harley might want to

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Speaker 4: take things further, was that what I wanted. By the

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Speaker 4: end of the evening it was we both though, fell

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Speaker 4: deep after that and quickly realized we wanted to get married.

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Speaker 2: It took our work colleagues by surprise.

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Speaker 4: Think of two random people you work with and imagine

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Speaker 4: them telling you out of the blue that they're engaged.

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Speaker 2: It was like that for us.

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Speaker 4: We made the announcement during a weekly production meeting once

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Speaker 4: a shokwar off. The water cool was filled with champagne

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Speaker 4: and the office had yet another party.

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Speaker 3: Well, plenty of people gathered around the water cool or

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Speaker 3: to have a chat there, didn't They just champagne and

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Speaker 3: these two love birds together?

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Speaker 2: What you and you?

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Speaker 4: They didn't even know we were going out and we said, hey,

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Speaker 4: we're getting married's it is kind.

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Speaker 1: Of weird, isn't it.

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Speaker 3: Yes, it's like Jason in Accounts marrying Kathy.

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Speaker 4: In Fine I married Jason in Accounts as well, where

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Speaker 4: he's quite desirable.

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Speaker 5: He is.

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Speaker 1: It's curious. I never knew that about it. Yeah, it's interesting.

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Speaker 1: Do you want me to read about mine?

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Speaker 2: Please? Does it also feature Jason of the Accounts.

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Speaker 3: There's no Jason of Accounts, just Turbo my mate Turbo.

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Speaker 3: Do you remember my mate Turbo. Turbo actually introduced me

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Speaker 3: to my future wife, Helen. I just arrived down the

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Speaker 3: snow fresh off the snow cat and as I was

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Speaker 3: unloading my gear into the room I would share with

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Speaker 3: him outside in the corridor, I heard a wicked laugh.

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Speaker 1: That's h Turbo said. She's from our neck of the woods.

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Speaker 3: Know it. Turbo ran into a nearby room and returned

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Speaker 3: moments later with a girl in a ninety Hey. I

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Speaker 3: was just off to brush my teeth, she protested, this

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Speaker 3: is Brendan Jones.

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Speaker 1: He just started here, Turbo said.

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Speaker 3: H looked at me and remarked, Brendan Jones as in

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Speaker 3: a country practice, you must have been upset about Molly

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Speaker 3: passing away, and then laughed with that laugh of hers.

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Speaker 3: I was instantly smitten. Her actual name was Helen Freeman.

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Speaker 3: She had long blonde hair and sparkling green eyes, and

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Speaker 3: she worked in reception at the hotel. She was from

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Speaker 3: Lily Pelly, which was not far from where I lived.

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Speaker 3: But unfortunately for me, she already had a boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: Oh so you two never got together.

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Speaker 1: No ever. Ever.

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Speaker 3: Ever, that snow season taught me many things, including how

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Speaker 3: to ski and that I never wanted.

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Speaker 1: To work in a commercial kitchen again.

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Speaker 3: At the end of the season they had the ski

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Speaker 3: Instructor's ball and it was all hands on deck in

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Speaker 3: the kitchen.

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Speaker 1: No, it wasn't a raffle.

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Speaker 3: Helen was assigned to work on dish y with me,

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Speaker 3: which wasn't really necessary as the dining room was always

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Speaker 3: full during peak yes season, but I like floating with

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Speaker 3: Helen's I didn't mind because I had a routine. It

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Speaker 3: was easy to do the work myself, so I told

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Speaker 3: Helen to just wipe the countertops down, all the while

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Speaker 3: helping herself to champagne.

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Speaker 4: Can I say something here, this is what you still

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Speaker 4: do twenty nine years later, and you hog You say no, no,

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Speaker 4: let me do it.

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Speaker 1: Well, no, it's not that.

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Speaker 3: It's just that Helen has no aptitude when it comes

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Speaker 3: to a kitchen, has no idea, can't pack a dishwasher,

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Speaker 3: can't can't do anything.

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Speaker 2: You were being bossy even then.

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Speaker 1: She didn't want to do anything. That was the thing.

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Speaker 3: It was, and it was and we had to. It

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Speaker 3: was spit night when I had the spit.

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Speaker 2: The big meat seeing that on Titanic, Yeah, the big spit.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So there was grease everything.

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Speaker 1: There was two of them.

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Speaker 3: There would be like a beef spit and a lamb

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Speaker 3: or pork spit, and then you'd have to clean the

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Speaker 3: two rotisseries. And that was the worst job in the

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Speaker 3: world now read dumb boods.

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Speaker 1: It was everything. Helen was helping herself to the champagne.

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Speaker 3: The door opened at Bernie, the big boss of the

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Speaker 3: hotel and not the biggest fan of mine. Could you

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Speaker 3: imagine I can came in to check on us. I

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Speaker 3: grabbed the champagne from the counter and put it next

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Speaker 3: to me. What have I told you about drinking on

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Speaker 3: the job, he shouted. If you want a reference when.

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Speaker 1: You leave, he you better be careful.

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Speaker 3: Bernie used to threaten any so called slackers with an NCO,

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Speaker 3: which was an acronym for next cat out, next snow

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Speaker 3: cat out. Oh I see, in reference to the way

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Speaker 3: he wasn't a hipster, hey cat go. The fact that

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Speaker 3: we're all going to be leaving in three days time. Anyway,

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Speaker 3: we kind of made that thread of ben Bernie looked

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Speaker 3: at Helen and said, make sure you keep an eye

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Speaker 3: on old bugger lugs here.

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Speaker 1: Don't let him slack off.

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Speaker 3: Helen grinned and said in a cheeky, semi pissed voice,

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Speaker 3: will do Bernie. He looked at the champagne bottle, then

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Speaker 3: at me, and shook his head as he walked out

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Speaker 3: the door after leaving the snow, I wouldn't see Helen

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Speaker 3: again until early in nineteen eighty eight.

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Speaker 2: Oh how long after was that?

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Speaker 3: So that was eighty six eighty seven, That was eighty six,

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Speaker 3: so about a year a year. And I was riding

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Speaker 3: my bike aimlessly around when it started to rain just

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Speaker 3: as I was going past Karon Barron. I was wearing

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Speaker 3: double denim, which was at the forefront of the time

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Speaker 3: in fashion and has no water capabilities as far as

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Speaker 3: keeping out any water whatsoever. So I pulled into Karon

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Speaker 3: barre in and that's when I ran into her again.

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Speaker 4: And well, there's would just tell me I need to

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Speaker 4: get them on, I need to know what happened.

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Speaker 3: Well, I went to see a band called gold Zeppelin

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Speaker 3: that was a cover band.

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Speaker 5: Of let Me Guess Goldfinger of led Zeppelin, and during

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Speaker 5: the Ocean, which is a song that has a particularly

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Speaker 5: long drum solo, I felt someone grabbed me on the bum.

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Speaker 3: I was irritated because I really liked the song, particularly

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Speaker 3: the drumming parts. I turned around. It was Helen. I

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Speaker 3: stammeered it and said hello. She gave me a be hug.

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Speaker 3: We got talking and she told me she was working

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Speaker 3: as a theater nurse these days. Most importantly, she told

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Speaker 3: me she was now single.

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Speaker 1: Well.

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Speaker 3: She was with some friends that night, but asked me

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Speaker 3: to call her and then disappeared into the crowd.

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Speaker 5: Right.

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Speaker 3: The thing was that she never gave me her name.

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Speaker 3: She said, I call me and then walked off. The

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Speaker 3: Next day I tried the white pages to see if

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Speaker 3: I could find out some more information. I knew she

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Speaker 3: lived in Cronulla with her mum and dad, and there

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Speaker 3: were fifteen freemans who lived in Cronulla in the white pages.

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Speaker 3: I rang them all, and unbeknownst to me, I actually

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Speaker 3: rang Helen's grandma, who when I asked whether Helen lived there,

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Speaker 3: she said quite reasonably, no she doesn't, and then hung.

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Speaker 1: Up on me.

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Speaker 2: So no use at all.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so no use whatsoever.

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Speaker 3: It would take another visit to Carrying bur Room, where

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Speaker 3: I incidantally ran into Helen's sister, who I thought was

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Speaker 3: Helen because they kind of looked.

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Speaker 1: Similar, and from the disc I said, oh, there's Helen.

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Speaker 3: I walked out and I said ah, and she saw

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Speaker 3: me looking at her and I said, I'm a friend.

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Speaker 3: You don't have a sister called Helen? And she said, hey,

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Speaker 3: my sister's called.

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Speaker 2: Helen the sliding doors.

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Speaker 3: Hey yeah yeah. So I eventually got the number and

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Speaker 3: I managed to call Helen.

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Speaker 2: And planned a wedding.

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Speaker 3: Well, she suggested I come around to her place in Cronulla.

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Speaker 3: So I part my motorbike on the nature strip. A

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Speaker 3: man in his fifties answered the door. He was shorter

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Speaker 3: than me, but he looked pretty fit and was wearing

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Speaker 3: what appeared to be a police.

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Speaker 1: Uniform Helen's dad. I thought, oh great.

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Speaker 3: It turned out Helen's dad, Ron was not a police officer,

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Speaker 3: but a prison officer out of Long Bay. That's probably

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Speaker 3: why their phone number wasn't in.

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Speaker 2: The white paper, right.

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Speaker 3: Helen's mam mate us all a cup of tea and

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Speaker 3: we chatted about the old times. Ron came in and

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Speaker 3: said he was off to work. He also said, is

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Speaker 3: that your motorbike out the front? This is where you

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Speaker 3: always get shame about being a motorcycle rider is when

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Speaker 3: a prospective partner's father asked you about it. No, you

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Speaker 3: sometimes even feel that you might deny knowledge. But the

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Speaker 3: fact that he answered the door and I was holding

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Speaker 3: a helmet a little foolish. So then what you do

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Speaker 3: is you downplay how fast your bikes Goes said, well,

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Speaker 3: when I was a young fellow, I had a motorbike.

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Speaker 3: It was a two fifty cc. How many CS's is yours?

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Speaker 3: And I said, oh, yeah, it's seven fifty and so

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Speaker 3: that sounds very powerful. I said, oh no, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 3: it's a very it's a very sedate motorcycle.

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Speaker 2: But they obviously loved you.

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Speaker 3: No, no, not from that moment. No, no, I agree,

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Speaker 3: No did he? No, No, well, I offered to take

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Speaker 3: Helen on my bike. We're going to go and see

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Speaker 3: a movie. She could even wear my helmet if she wanted.

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Speaker 1: I only had one helmet.

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Speaker 3: But back in those days, you were allowed to ride

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Speaker 3: around without a helmet if you had a helmet exception,

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Speaker 3: since was just a letter from your doctor. And I

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Speaker 3: had a letter from a doctor saying that his head's

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Speaker 3: to be I had like a bone spur on the

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Speaker 3: back of my head. I still do. And doctor Mara

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Speaker 3: written me a helmet exempt since I don't know actually

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Speaker 3: have to wear a helmet. At the time, though, I

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Speaker 3: thought it was incredibly dangerous not.

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Speaker 1: To wear a helmet.

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Speaker 3: We went along to Miranda Theater to see the movies.

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Speaker 3: The first the movies that are on display there. We

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Speaker 3: could see First Blood, Jean Cord Van Dam or Dirty Dancing.

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Speaker 3: At that point, I'm watching Helen and I'm thinking, which

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Speaker 3: way is she going to go on this? She looked

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Speaker 3: at John Claude Van Dam and I thought, for a second,

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Speaker 3: maybe this could happen. Maybe she's going to watch this.

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Speaker 2: I've had the time of my life.

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Speaker 1: Dirty Dancing is not a bad man. I liked it.

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Speaker 1: In the end.

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Speaker 3: We went home and we all sat on the lounge

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Speaker 3: with Helen's mum and dad watching the Golden Girls. When

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Speaker 3: it finished, Helen said, well, I've got to work early tomorrow.

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Speaker 3: I'll see you later. She got off the lounge and

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Speaker 3: I just sat there with her mum and dad.

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Speaker 2: You're an old person before your time.

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Speaker 3: When an ad break came on, I took it as

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Speaker 3: my cue to leave. I didn't hear from him for

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Speaker 3: a few weeks.

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Speaker 4: Mom loves you do want to come watch Golden Girls again? Well,

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Speaker 4: I've got a quick piece here about my wedding day.

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Speaker 1: Oh, here we go.

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Speaker 4: I didn't really want to be a big, flouncy bride.

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Speaker 4: But then again, when I thought of myself as a bride,

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Speaker 4: no picture came to mind. I had no sense of style.

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Speaker 1: Style.

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Speaker 4: So with some tripidation and my friend Vanessa and I

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Speaker 4: went big white dress shopping, and I pretty much chose

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Speaker 4: the first dress I tried on. What I didn't realize

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Speaker 4: was that brides are supposed to select a dress and

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Speaker 4: then a copy is made for them. As I placed

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Speaker 4: my choice on the counter, the sal's lady said, and

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Speaker 4: when's your wedding? I said, oh, four weeks from today,

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Speaker 4: and she nearly fainted. So I brought that very dress,

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Speaker 4: complete with the anxious vibes of all the nervy brides

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Speaker 4: to be who tried it on before me. Then there

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Speaker 4: was the wedding lingerie to shop for. I've never been

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Speaker 4: one for skimpy undies. The bigger the cottontails, the better.

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Speaker 4: My mum once said, always choose a cotton gusset so

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Speaker 4: you can breathe exactly where she thought my mouth was.

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Speaker 2: I have no idea.

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Speaker 4: Despite my preference for burlap sacks, I decided to make

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Speaker 4: an effort for our wedding night. So I found myself

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Speaker 4: perusing racks of frilly white things. The sALS lady came

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Speaker 4: to help and pulled what looked like a piece of

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Speaker 4: dental floss from the hangar. She looked me up and

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Speaker 4: down and said, hmm, bit too ambitious, that's sad ahre

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Speaker 4: are we Harley and I to slightly tweak our vows

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Speaker 4: with a bit of stuff written by us to be

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Speaker 4: inserted into the usual celebrant stuff. We'd handed over our

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Speaker 4: notes to the celebrant, and to our surprise on the day,

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Speaker 4: he read out our notation's word for word. He literally read,

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Speaker 4: and here they say ad lib blah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: That's what he said. I didn't know whether to laugh

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Speaker 2: or cry.

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Speaker 4: It was as if we'd hired Rowan Atkinson to officiate

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Speaker 4: our wedding.

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Speaker 1: So didn't you give him some guidances?

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Speaker 3: What?

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Speaker 2: That's what we were saying.

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Speaker 4: We said, well, these are the bits we'd like to say,

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Speaker 4: these are our vows, and this is the bit where

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Speaker 4: you say your bit.

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Speaker 2: But he read out those very words.

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Speaker 1: That guy's going to be hosting his own TV show.

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Speaker 4: Harley threatened to burn a cross outside the church. Actually,

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Speaker 4: we didn't even get married in the church. The day

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Speaker 4: ended with some of Harley's friends asking if he wanted

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Speaker 4: if we wanted to join them in their hotel to

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Speaker 4: watch the Monaco Grand Prix. Right when Harley declined, I

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Speaker 4: knew I was truly loved, having said that he hasn't

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Speaker 4: missed one since. You know, if someone had told me

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Speaker 4: during my dreamy teenage years that I'd marry a man

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Speaker 4: who'd been married before for fourteen years no letter I forgot,

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Speaker 4: I'd have felt terribly deflated. How could he ever have

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Speaker 4: loved someone but me, etc.

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Speaker 3: Etc.

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Speaker 4: But the reality is was, and is that I've not,

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Speaker 4: for a second felt anything but exclusively loved and cherished.

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Speaker 2: Ah ah.

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Speaker 4: Not long ago, not long into our marriage, Harley and

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Speaker 4: I went to Pugola Beach on Sydney's Northern Beaches. I

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Speaker 4: never mastered the art of body surfing, but as Harley

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Speaker 4: launched me into the surf, I lost. I found the

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Speaker 4: sweet spot and body rove a wave to shore for

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Speaker 4: the first time ever. Unfortunately, in the process, my wedding

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Speaker 4: rings slipped from my finger. I was devastated when I

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Speaker 4: realized was this an omen? Could another ring ever replace

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Speaker 4: the one? He put on my finger during our wedding ceremony.

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Speaker 4: Would it block a baby's dolphins blowhole? Or be found

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Speaker 4: years down the track by those old men with big

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Speaker 4: guts and no bums who walk along the shoreline with

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Speaker 4: a metal detector.

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Speaker 2: So many questions.

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Speaker 1: Never see young guys with metal detectors.

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Speaker 2: Never.

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Speaker 4: Harley very calmly arranged for a replacement gold band and

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Speaker 4: made the most beautiful speech. He said, how lucky we

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Speaker 4: were that our relationship out lasted the jewelry, and that's

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Speaker 4: the way it should be. He's not always so rational.

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Speaker 4: Just recently he called me into the toilet of our

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Speaker 4: own suite. While sitting, he'd stared at the floor tiles

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Speaker 4: and lo and behold, he could see an image of

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Speaker 4: my face in the pattern and a ceramic. He framed

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Speaker 4: it with masking tape. He's really the only person in

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Speaker 4: the house who can see it. He please plans to

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Speaker 4: open a shrine in the toilet to overseas jurists.

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Speaker 2: Is I think a little flawed.

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Speaker 4: While we're on the bathroom, a tip if you have

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Speaker 4: a family of boys, don't go near the toilet barefoot

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Speaker 4: or wearing a long dress.

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Speaker 2: Yeh, You're welcome, So how romantic our lives.

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Speaker 1: Are, how they are.

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Speaker 2: Indeed, I'm exhausted, are you? Cigarette and a cup of tea.

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Speaker 2: Let's do it.

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Speaker 1: Join us next time as we peel back more layers of.

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Speaker 4: Our lives for another episode of Jones and Amanda's Holiday

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Speaker 4: Book Club.

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Speaker 5: For more Jonesy and demanded podcasts, download the free iHeartRadio

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Speaker 5: up a