WEBVTT - #49 Kid poops, pooping yourself and finding a pooper 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:01.840 You were saying that men's rings. 0:00:01.520 --> 0:00:06.080 Are well, men are a hard audience. Yeah, to make 0:00:06.200 --> 0:00:07.920 profitable returns for it. 0:00:07.840 --> 0:00:10.000 But also like we break and we lose shit. We 0:00:10.039 --> 0:00:11.920 don't take care of those sort of things as much 0:00:11.960 --> 0:00:13.640 as the women. Folks. 0:00:13.760 --> 0:00:14.640 Where's your wedding ring? 0:00:15.000 --> 0:00:16.840 I don't often wear it, but I was saying that 0:00:16.880 --> 0:00:19.360 I lost a ring ages years ago. 0:00:19.680 --> 0:00:20.400 Not your wedding ring. 0:00:20.520 --> 0:00:22.360 No, No, it was before that. April got me a 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:26.920 ring for something. Anyway. How I lost it was I 0:00:26.960 --> 0:00:33.200 was jerking off what and I dribbled a bit down 0:00:33.240 --> 0:00:36.840 my hand. Ah, I've wiped my hand with some toilet 0:00:36.880 --> 0:00:39.280 power and then thrown it in the bit and flushed 0:00:39.320 --> 0:00:41.680 it before I realized that the ring had come off with. 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:50.120 The that's so disappointing. 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:52.840 I'm one big piece of disappointment. 0:00:54.160 --> 0:00:57.240 It's so disappointing where something that should bring you joy 0:00:57.520 --> 0:00:58.520 ends up hurting you. 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:00.520 Yeah, I know. And then I was like, April was like, 0:01:00.520 --> 0:01:15.640 where's the ring going? I was like, can't find it. 0:01:18.760 --> 0:01:20.560 Welcome back to two Dating Dads. 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:22.840 I am Maddie Jay and I'm Ash. 0:01:22.880 --> 0:01:25.600 This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, 0:01:26.080 --> 0:01:26.960 it is the bad. 0:01:27.280 --> 0:01:29.880 And the episode relatable and. 0:01:29.880 --> 0:01:33.760 If you have come wanting some advice, Unfortunately, this is 0:01:34.160 --> 0:01:37.720 not I repeat not the podcast for you. You will 0:01:37.720 --> 0:01:39.680 not be as I'm sure you can tell from that intro. 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:42.840 We don't sit here and dish at any type of 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:46.720 advice at all. But we are two parents whilst trying 0:01:46.800 --> 0:01:48.840 very hard, making lots of mistakes. 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:51.880 Absolutely, I think you got through that entrance really good. 0:01:51.920 --> 0:01:54.800 Then I just listened to the episode coming out this week. 0:01:55.600 --> 0:01:58.480 What we're doing? What have the name of this podcast? 0:01:58.640 --> 0:01:58.840 Yeah? 0:01:58.840 --> 0:02:03.320 Again, but no, we're back, We're good, good, We're okay, 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:04.120 We're surviving. 0:02:04.200 --> 0:02:07.000 I'm surviving. I have one of those days. Yesterday I 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:07.880 was saying. 0:02:07.680 --> 0:02:08.560 I know you got injured. 0:02:08.560 --> 0:02:09.120 Mate. 0:02:09.720 --> 0:02:11.400 Also, when you messaged me and you told me you 0:02:11.440 --> 0:02:14.480 had an injury, I'm sorry for not giving you nothing. 0:02:14.600 --> 0:02:17.200 I didn't. Sorry so rude. 0:02:17.960 --> 0:02:20.160 I was like, I would have been on my deathbed 0:02:20.200 --> 0:02:22.080 and you were like not today. 0:02:22.400 --> 0:02:24.520 I think it's it's a rich to call it a 0:02:24.560 --> 0:02:25.720 deathbed experience. 0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:28.239 You don't know that, Please tell tell the listeners. It's 0:02:28.280 --> 0:02:29.799 just one of those days where like, oh. 0:02:29.800 --> 0:02:36.359 Wait, sorry, sorry, before before we should have a beer. 0:02:36.840 --> 0:02:43.160 Oh shit, yes, very true. So, as we always do, 0:02:43.200 --> 0:02:45.120 we talk about what we're drinking today thanks to our 0:02:45.120 --> 0:02:47.920 partners at Stonewood and today is something very special, something 0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:51.800 very different. Something some would say is limited. 0:02:52.160 --> 0:02:53.000 It's very limited. 0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:54.760 Actually, it's very very limited. 0:02:54.800 --> 0:02:55.840 It's hard to find these. 0:02:55.960 --> 0:02:57.600 I know it's really hard to find it. We're talking 0:02:57.600 --> 0:03:01.120 about the new Mango pale a. Some are saying it's 0:03:01.160 --> 0:03:02.240 Summer in a can. 0:03:02.560 --> 0:03:05.880 What it's made with real manga pure ash. I don't 0:03:05.880 --> 0:03:07.200 want to talk about it too much long as I 0:03:07.240 --> 0:03:08.200 just really want to have a sip. 0:03:08.680 --> 0:03:11.160 There's got that also, it's got those Galaxy hops in 0:03:11.200 --> 0:03:11.600 it as well. 0:03:11.720 --> 0:03:14.160 They love the Galaxy hopton. 0:03:14.480 --> 0:03:17.040 Now we both haven't tried this, so let's crack it 0:03:17.040 --> 0:03:22.240 open and then we'll give you my feedback. At you one, two, three, Oh, cheers. 0:03:22.720 --> 0:03:25.440 Cheers my friends, Thank you. Oh that smell is very fruity. 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:27.480 Oh that's smooth. 0:03:27.720 --> 0:03:30.480 Yeah mango, that's lovely Funny that you can really taste 0:03:30.480 --> 0:03:30.880 the puree. 0:03:31.000 --> 0:03:34.240 You can, no preservatives, no additives. 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:38.040 Yes, one six, that's easy drinking. Thank you very much, 0:03:38.080 --> 0:03:40.520 Thank you very much. Grab a slice of Summer in 0:03:40.600 --> 0:03:44.240 a Can from Stonewood dot com dot au, or you 0:03:44.240 --> 0:03:48.680 can shop at First Choice Liquor Land nationwide and select 0:03:48.880 --> 0:03:53.440 vintage sellers from Matthew from mid Fab. 0:03:53.760 --> 0:03:55.840 I will also say ash, I'm a big fan of 0:03:55.880 --> 0:04:00.000 the can. It's delicious. Whoever designed that? I just say, well, 0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:01.200 it's nice, it's. 0:04:01.080 --> 0:04:03.880 A beautiful can. And of course what we like to 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:06.640 do is Thankstone would for them, this wouldn't be possible 0:04:06.880 --> 0:04:09.240 our partners in crime. Thank you very much and thank 0:04:09.280 --> 0:04:10.440 you for providing the beers. 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:11.960 Where were we talking about? 0:04:12.000 --> 0:04:12.080 Oh? 0:04:12.160 --> 0:04:16.120 Yes, sorry, your injury injury. Let's hear well you walk 0:04:16.160 --> 0:04:19.000 and I just say you walked in fine? 0:04:19.240 --> 0:04:22.919 Oh yeah I'm fine. I'm not fine, jury's out and 0:04:22.920 --> 0:04:23.760 whether I'm fine? 0:04:24.440 --> 0:04:28.040 So what happened? We were talking about again the beach. 0:04:28.320 --> 0:04:30.240 So yesterday was just one of those days that parents 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:33.479 have where everything's a struggle from getting up, getting the 0:04:33.520 --> 0:04:35.480 kids up out. It's going to be a very hot day. 0:04:35.480 --> 0:04:38.080 So let's get in early so we can go somewhere 0:04:38.120 --> 0:04:41.680 and actually get a car park that's not ten k's 0:04:41.720 --> 0:04:43.960 away from the beach, because all of a sudden everyone 0:04:44.040 --> 0:04:44.920 wants to go to the beach. 0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:48.920 I blame nippers are a bloody nightmare. 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:50.320 Did you have a nippers? 0:04:50.600 --> 0:04:52.839 I did? I lived on the Sunny Coast, for a 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:55.400 year in grade one. I've been around where I maybe 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:56.919 I didn't do nippers. I think it was my sister, 0:04:57.400 --> 0:05:00.680 but juries out whether or I get the girls into. 0:05:00.600 --> 0:05:04.480 Oh I got to do it, kid, Yeah, northy. 0:05:04.640 --> 0:05:06.360 When's Oscar going to start nippers? Oh? 0:05:06.400 --> 0:05:08.520 I think next year, maybe next summer. We'll get on 0:05:08.520 --> 0:05:10.760 to nippers later, but I think it's a very good idea. 0:05:10.880 --> 0:05:13.800 One of those days, you're struggling, struggling, struggle get him 0:05:13.800 --> 0:05:15.960 to the beach. Then you get to the beach and 0:05:15.960 --> 0:05:19.120 then they're like winging and complain about and blah blah 0:05:19.120 --> 0:05:21.640 blah blah blah. Anyway, we're leaving the beach, time to 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:23.760 go home because maybe still does the midday nap, which 0:05:23.760 --> 0:05:25.240 I love because then I get a midday naight and 0:05:25.279 --> 0:05:27.279 you know how much I love my vida. And you 0:05:27.320 --> 0:05:29.279 know what it's like trying to round up the kids 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:32.400 like they've covered in sand. It's a fucking nightmare. So 0:05:32.440 --> 0:05:34.560 we're trying to get them back into the car. Right, 0:05:34.839 --> 0:05:37.440 this is the first thing that's really happened. And there's 0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:41.440 nothing worse than wrangling your kids, like being frustrated that 0:05:41.440 --> 0:05:43.360 they're not listening, trying to get him into a hot 0:05:43.440 --> 0:05:44.680 car so you can start the car. 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:46.840 Do you wash them? Do you get a shower? 0:05:47.360 --> 0:05:48.120 And they hate that. 0:05:48.480 --> 0:05:51.160 It's like washing the acid. One of the hardest things 0:05:51.200 --> 0:05:53.320 about leaving the beach is trying to convince them to 0:05:53.360 --> 0:05:54.159 like get under the water. 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:57.320 I know, I try and trick them. Now, just be like, 0:05:57.360 --> 0:05:58.760 just use the little tap at bottom. And then I 0:05:58.760 --> 0:06:03.120 turned the big one on the so we've done that. 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:05.599 I've tricked them anyway. So there's nothing worse than like 0:06:05.640 --> 0:06:07.560 trying to wrangle and get everything to get no one's 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:10.400 listening to you, and then you accidentally hurt yourself. And 0:06:10.440 --> 0:06:13.359 that's what happened, having a dig at these kids to 0:06:13.440 --> 0:06:15.200 get in your car seat. They want to play in 0:06:15.240 --> 0:06:18.200 the car. They've karen on and I've come around the 0:06:18.200 --> 0:06:22.200 corner at the back of the car, not looking, not 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:25.039 looking at what I'm walking on because the car next 0:06:25.040 --> 0:06:27.159 to me door is open up against my car, so 0:06:27.200 --> 0:06:31.200 I'm concentrating on that. And you know those little concrete 0:06:31.240 --> 0:06:33.039 things at the back of a car park that you 0:06:33.080 --> 0:06:37.039 can roll your tires up against. It's like a pillar thing. Yes, familiar, 0:06:37.200 --> 0:06:42.599 whushka second toe from the end kicked it without looking 0:06:42.600 --> 0:06:47.640 at it at full agitated pays and I went down, baby, 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:48.880 laid down to the ground. 0:06:49.240 --> 0:06:51.800 You used to play soccer, so you've got a strong 0:06:51.920 --> 0:06:54.599 kick on you. And I can only image how it 0:06:54.680 --> 0:06:57.479 must have felt, how. 0:06:57.360 --> 0:07:02.000 I felt, the wrath of like I went to kids, Well, 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:06.040 they their fault, their fault. 0:07:06.800 --> 0:07:09.720 Because like what I mean here, he's like, what would 0:07:09.720 --> 0:07:10.880 the car do? This is on you? 0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:13.119 Yeah, but you weren't in the car. I was trying 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:15.360 to get you to sit in your seat. So that's 0:07:15.400 --> 0:07:17.240 the first thing. And I went down like a sack 0:07:17.320 --> 0:07:22.880 of shit. And it's I can't explain the feeling of 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:26.760 like you've been so frustrated and then that happening. But 0:07:26.920 --> 0:07:29.280 it happened more than once. Yes, so can I see 0:07:29.280 --> 0:07:32.320 the toe? Yeah, give us a little bok. 0:07:33.080 --> 0:07:35.960 Oh shit, can you get that on camera? Yeah? Yeah, 0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:38.800 hold it up a bit closer. There it is, come 0:07:38.840 --> 0:07:39.520 across this way. 0:07:39.520 --> 0:07:41.640 Okay. I'm not that flexible. 0:07:43.800 --> 0:07:45.240 Okay, okay, So. 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:47.720 That was the first thing that happened. Free foot content. 0:07:49.800 --> 0:07:51.400 It does have a bit of a bruise on there. 0:07:51.640 --> 0:07:54.200 I'm sorry, first of all for not paying you any 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:55.920 attention when you messaged me yesterday. 0:07:56.920 --> 0:07:58.080 I think the end's broken. 0:07:58.320 --> 0:08:00.000 You can't do anything about those broken toes. 0:08:00.320 --> 0:08:03.200 That'd be the second toe. Second toe in like six months, 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:04.560 I broke I broke the other one. 0:08:04.640 --> 0:08:05.480 How did you break the other one? 0:08:05.480 --> 0:08:07.960 I kicked it the same thing, but on the corner 0:08:08.000 --> 0:08:10.200 of the kitchen because I was chasing after Maisie who 0:08:10.280 --> 0:08:15.080 had a knife. Why did you always find the knives? 0:08:15.280 --> 0:08:17.640 They probably just stop leaving on the ground. So then 0:08:17.640 --> 0:08:21.120 the second thing was later on in the afternoon. Just 0:08:21.160 --> 0:08:23.320 a full day of this garbage. I can't barely walk 0:08:23.360 --> 0:08:27.040 because my foot hurt so much, and I was yelling 0:08:27.040 --> 0:08:28.680 at the kids to get in the bath, Get in 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:30.920 the bath, Come on. I've made like they're just like 0:08:31.240 --> 0:08:34.480 marking around. And in our hallway. We've got a linen 0:08:34.480 --> 0:08:36.959 cupboard with the door handle that's clearly sticks out like 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:39.760 door handles do. I went to pick up a toy 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:42.040 that was on the ground in front of the door, 0:08:42.640 --> 0:08:46.839 picked it up, leant back up and went bang the 0:08:46.880 --> 0:08:49.960 back of my head on a door handle. Instant headache. 0:08:50.200 --> 0:08:53.520 April's doing the concussion test. I'm livered at this point, 0:08:54.520 --> 0:08:56.440 took off, had a tantrum. 0:08:56.600 --> 0:08:57.559 How's that door looking. 0:08:57.760 --> 0:09:00.880 It's just a few indents, no holes, thank god, because 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:03.840 I've done that once before and it's a rental. Yeah, 0:09:03.880 --> 0:09:06.880 I was like anyway, so it's just one thing after another. 0:09:07.760 --> 0:09:11.480 And then also what happened yesterday is that Macey like 0:09:11.559 --> 0:09:13.920 she must have been constipated or something. So I'm just 0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:16.400 like trying to get her to do a poosh was 0:09:16.440 --> 0:09:21.480 clearly uncomfortable, right, And eventually, after crying and trying to 0:09:21.480 --> 0:09:23.840 push this poo out. And I've said it before, girls 0:09:24.160 --> 0:09:27.240 pooh heart out, boys. 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:30.160 Only when they're toddlers, and once they hit the teens, 0:09:30.200 --> 0:09:31.479 they actually stopped pooing. 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:34.360 And they don't pooh anymore. Rose pearls come out. Yeah, Okay, 0:09:34.440 --> 0:09:35.480 roses really smell like poof. 0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:37.520 That's why they pooh so much when they're toddlers, because 0:09:37.520 --> 0:09:39.400 they have to get all that pooh out when they're 0:09:39.440 --> 0:09:40.360 adults and. 0:09:40.280 --> 0:09:43.160 They don't anymore. Yeah, I told you about that my 0:09:43.200 --> 0:09:47.120 friends whose wife only poohs when he's asleep. It's wild still, 0:09:48.240 --> 0:09:51.560 so Maytie, I no wonder she was so And I 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:52.840 need you to brace yourself for this. 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:54.160 You're gonna show me the shop. 0:09:54.200 --> 0:09:56.640 I'm going to show you the ships. It was. 0:09:57.320 --> 0:09:59.720 I've been well since we've spoken about kids, ship I 0:09:59.720 --> 0:10:03.480 feel are you ready to Oh my god, show. 0:10:03.320 --> 0:10:12.240 Me the girth. Oh for those at home, it looks 0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:14.360 like one of those girthy pickles that we've been given 0:10:14.400 --> 0:10:15.200 the NRL boys. 0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:16.640 Is that a bit of capsicle at the end? 0:10:16.720 --> 0:10:17.319 It's Plato? 0:10:18.720 --> 0:10:21.920 Those plate scheet is unbelievable. 0:10:22.000 --> 0:10:23.640 If you swipe to the next photo, you can see 0:10:23.679 --> 0:10:26.680 the person who it came out of, the tiny little girl. 0:10:27.840 --> 0:10:30.600 She's like happy is Larry after that? 0:10:30.720 --> 0:10:34.000 Oh? My days? That must have is sure April didn't 0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:34.160 do that? 0:10:37.679 --> 0:10:38.480 How is it though? 0:10:39.559 --> 0:10:42.560 Oh my goodness, I've never seen anything like it? 0:10:43.080 --> 0:10:46.080 What did you do with it? It's still kept it 0:10:46.080 --> 0:10:48.600 in a box, a glass box, and you can't flush 0:10:48.679 --> 0:10:52.240 that went straight out to the big bins. If I 0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:53.720 had to flush that, I had to call the plumber. 0:10:54.840 --> 0:10:58.040 It's ginormous. That's the biggest shit I've ever seen. 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:00.320 How much did that way? 0:11:00.880 --> 0:11:03.200 It was pretty like lofty? 0:11:03.520 --> 0:11:05.800 I mean, can we show people that ship can put 0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:07.079 that on on socials? 0:11:07.240 --> 0:11:07.600 Yeah? 0:11:08.160 --> 0:11:09.800 Like that's wow. 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:12.760 Surely that's got to be a record. How did it 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:13.319 come out with you? 0:11:14.000 --> 0:11:15.720 There's got to be some kind of record out there. 0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:19.040 When you compare the ratio of like Pooh to the 0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:22.720 person who did it. It's ginamous, like that's like the 0:11:22.720 --> 0:11:23.640 size of her leg. 0:11:24.040 --> 0:11:25.840 Anyway, that was my day yesterday. 0:11:26.160 --> 0:11:26.800 That's my girl. 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:30.040 I was like, you got to be proud. Yep. 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:32.040 How long did it take her to get that? 0:11:32.080 --> 0:11:34.599 Out? Of? An hour? So I have dealing with that 0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:39.560 with a headache, a concussion and a fucking broken toe. 0:11:40.280 --> 0:11:41.880 Oh wish I could ship like that, I do. 0:11:41.880 --> 0:11:43.760 You know? How could that it feel coming out of 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:44.120 your eyes? 0:11:45.200 --> 0:11:48.600 So cathartic. I'd pay good money to have that come 0:11:48.600 --> 0:11:48.960 out of me. 0:11:49.400 --> 0:11:51.559 Anyway, she's not going to ship for a year now, 0:11:51.679 --> 0:11:56.520 Nah you think Jesus. Anyway, that was me yesterday. Mate. 0:11:56.920 --> 0:12:00.840 Well yeah, again, apologies you deserve from me. You didn't 0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:01.120 get it. 0:12:01.200 --> 0:12:01.960 I didn't get it. 0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:06.120 But hey, speaking of shit, we're just gonna talk about 0:12:06.120 --> 0:12:08.640 shit all day. I just want to say, really, really quickly, 0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:11.959 you had a little laugh at my stories. Yesterday. We 0:12:12.120 --> 0:12:17.080 went to a new park on the weekend. We had 0:12:17.080 --> 0:12:18.400 like a little game of tennis with a girl. 0:12:18.480 --> 0:12:19.480 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:21.320 They loved it. There was a park next door. Once 0:12:21.360 --> 0:12:24.280 our booking ran out, I thought we'll go along to 0:12:24.640 --> 0:12:27.200 this park. And it's not one we normally go to 0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:29.480 because it's it's like, you know, a bit of a 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:31.559 drive from our place. Normally the park for us is 0:12:31.600 --> 0:12:35.560 always walking distance. Yes, you walk back to and and 0:12:35.640 --> 0:12:38.560 Laura had her coffee, a large soy cap in her hand, 0:12:38.600 --> 0:12:39.400 thank you very much. 0:12:39.520 --> 0:12:40.800 Who inducing soy cap? 0:12:40.880 --> 0:12:42.920 And she's looking really worried. She was like looking a 0:12:42.960 --> 0:12:44.840 little bit panicked. And I was like, what's wrong. And 0:12:44.880 --> 0:12:48.320 she's like scanning, scanning, scanning, and I'm like, are you okay, 0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:54.680 and she goes, I'm about to ship myself. And the 0:12:54.800 --> 0:12:59.800 issue was that this particular park in Bondi no public toilets, 0:13:01.040 --> 0:13:05.480 none whatsoever. What happened, well, she started freaking out. So 0:13:05.520 --> 0:13:09.360 she starts like walking across the field like trying to 0:13:09.640 --> 0:13:12.440 there's a church building next door, and she's like, is 0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:14.040 that surely there's public toilets in now, And I'm like, 0:13:14.040 --> 0:13:17.000 I don't think there are. So she's like storming across 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:22.640 the pitch, yawning for a toilet. Couldn't find one. Couldn't 0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:25.079 find one. So kids are having a great time in 0:13:25.160 --> 0:13:29.320 the park, Oh new park, loving it. We're like, we 0:13:29.400 --> 0:13:31.360 have to go home. Only been at the park for 0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:34.560 like fifteen minutes. The Laura was about to shoot herself. 0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:35.319 So did she make it? 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:37.760 She made it. And I do just want to say 0:13:37.960 --> 0:13:40.800 for anyone who's in a situation where they are about 0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:43.920 to ship themselves and they can't find a toilet, there 0:13:44.000 --> 0:13:47.920 is an app out there. It's called oh. 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:48.640 There's an app for this. 0:13:48.920 --> 0:13:53.439 Yeah, the flush toilet finder app Wow tells you exactly 0:13:53.480 --> 0:13:54.560 where all the public toilets are. 0:13:54.920 --> 0:13:56.959 You only found these after because everyone. 0:13:57.040 --> 0:13:59.640 I got so many messages for people saying, hey, dude, 0:13:59.679 --> 0:14:03.000 there's an Yeah. I shit all the time, like a 0:14:03.040 --> 0:14:05.280 couple of times a day, and I always have to 0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:07.480 like know where I'm going, where the closest toilet is. 0:14:07.520 --> 0:14:09.680 Oh my god, so far, So I get that checked. 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:15.560 So yeah, just quickly for anyone who does. 0:14:15.920 --> 0:14:17.559 And you know me, I frequently shipped myself. 0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:18.920 Yeah you should, like four times a day. 0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:22.520 Speaking of shooting myself, I have done it again. 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:23.120 Go on. 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:26.840 I was going to a mate's house on Friday to 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:29.120 go through like his wedding prep stuff because I'm the 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:31.640 MC for his wedding. So and he was like, come up, 0:14:31.960 --> 0:14:33.840 we'll have a barbecue, have a couple of beers, go 0:14:33.880 --> 0:14:36.120 through it, you know, so it's not such a chore. 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:38.520 And I was like, oh easy, so they like it. 0:14:38.960 --> 0:14:40.600 It's like a twelve dollars uber. I was like, i's 0:14:40.640 --> 0:14:43.320 get an uber up there, uber back. Not that I'm poor, 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:47.040 but twelve dollars to dolls. And I was out the 0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:49.680 front waiting for the uber, and I thought I could 0:14:49.680 --> 0:14:51.960 squeeze out a little fart before getting into the uber. 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:52.960 I know where this is going. 0:14:53.800 --> 0:14:54.640 It was liquid. 0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:56.040 Oh gosh, it was. 0:14:56.040 --> 0:14:57.160 A little bit wet. 0:14:57.960 --> 0:15:01.600 It was too late, speaking of you're so quick to 0:15:01.640 --> 0:15:05.840 say to someone else, get that down for goodness sake, 0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:08.680 if you were doing liquid shits when you're trying to fart. 0:15:09.520 --> 0:15:11.440 It was just a bit wet. It was a bit wet. 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:15.680 It was just a bit wet, and I it was 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:19.040 too late to cancel the uber. Don't get that, thankfully. 0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:20.600 It was like a big key carnival. It was like, oh, 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:23.640 sit in the seventh throw. Thanks And then I got 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:25.120 there and I text my mate and I was like, 0:15:26.360 --> 0:15:27.680 just so you know, I'm going to have to just 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:29.160 go straight to the bathroom your house. I think I 0:15:29.160 --> 0:15:31.280 was shipped myself and I'm in the back of this uber. 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:34.600 Tried not to smell right now or I don't know. 0:15:34.720 --> 0:15:35.960 I'm still like I'm sure. 0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:38.920 You like, actually no air con, just wind the windows. 0:15:38.600 --> 0:15:43.120 Down fresh air conditioning and then got there went checked 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:48.160 little sharp, So I apologize to the Uber driver. I 0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:51.880 wonder why I only got one star, but I just thought, 0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:54.360 actually completely forgot because I was so embarrassed. I buried 0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:58.320 it so deep. But Laura's vulnerability has been able to 0:15:58.400 --> 0:16:01.480 let me tell my story. Thank you, Laura. 0:16:01.640 --> 0:16:04.440 There is nothing more stressful than that feeling of like 0:16:05.160 --> 0:16:08.320 if I was to relax right now, I would shit myself. 0:16:08.920 --> 0:16:11.560 And knowing that you're so far from your own toilet, 0:16:11.840 --> 0:16:14.720 and also not knowing where the nearest toilet is. That's 0:16:14.720 --> 0:16:16.280 an anxiety that I wish upon no one. 0:16:16.400 --> 0:16:18.320 No, I've got anxiety as it is. That would be 0:16:18.440 --> 0:16:20.760 something I just don't need. My asshole was just decided 0:16:20.800 --> 0:16:23.320 to let it happen. Just shit yourself, bro. 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:26.840 This podcast really didn't talk a lot about shit anyway. 0:16:27.000 --> 0:16:29.160 Just today that's enough about shit. 0:16:29.680 --> 0:16:32.480 Well, this one's not shit related. Two things I want 0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:36.640 to talk about ashes really quickly. The first is just 0:16:36.680 --> 0:16:39.800 a quick update on Lola. Oh yeah, quick little update 0:16:39.840 --> 0:16:42.160 on Lola. I have been talking a lot about the 0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:44.960 fact that she hates me, does not want anything to 0:16:44.960 --> 0:16:49.840 do with me. I made such good progress on the weekend. 0:16:50.240 --> 0:16:52.880 It's making such good progress. A lot of people said 0:16:52.920 --> 0:16:54.560 to me. All you need to do is make sure 0:16:54.600 --> 0:16:57.760 that you guys have little experiences together, just the two 0:16:57.800 --> 0:17:01.960 of you, things that she and enjoys. Just keep doing that, 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:05.600 keep chipping away, and she'll turn it around and she'll 0:17:05.600 --> 0:17:08.199 come good and she'll start to like you again. So 0:17:08.359 --> 0:17:11.879 all weekend I was putting in so much effort. She 0:17:11.960 --> 0:17:13.439 could have come at me with a knife, and I'm like, 0:17:13.480 --> 0:17:15.240 that's fine, you can stab me. 0:17:15.359 --> 0:17:16.359 We're all away. 0:17:16.840 --> 0:17:18.360 I'm not going to say no to you at all. 0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:21.320 So we went to the park. We've got Baby Chino's. 0:17:21.320 --> 0:17:24.520 We did painting together, just anything that she wanted to do. 0:17:24.560 --> 0:17:27.119 I was like, this is great. As long as you're happy, 0:17:27.520 --> 0:17:30.520 I don't care. And then on the couch a bit 0:17:30.520 --> 0:17:34.680 a quiet time in the afternoon, she let me cuddle 0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:38.119 her as we're watching TV, and I was like, hall. 0:17:38.000 --> 0:17:51.360 Au halle halleu yah, hall are you what's fun? Halleyll helleluyah, hallelujah. 0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:52.960 This is good. 0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:56.840 At four or five deep, hallelujah. 0:17:57.320 --> 0:18:00.320 There we go. Sorry for everyone playing. Oh I'm having 0:18:00.320 --> 0:18:00.720 a stroke. 0:18:01.560 --> 0:18:02.320 Hall are you yeah. 0:18:03.680 --> 0:18:06.320 So anyway, she's letting me cuddle her nice and afterwards 0:18:06.320 --> 0:18:08.159 she's like, Daddy, can we make a thought together? And 0:18:08.200 --> 0:18:11.159 I was like, oh, yeah, absolutely, we can make a 0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:14.400 thought together. I thought you'd never ask, and I did 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:20.480 something sent me back, Oh what did you do? Damn shame? 0:18:20.720 --> 0:18:21.960 He called her Maley or something. 0:18:23.200 --> 0:18:26.280 As we went into the room downstairs to build a fort. 0:18:26.840 --> 0:18:29.639 And this was this was a silly little mistake. It 0:18:29.640 --> 0:18:30.280 was an accident. 0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:31.240 We all make mistakes. 0:18:31.600 --> 0:18:34.760 And she was in front of me, right and this 0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:37.800