1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:07,160 Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast. It's the podcast for the. 2 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:10,119 Speaker 2: Time poor parent who just wants answers. 3 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 1: Now, So, Kylie, can you feel what I can feel? 4 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:17,720 Speaker 2: I don't think I can feel anything. What can you feel? 5 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:21,439 Speaker 1: Love? Love? Love is in the air. Love is in 6 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 1: the air, Kylie, can you feel it? Valentine's Day? 7 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 3: Oh? 8 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:30,440 Speaker 1: Come on? What if I was to No, I haven't 9 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:35,519 Speaker 1: got anything organized. Never mind, I'm sorry, Oh dear, not 10 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:40,279 Speaker 1: off to a great start, are we? But you told 11 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:41,520 Speaker 1: me not to organize anything. 12 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:43,920 Speaker 2: Because I wasn't expecting anything. Well, anyway, we're. 13 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,440 Speaker 1: Looking after our granddaughter tonight so that our our daughter 14 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:50,040 Speaker 1: and her husband can celebrate a Valentine's their first Valentine's parents. 15 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:51,440 Speaker 2: It's pretty exciting. 16 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:53,760 Speaker 1: It is pretty exciting. This is this is what twenty 17 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,400 Speaker 1: six years of marriage sounds. It looks like folks. 18 00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:59,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, we get to celebrate with the grand baby. 19 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:00,480 Speaker 4: Hey. 20 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 1: Today on the Happy Families Podcast, Kylie and I thought 21 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:04,760 Speaker 1: that what we might do is something completely different. If 22 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,080 Speaker 1: you've been along for the ride for a while now, 23 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:10,959 Speaker 1: we've never actually shared the story of how our marriage began, 24 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:14,280 Speaker 1: how our relationship kicked off, Where did it all start? 25 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: Why are we happily married after twenty six years. In 26 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:20,080 Speaker 1: today's podcast, we're going to share the story of number one, 27 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,920 Speaker 1: how we met. Number two how we dated and got 28 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 1: engaged after only knowing each other for a couple of 29 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:29,960 Speaker 1: months and dating for two weeks. Number three, how I 30 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:37,319 Speaker 1: won our honeymoon to Fiji eight nights including helicopter transfers amazing, 31 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:43,680 Speaker 1: and number four three things that support the happiest of marriages. 32 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:47,200 Speaker 1: Because it's twenty six years for us next month, and 33 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 1: I don't know about you being crazy about me, but 34 00:01:51,040 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: I am crazy about you, just crazy, all right. So 35 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,480 Speaker 1: let's kick off with number one, how did we meet? 36 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 2: And how long is this podcast going to go for? 37 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 1: Well, we've got to get it done in like twelve minutes, 38 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: so I'm going to do my best to not talk 39 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 1: because if I talk this, I mean, I'm the details 40 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:13,919 Speaker 1: person when it comes to this story, I will talk 41 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 1: for like two hours. 42 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 2: Except you get all the details wrong every time. 43 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 1: So what we want you to do as you're listening 44 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,240 Speaker 1: to this conversation is imagine that you're sitting in our 45 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,679 Speaker 1: lunge room. You've got a nice glass of sparkling water 46 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:28,120 Speaker 1: with some ice and lemon slices or wme and just 47 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 1: join us for the conversation as we share with you 48 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:34,680 Speaker 1: how it all happened for Justin and Kylie, well before 49 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:39,240 Speaker 1: Happy Families was even dreamed of. Yeah, before it was 50 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:41,760 Speaker 1: ever in our imaginations. Where did it all start? 51 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:46,120 Speaker 4: Well, we were at a young single adult convention on 52 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:47,360 Speaker 4: the Sunshine Coast. 53 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 1: Yan Dina. We called it Camp Krusty. That's all what 54 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:50,400 Speaker 1: it was really called. But that's what we called it 55 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,280 Speaker 1: back in the late nineteen nineties. 56 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 4: Accommodation it was pretty poor back then. I think I 57 00:02:55,600 --> 00:03:00,160 Speaker 4: was in a Marquee tent with bunk stretches. 58 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I was in a room with about fifteen 59 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:05,800 Speaker 1: other guys with smelly feet and sleeping bags. So it 60 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:09,800 Speaker 1: was Christmas New Year's nineteen ninety six, four or five 61 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:14,560 Speaker 1: day convention across that period. I arrived early, and since 62 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 1: no one was really doing anything and I wanted the 63 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:20,639 Speaker 1: party to start, I started introducing myself as Justin Colson, 64 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:22,799 Speaker 1: the President of the Good Time Committee. Now there wasn't 65 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 1: a Good Time Committee except that I just invented it. 66 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:26,959 Speaker 1: I kept my thinking, if you're not having a good time, 67 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,239 Speaker 1: just come and find me. Okay, I'll make sure that 68 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 1: you're having a good time. What I was really doing 69 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:32,480 Speaker 1: was trying to introduce myself to as many girls as possible, 70 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:34,399 Speaker 1: and I think it worked well. 71 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:38,120 Speaker 4: I was a pretty timid I just turned eighteen, and 72 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,880 Speaker 4: I had never attended anything like this. 73 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:41,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, nor did I. 74 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 4: Most people were twenty plus yes years of age, and 75 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 4: so I felt very much out of my debts. I 76 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 4: had a boyfriend and he may have broken up with 77 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 4: me in the lead up to attending this, because it 78 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 4: kind of was a bit of a dumb thing that. 79 00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:00,040 Speaker 1: You just want to see who else myke eli, I 80 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 1: got all. 81 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:04,320 Speaker 4: Your options open, and I was so inexperienced. I didn't 82 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,880 Speaker 4: know anything about that at that point, so I went unattached. 83 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 4: And I may have seen this really good looking. 84 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 1: I'll stop it, how are you talking about me? 85 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:17,920 Speaker 4: No, of course, walking around and making his way through 86 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,440 Speaker 4: all the groups, and I could just feel the energy 87 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:23,800 Speaker 4: and the excitement, and I really wanted to know what 88 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:25,599 Speaker 4: was going on. So I actually asked a couple of 89 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 4: girls that I knew if they knew who you were, 90 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:31,920 Speaker 4: and they said no. And about fifteen twenty minutes later, 91 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 4: I'd gone off and met some other people and I 92 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,680 Speaker 4: turned around and those girls were talking to you, and 93 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 4: I knew, based on how they were responding to you, 94 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,600 Speaker 4: that they actually knew you and you knew them. I 95 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 4: was really ticked off, so I walked over to the 96 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:48,000 Speaker 4: competition already. I walked over to the group and I 97 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,200 Speaker 4: literally kind of just pushed my way into the circle 98 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 4: until you noticed me. And you may have introduced me 99 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:57,880 Speaker 4: like you introduced everybody else and said, Hi, my name's Justin. 100 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 2: I'm the president of the good Time doesn't exist, but 101 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:03,800 Speaker 2: here I am, and you. 102 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:06,200 Speaker 4: Shook my hand and I said I'm Kylie, and my 103 00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:08,200 Speaker 4: job was done. I just needed didn't know my name. 104 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:11,080 Speaker 1: So fast forward a couple of days and we bumped 105 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:13,919 Speaker 1: into each other again. I really have no recollection of this, 106 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,280 Speaker 1: but I've heard you share this story several times. I 107 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:19,479 Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable with this part of the story and I 108 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,440 Speaker 1: really don't recall it, so I'm going to have to 109 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:22,680 Speaker 1: get you to share this as well. 110 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:23,719 Speaker 2: So it's service day. 111 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 4: We're all engaged in different service activities around the camp 112 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:31,320 Speaker 4: to beautify the camp that really was very run down, 113 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,920 Speaker 4: and I had picked to paint the roof. My job 114 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:39,000 Speaker 4: was done, and I came back to the main eating area, 115 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,760 Speaker 4: dining area, and it was a big kind of outdoor space, 116 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,599 Speaker 4: and there was a whole heap of girls sitting in 117 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:47,080 Speaker 4: the semi circle and they weren't really talking, and we 118 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 4: didn't have mobile phones back then, so they were kind 119 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 4: of just in the area. 120 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,840 Speaker 1: And I kind of imagine that a bunch of teenage 121 00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:54,800 Speaker 1: girls or early twenties girls, and none of them looking 122 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 1: at a phone because they didn't exist. They were just 123 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,000 Speaker 1: sitting there. 124 00:05:57,279 --> 00:05:58,720 Speaker 2: And I said to them, what are you guys doing? 125 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:01,599 Speaker 4: I went on nothing, and I just kind of noticed 126 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,320 Speaker 4: their gaze was all headed in one direction. There was 127 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:07,720 Speaker 4: a window in front of them, and behind that window 128 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:11,400 Speaker 4: was a young man who was painting I think Fred 129 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,920 Speaker 4: Flintstone from memory on the window. 130 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:19,040 Speaker 1: I was painting Fred Flintstone. And I am embarrassed by 131 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 1: this story, but I kind of love it as well, 132 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:21,240 Speaker 1: so keep on going. 133 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:24,280 Speaker 4: And I just looked at this group of girls. I 134 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 4: was like, this is crazy. Why is everyone just sitting here? 135 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,760 Speaker 4: So I decided that I wasn't going to sit there 136 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:30,360 Speaker 4: and be a part of fifteen girls, that I would 137 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,520 Speaker 4: be part of one. So I walked inside and I 138 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:35,200 Speaker 4: sat down next to you, and I started up a conversation. 139 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:36,800 Speaker 1: Very bold, missus happy families. 140 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:40,520 Speaker 2: Well, yeah, it got me somewhere, so we chatted. 141 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,280 Speaker 1: Apparently, I have no recollection of. 142 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 2: It was completely memorable, clearly. 143 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:46,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, I have no recollection of meeting you there. I 144 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,840 Speaker 1: have no idea that there was a group of girls 145 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:49,560 Speaker 1: watching me painting. 146 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:52,600 Speaker 2: You were concentrating heavily. 147 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:54,960 Speaker 1: I have no idea how to paint. All right, so 148 00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:57,800 Speaker 1: let's move this right along. I'm in a dorm with 149 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,400 Speaker 1: the guy that you'd been dating, Joel. We're having a 150 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:02,679 Speaker 1: conversation about all the hot girls that are at convention, 151 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,600 Speaker 1: and I made the comment my goal was to ask 152 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 1: as many girls out on dates as I possibly could. 153 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 1: A few of the guys not at approvingly and said, yeah, 154 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 1: that's what we're all here to do. We're going to 155 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:15,440 Speaker 1: ask all these girls on dates. And one person said, yeah, 156 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,440 Speaker 1: but you don't know if they've got boyfriends, and I said, well, 157 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 1: if they've got boyfriends, they can say no. I feel terrible. 158 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,800 Speaker 1: I can't actually believe that I'm sharing this on the podcast, 159 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:27,200 Speaker 1: but I've started now. I said they're fair game unless 160 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,040 Speaker 1: there's a ring on the finger. My twenty one year 161 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:31,520 Speaker 1: old said it with a lot more conviction than I'm 162 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 1: saying it right now. I feel uncomfortable saying I still 163 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:34,320 Speaker 1: believe that. 164 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:34,640 Speaker 2: Well. 165 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,560 Speaker 1: I kind of do too, but I wish that i'd 166 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 1: set it more sensitively. 167 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:38,600 Speaker 2: I don't. 168 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,120 Speaker 1: It's not a very nice one to say it, But 169 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,520 Speaker 1: what I was basically saying was, if there's a ring 170 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:45,200 Speaker 1: on somebody's finger, then they are clearly in a committed relationship, 171 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 1: they're getting engaged, they're getting married, stay away. But if 172 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,240 Speaker 1: there's no ring on their finger. We're here at a 173 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:53,360 Speaker 1: young adult convention where we're supposed to be meeting people, 174 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,600 Speaker 1: so ask them on a date. If they're serious about 175 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,640 Speaker 1: someone else, they'll say, I'm sorry, I've got a boyfriend. 176 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,240 Speaker 1: And if they're not, then they'll say no. The only 177 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,560 Speaker 1: person who really got upset about me saying that was 178 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 1: the guy that had been dating you. Joey got most upset, 179 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:09,640 Speaker 1: pushed hard against that, and that's kind of all I 180 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:11,480 Speaker 1: recall there. But a couple of days later, you and 181 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,160 Speaker 1: I were doing the cleanup at the end of camp, 182 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,800 Speaker 1: and somehow, after everything was cleaned up, you and I 183 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:17,360 Speaker 1: ended up we kind of. 184 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:21,320 Speaker 4: Just bumped into each other. I had managed to separate 185 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,520 Speaker 4: myself from Joel. Somehow, it just kind of happened as 186 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 4: we were moving around and you and I bumped into 187 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:27,840 Speaker 4: each other. We started a conversation and we ended up 188 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 4: near the pool I had tried for the very first time. 189 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:32,600 Speaker 4: I had tried cable. 190 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,640 Speaker 2: Skiing right water skiing the day before. 191 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,960 Speaker 4: I am terrible at any of those kinds of sports, 192 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,080 Speaker 4: and I didn't actually even I don't even think I 193 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,319 Speaker 4: made it around the track. And your shoulders were so 194 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,440 Speaker 4: so and my shoulders worse, saur and I mentioned that 195 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,800 Speaker 4: to you, and you thought, well, I could give you 196 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,280 Speaker 4: a message. I will say it was That's the only 197 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,200 Speaker 4: time I've ever had a message from you. 198 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,600 Speaker 1: Ever, But there was nothing in it. 199 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 2: But it was nothing. 200 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 1: While I was massaging your sore shoulders from the cable 201 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:02,480 Speaker 1: skiing the day before, guess who walked over the ex boyfriend. 202 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, he wasn't the ex boyfriend by that stage. 203 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:08,080 Speaker 1: Though, right, so he was pretty upset about things, But 204 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,400 Speaker 1: I was oblivious to it all and I just left 205 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,559 Speaker 1: you guys to chat because it was pretty swear to 206 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,880 Speaker 1: me that he wasn't going to leave. A couple of 207 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 1: days later, I bumped into him at an after party 208 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,920 Speaker 1: and I said to him. 209 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 2: And we'd broken up by that point. 210 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:23,439 Speaker 1: Yeah, probably because I was massaging your shoulders. And I 211 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,439 Speaker 1: actually remember saying to him, mate, look, I know you're 212 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,640 Speaker 1: upset about me spending time with Kylie the other day, 213 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,480 Speaker 1: but if you and her are supposed to be together, 214 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:30,800 Speaker 1: there's nothing I can do that's going to change that. 215 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:32,040 Speaker 1: And if I'm supposed to be with her, then there's 216 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:33,480 Speaker 1: nothing you can do it's going to change that. It 217 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:35,880 Speaker 1: was such a confident thing that I said to him. 218 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,480 Speaker 4: But what was so funny about that is you weren't 219 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,439 Speaker 4: even interested in me, not really. There wasn't any romantic 220 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 4: notion between either of us. 221 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,559 Speaker 1: I thought you were good looking and I thought you 222 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:44,200 Speaker 1: were great. 223 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,320 Speaker 4: But there wasn't anything further from that. 224 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,319 Speaker 1: So let's fast forward just another couple of weeks. You're 225 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 1: going on your first family holiday ever, and it just 226 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,920 Speaker 1: happens to be to the New South Wales central Coast, 227 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:57,560 Speaker 1: half an hour from where I live. 228 00:09:58,240 --> 00:09:59,880 Speaker 2: In the lead up to us leaving on this trip, 229 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,480 Speaker 2: I had gotten back with Joel. 230 00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 1: And I had again off again. 231 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 2: It was it was. 232 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,960 Speaker 4: Pretty messy, and I had mentioned to him that the 233 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 4: plan was when I went to Gosford that I would 234 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,080 Speaker 4: actually touch base with you because you were the only 235 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:15,800 Speaker 4: person's phone number I had so that I could spend 236 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 4: some time with some of the young single adults that 237 00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:20,360 Speaker 4: I had met during that time. And he was pretty 238 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:23,200 Speaker 4: obviously adamant that I wasn't going to do that. But 239 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,400 Speaker 4: as we got closer to the departure date, he said, 240 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 4: I've been thinking about this whole thing with Justin, and 241 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:29,719 Speaker 4: I actually think that you should go out on a 242 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 4: date with him. And I said, look, guy, I said, 243 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,120 Speaker 4: we're back together now. I said, there's no berry like, 244 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 4: I'm not worried about it. And he said, no, no, no, 245 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,600 Speaker 4: I really think you should go out with Justin. One 246 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,200 Speaker 4: day will cure you, and. 247 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 2: You'll see what a loser is. 248 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:44,839 Speaker 4: You'll absolutely be convinced that he's not the person for you. 249 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:49,040 Speaker 4: So we came down to Gosford. I did not contact you. 250 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,040 Speaker 4: I was there for two weeks and it was two 251 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:52,920 Speaker 4: days before and Joel and I actually ended up having 252 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 4: a bit of an. 253 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:57,760 Speaker 2: Argument because you hadn't gone on a date with me, and. 254 00:10:57,679 --> 00:11:00,200 Speaker 4: I was pretty upset with the way he treated me, 255 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:01,839 Speaker 4: and so I thought, you know what, I'm here, I've 256 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,720 Speaker 4: only got two more days. I'll just give Justin a 257 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:04,719 Speaker 4: call and see if he wants to. 258 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:06,719 Speaker 1: Catch up, which you did, and we had such a. 259 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:08,360 Speaker 2: Great and we did have so much fun. 260 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:10,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, so we went out on that Sunday night. I 261 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:12,160 Speaker 1: introduced my family on our first date. 262 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:15,040 Speaker 2: You did, and I thought your mum hated me, and. 263 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:20,400 Speaker 1: My mom had actually said she's the one. And I 264 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,480 Speaker 1: dropped you home at midnight because that was your curfew, 265 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 1: and we sat on the front step until one am. 266 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,439 Speaker 1: I got home at about two am. The next morning, 267 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,319 Speaker 1: I was on your doorstep at seven thirty for date 268 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,200 Speaker 1: number two. Just loved it, had such a great time. 269 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:35,199 Speaker 2: You were supposed to start work at three o'clock. 270 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:37,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, I just didn't bother going to work, Like I 271 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:41,600 Speaker 1: was completely besided with this wonderful, wonderful girl that I 272 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:45,480 Speaker 1: was now dating. But then you went home and I 273 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:48,040 Speaker 1: started dating this other girl, and I don't know this 274 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,679 Speaker 1: stuff happened. And then what was it April? You came 275 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:53,600 Speaker 1: back down to Sydney, this time for another convention. 276 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,240 Speaker 4: Were stat in touch over the phone. 277 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:57,800 Speaker 1: We talked a bit, yeah a bit, well, we talked 278 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:01,600 Speaker 1: a lot, But then we spent a lot of time 279 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 1: together at this convention and by the end of the convention, 280 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:07,320 Speaker 1: we'd had our first kiss and we were pretty serious 281 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,560 Speaker 1: about each other. In the space of just a couple 282 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 1: of days, you went home. I talked to you every 283 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:17,120 Speaker 1: day and about a week later, one week later, I 284 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,319 Speaker 1: rang you. We stayed on the phone until about two 285 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:19,839 Speaker 1: in the morning. 286 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:21,640 Speaker 4: Well, I think what was really cool about this part 287 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:23,240 Speaker 4: of the story is that you had caught up with 288 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:24,960 Speaker 4: some friends you hadn't seen for a couple of years, 289 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:27,600 Speaker 4: and you've been with them for a couple of hours 290 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,320 Speaker 4: and they finally stopped you mid sentence and said, do 291 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:33,120 Speaker 4: you realize that the whole time you've been talking, you 292 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,200 Speaker 4: haven't stopped talking about this girl? Yeah? 293 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:36,920 Speaker 1: Or you want to talk about as Kylie? And I 294 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,120 Speaker 1: realized they were right. So I rang you from a 295 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,440 Speaker 1: payphone because there were no mobile phones back then, and said, 296 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:43,480 Speaker 1: I'm driving from Sydney back to Gosford. Will you be 297 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,720 Speaker 1: awake at ten o'clock when I get home? And you 298 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,840 Speaker 1: said okay, and I rang you at ten. When I 299 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:50,480 Speaker 1: got home, I sped home. We talked till two, and 300 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:51,920 Speaker 1: at two o'clock in the morning, I asked you to 301 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:54,120 Speaker 1: marry me over the phone, Like how romantic If I 302 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:56,040 Speaker 1: could go back. If I could go back, I would 303 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:58,640 Speaker 1: do that again. Well, sorry, I wouldn't do that again. 304 00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:01,480 Speaker 1: I would do that very differently, so differently, but you 305 00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:04,679 Speaker 1: said yes amazingly. So here's the thing. At this point, 306 00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:08,920 Speaker 1: we've probably spent four or five maybe six days, probably 307 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:13,240 Speaker 1: six days if that, in one another's physical presence. Then 308 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 1: I got a job in Mount Isaac, you and Brisbane 309 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,320 Speaker 1: finishing your studies. Your parents wouldn't let us get married 310 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,600 Speaker 1: until you were nineteen. That pushed it back, and in 311 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,480 Speaker 1: the end it sort of kept on getting pushed back. 312 00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:26,080 Speaker 1: We were engaged for eleven months. I'd only seen you 313 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:27,800 Speaker 1: for four days during that eleven months. The rest of 314 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:31,000 Speaker 1: it was over the phone and old fashioned letters. Email 315 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,560 Speaker 1: was a brand new thing. That's how old we are. 316 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:38,040 Speaker 1: And in fact I worked this out after our honeymoon. 317 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 1: We had spent more time in one another's physical presence 318 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:43,640 Speaker 1: from marriage to the end of our honeymoon than we'd 319 00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:50,559 Speaker 1: spent in our entire lives up to our marriage. Oh 320 00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:52,920 Speaker 1: and I should also mention I did say I won 321 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:57,680 Speaker 1: our honeymoon eight nights Tockericky Island in the Mamanuka Group 322 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:02,320 Speaker 1: of islands in Fiji, including helicopter transfers. I didn't have 323 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,320 Speaker 1: to pay for it. We're kind of running out of time. 324 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:05,880 Speaker 1: Have we got time for the story about how I 325 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:06,240 Speaker 1: want it? 326 00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:06,719 Speaker 4: Oh? 327 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:09,240 Speaker 1: You have to tell a story, okay? In thirty seconds 328 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:11,559 Speaker 1: or less. You were talking to me on the telephone 329 00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:13,839 Speaker 1: about how you'd been looking at some bridal magazines to 330 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:16,200 Speaker 1: get some ideas for the wedding. I complained to you 331 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:18,400 Speaker 1: that since I was only earning about eighteen thousand dollars 332 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,280 Speaker 1: a year as a radio announcer at hot FM and 333 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:22,880 Speaker 1: four Element Metalizer, we couldn't afford those brighter magazines because 334 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:25,200 Speaker 1: they were about twenty dollars each. You were really sad. 335 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:26,920 Speaker 1: I was really sad that I'd said that to you. 336 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,160 Speaker 1: Felt awful. Went into the local news agency and bought 337 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 1: two of them and went to post them, and then 338 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:32,160 Speaker 1: discovered that what was it? 339 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:33,840 Speaker 2: It cost me a for fortune to post these things? 340 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,640 Speaker 2: Can'tfully if you didn't realize. 341 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:38,880 Speaker 1: After I'd spend all this money on the magazines so embarrassing. 342 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:41,800 Speaker 4: Then you decided that you would rip out all the 343 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,640 Speaker 4: pages of the dresses you liked. 344 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 1: Can I? 345 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:47,440 Speaker 2: I just I so wish that I had kept them. 346 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:48,160 Speaker 1: It was so bad. 347 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:51,000 Speaker 2: Apparently them in the bin. They were that bad. I 348 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 2: wish I had a capture, and. 349 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:53,680 Speaker 3: I just said, I bought these magazines for you, but 350 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,360 Speaker 3: they were too expensive to post. So here are the 351 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:57,520 Speaker 3: pictures that I think you might like because I like them. 352 00:14:57,960 --> 00:14:59,840 Speaker 3: But in one of those magazines there was a winn 353 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:06,520 Speaker 3: of holiday for you and your groom or bride. You've 354 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:08,120 Speaker 3: just got to tell us, in fifty words or less, 355 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:11,240 Speaker 3: why you should win this trip to toker Ricky Island. 356 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:14,800 Speaker 3: So I wrote a poem, and I won the honeymoon. 357 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:19,320 Speaker 4: And up until this point I had never stayed in 358 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,560 Speaker 4: anything more than a roadside motel. 359 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,320 Speaker 1: Not just that, but our honeymoon we had no budget 360 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:26,720 Speaker 1: for it, and so we were going to be staying 361 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:29,240 Speaker 1: in roadside motels as we drove up the coast to 362 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:30,960 Speaker 1: our new home in rock Canton, which is where we're 363 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,960 Speaker 1: going to be living. So I wrote this poem, and 364 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:34,840 Speaker 1: at one I still know the poem. I'll share it 365 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,600 Speaker 1: with you in just a sec. But let's wrap up 366 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:41,720 Speaker 1: this podcast by highlighting that number one, we got married 367 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:43,600 Speaker 1: after we'd known each other for four months and day 368 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:47,520 Speaker 1: of two weeks. Number two, I had a radio career. 369 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,760 Speaker 1: Then our marriage survived, not just radio, which is a 370 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,960 Speaker 1: feat in and of itself. But returned to school for 371 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,000 Speaker 1: eight and a half years full time, and our marriage 372 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,240 Speaker 1: survived me being a student, living on a student income 373 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:00,640 Speaker 1: and raising two kids, and then three, and then four kids, 374 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:03,880 Speaker 1: and then five kids. Graduated with my PhD. We had 375 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 1: our six daughter shortly after I started the business. The 376 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 1: marriages survived starting and running a business. Now we've got 377 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,280 Speaker 1: six kids and a grandkid. We're up to twenty six 378 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,400 Speaker 1: years of marriage next year, and our marriage is the 379 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,840 Speaker 1: best thing in our lives, without question, the best thing 380 00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,680 Speaker 1: in our lives. So we want to share with you 381 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 1: three things that our experience and research show make for 382 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 1: a happy marriage. If they're not relevant to you, that's okay. 383 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:28,800 Speaker 1: We just want to share them because they're relevant to 384 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,920 Speaker 1: us and they fit with what the research shows. So 385 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:35,320 Speaker 1: number one, Number one, we just might really like each 386 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:38,000 Speaker 1: We really like each other, oh lot. 387 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,880 Speaker 4: One of the things that I love about our story 388 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:44,040 Speaker 4: is on the morning we got married, yes, you were 389 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:47,360 Speaker 4: driving down the freeway to meet me. 390 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,240 Speaker 1: Can I share this one? Because this one, this is 391 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:52,840 Speaker 1: the I had this great experience driving from Gosford down 392 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,800 Speaker 1: to Sydney for the wedding. I'm sitting with my best 393 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,800 Speaker 1: man in the car, just the two of us, driving 394 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,680 Speaker 1: down And as we went over the Hawksbury River Bridge 395 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,120 Speaker 1: and I'm looking at the water, my friend Ian said 396 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:04,719 Speaker 1: to me, are you nervous? And I looked at him 397 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:08,400 Speaker 1: and said, I feel like today I'm going to make 398 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,320 Speaker 1: a commitment to spend the rest of my life with 399 00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:13,800 Speaker 1: my very best friend. I'm I was so excited, like 400 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,920 Speaker 1: there were no nerves at all. I just couldn't wait. 401 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,639 Speaker 1: I don't think that I realized the enormative of what 402 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:19,679 Speaker 1: we were committing to it in some ways because I 403 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:23,440 Speaker 1: was just so young and dumb. But I was genuinely 404 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:25,880 Speaker 1: and truly excited to be able to spend that time 405 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:26,240 Speaker 1: with you. 406 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:27,960 Speaker 2: And I felt exactly the same. 407 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,600 Speaker 4: I didn't have that conversation, but I was just so 408 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:34,400 Speaker 4: excited to be able to say yes and to spend 409 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:35,400 Speaker 4: the rest of my life with you. 410 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:39,520 Speaker 1: The very, very famous philosopher Elaine de Bauton talks about 411 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,920 Speaker 1: how one reason that marriages fail so much is because 412 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:45,639 Speaker 1: of the growing resentment as couples grow together and discover 413 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:46,879 Speaker 1: that they can't do a lot of the things that 414 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,120 Speaker 1: they once did or what they wanted to do because 415 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,320 Speaker 1: of one another, and I just find that such a 416 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,840 Speaker 1: pessimistic view of what a relationship is. You and I 417 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:56,760 Speaker 1: drive each other mat in a variety of different ways, 418 00:17:56,760 --> 00:18:00,040 Speaker 1: There's no doubt about that, and we've each bought a 419 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:04,119 Speaker 1: whole lot of baggage into our relationship. But I decided 420 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,480 Speaker 1: when I made that commitment to marry you, when I 421 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:08,960 Speaker 1: asked you to marry you at two o'clock on the 422 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,240 Speaker 1: phone that morning, that I was going to love you 423 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:15,640 Speaker 1: more deeply than anyone or anything in my life. And 424 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,000 Speaker 1: that has been one of the most wonderful decisions that 425 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,160 Speaker 1: I've made. So how's that for a happy Valentine's question. 426 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:27,040 Speaker 1: Let's move on to the second one. Numb, Okay, the 427 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,399 Speaker 1: second thing. This is going to be a little bit 428 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:30,840 Speaker 1: of a surprising one and maybe even a little bit 429 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:36,200 Speaker 1: provocative for some people, but attending church together has been 430 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,119 Speaker 1: something that has been a real stabilizing force for us 431 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:43,320 Speaker 1: in our marriage. Brad Wilcox is a UVA University of 432 00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:46,880 Speaker 1: Virginia professor sociology professor. He's just written a book called 433 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:48,560 Speaker 1: Get Married. I'm actually going to have him on the 434 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,440 Speaker 1: podcast in a few weeks to talk about the book 435 00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:53,159 Speaker 1: and the research behind it, But basically, his research shows 436 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:56,400 Speaker 1: that couples who have their faith in common and who 437 00:18:56,440 --> 00:19:00,520 Speaker 1: participate in their religious worship together tend to have higher 438 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:03,320 Speaker 1: levels of marital and life satisfaction than those who don't. Now, 439 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,240 Speaker 1: of course, there's plenty of people who don't have faith 440 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:08,480 Speaker 1: who live wonderfully happy lives and are delightedly happy in 441 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,920 Speaker 1: their marriages. But on average, that's what the difference is 442 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,560 Speaker 1: that exists. And of course there's plenty of churchgoers that 443 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,959 Speaker 1: are miserable. This is not cause, this is correlational. But 444 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:21,360 Speaker 1: for us, what has happened is our core beliefs are common. 445 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:24,040 Speaker 1: We've got our values, we know what they are, we 446 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,960 Speaker 1: stick to them, and we spend a lot of time 447 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:30,040 Speaker 1: in a community that shares those values, and that reinforces 448 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,399 Speaker 1: the value of our marriage. So that would be what 449 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:34,920 Speaker 1: I would say. Our second one is number one, we 450 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,800 Speaker 1: just really really like each other so very much. And 451 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,719 Speaker 1: number two, we have those core values in common and 452 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,440 Speaker 1: we actively practice them. 453 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:46,400 Speaker 4: And I think as we have gone through different challenges 454 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:50,000 Speaker 4: throughout our lives, and some of those have rocked the 455 00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:55,160 Speaker 4: very foundation of everything we believe in, it has been 456 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:59,399 Speaker 4: the commonality that we share in those core values. That 457 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:04,960 Speaker 4: has enable to look towards each other instead of turning away, 458 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,080 Speaker 4: and that has that's made all the difference. 459 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,760 Speaker 1: So that leads into the third big idea that has 460 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:13,399 Speaker 1: I think helped us to have a twenty six year 461 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:16,639 Speaker 1: marriage that just flourishes, that just thrives and brings me 462 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:18,360 Speaker 1: to tears when I think about how great FLA am 463 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,879 Speaker 1: for it. Early in our first year of marriage, I 464 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,240 Speaker 1: think we're about nine months in when we had a 465 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:26,720 Speaker 1: first fight, first argument, and I remember at some point 466 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:30,400 Speaker 1: that in that early stage, during one of our conflicts, 467 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,600 Speaker 1: you said, look, if we're just going to be like this, 468 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,000 Speaker 1: we might as well get divorced or something like that. 469 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,520 Speaker 1: You dropped the D word, and I remember so distinctly. 470 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,199 Speaker 1: I remember stopping you and saying, no, matter what happens 471 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:44,399 Speaker 1: in this marriage, we don't say divorce. It's not in 472 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:49,440 Speaker 1: our vocabulary. Now, with time, I think that I was 473 00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:51,040 Speaker 1: probably a little too strong on that. If there is 474 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,199 Speaker 1: a relationship where there as abuse happening, where somebody is 475 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:56,080 Speaker 1: not safe, divorce has to be an option. There are 476 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:59,879 Speaker 1: some marriages that really shouldn't continue, but fortunately ours is 477 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 1: not one of those. And since that day, you've never 478 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,760 Speaker 1: said the word divorce. It's never come up in our conversation. 479 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,440 Speaker 1: It just hasn't been an option. And I think having 480 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,000 Speaker 1: that level of commitment, we've burnt the boats. There's no 481 00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:15,760 Speaker 1: going back. This is what decision we've made that's been 482 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:19,320 Speaker 1: so fundamental to the level of commitment that we have 483 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,320 Speaker 1: in our marriage. When I look at the very best 484 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:25,480 Speaker 1: marriage research, it shows clearly that the number one predictor 485 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:29,879 Speaker 1: of relationships that work is literally commitment when both couples 486 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:30,640 Speaker 1: are fully committed. 487 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,399 Speaker 2: Well, we've probably bought everyone to tears with our stories. 488 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:34,280 Speaker 1: This great story. 489 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:37,479 Speaker 4: Come on. I'm so hopefully some of our tips may 490 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:38,160 Speaker 4: be helpful. 491 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,119 Speaker 2: But you did tease everyone you won a honeymoon? Yes 492 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:43,200 Speaker 2: with a poem? 493 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,320 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I did say I'd share the poem. Okay, 494 00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:47,080 Speaker 1: here we go. I don't even have it in front 495 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:50,400 Speaker 1: of me. I've memorized it because all these years, here's 496 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:54,280 Speaker 1: how it goes. My love for Kylie makes me swoon. 497 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,920 Speaker 1: I'd love to surprise it with the ultimate honeymoon. We'd 498 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,399 Speaker 1: fly to Fiji. To be more specific, we'd fly first 499 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,000 Speaker 1: class with Air Pacific. Should I win this for my 500 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,320 Speaker 1: beautiful bride, how my heart would swell with pride, and 501 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,000 Speaker 1: many thanks would go to you for helping to make 502 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:06,840 Speaker 1: a dream come true. 503 00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:07,960 Speaker 2: It sounds like an ad. 504 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:09,520 Speaker 1: It's so cheesy, isn't it. But I knew if I 505 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,560 Speaker 1: put the sponsors in and if I gave them what 506 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,400 Speaker 1: they wanted, I had a good chance of winning. 507 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:15,040 Speaker 2: And it worked. 508 00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 1: We won this high, I mean, and it was a 509 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,360 Speaker 1: great honeymoon to tok Rickey Island. It was amazing, absolutely brilliant. 510 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:21,760 Speaker 2: Geez. They set the. 511 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,400 Speaker 4: Standard high from the very beginning and I haven't expected 512 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:25,600 Speaker 4: anything less since. 513 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:29,040 Speaker 1: And so Valentine's Day is a bit of a disappointment 514 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,719 Speaker 1: for you today. The Happy Family's podcast is produced by 515 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,200 Speaker 1: Justin Roland. Craig Bruce is our executive producer. Craig was 516 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:35,960 Speaker 1: the one that convinced us that we had to tell 517 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,080 Speaker 1: this story. If you've stayed with us right to the 518 00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:40,560 Speaker 1: very end, thank you so much for indulging us in 519 00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:43,159 Speaker 1: sharing the story. We hope that it's that brought a 520 00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:45,399 Speaker 1: little bit of light and color and maybe even some 521 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:47,960 Speaker 1: delight to your day. And we hope that our ideas 522 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:51,000 Speaker 1: about what makes marriages strong have been a little bit 523 00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:53,440 Speaker 1: inspiring and helpful for you as well. Thank you so much. 524 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,640 Speaker 1: For listening. We really hope that you have a wonderful, 525 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:59,280 Speaker 1: wonderful Valentine's Day. Tomorrow, we're back on the Happy Families podcast, 526 00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:01,639 Speaker 1: sharing our favoritavorite books of the year so far with 527 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,359 Speaker 1: book Club. If you want more information about making your 528 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:07,560 Speaker 1: family happier, please join us happy families dot com dot 529 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,560 Speaker 1: au or check us out on all of our socials.