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Speaker 1: It's their Happy Families podcast.

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Speaker 2: So how do you feel about secondhand gifts?

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Speaker 1: I think it really depends.

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Speaker 3: I mean, if it's for me, I'm going to be

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Speaker 3: upset about it, But if for someone else is probably

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Speaker 3: you're so bad.

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Speaker 2: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum

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Speaker 2: and dad.

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Speaker 3: Hello, this is doctor Justin Colson. I'm here with Kylie,

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Speaker 3: my wife from mum to our six kids. Kylie, have

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Speaker 3: you noticed we've been talking about Christmas for the last

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Speaker 3: week or so on the podcast. Sometimes we're really excited

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Speaker 3: about it, there's so much to look forward to, and

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Speaker 3: other times we're like, oh, so hard.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to do Christmas this year.

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Speaker 2: I have felt it for the last few years, but

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Speaker 2: I'm hearing more and more people say to me, I

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Speaker 2: just don't want to do Christmas this year. There's a

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Speaker 2: shift in how we want to do Christmas.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, nice. I like the way you've said that.

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Speaker 3: So today we're talking about gifts, budgets, how much cash

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Speaker 3: to spend, how to get it all right. We're not

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Speaker 3: financial advisers, by the way, so you can take it

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Speaker 3: or leave it, and we don't want to do.

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Speaker 1: As sort of a boring his hell to budget kind

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Speaker 1: of conversation.

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Speaker 3: But we've asked our listeners, we've brainstormed to get that,

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Speaker 3: We've talked to families and come up with six things

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Speaker 3: that can help you to do Christmas on a budget.

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Speaker 2: One of the things that was a game changer for us,

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Speaker 2: and you may have heard us talk about this before,

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Speaker 2: is we go by the four gifts of Christmas.

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Speaker 1: I always get around the wrong order you do it, and.

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Speaker 2: Well, you buy them something they want, something they need,

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Speaker 2: something to wear, and something to read. That literally, with

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Speaker 2: six kids, having a little box that I can put

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Speaker 2: gifts into in those four areas revolutionize Christmas for me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: The only trouble is sometimes when you're on a real

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Speaker 3: tide budget buying something they want, something they need, something

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Speaker 3: to wear, and something to read.

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Speaker 1: That can be expensive. That can really add up fast.

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Speaker 2: But yes it can. But depending on your budget, it

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Speaker 2: might be new undies in socks. You only get new

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Speaker 2: undies in socks at Christmas time. That's what you wear.

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Speaker 4: Well.

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Speaker 3: In fact, we were listening to Jess a little bit

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Speaker 3: earlier when we're having chat with her and she said

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Speaker 3: that's exactly what she does with her Santa sax.

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Speaker 4: But we do try to fill the Santa Sax with

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Speaker 4: things the kids need anyway for the year ahead, so

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Speaker 4: a new lunch box, on new shoes, undies, chocolates, things

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Speaker 4: we probably would have bought them anyway, and then to

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Speaker 4: save them up and put them into the Santa sac.

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Speaker 2: So in Jess's situation, it's a new lunch box and

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Speaker 2: a drink bottle.

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Speaker 3: We do the same thing the Santa Sax. There's some

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Speaker 3: fun stuff in there. There's the ginger beer and the

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Speaker 3: mango that we've already talked about, but we actually go

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Speaker 3: by the same thing, and it really it bulks out

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Speaker 3: the Christmas gift giving. The kids are like, yeah, cool,

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Speaker 3: I needed socks and undies anyway, or a lunchbox. But

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Speaker 3: it helps you to say, all right, that's taken care

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Speaker 3: of and now we don't have to worry about it

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Speaker 3: in January or February when they go back to school.

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Speaker 1: We've already bought it for Christmas.

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Speaker 2: Well, the kids get all their tailet trees in there, yes,

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Speaker 2: in their Sanda Sax, the hair tidies that I would

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Speaker 2: buy them normally, but I just store it up so

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Speaker 2: it becomes a gift.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, perfect. So that's that's one idea one of

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Speaker 3: our six ideas. The next idea I reckon it's just

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Speaker 3: important to stick to a budget. So work out how

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Speaker 3: much money you've got, and don't say, well, the credit

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Speaker 3: card max is out at five grand or ten grand

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Speaker 3: or whatever it is, because that's a bad way to

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Speaker 3: start the new year. New Year's resolution then has to

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Speaker 3: be pay off the credit card, and that's not fun.

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Speaker 1: Work out how much cash you've got.

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Speaker 2: I think it works in any situation, whether it be

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Speaker 2: the groceries or your shopping list for Christmas or whatever.

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Speaker 2: If you've got a list and you have a budget,

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Speaker 2: then you're more likely to stick to that, Whereas when

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Speaker 2: I would take you shopping, even though I knew what

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Speaker 2: the budget was and I had my shopping list, you'd

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Speaker 2: be like, Oh, we just need these chocolate chip cookies,

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Speaker 2: and we just need these as creams, and we just

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Speaker 2: need this, and all of a sudden, my budget would

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Speaker 2: blow out by fifty or seventy dollars.

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Speaker 1: I'm really bad at this, just because you.

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Speaker 2: Came along and you didn't know how to stick to

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Speaker 2: what I was trying to achieve.

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Speaker 1: I have an inhibition problem. I have a self regulation problem.

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Speaker 2: This is going to bag you out. But it's just

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Speaker 2: an acknowledgement. When we don't have a budget or we

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Speaker 2: don't have a list that we stick to, what happens

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Speaker 2: is we get caught up in the moment.

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Speaker 3: And that happens anyway. So not just with the groceries,

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Speaker 3: but every year we go through something they want, something

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Speaker 3: they need, something to wear and something to read. You

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Speaker 3: do that careful, selective gift buying, keeping it to our budget,

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Speaker 3: and then I look at the gifts. I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 3: you've done all this great gift buying, Kylie, and I

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Speaker 3: haven't done anything. And then I go down to the

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Speaker 3: shops pull out the credit.

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Speaker 2: Yes, and then I go, hang on a sec. Now,

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Speaker 2: Abby and Aler have got like major gifts, and you've

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Speaker 2: left out these two kids over here.

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Speaker 3: And I reckon, I've done it half a dozen times

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Speaker 3: over the last decade, and it always costs us and

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Speaker 3: we don't need it because you've done such thoughtful gift giving,

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Speaker 3: and I go and blow it all the time.

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Speaker 1: My impulsiveness is changing.

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Speaker 2: You know that. The other day we talked about how

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Speaker 2: being on the same page is really helpful, and you know,

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Speaker 2: sharing that cognitive load. Maybe if you and I sat

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Speaker 2: down and talked.

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Speaker 1: I know, I know, I know, I've got to do better.

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Speaker 3: Then you could go and buy some gifts because off

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Speaker 3: my list. I love to buy things and do the

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Speaker 3: giving myself. And I feel like, because you do all

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Speaker 3: of this on your own, I feel like I'm not

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Speaker 3: part of it, and therefore I haven't given it to

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Speaker 3: them you have.

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Speaker 1: It's always a surprised to me when I see what

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Speaker 1: the kids get. Let's just be.

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Speaker 2: Clear, everybody, Let's just be clear. I beg for your involvement.

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Speaker 2: I know, and I have asked, and what's your normal

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Speaker 2: response to me.

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Speaker 1: I've just got to finish this email.

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Speaker 2: I don't have the headspace.

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Speaker 1: Don't have the head space.

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Speaker 2: Just take care of it.

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Speaker 1: Do you have any idea, how much work I've got, whatever.

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Speaker 2: Whatever you want, honey, just you do it and I'll

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Speaker 2: be really grateful, all right.

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Speaker 1: So that's the second idea.

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Speaker 3: The first idea is by essentials and use them in

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Speaker 3: the Sanda sack or find other ways to give them

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Speaker 3: as part of something to wear, something they need, something

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Speaker 3: they want, something to read. I got around the wrong way,

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Speaker 3: didn't I. And the second thing is actually stick to

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Speaker 3: a budget. Work out what your budget is going to

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Speaker 3: be and stick to it. Now, this leads into it

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Speaker 3: sort of dovetails with our third.

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Speaker 2: Idea, determining who you're going to give to.

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Speaker 3: Right, So, you want to give to everybody, But if

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Speaker 3: you've only got a budget, let's say a thousand dollars

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Speaker 3: for argument's sake, you just can't give to everybody.

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Speaker 2: Well, you can, but giving looks different in different situations.

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Speaker 1: I like the way you said that. That's great.

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Speaker 2: So if you want to stick to your budget, then

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Speaker 2: you need to look at who are the most important

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Speaker 2: people in this scenario that you want to give to.

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Speaker 2: As a parent, I'm going to suggest it's going to

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Speaker 2: be your children that you want to give to.

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Speaker 1: I can't believe you didn't say me.

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Speaker 2: Oh, you're hilarious, mister. I'll just gone buy what I

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Speaker 2: want when I need it.

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Speaker 1: I don't feel like that. I get in trouble for

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Speaker 1: that all the time.

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Speaker 2: Okay, But then you've got extended family members.

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Speaker 3: Just on extended family, So there are twenty grandkids on

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Speaker 3: my parents' side, so.

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Speaker 2: That's twenty nephews and nieces.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's four to them, six.

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Speaker 3: Of them, ourse yeah, and then on your parents side,

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Speaker 3: it's fifteen which takes down to nine, So we would

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Speaker 3: be buying for twenty three nieces and nephews as well

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Speaker 3: as two sets of parents, as well as you and I,

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Speaker 3: as well.

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Speaker 1: As our six kids.

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Speaker 3: We're literally up to forty or fifty gifts or forty

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Speaker 3: or fifty people that are buying for Like that is,

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Speaker 3: it's astronomical. So when you're making the list, you kind

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Speaker 3: of need to work out. Well, in our family, our

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Speaker 3: extended families, we do like a what do you call it,

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Speaker 3: a Chris Kringle Secret Sant Santa, So the kids for

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Speaker 3: one another.

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Speaker 2: Well, in the beginning, it was the adults brought for adults,

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Speaker 2: but as we've gained more children in the family, what

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Speaker 2: we determined was that we wanted the kids to be

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Speaker 2: a part of the giving.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and the adults were all too hard to buy

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Speaker 1: for anyway.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we all decided when we want something, we get

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Speaker 2: at what we want anyway, So let's let the kids

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Speaker 2: be a part of the giving process. And that's been fantastic.

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Speaker 2: But another couple of things that I've seen other people

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Speaker 2: do is Aunties have just brought every child a T shirt.

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Speaker 2: They get a brand new T shirt from Auntie Sarah

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Speaker 2: or a brand new book.

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Speaker 1: Rachel, one of our listeners, said, this is what she does.

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Speaker 2: We also have a good understanding with extended family that

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Speaker 2: we don't buy them.

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Speaker 5: Presents and they don't buy for us.

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Speaker 2: Jess had a really good idea as well. When we're

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Speaker 2: trying to stick to a.

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Speaker 4: Budget, We've organized a system where all the siblings get

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Speaker 4: together and buy a combined present for the other siblings,

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Speaker 4: which means we can all contribute a little bit less money,

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Speaker 4: but it's still collectively a large amount of money and

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Speaker 4: we can buy a decent present.

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Speaker 3: So let's just do a quick recap on that we've

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Speaker 3: got Chris Kringle on secret stand not everybody has to

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Speaker 3: buy something for everybody. It can just be one person

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Speaker 3: buying for one other person. That way, everyone gets a

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Speaker 3: gift from the nieces, nephews, cousins, whoever it is. There's

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Speaker 3: the idea of combining funds, which we've done many times

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Speaker 3: for especially for the parents, right like for your parents

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Speaker 3: or my parents or whoever. It's really hard, So you

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Speaker 3: combine with your siblings and you can buy something really substantial,

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Speaker 3: something that's really really delightful, and still keep it within budget.

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Speaker 3: The third thing that we need to talk about is

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Speaker 3: just making the list of gifts.

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Speaker 2: Let's talk about that after the break.

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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast.

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Speaker 6: Imagine a home where discipline got results without anyone having

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Speaker 6: to feel bad or in trouble. The do's and don'ts

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Speaker 6: of discipline as a webinar to help parents set limits

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Speaker 6: with love, compassion, and humanity. Find it now at happyfamilies

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Speaker 6: dot com dot a slash shop.

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Speaker 2: It's the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast for the time

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Speaker 2: poor parent who just wants answers now. And today we're

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Speaker 2: talking about gifts. Budgeting, no gifts, That's what we're talking about,

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Speaker 2: all right. So we've got so much more exciting than budgets.

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Speaker 3: We've covered off the power of making sure that we

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Speaker 3: know who we're buying for, know how much we've got

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Speaker 3: to spend, and we're giving essentials where we can and

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Speaker 3: turning them into really fun gifts like stuff in the

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Speaker 3: Santa Sack.

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Speaker 1: But Kylie, you want to talk about how you.

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Speaker 3: Get the list of gifts right, especially when you're on

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Speaker 3: a budget.

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Speaker 2: Rachel actually had a really good idea. We use Marketplace

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Speaker 2: or gum tree to buy secondhand if needed. Our kids

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Speaker 2: know and they don't mind. So how do you feel

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Speaker 2: about secondhand gifts?

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Speaker 3: I think it really depends. I mean, if it's for me,

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Speaker 3: I'm going to be upset about it. But if someone

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Speaker 3: else is probably.

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Speaker 1: For you're so bad. I think it just depends on

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Speaker 1: what it is.

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Speaker 3: Like let's say you want to buy a bike, and

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Speaker 3: somebody wants a really nice bike, then chances are that's

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Speaker 3: going to be beyond most people's budgets. And I'd say,

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Speaker 3: if you can get yourself a really nice secondhand bike,

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Speaker 3: it's probably going to be fantastic, and you'll get it

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Speaker 3: for less than half price, like you'll save an absolute bundle.

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Speaker 3: We've got a daughter who wants Pokemon cards, and you

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Speaker 3: can buy box sets of poker. You can get the

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Speaker 3: whole lot secondhand, really really well priced on Facebook Marketplace.

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Speaker 2: So thousand cards are one hundred and fifty dollars.

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Speaker 1: Not that you want to give away too much.

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Speaker 2: You think I want a thousand cars.

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Speaker 3: No, I don't want a thousand Poken one cards in

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Speaker 3: our house either, But we've got a daughter who wants them,

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Speaker 3: So I reckon that that could be an idea. It

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Speaker 3: could be an option for some people in some circumstance.

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Speaker 3: Probably not always.

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Speaker 2: I actually probably would have really struggled with secondhand until

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Speaker 2: a few years ago. One of my friends, she's really

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Speaker 2: really conscious about the environment, and she loves buying secondhand,

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Speaker 2: and so I wanted to give her a gift. And

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Speaker 2: I thought, it's going to feel a little bit like

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Speaker 2: a slap in the face if I go and buy

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Speaker 2: her something brand new, because it's not what she usually does.

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Speaker 2: And I knew that her family wanted a soda stream

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Speaker 2: and so I got on Marketplace and somebody literally had

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Speaker 2: brought a brand new soda stream maker and realized that

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Speaker 2: they actually just didn't like it. So I decided I'd

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Speaker 2: get it. That it didn't come in a box, but

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Speaker 2: I got to wrap it up in a pretty parcel

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Speaker 2: for her and gift it to her family. And she

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Speaker 2: loved the fact that I had gone to the effort

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Speaker 2: of going secondhand.

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Speaker 3: I love how it's harder to get stuff secondhand, and

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Speaker 3: yet it made a bigger impact.

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Speaker 1: She was grateful that.

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Speaker 3: So I guess it comes down to value systems and

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Speaker 3: what people's expectations are. But secondhand is an option in

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Speaker 3: terms of making that list of gifts. You could also

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Speaker 3: go handmade, especially if you're on a budget. We've talked

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Speaker 3: about that in previous podcasts, but taking the time to

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Speaker 3: make something when you haven't got the cash to spend.

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Speaker 1: Can be really really meaningful. And something else that I

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Speaker 1: want to talk about.

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Speaker 3: Science tells us that giving experiences is much better than

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Speaker 3: giving gifts as a general rule, especially when you get

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Speaker 3: to share the experience with somebody, because you create those

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Speaker 3: memories together.

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Speaker 1: But if you can't give an experience, or.

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Speaker 3: You're not quite sure what to give, especially if you

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Speaker 3: don't know them well, some researchers have discovered that giving

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Speaker 3: a voucher is incredibly effective. People love it when they

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Speaker 3: get a voucher because then they can go and spend

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Speaker 3: the money on something that they really value and they.

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Speaker 1: Still know that you've thought of them.

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Speaker 3: Plus, if you give vouchers, you get to allow them

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Speaker 3: to take advantage of the boxing day sales and that

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Speaker 3: kind of thing. So when you're making that list of gifts,

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Speaker 3: don't discount the power of a voucher, especially for somebody

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Speaker 3: that you might not be really well acquainted with or

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Speaker 3: not sure what to get them.

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Speaker 1: Well.

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Speaker 2: Lisa had a really good point. When it comes to

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Speaker 2: gift giving.

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Speaker 5: We try and buy one good gift that we know

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Speaker 5: that they're going to use, enjoy, and we'll create an

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Speaker 5: experience for our family.

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Speaker 2: Ever since our kids were young, that has been our motto,

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Speaker 2: one hundred percent. I would rather our children get one

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Speaker 2: beautiful gift that's great quality. Might have cost us a

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Speaker 2: little bit more, but knowing that I could pass that

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Speaker 2: one down right, Yeah exactly, there were more than one

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Speaker 2: kid who was going to enjoy this.

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Speaker 3: We'll get multiple childhoods out of that one gift rather

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Speaker 3: than getting something that's going to be ruined by New

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Speaker 3: Year's Day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, totally.

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Speaker 3: So I'm with Lisa on that one quality versus quantity.

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Speaker 3: When it comes to Christmas on a budget, sometimes worth

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Speaker 3: spending a touch more even if you end up with

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Speaker 3: a little less because of the longevity of it.

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Speaker 2: And our last idea, utilizing sales and lay bys can

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Speaker 2: really help when you're trying to manage your budget at

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Speaker 2: Christmas time.

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Speaker 3: Well, we really hope that these ideas are helpful for

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Speaker 3: you if you're doing Christmas on a budget like most

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Speaker 3: of us. In fact, we've got an idea that might

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Speaker 3: help you with your Christmas on a budget in the

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Speaker 3: Happy Families dot com dot Au online store. This will

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Speaker 3: be useful for you if you're in Australia or even

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Speaker 3: It's our summits, our online programs, all of the videos

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Speaker 3: in our video library, and a.

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Speaker 1: Whole lot more.

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Speaker 3: Normally more than one thousand dollars worth there well over.

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Speaker 3: We're offering it to you in the Happy Families Shop,

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Speaker 3: no coop on required. It's literally just there as a

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Speaker 3: Dive into Happy Families dot com dot a U for

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Speaker 3: the info that.

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Speaker 1: You need about that one.

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Speaker 3: The Happy Famili's podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from

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Speaker 3: Bridge Media.

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Speaker 1: Craig Bruce is our executive producer. And if you would

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Speaker 1: like more info

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