1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:04,840 Speaker 1: Real body confidence does not come from having a beautiful daughter. 2 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:07,560 Speaker 1: You know there's plenty of beautiful women out there with 3 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:12,039 Speaker 1: terrible body images. It doesn't even come from helping your 4 00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:15,000 Speaker 1: daughter believe that she's beautiful, because we all know that 5 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:19,479 Speaker 1: most women don't believe that. Real body confidence comes from 6 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,799 Speaker 1: your daughter not caring that much whether or not she 7 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:23,720 Speaker 1: is beautiful. 8 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:38,680 Speaker 2: Welcome back to the Rise and Conquered Podcast. I'm your 9 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:43,800 Speaker 2: host Georgie Stevenson, former lawyer turned entrepreneur, social media personality 10 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 2: and personal development junkie. This podcast is for my girl 11 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:51,600 Speaker 2: gang who want to feed their mind with positive and 12 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:55,360 Speaker 2: expansive thoughts to help them step into their power and 13 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,720 Speaker 2: live their most authentic life. Which had a variety of 14 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 2: topics including mindset, business, relationships, health, and so much more. Basically, 15 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,840 Speaker 2: wherever you are on your journey, I want to help 16 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 2: you feel inspired and empowered to rise up and conquer 17 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 2: your next bold move. I know that's going to look 18 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,479 Speaker 2: different for everyone, but just no, I'm right here by 19 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:21,000 Speaker 2: your side and that you have the RNC community behind you. 20 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:31,560 Speaker 2: Let's do this. Welcome back to the Rise and Conquered 21 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 2: Podcast Today. I am joined by Casey Edwards and Christopher Scallon, 22 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:40,480 Speaker 2: the authors of Raising Girls Who Like Themselves in a 23 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 2: world that tells them their flawed. Between the two of them, 24 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:47,680 Speaker 2: they are both notable writers. Casey is a leading Australian 25 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:51,720 Speaker 2: journalist and best selling author of eight books, and Christopher 26 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 2: is a writer and academic. His work has appeared in 27 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 2: major newspapers and is the husband of Casey. The two 28 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 2: of them wrote a power, powful and inspiring and very 29 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:06,600 Speaker 2: insightful book called Raising Girls Who Like Themselves. This book 30 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:10,080 Speaker 2: needs to be read by literally everyone, so not just 31 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:14,760 Speaker 2: mothers and fathers or future mothers and fathers. I personally 32 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 2: read this book over four days and just completely consumed it. 33 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 2: It really brings lessons and intel in light to some 34 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:28,480 Speaker 2: serious issues that girls face in today's world. So I 35 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:32,440 Speaker 2: know the title is Raising Girls, but honestly, as Casey 36 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:36,040 Speaker 2: and Christopher will chat about in this episode, this book 37 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 2: can be applied to all children. And also, you guys know, 38 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:43,280 Speaker 2: I'm not a mother, but I found it so insightful 39 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:47,400 Speaker 2: because it really got into a lot of my limiting beliefs. 40 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:51,519 Speaker 2: So the book dives into seven qualities that enable girls 41 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:54,640 Speaker 2: to thrive and arm themselves against the world that tells 42 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,400 Speaker 2: them their flawed. The lessons within it will give you 43 00:02:57,440 --> 00:03:00,360 Speaker 2: the tools you need to raise children who like them selves, 44 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:04,680 Speaker 2: who have confidence and drive. So today we are unpacking 45 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 2: it all, guys. Honestly, this episode is epic. I was 46 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:11,720 Speaker 2: so happy to get Casey and Christopher on the show. 47 00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 2: I know you're going to love it. Let's get into it. Casey, Chris, 48 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 2: Welcome to the Rise and Concer Podcast. 49 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,720 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having us on, Georgie. 50 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 2: We are very the rn C fam are very excited. 51 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:30,760 Speaker 2: I did tell them that I was interviewing a couple about, 52 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:34,320 Speaker 2: you know, this very exciting topic. So yeah, we're excited 53 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:38,320 Speaker 2: to get into it. And before we do, I just 54 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:41,280 Speaker 2: want to ask you guys, as this is the Rise 55 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:46,800 Speaker 2: and Conquer Podcast, what is your favorite motto or quote 56 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,600 Speaker 2: or something that helps you rise and conquer. 57 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:55,640 Speaker 1: My favorite motto actually comes from the social scientist Brene Brown, 58 00:03:56,440 --> 00:04:00,680 Speaker 1: and she says that criticism is the entry pro for 59 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:04,120 Speaker 1: the life that you want to live. And that one 60 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 1: statement absolutely changed my life. I could not have had 61 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,119 Speaker 1: the career that I've had as a writer without reframing 62 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 1: what criticism is. And it's had such an impact on 63 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:16,640 Speaker 1: us that we have used that in our book in 64 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:21,800 Speaker 1: Raising Girls Who Like Themselves. We've reframed that advice to 65 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:24,920 Speaker 1: help young girls because we know that by the time 66 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:28,360 Speaker 1: girls get to nine and ten, they are absolutely crippled, 67 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:31,200 Speaker 1: some of them by the fear of criticism and by 68 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 1: what other people think. So we have used Brene Brown's 69 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,840 Speaker 1: research to come up with a technique to actually for 70 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 1: parents to help their girls and their boys learn to 71 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 1: handle teasing and criticism. And so it's in our book. 72 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,680 Speaker 1: But can I just also say that we've created a 73 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:50,240 Speaker 1: mini course just on that topic because it's so important. 74 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 1: So if anyone buys our book via our website, or 75 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:55,480 Speaker 1: if they've already bought our book, if they just let 76 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 1: us know, we will send them access to that course 77 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,720 Speaker 1: and so they can then teach that skill to their 78 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:03,400 Speaker 1: own children. 79 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:07,040 Speaker 2: Wow, I've never heard of that quote. That is well, 80 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:10,240 Speaker 2: obviously I have read it in your book, but I 81 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:14,359 Speaker 2: didn't realize that that was from Brene Brown. And that's 82 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,600 Speaker 2: so powerful. 83 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:19,599 Speaker 1: That's right, because people, particularly girls and women, they make 84 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:24,040 Speaker 1: themselves small and bland because they're so scared of being 85 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,960 Speaker 1: criticized and what other people think of them. And if 86 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,919 Speaker 1: you can reframe that and rather than hide from criticism, 87 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:34,280 Speaker 1: learn how to handle it. Then it is so freeing, 88 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,080 Speaker 1: so that you can just be the person that you 89 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,320 Speaker 1: want to be and live the life that you want 90 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 1: to live without giving your power away to someone else 91 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,200 Speaker 1: to decide if you're okay. 92 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:47,800 Speaker 2: Ough, that is huge. Starting the episode with a bang, 93 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 2: and thank you so much for sharing about that mini course. 94 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,240 Speaker 2: I'll make sure I leave a link in the show 95 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:57,600 Speaker 2: notes for the listeners, But I love Casey and Kris. 96 00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:00,280 Speaker 2: For the listeners who don't know who you are, can 97 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:04,120 Speaker 2: you just explain who you are, what you do, and 98 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:08,360 Speaker 2: also your fabulous book raising girls who like themselves and 99 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 2: what it's about. 100 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:15,919 Speaker 3: Well, we're researchers and writers. We've written. Casey's written six 101 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:20,159 Speaker 3: five books. I think we've co written three books now together, 102 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:24,720 Speaker 3: two of which are fiction. They're young adult fantasy and 103 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:29,240 Speaker 3: so and Casey. Prior to being I write. Prior to 104 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 3: well writing and books alongside, was a columnust with the 105 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:38,280 Speaker 3: nine newspapers, so the Sydney Morning Herald, the Age and 106 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,800 Speaker 3: had a weekly column in that in those papers. So 107 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:46,760 Speaker 3: for about ten years, I'm a researcher and writer. I've 108 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:50,320 Speaker 3: worked at Deacon University here in Melbourne, and I'm teach 109 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:54,919 Speaker 3: in journalism, but my passion it's actually in politics. So 110 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:58,120 Speaker 3: I've sort of span across the humanities and social sciences. 111 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,560 Speaker 3: And we've got to daughters, so we've had we've done 112 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:06,679 Speaker 3: all the writing projects together. And the Laces, of course, 113 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,760 Speaker 3: is raising girls, and that's based on our experience raising 114 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:15,160 Speaker 3: two girls, Violet and Ivy Ivy six, Violet is eleven, 115 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 3: and they're both delightful and they're maddening and they send 116 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 3: us bonkers as well. All of that combined and I 117 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:28,560 Speaker 3: guess the where the book really came from is that 118 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:33,280 Speaker 3: we were researching and writing about, you know, girls and 119 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 3: their experiences experiences, and wanted to do the best that 120 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 3: we could as parents. And we were both at a 121 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 3: party one day and Casey was talking about some of 122 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 3: the research that we've done and some of the reading 123 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,720 Speaker 3: were done, and we were very interested in all the theory. 124 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:52,760 Speaker 3: We thought it was fascinating. And the friend said to us, yeah, yeah, 125 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:56,360 Speaker 3: that's fine, just tell me what I need to do, 126 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 3: just cut to the chase, and that's I just want 127 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,760 Speaker 3: to I don't not that interested in the theory, just 128 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,560 Speaker 3: want to know what to do. So he thought, oh, Okay. 129 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:08,000 Speaker 3: So that's where the kind of the or germination of 130 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,240 Speaker 3: the idea for the book really came from. So I 131 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,440 Speaker 3: was trying to think of, how do we get this 132 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,520 Speaker 3: out there? How do we get what we've learnt out there? 133 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:19,200 Speaker 3: And so that's where the book sort of really arose from. 134 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:24,040 Speaker 3: And it's trying to put that in a one concise 135 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 3: place that you can pick up, that you can dip 136 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:33,319 Speaker 3: into and get clear answers, but I think also more importantly, 137 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:37,040 Speaker 3: get the principles behind the answer. So the answer doesn't 138 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,640 Speaker 3: work for you specifically, it's like, Okay, well I go 139 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 3: back to the principle and I'm going to do something. 140 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,800 Speaker 3: I'm going to try something a little bit different, but 141 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:49,359 Speaker 3: it's kind of still being informed by that principle. 142 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 1: And I think the other reason, certainly for me for 143 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:56,040 Speaker 1: writing the book Raising Girls Who Like Themselves, was that 144 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:59,719 Speaker 1: I wanted my girls to grow up liking themselves more 145 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:03,360 Speaker 1: than I did when I was growing up. And as 146 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 1: we were going through this researching path, it became really 147 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,600 Speaker 1: clear to me that a lot of women and girls 148 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,120 Speaker 1: grow up not liking themselves. When I looked at my 149 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:16,240 Speaker 1: friends and our mothers and the women around us, I 150 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:20,040 Speaker 1: was really struck by how many women feel like they 151 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:25,400 Speaker 1: are not enough, never enough, And it occurred to me 152 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:28,319 Speaker 1: that if we wanted something different for our girls, if 153 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 1: we wanted to break this cycle of insecurity and self 154 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:34,600 Speaker 1: doubt and self loathing, then we actually had to do 155 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:38,640 Speaker 1: something different because what has been happening through the generations 156 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 1: has clearly not worked for a lot of people. But 157 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,680 Speaker 1: there was an even greater urgency to do something different 158 00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:47,439 Speaker 1: because our girls are facing even more challenges than we 159 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 1: were facing when it comes to today's society, with social 160 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:54,280 Speaker 1: media and the pressure on them to perform constantly and 161 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 1: a porn culture and advertising, etc. So it really came 162 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,880 Speaker 1: from a place of wanting something better for my girls. 163 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:06,320 Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow. And when I heard the title of this book, 164 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,440 Speaker 2: when it, you know, popped up in my email, I 165 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:13,080 Speaker 2: think I got an email from Penguin, and I was 166 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:17,200 Speaker 2: just astonished because I've never really, i guess, you know, 167 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:20,320 Speaker 2: seen too much about this and I think it's really 168 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 2: incredible and really proactive. Because I was just telling Casey 169 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,000 Speaker 2: and Chris off Air how I was reading the book, 170 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 2: and a lot of the time it was kind of 171 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:35,160 Speaker 2: like these light bulb moments of Oh, this is why 172 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:38,400 Speaker 2: I feel this way. And you guys know, I've done 173 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 2: a lot of self development and a lot of work 174 00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:45,640 Speaker 2: on myself, which I am so privileged to be able 175 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:48,440 Speaker 2: to do that and to you know, retrain my brain. 176 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:52,679 Speaker 2: But so many of us stuck in this cycle where 177 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,640 Speaker 2: we very much have the same mindset as you know, 178 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,840 Speaker 2: our mothers did, as our grandmothers did. And so I 179 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:01,079 Speaker 2: really love that you guys, you know, have come up 180 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:05,480 Speaker 2: with this, I guess like toolbook and we can kind 181 00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:08,560 Speaker 2: of really stop the thoughts where they stand and have 182 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:12,280 Speaker 2: a look at them, unpack them, and apply them, you know, 183 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:15,840 Speaker 2: to our lives and then our daughters. And I was 184 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:18,200 Speaker 2: also going to ask you guys just quickly before we 185 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 2: get into more of the points I think I know 186 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:25,400 Speaker 2: going to what you're going to say, but is this book, like, 187 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:27,880 Speaker 2: can it only be applied to women? 188 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:32,679 Speaker 1: Absolutely not. We wrote this We focused on girls because 189 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:34,720 Speaker 1: we have girls, so we wanted to stick to our 190 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:39,160 Speaker 1: lane and we didn't want to suggest or advise anything 191 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:43,280 Speaker 1: that we hadn't personally done ourselves. But many of the 192 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:46,120 Speaker 1: issues girls are facing, boys are facing two and non 193 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 1: binary children, and we absolutely want all children to grow 194 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 1: up liking themselves. So we've had many emails now from 195 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 1: boy moms who have read the book and got a 196 00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:59,280 Speaker 1: lot out of it too. I mean, some specific things 197 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,240 Speaker 1: relate to girls, but a lot of the things, the 198 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,880 Speaker 1: pillars that we talk about that every girl needs in 199 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,080 Speaker 1: order to like herself, well every boy needs those pillars 200 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:07,520 Speaker 1: as well. 201 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's exactly what I thought, and I just wanted 202 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 2: to confirm. And also what I found that I'm someone 203 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 2: without children, but what I found so helpful was like 204 00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:23,359 Speaker 2: we were saying off air is it made me be like, oh, 205 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:26,360 Speaker 2: that's why you know I'm such a high achieva, or 206 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,840 Speaker 2: that it makes sense. And I've even found it so 207 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:34,720 Speaker 2: helpful for me personally and retraining a lot of the 208 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,440 Speaker 2: stuff that I feel and I think about that I will, 209 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,840 Speaker 2: you know, obviously then pass on, which I guess is 210 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:44,960 Speaker 2: the main point. But yeah, so let's get into the book, 211 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,720 Speaker 2: because oh my god, I read it. It was amazing. 212 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,400 Speaker 2: RNC fam you have to go and check this out, 213 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 2: even if you don't have kids, even if you have boys, Like, 214 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:58,960 Speaker 2: it's just such an incredible read. And yeah, I just 215 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,120 Speaker 2: like I think I read it like four days. I 216 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:04,400 Speaker 2: was on holidays, and it was incredible So the first 217 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,320 Speaker 2: thing that I really want to chat to you guys 218 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:11,600 Speaker 2: about is the language and behavior and how this can 219 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:15,199 Speaker 2: have such a huge impact, you know, on our kids. 220 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:19,120 Speaker 2: And I guess like my favorite part, and I think 221 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:23,120 Speaker 2: I've even already spoken about this in a solo episode 222 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,440 Speaker 2: case in Chris and I did you know, credit you 223 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:27,360 Speaker 2: guys and said that you're going to come on the pod. 224 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:32,560 Speaker 2: But I really want to chat about power perspective because 225 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,920 Speaker 2: this was huge for me in such a huge AHA movement, 226 00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:40,720 Speaker 2: because I truly see my life in two parts where 227 00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 2: much like you were saying, Casey, previous to me stepping 228 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:50,640 Speaker 2: into the power, stepping into my power, realizing you know, 229 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:54,720 Speaker 2: the potential I have as a person, not trying to 230 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 2: keep myself small and really doing life for myself, not 231 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,079 Speaker 2: for other people or for my parents, and really kind 232 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:06,080 Speaker 2: of stepping into my true, authentic self. I really see 233 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,439 Speaker 2: my life in true parts like before that and then 234 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:12,400 Speaker 2: after that, and I've just had such a huge, I guess, 235 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 2: huge transition in my life where I've stepped into that. 236 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:21,000 Speaker 2: So I really was drawn to this chapter of talking 237 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:24,640 Speaker 2: about powered perspective and how it can be such a 238 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:28,520 Speaker 2: huge thing for our girl's mindset. So I'd love for 239 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:32,320 Speaker 2: you to touch on what is a power perspective and 240 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:35,440 Speaker 2: why it's quite important that we instill this in our 241 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:36,800 Speaker 2: children from a young age. 242 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:42,080 Speaker 3: Well, a power perspective is the idea basically that you 243 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:45,920 Speaker 3: get to decide how you think about the world and 244 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 3: your place in it. And it's really about ensuring that 245 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:54,800 Speaker 3: you don't sort of just assume that default thinking often 246 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 3: is like something happens, we may not like it, we 247 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,840 Speaker 3: may want a different outcome, but we just think we 248 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:04,760 Speaker 3: have no control over that, and you know, just events 249 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:08,320 Speaker 3: wash over us and we're just the victim of circumstance. 250 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:14,000 Speaker 3: It's getting children and adults as well to sort of think, well, 251 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:18,080 Speaker 3: that's a perspective. It's not reality. It's like you can 252 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,160 Speaker 3: change the way in which you think about things. The 253 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:25,560 Speaker 3: psychologists call this and having an internal locus of control. 254 00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:29,880 Speaker 3: And all that means is that you see that when 255 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,520 Speaker 3: you look at the world, you kind of think about, 256 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 3: kind of, Okay, I have a role here. I can 257 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:39,280 Speaker 3: change how I look at this. I can I don't 258 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:42,480 Speaker 3: have to defer to what other people think. Okay, So 259 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:46,160 Speaker 3: it's kind of thinking about that's a perspective. That's one 260 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:47,960 Speaker 3: way of thinking about the world. But I could look 261 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 3: at it this way, and I can choose that, and 262 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 3: I think that's a really important thing, so that you 263 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:56,280 Speaker 3: don't have to accept the world as it's presented to 264 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:59,000 Speaker 3: you and the interpretation of the world, because yeah, we 265 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:02,160 Speaker 3: can say, yep, there's really out there that happened, but 266 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 3: then there's all that interpretive process that we go through 267 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:09,160 Speaker 3: as human beings, and we kind of you know, attach 268 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:13,080 Speaker 3: meanings to things, and that's all very subjective and it's 269 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:15,960 Speaker 3: not necessarily a reality. So we can choose to see 270 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,880 Speaker 3: things in a different way. So a really good example 271 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:22,880 Speaker 3: of this was when Violet had a birthday pay and 272 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:27,680 Speaker 3: she came home with her toys and Ivy helped her 273 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:33,800 Speaker 3: unwrap her presence, helped, and in that helping process, she 274 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:38,320 Speaker 3: Ivy broke one and Violet obviously was very very upset. 275 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:42,480 Speaker 3: She was tearful and she was crying, and you know, 276 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:43,760 Speaker 3: this is kind of tragedy. 277 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:44,800 Speaker 2: Now. 278 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,840 Speaker 3: We our first instinct was to go and make things better, 279 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:51,000 Speaker 3: you know, go and promised that we would buy another toy, 280 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,720 Speaker 3: you know, that we would make it all okay. And 281 00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:57,680 Speaker 3: then we thought, well, no, because that's kind of life, 282 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:01,360 Speaker 3: and actually she's had a really nice day. Sometimes things happen, 283 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:05,119 Speaker 3: and Violet had just had a really nice day, and 284 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,200 Speaker 3: so we had when the tears had subsided a little bit, 285 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:11,399 Speaker 3: we had a conversation with Violet and we tried to 286 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:15,640 Speaker 3: get her, quite deliberately, to change her perspective on the day. 287 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,639 Speaker 3: She could focus on that one broken toy that was 288 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:22,200 Speaker 3: an accident, or she could focus on the lovely day 289 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:24,359 Speaker 3: that she just had with all her friends, all the 290 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:29,199 Speaker 3: other presents that she'd gotten for her birthday, and you know, 291 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:32,399 Speaker 3: think about all of that rather than focusing on the 292 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:36,080 Speaker 3: one broken toy. And it was that's a good example 293 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:38,760 Speaker 3: of how you can kind of do this with your children. 294 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,720 Speaker 3: And it's you've got to choose your moment because you 295 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:44,760 Speaker 3: know they're upset, and that's they're allowed to be upset. 296 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:47,000 Speaker 3: That it's not kind of you know, just packing all 297 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,000 Speaker 3: that down and saying, don't worry about that, focus on this, 298 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:53,680 Speaker 3: actually validating that and saying that's okay. But there's another 299 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:57,240 Speaker 3: lens through which you can see this, and you can 300 00:17:57,280 --> 00:18:01,760 Speaker 3: make that choice about how you perceive that. So it's 301 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,399 Speaker 3: not just about it happened. And this is the only 302 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:08,840 Speaker 3: single interpretation that you can take of it. Another thing 303 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,280 Speaker 3: that we've noticed with the girls is that, and we've 304 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:15,080 Speaker 3: most in our girls, is that they the ways in 305 00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:18,480 Speaker 3: which they will frame what happened to them, and they'll 306 00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:22,040 Speaker 3: often do, first of all, catastrophizing things. So it was 307 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:27,800 Speaker 3: the worst day ever. They're terrible at singing or you know, 308 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:32,120 Speaker 3: drawing or whatever, and so they catastrophize and they use 309 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:35,960 Speaker 3: this language which is really an exaggeration, and something you 310 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,919 Speaker 3: can do as a parent is to really challenge that 311 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:41,679 Speaker 3: and say, what was it the worst day ever? You know, Okay, 312 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,840 Speaker 3: you might not like your drawing at the moment, but 313 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,159 Speaker 3: what could you do to get better? And trying to 314 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 3: think of them what they could do differently in the future, 315 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,160 Speaker 3: how could they practice. And the other thing that we've 316 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:57,360 Speaker 3: noticed our girls do is globalizing as well. So they 317 00:18:57,359 --> 00:19:01,400 Speaker 3: will use language that if I'm bad at one thing, 318 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,679 Speaker 3: or i'm not I don't think I'm as good in 319 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:08,080 Speaker 3: one area, then that translates to everything to every area. 320 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:11,200 Speaker 3: So it's not just I'm bad at maths, I'm actually 321 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:14,800 Speaker 3: a terrible student full stop. And so trying to really 322 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:19,680 Speaker 3: when you listen out for those those ways of describing 323 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,920 Speaker 3: things and now that's all. They are their words. They're 324 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:28,280 Speaker 3: descriptions that were attached to our performance or our what 325 00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:31,120 Speaker 3: we've done. We can challenge them, and we can get 326 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:34,199 Speaker 3: our children to think about other things and maybe have 327 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,840 Speaker 3: a bit of a laugh and think, well, actually, it's 328 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:39,440 Speaker 3: not the worst day ever. There have been far worse 329 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:42,840 Speaker 3: days in history. People have gone through much worse and 330 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,399 Speaker 3: they've come out the other end and they've been okay. 331 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,520 Speaker 3: So it's about you know, listening out for those little 332 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:52,800 Speaker 3: micro moments in our with our kids and then kind 333 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:57,080 Speaker 3: of starting to get them to think about how they 334 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,159 Speaker 3: might reframe that. 335 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:05,239 Speaker 2: Okay, rn C fam, We're taking a quick break and 336 00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:08,200 Speaker 2: I want to ask you, guys, are you getting your 337 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:13,280 Speaker 2: daily recommended intake of three fruits and five veggies? 338 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:14,040 Speaker 1: No? 339 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:20,760 Speaker 2: Sometimes maybe I feel you on this. Wow. So in 340 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:25,040 Speaker 2: a perfect world, we are getting all our vitamin minerals 341 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:29,320 Speaker 2: and needs from our food directly. But because we live 342 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:34,320 Speaker 2: such hectic lives and our soil is often lacking from 343 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:38,679 Speaker 2: so much farming done, that doesn't always happen that and 344 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:42,119 Speaker 2: that's why supplements are so popular, and that's why Naked 345 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:45,000 Speaker 2: Harvest was born just to be you know, very transparent 346 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:48,240 Speaker 2: with you so what we really wanted to do was 347 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,840 Speaker 2: make sure you're getting what you need in a convenient 348 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:57,040 Speaker 2: way when you're not getting your daily recommended intake of veggies. 349 00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:03,160 Speaker 2: In so introducing our new product, Gorgeous Greens, which is 350 00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:07,560 Speaker 2: a greens powder that actually tastes delicious. So we have 351 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:12,199 Speaker 2: been formulating this for quite a while because honestly, it 352 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:15,720 Speaker 2: was so hard to have a greens powder that has 353 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:19,240 Speaker 2: all the good stuff and that tastes delicious, Like I 354 00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:23,440 Speaker 2: honestly get why so many other greens powders just taste 355 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:27,280 Speaker 2: so foul. And honestly, any other greens powder I bought, 356 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 2: I've just never finished and I just throw it away. 357 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:34,080 Speaker 2: So there are two flavors. That is very vanilla and 358 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:38,159 Speaker 2: Mango magic. I recommend getting very vanilla if you just 359 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,080 Speaker 2: want to add it to your smoothies, but if you 360 00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:44,399 Speaker 2: do want to have it by itself, Mango Magic is 361 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:49,040 Speaker 2: so delicious and so flavorsome. Also, guys, the Greens powder 362 00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:53,200 Speaker 2: is gluten free, dairy free, vegan, refined, sugar free, and 363 00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:57,920 Speaker 2: family friendly. So one scoop equals one stefs of veggies, 364 00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:01,640 Speaker 2: so you're really getting veggies at breakfast time. If you're 365 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,959 Speaker 2: a smoothie lover like me, and it just makes it 366 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:10,000 Speaker 2: easier to get all the veggies in and to really 367 00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:14,440 Speaker 2: making sure you're getting the vitamins and minerals you need daily. 368 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:18,520 Speaker 2: So I absolutely know that if you try this product, 369 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:21,320 Speaker 2: you will love it. That's how confident I am with 370 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:25,679 Speaker 2: this greens powder because we have just with aiste we 371 00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:30,960 Speaker 2: ast the flavor. So guys, if you need to get 372 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,320 Speaker 2: some veggies in your day in a more convenient way, 373 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:38,920 Speaker 2: try Gorgeous Greens today. So I do have a sneaky 374 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:43,159 Speaker 2: code for my Riseing Concher family, which is just Rise 375 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,880 Speaker 2: and Conquer podcasts. You can just put that at checkout 376 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 2: at Naked Harvest Supplements dot com and the Gorgeous Greens 377 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:56,200 Speaker 2: is under the wellness tap. Okay, enough about Gorgeous Greens. 378 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:57,760 Speaker 2: Let's get back into the show. 379 00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:05,000 Speaker 1: So underpinning the power perspective is that feelings don't just happen. 380 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:08,760 Speaker 1: So kids think that, you know, there's some triggering event 381 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:10,840 Speaker 1: and then a bad feeling happens and they can't do 382 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,719 Speaker 1: anything about it. But part of the power perspective is 383 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:17,199 Speaker 1: helping kids to understand that a thought happens before the 384 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:20,960 Speaker 1: feeling happens. So there's a triggering event like the broken toy, 385 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,520 Speaker 1: then there's a thought. And so Violet could have thought 386 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:26,960 Speaker 1: about the broken toy and been miserable, or she could 387 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,240 Speaker 1: have thought or put it in perspective and thought about 388 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:31,720 Speaker 1: all the other good things that happened. And that thought 389 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:35,399 Speaker 1: that she chose to have controlled the feeling that she 390 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:39,280 Speaker 1: was going to have. And understanding that you can actually 391 00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:43,040 Speaker 1: practice choosing your thoughts and therefore have better feelings is 392 00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:45,680 Speaker 1: really empowering for kids and for adults. 393 00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:51,040 Speaker 2: I love that explanation, And yeah, I really enjoyed that 394 00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:55,560 Speaker 2: example in the book. Something to touch on that and 395 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,159 Speaker 2: this is just you know, to challenge you guys. And 396 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,800 Speaker 2: something I was thinking about as I was reading this 397 00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:05,320 Speaker 2: chapter was and don't get me wrong, I completely agree. 398 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:10,000 Speaker 2: And I was very lucky that my parents really instilled 399 00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:14,480 Speaker 2: a power perspective, which is I think a huge reason 400 00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:18,320 Speaker 2: why I have a lot of resilience. And I do 401 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:22,119 Speaker 2: also have a lot of awareness about seeing things. I 402 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:24,520 Speaker 2: call it more you know, from a bird eye'es view, 403 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:27,200 Speaker 2: and I can kind of see the bigger picture, which 404 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:31,320 Speaker 2: is been huge for my life. But something I remember, 405 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:35,560 Speaker 2: because I was literally thinking about my mum would do 406 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:37,719 Speaker 2: this thing where, you know, I'd tell her about this 407 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:43,000 Speaker 2: thing this person was mean to me or something or rather, 408 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,719 Speaker 2: and I remember she used to be so optimistic and 409 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,440 Speaker 2: so like, well, can't you think of it this way? 410 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,600 Speaker 2: Maybe they didn't actually mean it, And she would you know, 411 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,800 Speaker 2: come at me like trying to challenge me doing a 412 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:59,800 Speaker 2: lot of these techniques, which wow, so privileged. It's amazing 413 00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:03,439 Speaker 2: that I got that, you know, power perspective training from 414 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:07,000 Speaker 2: when I was so young. But I remember this feeling 415 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,240 Speaker 2: that used to come up for me when I was 416 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:12,560 Speaker 2: a child, and it was almost like I felt like 417 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:17,280 Speaker 2: my feelings weren't validated. So I felt like I couldn't 418 00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:21,800 Speaker 2: come to my mum sometimes because she would just be like, oh, 419 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:25,439 Speaker 2: you know, just be optimistic. I'm sure they didn't mean it, 420 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,879 Speaker 2: and almost brush over it. And I was kind of 421 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 2: sitting there going can we just have you know a 422 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,320 Speaker 2: bit about this person or can you just be on 423 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:37,639 Speaker 2: my side? And I remember kind of craving that validation 424 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:41,399 Speaker 2: from my parents. I don't know if that like the 425 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:43,680 Speaker 2: to go hand in hand, But what are your thoughts 426 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:44,080 Speaker 2: on that? 427 00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:49,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think they're actually separate and what you're describing 428 00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:53,320 Speaker 1: is something that happens a lot to girls, and it's 429 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,159 Speaker 1: part of the good girl syndrome. And this is a 430 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,200 Speaker 1: problem for girls because they grow up, as you said, 431 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:03,280 Speaker 1: not having their feelings validated, feeling like they are wrong 432 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:07,639 Speaker 1: when they feel natural human emotions, like they shouldn't be 433 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:11,000 Speaker 1: angry ever, they shouldn't be jealous, they shouldn't be sad. 434 00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:13,719 Speaker 1: You know, we put this pressure on girls that they 435 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:17,040 Speaker 1: should be Pollyanna and happy and grateful all the time, 436 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,879 Speaker 1: and that is not the human condition. So then it 437 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,440 Speaker 1: leaks out of us in really dysfunctional ways. Right, if 438 00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:27,760 Speaker 1: we can't actually confront conflict face on and have a conversation, 439 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:31,000 Speaker 1: then we bitch about it, it behind the person's back, right, 440 00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,040 Speaker 1: and it eats away at us, making us think that 441 00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:37,399 Speaker 1: we're bad people for having these very natural feelings. So 442 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,120 Speaker 1: I think that we need to separate those two issues 443 00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:46,480 Speaker 1: out that it is absolutely normal to have negative feelings. 444 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:50,040 Speaker 1: But then there gets to a point where you decide 445 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:53,600 Speaker 1: that it's not working for you to maintain those feelings, 446 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:59,200 Speaker 1: that it is not helpful to maintain well, in Violet's 447 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,879 Speaker 1: case in the toy, it's not helpful to maintain the 448 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,639 Speaker 1: sadness and the disappointment over the toy, even though that 449 00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:07,520 Speaker 1: was a perfectly valid response, She's going to feel a 450 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:10,760 Speaker 1: lot happier if she chooses to change her perspective. 451 00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:14,600 Speaker 2: Okay, yep, I get what you're saying. And would that 452 00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:17,639 Speaker 2: kind of be like, do you guys with that specific 453 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:21,240 Speaker 2: example with Violet, be like, you know, we understand your 454 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:25,720 Speaker 2: except you're upset. We totally get it. But here's, you know, 455 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 2: the alternative. 456 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:30,199 Speaker 1: Yet we allow tantrums for that reason. We let them 457 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:34,919 Speaker 1: run their course. We don't try to stop or mute 458 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:39,600 Speaker 1: our girls or distract. Yeah, I think distracting from tantrums 459 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:42,199 Speaker 1: is a really dangerous thing to do for girls. So 460 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:45,320 Speaker 1: sometimes we'll say to our girls, you know, just go 461 00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:47,639 Speaker 1: and have your tantrum in your bedroom, and once you 462 00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:51,400 Speaker 1: feel better, come back. So we want them to understand 463 00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:55,000 Speaker 1: that it is okay to feel and express negative emotions. 464 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:58,320 Speaker 1: But then once we've all calmed down, then we can 465 00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:00,719 Speaker 1: talk about the most helpful way to proceed. 466 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:04,359 Speaker 2: Oh. I love that. I definitely can feel that, Like 467 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:06,480 Speaker 2: that's probably something I still do now where I'm like, 468 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:08,480 Speaker 2: I just need to have some time and then I'll 469 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:12,120 Speaker 2: come back and I'll be fine. That's really good. Thank 470 00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:15,119 Speaker 2: you for touching on that too. I want to switch 471 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:18,879 Speaker 2: gears and I want to chat about how the quest 472 00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:22,240 Speaker 2: for excellence is really pushing our girls to their edge. 473 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:26,679 Speaker 2: And when I was reading this chapter, I resonated with 474 00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:31,359 Speaker 2: it a lot because I definitely would call myself a 475 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:35,800 Speaker 2: high achiever. And I think this was very much rooted 476 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:39,160 Speaker 2: because when I was younger, It's like I didn't really 477 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:44,320 Speaker 2: feel special or noticeable until I, you know, really achieved 478 00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:48,480 Speaker 2: something and felt, you know, felt that way. So then 479 00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:51,840 Speaker 2: it was almost addictive, and I would constantly be wanting 480 00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:54,600 Speaker 2: to do those things to you know, get that love, 481 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:59,040 Speaker 2: get that validation, which is why when I was an adult, 482 00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,520 Speaker 2: I experience a lot of burnout because I was constantly 483 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,400 Speaker 2: trying to, you know, be a high achiever. And so 484 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,360 Speaker 2: I've had to do a lot of work in myself 485 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:12,200 Speaker 2: with my therapist to retrain my brain that I don't 486 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,920 Speaker 2: actually need to be a high achiever, you know, for love, 487 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:18,760 Speaker 2: for acceptance, for validation. So I really love this chapter. 488 00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:23,960 Speaker 2: Could you explain a little bit just about the theories 489 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:26,560 Speaker 2: in this chapter and why it was really important for 490 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:28,000 Speaker 2: you guys to chat about this. 491 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, so before we get onto that specifically, I'll just 492 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,480 Speaker 1: say that what you described is also an extension of 493 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:37,800 Speaker 1: not having a power perspective, because what you were doing 494 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:43,000 Speaker 1: is deferring to external people and external measures to feel 495 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:47,880 Speaker 1: okay about yourself. You were measuring your worth by whether 496 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,160 Speaker 1: or not you got the elephant stamp or the gold star, right, 497 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:54,800 Speaker 1: So that's going back to the power perspective. It's all 498 00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:58,960 Speaker 1: about encouraging our girls to live by their own standards 499 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:02,000 Speaker 1: and decide for themselves if they're okay, not needing to 500 00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:05,640 Speaker 1: compare themselves with other people or external measures to be okay. 501 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:07,600 Speaker 1: That's just that, thank you. 502 00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:10,880 Speaker 3: I think there's another part to this too, that that 503 00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:13,440 Speaker 3: I mean, it's not just you know, there's there's no 504 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:18,520 Speaker 3: surprise that I think children and girls in particular grow 505 00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:22,160 Speaker 3: up with this kind of perfectionism because I think in 506 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:27,520 Speaker 3: our culture now, you know, if you look around, you know, 507 00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:34,400 Speaker 3: the focus of a lot of child activities and parents 508 00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:38,160 Speaker 3: are bombarded with this is not just to have, you know, 509 00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:42,440 Speaker 3: an okay child, but they've got to be absolutely exceptional, 510 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,640 Speaker 3: and they've got to be exceptional of everything. They've got 511 00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:50,440 Speaker 3: to be exceptional at sports, at academic pursuits, at the arts, 512 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:55,560 Speaker 3: and it's all performance, and it's all measured and ranked, 513 00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,320 Speaker 3: and you know, we put our kids into you know, 514 00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:03,200 Speaker 3: competitive processes almost immediately, you know, from a very young age. 515 00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:07,560 Speaker 3: So I think it's kind of surprising if people don't 516 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:10,680 Speaker 3: come out as perfectionists. You know, this is no surprise. 517 00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:13,160 Speaker 3: This is the culture that we've created. There's a whole 518 00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:16,000 Speaker 3: tutoring industry around this to kind of make sure that 519 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:20,040 Speaker 3: your child is exceptional. And it starts really young. It starts, 520 00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:22,840 Speaker 3: and it's starting younger and younger. And I think what 521 00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:27,840 Speaker 3: we talk about an idea of stone versus seed parenting 522 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:32,520 Speaker 3: and stone parenting is where you see your child as 523 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:36,680 Speaker 3: a beautiful block of marble and your job as a 524 00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:40,400 Speaker 3: parent is to get the tools and chip away and 525 00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:44,440 Speaker 3: make them, you know, this kind of ideal childhood child 526 00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:47,200 Speaker 3: and with the ideal childhood and so they've got to 527 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:49,960 Speaker 3: be top of everything. And again this comes back to 528 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:54,240 Speaker 3: external versus internal, that power perspective. We've got a series 529 00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:57,840 Speaker 3: of external measures about what we expect our children to 530 00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:01,040 Speaker 3: be and that comes from a place of love. There's 531 00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:04,960 Speaker 3: no doubt about that that it comes from often wanting 532 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:08,560 Speaker 3: to give your child better things than what you had, 533 00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:11,800 Speaker 3: and to really make their childhood. You know, this filled 534 00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:16,080 Speaker 3: with opportunity. The trouble though, is that the child often 535 00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:19,120 Speaker 3: has no saying any of that. They're trying to go 536 00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:22,360 Speaker 3: along with it, whether they want to or not. And 537 00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:25,040 Speaker 3: the opposite of stone parenting is seed parenting, what we 538 00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:29,120 Speaker 3: call seed parenting, and this is where you enable your 539 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:33,440 Speaker 3: child to you know, grow up in their own time 540 00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:36,480 Speaker 3: and bloom in their own time. So it's kind of 541 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:39,080 Speaker 3: taking their own path. Now you might provide that's not 542 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:41,080 Speaker 3: just to say you just let them kind of, you know, 543 00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,120 Speaker 3: go off in the garden, then go wherever you're still 544 00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:46,360 Speaker 3: like in a garden, it's still kind of there is 545 00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:48,760 Speaker 3: a measure of control. You've got stakes in the ground 546 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:52,880 Speaker 3: where you know, the plant grows in a particular direction, 547 00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:55,520 Speaker 3: but it finds its own way. And so we're not 548 00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:59,440 Speaker 3: sort of saying absolutely no opportunities, you know, just kids 549 00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:03,120 Speaker 3: just go there way. It's about getting back to allowing 550 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:06,720 Speaker 3: them to have a say, allowing them to find out 551 00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:11,000 Speaker 3: who they are in their own time and decide who 552 00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:14,160 Speaker 3: they are and what their values are, and that you 553 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:17,400 Speaker 3: know you So it's about putting down our chisels and 554 00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:20,400 Speaker 3: picking up our watering cans and allowing our kids to 555 00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:21,360 Speaker 3: grow in their own time. 556 00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:24,360 Speaker 1: And this is actually really hard for parents, you know. 557 00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:27,760 Speaker 1: Truth be told, we started off as stone parents. We 558 00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:30,800 Speaker 1: thought that it was our job to sculpt Violet into 559 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:35,360 Speaker 1: this perfect child. But then we realized that by doing that, 560 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:39,360 Speaker 1: we were denying her the opportunity to decide for herself 561 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:41,760 Speaker 1: who she wanted to be and when she wanted to 562 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,680 Speaker 1: be it. And you know, if you boil down, what 563 00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:48,880 Speaker 1: we all want, including children, is to be seen and 564 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:52,760 Speaker 1: valued as we are, and that is something that we 565 00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:56,040 Speaker 1: all crave and it's something that we as parents all 566 00:33:56,080 --> 00:34:00,200 Speaker 1: have the power to give to our children right now. Hmm. 567 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:06,719 Speaker 2: It's just it's huge because I think also, like something 568 00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:10,400 Speaker 2: that I was thinking about while you guys were chatting 569 00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 2: was the fact that you know, I did a law 570 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:19,440 Speaker 2: degree and I finished and was doing family law and 571 00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:23,160 Speaker 2: that was in no way because I actually enjoyed it 572 00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:25,120 Speaker 2: or I thought it was you know, my calling or 573 00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:28,560 Speaker 2: anything like that. It was you know, for this external 574 00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:32,520 Speaker 2: validation or purpose. And then I stopped that. And I 575 00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:34,799 Speaker 2: really feel like what I'm doing now is you know, 576 00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:37,960 Speaker 2: in my true, authentic self, and it just makes me 577 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:41,560 Speaker 2: think of like how many people are not living the 578 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:45,280 Speaker 2: life they actually want to live, because, like you said, 579 00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,319 Speaker 2: they've come from this stone approach where they've really been 580 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:50,040 Speaker 2: chipped into something that's not them. 581 00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:53,319 Speaker 1: My very first book was called thirty something and over 582 00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:55,600 Speaker 1: it what happens when you wake up and don't want 583 00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:58,160 Speaker 1: to go to work ever again. And the whole point 584 00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:00,480 Speaker 1: of that book was I realized when I was thirty 585 00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:03,520 Speaker 1: that I'd never actually made a decision for myself. I 586 00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:07,400 Speaker 1: just followed life's path and followed and did what everyone 587 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,680 Speaker 1: expected of me, the same as you, the high achieving, 588 00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:12,520 Speaker 1: high status career. And then I woke up one morning 589 00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:16,680 Speaker 1: and it all seemed completely pointless and I needed to 590 00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:18,759 Speaker 1: make my own decisions about who I wanted to be 591 00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:19,799 Speaker 1: and what I wanted to do. 592 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:23,279 Speaker 2: Yeah. Huge, And it's like one hundred I resonate with that. 593 00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:23,759 Speaker 3: I was. 594 00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:27,960 Speaker 2: I was twenty three, so you know a bit before. 595 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:32,000 Speaker 2: But yeah, no, that's huge. I absolutely love that you 596 00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:35,440 Speaker 2: touched on that. And so, for example, let's say you 597 00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:38,920 Speaker 2: know your children, they are achieving, they're you're, you know, 598 00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:42,360 Speaker 2: really doing well at something. How can we sort of 599 00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:46,439 Speaker 2: word it and come at a scenario like that where 600 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:50,239 Speaker 2: we're encouraging them but also making sure that they're you know, 601 00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:51,640 Speaker 2: doing it for the right reasons. 602 00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:55,560 Speaker 3: I think that's a lot of you know, is focusing 603 00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:58,319 Speaker 3: on your child's strengths. And I think this is one 604 00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:00,400 Speaker 3: thing that we often don't do. We often have a 605 00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,880 Speaker 3: deficit idea of parenting where we kind of look for 606 00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:06,840 Speaker 3: where they don't measure up and how we have to 607 00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:09,839 Speaker 3: kind of fill in the gaps and make up and 608 00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:14,000 Speaker 3: improve them. And we had this situation one time where 609 00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:18,919 Speaker 3: we went for a a meeting with violence teacher, and 610 00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,479 Speaker 3: I think it was in grade three, and we're sat 611 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:24,040 Speaker 3: there in the classroom, the anty classroom, in the little 612 00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:27,239 Speaker 3: molded plastic chairs, and the teacher asked us. I think 613 00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:29,279 Speaker 3: was one of the first questions. She asked us, what 614 00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:32,640 Speaker 3: are violent strengths? And we both sat there and we 615 00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:36,400 Speaker 3: stumped for a moment, and we had to think, you know, 616 00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:39,520 Speaker 3: there was probably like a stumbling around for an answer, 617 00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:42,920 Speaker 3: and eventually we got there and we came out and 618 00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,920 Speaker 3: we're talking to other parents who were in her class 619 00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:50,040 Speaker 3: and they had been asked the same question and they 620 00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:54,080 Speaker 3: said that they struggled with that question. And it's one 621 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,960 Speaker 3: of the things that we often don't do. We don't 622 00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:00,760 Speaker 3: focus on our children's strengths, we focus on where their weakness, 623 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:04,520 Speaker 3: well their weaknesses might be, or we perceive a weakness 624 00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:07,560 Speaker 3: to be and we try and then make up for it. 625 00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,040 Speaker 3: So I think one of the things you can do 626 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:12,400 Speaker 3: is really focus on what are your daughter's strengths and 627 00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:15,439 Speaker 3: that might be coming you know, just watching what she does, 628 00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,759 Speaker 3: but also might be asking her like what does she 629 00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:23,560 Speaker 3: actually like doing? And watching that where she really finds 630 00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:27,359 Speaker 3: her spark and gets into a state of flow and 631 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:30,759 Speaker 3: just gets lost in something, and then you can kind 632 00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:33,680 Speaker 3: of get ah, that's what you actually really like doing. 633 00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:37,040 Speaker 3: The tricky thing though, is often we kind of because 634 00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,680 Speaker 3: we exist, you know, in today's society, if a child 635 00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:44,279 Speaker 3: shows any aptitude or ability in something, our tendency is 636 00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,640 Speaker 3: then to sign them up for your class and you know, 637 00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:50,799 Speaker 3: really take this to the nth degree. And I kind 638 00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,640 Speaker 3: of wonder whether that's the right approach or kind of 639 00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:55,800 Speaker 3: you know, if they can't allow them to go along 640 00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:58,879 Speaker 3: and develop and then go would you like to take this? 641 00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:01,399 Speaker 3: And you know they're kind of and but ease them 642 00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:04,800 Speaker 3: into it rather than okay, in you know, having these 643 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:08,759 Speaker 3: these these milestones where by a certain date you will 644 00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:11,000 Speaker 3: be or you will come out at the at the 645 00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:14,319 Speaker 3: end of this with these particular skills, because that that 646 00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:17,439 Speaker 3: can often kill that you know, initially enjoyment. It can 647 00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:20,799 Speaker 3: put out that spark that they originally show when it 648 00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:24,480 Speaker 3: just becomes a competition, it becomes, you know, another learning 649 00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:27,080 Speaker 3: outcome to tick off. I think we need to be 650 00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:29,400 Speaker 3: really careful about that. And this comes back to the 651 00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:32,840 Speaker 3: idea of you know, tending that garden. You don't want to, 652 00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:39,600 Speaker 3: you know, do something to destroy that garden and and 653 00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:42,840 Speaker 3: and you know, take it make them develop too quickly 654 00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:45,080 Speaker 3: by a sort of a hot housing approach. 655 00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:48,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, so just because a child is good at something 656 00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:51,560 Speaker 1: doesn't mean that they should necessarily do it. And so 657 00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:54,040 Speaker 1: we write about in the book the joyless piano player 658 00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:57,640 Speaker 1: who's sitting there doing scales and hating every minute of it. 659 00:38:57,719 --> 00:39:01,239 Speaker 1: So I think one of the most important things we 660 00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:04,440 Speaker 1: can do as parents is to help our child find 661 00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:07,680 Speaker 1: their spark, so the thing that they do that makes 662 00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:11,120 Speaker 1: their heart sing. So some adults they spend their whole 663 00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:13,480 Speaker 1: life looking for that one thing that's going to give 664 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:17,000 Speaker 1: the meaning and they don't find it because it's some 665 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:18,840 Speaker 1: people are born knowing what it is. But for a 666 00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:21,000 Speaker 1: lot of people. You've got to try different things. You've 667 00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:24,120 Speaker 1: got to fail, you've got to try something else. And 668 00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:27,480 Speaker 1: a gift that we can give our children is give 669 00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:30,719 Speaker 1: them time when they're young to start that process to 670 00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:32,640 Speaker 1: find the thing that they're born to do. 671 00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:36,680 Speaker 2: I love that. And I was thinking of something funny 672 00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:41,440 Speaker 2: when you were chatting, Casey, because you can kind of 673 00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:45,360 Speaker 2: tell what sort of human I am because when my 674 00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:51,240 Speaker 2: husband he's very into golf. And I remember at one point, 675 00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:55,279 Speaker 2: so he quit his job and he was working in 676 00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:59,120 Speaker 2: our other business, Naked Harvest, and we were kind of 677 00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,360 Speaker 2: lucky enough to be a position where he could do 678 00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:05,560 Speaker 2: that financially, and I said to him, I was like, oh, well, 679 00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:08,320 Speaker 2: like would you want to do because he loves golf 680 00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,120 Speaker 2: and he plays it twice a week and it's like, 681 00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:13,480 Speaker 2: you know, his hobby. And I remember asking him and 682 00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:15,720 Speaker 2: being like, oh, you know, would you want to teach 683 00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,000 Speaker 2: golf or you would you want to do it professionally? 684 00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:20,000 Speaker 2: Like I'm happy for you to go and do that, 685 00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:24,520 Speaker 2: and he was like, Georgia, no, it's my hobby. It's 686 00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:27,280 Speaker 2: the thing I like doing after work. Like not everything 687 00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:30,000 Speaker 2: that you love has to be your job. And I 688 00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:32,840 Speaker 2: was just like, oh, yeah, because I think in my 689 00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:35,560 Speaker 2: mind that's how you know, I work and how I 690 00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:38,080 Speaker 2: do things. And it was like a really good, like 691 00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:40,840 Speaker 2: reminder that we can just have things we enjoy and 692 00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:44,759 Speaker 2: we don't have to pursue them in achieving way. 693 00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:47,719 Speaker 1: We don't have to put all our happiness eggs in 694 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:49,200 Speaker 1: our work busy exactly. 695 00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:54,160 Speaker 2: And yeah, that just made me laugh. Okay, So the 696 00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:56,359 Speaker 2: last topic I want to chat to you about, and 697 00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:59,279 Speaker 2: this really hit home for me, and I think it's 698 00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,640 Speaker 2: something so important and I was, you know, reading some 699 00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:05,359 Speaker 2: of the stats in your book, and it's just it 700 00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:09,440 Speaker 2: makes me so sad that you know, girls so young 701 00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:12,640 Speaker 2: can have body image issues, and I really think it's 702 00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:16,000 Speaker 2: something that as a society we need to work on. 703 00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:20,120 Speaker 2: So I would love for you to guys to chat about, 704 00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:25,960 Speaker 2: you know, these issues in regards to you know, little 705 00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:31,200 Speaker 2: people developing poor body images, where it starts and how 706 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:33,680 Speaker 2: we can help them around that. And something that I 707 00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:36,600 Speaker 2: thought was really cool that you you know, really hit 708 00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:39,359 Speaker 2: home in the book was you know, telling girls to 709 00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:42,840 Speaker 2: love their skin they're in is actually part of the problem, 710 00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:45,560 Speaker 2: which I think a lot of people don't realize. So 711 00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:46,680 Speaker 2: could you go into that. 712 00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:50,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that a lot of the advice that 713 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:53,880 Speaker 1: parents are given to build their daughter's body confidence is 714 00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:57,640 Speaker 1: wrong and is part of the problem. You know, last 715 00:41:57,719 --> 00:42:01,120 Speaker 1: year we heard one of Australia's leading experts in raising 716 00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:04,520 Speaker 1: girls tell a packed audience of parents that they needed 717 00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:08,200 Speaker 1: to tell their daughter more that she was beautiful. And 718 00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:10,840 Speaker 1: so this is the lie that parents are given, that 719 00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:13,520 Speaker 1: you can build your daughter's body confidence by telling her 720 00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:16,600 Speaker 1: over and over that she's beautiful. But the thing is, 721 00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:20,640 Speaker 1: we have been told as adults that we are all beautiful. 722 00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:24,200 Speaker 1: We have been told hundreds of times by the Dove commercial. 723 00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:27,239 Speaker 1: Our friends tell us that we're beautiful. Instagram's full of 724 00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,399 Speaker 1: memes telling us we're all beautiful. But yet we all, 725 00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:34,880 Speaker 1: almost all of women, have problems with their body image. 726 00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:37,680 Speaker 1: And so the thing is we need to think about 727 00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:41,239 Speaker 1: is if this isn't working for us, If telling us 728 00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:44,080 Speaker 1: over and over again is not working for us, why 729 00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:47,080 Speaker 1: on earth would it work for our children. And the 730 00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:50,319 Speaker 1: reason that it doesn't work and it is harmful is twofold. 731 00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:54,799 Speaker 1: The first thing is that nobody in today's society is 732 00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:57,399 Speaker 1: ever going to be beautiful enough. It doesn't matter who 733 00:42:57,440 --> 00:43:00,640 Speaker 1: you are. The standards of beauty are so high and 734 00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:03,640 Speaker 1: so changeable that they are always out of reach. So 735 00:43:03,719 --> 00:43:06,560 Speaker 1: that's the first problem. The second problem is that by 736 00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:09,360 Speaker 1: telling girls over and over again that they are beautiful 737 00:43:09,719 --> 00:43:13,399 Speaker 1: and constantly talking about their appearance and their beauty, they 738 00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:16,600 Speaker 1: will grow up naturally assuming that their beauty is the 739 00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:19,960 Speaker 1: most important thing about them, that it defines their worth 740 00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:22,719 Speaker 1: in the world, that's what people care about. And then 741 00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:25,239 Speaker 1: you put those two things together, and they are going 742 00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:28,279 Speaker 1: to realize that they are failing at the very thing 743 00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:32,680 Speaker 1: they have been told defines their worth. And how can 744 00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:35,360 Speaker 1: they possibly not be crushed? Like, how could you grow 745 00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:38,680 Speaker 1: up liking yourself if you realize that you can't measure 746 00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:41,560 Speaker 1: up at the thing that everyone cares about about you. 747 00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:44,319 Speaker 1: So the thing that we say in our book is 748 00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:49,400 Speaker 1: real body confidence does not come from having a beautiful daughter. 749 00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,120 Speaker 1: You know, there's plenty of beautiful women out there with 750 00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:56,640 Speaker 1: terrible body images. It doesn't even come from helping your 751 00:43:56,719 --> 00:43:59,560 Speaker 1: daughter believe that she's beautiful, because we all know that 752 00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:04,000 Speaker 1: most women don't believe that. Real body confidence comes from 753 00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:07,400 Speaker 1: your daughter not caring that much whether or not she 754 00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:10,520 Speaker 1: is beautiful. So let me just give you an example 755 00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:13,480 Speaker 1: to explain that. So imagine two girls that are very 756 00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:17,279 Speaker 1: similar looking. One of them can be absolutely crippled by 757 00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:21,000 Speaker 1: body hatred, constantly plagued by bad body thoughts, and it 758 00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:24,600 Speaker 1: ruins her day. The other one, who looks very similar, 759 00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:28,839 Speaker 1: can just be busy with life. Her identity and her 760 00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:32,000 Speaker 1: self worth is based on things that she does, things 761 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,600 Speaker 1: that she thinks about. So sure, occasionally she might wish 762 00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:38,760 Speaker 1: for a smaller waist or a different shape nose or whatever, 763 00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:41,960 Speaker 1: but those thoughts will be fleeting to her because her 764 00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:46,279 Speaker 1: identity is not built on how beautiful she is. So 765 00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:50,280 Speaker 1: we've got two different, two similar looking girls, totally different 766 00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:54,479 Speaker 1: body images, and the difference is not how they look, 767 00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:57,719 Speaker 1: it's how much they care whether or not they're beautiful, 768 00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:00,160 Speaker 1: and that will determine whether or not they like them. 769 00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:01,600 Speaker 3: Yeah. 770 00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:05,480 Speaker 2: Wow, that is so huge, and I think, like I 771 00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:11,480 Speaker 2: think it can I can understand where parents may be 772 00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:16,000 Speaker 2: confused because this sort of stuff hasn't been taught, Like, 773 00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:20,960 Speaker 2: no one's really talking about this and instilling it. So yeah, 774 00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:23,640 Speaker 2: I think that's absolutely huge. And I was wondering, do 775 00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:28,319 Speaker 2: you guys have any examples from body image scenarios that 776 00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:29,960 Speaker 2: you've had with your girls? 777 00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:33,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, So one thing that we talk about at any 778 00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:37,840 Speaker 1: opportunity that we can is that all bodies come in 779 00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:42,920 Speaker 1: different shapes and sizes. Some bodies are tall, somebodies are shorter, 780 00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:46,839 Speaker 1: somebodies have more fat, somebodies have less fat, somebodies have 781 00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:50,040 Speaker 1: more hair, somebodies have less hair. And we really want 782 00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:53,840 Speaker 1: to normalize that that bodies are different, they're supposed to 783 00:45:53,880 --> 00:45:58,600 Speaker 1: be different. All bodies are good bodies, and that we 784 00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:03,600 Speaker 1: are constantly talking about what bodies do rather than how 785 00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:05,880 Speaker 1: they look. So we have a rule in our house 786 00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:09,680 Speaker 1: that we don't talk about how bodies look. Anybody's body. 787 00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:12,239 Speaker 1: It's just not a conversation that we have in front 788 00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:15,120 Speaker 1: of our children because we want them to only think 789 00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:18,560 Speaker 1: about their bodies and value their bodies for what they do. 790 00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:23,279 Speaker 3: Another thing there that I think is very difficult is, 791 00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:27,000 Speaker 3: you know, you obviously don't just exist in your own family, 792 00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:30,560 Speaker 3: it's in a society, and you've got family members and 793 00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:35,320 Speaker 3: friends who talk about bodies all the time. They talk about, 794 00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:39,200 Speaker 3: you know, whether someone's lost weight, put on weight, whether 795 00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:42,799 Speaker 3: they're looking young or they're looking old or whatever. And 796 00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:47,200 Speaker 3: something that we've had to do is have conversations with grandparents, 797 00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:51,800 Speaker 3: for example, and other people in our girls' lives about 798 00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,360 Speaker 3: kind of can you not talk about that, because even 799 00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:58,360 Speaker 3: when they mean well and they they're focusing on bodies 800 00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:00,319 Speaker 3: and they're kind of saying, oh, she looks, you know, 801 00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:03,840 Speaker 3: much younger, or she's lost weight or whatever. Again the 802 00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:08,839 Speaker 3: focus is back on their bodies rather than let's just, 803 00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,680 Speaker 3: you know, let's talk about something else, because that seems 804 00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:13,680 Speaker 3: to be kind of like it just comes up over 805 00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:17,000 Speaker 3: and over again. But what I think our girls get 806 00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:21,000 Speaker 3: from that is that, you know, just judging bodies, policing 807 00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:24,440 Speaker 3: how bodies look is just what you do, and we 808 00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:27,279 Speaker 3: kind of want to stop that and say, let's just 809 00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:31,200 Speaker 3: you know, let's change the conversation. Let's change the script 810 00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:34,480 Speaker 3: and have different conversations completely. 811 00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:39,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's it's huge. And I was even thinking about 812 00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:43,480 Speaker 2: because I've come from a disordered eating pass where I've 813 00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:47,440 Speaker 2: had you know, different issues, and I remember a huge, 814 00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:50,560 Speaker 2: huge part when I was getting away from that was 815 00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:55,160 Speaker 2: just not even putting my mind there and having different interests, 816 00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:59,000 Speaker 2: making sure on Instagram, you know, I'm following different things, 817 00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:01,799 Speaker 2: and that was kind of huge to me. And even 818 00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:07,839 Speaker 2: something I've noticed and like my mom, she means so 819 00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:10,600 Speaker 2: well and I absolutely love her and I know she 820 00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:13,800 Speaker 2: loves me, but every time I see her, she will 821 00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:18,200 Speaker 2: comment on my appearance as the compliment, and it's every 822 00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:20,960 Speaker 2: single time she's like, oh my god, George, you were 823 00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:25,280 Speaker 2: just so beautiful. And sometimes I feel like screaming because 824 00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:28,720 Speaker 2: I'm like, there is more to me than how I look. 825 00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,960 Speaker 2: And don't get me wrong, there's other compliments there, but 826 00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:35,399 Speaker 2: I notice that that compliment can almost be a bit 827 00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:39,520 Speaker 2: triggering for me. So I'd love for you to you know, 828 00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:41,879 Speaker 2: the last sort of point there is just touch on 829 00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:47,080 Speaker 2: how we can change that narrative around complimenting someone on 830 00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:47,960 Speaker 2: their appearance. 831 00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:51,839 Speaker 1: Yeah, if we want our girls to build their identity 832 00:48:52,239 --> 00:48:56,000 Speaker 1: on something other than other people's perceptions of their beauty, 833 00:48:56,560 --> 00:49:00,200 Speaker 1: then we need to stop talking about their beauty. This 834 00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:02,719 Speaker 1: doesn't mean that we should never tell our daughters that 835 00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:05,719 Speaker 1: they're beautiful. So our girls know that we think they're beautiful, 836 00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:08,359 Speaker 1: but they also know that we don't care of all 837 00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:11,080 Speaker 1: the things that we love and value about them, it 838 00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:13,560 Speaker 1: is not even on the list. So I think that 839 00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:16,440 Speaker 1: that in itself, if you just made your home a 840 00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:20,160 Speaker 1: place where you're not talking about beauty or appearance, that 841 00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:24,120 Speaker 1: is a radical change that most girls do not grow 842 00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:27,400 Speaker 1: up with the other thing which is harder to do 843 00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:33,280 Speaker 1: is to keep your own negative body talk and expressions 844 00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:36,600 Speaker 1: in check. So, look, I don't have a good body image. 845 00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:39,080 Speaker 1: It is much better than it was because I've done 846 00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:41,040 Speaker 1: a lot of work on it. But you know, I'm 847 00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:44,200 Speaker 1: coming from a childhood where I was constantly policed and 848 00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:47,080 Speaker 1: valued for how I look. But my girls don't know 849 00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:49,480 Speaker 1: that I don't have a good body image, so that 850 00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:52,719 Speaker 1: will never see me standing on scales or wincing in 851 00:49:52,719 --> 00:49:55,839 Speaker 1: front of a mirror. And when bad body thoughts pop 852 00:49:55,880 --> 00:49:58,799 Speaker 1: into my head, as they constantly do, I don't say 853 00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:02,279 Speaker 1: them out loud because where I'm coming from is that 854 00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:04,840 Speaker 1: my girls are not going to learn the language of 855 00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:07,480 Speaker 1: body hatred from me. You know, I need to do 856 00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:11,560 Speaker 1: everything that I can to stop the negative cycle. But 857 00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:14,280 Speaker 1: I just want to say that that if anyone's listening 858 00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:18,040 Speaker 1: now feeling bad because they have been talking about how 859 00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:20,640 Speaker 1: their body looks or how they don't like their body 860 00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:23,680 Speaker 1: in front of their girls, don't feel bad because this 861 00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:27,680 Speaker 1: isn't our fault. We were taught to do this. Girls 862 00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:32,120 Speaker 1: have been taught for generations that women bond over hating 863 00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:35,560 Speaker 1: their bodies. We constantly talk about our flaws, like this 864 00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:37,760 Speaker 1: was the lesson that we were given, So this isn't 865 00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:41,080 Speaker 1: our fault. But the thing is, our girls still have 866 00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:43,879 Speaker 1: a lot of years left. We still have a lot 867 00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:47,200 Speaker 1: of influence over them. So if we stop today, if 868 00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:49,960 Speaker 1: we leave the past in the past, and say, from 869 00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:53,560 Speaker 1: today onwards, my daughter is not going to learn the 870 00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:56,799 Speaker 1: language of body hatred from me, then that is so 871 00:50:57,000 --> 00:50:59,319 Speaker 1: much more than a lot of girls will get, and 872 00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:01,759 Speaker 1: so much more than that she would have got otherwise. 873 00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:05,719 Speaker 2: I love that, and I think that's such a great way. 874 00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:09,239 Speaker 2: And this interview is knowing that. You know, if you 875 00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:12,240 Speaker 2: are reading this book or even listening to this podcast 876 00:51:12,239 --> 00:51:15,080 Speaker 2: and you're like, oh wow, I need to change. There's 877 00:51:15,120 --> 00:51:18,840 Speaker 2: some changes that need to happen. Is it's perfect to 878 00:51:18,880 --> 00:51:23,640 Speaker 2: start today. And you know, the whole start of change 879 00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:26,680 Speaker 2: is awareness. So to have this awareness to want to 880 00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:31,520 Speaker 2: change and to continue that way is huge. So oh 881 00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:34,840 Speaker 2: my god, I really appreciate you two coming on and 882 00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:39,279 Speaker 2: chatting about this very very important topic. And yeah, can 883 00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:42,200 Speaker 2: I just say this book is incredible. I really really 884 00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:45,000 Speaker 2: encourage everyone to go and read it, even if you 885 00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:48,280 Speaker 2: don't have kids, even if you have boys, because yeah, 886 00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:52,760 Speaker 2: there's so many good points in there. So Casey and Chris, 887 00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:55,640 Speaker 2: can you let us know what is next for you guys? 888 00:51:57,040 --> 00:52:00,480 Speaker 3: Well, this book is about it's more than a book 889 00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:04,000 Speaker 3: for us, it's about it's a mission. And I guess 890 00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:06,640 Speaker 3: what's next for us is really spreading the word. It's 891 00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:11,040 Speaker 3: kind of you know, we've done a lot of interviews 892 00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:14,640 Speaker 3: and what's really great about doing them is the conversations 893 00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:18,600 Speaker 3: that you then have with readers, with listeners to podcasts 894 00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:21,000 Speaker 3: like this, and you know, to sort of hear people's 895 00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:24,160 Speaker 3: stories and you know, learn from them as well, and 896 00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:26,880 Speaker 3: to then kind of then have that conversation about all 897 00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:29,680 Speaker 3: what could be done differently, and you know, you then 898 00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:32,640 Speaker 3: use that research that we've done and what we've found 899 00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:36,319 Speaker 3: and to help people on that way. So it's kind 900 00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:39,520 Speaker 3: of getting the word out there and really making sure 901 00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:41,839 Speaker 3: that sort of people know about this that there are 902 00:52:42,480 --> 00:52:45,799 Speaker 3: you know, potential answers, the solutions there, there are things 903 00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:48,239 Speaker 3: that you can do that are different and that we 904 00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:51,200 Speaker 3: can make a difference in our girls' lives. It's not 905 00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:54,080 Speaker 3: just you know, this race has not been run, it's 906 00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:56,640 Speaker 3: not finished yet by any stretch, and that there are 907 00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:58,719 Speaker 3: things that you can do that are different. 908 00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:02,760 Speaker 2: Huge, Well, iron C fam, you've heard it here. First, 909 00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:06,120 Speaker 2: let's get this mission out so so important. Can you 910 00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:08,560 Speaker 2: let everyone know where they can find this book. 911 00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:12,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, so I would like to say that we are 912 00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:15,719 Speaker 1: selling the book through our website, Raising Girls who Like 913 00:53:15,800 --> 00:53:18,320 Speaker 1: Themselves dot com. And if you buy it through our website, 914 00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:21,080 Speaker 1: we will give the free mini course on how to 915 00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:25,520 Speaker 1: handle criticism. But also through our website people can register 916 00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:30,280 Speaker 1: for a free parent masterclass. And in that masterclass, it's online, 917 00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:32,680 Speaker 1: so you can register for it at a convenient time, 918 00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:35,439 Speaker 1: and it's forty minutes where we run through the main 919 00:53:35,520 --> 00:53:38,680 Speaker 1: points of our research and give really concrete strategies that 920 00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:41,880 Speaker 1: parents can use straight away for raising girls who like themselves. 921 00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:44,560 Speaker 1: And that's free, and so you can get that from 922 00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:47,480 Speaker 1: our website, Raising Girls who Like Themselves dot com. 923 00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:53,680 Speaker 2: Amazing. Well, thank you so much, Caseinkris. This has been 924 00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:57,479 Speaker 2: a bloody delight And yeah, I absolutely love the book 925 00:53:57,480 --> 00:53:59,080 Speaker 2: and I was so happy I could get you guys on. 926 00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:01,160 Speaker 1: Thank you, thank for having us so on. We really 927 00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:03,640 Speaker 1: appreciate the opportunity to spread the word. 928 00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:04,919 Speaker 3: Thank you so much. 929 00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:08,759 Speaker 2: Thank you for listening for another rn C episode. I 930 00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:12,000 Speaker 2: really appreciate taking the time to be here with me, 931 00:54:12,239 --> 00:54:15,360 Speaker 2: and also for taking the time for yourself. If you 932 00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:19,359 Speaker 2: found this episode helpful, it would be so amazing if 933 00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:22,040 Speaker 2: you shared it on your stories and tagged us, or 934 00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:24,680 Speaker 2: simply just send it on to a girlfriend or family 935 00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:28,839 Speaker 2: member who would benefit from listening. We are an independent 936 00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:32,400 Speaker 2: podcast run by me and my amazing podcast manager, so 937 00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:34,680 Speaker 2: it would mean the world to us if you left 938 00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:38,399 Speaker 2: a review on the Apple podcast app. Also, if you're 939 00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:41,960 Speaker 2: vibing this podcast and the concepts we're chatting about and 940 00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:45,960 Speaker 2: your craving community, please come and join us over at 941 00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:50,160 Speaker 2: the rn C podcast community Facebook group. Just search Rise 942 00:54:50,239 --> 00:54:54,360 Speaker 2: and Conquer podcast community on Facebook and I will be 943 00:54:54,560 --> 00:55:00,000 Speaker 2: in there to chat to you until next time. 944 00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:19,239 Speaker 3: The Downturn, the thegnity to the