1 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,600 Speaker 1: Birthday party politics. Oh my goodness, what do you do 2 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 1: when it's time for a birthday party for your children 3 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:14,720 Speaker 1: and your child wants to invite the whole class, or worse, 4 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:16,960 Speaker 1: they only want to invite a couple of people, but 5 00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 1: you're worried that people will find out? Or what do 6 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,680 Speaker 1: you do when your child doesn't get an invite to 7 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 1: somebody who they thought was their friend when their friends 8 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:29,320 Speaker 1: having a party. Hello, This is The Happy Family's podcast, 9 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:33,519 Speaker 1: Real Parenting Solutions, every day on Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast. 10 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:36,239 Speaker 1: We are Justin and Kylie Courson. We're the parents, have 11 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:38,800 Speaker 1: six kids, and we've done We've been through the ringer 12 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:41,879 Speaker 1: on the birthday party circus. I think would be the 13 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:42,599 Speaker 1: right word for it. 14 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,920 Speaker 2: I want to say that this is a jen Alpha 15 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 2: specific challenge as well as a kid. I don't remember 16 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 2: getting too. 17 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 1: Upset as a kid back in my day. Sorry, every 18 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:57,240 Speaker 1: time you say I shouldn't I shouldn't do this, But 19 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:00,560 Speaker 1: when I say when I was a kid, the kids 20 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:02,400 Speaker 1: look at me, they roll their eyes and they're like, 21 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 1: you are so old. 22 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:05,520 Speaker 2: You are so old. 23 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:08,399 Speaker 1: You mean back in the nineteen hundreds, Dad, back in 24 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 1: the nineteen hundreds when you were a kid. So when 25 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,759 Speaker 1: I was a kid, sonny is what missus? Anyway, when 26 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: you were a kid, When you were a kid growing 27 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 1: up in the nineteen seventies of the nineteen eighties and 28 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: having birthday parties, what happened missus? Happy families. 29 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 2: I don't ever remember being part of a mass celebration. 30 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:30,320 Speaker 2: Birthday parties were a really I'm going to say, intimate affair. 31 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 2: There was only a handful of kids that came along. 32 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,679 Speaker 2: The parties you really wanted to go to were the 33 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,360 Speaker 2: McDonald's parties where you got your happy meal, like that 34 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:39,480 Speaker 2: was exciting. 35 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 1: I have a story about so New Southwest Central Coast 36 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,840 Speaker 1: West Gosford yack Donald's. I call it yack Donalds McDonald's, 37 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. There was a railway carriage 38 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,040 Speaker 1: on the grounds there and that's where they hosted all 39 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:54,080 Speaker 1: the kid's birthday parties. And I got excited at my 40 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,360 Speaker 1: birthday party. I've always been known to have a good appetite. 41 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:58,120 Speaker 1: I was eight or nine years of age, and I 42 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 1: ate so many happy meals that actually you don't want, 43 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,560 Speaker 1: you don't want the rest of the story. It wasn't 44 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 1: a happy day for me. It ended up being really miserable, 45 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:06,520 Speaker 1: but all my friends had a great time at that 46 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,320 Speaker 1: birthday party. I'm so sorry. I don't know why I 47 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 1: share that story. I would agree, though, I mean, when 48 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: I was a kid, we tended to have just a 49 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:14,079 Speaker 1: few close friends come along. 50 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 2: It was about having your best friends. Yeah, the kids 51 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:19,680 Speaker 2: that you hang out with all the time, people that 52 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,680 Speaker 2: you have what I would consider intimate relationships with. 53 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:26,120 Speaker 1: The tip wasn't about parcel how. 54 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 2: Many people can I squeeze into the laundroom? 55 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,600 Speaker 1: And the less people you had, the more cake you 56 00:02:29,639 --> 00:02:30,240 Speaker 1: got on your plate. 57 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 2: But here's the thing, because it was an intimate affear, 58 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:38,480 Speaker 2: you didn't have fourteen girls in the class upset that 59 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 2: they didn't get to come to your birthday party. 60 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,600 Speaker 1: Because everyone knew there was only six people invited in total. 61 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:44,400 Speaker 1: And unless you were a bestie. 62 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,680 Speaker 2: And they're your best friends, right yeah, yeah, But when 63 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,639 Speaker 2: you start inviting other kids who are on the fringes 64 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 2: of your social groups, and then other kids are looking 65 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:54,680 Speaker 2: and going well, hanging a sec they're about the same 66 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:56,560 Speaker 2: good status as me. 67 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:58,800 Speaker 1: This is a great insight. The more people you have, 68 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,200 Speaker 1: the more people expect to go because the more they say, well, 69 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:04,160 Speaker 1: it's for everybody because you're not close with that many people. 70 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:07,600 Speaker 1: Whereas the smaller parties, even as adults, it's much nicer 71 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 1: to sit down with two or four friends, like a 72 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,680 Speaker 1: total party of six, than to have thirty people around. 73 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,280 Speaker 1: It just doesn't feel as good. I like where you're going. 74 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,320 Speaker 1: So if I'm a parent and I'm having a birthday 75 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 1: party for my kiddo sometime in term one this year, 76 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:23,240 Speaker 1: I'm planning something for term two, what do I need 77 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 1: to think about as a host in terms of numbers. 78 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:28,679 Speaker 2: Look, I'm a party planner. I absolutely love this. This 79 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:29,960 Speaker 2: is my favorite space. 80 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,560 Speaker 1: You theme our kids' parties, which I find a little 81 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,160 Speaker 1: bit extra, but you can't get enough of it. 82 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 2: It's my creative outlet. 83 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and you do it really well. 84 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:39,680 Speaker 2: So the kids don't ever say to me, Mum, I 85 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 2: really loved my ninth birthday, but they will say to me, Mum, 86 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:44,960 Speaker 2: you know that paint party you did for me? I 87 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,520 Speaker 2: did a paint party. I think. I think every one 88 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,520 Speaker 2: of our children have had a paint party at different ages. Right, 89 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:52,760 Speaker 2: So our sixteen year old decided she wanted to have 90 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,320 Speaker 2: a paint war. I remember that, and we went down 91 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:59,080 Speaker 2: to the local high school and used their field and 92 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 2: they all had a white T shirt and they completely 93 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:05,880 Speaker 2: obliterate each other with paint and it was awesome. 94 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,080 Speaker 1: So moving away from themes, because that's not the purposes today, 95 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:11,120 Speaker 1: we're talking about birthday party politics. 96 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:15,880 Speaker 2: The politics. The most important thing to start any party 97 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:20,599 Speaker 2: planning is who's coming? Right, who's coming? I think it's 98 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:23,320 Speaker 2: a really important conversation to be having with our kids. 99 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:26,120 Speaker 2: Who do you want to come to your party? And why? 100 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:29,159 Speaker 1: Okay, I have a question for you, a legitimate question. 101 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,200 Speaker 1: I have an opinion on it, but I don't really 102 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:34,680 Speaker 1: know the answer. Is it okay to have everyone in 103 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:35,880 Speaker 1: the class come to the party. 104 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:37,920 Speaker 2: Of course, if you want to do that, that's fine. Right. 105 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:39,680 Speaker 1: So, if you've got the space, you've got the resources, 106 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 1: you've got the time, if you're willing to put the 107 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,560 Speaker 1: effort in to have thirty kids in the house, fill 108 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: your boots, go for it. But that's not most people. 109 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:46,599 Speaker 1: Is that fair? 110 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not most people. Therefore, I actually feel like 111 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:54,279 Speaker 2: you're setting up for failure. That's honestly, my honest opinion. 112 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:59,480 Speaker 2: It's a chaotic experience and for most kids it's actually overwhelmed. 113 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,599 Speaker 1: Okay, So here's what I'm hearing. If you're hosting, work 114 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 1: out the logistics, figure out who your child really wants 115 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:08,720 Speaker 1: to invite, and keep it to numbers that everybody feels 116 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:12,520 Speaker 1: can be practical and work really nicely. I've got one 117 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 1: other piece of advice on this, and just one that is, 118 00:05:16,279 --> 00:05:19,480 Speaker 1: once you've got your invite list, communicate with the invitees 119 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:23,000 Speaker 1: that is the children and also with the parents and 120 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 1: let them know this is a small thing when not 121 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,400 Speaker 1: inviting everybody. And we'd really like it if you could 122 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 1: be thoughtful and consider it of others by not telling 123 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:34,640 Speaker 1: everybody that this party is happening. Otherwise people are going 124 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 1: to feel like they're missing out and it puts everybody 125 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:37,680 Speaker 1: in awkward positions. 126 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,760 Speaker 2: Yeah. I think the only time that it's really affected 127 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 2: me is when someone has come to me and said, oh, 128 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,320 Speaker 2: are you going to so and so's birthday party? 129 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:47,280 Speaker 1: And you kind of go, oh, it's like that, am 130 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:48,360 Speaker 1: I not important to them? 131 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 2: Yeah? 132 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:49,280 Speaker 1: Yeah? 133 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 2: Yeah. But outside of that, knowing that they've had a 134 00:05:52,279 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 2: birthday party and I wasn't invited didn't affect me in 135 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 2: the same way. 136 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 1: In school playgrounds, I've heard this far too often. Kids 137 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:00,280 Speaker 1: will go up to one another and say you going 138 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:03,400 Speaker 1: to Soonso's birthday party. And that's the painful bit. So 139 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,719 Speaker 1: teaching the kids, I mean, this is a great opportunity 140 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 1: to teach it a little bit of emotional intelligence, to 141 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:10,599 Speaker 1: teach empathy, help children to understand that being invited to 142 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 1: a birthday party is a privilege and we should approach 143 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:19,039 Speaker 1: it with sensitivity because not everybody gets an invite. To me, 144 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,440 Speaker 1: that's the best way to deal with the birthday party politics. 145 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 1: When you're hosting so. 146 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 2: I guess inviting in the inviting process, it's really important 147 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,480 Speaker 2: that we're discreed as well. If we're having six. 148 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:31,920 Speaker 1: Kids in my walk around the classroom holding out the 149 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,039 Speaker 1: who's coming to my party? I wonder who's going to 150 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:35,960 Speaker 1: get this invitation? 151 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:39,159 Speaker 2: And so often that's what happens, right because we're busy, 152 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:42,000 Speaker 2: we don't know the kids' parents and things like that, 153 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:43,719 Speaker 2: and so it can be a little bit challenging. 154 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 1: The classroom WhatsApp group could go haywire if we. 155 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,200 Speaker 2: Do this wrong. Yeah, but for younger kids, what has 156 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:52,279 Speaker 2: worked really well in the past is actually handing the 157 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:55,000 Speaker 2: invites to the teacher. Usually kids will have a homework 158 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:57,040 Speaker 2: folder or something and they can just slot it into 159 00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:01,440 Speaker 2: the homework folder without anyone being aware of it, nice 160 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 2: and discreet. If you know the parents, then obviously you 161 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:07,839 Speaker 2: can send it via snail mail. Who does that anymore? 162 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:10,120 Speaker 2: Does anyone do that? I don't know, but I love 163 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:11,680 Speaker 2: getting in a letter, just putting it out there if 164 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:16,440 Speaker 2: anyone wants to send meone. But with social media as well, 165 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 2: we've got avenues that we can send digital invites that 166 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 2: again don't have to be passed around in the classroom. 167 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:27,320 Speaker 1: Okay, so birthday party politics when you're hosting discretion is 168 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 1: probably the number one tip. After the break, we're going 169 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 1: to talk about what happens when your child is not 170 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,000 Speaker 1: invited to a party that you're pretty sure they should 171 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:46,119 Speaker 1: have been invited to. Okay, birthday party politics. Your child 172 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 1: hasn't been invited to a birthday party. You thought that 173 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:53,640 Speaker 1: your child was great friends with this kiddo, and now 174 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 1: they're on the outer. My advice two words, crash it. 175 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 2: You're so bad. 176 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,640 Speaker 1: Now, I'm just kidding, you're so bad. 177 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 2: I'm just going back to the one word that you 178 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:12,080 Speaker 2: used before the break was privilege. It's a privilege to 179 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 2: be invited, and sometimes that privilege is not afforded to us, 180 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:20,680 Speaker 2: and this is a really awesome opportunity to teach again 181 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 2: teach our kids' empathy. This doesn't feel nice, does it? 182 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 2: If you know, when it comes time for you to invite, 183 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,800 Speaker 2: it's really important to be aware of our other people 184 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:32,520 Speaker 2: may feel. 185 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, how are you going to hand out the invitations? 186 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:35,560 Speaker 2: Yes? 187 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:36,680 Speaker 1: How are you going to communicate? 188 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 2: Secondly, if you want to put a really positive spin 189 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,920 Speaker 2: on this, this is actually a wonderful opportunity for you 190 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,959 Speaker 2: to say, Look, I know you weren't invited to the party, 191 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,720 Speaker 2: but why don't we have so and so over when 192 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,560 Speaker 2: we can celebrate their birthday together? And I've done that 193 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:52,520 Speaker 2: with a few of our kids, and I actually have 194 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:56,079 Speaker 2: turned it into an opportunity for them to have one 195 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:59,640 Speaker 2: on one time with their friend and we've celebrated by 196 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,760 Speaker 2: going out, having a special dinner or going down to 197 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:04,000 Speaker 2: the park depending on what age they are, and doing 198 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:04,960 Speaker 2: something nice together. 199 00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:08,079 Speaker 1: Yeah, it softens the blow. I mean, you don't have 200 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:10,320 Speaker 1: to do something like that, but it's really nice when 201 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,480 Speaker 1: the kids feel like you've got that. They're a bit 202 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,880 Speaker 1: sad and they do have other friends and other ways 203 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 1: of spending time with people that they love. I think 204 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,640 Speaker 1: it's really a nice idea. There are a couple of 205 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:22,640 Speaker 1: other things that I'd love to share that might be useful. 206 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 1: First one, I'm a I'm a bit so so on 207 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 1: it really depends on the nature of the relationship that 208 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:29,559 Speaker 1: you share with the other adult and the quality of 209 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 1: the relationship that your child has with their child. I 210 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 1: think that it could work from time to time if 211 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,640 Speaker 1: you just approached them and said, Hey, is everything okay 212 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:39,840 Speaker 1: with our kids? I heard there was a party that 213 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:43,079 Speaker 1: you guys are having and that my one hadn't been invited. 214 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 1: I thought things were good. I just want to make 215 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:48,480 Speaker 1: sure it is still good. There's no pressure, there's no guilt, 216 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 1: and we're totally fine if it can't happen. Just wanted 217 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:52,280 Speaker 1: to check in. 218 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:54,839 Speaker 2: So I'm going to push back on that one. Maybe 219 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,840 Speaker 2: because I don't like confrontation. 220 00:09:57,559 --> 00:09:58,559 Speaker 1: I can be kind of direct. 221 00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:01,680 Speaker 2: It's definitely not something that I would be comfortable or 222 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:05,640 Speaker 2: comfortable having somebody come to me with that. But I think, 223 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:09,480 Speaker 2: based on my previous experience and the conversations that I've 224 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:13,560 Speaker 2: been part of, when parents have done that, it kind 225 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,400 Speaker 2: of comes across like a little bit of entitlement. My 226 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,959 Speaker 2: child should be there, and I'm not sure why. If 227 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 2: you were going to have that conversation, I would suggest 228 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 2: having it after the parties happened. You're not actually asking 229 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:28,200 Speaker 2: for the children to attend, but you are checking in 230 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,559 Speaker 2: to just say, you know, hey, I heard there was 231 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:33,840 Speaker 2: a party. I'm not upset. I just want to check 232 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:36,720 Speaker 2: in and see if everything's okay with our kids. Right. 233 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:40,480 Speaker 2: I thought the kids were quite good friends, and I'm 234 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 2: just making sure is there anything I can do to 235 00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:44,199 Speaker 2: support their relationship? 236 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:45,600 Speaker 1: And I love the way you've told me that I'm 237 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,839 Speaker 1: wrong with what I've said without telling me that I'm wrong. 238 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:49,760 Speaker 1: By coming up with a better idea but making it 239 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,840 Speaker 1: sound like it was my idea. That's a great idea. 240 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,560 Speaker 1: The other one you might also push back on, although 241 00:10:55,559 --> 00:10:57,360 Speaker 1: I don't think that you will. There's been a bit 242 00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:00,560 Speaker 1: of noise made on socials recently with a US commentator 243 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 1: and author by the name of Mel Robbins who's got 244 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 1: this new book out called Let Them, and I think 245 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:08,000 Speaker 1: this is a great opportunity for us to just teach 246 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,880 Speaker 1: our kids some resilience, let them know that sometimes life 247 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 1: is like that. If they're going to have a party 248 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,320 Speaker 1: and not invite you let them. If they're going to 249 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,200 Speaker 1: invite a whole bunch of people around and you're going 250 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,720 Speaker 1: to miss out, let them. This is their life, this 251 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,280 Speaker 1: is their choice. You'll have your opportunity to make your 252 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:25,680 Speaker 1: decisions at the appropriate time as well. Let's let them be. 253 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:29,160 Speaker 1: That's who they are, that's what they've decided, and that's fine. 254 00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:32,480 Speaker 1: I think there's real power in just accepting that this 255 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:37,760 Speaker 1: is what they've decided to do and letting them be them, and. 256 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:41,400 Speaker 2: Going back to that conversation around empathy. This gives our 257 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 2: children a wonderful opportunity to take a different perspective and 258 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:50,360 Speaker 2: recognize how other people feel in the same situation. 259 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:55,520 Speaker 1: Okay, there's the birthday party politics unraveled. Hopefully hopefully so 260 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,719 Speaker 1: real parenting solutions you can use very very soon. I'm 261 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,319 Speaker 1: sure that this is to come up in most primary 262 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:04,400 Speaker 1: school classes in the next little while. The Happy Family 263 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:07,679 Speaker 1: podcast is produced by Justin Roland from Bridge Media. If 264 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:10,480 Speaker 1: you'd like more info and more resources for making your 265 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,680 Speaker 1: family happier, please visit us at Happy families dot com 266 00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:15,679 Speaker 1: dot au.