Speaker 1: Lifeln Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands
Speaker 1: were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders
Speaker 1: past and present.
Speaker 2: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
Speaker 2: recorded on de rug wallamut Land.
Speaker 3: Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life
Speaker 3: un Cut. I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and I am on
Speaker 3: the biggest come down.
Speaker 1: People calling it PTSD post Taylor Swift Down, which I
Speaker 1: don't think you can.
Speaker 3: I know, I don't know if you can. I think
Speaker 3: we'll get canceled for that. I went to Taylor Swift
Speaker 3: last night.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 3: No, Laura, you went Friday night. It was come down
Speaker 3: the best night of my plumbdown.
Speaker 2: You know, Okay, there's two types of people in the
Speaker 2: world right now, Brittany and Laura.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: No, there's people who have been to Taylor Swift so
Speaker 2: they understand this, and then there's people who haven't and
Speaker 2: they're sick of hearing about it, And they're the only
Speaker 2: two types of people that exist at the moment. People
Speaker 2: who were totally over it.
Speaker 1: Well, sorry for the next thirty seconds, you guys gonna
Speaker 1: hear me say it was the best night of my life.
Speaker 3: People who will never ever fingering something? Why who talks
Speaker 3: like this? I was giving you the one and the two?
Speaker 3: Didn't you like that? You were literally looking at me.
Speaker 3: She's looking at me like she's got two fingers, like
Speaker 3: she's figuring something. She's like, okay.
Speaker 2: So for context, brute went last night and so she's
Speaker 2: rolled in today still with the sequence and shit in
Speaker 2: her hair.
Speaker 1: I've got the bean to my hair steal because I
Speaker 1: was really feeling like I didn't want to let it
Speaker 1: go yet this era of my life?
Speaker 3: What is the era? The Brittany Taylor Swift era?
Speaker 2: But I went on Friday night and now it's Monday.
Speaker 2: I'm over the hump. I'm over the hump of the high.
Speaker 2: It was incredible. It was amazing. It was everything that
Speaker 2: I expected it to be from everybody else's hype that
Speaker 2: I had kind of you know, seen, witnessed and experienced.
Speaker 3: But it was phenomenal.
Speaker 1: It was better than I expected, I can say. So
Speaker 1: I went to Taylor Swift I think twenty eighteen when
Speaker 1: she was here for reputation tour, so I had seen
Speaker 1: her before. I know she's amazing, and I knew this
Speaker 1: show was going to be incredible, but it exceeded expectations.
Speaker 1: It was ten times bigger and better than her reputation tour.
Speaker 1: Like her Reputation tour was amazing, but this was just
Speaker 1: I just don't know of another artist in the world
Speaker 1: that would put on a show for four hours, non stop,
Speaker 1: with the effects that she has, the screens, the choreography,
Speaker 1: the dance. She did not stop singing. She was never paffed,
Speaker 1: like everything was incredible. I just I cannot fault it.
Speaker 2: I was paffed and I was literally just standing on
Speaker 2: the same water brag.
Speaker 3: When I left, I had flats on.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm exhausted, my back hurts, my feet hurt.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, imagine Taylor doing that for
Speaker 1: three years, you know, four hours a night, four nights
Speaker 1: in a row. Then she travels and she does it
Speaker 1: again for three years. And I was just from jumping.
Speaker 1: My arms are sore, like I've done a workout from
Speaker 1: this pumping. I fist pumped for three hours, and this.
Speaker 3: Morning I was like, why am I triceps? Social?
Speaker 2: Well, this is apparently why she runs on a treadmill
Speaker 2: for two hours and sings the time like for her cardio.
Speaker 3: I think She's just incredible.
Speaker 2: It was a very well oiled machine in terms of
Speaker 2: concert and Britain and I were just comparing notes as well,
Speaker 2: because obviously went to separate ones. If you went to
Speaker 2: the concert, you guys are going to know the moment
Speaker 2: we're talking about. But Britt was like, there was this
Speaker 2: one moment where she was sitting on her piano and
Speaker 2: everyone was screaming, and I was like, yeah, she did
Speaker 2: the same thing at the concert that I went to,
Speaker 2: So I feel like, even.
Speaker 3: Though everyone screams the whole time anyway, no.
Speaker 2: But there's this I mean, there was this really like amazing,
Speaker 2: profound moment which was sitting at the moss covered piano
Speaker 2: and everyone was absolutely losing it for an extended period
Speaker 2: of time and She's basking in that moment of screaming,
Speaker 2: And to me, I would think, well, the thing that
Speaker 2: I was most impressed by was how well oiled the
Speaker 2: machine was. Like every single thing she did on stage,
Speaker 2: she knew she was going to do that thing on stage.
Speaker 2: You know, it's absolutely it's scripted, it's ready to go,
Speaker 2: and she can roll it out for the next night
Speaker 2: and get the same type of response, which is incredible.
Speaker 1: Okay, I just feel like I need to have a
Speaker 1: sit down with Taylor. I'm on the fence with Travis
Speaker 1: Kelcey was really pro Travis Kelcey, Like, I was like, okay, great,
Speaker 1: You've got this new, different kind of love that you've
Speaker 1: never experienced. You're not hiding anything now.
Speaker 3: You don't like the guy? What did he do? He
Speaker 3: gave you the ick? Yeah, because you know what he did?
Speaker 3: What a dickhead?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 3: You've got Taylor Swift, the.
Speaker 1: Most beautiful, young, intelligent, rich, amazing, humble girlfriend, and you
Speaker 1: published he flew out of allegedly he allegedly flew out
Speaker 1: of Australia yesterday. He flew in for like one show whatever,
Speaker 1: flew back straight away and straight away he's been photographed
Speaker 1: gone straight to a strip club surrounded by women, like
Speaker 1: photos have gone everywhere in the last twenty four hours.
Speaker 2: Was it a strip club or just at a club?
Speaker 2: I think said strip club? I know, I think you're
Speaker 2: conflating two articles. You didn't hear the stories here first,
Speaker 2: because I think we're gonna get ourselves in trouble. I'm
Speaker 2: pretty sure he just went to a nightclub and he
Speaker 2: was photographed with women. And then there was another article
Speaker 2: saying that Taylor Swift has bannedhim from strip clubs.
Speaker 3: I think that two yes, a Whidy band song from
Speaker 3: strip clubs.
Speaker 2: I just stopped believing the shit that you read, Brett.
Speaker 3: But for a second, I'm.
Speaker 1: Allowed to talk about Taylor's lif life, and I just
Speaker 1: think I want her to be in loved so bad.
Speaker 1: But a week ago, I was like, they're going to
Speaker 1: get married, and now I'm like, I think he's going
Speaker 1: to be too bad for her reputation and her image,
Speaker 1: which she looks after so well, and I think he's
Speaker 1: going to be detrimental to that. So I reckon she's
Speaker 1: gonna Oh my god, imagine the album I know and.
Speaker 3: They break up. I'm ready for it. Oh my good god,
Speaker 3: all this, all the fun that was not in Megan Stop,
Speaker 3: Megan stop.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: The only thing I do want to say before we
Speaker 2: round out the Tailor Swift commentary, because I know, like
Speaker 2: I said, so many of you are sick of it.
Speaker 2: What I thought was very very cool and something that
Speaker 2: I have not seen at any other concert. We all
Speaker 2: know how sick I was with Blink one eighty two.
Speaker 2: The thing I thought was so cool about this is
Speaker 2: that not only does Taylor Swift have the nostalgia piece
Speaker 2: because she's been around now for so long making music,
Speaker 2: But she also is relating to such a young audience.
Speaker 2: So there were so many moms there with their teenage
Speaker 2: or little tween daughters. Like there was one mum sitting
Speaker 2: in front of us. She had her seven year old,
Speaker 2: her ten year old and her twelve year old with her,
Speaker 2: and the four of them were there together and all
Speaker 2: of them were Swifties, and that I think and the mom, yeah,
Speaker 2: totally because the mom was like just a little bit
Speaker 2: older than me and she had these tween kids and
Speaker 2: so all of them loved it. And I think that
Speaker 2: that's what's so cool about it, is that she's created
Speaker 2: music that's transcended to separate generations.
Speaker 1: She doesn't have a demographic. She does not have a demographic.
Speaker 1: Her demographic is literally everyone, men, women, kids, adult grandparents.
Speaker 3: It's actually incredible.
Speaker 2: But it's also how the way in which she's made
Speaker 2: things that are technically uncool cool. And I say this
Speaker 2: by it so one of the things that was quite
Speaker 2: awesome about the concert, Right, you go to like a
Speaker 2: Beyonce concert, or you go to Pink or you go
Speaker 2: to literally any other very successful female pop star. Often
Speaker 2: a lot of the show, a lot of the performance
Speaker 2: will be based around what's sexy, right, Like you'll have
Speaker 2: dances on stage, very scantily clad, shaking their asses. I mean,
Speaker 2: that's why twerking became like a whole thing. And then
Speaker 2: here at this Taylor Swift concert that's commanded ninety five
Speaker 2: thousand people in a room or eighty one thousand, whatever
Speaker 2: the number was in Sydney, You've got all these dances
Speaker 2: on stage doing ballroom dancing like they were dressed in
Speaker 2: full ballroom doing this like beautiful waltz. It's just the
Speaker 2: contrast between what you would expect a modern pop star
Speaker 2: to be and the way in which she presented on stage.
Speaker 2: And it's this like things that are deemed as kind
Speaker 2: of like uncool or cool again, And I think it's
Speaker 2: the inclusivity of it that makes it like something that's
Speaker 2: quite remarkable. She has made uncool cool uncle cool and
Speaker 2: be cringe, lean into the glitter, be like a big
Speaker 2: loser with your friends and that's cool again. The friendship bracelets,
Speaker 2: Like since when is it cool for people to like
Speaker 2: make their little Bengals and then go and swap them with.
Speaker 3: People, but everyone did it. Yeah. I had one.
Speaker 1: Of our lifers actually give me a bracelet they made
Speaker 1: for me that said I found my penguin and it's.
Speaker 3: Really it's really really cute. So I had like hundreds
Speaker 3: of bracelets on my arm.
Speaker 2: I made one and then I wore it and gave
Speaker 2: it to my daughter and it says britty titty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Laura goes major bracelet. Didn't give it to me.
Speaker 1: The whole idea is you give your friends your bracelet.
Speaker 2: I made a britty titty bracelet, and then Marley saw
Speaker 2: it and she really wanted it, and so now she's
Speaker 2: wearing pretty titty.
Speaker 1: Well. I was like swapping bracelets with people in the audience,
Speaker 1: and I was like, you can't have that one because
Speaker 1: it was like my family penguin from a lifeile. So
Speaker 1: I was like, I think I broke the friendship rules
Speaker 1: with the bracelets, but I didn't let anyone.
Speaker 3: Take even that.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's leaning into female friendships. It's leaning into
Speaker 2: prioritizing the things that we often deprioritize, like going out,
Speaker 2: having a girl's night, spending time with your closest friends,
Speaker 2: and having something that is very I mean, on one hand,
Speaker 2: very cool, but on another hand, very very deeply dorky
Speaker 2: to lean into.
Speaker 1: I was talking to Produce a Keisha about this, and
Speaker 1: it's so interesting because there are so many dads and
Speaker 1: men at Taylor Swift because they're either fans themselves or
Speaker 1: they're there with their daughters, their children. They're like, they're like,
Speaker 1: let's go bond, Let's go family bond. And it was
Speaker 1: the exact same thing that we saw at the Super Bowl,
Speaker 1: Like there are so many dads and men now that
Speaker 1: are bonding with their daughters or females in their life
Speaker 1: that couldn't have given two hoots about the Super Bowl
Speaker 1: and the football, you know, six months ago, and now
Speaker 1: they're so involved. Like the viewership of American football and
Speaker 1: Super Bowl and the amount of money that Taylor Swift
Speaker 1: has brought in single handedly to that industry is insane.
Speaker 1: So you're seeing this unity and this bonding in both
Speaker 1: aspects and it's so beautiful to see.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But on the flip side of that, all the
Speaker 2: staunch football is being angry about the fact that it's
Speaker 2: changed at football. But also I do wonder what the
Speaker 2: impact will be if they break up.
Speaker 1: I'll be disaster, It'll be a disaster. Yeah, and he'll
Speaker 1: become the most hated man in a.
Speaker 3: Miser That's the thing.
Speaker 2: I don't think he realizes what will happen to him
Speaker 2: if they go through a breakup.
Speaker 1: The vilification. He'll have to go into hiding. All right, Well,
Speaker 1: produce a Keisha. You have been talking about this surprise
Speaker 1: that you have for us. You refuse to tell us
Speaker 1: what it is. You refuse to give us a hint. Yeah,
Speaker 1: both of you have tried to get out of me
Speaker 1: what this is. It takes you last week because look,
Speaker 1: I think hindsight can be a very interesting thing.
Speaker 4: And we got a message to our Instagram last week
Speaker 4: from a wonderful listener named Molly, and I can't read
Speaker 4: you exactly what she said because I asked her to
Speaker 4: delete the messages because I didn't want you guys reading
Speaker 4: it ahead of time, because I wanted to surprise you
Speaker 4: on the podcast. So Molly was listening to an episode
Speaker 4: that we recorded back in November of twenty twenty two.
Speaker 3: It's the week after.
Speaker 4: You got married Laura, when I was a part of
Speaker 4: Suck and Sweet, and she just said, this is so
Speaker 4: funny now listening to this episode knowing how things have transpired.
Speaker 4: So this is what went down in November twenty twenty two.
Speaker 3: Suck and sweet.
Speaker 1: My sweet for the week is I'm still no crushing.
Speaker 3: I'm already No, I'm crushing hard. No, look, I'm feeling
Speaker 3: my breasts.
Speaker 2: Okay, Sam, I am going to tell you that this
Speaker 2: is a disaster waiting to happen. Brittany, you always need me, yep,
Speaker 2: And I'm always correct this one. Maybe I need some
Speaker 2: support every night again, Laura, there has been some that
Speaker 2: I've been supported, this new one. This is a bad idea,
Speaker 2: Brittany Hockley face. Now, I cannot believe that we have
Speaker 2: a dating relationship podcast and after three years you are
Speaker 2: still entertaining this relationship.
Speaker 1: Firstly personally, you know I haven't a traction to people
Speaker 1: that aren't here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I'm commitment fo I know I had a
Speaker 3: red flag because I know it.
Speaker 2: I also want to make this very plea to everybody
Speaker 2: listening to this. This is I'm not being the hard
Speaker 2: ass best friend. Are you details around this?
Speaker 3: Which you don't, But if you did, you would.
Speaker 2: Come and smack Brittany and say you are being such
Speaker 2: a naughty little girl.
Speaker 3: Do not try and entertain this that he doesn't live
Speaker 3: in this country, to turn on.
Speaker 2: So that he's physically not here, turn on that you
Speaker 2: only knew him for two days and now you're in
Speaker 2: love with him.
Speaker 3: I'm not in love with him. I'm in lust with him.
Speaker 3: It was three days and we've been speaking for a
Speaker 3: long time now, of course on social media. I can't guys.
Speaker 2: Okay, my half for the week is that Britney never learns.
Speaker 3: She never learns from her mistakes.
Speaker 2: And I am so tired three years of being the
Speaker 2: responsible one.
Speaker 3: It's too much. You're tired. But let's be real. I'm
Speaker 3: giving you content. That's all I need, and I'm learning slowly. Okay.
Speaker 3: It's not a sprint, it's a marathon marathon. To be fair,
Speaker 3: it worked out quite well for you, Laura. This time
Speaker 3: is the worst idea you've ever had. I mean very
Speaker 3: good now it's in a very good place. That was
Speaker 3: actually very funny to listen to.
Speaker 2: Hell Also, like for anyone going back through the trenches,
Speaker 2: we don't know what we said.
Speaker 3: I don't know who I was two years ago. I
Speaker 3: don't remember that.
Speaker 2: I also can't be held to account for anything I
Speaker 2: said two years ago. I'm a different person.
Speaker 3: Now I still back you. I still think you were right.
Speaker 3: I think it's just rare. I mean she thinks she
Speaker 3: was right. I mean love.
Speaker 2: I'm so glad it's worked out the way that it has.
Speaker 2: I'm so glad that you're happy. And I love Ben.
Speaker 2: I love that you guys are together. But if you ever,
Speaker 2: if you guys don't work out and you come to
Speaker 2: me and you're like.
Speaker 3: So I am pressure on me. So I met a guy.
Speaker 2: He's in Ireland, and I'm just gonna see where things go,
Speaker 2: I will feel the same.
Speaker 1: I met a guy that I actually is taking a
Speaker 1: solo scientific position in Antarctica, and I think it's gonna
Speaker 1: go well.
Speaker 3: There's no Wi Fi there, but there are a lot
Speaker 3: of penguins. But I've only seen him for one day.
Speaker 3: I think his name is Steve. I don't know. I
Speaker 3: feeling good about it.
Speaker 2: Sometimes, guys, sometimes you need the best friend in your
Speaker 2: life who tells you no shit, oh that was really
Speaker 2: went somewhere.
Speaker 3: IM sorry talking about something you know. Sometimes you need.
Speaker 2: The best friend in your life who is the voice
Speaker 2: of reason, even if you don't listen to that.
Speaker 3: If I listened to you, Laura, where do you think
Speaker 3: I would be.
Speaker 1: Dating someone on the street somewhere with some hool again.
Speaker 2: No, look, I mean I am very happy to admit
Speaker 2: that I was wrong in this instance.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, because now I've transitioned from lust to love.
Speaker 2: You already loved him then it was three days and
Speaker 2: you were so like you never took your face out
Speaker 2: of your phone trying to have a conversation with Brich.
Speaker 2: She'd be like, yeah, I'm listening, and I was like,
Speaker 2: you're texting Ben, aren't you. You're texting this guy. Ye,
Speaker 2: give me your phone.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna snack him as well.
Speaker 1: No, I don't fall in love in three days. But like, wow,
Speaker 1: that was great. Three days I just had them.
Speaker 3: The memory just really hit me. That was the three
Speaker 3: days we didn't hear from you. We thought you died
Speaker 3: almost did.
Speaker 1: Shit.
Speaker 2: Okay, guys, if you're listening back to the back catalog
Speaker 2: of life on cut and you can find some other gems,
Speaker 2: send them on through. Really, just please do I like
Speaker 2: the little I need the walk down memory lane. I
Speaker 2: want to be held accountable for all the things I've
Speaker 2: said wrong. What's the time frame?
Speaker 4: You know, in the court of law, how there's like
Speaker 4: a time period that you can't be held accountable for something.
Speaker 2: Statutory statutories, we've had a declarate, I don't know, but
Speaker 2: I always bring it up, but it always tells me
Speaker 2: it's wrong.
Speaker 3: And then we've had bake laws up ten years.
Speaker 2: Ten years, guys, after ten years can't be held accountable?
Speaker 3: What do you think ow whatever.
Speaker 4: Statutory limit or whatever limitations something like that?
Speaker 3: What should ours be for life on cut?
Speaker 4: How long can we be held accountable for thoughts, opinions
Speaker 4: or advice that we give on asking.
Speaker 1: Part, I don't think we can put that down because
Speaker 1: someone will hold is accountable for what we've just said.
Speaker 4: In return palacy twenty eight days, you gonna have proof
Speaker 4: of a receipt.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 3: The funniest thing I.
Speaker 1: Remember about that time is that for some reason, that
Speaker 1: day and this never happens you Laura produced a Keisha
Speaker 1: and Maddie Jay were at my house because we had
Speaker 1: some random recording and it was this was the three days.
Speaker 1: The first day I met Ben and I was like, hey,
Speaker 1: you guys are about to go, and I was already
Speaker 1: linking up this guy. I was this guy was coming
Speaker 1: over and instead of ushering you out the door quickly,
Speaker 1: I was like Hey, guys, just procrastinate for a minute,
Speaker 1: because this guy I'm banging's coming over and I want
Speaker 1: you to see him because I just thought, like.
Speaker 3: I just thought I was gonna show him off like
Speaker 3: my little.
Speaker 1: Prize possession for the day, and I was never seeing
Speaker 1: the guy again, so I made you all wait around
Speaker 1: the poor guy. Ben walked in thinking it was just me,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh god, it was everyone.
Speaker 3: I was like, guys, can you go what I asked
Speaker 3: you to stay to look at him? And then I
Speaker 3: was like, guys, this is awkward. Please leave. I'm trying,
Speaker 3: like it's not cool. Your exact words were, you need
Speaker 3: to stay. He's so fucking hot. You've got to see this.
Speaker 4: And so remember why we were there. It was because
Speaker 4: we were recording the episode about your wedding. Yeah, that's
Speaker 4: why Matt was there. And it's not like Ben subtle.
Speaker 4: He's like six foot four or something like this tall
Speaker 4: handsome man waltz through the door and the three of
Speaker 4: us are sitting there like.
Speaker 3: Hello, and he was mortified.
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm so sorry they're hanging around like
Speaker 2: a bad smell. I no, I don't remember you saying like,
Speaker 2: oh I couldn't get rid of them. I think you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: the record ran over, Sorry about that.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I made up something because I just wanted.
Speaker 1: I just wanted because I thought I was never seen
Speaker 1: him again, so I thought it would be really cool
Speaker 1: for my world to collide. And also in my head,
Speaker 1: I was like content, like this hot guy that I've banged,
Speaker 1: at least you guys have seen him, and then obviously
Speaker 1: here we are.
Speaker 4: Obviously he became the love of your life and we
Speaker 4: didn't think that things would go that way, but based
Speaker 4: off of past experiences, which is why at the time,
Speaker 4: I was on Laura's side, going, you're being a good
Speaker 4: friend by telling her the truth.
Speaker 3: You're giving her the tough love and she needs it.
Speaker 2: Were you on Laura's side, Kisha, Yeah, yeah, most people were,
Speaker 2: except for the odd lifer who would message me and say,
Speaker 2: you're being so mean to Brittany. She's in love.
Speaker 3: You should just be happy.
Speaker 2: I cannot tell you the amount of you guys, the
Speaker 2: listeners who messaged me privately to tell me that I
Speaker 2: needed to be nicer to brit about you being in
Speaker 2: a new relationship, and I was like.
Speaker 3: Everyone, everyone, let's just take a step back.
Speaker 2: I just did COVID with Britt in another country, running
Speaker 2: around after a love and then I watched her be
Speaker 2: heart broken, decimated on the floor.
Speaker 3: And now that's a shit on the floor. Oh you were,
Speaker 3: you were.
Speaker 2: Literally no, that's defecating decimated. And then now out of nowhere,
Speaker 2: you've told me you've fallen in love with the guy
Speaker 2: who you banged for two nights on they are.
Speaker 1: If you banged him for two nights, you would have
Speaker 1: loved him too, And then you've gone overseas and change.
Speaker 2: I was like, guys, anyone who thinks I shouldn't be saying,
Speaker 2: you know, Britt, I love you, but I'm worried is
Speaker 2: actually insane. Also, and I'm not saying I am so
Speaker 2: happy it has worked out and I will absolutely be
Speaker 2: in the wrong. But to any one of whose messaged
Speaker 2: to me, I love you, but go and fuck yourself,
Speaker 2: you should be a better friend to your friends. Also,
Speaker 2: Ben maa bentu be he does I know, I know,
Speaker 2: but I want the best for you and I was
Speaker 2: trying to protect you.
Speaker 1: He actually said, you know, when you start dating somebody
Speaker 1: and you become obsessed with everything about them, you look
Speaker 1: at it like where you look at it, you know,
Speaker 1: but I mean, like you want to know everything about someone.
Speaker 3: So obviously he read our book, Laura, We Love Love.
Speaker 1: He just started reading the whole book, and then he
Speaker 1: listened to every episode of the podcast, so he was
Speaker 1: listening to us talking about those.
Speaker 3: Times, and he was like, why does Laura not like me?
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, here we go, and he
Speaker 3: had it. He was convinced that you didn't like it.
Speaker 2: Nah, I was just playing hard to get. I was like,
Speaker 2: I hold higher standards for Brittany than what she holds
Speaker 2: for herself.
Speaker 3: That's how I felt at the time. But my standard
Speaker 3: was pretty hard. Ben proved himself. I just don't want
Speaker 3: to see you get hurt again.
Speaker 2: That's all it was, is jack hammery and such a really.
Speaker 3: Why are we rushing good all day? Thank you for that? Okay?
Speaker 2: Can I say off the back of that, something I
Speaker 2: wanted to bring up quickly. It's something we spoke about
Speaker 2: on as gun Cut last week and it was you
Speaker 2: mentioned LinkedIn and my brain.
Speaker 3: Went ping, ping, ping ping.
Speaker 2: We had this question that happened and it was around
Speaker 2: so this girl she'd met a guy he'd said he
Speaker 2: didn't have social media. She tried to find him on
Speaker 2: social media, couldn't find him, and then she asked the
Speaker 2: question as to whether or not she should meddle to
Speaker 2: him on LinkedIn because she found his LinkedIn profile but
Speaker 2: he didn't have social media. Now, Britt, you and I
Speaker 2: speaking of the time of whatever the word is, statue true,
Speaker 2: that's not it, whatever limitation I think double.
Speaker 3: I think it's longer than four days.
Speaker 2: But we said on that episode that it was fine,
Speaker 2: you should you should go, you should message, shoot your
Speaker 2: shot one more time, or at least one time, and
Speaker 2: then see what happens.
Speaker 3: You're attracting your statement.
Speaker 2: No, I'm not retracting our statement. But we put up
Speaker 2: the social vid of that on lifeunca podcast or Instagram,
Speaker 2: and the overarching comments there were so many, but there was,
Speaker 2: like I would say, more than ninety nine percent of
Speaker 2: people had said don't message him. And the reasoning for
Speaker 2: that was that they were saying, if you met him
Speaker 2: in real life, if he made a point of saying
Speaker 2: he doesn't have social media, he also then had the
Speaker 2: opportunity to give you his number or give you another
Speaker 2: way of contacting him. But he just left it with
Speaker 2: a blockage of saying I don't have those things and
Speaker 2: then went on his merry way. So majority of people
Speaker 2: interpreted that situation as though, well, look, he's already given
Speaker 2: you the indication he's not interested in you, why would
Speaker 2: you message him on LinkedIn. I still don't agree with that.
Speaker 2: Great disagree with everyone on Instagram.
Speaker 3: No, sorry, Okay.
Speaker 1: What I will say is there are numerous times people
Speaker 1: meet each other in real life and don't swap numbers
Speaker 1: or nothing happens because they just don't expect that that's
Speaker 1: the situation.
Speaker 3: They don't think the other person will be interested. This
Speaker 3: happens more.
Speaker 1: Times, well they're nervous, or they're nervous more times than not.
Speaker 1: People safety net is unfortunately online, even lifers. Right, how
Speaker 1: many times I've had messages from lifers say that I
Speaker 1: saw you, literally, Hey, I just saw you ten minutes ago,
Speaker 1: but I didn't want to say hi, so I messaged you,
Speaker 1: And in my.
Speaker 3: Head I was like, but say hi.
Speaker 1: You must have just been around the corner from where
Speaker 1: I was right now, because you've jumped straight on your
Speaker 1: phone to say hi online because you feel more comfortable.
Speaker 1: And I understand that, and I think that that relates
Speaker 1: to a lot of people in today's dating scene. The
Speaker 1: worst thing that can happen if you, like, if you
Speaker 1: don't shoot this shot right, It's not like you've messaged
Speaker 1: him on Instagram and he's left you m right, and
Speaker 1: you've blocked him, And it's not like he gave you
Speaker 1: his number and he's blocked you.
Speaker 3: And then you're like, I'm going to try LinkedIn, I've
Speaker 3: got his address, I'm turning up like this is just
Speaker 3: your one reach out.
Speaker 1: I think it's fine if you don't shoot your show,
Speaker 1: if you don't ask, and you're you're not writing to
Speaker 1: him proposing marriage. If he says no, he will politely
Speaker 1: decline in whatever capacity. No skin off your back. You
Speaker 1: walk away and it's fine. But maybe there's a chance
Speaker 1: he will reply and it might be something, and maybe
Speaker 1: that situation just wasn't right.
Speaker 4: Can I just say you guys have not changed it
Speaker 4: all since twenty twenty two. You're still the dreamer and
Speaker 4: you're still the realist I am. I You're the dreamer
Speaker 4: who's like, shoot your shot, take your chance, and Laura's like,
Speaker 4: here are the factors you need to be realistic about.
Speaker 4: This could have happened, Like the things have not changed
Speaker 4: as much as what we think they are.
Speaker 2: And I'm not a pessimist. I'm just a realist. But
Speaker 2: also I'm with you, britt I just thought it was interesting.
Speaker 2: I thought it was really interesting the way in which
Speaker 2: people interpreted that on social media, because overarchingly the number
Speaker 2: of comments on there were all saying, don't do it.
Speaker 2: And I think it's interesting when we give our advice
Speaker 2: and feedback on ask Guncut episodes and then the majority
Speaker 2: says no, which in this case was the instance.
Speaker 3: What I want to leave you with is when have
Speaker 3: we ever leaved down?
Speaker 2: Brittany's like, what I want to leave you with is
Speaker 2: I'm always right. Don't listen to Laura why I want
Speaker 2: to leave it. Go Chase the footballer who lives in
Speaker 2: another country.
Speaker 3: Good. Sometimes it works out, sometimes we'll see. Sometimes I've
Speaker 3: got to ring.
Speaker 2: Yet. Something we wanted to talk about on this episode
Speaker 2: is the very real life Handmaid's Tale, Like it's unbelievable
Speaker 2: what is going down at Alabama at the moment. So
Speaker 2: so many of you would be familiar with the conversations
Speaker 2: that happened around Roev Wade being overturned and how fertility
Speaker 2: abortion rights IVF. All of these discussions were then handed
Speaker 2: over to the states within America. We spoke about Roev
Speaker 2: Wade when that happened back in twenty twenty two, but
Speaker 2: now there's been more changes and more advances in Alabama.
Speaker 2: So what has happened is the Alabama Supreme Court has
Speaker 2: ruled that frozen embryos created and stored for in vitro
Speaker 2: fertilization are children under a state law which is allowing
Speaker 2: parents to sue for wrongful death of their minor children. Now,
Speaker 2: the reason why this ruling has come to light is
Speaker 2: because it's all off the back of a civil suit
Speaker 2: that started in twenty twenty. So there was an incident
Speaker 2: where three separate couples embryos were destroyed.
Speaker 3: But it's actually quite devastating.
Speaker 2: What happened, and what seems to have kind of gone
Speaker 2: down is that a patient went in and was able
Speaker 2: to access the freezers.
Speaker 1: Which god knows how you even do that, But that's
Speaker 1: a whole nother story.
Speaker 3: It's insanity.
Speaker 2: Right, they've accessed the freezers, they've been able to handle
Speaker 2: the frozen embryos of other people's families, and they have
Speaker 2: dropped them. So what it says in the court documents
Speaker 2: is that the person got freezer burns when they handled
Speaker 2: these embryos. They dropped the petri dishes, they smashed on
Speaker 2: the floor because they said like minus eighty degrees. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and they destroyed three families embryos. So this was taken
Speaker 2: as a civil suit originally for what's called wrongful death
Speaker 2: of a miner. And originally it was overturned in court
Speaker 2: because a frozen embryo can't be considered a minor, and
Speaker 2: that was the original ruling. Now this was then taken
Speaker 2: further than that. It was taken to the Supreme Court
Speaker 2: with that original ruling was overturned, and the Supreme Court
Speaker 2: in Alabama has since to find that a frozen embryo
Speaker 2: is considered to be a child, that a child is
Speaker 2: from the moment of fertilization, whether that is in the
Speaker 2: womb or externally frozen, whatever, which brings so many more questions.
Speaker 2: And the reason why this is such a I mean,
Speaker 2: it's such a landmark case, but also the reason why
Speaker 2: it is now fraught with so many problems is that
Speaker 2: it raises questions around IVF in general, around the moral
Speaker 2: liability of IVF clinics and what they do with those embryos,
Speaker 2: around the long term storage of embryos and frozen because
Speaker 2: it means you can't destroy an embryo, you can't do
Speaker 2: anything to that that would then potentially hold you liable
Speaker 2: for this wrongful death. And it also means that some
Speaker 2: of these clinics could come under what would be considered
Speaker 2: criminal charges for the way in which they're handling embryos.
Speaker 2: It's completely changed the benchmark for how IVF can be
Speaker 2: handled within the state of Alabama. And then I guess
Speaker 2: the big thing is is Alabama's only one of eleven
Speaker 2: states who have these similar rulings post roeby Wade, and
Speaker 2: so it begs the question is it's going to be
Speaker 2: ruled out across the country.
Speaker 1: I had a little look into Alabama wrongful death and
Speaker 1: this is what it says. The party responsible for the
Speaker 1: death could be charged with a criminal offense and if convicted,
Speaker 1: they could face fines, jail time, and other penalties. Although
Speaker 1: a criminal conviction could provide the family with some sense
Speaker 1: of closure, it does not compensate them for their loss.
Speaker 1: So currently these families are trying to sue. But technically
Speaker 1: what this means is if you are convicted of wrongful death,
Speaker 1: you could face a prison sentence. This could be off
Speaker 1: the back of literally freezing five embryos and then for
Speaker 1: whatever reason, deciding not to use all or some and
Speaker 1: or one. Maybe it could be one embryo. Maybe you
Speaker 1: have an embryo that didn't develop properly and had some
Speaker 1: sort of genetic abnormalities and you decide you don't want
Speaker 1: to go further for whatever reason, or maybe you're not
Speaker 1: allowed to go further for whatever reason. That could also
Speaker 1: be seen as wrongful death.
Speaker 2: Well, you would still have to keep it frozen forever
Speaker 2: almost or like indefinitely, because what do you you do?
Speaker 2: You can't discard it if it's considered to be a child.
Speaker 1: I do not know what the repercussions and the future
Speaker 1: is going to look like in that capacity, But what
Speaker 1: I do know is the effect that this is going
Speaker 1: to have on women in Alabama, and hopefully it doesn't
Speaker 1: go any further than Alabama. The repercussions are so astronomical,
Speaker 1: both the financial stress and the emotional stress that that
Speaker 1: is going to put on a woman even trying to
Speaker 1: make the decision if she should go forth with IVF,
Speaker 1: because imagine the stress you already have doing IVF. But
Speaker 1: then on top of that you're like, holy shit, what
Speaker 1: if something goes wrong and I end up in prison?
Speaker 3: See?
Speaker 2: I mean that for me, I understand when you say,
Speaker 2: think about all the people who are considering this, but
Speaker 2: at least the people who are considering IVF in Alabama
Speaker 2: have the choice to potentially consider it somewhere else now
Speaker 2: that these legislations have come in. The people who I
Speaker 2: think are in the most gravous of situations are women
Speaker 2: who have already been through the embryo freezing process. So
Speaker 2: they already have ten or fifteen or whatever it is
Speaker 2: embryos that are frozen, and now they could be criminally
Speaker 2: liable for those embryos. The big question that they have
Speaker 2: is what are they going to do with that? Do
Speaker 2: you then wait until you've hit menopause and then have
Speaker 2: I mean go through the very costly task of having
Speaker 2: eggs inserted into you. Then, knowing that they are not
Speaker 2: going to take do you keep them frozen indefinitely, which
Speaker 2: means that you're paying storage fees for forever.
Speaker 1: I mean.
Speaker 2: The other big question though, here is is if you
Speaker 2: legally have to keep those eggs frozen, does the state
Speaker 2: not have some responsibility of financial reimbursement? And we were
Speaker 2: having this discussion just as we were unpacking the many
Speaker 2: complexities of this, and we were like, well, if you
Speaker 2: are outlaying a cost for what is considered to be
Speaker 2: a child, even though that child is frozen and currently
Speaker 2: in a freezer an IVF clinic, does that not mean
Speaker 2: that that child is a dependent that embryo is a
Speaker 2: dependent on you. So therefore, wouldn't there be some sort
Speaker 2: of tax benefits that you could get back in order
Speaker 2: to be able to pay for the freezing. There's just
Speaker 2: so many complications around this, and the fact that the
Speaker 2: law has changed in such a swift nature it means
Speaker 2: that so many women and families are going to be
Speaker 2: put in this precarious situation where it could be criminally liable.
Speaker 1: I don't understand how you can change a law and
Speaker 1: then backdate it. It's like saying, on a lesser level,
Speaker 1: imagine somebody brings in and says, jaywalking in the city
Speaker 1: center is now one year fine from this day, Like
Speaker 1: this is when the legislation is brought in. So let's
Speaker 1: go back through all our CCTV footage for the last
Speaker 1: ten years and see who jaywalked, and then we're going
Speaker 1: to put you in prison for you like, no, you
Speaker 1: can't backdate a law.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, but I disagree with that. And the
Speaker 2: reason why I disagree with that as an example, is
Speaker 2: that they're not backdating the law. What they're saying is
Speaker 2: that we now are clarifying and we are classifying any embryo,
Speaker 2: any frozen embryo as a child life and so it
Speaker 2: doesn't matter that it's backdated. They're not going to say, hey, well,
Speaker 2: because you last year destroyed your embryo, as we're going
Speaker 2: to criminally charge you. Now, what they're saying is is
Speaker 2: any that are now on ice need to be treated
Speaker 2: along side these new legislations.
Speaker 1: Yes, but you make a decision on the education at
Speaker 1: that time. They made a decision to freeze, not knowing
Speaker 1: there could be a possibility again they're going to be charged.
Speaker 1: They probably wouldn't have made that exact decision if there
Speaker 1: was more information at the time.
Speaker 2: Well, that is my problem, yes, but that is the
Speaker 2: whole thing that people are facing now. That's why this
Speaker 2: is just such an incredibly overwhelming moral debate. But I
Speaker 2: guess the real problem here is, like, because religion and
Speaker 2: politics have been conflated now within the States and that's
Speaker 2: what happened when reproductive rights was given back to the
Speaker 2: states to make their independent decisions. And there was a
Speaker 2: really interesting so like when this new ruling happened the Amendments.
Speaker 3: This is what was written.
Speaker 2: The people of Alabama have declared the public policy of
Speaker 2: this state to be that unborn human life is sacred.
Speaker 2: We believe that each human being, from the moment of conception,
Speaker 2: is made in the image of God, created by Him
Speaker 2: to reflect his likeness. It is as if the people
Speaker 2: of Alabama took what was spoken of the prophet Jeremiah
Speaker 2: and applied it to every unborn person in this state.
Speaker 2: It is unbelievable to me that from astern like a
Speaker 2: westernized country. I understand that there are many countries throughout
Speaker 2: the world where politics and religion are so intertwined, But
Speaker 2: for a country like America to have it so deeply
Speaker 2: intertwined that it affects women in this way, it is
Speaker 2: almost unfathomable. How many steps backwards have been taken in
Speaker 2: this You.
Speaker 1: Said this earlier in the chat, Laura, you can go
Speaker 1: somewhere else, to another state for IVF. Sure, of course,
Speaker 1: you can go to another state for IVF. But the
Speaker 1: extra expense that takes to move to another state to
Speaker 1: do your treatment is huge because you don't just duck over,
Speaker 1: go into the clinic, put your own brew in high
Speaker 1: five and go home. It takes weeks of injections and
Speaker 1: blood tests and ultrasounds, So you would have to move
Speaker 1: to that place for whatever period of time you need,
Speaker 1: depending on your IVF needs. You would have to stay
Speaker 1: in that place, do all of your injections there. And
Speaker 1: it's so timed that you can't just keep going between states. Right,
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's every day for people, Sometimes it's every two days,
Speaker 1: every three days, whatever.
Speaker 2: Well, it's going to be a situation where only the
Speaker 2: most privileged and only the most financially like wealthy people
Speaker 2: are going to be able to access this type of
Speaker 2: IVF treatment, because I mean, it's not What's happening now
Speaker 2: is that a lot of clinics within Alabama have paused
Speaker 2: their embryo freezing facilities. But you can still go in
Speaker 2: have eggs taken, and have IVF done without doing the
Speaker 2: freezing portion of the embryos. You can have your eggs frozen,
Speaker 2: you can have embryos created instantly. But it just means
Speaker 2: that what is going to happen is that people are
Speaker 2: going to have to do more rounds of IVF. They're
Speaker 2: going to have to outlay that initial cost more times,
Speaker 2: and in the States for an IVF treatment it's even
Speaker 2: more than what it is in Australia. It's fifteen to
Speaker 2: twenty thousand to have one round of IVF.
Speaker 1: It is more there, and they don't get any form
Speaker 1: of rebates or government help where there are forms of
Speaker 1: rebates in Australia.
Speaker 2: Which I think the most devastating part of this whole
Speaker 2: thing is that families who can't conceive naturally are so penalized.
Speaker 1: I haven't spoken about this on the podcast yet, but
Speaker 1: now seems like a.
Speaker 3: Very very perfect time.
Speaker 1: I did speak about this at one live show at
Speaker 1: the Sydney Live Show, very briefly, but last year. You
Speaker 1: guys know you've been on my fertility journey for a
Speaker 1: very long time. You know this has been years now.
Speaker 1: I'm thirty six years old, i'll be thirty seventy in August,
Speaker 1: and I've been freezing my eggs a few times, and
Speaker 1: then I realized that I probably need to freeze embryos
Speaker 1: if I do want to have a child, and that
Speaker 1: is just not my own realization.
Speaker 3: This is from many discussions with my.
Speaker 1: IVF doctor and just the research that's available for my
Speaker 1: fertility and my results. I don't have great fertility. I
Speaker 1: never got a huge number of eggs, and every time
Speaker 1: I went.
Speaker 3: Back they got less and less and less. So I
Speaker 3: made the decision.
Speaker 1: I should say, we made the decision Ben and I
Speaker 1: to freeze embryos last year, which was a pretty big
Speaker 1: decision and I didn't take it lightly. And it might
Speaker 1: seem like to a lot of people that that came
Speaker 1: really quickly in our relationship, But I think relationships develop
Speaker 1: at different times the older you get, and sometimes when
Speaker 1: there's an external pressure, like a biological clock and like
Speaker 1: the extra fertility stress, you do make decisions.
Speaker 2: Why and I know the reason to this, but I
Speaker 2: think for the context of people listening who have because
Speaker 2: like everyone who is a lifer has followed along so
Speaker 2: much around the egg freezing conversations that we've had. But
Speaker 2: why didn't you want to share sooner that you had
Speaker 2: frozen embryos, because that is such a big monumental thing
Speaker 2: from like a relationship perspective, but also from a fertility
Speaker 2: conversation that you left out at the original talks that
Speaker 2: we had.
Speaker 1: It's funny because I do share everything on the podcast
Speaker 1: and well most things, and we've always said we don't
Speaker 1: share everything. But I always had this feeling because Laura
Speaker 1: and I had these discussions, are you going to talk
Speaker 1: about this that you're doing it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I said, that's kind of what made the
Speaker 2: last round of egg freezing such a big deal.
Speaker 3: And I said, no, I don't think I'm going to.
Speaker 3: I think, and I.
Speaker 1: Guess in a way, I I told a bit of
Speaker 1: a fib to you guys.
Speaker 3: What wasn't a fib, but it was a bend of
Speaker 3: a trick of the truth.
Speaker 1: I said, I was just doing another egg freezing round,
Speaker 1: which it is right, it takes out the eggs. But
Speaker 1: I didn't tell you that I was making those eggs
Speaker 1: into an embryo because it felt highly personal and it
Speaker 1: was very personal to Ben as well.
Speaker 3: And I didn't want to talk about it.
Speaker 1: Because I was worried about the result and I didn't
Speaker 1: want to be going through if it didn't work or
Speaker 1: something went wrong. I didn't want everyone to know that
Speaker 1: I was going through it and then have to talk
Speaker 1: about the fact that it didn't work.
Speaker 3: And this was just a preconceived.
Speaker 1: Idea, right, Like everybody that I know in my life
Speaker 1: that has done embryos, I didn't know many people that
Speaker 1: hadn't ever gotten them. I never assumed that I wouldn't
Speaker 1: get embryos, but I was just worried that something could
Speaker 1: go wrong. And then I had already laid all the
Speaker 1: information out there and you guys knew, and then I
Speaker 1: would have to talk about it whilst I was going
Speaker 1: through something. So I was like, let's just see what
Speaker 1: happens and then I'll talk about it after the fact,
Speaker 1: Like I just want to get through this as stress
Speaker 1: freeze possible, because the number one thing is you don't stress.
Speaker 1: That's what you fertility it on just says, which it's
Speaker 1: so funny in hindsight, because you're like, this is very stressful.
Speaker 2: Do you okay, this is a very personal question and
Speaker 2: you don't have to answer this if you don't want to,
Speaker 2: do you or have you thought about And I'm relating
Speaker 2: it back to this conversation with Alabama, Right, what if
Speaker 2: something happens where you and Ben don't work out in
Speaker 2: the way that you plan, you know, whatever that is,
Speaker 2: and you have embryos that are frozen what do you do?
Speaker 3: That's the other pressure.
Speaker 1: So Ben and I we only made this decision because
Speaker 1: we at this point in time we know and I
Speaker 1: feel even bad saying that we want to marry each other,
Speaker 1: we want to be together. And I always say this
Speaker 1: point in time because I almost feel like I'm buffering
Speaker 1: it for myself in case I go take of course
Speaker 1: south in the future. Because we all know relationships are
Speaker 1: a funny thing. But it is a pressure. You do
Speaker 1: think about it because it is in a way a child.
Speaker 1: It's not alive, but is your DNA and his DNA,
Speaker 1: and you've made it and it's ready to become a child.
Speaker 1: So it's really it's such a funny thing. And this
Speaker 1: is why I relate with this conversation so much.
Speaker 3: But you do.
Speaker 1: You go through so many conversations with the clinic and
Speaker 1: with each other about what that looks like, whether you
Speaker 1: can donate them or if one of you dies, do
Speaker 1: you give permission for the other person to use it?
Speaker 1: Do you want nobody to use it? Do you want
Speaker 1: science to have it? Do you donate it to a friend? Like?
Speaker 1: There are so many and so you go through and
Speaker 1: I won't tell you exactly I did say that my
Speaker 1: sister could use them if my eggs, sorry, my sister
Speaker 1: can use my eggs. And then I said, if I die,
Speaker 1: my sister can use my embryos with Ben's permission. So
Speaker 1: you fill out so many different scenarios, which sounds crazy
Speaker 1: but makes sense.
Speaker 3: But when I went through.
Speaker 1: It, so I did it twice last year, and when
Speaker 1: I went through it the first time, when I said
Speaker 1: I didn't want to talk about it in case something
Speaker 1: went wrong, I feel like that was the best decision
Speaker 1: for me, because something did go wrong, and I I
Speaker 1: had it in my head that I was definitely going
Speaker 1: to come out with an embryo, because why wouldn't you,
Speaker 1: you know, you paid so much money, and it's science,
Speaker 1: and I'm such a science woman. So I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm doing every single thing I can possibly do to
Speaker 1: get an embryo, so it's going to be fine. And
Speaker 1: I got I did get a few embryos, and what
Speaker 1: happens is they develop the embryo and then over a
Speaker 1: six day period.
Speaker 3: It's pretty amazing. It's like CCTV footage.
Speaker 1: They put these little embryos in the little petri dish
Speaker 1: and there's literally a camera that monitors them. These are microscopic, right,
Speaker 1: and you can log on at any time and see
Speaker 1: it developing. It's amazing, and it develops over six days.
Speaker 1: And over the six days things can go wrong. Sometimes
Speaker 1: they don't develop, sometimes they develop too slowly. But you
Speaker 1: need them to make it to the six day mark.
Speaker 1: When they get to the six day mark. If any
Speaker 1: get there, you can do genetic testing if you choose to.
Speaker 3: You don't have to.
Speaker 1: I decided to do the genetic testing so that when
Speaker 1: the time comes, I have the best chance of falling pregnant.
Speaker 1: I know that there's nothing wrong that might miscarry or whatever.
Speaker 1: I just wanted to say, I'll pay the extra just
Speaker 1: to check that I have the best possible chance. So
Speaker 1: I only got one that made it to the six days. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I got one to make it to the six days,
Speaker 1: and then one didn't survive properly the genetic testing, it
Speaker 1: was two unstable. And they told me that they were like,
Speaker 1: it's not great because they can tell.
Speaker 3: They grade them as well.
Speaker 1: They're like, these are good ones, these are meeting ones,
Speaker 1: these are bad ones.
Speaker 3: So I had one embryo and I felt really good
Speaker 3: about it.
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, Ben was like, baby, that's great,
Speaker 1: we only need one, which I know you don't because
Speaker 1: one embryo doesn't equate to one live.
Speaker 3: Birth like a fort chance oft taking.
Speaker 1: But I did want to take that from him too.
Speaker 1: I was like, you're right, like, you know, it's fine.
Speaker 1: One's fine. Then they do the genetic testing and then
Speaker 1: it's like, I think another eight days or something later
Speaker 1: you get the results.
Speaker 3: But I thought, what are the odds of something being
Speaker 3: wrong with that? So I was telling everyone. I was
Speaker 3: We've got an embryo. It's amazing.
Speaker 1: And then I remember getting I was over in Scotland
Speaker 1: and I remember getting the call from the geneticist and
Speaker 1: my clinic and they said, we're so sorry.
Speaker 3: Your embryo has a really really rare abnormality.
Speaker 1: And I'm talking like I think there were like twelve
Speaker 1: live births recorded of what this embryo had, and essentially
Speaker 1: it's non viable. So even if it survived the pregnancy,
Speaker 1: it wouldn't survive life.
Speaker 3: It's not compatible with life. It's not compatible with life.
Speaker 1: So I didn't have to make a decision of what
Speaker 1: to do with that embryo because here in Australia you're
Speaker 1: not allowed to go any further, the clinic won't inject
Speaker 1: you with that embryo because they know it's not going
Speaker 1: to go anywhere. Yeah, but that was devastating. Like, you
Speaker 1: go through so much, and I know there are so
Speaker 1: many women out there that going to be listening to this.
Speaker 1: You go through so much, and you have all of science,
Speaker 1: and you've paid so much money, and your hormones have
Speaker 1: gone through everything, and you have so much hope that
Speaker 1: you're going to get what you want, and then you
Speaker 1: get nothing. And I was like, how did I just
Speaker 1: go through that? How did I just go through all
Speaker 1: of that alone too and get nothing? I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: and then you, just like you said before, you feel
Speaker 1: so much shame. I don't feel shame, but I feel
Speaker 1: really guilty. Yeah, because it's that cliche like you feel
Speaker 1: broken and Ben wants a child, but he.
Speaker 3: Wants me more. But you're like, what's wrong with my body?
Speaker 1: Like, even with science, why can't I It doesn't make
Speaker 1: sense anyway. Also, there's another aspect if you like even
Speaker 1: just getting one and having something so rare, I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, what are the actual odds of that?
Speaker 1: Like, So I just took a breathe for a little while,
Speaker 1: and I decided to do it again because my fidelity
Speaker 1: specialist was like, look the odds of that happening. She's like,
Speaker 1: I will guarantee you basically that that will not happen again.
Speaker 3: She's like, we can go again.
Speaker 1: It can't happen again because Ben and I as individuals
Speaker 1: were genetically tested and this is what's so fascinating. Individually,
Speaker 1: you're genetically tested as the parents and we were fine.
Speaker 1: So that's why they test the embryos again because it's
Speaker 1: something in the formation. It's not coming from your DNA,
Speaker 1: it's the development.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like everything, so many things have to go right
Speaker 2: for it to go right, you know, on a DNA level,
Speaker 2: but also just in terms of like how it progresses.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So took a few months off because I just needed
Speaker 1: to get myself ready emotionally again. Did it again, and
Speaker 1: that was when you guys might have seen Ben flew
Speaker 1: over just for that week. We sort of had a
Speaker 1: joke about it, but he flew in for like three
Speaker 1: or four days. He literally flew in for my collection
Speaker 1: and he did a live donation. So last time we
Speaker 1: used frozen sperm, but this time we were like, okay,
Speaker 1: let's try fresh. So he flew in, and he also
Speaker 1: just wanted to be there. If I got none again,
Speaker 1: he thought that I would be a mess, and I
Speaker 1: would have been.
Speaker 3: So it was really beautiful.
Speaker 1: So he flew in, did his sperm donation, we did
Speaker 1: the whole thing again, and long story short, we ended
Speaker 1: up with five, which is great, and then three good ones.
Speaker 3: So three so I free that are viable.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I now have very happy to report I
Speaker 1: have three genetically tested embryos frozen, which was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: which was really exciting. And they're graded, which is also
Speaker 1: interesting because they're like, this is.
Speaker 3: The best one.
Speaker 1: Then they're like this is also good, and then they're
Speaker 1: like this is like we'll use that if the other.
Speaker 3: Ones don't work.
Speaker 1: Like they actually put them in a grade, which is
Speaker 1: really cool.
Speaker 2: But you know, the big thing about this, brit and like,
Speaker 2: not that I want to link your personal story back
Speaker 2: to this, but imagine if you were in a situation
Speaker 2: where that first round of embryo creation, where an embryo
Speaker 2: was created that was completely non viable with life, but
Speaker 2: could not be destroyed and could not be implanted, so
Speaker 2: you were also then left with the financial implications of
Speaker 2: keeping it on ice indefinitely because nobody knows what to
Speaker 2: do with it for fear of criminal negligence, or for
Speaker 2: fear of being punished for quote unquote killing a child
Speaker 2: or unlawful harm to a child. Like it's unfathomable. The
Speaker 2: pain that some of these families will go through and
Speaker 2: the lack of support that they have because of these
Speaker 2: changes in rulings.
Speaker 3: Well, that's what made me so emotionally charged about this.
Speaker 1: When I saw this come out last week, I was
Speaker 1: speaking to my sister Sherry about it, and I was like,
Speaker 1: you realize, there's a high chance if I was in
Speaker 1: Alabama in that situation that I, you know, I could.
Speaker 3: Go to prison. It could be wrongful death first of all,
Speaker 3: or be sued.
Speaker 1: First of all, I would have embryos that I might
Speaker 1: not ever be able to use. Second of all, I
Speaker 1: had one that had to be terminated because it was
Speaker 1: non viable. But they would see it in Alabama as viable.
Speaker 1: They would see that it is still it has still
Speaker 1: been made alife, and they would have still said you
Speaker 1: need to give it the best chance of living, even
Speaker 1: though science says it won't. Yeah, I could not imagine
Speaker 1: what those women were going through. But then there's a
Speaker 1: part of me that also relates to those three families
Speaker 1: that lost their embryo. I understand and in a way
Speaker 1: what they must be feeling, because I know how unlikely
Speaker 1: it is that I'll probably get any more.
Speaker 3: So imagine if someone had smashed the.
Speaker 1: Someone after what I have just been through. And people
Speaker 1: are going through it a lot more than me. They
Speaker 1: know in ten, fifteen, twenty like, there are people doing
Speaker 1: multiple unsuccessful embryo collections and IDA frowns, So I can't
Speaker 1: imagine how much worse it is for them. But if
Speaker 1: someone if I only had those three and some dickhead
Speaker 1: for whatever reason, just knocked them off and they smashed,
Speaker 1: and I cannot imagine how upset and angry and furious
Speaker 1: you would be that a chance to have a family
Speaker 1: that so many people think about their whole life and
Speaker 1: hold on to has literally just been snatched from their hands.
Speaker 2: Don't get me wrong, I understand why these three families
Speaker 2: brought this as a civil suit and then fought it hard.
Speaker 2: I understand why they did it. But what I don't
Speaker 2: agree with is I don't agree with how the state
Speaker 2: has taken such an emotionally charged case that is such
Speaker 2: a unique case that has never happened before, and use
Speaker 2: that as the basis to change the legislation, which will
Speaker 2: affect everybody, and it affects people who now have embryos,
Speaker 2: who have gone through breakups, divorces who can't use them,
Speaker 2: who have gone through deaths, who have gone through whatever
Speaker 2: the situation is. Imagine if you are married and your
Speaker 2: wife dies and you have embryos on ice, what do
Speaker 2: you do with them? Now You've got the financial implications
Speaker 2: of having to manage the fact that you have at
Speaker 2: your widowed, but also manage the financial implications that you
Speaker 2: have embryos on ice that you can never use or
Speaker 2: you have to donate them to someone to use. And
Speaker 2: then that's another conversation around whether you morally personally can
Speaker 2: do it.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I just think for someone who fucking loved The Handmaid's Tale,
Speaker 2: I see some of this stuff playing out in the States,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, that is exactly where this is headed.
Speaker 2: And I know that this conversation will be very emotionally
Speaker 2: charged for a lot of people. Whether it's because you
Speaker 2: have been through the IVF journey yourself, or maybe it
Speaker 2: is because you are somebody who is deeply religious and
Speaker 2: you hold these views. I understand that you feel the
Speaker 2: way that you feel, and I know that we will
Speaker 2: receive messages from people who may be angry that we
Speaker 2: don't agree with it, But ultimately this affects so many
Speaker 2: more people beyond your personal beliefs. And I guess one
Speaker 2: of the reasons why I get so angry about this,
Speaker 2: and I think we all should be angry about this,
Speaker 2: is that when you really boil it down, the whole
Speaker 2: purpose behind this is to try and preserve and protect children. Ultimately,
Speaker 2: that's what they're trying to say. But I just think
Speaker 2: that is so dressed up, like it's such a farce
Speaker 2: when the biggest killer of children in the United States
Speaker 2: is gun violence and nobody is doing anything, well, I
Speaker 2: mean in terms of when it comes to the political powers,
Speaker 2: it be nobody is doing anything because it's a constitutional
Speaker 2: right to bear arms. And so ultimately, if you care
Speaker 2: so much about kids, do something about gun more one
Speaker 2: hundred percent.
Speaker 1: And the last thing I want to say is to
Speaker 1: be clear, I didn't agree that this should be a
Speaker 1: cause for wrongful death. I don't agree that this legislation
Speaker 1: should be in place, But what I do say, I
Speaker 1: understand is the feeling that those families must have, the
Speaker 1: feeling that they're may be their one chance of a
Speaker 1: family has been taken away from them. But this is
Speaker 1: very evidently something that needs to be I mean, it's
Speaker 1: such a peculiar particular case that we haven't seen before.
Speaker 1: It is a situation that will have to be taken
Speaker 1: day by day, case by case. And what does the benchmark, Well,
Speaker 1: not as a benchmark, And what I mean by that
Speaker 1: is we don't know the exact surroundings of what this
Speaker 1: patient did when they came in and these embryos were destroyed.
Speaker 1: If this patient planned and maliciously broke in to open
Speaker 1: the freezer with the sole intention of destroying these embryos,
Speaker 1: then one hundred percent that person should be held accountable.
Speaker 1: But if there has been some sort of a mistake
Speaker 1: or somebody has decided they no longer want to use
Speaker 1: the embryo, how are those two things related? How are
Speaker 1: those two things connected? But now they are exactly This
Speaker 1: is why it should be a case by case situation. Well,
Speaker 1: it's time for accidentally unfiltered your most embarrassing story out favorite.
Speaker 1: I have one today that relates very much to you, Laura.
Speaker 3: Perfect has it got something to do with feet? I
Speaker 3: actually think wrote it in it sounds like you're read it.
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm gonna be offended now now that
Speaker 2: you've said that, I will be offended.
Speaker 3: I recently had some delightful hemorrhoids mom life, and when
Speaker 3: getting ready forfended.
Speaker 1: Scene and when getting ready for work one day, I
Speaker 1: took a close up photo of my anus so I
Speaker 1: could look at them properly. I then went about my
Speaker 1: day and was at a lovely work lunch catching up
Speaker 1: with an old colleague who asked to see a photo
Speaker 1: of my daughter because it had been a while. Happily,
Speaker 1: I opened my camera role when she sat next to me,
Speaker 1: staring at my screen, right in all its glory, at
Speaker 1: a close photo of my hemorrhoids on my asshole.
Speaker 3: I quickly quickly scrolled past it. I know she saw
Speaker 3: my asshole. She didn't say anything, but you know that
Speaker 3: moment where you're like.
Speaker 1: We all know, you all know that, we just I
Speaker 1: saw what's on the screen, But you know how you like,
Speaker 1: let's just pretend that didn't happen.
Speaker 3: N I think in that moment, you admit it. Sorry, Sorry,
Speaker 3: that is that a hemorrhoid. No, were we going to say, no,
Speaker 3: you don't.
Speaker 2: I mean the person who sees it doesn't the person
Speaker 2: who goes, oh my god, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: I take your photos of my hemorrhoids. Scroll on, scroll on. No, No,
Speaker 3: you don't need to sit in that. That was my doughnut.
Speaker 3: Sorry about that.
Speaker 1: I don't need to sit That's I don't know what
Speaker 1: you say, but I don't think you do an explanation
Speaker 1: of the artwork.
Speaker 3: That you just showed her. Do you know why?
Speaker 2: Because I feel like, now that I've unleashed my my Yeah,
Speaker 2: now that I've unleashed the conversation about my labor, I
Speaker 2: feel like these the types of accilent filters we're going
Speaker 2: to get.
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, I have one more Today.
Speaker 2: It was my birthday, so while I was at the
Speaker 2: local shopping center having a copy with my sister, I
Speaker 2: decided to treat myself to a chicky little massage. Unfortunately
Speaker 2: for me and my masseuse, this was a spur of
Speaker 2: the moment decision, and that morning I had put on
Speaker 2: my oldest, rattiest G string with very minimal support if
Speaker 2: you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm wearing one right now I know.
Speaker 2: As we are about halfway through the massage, the massuf
Speaker 2: moves down and massages my legs and as she goes
Speaker 2: to pop my knee out to the side, well, something.
Speaker 3: Else popped out too. It was my right laber.
Speaker 2: The next twenty minutes were the most awkward of my
Speaker 2: entire life, as I'm sure that she saw more than
Speaker 2: she bargained for.
Speaker 1: Ah, Okay, I have a question. It's fine, no, but
Speaker 1: this is my question.
Speaker 3: And I really mean it.
Speaker 1: Why do all our boundaries and sensibilities go out the
Speaker 1: window when you're getting a massage?
Speaker 3: And what I mean by that is, I mean she
Speaker 3: didn't know it on purpose.
Speaker 1: No, But what I mean by that is, if you
Speaker 1: went to the beach, listen, because I do it. I
Speaker 1: do this when you go to the beach or something.
Speaker 1: If you whatever, if you cross your legs and your
Speaker 1: labyer came out, you're gonna put it back in.
Speaker 3: When you get a massage.
Speaker 1: There's this feeling that happens where you feel like you
Speaker 1: can't like correct yourself.
Speaker 3: So like you know, when you're getting a message and
Speaker 3: I'm gonna have to help you. If my laby is
Speaker 3: laying out on the table, I'm gonna pop it back in.
Speaker 1: No listen, you know when you get a message, I'm
Speaker 1: laying on my back now for those that can't see,
Speaker 1: you know how. And then they'll put your leg into
Speaker 1: like a frog position, and sometimes like I'll do your
Speaker 1: thigh if your flat pops out for some reason, Like
Speaker 1: you know it's.
Speaker 3: A little bit there right, Like you know it's a
Speaker 3: little bit. You don't want to attention to it, but
Speaker 3: you don't. You just like, but well, nothing I can do,
Speaker 3: no there is, but you choose not to. You choose
Speaker 3: just to let it. Why do we do that instead
Speaker 3: of just being like, oh sorry, I'll just put put
Speaker 3: that back in, Like why do we just sit there
Speaker 3: and feel like we can't because you don't want to
Speaker 3: do attention to it. It's there, the flaps out, like
Speaker 3: the attention is drawn to it.
Speaker 2: But it's the same thing as like you just showed
Speaker 2: a photo of your hemorrhoids to a person and you
Speaker 2: didn't want to draw attention to it, so you scrolled
Speaker 2: on past and pretending like it's the pretending like nothing happened.
Speaker 3: Yeah, anyway, let's.
Speaker 2: Talk about suck and sweet before we get our asses
Speaker 2: out of here. My suck for this week? Is that
Speaker 2: Matt this morning hasn't happened yet. Well, I mean it
Speaker 2: kind of has happened, but the effects of it hasn't
Speaker 2: happened yet.
Speaker 3: Matt has gone to Vegas. Oh, really must be nice.
Speaker 3: He's gone to Vegas for ten days.
Speaker 2: He's working with KO, which is a sporting channel, and
Speaker 2: he's over there for the footy.
Speaker 3: So must be real nice. How do you guys do
Speaker 3: this division?
Speaker 2: And you know what I found out? I found this
Speaker 2: out on Sunday just by accident. He mentioned it in
Speaker 2: front of me. So he's been employed to go over
Speaker 2: there as part of Two Doting Dads. Right, so the
Speaker 2: podcast Two Doting Dads, two dads who are doting on
Speaker 2: their children.
Speaker 3: You know that's the whole premise of it. Right.
Speaker 2: So Ko said, come to Vegas. You can bring your kids,
Speaker 2: and he said, Nah, they don't want to come to Vegas.
Speaker 2: That yes, they do, Matt, they want to go to Vegas.
Speaker 3: Have you seen Miley on a blackjack table? That girl
Speaker 3: knows what's up? Made me some money? Mom, the kids
Speaker 3: want to go to Vegas.
Speaker 2: Mama wants the kids to go to Vegas anyway. No,
Speaker 2: I actually don't want them to go to Vegas, but
Speaker 2: it do. It was an option.
Speaker 3: Vegas is where dreams are made. In Vegas. Mommy could
Speaker 3: have been on our own for ten days. Well, he
Speaker 3: conveniently left that little piece of information. Yeah, but he is.
Speaker 3: So he comes back.
Speaker 2: He goes to Vegas for ten days, comes back for five,
Speaker 2: and then he is taking the kids around holidays.
Speaker 3: He's taking them away on p and O Cruz with
Speaker 3: his mum. And you don't get that either. I don't
Speaker 3: get to go on that one. I was like, can
Speaker 3: you draw the short raw.
Speaker 2: That's my suck and my sweet for the week is
Speaker 2: that the weekend, once again, it was fucking great. Tailor
Speaker 2: switched on Friday night was a real high, leaning into
Speaker 2: the cringe, embracing all the things that are dorky and lame,
Speaker 2: and normally people would laugh at you because you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna put my red lipstick on my cowboy boots
Speaker 2: and glitter in my hair and I'm a thirty seven
Speaker 2: year old mum and I don't care. It was so
Speaker 2: dorky and fantastic that I loved every second of it.
Speaker 1: My suck is so I stayed at a hotel over
Speaker 1: the weekend, as I mentioned with my friend Shannon, but
Speaker 1: I get my hallow Fresh delivered on a Sunday. That's
Speaker 1: when it comes, and that's my food for the entire week.
Speaker 1: And I had just bought all of Delilah's food, like
Speaker 1: she has really fresh meats and stuff like that. Salmon, Yeah,
Speaker 1: producer Keisha had Delilah because I was at the hotel.
Speaker 1: So I went back to my house to get the
Speaker 1: Hallowfresh from the hotel and put it in my fridge
Speaker 1: because I was like, I can't leave Hallefresh on the
Speaker 1: street for two days eight It'll be gone or it'll
Speaker 1: be off if someone doesn't take it. So I went
Speaker 1: home from the hotel, got the Halo Fresh, put in
Speaker 1: the fridge, and then went back to the hotel. And
Speaker 1: then Keisha dropped a Lilah home this morning and she's
Speaker 1: actually it was the funniest message. Hey, Bridge, did you
Speaker 1: mean to leave your fridge open and off? No, Keisha,
Speaker 1: I did not mean to leave my fridge to open
Speaker 1: and the power off as a full fridge.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, no, Kisha, I didn't mean that. Why
Speaker 3: she goes, well, it's opening.
Speaker 1: Off and anyway, my entire fridge and freezer is off
Speaker 1: and I'm talking.
Speaker 3: I've never had a fridge so full of food. How
Speaker 3: full is it?
Speaker 1: Produced kiture, It's so full. Everything everything is off.
Speaker 3: That's really sad. It's the biggest suck.
Speaker 2: And my sweet day Swift, you really need to wash
Speaker 2: the glitter off your face.
Speaker 3: I think that's highlighter. I might have gone too heavy.
Speaker 2: Heyway, guys, that is it from us. We hope you
Speaker 2: love the episode. If you did it, you can always
Speaker 2: jump on and follow us wherever you listen to your podcast,
Speaker 2: because it means that every episode will fall into your feed.
Speaker 2: And you can follow us on Instagram, lip one Cup
Speaker 2: podcast or on TikTok. And then we also have the
Speaker 2: discussion group where you can join in the conversations.
Speaker 3: And that's it from us.
Speaker 2: Guys.
Speaker 3: You know the trip to yourmum, tay dad, to your
Speaker 3: dog day friends and share I love because we love
Speaker 3: love