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Speaker 1: Hello.

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Speaker 2: My name is Satasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud or

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Speaker 2: the Order Kerni Whaltbury and a waddery woman. And before

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Speaker 2: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I

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Speaker 2: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land

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Speaker 2: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country.

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Speaker 2: Acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through.

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Speaker 2: As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and

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Speaker 2: the storytelling of you to make a difference for today

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Speaker 2: and lasting impact for tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: Let's get into it.

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Speaker 3: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.

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Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money. The podcast

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Speaker 1: does that let's you be pervy about other people's money

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Speaker 1: habits educational purposes of course. Welcome back to another one

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Speaker 1: of our money diaries where I get the absolute privilege

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Speaker 1: of talking to one of our incredible She's on the

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Speaker 1: Money community members all about their journey. Before I read

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Speaker 1: out today's email, I actually just want to jump in

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Speaker 1: here and give a content warning. So today we are

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Speaker 1: going to be discussing domestic violence. We are going to

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Speaker 1: be talking about financial abuse, and if that's not for

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Speaker 1: you and you aren't in the mood for hearing that,

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Speaker 1: or it is a story that is one that you

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Speaker 1: just don't really want to hear right now, jump off.

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Speaker 1: We have more than seven hundred other episodes you can

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Speaker 1: listen to, but if you're still sticking around, let's get

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Speaker 1: into it. This week, I got a very powerful message

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Speaker 1: and it sounded like this, dear, she's on the money.

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Speaker 1: I grew up in a working class family. Mum raised

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Speaker 1: two kids on her own, and my dad didn't pay

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Speaker 1: child support, so she busted her balls, working three jobs.

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Speaker 1: I've seen her lose money due to relationship breakdowns, one boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: Our house down when I was in grade four, which

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Speaker 1: left us with nothing. I've always been sensible with money,

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Speaker 1: but normal. Then I married into a very wealthy family,

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Speaker 1: super yachts rich. My husband didn't want me to work,

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Speaker 1: and I followed him and his career, and I got

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Speaker 1: sucked in by all the shiny things. After I sold

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Speaker 1: my only asset, my home, I discovered over time he

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Speaker 1: was conning people for money. We lived a very lavish life,

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Speaker 1: but other people were paying for it. I had no control, understanding,

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Speaker 1: or access to money. During our marriage. I had to

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Speaker 1: ask for money for petrol. We didn't even have a

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Speaker 1: joint account. One day, when he was away for work,

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Speaker 1: I left my Porsche keys on the coffee table and

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Speaker 1: fled into State with our six month old baby with

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Speaker 1: no access to money. My story has been a wild ride,

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Speaker 1: and I am now obsessed with getting back in front financially.

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Speaker 1: I would love to be brave and shared the story, Diarist,

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Speaker 1: What a privilege that you want to share it with me.

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Speaker 4: Thank you so much. That sounds so strange to hear

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Speaker 4: that being read back to me.

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Speaker 1: It's weird when it's vocalized, isn't it. Everyone says that

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Speaker 1: they're always like, oh my god, Like I'm pretty cool,

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Speaker 1: an't I? It's true, though, I am so excited to

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Speaker 1: ask so many perfect questions about this. But before we

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Speaker 1: get their money, Diarist, what grade would you give your

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Speaker 1: money habits? From A through to F.

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Speaker 4: I'm going to say A C C.

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Speaker 1: All right, Well, now we get to learn more about

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Speaker 1: that money, Diarist, Can you tell me a little bit

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Speaker 1: more about your money story?

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Speaker 4: I can so grew up in a very normal working

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Speaker 4: class situation. I was definitely fed the message to put

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Speaker 4: your head down, bump up work, buy a house as

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Speaker 4: the first thing that you do and then live your life,

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Speaker 4: and that was your main asset. It was very I guess,

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Speaker 4: very standard, nothing too adventurous, but safe the message that

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Speaker 4: I got. And I saw my mum do, and yeah,

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Speaker 4: I think I was on track for that, and I yeah,

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Speaker 4: fell into a situation where I got a dazzled by

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Speaker 4: someone who I thought was smarter than me with money,

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Speaker 4: someone who I thought was way in front of me

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Speaker 4: with money. And I got really impressed by that.

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Speaker 1: Of course, like I would be too, even if like

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Speaker 1: I'm friends with someone who's doing well, Like it's not

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Speaker 1: just about them having lots of money. Usually if you

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Speaker 1: have lots of money, you probably have a business or

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Speaker 1: you're like really tenacious or like really confident. Like it's

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Speaker 1: not it's not just like, oh they have money, how attractive.

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Speaker 1: It's like all of the other stuff that comes along

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Speaker 1: with it. That's not just the stuff. It's like the

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Speaker 1: personality traits.

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Speaker 4: Right, Ah, that is exactly right. I got impressed with

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Speaker 4: the confidence, the vision, all of that.

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Speaker 1: We all want that though, Like you will impress me

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Speaker 1: if you've got vision, you got confidence. I'm like, I'm

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Speaker 1: on this journey with your baby, like we aren't even

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Speaker 1: getting married. I just want to be a.

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Speaker 4: Friend, Like, yeah, that's right. And I'd seen my mom struggle,

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Speaker 4: like really struggle. I mean I remember coming home from

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Speaker 4: school every night on my own, you know, having to

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Speaker 4: do like prep dinner. We didn't do lavish holidays. You know.

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Speaker 4: My mom just made ends meet, basically, And like I

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Speaker 4: said in my intro, I saw my mom lose a

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Speaker 4: lot of money and everything when our house burnt down

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Speaker 4: and having to start from scratch. I'm talking wearing hand

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Speaker 4: me down clothes to school and everything.

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Speaker 1: That is a piece of the puzzle that I think

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Speaker 1: we have glossed over here. Your house got burned down

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Speaker 1: by your mum's at the time boyfriend.

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Speaker 4: Yes, so she'd ended the relationship and here he was

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Speaker 4: very jealous and controlling and we went away for a

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Speaker 4: weekend and we weren't going twenty four hours in our

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Speaker 4: house was burnt to the ground, she deliberately. Yeah. So

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Speaker 4: I think, yes, the history there of like the financial

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Speaker 4: ups and downs is really strong for me. And also

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Speaker 4: that kind of power and control dynamic going on. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: So that's something that I've had to really face and

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Speaker 4: kind of live with and kind of hopefully overcome. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: but that was rough.

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Speaker 1: Because that's trauma. Like that's not just rough, that's serious.

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Speaker 1: Trump is your mum? Okay, now my mom is.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. Like with that background that I said, it was

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Speaker 4: very sensible. You know, we didn't live outside our means

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Speaker 4: or buy something if we couldn't afford it. That was

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Speaker 4: always the message that I got. So Mom didn't go

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Speaker 4: out and buy a brand new couch when her house

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Speaker 4: got rebuilt. She waited. So we didn't have a couch

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Speaker 4: for a year, you know what I mean? So, or

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Speaker 4: we had hand me downs and so when we got

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Speaker 4: that couch after a year, it was like the best

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Speaker 4: thing ever. So I've taken those things into my life

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Speaker 4: where we don't you know, I don't live outside my means,

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Speaker 4: and you know I say for things or I say

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Speaker 4: no if I can't if it's not going to work

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Speaker 4: for me financially to go away that weekend.

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Speaker 1: Or yeah, totally. So you've grown up like most of us.

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Speaker 1: And then how old were you? You met what you

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Speaker 1: thought was the man of your dreams? But how did

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Speaker 1: that eventuate? Honestly? Like, I know this didn't work out

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Speaker 1: for you, but how do we meet someone who's super

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Speaker 1: yacht rich, Like, how do we do that because like

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Speaker 1: like key asking for a friend.

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Speaker 4: Ah yeah, that's a point of contentious issue with myself

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Speaker 4: and my best friend because she introduced us.

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Speaker 1: Oh the audacity.

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Speaker 4: She didn't know.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, if I had a super yacht rich friend and

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Speaker 1: then my friend was single, I'd be like, guys, I

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Speaker 1: have a match for you.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah. She thought she was doing great thing. And honestly,

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Speaker 4: I just went head over heels. You know, I was

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Speaker 4: swept off my feet. There was the full fairy tale scenario.

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Speaker 4: So I had just recently come out of a relationship

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Speaker 4: of six or seven years, and you know, I was

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Speaker 4: grieving that. And it wasn't a bad breakup or anything.

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Speaker 4: We just I'd come to the end of our end

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Speaker 4: of our time, and you know, I was in my

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Speaker 4: mid thirties, and I just knew it wasn't the guy

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Speaker 4: that I was going to have, you know, get married

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Speaker 4: to and have children with. So we ended it. And

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Speaker 4: then it wasn't only six months later that this other

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Speaker 4: person came into my life, and you know, I was

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Speaker 4: still grieving and feeling that loneliness that you feel post

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Speaker 4: break up and questioning your life and what's going to

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Speaker 4: happen and I'm not going to have children and all this.

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Speaker 1: Time, I'm going to be single forever.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I literally thought I'm going to be single forever. And

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Speaker 4: then I met this guy and it was like lavishness

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Speaker 4: from the start, you know, dinners flying here, flying there.

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Speaker 1: So you got completely love Bob.

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Speaker 4: Oh. Yeah, who doesn't like having huge bouquets of flowers,

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Speaker 4: you know, turning up at their office.

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to lie, like I get that, Like

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Speaker 1: I'm just a girl at the end of the day.

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Speaker 1: Like that sounds fun. Like I wish I'd been more

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Speaker 1: adventurous in my dating years, you know.

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Speaker 4: And I think I saw my mom go through such

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Speaker 4: struggle and I became, you know, so hyper independent. You know,

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Speaker 4: I just built my own house. Like I was so

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Speaker 4: independent that I think for there was a time I went,

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Speaker 4: oh my god, I don't have to be here's someone

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Speaker 4: saying you don't have to work, you don't have to

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Speaker 4: do this, you can have whatever you and I went,

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Speaker 4: oh my god. What It was almost like a relief.

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Speaker 4: I went, wow, you know, maybe this is so nice.

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Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah. So but what I didn't do was

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Speaker 4: really evaluate the situation and kind of see those red.

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Speaker 1: Fogs tinted glasses on, and when you see red flags

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Speaker 1: through rose tinted glasses, they look pink.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, so the red flags are it? You know?

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Speaker 4: And I will say this to anyone that's listening. The

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Speaker 4: red flags are there from the start, but we.

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Speaker 1: Don't want to look at them and like, oh, like

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Speaker 1: red flags are so easy to look past. When you

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Speaker 1: get a really big bunch of flowers, you're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: clearly he didn't mean that. Like, don't get me wrong,

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Speaker 1: I'm not endorsing that because we don't want that to happen.

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Speaker 1: Like you're sharing your story obviously for a number of reasons,

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Speaker 1: but one of them would be because you don't want

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Speaker 1: this to happen to somebody else's right. I also don't

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Speaker 1: want people to feel shamed that they went through it.

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Speaker 1: And I'm sure that you went through that period of

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Speaker 1: time and you'd be like, oh my god, I'm so embarrassed,

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Speaker 1: Like these red flags were here the whole time. No,

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Speaker 1: Like we are innately emotional human beings. We can we

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Speaker 1: can maybe look past a red flag if it feels good.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely, I still feel like, how how how did I

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Speaker 4: not act on that? Or how did I let that go.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I would never again, but yes, I mean

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Speaker 4: I'd also come out of a relationship with a really

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Speaker 4: nice person.

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Speaker 1: So you just don't expect it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I didn't expect it, but it's amazing how quickly

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Speaker 4: I lost my footing. You know, within six months, I

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Speaker 4: wasn't working, Like I'm the person that's always had two

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Speaker 4: jobs and all the things. But next minute I was,

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Speaker 4: you know, overseas following his business ventures, and I wasn't working.

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Speaker 4: And it is insane. How if you don't, I don't

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Speaker 4: have money coming in of your own, how quickly that

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Speaker 4: starts to destabilize you and make you feel wobbly, And

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Speaker 4: the power dynamic shifts almost instantly. And even though I

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Speaker 4: was reassured by him that you know, this was going

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Speaker 4: to be like an easy thing and he was going

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Speaker 4: to look after me and I didn't have anything to

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Speaker 4: worry about, et cetera, et cetera, that I was instantly changed.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Wow, he I'd flown across the world and you know,

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Speaker 4: had committed to going overseas for this year period which

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Speaker 4: ended up being two years, and I didn't work, And

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Speaker 4: so I found myself feeling very much the power dynamic

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Speaker 4: me being at the bottom and him being at the top.

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Speaker 4: And it wasn't a good situation because I didn't get

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Speaker 4: an idea of money with us, Like, I didn't know

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Speaker 4: where money was coming in from. I didn't have any

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Speaker 4: clue as to the financial situation. I was given a

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Speaker 4: little bit of money every day and I'd go out

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Speaker 4: and buy the groceries and you know, do my thing,

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Speaker 4: and I just, yeah, that was the beginning of being

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Speaker 4: incredibly disempowered around money and falling into a situation where

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Speaker 4: my self esteem got really affected by it, and it

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Speaker 4: just continued.

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Speaker 1: Then yeah, wow, so you met this guy. He swept

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Speaker 1: you off your feet literally and figuratively. You're not working

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Speaker 1: six months in Like, honestly, this could have worked out

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Speaker 1: so well if he wasn't who he was and he

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Speaker 1: wasn't like, it could have been a dream life. And

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Speaker 1: that's exactly what you were anticipating. Someone once said to

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Speaker 1: me that the reason you didn't see the red flags

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Speaker 1: was because you would never operate in the same way,

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Speaker 1: so you didn't know what you were looking for. If

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Speaker 1: you just saw it, and if you had bought a

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Speaker 1: really big bouquet of flowers for somebody, it would have

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Speaker 1: been from a place of love, and you would have

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Speaker 1: assumed that that's what everybody does, right, Like, if you

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Speaker 1: want to buy me flowers, it would be coming from

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Speaker 1: a great place because if it was reciprocal, that's how

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Speaker 1: I would have meant it. So you're not thinking that, honestly,

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Speaker 1: the strategy and the thought process and what love bombing is,

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Speaker 1: because you're just like, oh, that's so nice, Like I

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Speaker 1: wish I'd thought of that. And I think that that's

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Speaker 1: something you need to remember because so many people in

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Speaker 1: situations like this, they blame themselves. And it's like, don't

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Speaker 1: blame yourself. In fact, reward yourself because you're such a

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Speaker 1: good person that that wouldn't have even been a part

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Speaker 1: of your thought process to do something like that, And

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Speaker 1: that's why it swept you off your feet, Like that's

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Speaker 1: why it was so easy for them to do to you.

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Speaker 4: I know, talk about sitting dark. I mean, if I

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Speaker 4: owed someone fifty dollars and forgot to pay, I'd feel

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Speaker 4: really bad about that, you know, And I, like I said,

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Speaker 4: I'd always lived in my means, so I didn't know.

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Speaker 4: I didn't have experience with people living outside of their

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Speaker 4: means to such an extent either so or you know,

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Speaker 4: being murky around money, because my family was very just straightforward. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: So then when we came back.

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Speaker 1: So you've been away for two years, you came back

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Speaker 1: and then did you get married?

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Speaker 4: Yes? Great, got married? Had the two hundred odd thousand

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Speaker 4: dollar wedding.

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Speaker 1: Geez, Louise, what's a two hundred thousand dollar wedding buy

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Speaker 1: you lots of stuff?

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Speaker 4: No? But this is how extreme it was. So my

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Speaker 4: wedding dress, you would think for a two hundred thousand

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Speaker 4: dollar wedding would be what like a what I think

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Speaker 4: it was two hundred and fifty dollars? Excuse me? Like

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Speaker 4: I didn't have money to buy a wedding dress. I didn't.

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Speaker 1: Wait what that wasn't part of How do you have

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Speaker 1: a two hundred thousand dollar wedding and then the bride

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Speaker 1: doesn't have access to cash?

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Speaker 4: I know, I know, I can't, Like I'm saying it now,

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Speaker 4: like a how I didn't have an f postcard that

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Speaker 4: had money on it?

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Speaker 1: I didn't, And like that makes sense, but like how

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Speaker 1: was this guy that you married paying for stuff? And

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Speaker 1: did you ever say, oh, can I have money for

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Speaker 1: a wedding dress? Or is that in budget, Like how

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Speaker 1: do these conversations eventuate. I'm just being pervy. I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be allowed to ask this if it was just two

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Speaker 1: friends at brunch, but like we're on money podcast, I'm

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Speaker 1: meant to ask this.

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Speaker 4: I want to share this because I think money plays

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Speaker 4: such a big part in women's health and sense of

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Speaker 4: safety and sense of everything, security options. And I think

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Speaker 4: by the time I got back from overseas, I was

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Speaker 4: so wobbly, and I didn't have that income for the

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Speaker 4: last two years, and yeah, so I felt like I

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Speaker 4: couldn't ask him anything about money because I would be

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Speaker 4: dismissed or made to feel that I wouldn't get it,

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Speaker 4: you know, or like I think I was called simple

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Speaker 4: minded a few times, just like constantly put down so

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Speaker 4: that I, you know, as if I wouldn't get the

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Speaker 4: big vision or wouldn't get the picture because that's not

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Speaker 4: my background. And so I think my self esteem was

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Speaker 4: so low that I felt like I couldn't ask for

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Speaker 4: those things, so I didn't. I just kind of plodded

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Speaker 4: along on my own, doing my own thing, and as

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Speaker 4: a result, antic lavish wedding, like I went and bought

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Speaker 4: a two hundred and fifty dollar dress, which looked pretty

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Speaker 4: cool actually, but you like, I still have style.

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Speaker 1: Come on, but I remember borrowing, like I remember.

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Speaker 4: My brother paying for like a flower for my hair,

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Speaker 4: And yeah, it was really really confronting. But everyone at

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Speaker 4: that wedding thought that I had the most amazing life

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Speaker 4: and that this was all like, you know, no one knew.

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Speaker 4: I didn't tell anyone this stuff. I was so ashamed.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and like that makes sense. So you've married this guy,

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Speaker 1: will we on a honeymoon?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 1: What did we do? What do you do after a

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Speaker 1: two hundred thousand dollar wedding?

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Speaker 4: Didn't do a honeymoon? At that point, I think we

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Speaker 4: had just built a house in a very I guess

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Speaker 4: you would say blue chip area, and then so we

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Speaker 4: moved into that and we hadn't even been in that

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Speaker 4: for a few weeks when said person came home and said,

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Speaker 4: I've sold the house and all the furniture in it,

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Speaker 4: so you need to move out. So like this house

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Speaker 4: I would physically built was then sold. Like I didn't

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Speaker 4: have any decisions. I was not involved in one decision

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Speaker 4: to do with money in our relationship.

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Speaker 1: Never once was there any conversation about why he'd sold

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Speaker 1: the house. And all your furniture.

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Speaker 4: No, no, so there's just so much murkiness. So he

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Speaker 4: I know. So then next minute we moved out of that, and.

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Speaker 1: That would have actually spiraled me because like I would

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Speaker 1: have felt so insecure and so untrusted and so like,

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Speaker 1: you know, my feelings aren't being considered. But I'm assuming

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Speaker 1: after having that for a few years, you don't even

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Speaker 1: feel like you can vocalize that, and you probably haven't

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Speaker 1: even thought, oh, I'm being disrespected here. You're just like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm so dumb, Like why don't I

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Speaker 1: understand this? So what did you do? Where did you move?

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Speaker 4: I was crippled with shame over it, and I've faked

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Speaker 4: it to everybody.

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Speaker 1: You were like, yeah, we're moving, yay.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I was driving this luxury car and you know.

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Speaker 4: But the ironic thing was he would work away a lot.

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Speaker 4: So when he worked away, I'd be like scrambling trying

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Speaker 4: to live off forty dollars a day, and then when

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Speaker 4: he'd come home, we'd be at the best restaurants and

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Speaker 4: buying the most expensive wine like that. I had like

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Speaker 4: two lives.

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Speaker 1: The idea that this man didn't even just give you

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Speaker 1: a credit card, like.

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Speaker 4: What I had no credit card. No, no, I had

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Speaker 4: a card that had his name on it that I

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Speaker 4: would have to ask on a daily basis to top up.

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Speaker 4: And I'd be like, get one hundred dollars or fifty

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Speaker 4: dollars or whatever. So yeah, I'd be at the pedro

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Speaker 4: station not knowing whether I could put money in my

365
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Speaker 4: car because it would bounce and I'd have to call

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Speaker 4: and say, can you put money on the car? Like

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Speaker 4: it was horrible.

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Speaker 1: It's financial control. Like that is domestic Yeah, violence, Like

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Speaker 1: at the end of the day, that is abuse. Was

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Speaker 1: that his intention? Like obviously, like you know, I'm not

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Speaker 1: trying to see the good in this because like you

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Speaker 1: and I both know exactly what this is. This is

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Speaker 1: domestic violence. But do you think at the time he thought, right,

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Speaker 1: we're like on a strict budget, this is what we're doing.

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Speaker 1: Or was it coercive control?

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Speaker 4: It was coercive control because I was never allowed to

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Speaker 4: bring it up or have a conversation about it. So

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Speaker 4: I think if there was a conversation where he went,

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Speaker 4: you know what we're actually you know, we're in the

380
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Speaker 4: shit here. I've over committed with this job and this

381
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,119
Speaker 4: and rah rah, and can we try and live off.

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00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, like we're a couple, we're in this together.

383
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:10,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, can we do XYZ this next couple of months

384
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Speaker 4: and blah blah blah. But it was so like his

385
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:17,000
Speaker 4: lifestyle versus my lifestyle were wildly different. You know, sometimes

386
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Speaker 4: I think, why didn't I just go and get a job.

387
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:21,880
Speaker 4: But there were times when I had a job opportunity,

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Speaker 4: and you know, but he want me to work because.

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Speaker 1: Then you get your power back, and we don't want that.

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Speaker 4: If I wasn't working, then I was flexible to fit

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Speaker 4: in with his kind of chaotic lifestyle. As soon as

392
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:36,159
Speaker 4: I was grounded into a place of work, then it

393
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:38,440
Speaker 4: was never going to suit that situation.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

395
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Speaker 4: Yeah, So but the wheels were falling off for me mentally,

396
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Speaker 4: and my friends and family were picking up on a

397
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:48,199
Speaker 4: little bit quite a lot. Yeah, so there was some

398
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,920
Speaker 4: icing on the cake. We had a trade e vandalizer

399
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:54,520
Speaker 4: house because he didn't get paid. I had people ringing

400
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Speaker 4: me for the money that was owed when we were

401
00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:01,639
Speaker 4: like having a luxury holiday. You know, I had people

402
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:04,679
Speaker 4: pull me up on the street saying that, you know,

403
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:08,760
Speaker 4: all these business things that were supposedly happening weren't actually

404
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,760
Speaker 4: real and they were asking me about it, and I

405
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,200
Speaker 4: was going, oh my god, this is that's not even true.

406
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Speaker 1: So I knew that, and like you're here going I

407
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,920
Speaker 1: probably should be backing my husband, but what the heck

408
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:21,760
Speaker 1: is going on? Like and you're probably starting to question him,

409
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,439
Speaker 1: but then not feeling like you can question him like

410
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,879
Speaker 1: that would have been an awful position to be and

411
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Speaker 1: I'm so sorry.

412
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:32,960
Speaker 4: Yeah it was pretty bad. And then yeah, so I

413
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:36,600
Speaker 4: decided after I saw a bunch of emails that on

414
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,919
Speaker 4: you know, a job he was doing that he was,

415
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,320
Speaker 4: you know, blatantly lying, and thought, oh, I have to go.

416
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Speaker 4: This person won't have a conversation with me and won't

417
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Speaker 4: is actually actively deceiving people.

418
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Speaker 1: Then it's giving Hamish McLaren like that guy who was

419
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Speaker 1: a scammer who pretended to be really rich and was

420
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Speaker 1: like borrowing from Paul to give to Bob, Like yeah,

421
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:01,720
Speaker 1: that's it moving money, Yeah, moving money around, spending some

422
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,240
Speaker 1: of it along the way, hoping people don't follow up,

423
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:07,159
Speaker 1: like it just it's a whole scene like can be

424
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Speaker 1: really you know, if someone says, oh, I don't forget

425
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,720
Speaker 1: your own fifty dollars, you go, oh yeah, oh, I'll

426
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:16,200
Speaker 1: just translate right now. But he could sustain those phone

427
00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:19,080
Speaker 1: calls and messages and emails, for god, not until the

428
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Speaker 1: person just can't be bothered anymore. That's what I saw

429
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 1: happening as well. So yeah, so I thought I have

430
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Speaker 1: to go. We had another property and it was just

431
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,240
Speaker 1: I had no control over any of it. So in

432
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Speaker 1: the end, I was like, I can't believe what I've

433
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:34,280
Speaker 1: done here in getting into this situation. So I left,

434
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:38,000
Speaker 1: and my friends paid for my flight and my transport

435
00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:41,679
Speaker 1: for a few goods down to another state. So I

436
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,600
Speaker 1: came back to my mum's place, like winding back a

437
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:48,800
Speaker 1: hot second, Like you had a baby during this, you

438
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:52,040
Speaker 1: had a six month old, and I'm assuming like for me,

439
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:53,959
Speaker 1: I'm a mom, I'm a new mum, like I have

440
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,159
Speaker 1: a one year old. Down I feel like you just

441
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:59,040
Speaker 1: start taking life a lot more seriously because you're like,

442
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:01,639
Speaker 1: they're reliant on me, and I'm assuming that was the

443
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:04,000
Speaker 1: push come to shove am I correct.

444
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:08,000
Speaker 4: That's exactly. I had a little girl. I remember holding

445
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:12,720
Speaker 4: her and thinking, oh my god, I cannot let her

446
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,920
Speaker 4: have this as her front row seats to a relationship.

447
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 2: No.

448
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then someone said to me, now is your

449
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:23,359
Speaker 4: time because you have just given birth, You've had a

450
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:26,439
Speaker 4: really great birth, and you are in your power woman.

451
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that you got that.

452
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:31,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, so now is your time.

453
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:34,440
Speaker 1: And I was like, you are so right, let's go.

454
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,720
Speaker 4: I remember my maternal health nurse even told me.

455
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,760
Speaker 1: To And at that point, you're like, oh, this is

456
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,960
Speaker 1: pretty serious. The maternal health nurse is telling you to leave.

457
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,560
Speaker 4: She actually said, I'm not allowed to say this, this

458
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:51,320
Speaker 4: is against my job description, but she said, but you

459
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:52,000
Speaker 4: need to leave.

460
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:53,080
Speaker 2: Yeah.

461
00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 1: What an angel though, because she wasn't meant to say that,

462
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:59,119
Speaker 1: but she knew what was in your best interests. Yeah.

463
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, she said, nothing's going to change, you need to leave.

464
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,679
Speaker 4: So I got up and I left, and yeah, and

465
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:08,439
Speaker 4: I went to my mom's and it was pretty awful.

466
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 4: I'm not going to lie.

467
00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:11,480
Speaker 1: So you had to make a plan because you said

468
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:14,360
Speaker 1: one day he was away for work, and so did

469
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,600
Speaker 1: you like plan in the back of your mind or

470
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,640
Speaker 1: with your friends? Go all right, well he's going away

471
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 1: for work on this date and on that date, I'm

472
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:23,119
Speaker 1: going to x y Z.

473
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:26,400
Speaker 4: He always went away for work, so I knew. Yeah,

474
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,919
Speaker 4: so this is really horrible. It's actually a really horrible story.

475
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,440
Speaker 4: So I started packing like a box at a time

476
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 4: and just putting it in a cupboard. And yeah, I

477
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,880
Speaker 4: started like going through on my stuff and thinking about

478
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,480
Speaker 4: what I needed. And my friend paid for my flight.

479
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,159
Speaker 4: That's right, she booked it. And then yeah, I had

480
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:44,879
Speaker 4: another friend who lived close by who came and got

481
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:46,919
Speaker 4: me on the day and I couldn't even have a

482
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:50,639
Speaker 4: normal conversation with him. So yeah, so I left and

483
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:52,320
Speaker 4: I went to my mom's and that's when I said

484
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 4: I'm not coming back. He was really really angry, and

485
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:59,480
Speaker 4: I didn't realize it at the time because I didn't

486
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 4: really think far ahead enough other than I don't have

487
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,359
Speaker 4: any money, I have nowhere to go. I have to

488
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 4: go to my mom's place. Like what else do you do?

489
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:05,080
Speaker 2: You?

490
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:08,640
Speaker 4: I've got a baby. And I remember, like I think

491
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,359
Speaker 4: now that was the best decision I ever made, even

492
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 4: though I didn't know, I didn't foresee it as being

493
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 4: the best decision, if that makes sense, like putting that

494
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 4: distance there.

495
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent, And like, I absolutely think you

496
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,680
Speaker 1: did the right thing. But that is such a hard

497
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 1: decision to make to back up your life and just leave. Like,

498
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:27,800
Speaker 1: don't get me wrong, You're right. You couldn't have spoken

499
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:31,920
Speaker 1: to him, But like, you took the power away from

500
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 1: a narcissist, and when you do that, you don't know

501
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 1: how they're going to react. And yes, he would have

502
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 1: been very angry, but who knows what he would have

503
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 1: been like in person.

504
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 4: Oh, the behavior afterwards was much worse. I'm going to

505
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 4: say for years.

506
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:47,399
Speaker 1: Wow.

507
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, So I stayed with my mom and yeah,

508
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:52,840
Speaker 4: I had this baby. She was really good, you know,

509
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:54,119
Speaker 4: I didn't have to work for a little bit. And

510
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:55,960
Speaker 4: after a six months or so, I started doing some

511
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:59,160
Speaker 4: part time work with a friend who just started this business,

512
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 4: and she come on, she took me under a wing,

513
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:02,440
Speaker 4: and that was really is.

514
00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 1: It sounds like you're surrounded by so many beautiful people,

515
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:10,520
Speaker 1: and in these situations, like the person who you're in

516
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 1: a relationship often creates space between you and the people

517
00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:17,520
Speaker 1: that you love, so that you don't have anybody to

518
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 1: reach out to, so that you do feel ashamed and

519
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 1: you don't want to share your journey. And I'm just

520
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 1: so grateful that you still had those people around, like

521
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,160
Speaker 1: the fact that you had friends that were like, no money, diarist,

522
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 1: we're going to pay for your flights, We're going to

523
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 1: get you back to your mums. Like some people in

524
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:34,199
Speaker 1: these situations just they don't have anybody who's able to

525
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,359
Speaker 1: back them anymore because they've burnt those bridges because the

526
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:41,120
Speaker 1: person they were with purposefully did that to them, like insane.

527
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, so I was interstate from all my people,

528
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 4: so it's only because I've remained in contact with them.

529
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:50,920
Speaker 4: But I will say that that's I did have family

530
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 4: members and relationships that got burnt because of that exact thing.

531
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,960
Speaker 4: So yeah, that was really awful. I've over the years

532
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 4: had to go back to those family members and rebuild

533
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:05,160
Speaker 4: those relationships and so that was pretty awful. But yeah,

534
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 4: so after about a year, so I still had no

535
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:10,639
Speaker 4: excess to money, right because there was no like have

536
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:12,119
Speaker 4: a maritual account or anything.

537
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 1: Absolutely, and you didn't keep the car. You just put

538
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:18,440
Speaker 1: your Porsche keys on the coffee table and walked out, like, yeah,

539
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:20,359
Speaker 1: was that because the car was in his name?

540
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, everything I didn't know. I wouldn't have even known

541
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,359
Speaker 4: how that was paid for, So I wasn't going to

542
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,680
Speaker 4: take that down. That was just ridiculous, driving one hundred

543
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:31,280
Speaker 4: thousand dollar car without any money in my bank account.

544
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 4: That was humiliating. So my best friend's husband shout out

545
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:38,640
Speaker 4: gave me ten thousand dollars to buy a car.

546
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,400
Speaker 1: I just love how much support you're surrounded by.

547
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:43,360
Speaker 4: Yeah.

548
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's like, sorry, my wife set you up

549
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 1: with that guy, Sorry about it.

550
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:55,560
Speaker 4: Yeah. So then I filed for court because after I

551
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 4: was picking myself up and I got the strength to go,

552
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 4: all right, I actually need to go to court. I

553
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 4: need to get some kind of financial settlement here. Otherwise

554
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:04,520
Speaker 4: I'm going to leave at my mum's until one hundred.

555
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 4: So I filed for court. And also he had promised

556
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 4: me that we didn't need to go to court, that

557
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 4: he was going to give me x amount when he

558
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,880
Speaker 4: sold our development thing. And of course that date came

559
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:18,679
Speaker 4: and went and he didn't give me the money. And

560
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 4: so that's when I filed for court. And I went

561
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:25,080
Speaker 4: to court and it was awful and I didn't get

562
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:28,600
Speaker 4: one dollar and I got a forty thousand dollars legal

563
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,880
Speaker 4: bill just to like put the icing on the cake.

564
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 1: Excuse me, Okay, sorry, I have to be pervy. How

565
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 1: do you go through all of that and not get

566
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:37,639
Speaker 1: a dollar? What did this man say or do to

567
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:38,879
Speaker 1: get out of all of this?

568
00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:42,720
Speaker 4: So in the court, process. You do parenting stuff as

569
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,920
Speaker 4: one thing, completely isolated, and then you do your financials

570
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,960
Speaker 4: in one thing. And remember you got to pay to

571
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,119
Speaker 4: have a lawyer, right, and I didn't have the money

572
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 4: to pay for a lawyer. So I did find a

573
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,560
Speaker 4: lawyer who was happy to do some kind of pro

574
00:27:54,640 --> 00:28:00,800
Speaker 4: bono stuff, and then she had so much trouble getting

575
00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:01,680
Speaker 4: him to.

576
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 1: Oh, you wouldn't have been able to get financials out

577
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 1: of him.

578
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:09,159
Speaker 4: Absolutely, he wouldn't provide any financials. So she ended up

579
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,200
Speaker 4: advising me to just put whatever resources I had into

580
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 4: getting the parenting arrangement that I wanted because there was

581
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,040
Speaker 4: a note she said he'd buy by the chop off

582
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 4: his penis and give you any money, and he will,

583
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,399
Speaker 4: So she said, you know, let's just go for the

584
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:25,800
Speaker 4: parenting stuff and then if we get some financials, let's

585
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 4: try so anyway, so I remember, like one day, when

586
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 4: we're doing the financials, we had to go to court.

587
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:32,680
Speaker 4: He had to have a barrister. It was five thousand

588
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 4: dollars a day for a barrister. And I got there

589
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:37,199
Speaker 4: and we were in there for thirty seconds and he

590
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,040
Speaker 4: didn't bring any of the documents that he was meant

591
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,120
Speaker 4: to bring on the court that day as far as financials.

592
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:43,520
Speaker 4: So it got sent out of court for the day

593
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 4: and it got further date down the track and I

594
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 4: had to pay five thousand dollars that day.

595
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 1: How the hell is that not a fee that he

596
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 1: then has to pay for wasting everybody's time. This is

597
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 1: insane to me. Like I understand the process, I really do,

598
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 1: but like you're gonna waste their time, you have to pay,

599
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 1: Like in surely that's the thing.

600
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 4: Yeah. So then at the end we're in this like

601
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:08,480
Speaker 4: big room with the court person and myself and him

602
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 4: and both our barristers, and you know what, I never

603
00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:14,040
Speaker 4: got addressed on that day to do with financials. No

604
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,440
Speaker 4: one ever asked me a question or no one asked

605
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 4: me what I want. And at the end of the

606
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 4: court register, who was supposed to be like facilitating this

607
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:23,080
Speaker 4: whole financial thing, she just said, do you know what,

608
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 4: none of this makes any sense. We've been here all

609
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,120
Speaker 4: day and I still don't understand your financial position. Why

610
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 4: don't you just make your wife an offer and then

611
00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 4: we can all just move on and get out of

612
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 4: the day. And so they went off in their room

613
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 4: and they came back and they said the office is

614
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 4: you row and my barrister who was so annoying on

615
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:43,640
Speaker 4: the day, he just was so weak. I didn't know him.

616
00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:45,720
Speaker 4: He was not the person that I had the first

617
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:47,200
Speaker 4: time when I wanted the person that I had the

618
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 4: first time, because she was a ball breaker anyway, So

619
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,120
Speaker 4: that's why I signed off on it. When he left,

620
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:55,520
Speaker 4: the court register said she get darling, don't worry. You'll

621
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 4: build yourself back up and you've won. You've got your kid.

622
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,600
Speaker 1: You got out of there, okay, icon, Like you deserved

623
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 1: so much more than that, And like, you know what,

624
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:06,760
Speaker 1: that man probably didn't even have any money because the

625
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 1: money that he's like shuffling through is other people's. But

626
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:13,000
Speaker 1: like the fact that that money would have gone to

627
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 1: raising your daughter as well, be so for real, Like,

628
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 1: I get so frustrated about these situations because you've been

629
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 1: taken advantage of, and even once you leave, you're still

630
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 1: being taken advantage of.

631
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:28,600
Speaker 4: I know, and that time, like where you're committed to

632
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 4: helping them and their business ventures, you're not earning super

633
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:36,200
Speaker 4: you know, your career is not going anywhere. They're building.

634
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 4: So even if he didn't have like massive cash flow

635
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 4: at that time, he saw businesses on the go. He

636
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:44,480
Speaker 4: still had, you know, all the things happening in place,

637
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:47,800
Speaker 4: and he was able to sell the property before core

638
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:50,080
Speaker 4: and do whatever he wanted with the money. I didn't

639
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:52,040
Speaker 4: get that privilege of going, oh cool, I'll get half

640
00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:53,520
Speaker 4: of that so I can put that into it.

641
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 1: And he shouldn't have even been doing that, Like, yeah,

642
00:30:56,600 --> 00:31:00,160
Speaker 1: oh my goodness, I am so sorry. So to talk

643
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 1: to me about today. Let's fast forward. You have a

644
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 1: beautiful doors, you are on track to getting financially in front,

645
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,959
Speaker 1: and like you're here to tell the story, which is

646
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 1: honestly so good. What does life look like today?

647
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 4: So the good news is I managed to buy myself

648
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 4: another place.

649
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,360
Speaker 1: You managed to buy yourself a house after all of

650
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:23,800
Speaker 1: that and icon.

651
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:26,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, so thanks to the government, they brought out this

652
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 4: single parent scheme for women or men wanting to get

653
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:35,600
Speaker 4: back into the housing market. And so through that scheme,

654
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 4: I fit the criteria perfectly. And I have a friend

655
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:39,800
Speaker 4: who is a mortage broker and he's like, you've got

656
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:41,320
Speaker 4: to get this. You have to go for this. You're

657
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:43,600
Speaker 4: perfect for this scheme, and so I did and I

658
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 4: got a place. So that was good because I honestly

659
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:50,360
Speaker 4: thought I'm never going to be homeowner again ever, so

660
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 4: that's still a scheme that's available.

661
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:56,160
Speaker 1: It is. We get people into that often, like it

662
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 1: is actually so cool. It's yeah, I'm probably going to

663
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 1: do a whole episode on that at some point. But

664
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 1: like this idea that you can get in for a

665
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:09,760
Speaker 1: two percent deposit, no, LM, I like, it's actually so sexy.

666
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:12,720
Speaker 4: It's so helpful. So that's good. And I've yeah, I've

667
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 4: just become quite obsessed with money stuff now and my

668
00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 4: like looking into the family history of my money journey

669
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 4: and what I need to, like, you know, improve and

670
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:24,880
Speaker 4: face and all that kind of stuff. So I've started

671
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:27,240
Speaker 4: investing as well, think in the last couple of years.

672
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,200
Speaker 4: So I've got money that goes into ETFs or EFTs

673
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 4: always get that around the wrong way. Yeah, yeah, ETFs,

674
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 4: And then in the rays I've got raise and then

675
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 4: I've also got I heard another lady who talks about

676
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:41,160
Speaker 4: money use this term. Maybe it was you, I'm not sure,

677
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:43,880
Speaker 4: but she's calls it spicy investments. No, I like that. Yeah,

678
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 4: a couple of spicies that are just companies that I

679
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 4: share the value with, and they were, you know, doing

680
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 4: crowdfunding for equity and stuff like that. So I went

681
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:54,120
Speaker 4: in with a couple of those, which was exciting.

682
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 1: No, I love that. So let's jump forward. Obviously I

683
00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 1: usually ask a million structured question, So now we're going

684
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:02,960
Speaker 1: to like backtrack and I'm going to answer those because

685
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:06,240
Speaker 1: We've got a beautiful segment of your story. But I wondered,

686
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:07,880
Speaker 1: what are you doing today? What do you do for work?

687
00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:09,280
Speaker 1: How much money do you earn? Now?

688
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 4: Okay, so I'm in the health industry or health space

689
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 4: and I'm on around one hundred.

690
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:17,320
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, I love this.

691
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:20,600
Speaker 4: I was going to say, but that also includes some

692
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:24,360
Speaker 4: single parenting family tax stuff from the government and you

693
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:25,200
Speaker 4: know that kind of thing.

694
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:26,160
Speaker 1: So good.

695
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, so that's worked out quite well.

696
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:32,240
Speaker 1: So you've bought a house, which is so iconic after

697
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 1: going through this, you have a daughter. Talk to me,

698
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:37,120
Speaker 1: what are your big money goals? Now? You said that

699
00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 1: you are getting back in front financially. What are we

700
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:40,880
Speaker 1: working towards?

701
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 4: So I want to get my second property this year,

702
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:48,160
Speaker 4: and just being a single parent, it is obviously hard

703
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:51,120
Speaker 4: to get the loan over the line, you know, with

704
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,480
Speaker 4: the banks and stuff like that, and I really felt

705
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:55,400
Speaker 4: the pinch of that the last couple of years being

706
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,520
Speaker 4: on your own and not having that jewel income to

707
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,560
Speaker 4: kind of go off and do projects and stuff. So

708
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:03,120
Speaker 4: I've got a really good friend who is in a

709
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:07,440
Speaker 4: similar situation, and we've decided to do something together, and

710
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 4: so I'm looking forward to that, and I feel like

711
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:12,359
Speaker 4: I would love, you know, if more single moms got

712
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,839
Speaker 4: together and did stuff together, it would definitely help their

713
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:15,880
Speaker 4: financial security.

714
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:19,520
Speaker 1: Then that's so cool. I love that. I haven't heard

715
00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:22,000
Speaker 1: of that. I've heard of friends just doing it together.

716
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:26,359
Speaker 1: I've heard of, you know, siblings buying together, but like going, Na,

717
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:28,840
Speaker 1: we're single moms. We're going to do this together, Adore,

718
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:30,000
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed with you.

719
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,880
Speaker 4: How good? Yeah, So we're on the fair start of

720
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,280
Speaker 4: the conversation and we've got a bit of an arrangement

721
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:37,920
Speaker 4: in place. We just are now getting I guess those

722
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:40,200
Speaker 4: pieces of puzzle together so we can actually go into

723
00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 4: the day and go, okay, this is what we're doing.

724
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:42,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, how good?

725
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:43,480
Speaker 4: I love this.

726
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 1: All right, let's go to a really quick break because

727
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 1: on the flip side, I have a few more questions

728
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 1: for you. All right, money, darised, we are back you

729
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 1: mentioned before. I'm investing. I've got some ETFs, I've got

730
00:34:57,200 --> 00:35:00,279
Speaker 1: some rays. How did you start that journey? Is that

731
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:03,239
Speaker 1: part of your financial literacy journey? Was that something where

732
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 1: you're like, I just need to be growing wealth? Like,

733
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 1: how did you get into it?

734
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:10,399
Speaker 4: Yeah? I guess from I think you know, first comes

735
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,960
Speaker 4: to fear of going, oh my god, what am I

736
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 4: going to do? You know, how am I going to

737
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:17,719
Speaker 4: get myself out of this? To how do I recuperate

738
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 4: what I've lost in all the things? And how am

739
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:22,719
Speaker 4: I going to have financial security in the future. So

740
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 4: I knew I wasn't investing, I didn't know how, I

741
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 4: didn't know what you did with I was just so

742
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:29,239
Speaker 4: overwhelming for me. So I just started learning about it

743
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:33,120
Speaker 4: and yeah, following podcasts like yours and Instagram page like

744
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:35,640
Speaker 4: yours and a few others that were kind of giving tips,

745
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 4: and that built my confidence to I did a couple

746
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:41,400
Speaker 4: of free webinars on investing, and that exposed me to

747
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:44,480
Speaker 4: those things like raise and shares these I think it is. Yeah,

748
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:47,120
Speaker 4: so that was how I built my confidence up to

749
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:50,880
Speaker 4: start doing that. And yes, so kind of just learning,

750
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:53,879
Speaker 4: just learning, And I think the other thing that I've

751
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:56,840
Speaker 4: done is my bad money habit, which I don't know

752
00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:58,440
Speaker 4: if you were going to ask me about that, but

753
00:35:58,560 --> 00:35:59,280
Speaker 4: I will after.

754
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:00,799
Speaker 1: But you can boil it now.

755
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 4: Oh So my bad money habit which I wanted to

756
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:07,120
Speaker 4: get over was that I can be avoidant about it.

757
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:09,440
Speaker 4: So if I'm feeling overwhelmed, then I just go into

758
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:12,719
Speaker 4: complete avoidance. So I won't look at superannuation details, or

759
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:14,840
Speaker 4: I won't look at if it's performing, or I won't

760
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,399
Speaker 4: check my bank account that week because I'm worried I've

761
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:20,320
Speaker 4: spent too much money on the weekend. So that's my

762
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 4: bad money habit. But on the flip side of that,

763
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:27,080
Speaker 4: I've kind of created my own little workbook that I

764
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:31,880
Speaker 4: do to overcome that, and that was all about financial

765
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 4: literacy and daily habits so that I can come out

766
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 4: of that avoidance. So I'm forcing myself to check things

767
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 4: every day and forcing myself to learn one thing knew

768
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:42,840
Speaker 4: every day about money that I didn't know yesterday. That

769
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:43,399
Speaker 4: kind of thing.

770
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I adore that. So talk to me about debt.

771
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:49,839
Speaker 1: You've obviously got a little bit of it, but it's

772
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 1: good debt because you have a mortgage and you're actually

773
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,640
Speaker 1: planning on going into more. How much debt are you

774
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:57,200
Speaker 1: in what does that look like and how does that

775
00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:57,800
Speaker 1: make you feel?

776
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:00,760
Speaker 4: I think the debt for the mortgages got bigger purpose,

777
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 4: so I'm not that doesn't concern me at all. I

778
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:05,719
Speaker 4: don't really have any other debt which is good, other

779
00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:07,279
Speaker 4: than my hex which is one of.

780
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:10,600
Speaker 1: Those you know ones that just linger. Mmm.

781
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 4: So that's around thirty five, and I've got about two

782
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 4: thousand in credit card. But I don't have any other

783
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:19,759
Speaker 4: debt and that's a good thing.

784
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, I love that for you. So back to

785
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:27,680
Speaker 1: best and worst money habits. You've obviously gone literally through

786
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:30,440
Speaker 1: it all. We've gone from literally having your house burned

787
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:33,160
Speaker 1: down when you were in grade four to super yacht

788
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:37,359
Speaker 1: family rich, back to being a single mum and having

789
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:39,879
Speaker 1: to borrow money from people and get people to buy

790
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 1: your flight like you've been through the ringer. Do you

791
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:45,719
Speaker 1: have any good money habits that you've established along the way,

792
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:48,600
Speaker 1: like I feel like you would have to. You mentioned

793
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:51,080
Speaker 1: a couple of things before, but I want to know

794
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:52,160
Speaker 1: what else have we got.

795
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:54,320
Speaker 4: I think you know what I've thought about this question,

796
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:57,760
Speaker 4: and I think the main one, because it feelter to everything,

797
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:01,480
Speaker 4: is that now I'm talking about money a lot, and

798
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:03,960
Speaker 4: I've got my key friends that I talked to about

799
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,600
Speaker 4: money a lot. And it's not in a comparison way

800
00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:09,680
Speaker 4: or a snoopy way or anything like that. It's more

801
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,520
Speaker 4: I want to know what other people are doing, what

802
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:15,200
Speaker 4: salary they're on. I want to know what the benchmarks

803
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:16,759
Speaker 4: are here. I want to know what everyone else is.

804
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 1: Doing, so doing? How are you doing it? Like? Can

805
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 1: I grow from this?

806
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 4: So having the conversations and with my friends and family now,

807
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:26,799
Speaker 4: which I never if you know, what if I had

808
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 4: have had those back all those years ago, you know,

809
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,400
Speaker 4: I might not have got into that situation because I

810
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:33,799
Speaker 4: would have been able to speak about it.

811
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:34,080
Speaker 5: You know.

812
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:36,160
Speaker 4: But when you grow up being told, you know, don't

813
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:38,279
Speaker 4: bring up money, that's very rude. You don't ask people

814
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 4: what they own, that's very rude. And you know, obviously

815
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 4: pick you don't just ask any random person what they earn.

816
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 1: I do I actually do. Yeah, I've done it for

817
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:49,080
Speaker 1: years now. No one's corrected me, like, no one's actually

818
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,280
Speaker 1: stopped me. So far, so good.

819
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:54,920
Speaker 4: I found out that a colleague was on almost triple

820
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,960
Speaker 4: the amount, excuse me, Yeah, and it was only because

821
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 4: in her induction they actually made an there are and

822
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:03,120
Speaker 4: so But then they had to, like, you know, live

823
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:05,479
Speaker 4: by it and pay her that. But that was so

824
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:07,480
Speaker 4: integral to understanding what.

825
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:08,400
Speaker 1: Was an option?

826
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, what was out there? And so I think, you know,

827
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 4: we always think we can't talk about it, but how.

828
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:16,759
Speaker 1: How are we going to learn from each other? How

829
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:18,440
Speaker 1: do we lift each other up if we can't talk

830
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:20,879
Speaker 1: about where we're beginning from, Like, it makes no sense

831
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 1: to me, Like my success doesn't dim your ability to

832
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:28,680
Speaker 1: be successful, Like my success actually helps you and gives

833
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:32,560
Speaker 1: you a pathway to what you could do. Like I

834
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:34,239
Speaker 1: want you to have that. I want you to have

835
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:37,080
Speaker 1: every ounce of that, because if you aren't going to

836
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 1: back yourself, who is, Like you need to have every

837
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 1: tool to put yourself in the best possible position. And

838
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:45,279
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you the tools. Like I've been

839
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 1: in oodles of debt. I also now am in a

840
00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:51,600
Speaker 1: way better financial position. But both of those things people

841
00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:53,360
Speaker 1: can learn from. Why wouldn't I share that?

842
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:56,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly exactly. And you know where there's secrets so

843
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 4: to speak, that's where there's there can be predators or

844
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,360
Speaker 4: where they'res can be you know, things that aren't quite right,

845
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 4: whereas you shit put the light on things, and yeah,

846
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:05,920
Speaker 4: it's more expensive.

847
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 1: I guess, my goodness, So talk to me now. Worst

848
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:12,760
Speaker 1: money habit is it just burying your head in the sand,

849
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 1: like you were saying before, You just hide from things

850
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:18,600
Speaker 1: that aren't maybe lighting you up or making you feel

851
00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:19,680
Speaker 1: a little bit overwhelmed.

852
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,960
Speaker 4: Yes, I guess the avoidance stuff. So if I went

853
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 4: away for the weekend and maybe I think I spent

854
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:26,840
Speaker 4: too much money, then I won't check my bank account

855
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:28,919
Speaker 4: for that week, or you know, just I get it though,

856
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:32,000
Speaker 4: stupid stuff like that. I'm very aware of it. So

857
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:34,960
Speaker 4: I've tried to face that through you know, doing daily

858
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:38,200
Speaker 4: practice of checking accounts and checking superannuation. Where's that sitting?

859
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:41,319
Speaker 4: Where's my race sitting? All that? But the other bad

860
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:45,000
Speaker 4: habit I think is probably, I guess with everything that's happened,

861
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:48,719
Speaker 4: is to blame myself or feel bad about it, or

862
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 4: if you know, to continue like punish myself over it

863
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:53,960
Speaker 4: when actually that's not helping me. I have to keep

864
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:57,760
Speaker 4: looking forward. So yeah, any negative self talk is probably

865
00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 4: a bad habit and something that I'm continuously having to shake.

866
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:04,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm glad that you're aware of it, because

867
00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:06,359
Speaker 1: if you're aware of it, you can work on it.

868
00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 1: Like that's a good position to be in. At the

869
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:12,799
Speaker 1: start of this episode, you said, i'ms and you've gone

870
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:15,760
Speaker 1: on to tell me one of the most powerful money stories,

871
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 1: a story not about like dis growth. But you've been

872
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:23,520
Speaker 1: through it. You've come up, you've come down, you've come back,

873
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 1: you've taken your power back, you've bought a house, you're

874
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:28,839
Speaker 1: looking at a second house. You don't have your head

875
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:31,479
Speaker 1: in this end. This has not destroyed you. In fact,

876
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 1: it's probably made you stronger. You are so intelligent, so articulate,

877
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:39,120
Speaker 1: like I am at this point being like I hope

878
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:41,399
Speaker 1: our paths cross in person because I want to meet you,

879
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:45,959
Speaker 1: But I just I can't see your money story being

880
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 1: graded as a sea Like I just can't see it.

881
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:51,439
Speaker 1: Like and I'm not going to argue with you after

882
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,880
Speaker 1: everything that you've been through, but after hearing all of this,

883
00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:56,279
Speaker 1: after talking to me about this journey you've been on

884
00:41:56,360 --> 00:41:59,200
Speaker 1: and what you've done and what you've fought for, because

885
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:02,880
Speaker 1: not everyone is in a position where they can do that,

886
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:05,239
Speaker 1: but you have, and you've stepped up even that would

887
00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:09,000
Speaker 1: have been really friggin hard. Do you really think that

888
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:12,759
Speaker 1: that's the money story of a c person or like

889
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:15,759
Speaker 1: what would it take for you to go you know,

890
00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 1: when can we sit down and say, I'm an a,

891
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:19,719
Speaker 1: what would that take?

892
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 4: It's true, I think I've still got some confidence to

893
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:25,680
Speaker 4: work on, and I think if I, yeah, have a

894
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:28,880
Speaker 4: few more wins in the next twelve months around confidence

895
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:31,080
Speaker 4: and money and stuff like that, I think that will

896
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:32,319
Speaker 4: take me up a notch or two.

897
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:35,640
Speaker 1: I love that. I'm not gonna agree to your cea,

898
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:39,600
Speaker 1: but I'll let you hide your bloth money, Diris. This

899
00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:42,880
Speaker 1: has been an absolute privilege learning about your money story,

900
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:47,799
Speaker 1: like so pervy, but also so constructive, like just the

901
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 1: idea that this could literally happen to anybody, and like

902
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:53,000
Speaker 1: you do get swept off your feet and like we

903
00:42:53,040 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 1: all love love. I love love, Like I just you know,

904
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:57,759
Speaker 1: I would have been that friend at the side being like,

905
00:42:57,760 --> 00:42:59,840
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm so glad you found your literal.

906
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:02,920
Speaker 1: It's charming, Like I'm just so sorry that you went

907
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:04,960
Speaker 1: through it, but I'm just so grateful that you and

908
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,400
Speaker 1: I get to share this story with our community so

909
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:10,200
Speaker 1: that hopefully people can learn from it and grow from

910
00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:13,320
Speaker 1: it and that it doesn't happen again to other people.

911
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:15,560
Speaker 1: So thank you for that. I just know the community

912
00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 1: is going to have loved listening to you as much

913
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:19,120
Speaker 1: as I've loved interviewing you.

914
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:21,640
Speaker 4: Thank you so much. Victoria, of course.

915
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 1: Did by shared on She's on the Money is general

916
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:33,880
Speaker 1: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's

917
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:37,400
Speaker 1: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should

918
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:40,600
Speaker 1: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.

919
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:43,439
Speaker 1: If you do choose to buy a financial product, read

920
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 1: the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards

921
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:48,160
Speaker 1: your needs.

922
00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 5: Victoria, Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives

923
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:56,400
Speaker 5: of Money showper pty Ltd ABN three two one IS

924
00:43:56,440 --> 00:44:00,280
Speaker 5: six four nine two seven seven zero eight AFSL four

925
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:04,319
Speaker 5: five one two eight nine

926
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:11,880
Speaker 4: Mm hm