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Speaker 1: On the microphone, the microphone, Give me a cake. What happened?

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Speaker 2: No, look, microphone.

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Speaker 3: She wanted to come up on my lap, which I did,

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Speaker 3: and then she was shuffling around the sofa and I

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Speaker 3: thought that smell and I leant across to get her,

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Speaker 3: and I was covered in poo. She was covered in pooh.

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Speaker 3: The sofa was covered in poo, and it was horrible.

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Speaker 3: And I had to put her back in the cage.

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Speaker 3: Killed nowhere else to put it to put her, and

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Speaker 3: then so her bedding in the cage got covered in

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Speaker 3: poo and it was horrible.

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Speaker 2: Have they got a puppy? They got a puppy?

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Speaker 3: Did have a puppy until I strangled its neck.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, joseus were about to start always no

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Speaker 4: animals were hard in the making of this podcast.

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Speaker 1: I can confirm the dog is still alive, I think now.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to This is a podcast all about two.

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Speaker 1: I'm Ash, I'm mad a Jade, and this is a

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Speaker 1: podcast all about parenting. It is good, it is the bad,

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Speaker 1: and we don't give advice. But what we do do

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Speaker 1: do do is give presents?

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Speaker 2: We do we do.

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Speaker 1: Because yeah, one of us is turning thirty four five.

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Speaker 2: I'm so fright, and honestly, I'm shocked that you remember.

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Speaker 2: I am shocked.

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Speaker 1: I have messaged a lot of people. Jess Lovely, producer,

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Speaker 1: has reminded me a few times. April has also reminded me.

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Speaker 1: I have it. I have a birthday alarm that goes

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Speaker 1: off once a week.

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Speaker 2: I had a plan. In case you didn't remember, what

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Speaker 2: was that bo No, there's a there's an episode of

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Speaker 2: the Office where Michael Scott rings up his ex girlfriend.

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Speaker 2: He goes happy Birthday and she says, it's not my birthdays.

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Speaker 2: It's funny. I thought we had the same birthday and

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Speaker 2: she was like, happy birthday.

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Speaker 1: I forgot last year, didn't Yeah?

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Speaker 2: And the year before that, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1: I was like, this year, I will not forget. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to go grab it. I'll be one second, okay,

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Speaker 1: I can close.

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Speaker 2: My eyes off. What am I doing here? I'm going

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Speaker 2: to close my eyes. I'm patiently waiting. We should do

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Speaker 2: some waiting music. He rustling.

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Speaker 1: I have two gifts.

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Speaker 2: Two.

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Speaker 1: I'll give you the bag first.

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Speaker 2: Yes, please? Oh is the bag the gift? Is it?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 2: My god? It's a big brown bag. You can I

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Speaker 2: can't even see you past this bag.

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Speaker 1: You can remove the item from the bag and take

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Speaker 1: a look inside.

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Speaker 2: Oh it's a big bag for a T shirt. Sorry,

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Speaker 2: very nice. It's a gem Pikelets T shirt. I love it.

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Speaker 2: I was actually thinking about this yesterday.

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Speaker 1: I could tell that's thank you. Yeah, I love it. It's

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Speaker 1: at a cartoon version. After you hold it up to

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Speaker 1: the camera and show the good.

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Speaker 2: People, will I show the front and then I'll show

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Speaker 2: the bank.

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Speaker 1: I stole that from your social media. That's the logo

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Speaker 1: for your surfboard.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it is for the phoney. That's we're going to

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Speaker 2: do a giveaway for that too soon. Yes, just keep

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Speaker 2: your ears and eyes peeled for that.

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Speaker 1: I have five of those shirts for you.

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Speaker 2: Five. Oh that's amazing. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: That's gift number one.

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Speaker 2: Wow, I feel so spoiled.

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Speaker 1: Gift number two didn't arrive.

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Speaker 2: You got a picture of it.

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Speaker 1: Well, you know what it's like when a football team loses.

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Speaker 1: They go into hiding. They don't reply to messages. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to be seen by anyone. And I messaged

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Speaker 1: them and I said, you talk about manly team.

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Speaker 2: They didn't respond.

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Speaker 1: They come off the back of it. Any Jan's I

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Speaker 1: can get a happy birthday thrash seeing the reply. Come on, guys,

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Speaker 1: so that one's coming, it'll come.

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Speaker 2: So it's a third.

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Speaker 1: So this is the other gift, which because you have

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Speaker 1: a new house. So this is part birthday party gift,

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Speaker 1: part house woman.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I was gonna love it.

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Speaker 1: I bet she will.

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Speaker 2: Okay, give that's huge, Okay, make sure the camera for

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Speaker 2: I say it. Yeah, I love it. That's so good.

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Speaker 1: Debt for people who obviously you're listening, can't see it

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Speaker 1: is a photo taken from our calendar. We are hosing

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Speaker 1: ourselves down, completely naked except for a couple of boots

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Speaker 1: and buddy smugglers.

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Speaker 2: And the hats on. But yeah, I love that. Come Tan,

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Speaker 2: you're pretty ten. We both look great. I think I

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Speaker 2: was going to love that. I love it. It's going

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Speaker 2: straight in the living room, maybe in the kids room.

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Speaker 1: Please.

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Speaker 2: I love it. Thank you, thank you, thank you very much,

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Speaker 2: thank you, Jess appreciate Happy birthday. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Special mention to Jess who had to pick up that

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Speaker 1: bit of artwork and trouble with it on public.

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Speaker 2: Transform that makes it even better.

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Speaker 1: Jess, I'm so sorry for doing that. I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 2: That is very good.

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Speaker 1: It's a big picture for those of you again, sixty

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Speaker 1: centimeters by like a meet.

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Speaker 2: As a meat alone. Thank you. I feel very feel,

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Speaker 2: very blessed, So thank you very much. I appreciate that.

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Speaker 1: And happy birthday, dude, thank you.

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Speaker 2: Thirty five. Should I reflect? No, just get sad. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: thirty five happened so.

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Speaker 1: Fast, quick blink of an eye. Yeah, one second, we're eighteen.

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Speaker 1: We finished school and then you finished school lot earlier.

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Speaker 2: Fifteen Jesus. Yeah, next thing in the world for a

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Speaker 2: long time, twenty years ago. I left school. That's wild,

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Speaker 2: that's crazy.

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Speaker 1: Did you ever go to a school reunion? Reunion?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: Did you ever go to a school reunion?

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Speaker 2: Be awkward? Because I was expelled for most of them,

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Speaker 2: so he's no, definitely not. But my kid goes to

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Speaker 2: my primary school, so I guess it's kind of like

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Speaker 2: a but thank you, Thank you both.

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Speaker 1: How are you going to celebrate?

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Speaker 2: I'm going to America apparently, Yeah, you're going next week.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to meet Shack without the family.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going to meet Shaquilo new I'm going to work.

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Speaker 1: It's for a job.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's for a job. I'm going to go meet

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Speaker 2: Shaquille O'Neill. I think it turns up right, that's about it.

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Speaker 2: I said, I want to go go karting because I

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Speaker 2: have got an obsession at the moment, which is racing.

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Speaker 1: That's not like you to get a weird obsession.

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Speaker 2: I know, I do. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Before we recorded this, you were listening to Formula one.

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Speaker 1: Is that is that new?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? That's my whole thing. Now that's my whole, my

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Speaker 2: whole personal.

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Speaker 1: What about Pokemon cards, Yeah, still going through.

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Speaker 2: It's not as much at the moment.

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Speaker 1: It's back Pokemon cards two.

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Speaker 2: One is f one. I've got a simulator in the house.

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Speaker 1: I saw you put a bloody message out there. Because

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Speaker 1: anyone have a racing helmet and a full body suit

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Speaker 1: for racing.

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Speaker 2: It's for a skit.

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Speaker 1: Did you get it?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I did, I do. I gotta get it. I

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Speaker 2: got to pick it up from just a friend. She

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Speaker 2: her brother and dad do used to do professional go karting.

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Speaker 2: She's like, I've got some suitswe I'm like sweet, She's

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Speaker 2: like they might stink like.

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Speaker 1: So April's like, fucking hell, we've got a simulator. Your

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Speaker 1: walker around the house in a fucking helmet and bo

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Speaker 1: like full blown racing suit.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, So I think we just do some Gocardi have

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Speaker 2: dinner with the kids in there. I won't see him

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Speaker 2: for a week, and that's present enough.

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Speaker 1: I need to apologize for being late today.

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Speaker 2: Ash Oh yeah, no, sweat that made up for it.

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Speaker 2: Why were you late?

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Speaker 1: We do you have education week at your school?

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Speaker 2: Every week is educational week. Man.

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Speaker 1: I hate to bring it to you, bro, we had.

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Speaker 1: I think it's to coincide with one hundred days of kindy,

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Speaker 1: like open day or something. Well, they invite they invite

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Speaker 1: parents to come and sit in the classroom for forty

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Speaker 1: five minutes.

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Speaker 2: The longest forty five minutes of your life.

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Speaker 1: I bet actually wasn't it was nice.

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Speaker 2: Marley was pumped, Yeah she was.

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Speaker 1: It was the first time ever where I woke up.

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Speaker 1: She was dressed, she'd breakfast, She pretty much had a

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Speaker 1: backpack on, and she was like, hurry the fuck up,

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Speaker 1: we're going to school.

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Speaker 2: You should tell her every day that you go to

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Speaker 2: school with it, so she just starts doing it automatically

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Speaker 2: like Pavlov's dog May.

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Speaker 1: We were at school like eight point thirty. I was

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Speaker 1: fuck and I have to play tip with the kids.

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Speaker 2: Unfair advantage for you, long arms, long legs, pretty quick

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Speaker 2: crossing ground scamper.

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Speaker 1: But it was nice. We just, you know, you sit

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Speaker 1: in the classroom and I wasn't sure how it was

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Speaker 1: going to play out, but essentially, the kids just show

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Speaker 1: you what they've been working on. Grab some coloring in, grab.

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Speaker 2: A book, love that, and it was nice.

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Speaker 1: All the parents were there.

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Speaker 2: However, okay, however, a couple of kids no parents.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, I could have cried.

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Speaker 2: And you're an mpath too, so you would have been like,

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Speaker 2: come here, children, let them pied piper. You got a

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Speaker 2: bunch of kids follow.

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Speaker 1: I'm mate, it's this poor little boy, I know. And

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Speaker 1: he looked he looked like he was going to cry,

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Speaker 1: and I.

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Speaker 2: Was it's sad. I just yeah. It was like saying

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Speaker 2: I went to a school thing really quickly so you

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Speaker 2: can finish the story. And it was like an assembly,

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Speaker 2: and all the parents were there of these particular kids,

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Speaker 2: but one of the dads of the kiding Oscars class

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Speaker 2: he had to take off immediately, like he had to

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Speaker 2: go back to work. So all of the kids came

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Speaker 2: out of assembly to their parents except for this one kid.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, April, I like, come here, buddy,

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Speaker 2: get a photo with Oscar. And like you try, and

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Speaker 2: but the kid was like, how are you doing to

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Speaker 2: get back to work? He's not dead, I know.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, wow, child, you're it's going to

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Speaker 1: be some.

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Speaker 2: One of the most courageous people in the world grow

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Speaker 2: up without parents.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, on Marley was trying to show me a coloring

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Speaker 1: you and all I could do was look at Timmy

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Speaker 1: being like he's so alone right now. There there was

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Speaker 1: one kid, she had a parent. She was like and

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Speaker 1: I was like hey, and she was like, can I

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Speaker 1: show you what love heart? And I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: hurry up.

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Speaker 2: And I couldn't.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't lose her.

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Speaker 2: The girl get rid of her.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm here with Marley.

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Speaker 2: Back back. Marley's like boot it.

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Speaker 1: But then after the classroom little classroom session that was great.

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Speaker 1: After that, we then had assembly. Assembly was all about

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Speaker 1: celebrating education week, essentially just celebrating school and and Marley

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Speaker 1: had put her hand up to say a few words.

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Speaker 2: Now I cast my memory back to when you tried

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Speaker 2: to get her to tell she had to tell a

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Speaker 2: story in front of the class. Yes, So how did

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Speaker 2: it was? This girl?

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Speaker 1: I wasn't sure how it happened, you know, sometimes you

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Speaker 1: don't want to believe your kids. But she was like,

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Speaker 1: I've got I've got something to learn. So she had

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Speaker 1: a little homework folder, a little script, had to learn

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Speaker 1: it off by heart, and I was like, did you

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Speaker 1: get this? Is everyone doing a speech like what's happened?

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Speaker 1: Trying to break down how did this happen?

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Speaker 2: They're so vague too, so no, Yeah, every day and

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Speaker 2: I know the answer I get from Oscar. It's like,

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Speaker 2: what did you do at school today? I's like I

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Speaker 2: can't remember. It's like, okay, well what what? What do

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Speaker 2: you know?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: This education week?

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Speaker 1: I was like, did your teacher ask you? As she

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Speaker 1: goes when I opened my hand up getting blood from

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Speaker 1: a stone?

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Speaker 2: I'm like, what is happening here? What's about? I don't know?

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Speaker 1: You had to learn the speech. I then realized later

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Speaker 1: on that only a couple of kids were saying an

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Speaker 1: intro welcome here we are education week, and Marley was

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Speaker 1: starting that speech. So only only three kids from kids

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Speaker 1: I sound like such a dick when I need three

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Speaker 1: kids were selecting.

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Speaker 5: On that well, only the best and brightness of the

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Speaker 5: children of that particular class were selected, and of course

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Speaker 5: Marley was hand picked, hand picked first by the.

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Speaker 1: Principle to speak in front of all the other parents

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Speaker 1: to represent the kindergarten.

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Speaker 2: So humb too, am I sorry?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, let me apologize that day. I know what I'm

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Speaker 1: doing and I'm sorry, but go on. But I was

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Speaker 1: obviously at the podcast was on, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: what I'm going to do is just quickly do that part,

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Speaker 1: you know, see her to do a speech, and then

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Speaker 1: I'll duck out of there. Okay, So the assembly starts,

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Speaker 1: the band do your song? Two songs? Fucking terrible.

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Speaker 2: Was there like a lot of wind instruments, so there's

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Speaker 2: always a Roague clarinet, someone's on a sax and they

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Speaker 2: don't know how to plan, or someone just goes.

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Speaker 1: I played saxophone, and I used to get so freaked

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Speaker 1: out that I used to just I wouldn't blow in

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Speaker 1: my saxophone.

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Speaker 5: You told me this, Yeah, let the other saxophone.

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Speaker 2: I was perfect, pitch perfect.

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Speaker 1: So two songs. Then the recorder group come out.

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Speaker 2: Another two songs, another annoying instrument.

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Speaker 1: Then the choir comes out. Actually choir, that quite good.

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Speaker 2: That's pretty good. Yeah, quite quantious choiet level. Actually it was.

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Speaker 1: It was a lot better than I thought, and then

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Speaker 1: they have the breakdance troop come out.

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Speaker 2: I was like, how fucking artistic is this school?

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Speaker 1: They were terrible as well, Like the boys looked like

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Speaker 1: they were forced against their will, like pointed at gunpoint,

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Speaker 1: gun point to come out and like try and dance,

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Speaker 1: like they all looked like they were petrified for their life.

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Speaker 1: And it's just no one was off bat There's one

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Speaker 1: kid of a dance who was like obviously the ring

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Speaker 1: leader put the goods at the front, and then and

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Speaker 1: then after that, I was like, surely will come out.

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Speaker 1: She's not even she's like backstage, like back of house

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Speaker 1: hasn't even been on the stage yet. And they have

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Speaker 1: the breakdance they have then the year one to three

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Speaker 1: dance troop, the year three to five dance Troop, the

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Speaker 1: year six.

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Speaker 2: You've got a full of Stedford. Fuck dude. Literally, you

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Speaker 2: go to this Deadford this morning.

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Speaker 1: And I'm looking at my watch going, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I just waiting.

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Speaker 2: I just waiting.

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Speaker 1: Other parents will all be there since nine o'clock. Other

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Speaker 1: parents are like, wrap this up. I thought it was

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Speaker 1: going to be like then finally she came out. She

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Speaker 1: gets handed the microphone, very.

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Speaker 2: Whoops.

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Speaker 1: This is how she sounded hello, education nailed it.

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Speaker 2: Well, she's a good speaker, just like a dad, thank you,

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Speaker 2: thank you, And Nellie a parent tapping on the shoulder

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Speaker 2: and said, she so confident.

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Speaker 1: Isn't she? Well she was hands selected. And then then

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Speaker 1: after that you did, I waved to good bye. And

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Speaker 1: you know, it's like it is amazing as just bear

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Speaker 1: with me for a second. When they when they perform

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Speaker 1: at any level, regardless of whether it's sport, I could

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Speaker 1: at the top level, any co curricular activities, education, when

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Speaker 1: they finish you and you give them a thumbs up

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Speaker 1: and say like, well done, the look on their face like.

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Speaker 2: She was buzzing beaming, someone would say buzzing.

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Speaker 1: Also, I'm just going to play a little bit of

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Speaker 1: their the song that they performed afterwards.

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Speaker 2: That's pretty good, thank you.

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Speaker 1: And then and then here we are.

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Speaker 2: Well eventful morning. They cram it in, don't they. They

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Speaker 2: really get you. I feel like it's a bit like

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Speaker 2: like a bit like a bad salesman. Once they've got

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Speaker 2: your seated, oh yeah, they just ramia with everything, like

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Speaker 2: and then we're going to bring out a bunch of

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Speaker 2: dancing animals.

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Speaker 1: But also every time, like the Recorder group would perform,

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Speaker 1: their parents would then peel off, and then like after

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Speaker 1: each act there was essentially just a couple of KINDI

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Speaker 1: parents left in the audience. So she performed really no one, Oh.

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Speaker 2: But that's all right. She still go up and did it?

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Speaker 1: Did it? Man?

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Speaker 2: And like like whenever you say to Oscar like good job, mate,

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Speaker 2: is usually like there's a boy things like shot such

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Speaker 2: a boy thing. But speaking of Oscar, same age as

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Speaker 2: Marley six. For those of you who knew listening, we

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Speaker 2: have had a really rainy week.

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Speaker 1: It has been her rear.

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Speaker 2: Like well said, I couldn't have said a bout myself.

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Speaker 2: And as you know, I live in a really old

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Speaker 2: house that's prone to damage.

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Speaker 1: I would say, bold water leaks, Oh.

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Speaker 2: There's mold, don't you worry. There's mold, there's leaks. There's

347
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Speaker 2: all sorts of things going on, the roofs falling.

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Speaker 1: Down outside the Arctic Chamber.

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Speaker 2: But I have something I want to show you because Oscar,

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Speaker 2: these kids are getting in their six they want to

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Speaker 2: be helpful, you know, they want to help I want

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Speaker 2: to have a look, I want to do it. I'll

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Speaker 2: do it. I'll do this sort of ship.

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Speaker 1: Well, you got your talking out no, I.

355
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Speaker 2: Didn't didn't have to. We do have a lot of

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Speaker 2: leaks that come in our house when it rains, and

357
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Speaker 2: there's a couple of spots. You'll be able to notice

358
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Speaker 2: the spot that's leaking. But Oscar put his hand up

359
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:06,359
Speaker 2: and said, I'll fix this. I'll save us. Never fear

360
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,440
Speaker 2: Oscar is here exactly.

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Speaker 1: Is that because he's confident in his own ability, or

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Speaker 1: is like, oh, dad, don't fucking no.

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Speaker 2: I think he just wanted to be the man of

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Speaker 2: the house.

365
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Speaker 1: Love that.

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Speaker 2: Good on him, Good on him, And I'm going to

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Speaker 2: show you.

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Speaker 1: You're getting kicked to the curb.

369
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:20,800
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, come home.

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Speaker 1: He's in bed with April.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, sorry, whenever I don't stay there, he does sleep

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Speaker 2: with April. Before you press play, just just describe to

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Speaker 2: what I'm seeing, what you're seeing, what the what the

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Speaker 2: leak looks like to the listeners that wow, I can't see.

375
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Speaker 1: It, Okay, it looks I'm looking here at the ceiling

376
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Speaker 1: just above the living room area, and there is a

377
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Speaker 1: large patch of what looks like I could say black mold.

378
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:55,480
Speaker 2: It's not. It's actually bubbled up from water coming leaking through.

379
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Speaker 2: There's black MOULDI my guy, Well, maybe good thing. I'm moving.

380
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:03,000
Speaker 1: It's very bubbly. It's very It's like what it looks

381
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:07,600
Speaker 1: like is you put paint stripper. It looks like someone's

382
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,560
Speaker 1: applied paint stripper to the ceiling.

383
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:12,760
Speaker 2: And I just put some bind stripper on there, you know.

384
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,600
Speaker 1: You know, as a fellow trade. May I press play?

385
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,840
Speaker 2: You can press play? Because Oscar really wanted to fix,

386
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Speaker 2: like put something down to fix the help with the lea.

387
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:29,480
Speaker 2: It's good if effort was their execution, not so much.

388
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:36,840
Speaker 1: This is the smallest tupper work have seen. It is

389
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Speaker 1: so tiny.

390
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:41,240
Speaker 2: Oh my god, couldn't And do you know what he said,

391
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:45,240
Speaker 2: I'll get it because you've seen me put tupperwats down before,

392
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 2: but bigger ones obviously, And then we hadn't noticed it.

393
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,280
Speaker 2: And then April goes to me, have you seen the

394
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:55,159
Speaker 2: tupperware of data Oscar put down there? It's like literally

395
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Speaker 2: one hundred mili one.

396
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Speaker 1: It's so small. That is absolutely adorable.

397
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:01,199
Speaker 2: We had mt it like four times.

398
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:04,640
Speaker 1: Did you put a big one down?

399
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:08,440
Speaker 2: I don't. I want to redo the kids work. It's

400
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:12,520
Speaker 2: just silly. So yeah, I ask her. He's a man

401
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:12,920
Speaker 2: of the house.

402
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,760
Speaker 1: Now wow, Well I come home and he's at the

403
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:19,240
Speaker 1: bottom of the cart and he's like, new oil, mate,

404
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:20,399
Speaker 1: new filter.

405
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,960
Speaker 2: Honestly, if he's going to put that smaller, I don't

406
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:23,679
Speaker 2: trust the judgment.

407
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,960
Speaker 1: If I'm going to be honest, I guess it's in

408
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,240
Speaker 1: proportion to his size.

409
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:28,119
Speaker 2: In his mind.

410
00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:30,359
Speaker 1: He's like, this is a huge twenty gallon tank.

411
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,480
Speaker 2: Yeah. I thought he was going to be like, oh,

412
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 2: just get a bucket. We've got buckets. Don't get a bucket, bro,

413
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:38,840
Speaker 2: But no, that's it. But it was horrific those couple

414
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:42,520
Speaker 2: of that, and they were both sick as well. I

415
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:44,119
Speaker 2: wouldn't wish it upon my worst.

416
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Speaker 1: What's the countdown? How long do we move out?

417
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:52,320
Speaker 2: We've got about five weeks? Wow? Yeah, wow, I should

418
00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:52,879
Speaker 2: go fast.

419
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:54,240
Speaker 1: That is going to fly by.

420
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:57,000
Speaker 2: And I got a lot on how do you guys

421
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:57,560
Speaker 2: go in the weather?

422
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:00,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it was hard.

423
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:01,080
Speaker 2: It was hard.

424
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:05,359
Speaker 1: Probably the hardest part was the fact that soccer was

425
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:06,359
Speaker 1: canceled for Lola.

426
00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:07,960
Speaker 2: Lola's playing soccer.

427
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Speaker 1: That leads me to my next story.

428
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,040
Speaker 2: Oh, even since when.

429
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:18,960
Speaker 1: We started a couple of weeks ago midwinter and yeah, look,

430
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,919
Speaker 1: it's funny because Marley has always wanted to dance like that.

431
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,760
Speaker 1: She just loves it. She's always been very vocal. She's like,

432
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,880
Speaker 1: I want to do dance classes, and we thought we're

433
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:30,159
Speaker 1: just going to give her a little rest for the

434
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:35,000
Speaker 1: first bit of kindie and Lola just loves kicking.

435
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,720
Speaker 2: A ball and she's pretty good. I see that she's

436
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:39,520
Speaker 2: pretty good. I see that she's more than like that.

437
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,520
Speaker 2: I want to get beat some people.

438
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Speaker 1: Little bulldozer. And then there's there's a Centennial Park, which

439
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:48,200
Speaker 1: is a big park here in Sydney. They do classes

440
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:52,280
Speaker 1: on the weekend. It's a Sunday, which is pretty annoying.

441
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:53,880
Speaker 2: I think classes not games.

442
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,760
Speaker 1: No, not games, not games. So it's like little workshops

443
00:21:56,800 --> 00:22:01,040
Speaker 1: where you're literally in groups of like ten kids and

444
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:04,320
Speaker 1: they do a few activities, a couple of games, and

445
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:06,640
Speaker 1: then they have a little a little like five on five

446
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 1: game at the end. But but I was like, I

447
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,080
Speaker 1: was genuinely really nervous.

448
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:12,399
Speaker 2: I don't know.

449
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,919
Speaker 1: You were like with Oscar when you took him to

450
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:18,439
Speaker 1: his first rugby training, were like, yeah, we're fine whatever.

451
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,679
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was like that until he fell over and

452
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:23,680
Speaker 2: then he hid the rest of the time. The disabled

453
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:28,200
Speaker 2: toilets laugh away. It is funny.

454
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:29,399
Speaker 1: Is he playing next season?

455
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,119
Speaker 2: No, he's doing jiu jitsu. Now that's but that.

456
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:34,639
Speaker 1: Doesn't make any sense. No mud, no mud. He's not

457
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:35,160
Speaker 1: a mud guy.

458
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:38,480
Speaker 2: Not a mud guy. I blame April for that because

459
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:41,240
Speaker 2: she's always like a good sense for issues or anything,

460
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 2: just like squeamish touches us like.

461
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,560
Speaker 1: His mother, who was beautiful.

462
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,800
Speaker 2: Say to me the other day, she was like, it's

463
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,560
Speaker 2: funny when you're when you're both ragging on me, and

464
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,440
Speaker 2: then I'm like, in April, there was April to do that,

465
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:57,640
Speaker 2: and You're like, and she's amazing and very had we

466
00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:01,720
Speaker 2: were talking about last week, we were talking it the

467
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 2: vacation care decision. Well, she's a smart woman, she's lovely,

468
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 2: she's beautiful, and I support her decision. You're the worst

469
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:17,080
Speaker 2: parent in the world.

470
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 1: Such a lucky guy. Laura had signed Lola up and

471
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:25,720
Speaker 1: I was like, do you think she's like, we don't

472
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:27,560
Speaker 1: know anyone who's going there. There wasn't as if there

473
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:30,080
Speaker 1: was a kid that she was going with. You know,

474
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:33,720
Speaker 1: it's really intimidating these environments where you throw your child

475
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:36,919
Speaker 1: into a group of kids they don't know. And Lola

476
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 1: is like, she's sociable, but it takes her a while

477
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:39,719
Speaker 1: to warm up.

478
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,359
Speaker 2: She beats anyone up that doesn't want to socialize with.

479
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,439
Speaker 2: There's like I.

480
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:47,440
Speaker 1: Was like, hopefully she doesn't head butt any But we

481
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 1: we rock up and we're a little bit early and

482
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:53,879
Speaker 1: we were just having a little kick around. There's balls everywhere,

483
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 1: and I kind of said, let's have a little kick

484
00:23:56,960 --> 00:24:00,840
Speaker 1: and I'll never forget it. She always like a meter

485
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,240
Speaker 1: in front of the goal, and I said, just kick

486
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:05,600
Speaker 1: it in the goal and she talks to stuff. She goes, okay,

487
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:11,240
Speaker 1: here I go. My very first kick and she was

488
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 1: so nervous and she narrated it. She like was hyping

489
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:16,920
Speaker 1: herself up and she like did a It was an

490
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:20,080
Speaker 1: awful kick, and she was like, don't worry, we'll go again,

491
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:22,399
Speaker 1: like grabs the ball goes in for another kick, and

492
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my gosh, I am dying inside.

493
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 1: And I was also like, I hope she enjoys this

494
00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 1: like she was.

495
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,440
Speaker 2: She was so.

496
00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:35,360
Speaker 1: Pumped to go. And then the teacher comes over and

497
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 1: I now know that these clinics on a Sunday morning

498
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,400
Speaker 1: are pretty much run by like mostly Brits.

499
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:43,440
Speaker 2: They do love football.

500
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:46,440
Speaker 1: They love football, and they're all in their like early twenties.

501
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 1: They're all fucking hungover.

502
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,359
Speaker 2: That's the best. That's the best.

503
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,120
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'm like chomping because this is such

504
00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 1: a big moment. And I'm like gop to her coach

505
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,199
Speaker 1: and he's like, hey, you fucking go.

506
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,399
Speaker 2: Mate, Oh I may old mate, And.

507
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:04,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, here's here's Lola, and he like stinks of vodka.

508
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:10,360
Speaker 1: He's like kicking in the like I said, over there,

509
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,320
Speaker 1: know what I mean there?

510
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you're like, I used to live in London.

511
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:21,000
Speaker 1: She enjoyed it. She was she was good. She was

512
00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:24,640
Speaker 1: like very, very nervous, and it was hard because there

513
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:26,640
Speaker 1: are a couple of kids. I want to say, almost

514
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:30,560
Speaker 1: all the kids had professional boots on. They'd all done

515
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 1: it before. They were really really good. And she just

516
00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 1: had normal shoes on. She had Marley's hand me down

517
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,320
Speaker 1: shoes from school that she was calling her fast shoes.

518
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:40,960
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah yeah, and.

519
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:45,440
Speaker 1: She was. It took her a while, but Laurd whenever

520
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:46,720
Speaker 1: she would touch the ball, they had a little game

521
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,879
Speaker 1: at the end. She'll get close to the ball and

522
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 1: Laura's there going kick out?

523
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 2: Is she going to be one of those guys?

524
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:56,399
Speaker 1: And I was like, can you relax.

525
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,679
Speaker 2: Bro okay, some of the guys some of my friend's

526
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:02,800
Speaker 2: kids do soccer on a Saturday morning with their boys,

527
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:04,920
Speaker 2: like a like a proper competition. Not in the competition

528
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 2: that's like a proper games and stuff, the fights, the

529
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:11,680
Speaker 2: parents that fight. It's every week. I hear it's Laura

530
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:12,200
Speaker 2: is one of them.

531
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 1: I know. I was like, can you just relax?

532
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:17,680
Speaker 2: And then her in April would be fucking that. I'd

533
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:19,879
Speaker 2: hate to come across April and Laura down to the

534
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:20,680
Speaker 2: kid's soccer game.

535
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 1: Now, I would really enjoy it because April is such

536
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 1: a lovely woman. She's got great conversational skills.

537
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 2: And.

538
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,040
Speaker 1: It's a side of Laura I haven't seen before. And

539
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:34,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, Laura, this is three minutes on five and

540
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 1: five and these kids are four years old, just relaxed.

541
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,920
Speaker 1: And there was one kid who was so good, didn't

542
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 1: pass to anyone, and she was like, fucking timmy kid

543
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,840
Speaker 1: needs to learn how to pass. And I was like,

544
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:49,920
Speaker 1: his parents could be here, like just Tim Cahill's kid.

545
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 1: But then I think, when you I don't know if

546
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:57,679
Speaker 1: you notice this, but when the ball comes to you,

547
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:01,840
Speaker 1: some kids would hesitate, yeah lolos. But she's hesitating a

548
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,920
Speaker 1: bit and other kids would like run to the ball.

549
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:09,119
Speaker 1: Finally she gets to the ball, She dribbles down the field.

550
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 1: She then lines up the goal, takes a kick, scores

551
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:16,960
Speaker 1: a goal. No ship in the wrong goal.

552
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,480
Speaker 2: Actually it's so good. No one even trying to stop me.

553
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:24,680
Speaker 1: And she looks at us and I'm just going.

554
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's good enough. I think that's fine, Like I

555
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 2: have no problems with that any holes a goal that's

556
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:33,680
Speaker 2: exactly where that.

557
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 1: Poor all hugo that hungover BRIT's I mean, that's not

558
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 1: a sound goal.

559
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 2: That's the wrong goal. Love. I was like, just let

560
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:42,719
Speaker 2: her have it.

561
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 1: Hell, he's like red card.

562
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 2: It's oh man, I'm dreading the sport, the early morning sports.

563
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:54,040
Speaker 2: I want to say thank you to my parents for

564
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 2: driving me every which way to play soccer all over

565
00:27:57,040 --> 00:28:00,239
Speaker 2: the East Coast of Australia. Like fuck bow Man used

566
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,880
Speaker 2: to drive me to like Byron Bay twice a week

567
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:06,160
Speaker 2: for training and then because it was a rep squad,

568
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 2: so it was like.

569
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 1: A week but what's that from the Gold Coast It's

570
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 1: like an hour and a half yeah yeah, yeah, after work.

571
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 2: And fair but it was it was funny because like

572
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 2: the games would be anywhere from Coffs Harbor to the

573
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:25,399
Speaker 2: border or even some of the gold. It was fuck it.

574
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,560
Speaker 2: I honestly, I don't know how my old man did it.

575
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 2: I think he was just He's always just been the driver,

576
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:32,399
Speaker 2: and he just loves the drive. I think, like, but

577
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 2: that actually reminds me. I used to coach a soccer team,

578
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 2: a kid's soccer team. When I was eighteen. Me and

579
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 2: my mate Troy used to coach an under eight team Hungover.

580
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:46,800
Speaker 1: That does not surprise me.

581
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 2: Every week it was I don't know. We loved it,

582
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:52,120
Speaker 2: and the parents loved us because the kids wouldn't listen

583
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,080
Speaker 2: to them, but they would listen to us. We had them,

584
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:56,560
Speaker 2: We took them to the Grand finals, the whole bit,

585
00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 2: and every year the parents give us bottles of alcohol

586
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:00,960
Speaker 2: and stuff for like the end of view. It was

587
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,240
Speaker 2: fucking amazing. I actually looked back and I'm like, fuck,

588
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:04,120
Speaker 2: that was so fun.

589
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 1: Okay, so what do I have to do with Lola?

590
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 1: How do I tell me how to I'm trying to

591
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:08,959
Speaker 1: get her to dribble up and down the hallway.

592
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 2: That's good, That's that's plenty. I need you need a Yeah,

593
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 2: trying to teach my kid how to kick properly.

594
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, but she'll listen to you.

595
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:19,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe I'll give it a go. Next time I

596
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 2: see it, I'll be like, all rights, what you got?

597
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:24,960
Speaker 1: She could be a next Matilda, she could be. I

598
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:27,240
Speaker 1: think she's got it. I think she was about to

599
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 1: go deck her out and like proper, but shouldn't pass.

600
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 2: And the women's the national women's team is better than

601
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 2: the national men's team. I'm just going to be complete. Absolutely.

602
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 1: I tried to get Marley to sign up and she

603
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 1: was like, fuck, that's.

604
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:41,240
Speaker 2: Old day step. But is it expensive?

605
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,960
Speaker 1: It's very expensive. They really it's not cheap. I don't

606
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 1: know how much I'm paying, but it's it's punchy kids.

607
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 2: Sport is not cheap. It's great.

608
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:53,239
Speaker 1: I was in my mind, I was thinking like we

609
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,360
Speaker 1: could do two dotting Dads soccer clinics.

610
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 2: We could. We tried that with Union last year. Remember

611
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,160
Speaker 2: we sponsored the Union team. It cost us and but

612
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 2: we got absolutely nothing out of that.

613
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:04,520
Speaker 1: Yeah you're right now, Well, I think we's conductable. We could.

614
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 1: We could set it up ourselves and you can reach

615
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 1: out to those old parents. You're experienced. I have won

616
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:13,480
Speaker 1: a Grand Final before when I was twelve years just

617
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:18,120
Speaker 1: the one, Matt.

618
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,480
Speaker 2: I think it's time for one of our favorite segments,

619
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 2: which is parent.

620
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:24,800
Speaker 1: Please let's do it. Oh I am I have to

621
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:27,880
Speaker 1: actually no, we'll play We'll play the theme song now, oh.

622
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, one of the previous You say, what man, I

623
00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 2: feel like a parent, and I.

624
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 1: Will say I will just want to read you a

625
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 1: quick message. This is not a parant but this is

626
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 1: in regards to the parant song. Yes from Kate on Instagram.

627
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:56,880
Speaker 2: We've been nominated scenario and she.

628
00:30:56,920 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 1: Goes, she goes, the highlight of my year is you

629
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:05,680
Speaker 1: changing your par ants song? It almost had me bailing

630
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:08,959
Speaker 1: on you guys good but now I can get my

631
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 1: lulls without wanting to simultaneously kill myself. Oh my god,

632
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 1: thanks fellas. New song is killer in a good way.

633
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:19,160
Speaker 2: Wasn't that bad?

634
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 1: It's so hard to know if.

635
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:23,200
Speaker 2: People we were going for it being that bad. We

636
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 2: wanted to do that. I was like, I want this

637
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 2: to be so bad.

638
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:29,840
Speaker 1: But what's even weirder is the fact that people also

639
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 1: reach out. There's a minority of them sure who say

640
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 1: I missed the song and I.

641
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 2: Don't know what to believe.

642
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 1: It's like people who have like what's like a what's

643
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 1: a weird drink? Like a NEGRONI right, people hate it,

644
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 1: but then there's weirdos out there who like the badness.

645
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:51,200
Speaker 1: Oh you know, not to say that people who like

646
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:54,760
Speaker 1: the song were weird freaks.

647
00:31:55,320 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 2: Freaks. Oh, they're the sort of kids who ate glue. Sorry, guys,

648
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 2: you know it's true.

649
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:05,600
Speaker 1: They're like they're right now sitting in the car with

650
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 1: a bloody clag jargo. Oh god, know too much clag.

651
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 2: Clag zoo zoo clag glue. Oh my god, that takes

652
00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:22,200
Speaker 2: me back delicious. All right, Oh fuck, this is I'll

653
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 2: do the short one. You're you're the better talker than me, reader, whatever.

654
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 1: Whatever you call it, whatever you I don't want to

655
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 1: call it.

656
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:33,360
Speaker 2: Because you're better than me. This one's from Katie Black

657
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 2: specific first name and last name. No one look her up.

658
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 2: When kids, okay, this is gonna it is going to

659
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 2: irk me. I've pre read it in my head. When

660
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 2: kids squeeze half the tube of toothpaste out to.

661
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:51,720
Speaker 1: Brush that sea so annoying.

662
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:55,640
Speaker 2: I just don't have a middle ground. It's either none

663
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 2: nor or of it.

664
00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:02,000
Speaker 1: But also I don't kids like hs of four and six, right,

665
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 1: you think at this age that understand physics a little bit?

666
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 2: Is that physics.

667
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 1: Well no, I was going to say, like, like, surely

668
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,080
Speaker 1: they can, like the toothpastes left.

669
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 2: The tube, whatever they squeeze out is going in their mouth.

670
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 1: They're the rules, but they can tell they've got like

671
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 1: there's the toothpaste is left.

672
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 2: Have you ever put too much toothpaste in your kid's

673
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 2: mouth as punished?

674
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 1: Well, Lola eats the toothpaste, so yeah, she's your saste

675
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 1: too good. Yeah she likes it. But you know when

676
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:32,200
Speaker 1: the kids are filling up, like putting milk in a cup,

677
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 1: and it's like you're at you're at the top, like

678
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,400
Speaker 1: why are you still pouring? You can tell that it's full,

679
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:40,719
Speaker 1: you know what's going to happen next, but yet you

680
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:41,400
Speaker 1: don't stop.

681
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:42,920
Speaker 2: It's like what I did to you at the cafe

682
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,200
Speaker 2: the other day, and I filled your your water cup

683
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:46,840
Speaker 2: all the way up to like the brim, so if

684
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 2: you touched it still over. So they're all learning it

685
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 2: from me, but it is so fucking annoying, and I'm like,

686
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:58,760
Speaker 2: you know, try and give them some independency. Big word

687
00:33:58,840 --> 00:33:59,040
Speaker 2: for me?

688
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:00,360
Speaker 1: Is that a word?

689
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 2: It is? Now?

690
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:02,560
Speaker 1: Independency?

691
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:08,640
Speaker 2: She doesn't know either, what do you know? Anyway, I'm

692
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:10,840
Speaker 2: like that's it you. I will scrape it up and

693
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 2: I'll be in your mouth. You deal with that. And

694
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:17,319
Speaker 2: I was just like sneezing from all the mint. But

695
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:21,359
Speaker 2: how you give the mint? Mate? I told you Macy's

696
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:24,439
Speaker 2: addicted to eclip mints, Eclipse mints. She started to say

697
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:27,279
Speaker 2: no to Eclipse mins. Now what she moved on to No, No, No,

698
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,520
Speaker 2: she just says no because she's got her own stash.

699
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:34,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, just accept it. I have got this. One is

700
00:34:34,120 --> 00:34:34,480
Speaker 1: from Alo.

701
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 2: This is a long one.

702
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 1: Struck yourselves in. I've got twin toddlers, one with suspected autism.

703
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:49,879
Speaker 1: Thank you that your aunt. Sorry the end, and I'm

704
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 1: pregnant with number three. Congratulations, thank you and commiserations. So

705
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 1: drop offs and pickups are already a circus. We've worked

706
00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 1: hard on routines, but you know how toddlers get when

707
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 1: they're really tired and distracted, they don't always listen. Ash

708
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 1: and Matt. So picture this. It's four point thirty pm,

709
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 1: long day. I collect the twins. My daughter runs ahead

710
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:16,239
Speaker 1: to the gate in brackets standard. My son's inside the door,

711
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:22,799
Speaker 1: distracted by the birds. I'll get you those birds.

712
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,640
Speaker 2: He's like, that's a silver tailed squador.

713
00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:32,239
Speaker 1: As I'm literally trying to pull him along two separate families,

714
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:34,680
Speaker 1: each with both mum and dad. Just open the gate,

715
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 1: let my daughter push past them and sprint straight into

716
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:41,279
Speaker 1: the road. Oh my god, in that split second, I

717
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:44,279
Speaker 1: had to ditch my son, slam the door, so we

718
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 1: stayed inside, honestly safer there, and push past four adults

719
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 1: to grab my daughter off the road. How's the daughter again?

720
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:55,000
Speaker 2: They're twins.

721
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 1: Oh fuck, he's good. You were listening, thank you.

722
00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:01,839
Speaker 2: I was picturing it. You said, picture, thank you.

723
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 1: Then went back to my son, who thankfully listened and

724
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:08,839
Speaker 1: stayed put, although very confused why mum had abandoned him.

725
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 2: So what's the rant?

726
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 1: I'm getting that patient?

727
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:13,279
Speaker 2: Oh yes, it's a leader.

728
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 1: It's a leader. It's a good lead up because normally

729
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 1: the rants are like a sentence. Yeah, it's nice to

730
00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:20,040
Speaker 1: get a meaty one.

731
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 2: It is. That's what she said, thank you, thank you. Okay.

732
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:25,880
Speaker 1: Not one of those parents stopped, tried to help, or

733
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:29,840
Speaker 1: even checked on my son. They carried on like nothing happened,

734
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:34,160
Speaker 1: despite the massive sign on the gate watch for children

735
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:36,880
Speaker 1: only let out kids you're responsible for.

736
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:40,320
Speaker 2: So that's the rant, that's the rand, and that's fair

737
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:44,440
Speaker 2: I would say say it. I would say poor form.

738
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,160
Speaker 2: That is poor form from those four parents, because I

739
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:50,040
Speaker 2: know and there's time the other day I only jumped

740
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:51,400
Speaker 2: in a pool because I thought kid was going to

741
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:52,800
Speaker 2: jump in there. I don't know who the kid was

742
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 2: or where he came.

743
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 1: From, was going to cross the road.

744
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:02,840
Speaker 2: I'm like, shit, like my my parental instincts does not

745
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 2: just stop at my kids. I'm like, if I see

746
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 2: a kid that, I'm like this, something could happen here,

747
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 2: even if that parent has a dig at me, forget,

748
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:14,440
Speaker 2: like it's none of my business. If that, if that,

749
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:17,400
Speaker 2: if I could save a life, I will.

750
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:20,040
Speaker 1: You are such a good guy, And I think, do

751
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:20,960
Speaker 1: I dare say hero?

752
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:27,359
Speaker 2: Say it? You are a hero? This podcast is very

753
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:31,120
Speaker 2: self indulgent about me. So our kindy has two gates, right,

754
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:34,960
Speaker 2: because that's that's the regulation, right, My wrong, there's more

755
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 2: than one gate separate whether it's next to each other

756
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:42,399
Speaker 2: door gate anyway, so you've got to open one one

757
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:44,959
Speaker 2: the other way. And if a kid, if a kid's

758
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:46,840
Speaker 2: there on his own, which happens to be all the

759
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:48,759
Speaker 2: time because it's outside and it's right in the fa,

760
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 2: I will legit be like you get fucking back inside, kid,

761
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 2: get inside.

762
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 1: Right, Well, you always look for the nod of approval.

763
00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:58,560
Speaker 1: If a kid's about to run under your arm and

764
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:00,160
Speaker 1: the parent's not flanking the chip.

765
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:01,399
Speaker 2: You're tripping that kid over.

766
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:06,160
Speaker 1: Saved your life head budting in front on.

767
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:09,320
Speaker 2: Yeah. And I think like if a kid, if a

768
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:11,600
Speaker 2: kid runs past four adults one in.

769
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 1: Four, okay, And to me this, if you were that

770
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:17,640
Speaker 1: mum and you've ditched your autistic child.

771
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:20,279
Speaker 2: I would do you do you?

772
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 1: Then? Do you then have a girl with the parents?

773
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:23,440
Speaker 1: Come on?

774
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:25,160
Speaker 2: Come on? No, I think you and I are very

775
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 2: similar where we wouldn't be as direct as that, we

776
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:29,799
Speaker 2: would have a little dick. We'd say something along the

777
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 2: lines of this, do you guys mind watching my autistic child?

778
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:34,080
Speaker 2: Where I go and get my other one off the road?

779
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:36,560
Speaker 1: You let out yeah as I peel her off the back.

780
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then do you guys mind and let them go?

781
00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 2: Oh shit? Sorry? Because if I go, hey, don't let

782
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,320
Speaker 2: kids out, like, don't to do it. But if I

783
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:49,359
Speaker 2: passive aggressively like you would do the.

784
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:51,720
Speaker 1: Same, or would you say, would you grab your child

785
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 1: and be like you know you cannot just run out

786
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 1: the gate when silly parents open it.

787
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:58,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, or you walk back in with your

788
00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:01,120
Speaker 2: kid and go it's okay, guys, she's a you didnt

789
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 2: get hit by a car this time. Next time, you

790
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 2: don't know.

791
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:07,080
Speaker 1: And then Ash was crossing his fingers.

792
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:09,560
Speaker 2: Yeah oh wait, I forget this is an audio. No,

793
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:10,840
Speaker 2: we're on YouTube now.

794
00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:14,360
Speaker 1: So yeah it sucked in shout out to our YouTube

795
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 1: listener's watches.

796
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 2: Same thing. Okay, but yeah, that's poor form from four

797
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 2: If it's one parent and they are carrying a baby

798
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:24,360
Speaker 2: or something, I'm like, okay, well, okay, they've got they've

799
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:29,640
Speaker 2: got their own fucking mess. But four parents, m that's

800
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:31,799
Speaker 2: four sets and legs. Of course it's well, we don't

801
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 2: know that because they could be disabled.

802
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:34,759
Speaker 1: But anyway, let's go on. Let's move on.

803
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:41,239
Speaker 2: Francesca, Francesca, life's too short, well said, and that's the

804
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 2: end of the rand. Life's too short to be a

805
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:49,400
Speaker 2: full time sock detective. Five people live here, yet somehow

806
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:53,239
Speaker 2: eight hundred socks with zero matches are lurking in the

807
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 2: house like it's their full time job to disappear. Well,

808
00:39:57,040 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 2: so this person's a creative right for sure, because unless yes, no, no, yeah,

809
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 2: I see that. At this point. I'm convinced maternity wards

810
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:11,160
Speaker 2: need to issue a lifelong sock allocation at birth, like

811
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:15,319
Speaker 2: a sort of hat for feet. Wait, wait, like a

812
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 2: sorting hat four feet. So the rant here is that

813
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,720
Speaker 2: she's winging that she can't find two socks at match,

814
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:24,319
Speaker 2: I believe, So where are they going?

815
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:28,799
Speaker 1: I saw that one on the Facebook group and I

816
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:30,920
Speaker 1: bought like a twenty pack of socks.

817
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 2: That's too many from right.

818
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:37,120
Speaker 1: A week later, gone, I've got one, I've got one left.

819
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:42,480
Speaker 2: Do you know what that is? It's called over population. Okay,

820
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:43,320
Speaker 2: so think about this.

821
00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 1: How can you have too many pairs?

822
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:47,160
Speaker 2: Let me stop you. You have so you have two

823
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:51,080
Speaker 2: pairs of socks, okay forever, and you're like, I've got

824
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,719
Speaker 2: two pairs of socks. You take care of those two

825
00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 2: pairs of socks, because they are You're only two pairs

826
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:59,600
Speaker 2: of socks. Now if you are, all of a sudden

827
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 2: all I had twenty pairs of.

828
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:03,440
Speaker 1: Socks, the respect for the pears.

829
00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:05,759
Speaker 2: Boom, and you're like, oh, I's got another pair, And

830
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:07,640
Speaker 2: then all of a sudden, you do I've already got

831
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 2: I've got another pair.

832
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:12,399
Speaker 1: Enough time changes your mentality. Boom, Yeah, socks are gone,

833
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:17,359
Speaker 1: Like the ration mentality. Yeah Rashian, not Russian, Rasian Rassian.

834
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:20,200
Speaker 2: Yes ration with an a no U ration.

835
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, you get me, I know, I get you.

836
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:27,200
Speaker 2: Fair pair rant, I would say yes, and I don't

837
00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:29,720
Speaker 2: think there's a solution because kids are fucked with socks.

838
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:30,960
Speaker 1: There's no solution here. No.

839
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:34,680
Speaker 2: You may see the other day, four different socks, okay,

840
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 2: on four different limbs. She had sock right foot, yellow sock,

841
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:47,279
Speaker 2: left foot, white, frilly hands, rainbow sock, and then a

842
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,279
Speaker 2: fucking pepper pig sock. On the other hand, I was like,

843
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:52,840
Speaker 2: what are you doing? Like I'm going to just like

844
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:55,560
Speaker 2: I'm going to KINDI I was like, fine, weff you go.

845
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:56,600
Speaker 2: Don't lose those socks.

846
00:41:56,920 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 1: Where are the rest of your place? Must be really cold.

847
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:02,719
Speaker 2: And it's full of water. She's got.

848
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,760
Speaker 1: What's wrong with you? It's like, I can't feel my limbs.

849
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:09,120
Speaker 1: Get the fuck out of here, and I.

850
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:11,400
Speaker 2: Just got different socks and like three different dresses on.

851
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:14,360
Speaker 1: I'm just going to add, just really quickly, a little

852
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:17,640
Speaker 1: parent if I may, Okay, I just want to say,

853
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 1: what is really pissing me off at the moment is

854
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 1: the fact that trying to get my kids to eat

855
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:28,000
Speaker 1: dinner is Honestly, it's like it's like it's like I'm

856
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:32,319
Speaker 1: trying to poison them, you know, just every mouthful is

857
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:35,920
Speaker 1: near and possible, right then it sits in their mouth

858
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 1: for like what feels like minutes till it's actually days.

859
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:45,080
Speaker 1: Like it's it's just an ordeal. It's just awful. I'm

860
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:48,000
Speaker 1: getting annoyed that I'm eating. There's always like half the

861
00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:50,279
Speaker 1: food left on the plate, to the point where I'm like,

862
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,120
Speaker 1: do you know what stuff it? I'm calling it.

863
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:54,719
Speaker 2: Go to bed, Go to bed.

864
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 1: And then as I'm getting into bed, they're like, where stuff?

865
00:42:58,400 --> 00:42:59,839
Speaker 1: We're so hungry.

866
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:03,479
Speaker 2: It's fucked, isn't it. And two things on this please

867
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 2: I've got for you. First one is Macey's doing this

868
00:43:05,719 --> 00:43:09,399
Speaker 2: thing where if it's like between noodles and rice, she'll

869
00:43:09,440 --> 00:43:10,680
Speaker 2: say one, and then when I give it to her,

870
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:13,240
Speaker 2: she'll be like, oh, I want the other one, so annoying,

871
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:15,960
Speaker 2: Like you said noodles, I'm not going to go cook

872
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:19,640
Speaker 2: rice now. First one second one is this very subject, Matthew,

873
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:25,359
Speaker 2: I happen to be writing a book on this subject. Yeah,

874
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:27,520
Speaker 2: so I thought you know that too, little little teaser,

875
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:30,239
Speaker 2: A little teaser on a book about kids not eating

876
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 2: their dinner.

877
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:32,319
Speaker 1: It's a bloody arm. But when's the book come out?

878
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:38,040
Speaker 1: I'm just to be determined that should we go on

879
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,799
Speaker 1: to well, first thing, excited for the book, thank you,

880
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 1: And secondly, should we go on to listener questions?

881
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:45,759
Speaker 2: We should absolutely go into listening questions. Ash.

882
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:49,040
Speaker 1: This question is from Emma. She asks, my child has

883
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:52,640
Speaker 1: a phobia of cheese and butter, two.

884
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:53,520
Speaker 2: Very good things.

885
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:55,719
Speaker 1: It's weird that they have a phobia about this, but

886
00:43:55,880 --> 00:44:00,279
Speaker 1: she wants to know any phobia tips both yellow. Hmm,

887
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:04,040
Speaker 1: Actually I would love to know, Emma, are there any

888
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:06,200
Speaker 1: other yellow items that your child is scared of?

889
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:07,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, they traumatize.

890
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:10,839
Speaker 1: But it's weird because man, those like like my kids

891
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:15,239
Speaker 1: will polish off but hack of butter, no problem whatsoever.

892
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:17,279
Speaker 2: I would eat a stick of butter. I bet you

893
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:20,840
Speaker 2: I would rub myself in that. I would watch No,

894
00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:25,400
Speaker 2: I won't lock myself. I would say I would go

895
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 2: with it. You know how like our previous generation they

896
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:32,960
Speaker 2: did this thing where it's like if they caught you smoking,

897
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:34,920
Speaker 2: they make you smoke a whole packet of cigarettes. So

898
00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:36,759
Speaker 2: it'd be like, yeah, you don't want to eat that,

899
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:41,600
Speaker 2: eat this whole stick of butter, don't move, don't get

900
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:44,440
Speaker 2: over it real quick either that or be probably traumatized

901
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:45,200
Speaker 2: to the rest their lives.

902
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:49,640
Speaker 1: I was going to say, check your kids cholesterol. Maybe

903
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:52,120
Speaker 1: they've got a high cholesterol and they just don't realize it.

904
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:55,000
Speaker 1: There's no phobia. It's just their body telling them, like,

905
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:56,480
Speaker 1: we don't need this right now.

906
00:44:56,520 --> 00:44:58,759
Speaker 2: I already have this. The cholesterol sense.

907
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:04,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, collection, collect the fuck the collecteroal the cholesterol senses

908
00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:06,040
Speaker 1: are absolutely peaking.

909
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:12,680
Speaker 2: Exposure exposure therapy, Matthew, you go on. It's not unique

910
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 2: to cheese and butter, but I believe it's just as successful.

911
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 1: It's yeah, it's effective.

912
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 2: Statistics say that cheese and butter are two of the

913
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:24,800
Speaker 2: most delicious things in the world. So they'll get over it.

914
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 1: And how much butter do you need to expose your

915
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:28,840
Speaker 1: child too? In order to get rid of the phobia,

916
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:31,120
Speaker 1: all of it, like kilos.

917
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:33,359
Speaker 2: All of it, whatever, all of it means to you.

918
00:45:33,480 --> 00:45:40,080
Speaker 4: Just completely butter them up, butter them up, and slide

919
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:43,080
Speaker 4: them down the hallway into a big bag of cheese.

920
00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:45,160
Speaker 1: That'll sort it, That'll sort it right out.

921
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:46,640
Speaker 2: Maybe they're just health conscious.

922
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:50,359
Speaker 1: It's a weird phobia. I'm here to judge, I will.

923
00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 2: I think there's got to be a scientific name for

924
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:55,319
Speaker 2: that that phobia. There has to be.

925
00:45:55,840 --> 00:46:02,280
Speaker 1: It's called turophobia. A turo is the irrational or disproportionate

926
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:06,239
Speaker 1: fear of cheese. Individuals with this phobia may experience anxiety

927
00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 1: or discomfort when seeing, smelling, or even thinking about cheese.

928
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:13,000
Speaker 2: Wow, phobias are weird, aren't they. Just let's just sit

929
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 2: on this for one sec I have a friend who

930
00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:21,080
Speaker 2: is deathly afraid of bananas, not even a fucking joke.

931
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:23,200
Speaker 2: Won't even go near a banana.

932
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:26,600
Speaker 1: You know, it's even weird. Bananas a yellow.

933
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:29,760
Speaker 2: Also, my dad's got a friend who's definitely afraid of tomatoes.

934
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:35,280
Speaker 2: Anything to do with tomatoes, tomato paste, tomato sauce freaks.

935
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:38,799
Speaker 2: I mean, that's just it's weird. Phobia is a weird.

936
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:39,920
Speaker 1: Weird it's tomatoes.

937
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:41,799
Speaker 2: Come on, well, and I hope they grow out of it.

938
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:44,880
Speaker 1: And we meant to be like the most like advanced

939
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:47,359
Speaker 1: species in the fucking world. And then people are like,

940
00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:50,240
Speaker 1: that's a tramping tomato.

941
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:54,400
Speaker 2: And meanwhile, my dog's eating anything off the floor. Jesus,

942
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:57,960
Speaker 2: and you're dumb anyway, all right, man, let's finish this

943
00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:03,160
Speaker 2: off with a bit more listener inclusive question that I

944
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:05,359
Speaker 2: put to the Facebook group. And if you're not part

945
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:09,319
Speaker 2: of the Facebook group, group on the mind. If you're

946
00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:12,160
Speaker 2: not part of the Facebook group, jump on, two doting dads,

947
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:16,319
Speaker 2: I've been kicked out of the group. Well I've been reaccepted.

948
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:17,520
Speaker 2: Who kicked me out?

949
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,440
Speaker 1: Jess? And I gave you the boot because we asked

950
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:22,399
Speaker 1: the people in the Facebook group what you should get

951
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:26,279
Speaker 1: for your birthday and to make sure you bastards, make

952
00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:29,960
Speaker 1: sure you didn't peak. We then removed you. Ah, you

953
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:31,200
Speaker 1: were going for about two weeks.

954
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:33,879
Speaker 2: No, I wasn't.

955
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 1: It's a couple of days.

956
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:39,040
Speaker 2: Fuck. So I want to tell you a quick little story.

957
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:43,160
Speaker 2: In the Facebook group, I said, have you ever caught

958
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,560
Speaker 2: your kids out on a lie? Which they lie all

959
00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 2: the time. They're the worst liars too. And this came

960
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:51,719
Speaker 2: about because Pete from the Cafes Kid got two kids

961
00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:54,799
Speaker 2: similar age to ours, actually exact same age to ours,

962
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:57,319
Speaker 2: it's not similar, the exact same age. They had sex

963
00:47:57,360 --> 00:47:59,120
Speaker 2: the same week both times.

964
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:02,360
Speaker 1: Wow, I thought you'd go somewhere else. You and Pete.

965
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:07,880
Speaker 2: Me and Pete, we didn't have sex anyway. So Pete's

966
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:11,719
Speaker 2: youngest daughter essentially yelled out to Pete and said, Dad,

967
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:16,040
Speaker 2: come upstairs. The eldest has drawn on the wall. And

968
00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:18,840
Speaker 2: Pete said, okay, Well, he couldn't nerve because he was

969
00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 2: with me, and she insisted that it definitely was and

970
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:25,279
Speaker 2: what was drawn on the wall was the outline of

971
00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:29,360
Speaker 2: a hand, and through sheer, what's that? What am I

972
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:29,680
Speaker 2: thinking of?

973
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:30,439
Speaker 1: Detective work?

974
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:30,960
Speaker 4: Sheer?

975
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 2: Detective forensics or process of elimination his hand? He said,

976
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 2: okay to his oldest, put your hand up. Lineup, didn't match,

977
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:44,200
Speaker 2: And he said, all right, young one, put your hand up, idiot.

978
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:47,160
Speaker 1: And she put it up there and did you have

979
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:49,040
Speaker 1: any excuse when she'd tea the perfect match?

980
00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:51,439
Speaker 2: I think she just cried right away.

981
00:48:52,239 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 1: They're good. They are good, They're good.

982
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 2: That's what I do now. And Apri was like and

983
00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:01,759
Speaker 2: it led me to believe, like when like when have

984
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:05,080
Speaker 2: other parents caught their kids out? This is from Georgie,

985
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:09,439
Speaker 2: eldest of two boys, MACKI is five. Maybe two years ago,

986
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:13,400
Speaker 2: he lied about pooing in the bath context. I couldn't

987
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:15,960
Speaker 2: work out what the smell was in the bathroom for

988
00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:19,400
Speaker 2: three days. I had asked him multiple times. I was

989
00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:22,759
Speaker 2: going insane. We were renting while we were waiting to

990
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:26,200
Speaker 2: move into a house. We bought Congratulations and the bath

991
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:31,319
Speaker 2: was one of those corner spa baths sexy from the

992
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:34,720
Speaker 2: early two thousands, more like the nineties that had those jets,

993
00:49:34,760 --> 00:49:38,160
Speaker 2: you know, those silver jets. Lo and behold. I finally

994
00:49:38,239 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 2: found his massive turd which had been taken, which he

995
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:44,480
Speaker 2: had taken upon himself to stuff.

996
00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 6: And hide in one of the jets.

997
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:56,600
Speaker 2: Fucked, that's what it's from.

998
00:49:56,640 --> 00:50:03,400
Speaker 1: Rebecca. Have you brushed your teeth? Child replies yep. The

999
00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:11,600
Speaker 1: toothbrush dry, great, sandy desert dry. That is like, that

1000
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:15,920
Speaker 1: is just the best form of parenting. Detective work when you're.

1001
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:20,279
Speaker 2: Like, just ask them exhibit like we talked about it

1002
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 2: last week. They washing their hands and Oscar just like,

1003
00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:25,759
Speaker 2: I'm like, did you wash your hands? And I saw

1004
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:28,359
Speaker 2: him walk past where to wash the hand and he's

1005
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:32,560
Speaker 2: like yep, I'm like come here. He's like oh, he

1006
00:50:32,719 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 2: takes on back to the bathroom, like just wash your hand,

1007
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:40,680
Speaker 2: you grub This one last one from Jasamine. Jasamine. She's

1008
00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:44,719
Speaker 2: written a few times. My son was drinking sorry, my

1009
00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:49,840
Speaker 2: son was drinking pepsi max no sugar when he shouldn't

1010
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 2: be smart he would crack a can and leave it

1011
00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:56,640
Speaker 2: in the fridge, occasionally drinking it. I found it, and

1012
00:50:56,680 --> 00:50:59,360
Speaker 2: he denied it. I put it back and put so

1013
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:03,719
Speaker 2: much you were powder in it, so so he'd be

1014
00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:09,120
Speaker 2: sorry when he came back for more. I love that.

1015
00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:09,880
Speaker 1: That's brilliant.

1016
00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:12,600
Speaker 2: I love it when a kid gets semi poisoned.

1017
00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:19,680
Speaker 1: Ashton Wicks. But we better get out of here. We're

1018
00:51:19,719 --> 00:51:21,560
Speaker 1: best because we have children to pick up.

1019
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 2: Oh we do.

1020
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:26,840
Speaker 1: But if you've enjoyed this episode, we would love it.

1021
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:28,920
Speaker 1: You know what I'd love to do, ash I would

1022
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 1: love to get the reviews and upper podcast Spotify, Humming

1023
00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:35,239
Speaker 1: flying reviews are coming in thick and fast where they're

1024
00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:38,120
Speaker 1: not coming in thick and fast Apple podcasts. I want

1025
00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:41,719
Speaker 1: to hit one thousand reviews at like six seven six eight.

1026
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:44,560
Speaker 1: Yeah really, I want hit a thousand.

1027
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 2: Wow.

1028
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:47,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. So if you have listened to this

1029
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:51,000
Speaker 1: episode and you've enjoyed it, I would funt if you

1030
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:52,920
Speaker 1: would give us a review and have a podcast, A

1031
00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:55,719
Speaker 1: couple of stars, a few words, I'm talking like twenty

1032
00:51:55,760 --> 00:52:00,560
Speaker 1: words or less. I'll take it.

1033
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:02,239
Speaker 2: It just reminds me of those competitions and it's like

1034
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:04,000
Speaker 2: right it tell us about yourself in twenty words or

1035
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:08,560
Speaker 2: there's are like one word ash gotcha. If you don't

1036
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:10,520
Speaker 2: want to do that, then don't know. If you want

1037
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:14,120
Speaker 2: to join us on socials, we can on Instagram Dads,

1038
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:17,960
Speaker 2: Facebook group Dads and also which I'm part of, and

1039
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:22,239
Speaker 2: also TikTok to Doting with Dands and YouTube.

1040
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,799
Speaker 1: And YouTube YouTube. Watch us on YouTube if you dare,

1041
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:28,719
Speaker 1: If you dare to watch the birthday thank you. We'll

1042
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:38,839
Speaker 1: see you guys next week. Yeah bye bye. Oh my god.

1043
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:40,840
Speaker 2: I hear as you say it in like a weird

1044
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:43,640
Speaker 2: I had a really good lunch and you're like, oh oh,

1045
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:45,320
Speaker 2: I'm on the board of that restaurant.

1046
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:50,520
Speaker 1: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country

1047
00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:54,239
Speaker 1: throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.

1048
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:57,000
Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present

1049
00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:59,799
Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres straight

1050
00:52:59,840 --> 00:53:00,920
Speaker 2: on the peoples today