WEBVTT - THE PICKUP - 12th Feb 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:05.320 Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout 0:00:05.360 --> 0:00:09.159 Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We 0:00:09.200 --> 0:00:11.960 pay our respect to their elders past and present and 0:00:12.080 --> 0:00:15.400 extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander 0:00:15.440 --> 0:00:16.160 peoples today. 0:00:16.360 --> 0:00:19.639 This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation. 0:00:39.240 --> 0:00:41.880 Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life 0:00:41.880 --> 0:00:45.040 I Cut. I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and this is the 0:00:45.159 --> 0:00:48.040 Pair Caub. It is our weekly radio show that we 0:00:48.120 --> 0:00:51.520 do together, this happy little family of ours. And yeah, 0:00:51.600 --> 0:00:52.760 we had a big week this week. 0:00:52.880 --> 0:00:53.200 We did. 0:00:53.280 --> 0:00:54.000 We had a big week. 0:00:54.000 --> 0:00:56.400 We got a lot of fact chest did you yeah? 0:00:56.440 --> 0:00:59.440 Did you get off your chest? Brittany hopily, Brittany, I 0:00:59.440 --> 0:01:02.160 can't speak, been trying to do this these tongue time 0:01:02.240 --> 0:01:06.400 things unique to York. Okay, So okay, can anyone do this? 0:01:06.840 --> 0:01:11.039 Just not you like we've been through this, Laura, say, 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:15.600 unique New York five times fast without having a break, 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:17.200 like you neque New York. You need New York, you 0:01:17.200 --> 0:01:20.800 need you. It's really hard. 0:01:20.680 --> 0:01:22.960 Unique new York. You nenique New York. You unique New York. 0:01:24.959 --> 0:01:27.559 So that's another one, you know, because Brittany and Mitchell 0:01:27.640 --> 0:01:30.400 both doing the acting crass trade actors. 0:01:30.480 --> 0:01:31.920 On top of that, we do have a great show. 0:01:31.920 --> 0:01:33.920 We are getting rid of some confessions, that's what it is, 0:01:33.920 --> 0:01:34.840 getting rid of them. 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:37.720 Yeah, get out of it, you throw all, get that 0:01:37.880 --> 0:01:41.000 jusu out, absolutely, get it off your chest or in 0:01:41.040 --> 0:01:43.640 your case, mixtury, off your guts. 0:01:43.400 --> 0:01:46.080 Out of my bow, your bottom. You'll know that we 0:01:46.120 --> 0:01:48.000 went on a little best friend trip to Bali last 0:01:48.080 --> 0:01:50.560 year and I did something in Laura's Barley villa that 0:01:50.680 --> 0:01:52.160 really no one ever needs to hear all. 0:01:52.480 --> 0:01:54.160 No, no, no. I heard about it and thought it 0:01:54.200 --> 0:01:56.640 was my brother in law, and now I know who I. 0:01:56.680 --> 0:01:59.120 Didn't hear about it. I heard it live as it 0:01:59.160 --> 0:02:03.720 was happening. I was stairs show it right. 0:02:04.120 --> 0:02:05.800 Oh, you know, speaking of things coming out of you, 0:02:05.880 --> 0:02:09.799 we had on the show a woman that he's having 0:02:09.840 --> 0:02:11.000 a baby via surrogate. 0:02:11.480 --> 0:02:15.240 I thought this was so interesting. So she is, I mean, 0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:17.560 her friend, her best friend is having a baby. But 0:02:17.600 --> 0:02:19.600 they've just gotten through the first homester and I have 0:02:19.639 --> 0:02:20.880 so many questions around surrogacy. 0:02:20.960 --> 0:02:22.840 Yeah, her best friend is the surrogate. 0:02:22.960 --> 0:02:25.840 Sarrogus is really kind of like becoming a bit of 0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:27.520 a theme on the podcast. We also have an episode 0:02:27.560 --> 0:02:29.840 coming out on Tuesday. Can we just tell them what 0:02:29.840 --> 0:02:33.839 it is? Who it is this Tuesday? Yeah? Rebel Wilson, 0:02:34.320 --> 0:02:35.320 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeay. 0:02:35.919 --> 0:02:39.040 We did an episode with Rebelson last year and it 0:02:39.120 --> 0:02:41.079 was brilliant and a lot has happened in Rebel's life 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:42.799 in the last twelve months, and you guys wanted to 0:02:42.800 --> 0:02:44.200 hear from her again, so we thought why not get 0:02:44.240 --> 0:02:45.560 it back on the podcast. 0:02:45.200 --> 0:02:47.440 And speaking to Lisa, who is the woman who's having 0:02:47.480 --> 0:02:49.720 a surrogate on today's episode, We just thought it was 0:02:49.960 --> 0:02:52.560 such a synchronous, like a bit of synchronicity, the tie 0:02:52.600 --> 0:02:54.440 in the fact that we're speaking to Rebel on Tuesday 0:02:54.480 --> 0:02:57.680 about her surrogacy journey and also her new relationship. 0:02:58.160 --> 0:03:01.440 Yeah, you guys bombard me also with a call to 0:03:01.520 --> 0:03:02.720 my lover in Scotland. 0:03:02.840 --> 0:03:06.240 Yeah, we dial up Glasgow, Scotland. We speak to Ben 0:03:06.320 --> 0:03:07.760 and then Laura and I put the hard word on 0:03:07.800 --> 0:03:09.760 him just I wanted to make sure and so did Laura, 0:03:09.880 --> 0:03:11.480 that his intentions with you were pure. 0:03:12.000 --> 0:03:14.600 Ayea, this was actually led mostly by you, Mitch. Laura 0:03:14.680 --> 0:03:16.680 jumped on board, but you were the one that wanted 0:03:16.680 --> 0:03:17.200 to grill him. 0:03:17.280 --> 0:03:20.280 Listen from man to man, you know, two athletes together talking. 0:03:20.560 --> 0:03:23.080 You have my protective like brother or dad, because that's cute. 0:03:23.080 --> 0:03:23.320 I am. 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:25.359 Yeah, we're all that close, and we just wanted to 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:26.880 make sure that you know he wasn't going to run 0:03:26.880 --> 0:03:29.000 off because we're of those soccer players, they've got reputations. 0:03:29.120 --> 0:03:30.480 When you say he's not going to run off, he's 0:03:30.480 --> 0:03:32.840 already very far away where you're going to run to. 0:03:34.160 --> 0:03:36.640 You can run further, Laura, It's always. 0:03:36.240 --> 0:03:38.560 Further to go. Just sit pretty, couldn't he? 0:03:40.040 --> 0:03:42.440 There are so many more parts to this show. This 0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:44.600 is the highlight of everything that happened this week on 0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:46.760 the pick up. We hope you enjoy it's. 0:03:46.640 --> 0:03:48.280 On the way. I forgot It hit me like a 0:03:48.280 --> 0:03:49.840 ton of bricks when I saw it on TikTok over 0:03:49.840 --> 0:03:52.000 the weekend. That Valentine's Day is but a couple of 0:03:52.040 --> 0:03:54.040 weeks away, and it's good for us love as we're 0:03:54.040 --> 0:03:55.600 all in love. I mean, it's a new Valentine's Day 0:03:55.640 --> 0:03:58.200 for Britt. But we'll have to unpack that loan. There 0:03:58.280 --> 0:04:00.360 is a service that I found over the weeks weekend 0:04:00.560 --> 0:04:03.520 by Animal Friends Humane Society It's based in Ohio in 0:04:03.560 --> 0:04:06.320 the US. What they're offering is for you to name 0:04:06.720 --> 0:04:10.600 a litter tray after your ex partner. Your ex's name 0:04:10.680 --> 0:04:13.440 will be branded on the litter box for all animals 0:04:13.440 --> 0:04:16.560 of different shapes and size poop and different pooh volumes 0:04:16.800 --> 0:04:18.120 to take a pooh on. 0:04:18.279 --> 0:04:20.320 I would like to go for an elephant kitty little 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:22.560 tray if that's okay. I don't know if Helephon's used. 0:04:23.640 --> 0:04:25.760 I would like five dollars. I'll take the whole enclosure, 0:04:25.920 --> 0:04:27.400 just lay some hay down and go for goal. 0:04:27.480 --> 0:04:29.400 And this is cute because I'm going to assume that 0:04:29.680 --> 0:04:32.039 the money the five dollars goes to the shelter and 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:33.360 the animal Society. 0:04:33.440 --> 0:04:35.599 Yes it does. It goes to the Animals Society. They 0:04:35.640 --> 0:04:37.360 do great work and you can go and adopt animals there. 0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:39.200 It's a beautiful place. But this is a brilliant way 0:04:39.400 --> 0:04:41.480 to make money and be to get revenge on a 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:42.080 shitty X. 0:04:42.240 --> 0:04:44.440 I think that this is perfect because like for so 0:04:44.520 --> 0:04:47.520 many people, Valentine's Day is a beautiful day, and then 0:04:47.560 --> 0:04:49.880 for people who have gone through a crappy breakup or 0:04:49.880 --> 0:04:52.080 maybe they have a terrible X, it can be a 0:04:52.120 --> 0:04:54.680 really painful day, and what a nice and funny way 0:04:54.680 --> 0:04:56.839 to get back at someone without actually doing any damage. 0:04:56.920 --> 0:04:57.560 I hate V day. 0:04:57.640 --> 0:04:59.440 Also, the best part about it is that the X 0:04:59.480 --> 0:05:01.120 never has to so this is just for you to 0:05:01.160 --> 0:05:03.040 sleep soundly at night. They never know that they're being 0:05:03.120 --> 0:05:05.280 shut on by a ze bravery night. 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:06.920 Because if I did it, if I got if I 0:05:07.000 --> 0:05:09.760 paid for a Zebra Kitty litter tray, I would want 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:11.159 him to know about it, so I'd probably tweet it. 0:05:11.160 --> 0:05:12.360 I don't have to tweet it, but if I did, I'd 0:05:12.360 --> 0:05:14.360 tweet it and at him. 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:16.320 No, you just put it on your Instagram stories because 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:17.080 you know they're still looking. 0:05:17.120 --> 0:05:18.840 Oh one hundred percent. Wait, do you have an exit? 0:05:18.920 --> 0:05:20.400 You do this to either of you? I know I do. 0:05:21.520 --> 0:05:23.640 Although I got back it, I'm not going to say 0:05:23.640 --> 0:05:27.400 his name on national radio. I definitely got back at him, though. 0:05:27.600 --> 0:05:31.120 I threw his phone off a seven story building and 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:34.240 it landed in a pool when we were going through 0:05:34.240 --> 0:05:34.799 our breakup? 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:36.200 What were you doing on the top of a seven 0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:36.880 story building? 0:05:36.920 --> 0:05:39.120 But that was that was his was his apartment, that's 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:41.479 where he lived. He was on the seventh floor. 0:05:41.600 --> 0:05:43.279 And did he cheat on you? And you found it? 0:05:43.320 --> 0:05:44.279 In the phone, and that's. 0:05:44.120 --> 0:05:47.520 Why I was going through his phone. He had drunkenly 0:05:47.560 --> 0:05:49.520 fallen asleep on the floor next to me, and I 0:05:49.520 --> 0:05:52.320 thought he'd been texting a girl throughout the night. And 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:54.880 I went through his phone and I saw the text messages, 0:05:55.279 --> 0:05:58.000 and I woke him up as I was throwing it 0:05:58.040 --> 0:06:00.560 off the balcony so he could witness it landed in 0:06:00.600 --> 0:06:03.000 the pool, and then I left. I wanted him to. 0:06:03.080 --> 0:06:05.160 I wanted to make sure he knew why he Samsung 0:06:05.240 --> 0:06:05.480 was at. 0:06:05.440 --> 0:06:08.160 The bottom of the pool. He's like, Oh, I'm going 0:06:08.200 --> 0:06:14.719 to get some morning fun, ripped open a window. No, 0:06:15.000 --> 0:06:17.000 I helped my sister get revenge on her X. I 0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:18.760 mean he bought a brand new BMW and he lived 0:06:18.800 --> 0:06:20.720 around the street, so he pulled the windscreen wipers off. 0:06:20.760 --> 0:06:27.000 Meant them he is illegal mine. Actually, I think both 0:06:27.040 --> 0:06:27.400 of you. 0:06:27.800 --> 0:06:30.080 What about you, Britty? Sure you've gone to be honest. 0:06:30.800 --> 0:06:33.360 I'm far too stable. I'm far more stable than either 0:06:33.400 --> 0:06:33.599 of you. 0:06:33.720 --> 0:06:35.880 Wait, is it because you make good dating decisions or 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:37.080 you just have self control? 0:06:37.640 --> 0:06:40.279 No, people shot on me all the time. 0:06:40.279 --> 0:06:42.719 Because our relationships don't last long enough to get revenge. 0:06:42.720 --> 0:06:43.840 There's no point They're not. 0:06:43.760 --> 0:06:46.640 In the country. They're usually overseas, so she can't get 0:06:46.680 --> 0:06:49.800 revenge on them because they're not here. Sorry about that. 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:52.240 Sorry, some play some funeral music for me. 0:06:55.240 --> 0:06:57.560 Time to go, ladies. We've been contacted by a listener 0:06:57.560 --> 0:06:58.360 of the show. I love this. 0:06:58.520 --> 0:07:01.040 We have we have such an interesting story. So Lisa 0:07:01.160 --> 0:07:03.760 is a listener of the show and she is having 0:07:03.800 --> 0:07:06.840 a baby, but she's not currently pregnant, so she's having 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:10.480 a baby through her best friend Sarah, who is carrying 0:07:10.480 --> 0:07:13.480 it via surrogacy for her. Lisa, welcome to the show, 0:07:13.920 --> 0:07:16.400 Thank you, hi, or you're having. 0:07:16.240 --> 0:07:17.840 A baby, So congratulating gradual. 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:19.760 It's a very exciting time. 0:07:20.240 --> 0:07:22.640 It obviously sounds like it's been a long time coming 0:07:22.760 --> 0:07:25.440 because correct me if I'm wrong, but you've had eighteen 0:07:25.520 --> 0:07:26.480 rounds of IVF. 0:07:26.840 --> 0:07:32.360 Yeah, eighteen rounds over eight years, so it's been a long, long, 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:36.280 long time coming and we just announced it about four 0:07:36.360 --> 0:07:39.640 days ago. I feel very raw and very exciting. 0:07:40.360 --> 0:07:42.080 How many weeks along now is? 0:07:42.080 --> 0:07:42.160 Is? 0:07:42.200 --> 0:07:42.840 Sarah? 0:07:42.880 --> 0:07:44.920 We are fourteen and a half. 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:49.280 That's so amazing, and so what's that been like for 0:07:49.440 --> 0:07:52.200 you over the eight years with eighteen rounds of IVF? 0:07:52.400 --> 0:07:57.120 It's excruciating for anyone who's going through it. My hearts 0:07:57.200 --> 0:08:00.280 go out to you. Doing this has been like the 0:08:00.520 --> 0:08:03.520 hardest thing that I've ever been through. Every time it's 0:08:03.560 --> 0:08:07.520 at least thirty injections and then it's the hormones that 0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:08.480 go through you. 0:08:08.760 --> 0:08:11.360 Being a friend, she must have been very aware of 0:08:11.400 --> 0:08:14.440 your IVF journey, But how did you approach the conversation 0:08:14.480 --> 0:08:16.920 of asking her to be a surrogate for you? 0:08:17.080 --> 0:08:19.320 So it doesn't just happen overnight. Sarah and I met 0:08:19.360 --> 0:08:22.840 twelve and a half years ago. We remained like amazing friends. 0:08:22.880 --> 0:08:26.600 We worked on so many projects together. In twenty eighteen, 0:08:27.000 --> 0:08:31.120 when I was in my infancy of my IVS journey, 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:33.840 she said to me, if you ever want a sarrogate, 0:08:34.160 --> 0:08:36.559 it would be my dream to carry a baby. And 0:08:38.000 --> 0:08:40.520 I was like, oh my god, another human would do that. 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:45.280 And then fast forward last year, so March twenty twenty two, 0:08:45.520 --> 0:08:48.760 she texted me and said, Hey, how have IVF Collie. 0:08:48.920 --> 0:08:50.280 I was like, that's a great do it to be 0:08:50.320 --> 0:08:53.440 a surrogate and I'm text She was like, yes, absolutely, 0:08:53.520 --> 0:08:55.360 let's bring a baby in the world. 0:08:55.520 --> 0:09:00.040 Wow, it really does it really happen exactly and organically. 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:04.080 Together for all the scanned. We're like basically together together together, 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:05.319 So it's incredible. 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:08.040 It's a beautiful story, and it sounds great and it 0:09:08.080 --> 0:09:10.160 warms my heart. But then I think my brain goes 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:12.520 to the logistics, like do you have to pay it? 0:09:12.640 --> 0:09:14.080 You have to write a contract, you both have to 0:09:14.080 --> 0:09:16.200 go to a lawyer and sit down Like I'm sure 0:09:16.200 --> 0:09:18.240 it's not as easy as you're making it sound. 0:09:18.760 --> 0:09:21.280 It's not easy at all. And the reason that it's 0:09:21.559 --> 0:09:25.520 probably easier for me is because I've been through eight 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:29.479 years of absolute fricking health. I've been through many iterations 0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:33.600 of logistics and legalities. Before you can't pay someone, it 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:35.520 has to be out of the goodness. 0:09:35.080 --> 0:09:35.640 Of their heart. 0:09:35.800 --> 0:09:38.600 But it's actually not as complex as people may think. 0:09:38.679 --> 0:09:41.160 So basically, what we had to do with her and 0:09:41.200 --> 0:09:44.600 her husband David, me and my hobby to be Steven, 0:09:44.960 --> 0:09:48.320 had to do a three hour counseling session together to 0:09:48.400 --> 0:09:50.920 all get on the same page and kind of work through, Okay, 0:09:50.960 --> 0:09:53.000 how do we all feel about this? So you've got 0:09:53.040 --> 0:09:55.800 to be fairly, you know, in tune with your feelings 0:09:55.800 --> 0:09:58.640 and able to talk about everything and be comfortable. And 0:09:58.760 --> 0:10:01.640 then we had to get legal contracts drawn up on 0:10:01.720 --> 0:10:05.480 both sides just to any anomalies, you know, because as 0:10:05.520 --> 0:10:07.520 you said when you introduced, to imagine if theyre had 0:10:07.520 --> 0:10:09.120 the baby and then we're suddenly. 0:10:08.760 --> 0:10:09.720 Like, I can't let it go. 0:10:10.360 --> 0:10:13.120 So there's a whole lot of legal things. And then 0:10:13.480 --> 0:10:17.280 the surrogate has to have already finished their own families, 0:10:17.280 --> 0:10:20.760 so Sarah and David have three children already, and then 0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:24.319 we cover whilst we can't pay her, we cover every 0:10:24.400 --> 0:10:27.920 single extent for anything to do with her having to 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:31.200 get transport to a scan, or anything to do with medically, 0:10:31.440 --> 0:10:35.680 we cover for Sarah. So yeah, so it's just I 0:10:35.720 --> 0:10:38.600 feel like I've got not only a baby carrier, but 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:41.600 also a very very very best best best friend, Like 0:10:41.679 --> 0:10:42.760 it's amazing. 0:10:43.040 --> 0:10:43.319 Wow. 0:10:43.360 --> 0:10:45.640 Well, I mean, speaking of feelings, what is it like 0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:49.240 going from having these eighteen rounds of IVF to having 0:10:49.280 --> 0:10:52.720 to experience somebody else carrying your baby? What does that 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:53.280 feel like? 0:10:53.679 --> 0:10:56.640 Amazing? And in fact, they have shivers over my whole body, 0:10:56.679 --> 0:11:00.600 as you say, And again it's all perspective. If someone 0:11:00.760 --> 0:11:03.880 was starting today on their journey and they're like, I'm 0:11:03.920 --> 0:11:06.160 going to get a surrogate, like there is no way 0:11:06.280 --> 0:11:08.480 six and a half years ago I really could have 0:11:08.559 --> 0:11:12.359 even fathomed it, whilst my partner Stephen has been amazing. 0:11:12.920 --> 0:11:15.720 Now I've got like a best fricking girlfriend. But every 0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:17.360 day we're like, is he kicking? 0:11:17.440 --> 0:11:18.920 Is he doing this? How are you feeling? 0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:21.719 It's just so beautiful. 0:11:21.920 --> 0:11:25.240 It's truly an incredible gift from your friend and your 0:11:25.280 --> 0:11:27.680 little baby boys. Do you on the second of August? 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:30.200 So we just can't say a bigger congratulations to you. 0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:31.920 It sounds like it's been a long time coming, and 0:11:31.960 --> 0:11:34.640 we wish you all both families the absolute best. 0:11:34.960 --> 0:11:37.440 Oh, thank you so much, and thank you for such 0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:40.000 a beautiful, kind interview. And I hope we can help 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:42.800 a lot of other people that might be considering this. 0:11:44.640 --> 0:11:47.880 Today. We just confess some sins live on the air. 0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:50.480 It's all inspired by the Married at First Sight Confessional week. 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:53.000 It's happening on Channel nine this week. Laura had a 0:11:53.000 --> 0:11:55.120 confession survey I surdy Britt, so we thought let's put 0:11:55.160 --> 0:11:56.920 it out and let our listeners of the pick up 0:11:57.120 --> 0:11:59.280 confess things live on air. We happy to do that, guys. 0:11:59.480 --> 0:12:01.720 Yeah, I want people to make me feel better for 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:02.520 what I just confess. 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:05.600 I agree here is on the line, ill Kira not 0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:08.040 to make things dramatic. What would you like to confess? 0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:12.120 I have five sisters and all of which are blessed 0:12:12.160 --> 0:12:19.160 with amazing boobs, and so I somehow managed to get nothing. 0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:23.840 So behind everyone's back, no one is to know that 0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:26.760 I got a group job, and everyone just thinks that 0:12:26.880 --> 0:12:30.120 I am blossomed late in life, have just grew. 0:12:29.960 --> 0:12:32.280 A set one day. How old were you when you 0:12:32.320 --> 0:12:33.000 got the food job? 0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:36.160 I was early twenties, and no the. 0:12:36.120 --> 0:12:38.679 Ones ever guessed that you had a boob job care 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:40.640 and none of your sisters, who know you very well, 0:12:40.679 --> 0:12:43.560 were surprised that you woke up with Bolton's. 0:12:44.240 --> 0:12:48.960 Yep, exactly like we have a pool in our backyard, 0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:50.400 so like we were swimming. 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:52.559 I'm obviously in bikinis. 0:12:52.720 --> 0:12:55.240 But they everyone just has lots of big boobs in 0:12:55.320 --> 0:12:55.760 my family. 0:12:55.800 --> 0:12:59.240 It's so normal that they're like, oh no, like not 0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:00.199 even a question. 0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:02.520 Have been as okay? Well, then the question is is 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:05.200 how big did you go from back. 0:13:05.080 --> 0:13:07.160 An atap to a d oh. 0:13:09.400 --> 0:13:11.000 Well you like my hormones kicked in? 0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:14.760 Okay, thank you, Kira, great confession. Let's go to Chloe 0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:17.679 on thirteen. Hello Chloe, the airwaves of yours. What is 0:13:17.720 --> 0:13:19.360 your confession? 0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:24.400 My confession is when I found out my ex was 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:29.920 having an affair with someone who's here on a holiday visa, 0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:33.760 I decided immigration should find out. 0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:36.000 That is wow. 0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:39.719 Did the other woman know that he was in the relationship? 0:13:40.480 --> 0:13:43.720 Yes, she was fully aware of it. She actually notified 0:13:43.760 --> 0:13:44.440 me of the affair. 0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:47.280 So what did you say to immigration? Did you like, 0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:50.320 were they over there visa? How did immigration get involved? 0:13:50.679 --> 0:13:53.240 I just passed on some details and mentioned that they 0:13:53.280 --> 0:13:56.160 could just be in breach of visa West it for 0:13:56.200 --> 0:13:58.800 about two weeks before I decided to make the phone call. 0:13:59.080 --> 0:13:59.720 That is big. 0:14:00.000 --> 0:14:02.840 That's what confessions are for, Helen. We promised no judgment. 0:14:02.840 --> 0:14:03.840 What is your confession? 0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:09.640 My confession is that I was in a relationship with 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:14.280 a man. I've had two children with that man, and 0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:15.679 then I had an affair with his brother. 0:14:16.040 --> 0:14:18.520 Oh how long did the affair go? For? 0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:20.800 About two years? 0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:23.280 And then where you deported? Because there's a link here? 0:14:24.200 --> 0:14:26.200 Are you calling it from Hawaii? 0:14:26.680 --> 0:14:29.240 Wait? So did anyone ever find out that you had 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:29.720 the affair? 0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:30.840 Yet? 0:14:30.880 --> 0:14:32.520 We can claim in the end and. 0:14:32.440 --> 0:14:35.600 You're with the brother now, I'm with the brother now? 0:14:36.400 --> 0:14:38.320 Oh my god? 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:42.000 What is the relationship now between your ex and your 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:44.080 now partner. Who is the brother So what's the relationship 0:14:44.080 --> 0:14:45.840 with the brothers and you and your ex? 0:14:46.880 --> 0:14:50.840 Well, they don't have a relationship at all. Yeah, I'm blacklisted. 0:14:51.160 --> 0:14:54.120 We had to go to a funeral of the mother 0:14:54.240 --> 0:14:56.080 in law and that was very awkward. 0:14:56.640 --> 0:14:58.800 What about your kids? How did they take it? 0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:00.640 I took them a while to get on board. But 0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:03.960 my son research to my current partner is uncle daddy. 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:08.920 Oh okay, hell, we probably didn't need to know that. 0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:09.880 I thank you, Helen. 0:15:11.560 --> 0:15:12.960 That's the new term people are going to use. 0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:16.240 Daddy, uncle daddy, do you know what? That's why I 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:19.000 love doing these confessions. I feel like so many people 0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:21.360 are getting around with big, dirty secrets and I want 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:21.800 to know them. 0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:23.960 I feel a bit sick to my stomach. No judgment 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:24.880 to Helen, bless her. 0:15:25.320 --> 0:15:27.040 We have a friend of the show here today and 0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:29.920 I'm excited to introduce you all to her. Lena is 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:33.479 her name, and Lena is in an arranged marriage. 0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:34.760 Now this is a. 0:15:34.720 --> 0:15:38.000 Really different story, So Lena, welcome to the show. Hi. 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:38.800 Hi. 0:15:39.200 --> 0:15:40.600 Firstly, how long have you been married? 0:15:40.640 --> 0:15:40.720 For? 0:15:41.960 --> 0:15:45.160 Fifteen years? We just said our fifteen year anniversary in December. 0:15:45.400 --> 0:15:49.000 Are you happily married? Like, are you guys, yes, wow, do. 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:49.240 You know what? 0:15:49.360 --> 0:15:52.360 Okay? So, when it came to having this wedding or 0:15:52.400 --> 0:15:54.760 your marriage arranged, did you have a choice or was 0:15:54.800 --> 0:15:58.360 it an expectation that you would allow your family members 0:15:58.600 --> 0:16:00.320 to pick your husband for you. 0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:04.440 No, it was completely my choice. And I think the 0:16:04.480 --> 0:16:08.720 times have changed now where the traditional sort of arranged 0:16:08.760 --> 0:16:13.120 marriage only happens in smaller villages. It's very modernized now 0:16:13.160 --> 0:16:17.600 where the girl does get a say in the majority 0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:18.280 of the cases. 0:16:18.640 --> 0:16:20.920 If you had a choice, what part of it makes 0:16:20.920 --> 0:16:21.760 it arrange? 0:16:22.280 --> 0:16:25.480 The fact that the elders actually get together and let 0:16:25.560 --> 0:16:28.280 people know that there's a girl here, and then they 0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:31.400 arrange for the man and the families to come and meet. 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:34.000 That could be several different men. 0:16:34.040 --> 0:16:36.200 Paint the picture of how it works, because the way 0:16:36.200 --> 0:16:37.760 it was described to us is that it was kind 0:16:37.800 --> 0:16:39.040 of a bit like speed data y. 0:16:40.200 --> 0:16:44.800 Yeah, so there could be up to several men coming 0:16:44.840 --> 0:16:48.080 throughout the day. It's almost like an appointment and you 0:16:48.160 --> 0:16:51.160 can sort of judge them or try and judge them 0:16:51.200 --> 0:16:53.840 for the amount of time that you have there in 0:16:53.880 --> 0:16:57.000 front of them. And as an Indian woman, what. 0:16:56.920 --> 0:16:57.720 You would do. 0:16:58.040 --> 0:16:59.960 The one being married has to go and take them 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:03.480 a glass of water, and then you sit down and 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:05.800 sort of not look at each other. But I took 0:17:05.800 --> 0:17:07.879 a really good stare because I mean, that could be 0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:10.720 the beginning of the rest of my life. So yeah, 0:17:10.760 --> 0:17:11.280 So some. 0:17:11.200 --> 0:17:14.119 People don't take that thirty seconds, that minute. They avoid 0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:17.320 eye contact because it's awkward. What did you feel when 0:17:17.359 --> 0:17:20.080 you met your husband, You're sitting opposite him, You're looking 0:17:20.160 --> 0:17:22.720 into his eyes. What was it about looking into your 0:17:22.760 --> 0:17:25.119 now husband's eyes where you're like, this is the one? 0:17:25.640 --> 0:17:28.000 My husband was the first one I looked at. We 0:17:28.080 --> 0:17:30.640 didn't speak at all. I took them water and sat down, 0:17:31.000 --> 0:17:33.760 and then the family members just talked to each other. Really, 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:36.439 two weeks went by and nobody asked me anything. So 0:17:36.480 --> 0:17:38.159