WEBVTT - ASK UNCUT - Ctl Alt Delete your ex? Navigating fertility talk

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back, guys to another episode of Life on Cut.

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<v Speaker 2>It is Therapy Thursday, and this is our Ask Uncut edition.

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<v Speaker 2>This is where you, guys writing all your questions. Some

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<v Speaker 2>are super deep and super heavy, some are a little

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<v Speaker 2>bit more lighthearted and relatable. Either way, we can't get

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<v Speaker 2>enough of them, and we are here to help.

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<v Speaker 1>That was a good intro.

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<v Speaker 2>Admitt it.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't know where to go from there.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you really stunned me. No, I'm also getting over

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<v Speaker 2>the fact that we did try and just record another

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<v Speaker 2>intro and I just had one of those moments where

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<v Speaker 2>my brain was thinking and my mouth was doing something

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<v Speaker 2>completely different, and it happened about seven times in a row,

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<v Speaker 2>so literally it was the biggest brain fit I've ever seen. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>we may have to cool an ambulance if this continue.

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<v Speaker 2>And then also we just realized that we weren't actually

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<v Speaker 2>recording with one of the microphones, so I was legitimately

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<v Speaker 2>just talking to myself for four minutes. So you didn't

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<v Speaker 2>glance down and look at that, we would have done

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<v Speaker 2>a whole episode of you talking to yourself. That would

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<v Speaker 2>have been like a normal day in my life. That

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<v Speaker 2>is how it goes from the minute I wake up

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<v Speaker 2>to the minute I go to bed. Oh guys, we

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<v Speaker 2>look not a lot has happened in our life between

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<v Speaker 2>our last episode, because we only recorded Tuesday's episode last night.

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<v Speaker 3>Speak to yourself. I read a great article today about

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<v Speaker 3>how a man in Odaha is Odahara plays utah.

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<v Speaker 1>No, it's like Idaho.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm from Oldaha. Idaho ate one hundred and fifty seven

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<v Speaker 2>blueberries in a minute. So that was my highlight. Is

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<v Speaker 2>that a record? Yes, it's a Guinness record. This man

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<v Speaker 2>actually has multiple Guinness records. I don't know how I

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<v Speaker 2>stumbled onto this article. I reckon I who do that?

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<v Speaker 2>One hundred and fifty seven blueberries in a minute? Very's

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<v Speaker 2>a pretty small You have to eat them though. You

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<v Speaker 2>can only pick them up with one hand and eat

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<v Speaker 2>them one at a time.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh that's different.

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<v Speaker 2>I just picking them up to me into like shoving

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<v Speaker 2>my face in hoover the punnety. Oh that's different because

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<v Speaker 2>then that's more about being speeding on zalees with like

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<v Speaker 2>fine motor skills. That's what he said. He's like, it's

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<v Speaker 2>all about skill speed, so much skill to eat blueberries

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<v Speaker 2>in a minute. So yeah, look, you know what my

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<v Speaker 2>day has been wild. This guy's a blueberry farmer, isn't he. No,

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<v Speaker 2>he just lives in Odah, lives in a far off, magical,

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<v Speaker 2>made up place. I love that. Wow. Anyway, So yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>these are the people who you trust to give their

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<v Speaker 2>unqualified opinions on your problems. Thank you for coming to

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<v Speaker 2>my therapy session. Okay, and that's us out. I actually

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<v Speaker 2>have a question that someone in my life brought to

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<v Speaker 2>me today and I am going to bring it to you.

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<v Speaker 2>Are we going to bounce the person? Not? Okay? Very discreet?

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<v Speaker 1>All right?

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<v Speaker 2>Almost like okay, you have to bear with me in

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<v Speaker 2>this tall tale because I almost feel like it was

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<v Speaker 2>out of a movie. If I didn't know if someone

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<v Speaker 2>wrote this in, I would have called their bluff and

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<v Speaker 2>said no way, But they didn't. It's come from a

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<v Speaker 2>reliable source. This is my friend asking me today, and

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<v Speaker 2>it's his friend, so it's not him. He's like, look,

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<v Speaker 2>I want your opinion on this. All these guys went

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<v Speaker 2>out this big group of friends, okay, and they're all foreign,

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<v Speaker 2>they're all from overseas, they're all different travelers. But they've

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<v Speaker 2>been living here for a few years, and you know

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<v Speaker 2>what it's like. They all want to move here. Everyone

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<v Speaker 2>wants to move to Australia. He's a bit of this guy.

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<v Speaker 2>The friend's a bit of a like a player. He's

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<v Speaker 2>really smooth with the ladies. He's thirty. He sees his

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<v Speaker 2>girl at the bar with a friend young both youngish

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<v Speaker 2>looking but like at different ages. Looks cute. He goes

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<v Speaker 2>over and starts to chat them up, asks them to

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<v Speaker 2>come join the boy's table. So these two women come

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<v Speaker 2>join the table. About three quarters through the night, they

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<v Speaker 2>come to the realization that one of the girls that

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<v Speaker 2>he really likes and he's hitting on is only eighteen,

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<v Speaker 2>and the other girl is not a girl, but it

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<v Speaker 2>is in fact her mum. So this girl and her

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<v Speaker 2>mum have gone out like partying. Okay, wow, what weird.

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<v Speaker 2>What a compliment to be that mum. That's certainly not

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<v Speaker 2>gonna be me and Marley. They're gonna be like Marley

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<v Speaker 2>hanging out with her grandma again. So it gets weirder, Right,

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<v Speaker 2>He's hitting on this girl who's eleven years younger than him,

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<v Speaker 2>twelve years younger than him, big age gap. Anyway, in

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<v Speaker 2>front of her mum, and her mum's cool with it.

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<v Speaker 2>They end up going on a few dates. Wait, all

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<v Speaker 2>of them, or the young girl and the younger girl

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<v Speaker 2>and your age gapp okay, right, young girl and the

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<v Speaker 2>guy end up going on two dates. I'm sticking with

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<v Speaker 2>you with the story.

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<v Speaker 1>It's worth it. It's worth it.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm on the roller coaster. Get me there. They're on

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<v Speaker 2>this second date and for stepping out for some reason,

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<v Speaker 2>the mom has to pick them up from the date

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<v Speaker 2>and take them home. I don't know why. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know if they can't afford no bar, I don't know,

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<v Speaker 2>if they don't have their own car. She had to

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<v Speaker 2>come and pick them up. They go back to her house,

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<v Speaker 2>the eighteen year old's house. They've hooked up and stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>Keep this in mind. Then they sit down together. The

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<v Speaker 2>mom says, I have something I want to ask you.

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<v Speaker 2>I think you're great, I think you're handsome. I know

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<v Speaker 2>you want to live in Australia. I know you are

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<v Speaker 2>a good guy. I know you want permanent residency. I

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<v Speaker 2>want to have a child. I want you to be

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<v Speaker 2>the father of my child.

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<v Speaker 1>And I know I stay with me. So she's forty one.

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<v Speaker 2>She's aside she wants another child because she's single. She's

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<v Speaker 2>asking that this is a plow, not a play. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't want to say a ploye because I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>But the daughter is in on it. But if this happens,

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<v Speaker 2>If this happens and he agrees to do it, it means

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<v Speaker 2>that his son or daughter is going to be also

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<v Speaker 2>the brother to the girl he was dating.

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<v Speaker 3>This is just a very very close family. Obviously she

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<v Speaker 3>wants his sperm, like obviously she wants him to be

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<v Speaker 3>a sperm donor.

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<v Speaker 2>Like that's what this is. She's not saying I want

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<v Speaker 2>to sleep with you or anything. It's like, well, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know the specific I just said I'm into a

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<v Speaker 2>Turkey based and she it in the room next door.

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<v Speaker 2>I imagine it's sperm donor, because that's even more messed

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<v Speaker 2>up if she wants to be sleeping with her daughter

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<v Speaker 2>sleeping with But it means that his child is the

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<v Speaker 2>brother or sister to the person that he was sleeping with.

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<v Speaker 3>Which would then also end up potentially being his stepmom

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<v Speaker 3>if he married the girl. Ezachkay, I feel like there

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<v Speaker 3>is a lot of layers here.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think you're posing this. If you're posing this

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<v Speaker 2>as a question that you want me to answer, this

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<v Speaker 2>is way above my skill set. My friend said, to me,

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<v Speaker 2>what do you think he should do if he's a

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<v Speaker 2>little bit tempted to get permanent residency? And I said,

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<v Speaker 2>straight up, this doesn't give him permanent residency if she

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<v Speaker 2>has said that to him, No, having a child in

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<v Speaker 2>a country doesn't allow you to have permanent residency. I

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<v Speaker 2>held him a low idea. Yeah, it's really hard to

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<v Speaker 2>move to Australia. But I just and he asked me

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<v Speaker 2>because his friend came to him and said, what do

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<v Speaker 2>you reckon I should do?

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<v Speaker 1>He's like mine, no, I know a girl that answers question.

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<v Speaker 1>So he comes to me. He says, what do you

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<v Speaker 1>think you should do? And I was like, oh, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I've got a podcast, but this is so far above

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<v Speaker 2>our pay grade that I actually don't know how to

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<v Speaker 2>answer this. I think that there are many many crazy

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<v Speaker 2>people out there who like to do crazy things. Not

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<v Speaker 2>going to shame them. You can always ask the question,

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<v Speaker 2>and if you don't ask, you don't get I just

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<v Speaker 2>just sounded like a movie, and I was like, is

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<v Speaker 2>this actually happening? I think he'd be crazy to go

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<v Speaker 2>through it, but you know, whatever makes him happy. But

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<v Speaker 2>I once got asked, so this was this is so

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<v Speaker 2>many years ago. But when I was dating a guy

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<v Speaker 2>that I was with for six years, we lived together

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<v Speaker 2>in a little tiny bedroom studio, and his best well

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<v Speaker 2>one of his best mates, so he'd become really good

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<v Speaker 2>friends with That year prior, I was this Italian guy

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<v Speaker 2>who owned the cafe down the road that we used

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<v Speaker 2>to go to, and he had started this cafe, but

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<v Speaker 2>he was only on like a student working visa. It

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<v Speaker 2>was all very dodgy.

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<v Speaker 3>Anyway, came to a point where he had very limited

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<v Speaker 3>time left on his visa and hadn't sorted out another

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<v Speaker 3>option to stay, and this Italian guy had approached my

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<v Speaker 3>ex boyfriend. Funnily enough that he's my ex.

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<v Speaker 2>I'd approached my ex boyfriend at the time and was like, Hey,

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<v Speaker 2>how would you feel if I pay you a certain

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<v Speaker 2>amount of money and I marry Laura to get permanent residency.

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<v Speaker 2>And my boyfriend came to me and proposed. The question

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<v Speaker 2>was like, so this is what we're thinking, how do

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<v Speaker 2>you feel about this? And I was like, not.

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<v Speaker 1>Good, not good. It reminds me of.

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<v Speaker 2>A time I had to fight off people that were

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<v Speaker 2>trying to buy my sister in Morocco for like twenty chickens.

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<v Speaker 1>Because she's blonde and beautiful.

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<v Speaker 2>They're like, yeah, twenty chickens, three camels, and I was

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<v Speaker 2>like no, They're like, fine, we'll throw it a document.

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<v Speaker 2>She has at least seventeen camels and some sort of

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<v Speaker 2>outpack up. I was like, does this girl look like

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<v Speaker 2>five camel girl? No, she's a twenty five camel girl.

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<v Speaker 2>We've obviously never been in a situation where we want

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<v Speaker 2>to stay in a country that we aren't entitled to

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<v Speaker 2>stay at, or it's you know, we're not able to

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<v Speaker 2>stay at, so I can understand the desperation for it.

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<v Speaker 2>And maybe this woman thinks that he's at a point

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<v Speaker 2>or he's desperate enough to give her something that she's after.

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<v Speaker 2>And I mean, there is obviously a very unusually close

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<v Speaker 2>relationship between her and her daughter, But everyone's different and

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<v Speaker 2>different strokes with different folks. I'm not gonna judge, but

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<v Speaker 2>I'm also not going to touch that one with ten

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<v Speaker 2>foot poll. No. I legitimately just wanted to share it

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<v Speaker 2>because I thought it was a crazy story. But anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>let's jump into some real question. As always, every week,

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<v Speaker 2>you send in your questions, Britt and I will actually

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<v Speaker 2>mostly Brit picks out her favorites. I've picked out a

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<v Speaker 2>couple today though, so you know, hold on to your

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<v Speaker 2>panties and we do our absolute best to answer them.

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<v Speaker 2>And this one has just come through, so I'm going

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<v Speaker 2>to jump in first. Hey, guys, love the podcast not

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<v Speaker 2>a necessary part of this question. I really wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>throw that in.

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<v Speaker 3>I want your opinion on when am I supposed to

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<v Speaker 3>delete photos from a past relationship. I'm twenty six and

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<v Speaker 3>had a fairly amicable breakup with a boyfriend of four

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<v Speaker 3>years about a year ago. We are still occasionally in contact.

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<v Speaker 3>We send a message here and there to keep in

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<v Speaker 3>touch with one another, but from my side, there are

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<v Speaker 3>definitely no romantic feelings left and we most definitely will

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<v Speaker 3>not be getting back together. My problem is because he

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<v Speaker 3>never wronged me in any way.

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<v Speaker 2>We just grew apart. I still cherish our memories together.

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<v Speaker 2>So what do I do with all the photos together

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<v Speaker 2>on my phone and on Instagram, especially if I get

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<v Speaker 2>a new partner in the future. Help. I feel very

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<v Speaker 2>strongly about this that I don't think anyone ever needs

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<v Speaker 2>to delete or why wipe out a part of their life.

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<v Speaker 2>I think that especially because she has say but she's

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<v Speaker 2>especially because she has said it ended amicably. They're on

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<v Speaker 2>good terms, she's got no romantic feelings for him. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't see why you need to delete those photos if

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<v Speaker 2>it's not hurting you to look at and you're you're

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<v Speaker 2>looking back on that memory fondly. I think it's okay,

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<v Speaker 2>because what it comes down to is this person was

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<v Speaker 2>a large chapter of your life. You had a lot

0:10:24.360 --> 0:10:26.280
<v Speaker 2>of memories with them, You probably went through a lot

0:10:26.320 --> 0:10:28.600
<v Speaker 2>with them, you experienced a lot from them, you learned

0:10:28.600 --> 0:10:31.319
<v Speaker 2>a lot from them, And I feel like it's wiping

0:10:31.360 --> 0:10:33.960
<v Speaker 2>out a whole section of your life that I don't

0:10:33.960 --> 0:10:39.200
<v Speaker 2>think you need to do. I love the fact that

0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:44.840
<v Speaker 2>I have found photographs of my mom's ex boyfriends when

0:10:44.880 --> 0:10:46.840
<v Speaker 2>she was like seventeen, eighteen nineteen. She just has like

0:10:46.840 --> 0:10:48.280
<v Speaker 2>a boy you know, when you're young and you kept

0:10:48.320 --> 0:10:49.920
<v Speaker 2>all your photos in a shoe box. She's got a

0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:50.440
<v Speaker 2>burn box.

0:10:51.280 --> 0:10:52.920
<v Speaker 1>But I'm so an even dad.

0:10:53.000 --> 0:10:54.440
<v Speaker 2>Dad was like, oh what was his name again?

0:10:54.480 --> 0:10:55.600
<v Speaker 1>You know, like I'm.

0:10:55.440 --> 0:10:57.240
<v Speaker 2>Fascinated by it. And I was like, Mum, you dated

0:10:57.240 --> 0:10:59.240
<v Speaker 2>this guy, like this is your life before Dad, And

0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:01.439
<v Speaker 2>she's like, yeah, used to do this, and it was

0:11:01.520 --> 0:11:03.600
<v Speaker 2>just it's really nice to see that it's a part

0:11:03.640 --> 0:11:06.240
<v Speaker 2>of someone's life because it is it helps shape who

0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:09.319
<v Speaker 2>you are. I think that if it's been a really,

0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:13.400
<v Speaker 2>really bad ending and when you look at these photos,

0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:16.080
<v Speaker 2>it gives you these really negative feelings and it brings

0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:18.679
<v Speaker 2>you down and it reminds you of bad times, sure

0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:22.439
<v Speaker 2>wipe that shit. But no, I don't think that even

0:11:22.480 --> 0:11:24.200
<v Speaker 2>if you meet someone new, you need to delete those

0:11:24.240 --> 0:11:26.840
<v Speaker 2>photos at all. I totally agree with you, Britt. The

0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:28.520
<v Speaker 2>only thing that I would say to kind of elaborate

0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:31.840
<v Speaker 2>on that is if you have photos on your Instagram

0:11:31.880 --> 0:11:35.319
<v Speaker 2>which are extremely cuply I you're making out with each

0:11:35.360 --> 0:11:37.839
<v Speaker 2>other or like, I don't know, just say, oh my god,

0:11:37.840 --> 0:11:39.560
<v Speaker 2>I love You're never gonna love anybody like I love you.

0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:43.199
<v Speaker 2>If you're someone who really proclaims their love of public,

0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:46.160
<v Speaker 2>if you're someone who really proclaims their love on social media,

0:11:46.240 --> 0:11:48.079
<v Speaker 2>then maybe there are a few that you might want

0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:52.800
<v Speaker 2>to curate and remove, you know, purely because it might

0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:55.160
<v Speaker 2>make a future partner feel jealous. But you know, it's

0:11:55.200 --> 0:11:57.080
<v Speaker 2>not a necessity. It's definitely not something that you have

0:11:57.120 --> 0:12:00.319
<v Speaker 2>to do. And I am exactly in the same thought

0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:03.320
<v Speaker 2>as I'm exactly in the same boat and way of

0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:05.920
<v Speaker 2>thinking as brit that you know, these people are a

0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:07.800
<v Speaker 2>part of your life, They're a part of your identity,

0:12:08.000 --> 0:12:09.720
<v Speaker 2>they're a part of your history, and you don't have

0:12:09.800 --> 0:12:12.880
<v Speaker 2>to absolutely scrap and totally clean the slate for every

0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:15.360
<v Speaker 2>new person that comes along. I mean, I have photos

0:12:15.360 --> 0:12:17.600
<v Speaker 2>of my ex boyfriends on Facebook. I mean I don't

0:12:17.600 --> 0:12:19.760
<v Speaker 2>really use Facebook that much anymore, but I have photos

0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:21.640
<v Speaker 2>of them, like they're all there if I ever want

0:12:21.679 --> 0:12:23.560
<v Speaker 2>to go back and look at them, because I would

0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:27.880
<v Speaker 2>hate to completely remove fifteen years of my life that

0:12:27.960 --> 0:12:29.280
<v Speaker 2>I've shared and that have shaped me.

0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:33.000
<v Speaker 3>But in saying that, there are some relationships who I

0:12:33.160 --> 0:12:37.120
<v Speaker 3>still have some resentment towards the person because of the

0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:39.400
<v Speaker 3>way that they treated me and because the way that

0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:42.959
<v Speaker 3>things ended, And they're people who I don't really want

0:12:42.960 --> 0:12:45.320
<v Speaker 3>to remember. They're photos I don't want to reflect on,

0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:48.320
<v Speaker 3>and they're not memories that make me feel happy because

0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:50.600
<v Speaker 3>of you know, even though of course there were great

0:12:50.600 --> 0:12:54.240
<v Speaker 3>times in our relationship, it was very much clouded by the.

0:12:54.200 --> 0:12:56.520
<v Speaker 2>Toxicity that was going on. So for my own mental health,

0:12:56.520 --> 0:12:58.800
<v Speaker 2>they're the ones that I delete and remove entirely. But

0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:01.520
<v Speaker 2>I think it's been a year. Everyone expects you to

0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:04.400
<v Speaker 2>have history everyone expects you to have a past. Any

0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:07.640
<v Speaker 2>new partner who finds that intimidating has some issues of

0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:10.480
<v Speaker 2>themselves to deal with. So I think it's totally fine

0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:12.760
<v Speaker 2>to keep photos of your X on your Instagram. Yeah,

0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:15.400
<v Speaker 2>for an example. Actually, I was just thinking about this

0:13:15.440 --> 0:13:18.200
<v Speaker 2>as you were saying that my partner of eight years

0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:21.480
<v Speaker 2>we ended. I've said that before. We ended really well,

0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:24.679
<v Speaker 2>we just grew apart and nothing happened. Were amicable. When

0:13:24.720 --> 0:13:27.720
<v Speaker 2>I moved on to my only other real relationship. He

0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:32.040
<v Speaker 2>was the sociopath. I remember him saying, delete every single

0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:33.840
<v Speaker 2>photo of him. Delete it. I don't want to see it,

0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:35.560
<v Speaker 2>don't know about it, I shouldn't have to see it.

0:13:35.600 --> 0:13:39.640
<v Speaker 2>And I thank the Lord. I was at a young age,

0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:41.760
<v Speaker 2>vulnerable age, but I was strong enough to say, well,

0:13:41.800 --> 0:13:44.200
<v Speaker 2>hang on, no, I don't want to do that, because

0:13:44.200 --> 0:13:46.480
<v Speaker 2>he was really pushing me to delete them. And this

0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:48.480
<v Speaker 2>was back when like don't you don't have a backup,

0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:51.000
<v Speaker 2>you don't have like hard drives and things. Back then,

0:13:51.040 --> 0:13:52.840
<v Speaker 2>it was just like stef on. If I deleted those,

0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:55.520
<v Speaker 2>it would have lost them forever. He wanted me to

0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:59.240
<v Speaker 2>wipe out eight years, my whole teenage life into my

0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:01.880
<v Speaker 2>early twenties of I was with this guy every day.

0:14:01.920 --> 0:14:03.760
<v Speaker 2>We did so much together. We traveled the world, we

0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:05.880
<v Speaker 2>moved cities, we bought houses, and he wanted me to

0:14:05.920 --> 0:14:10.199
<v Speaker 2>wipe that. I said no. He finally got on board,

0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:12.440
<v Speaker 2>and what it ended up happening was two years later

0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:14.920
<v Speaker 2>when I found he was a psycho, I wiped him.

0:14:14.960 --> 0:14:18.200
<v Speaker 2>I deleted like everything of him because he brought me

0:14:18.240 --> 0:14:21.360
<v Speaker 2>nothing but pain, whereas the first relationship brought me nothing

0:14:21.400 --> 0:14:24.440
<v Speaker 2>but like fond, amazing memories. So I think this is

0:14:24.640 --> 0:14:26.000
<v Speaker 2>a really important lesson in that.

0:14:26.120 --> 0:14:28.720
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and it's a reflection of insecurity if somebody is

0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:31.000
<v Speaker 3>making you remove a whole chunk of your past.

0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:31.720
<v Speaker 2>I think.

0:14:31.800 --> 0:14:33.680
<v Speaker 3>I do think that it's important to kind of draw

0:14:33.720 --> 0:14:36.840
<v Speaker 3>a line in the sand with like photos that are provocative,

0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:41.080
<v Speaker 3>though like, for example, I don't want to see photos

0:14:41.120 --> 0:14:44.400
<v Speaker 3>in Matt's phone of his ex girlfriend topless, not interested.

0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:47.000
<v Speaker 3>Delete them, put them somewhere where I'm never going to

0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:49.640
<v Speaker 3>see them, Put them somewhere away, hopefully you're never going

0:14:49.680 --> 0:14:50.120
<v Speaker 3>to see them.

0:14:50.200 --> 0:14:52.400
<v Speaker 2>No, that sort of stuff. I think that there are

0:14:52.520 --> 0:14:55.160
<v Speaker 2>definitely some things that, out of respect for your partner

0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:58.560
<v Speaker 2>and respect for your current relationship, you definitely would delete

0:14:58.560 --> 0:15:00.440
<v Speaker 2>from your phone. But if it's just photo of your

0:15:00.480 --> 0:15:04.600
<v Speaker 2>past and photos of you together, then like that's so fine.

0:15:04.840 --> 0:15:08.040
<v Speaker 2>Question number two. I just want to say that I

0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:10.960
<v Speaker 2>also agree with that. I don't mean like, keep topless photos, dude,

0:15:11.000 --> 0:15:12.000
<v Speaker 2>that's Shit's not cool.

0:15:12.120 --> 0:15:14.040
<v Speaker 1>I mean like, here we are at the Eiffel Tower.

0:15:14.280 --> 0:15:16.520
<v Speaker 2>Here we are in front of our photo, like there's

0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:18.760
<v Speaker 2>no there's no need. I mean, like, I think that

0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:21.800
<v Speaker 2>a lot of people might keep a random photo by accident,

0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:24.320
<v Speaker 2>Like it's that's totally excusable behavior.

0:15:24.640 --> 0:15:26.880
<v Speaker 3>But if you're like partner has a folder of photos

0:15:26.880 --> 0:15:29.920
<v Speaker 3>of their ex girlfriend. Okay, so this is my story, so.

0:15:32.080 --> 0:15:34.880
<v Speaker 2>Tell me so the guy who I deleted from my

0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:37.800
<v Speaker 2>life entirely, who I said that my whole relationship was

0:15:37.960 --> 0:15:42.000
<v Speaker 2>shrouded in toxicity. We had broken up, gotten back together.

0:15:42.000 --> 0:15:45.000
<v Speaker 2>I've talked about him loads on this podcast. We were

0:15:45.040 --> 0:15:48.600
<v Speaker 2>away in Bali after just getting back together for like

0:15:48.720 --> 0:15:52.000
<v Speaker 2>the seventh time in a year, so ridiculous. We've gone

0:15:52.040 --> 0:15:54.400
<v Speaker 2>to Bali as a holiday together. I had found out

0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:57.320
<v Speaker 2>that he cheated on me. I had forgiven him, we had.

0:15:57.200 --> 0:16:00.240
<v Speaker 3>Decided to start again fresh, and I had said to him,

0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:02.720
<v Speaker 3>I was like, if there is because he was a

0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:07.320
<v Speaker 3>compulsive sexter, basically, he would so he would use different

0:16:07.360 --> 0:16:11.680
<v Speaker 3>like social networking platforms, so he for example, Viba used

0:16:11.680 --> 0:16:13.160
<v Speaker 3>to be a big thing a while back, and obviously

0:16:13.200 --> 0:16:15.720
<v Speaker 3>it was texting, but you could get in contact with

0:16:15.760 --> 0:16:18.520
<v Speaker 3>people who weren't necessarily in your core contact, so you

0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:22.200
<v Speaker 3>could be contacting strangers. And I found him sexting a.

0:16:22.120 --> 0:16:24.040
<v Speaker 2>Whole lot of girls from Viber and I saw all

0:16:24.040 --> 0:16:26.600
<v Speaker 2>the messages and I saw all the photos, and anyway,

0:16:26.640 --> 0:16:27.400
<v Speaker 2>I forgave him.

0:16:27.680 --> 0:16:30.320
<v Speaker 3>We decided to go to Bali on holiday to kind

0:16:30.320 --> 0:16:33.800
<v Speaker 3>of refix our relationship, rekindle things, get back to a

0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:36.080
<v Speaker 3>good place. And when we were over there, I'd said

0:16:36.080 --> 0:16:38.920
<v Speaker 3>to him, if there is anything in your phone, anything,

0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:40.680
<v Speaker 3>And this is the time when I was crazy and

0:16:40.680 --> 0:16:42.080
<v Speaker 3>I used to go through his phone. I was like,

0:16:42.120 --> 0:16:44.600
<v Speaker 3>if there's anything in your phone at all that's incriminating,

0:16:44.960 --> 0:16:47.320
<v Speaker 3>this is your opportunity to do a deep dive and

0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:49.800
<v Speaker 3>delete it. I was like, I'm giving you three hours,

0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:52.800
<v Speaker 3>go go right back to the beginning of time.

0:16:53.080 --> 0:16:56.960
<v Speaker 2>Guy, like, do it. Anyway, So I had given him

0:16:57.000 --> 0:16:59.560
<v Speaker 2>that opportunity, Like you know, we had had a really

0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:01.960
<v Speaker 2>beautiful week and then I was laying on the beach

0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:05.040
<v Speaker 2>reading an article on my phone, and there was this

0:17:05.359 --> 0:17:08.080
<v Speaker 2>article that was about and it literally just came up.

0:17:08.080 --> 0:17:12.359
<v Speaker 2>This was totally serendipitous, and it was about this calculator

0:17:12.400 --> 0:17:15.159
<v Speaker 2>which is a fake app. Basically, it looks like a calculator.

0:17:15.240 --> 0:17:18.119
<v Speaker 2>It's called Calculator Plus and it looks like a calculator.

0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:19.800
<v Speaker 2>But what you do is you open it. You can

0:17:19.880 --> 0:17:22.520
<v Speaker 2>use it like a normal calculator, or if you know

0:17:22.720 --> 0:17:25.600
<v Speaker 2>that it's a fake app, you type in a certain

0:17:25.640 --> 0:17:29.000
<v Speaker 2>code and it opens up a photo vault. Shut the

0:17:29.119 --> 0:17:32.280
<v Speaker 2>front door. I swear on my life, the door is

0:17:32.520 --> 0:17:33.679
<v Speaker 2>why fucking open?

0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:34.440
<v Speaker 1>What the heck?

0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:38.080
<v Speaker 2>I have never heard of that. Yeah, so calculator Plus

0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:40.480
<v Speaker 2>and I just had this feeling. I was like, that's

0:17:40.480 --> 0:17:44.960
<v Speaker 2>something that this sleazy little fucker would do. My ex

0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:47.280
<v Speaker 2>boyfriend just told me he really liked mathematics. It all

0:17:47.359 --> 0:17:50.800
<v Speaker 2>makes sense now. I was like, I bet you. Because

0:17:50.800 --> 0:17:52.760
<v Speaker 2>he was so good at lying, he was so good

0:17:52.800 --> 0:17:55.720
<v Speaker 2>at hiding stuff. I was like, I bet you he

0:17:55.800 --> 0:17:58.399
<v Speaker 2>has this. And we had an open phone policy, so

0:17:58.440 --> 0:18:00.399
<v Speaker 2>I was like, hey, babe, pass me your phone. So

0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:02.600
<v Speaker 2>he passed me his phone and I of course he did,

0:18:02.640 --> 0:18:04.040
<v Speaker 2>because you had a secret calculator app.

0:18:04.119 --> 0:18:06.120
<v Speaker 3>And I was like, okay, so let's talk about this

0:18:06.200 --> 0:18:08.240
<v Speaker 3>app that clearly has all your photos hidden and it

0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:10.560
<v Speaker 3>put your password in and he wouldn't do it.

0:18:10.600 --> 0:18:15.600
<v Speaker 2>He refused, Oh my god, Laura, and stupidly like, I

0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:17.600
<v Speaker 2>hate myself in saying this because we stayed together for

0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:21.160
<v Speaker 2>quite a while after that, even after that, after another time,

0:18:21.280 --> 0:18:23.879
<v Speaker 2>you always give me a hard time about my redflower. Dude,

0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:26.920
<v Speaker 2>I lert my lessons hardcore with this guy. But yeah,

0:18:27.000 --> 0:18:29.080
<v Speaker 2>like so I think that you know, there are some

0:18:29.160 --> 0:18:32.040
<v Speaker 2>people that hold onto these things as trophies. They hold

0:18:32.040 --> 0:18:35.440
<v Speaker 2>onto these things as reminders, and personally, I don't think

0:18:35.480 --> 0:18:38.160
<v Speaker 2>that you should hold onto nude photos of your ex. God, no,

0:18:38.480 --> 0:18:38.800
<v Speaker 2>I don't.

0:18:38.920 --> 0:18:39.600
<v Speaker 1>That's anyone.

0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:42.560
<v Speaker 2>No one should be doing that. Good. I'm glad. I'm glad.

0:18:42.600 --> 0:18:43.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm not crazy.

0:18:43.359 --> 0:18:47.520
<v Speaker 2>Thank you for validating. Was a really long story, and

0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:50.600
<v Speaker 2>that really brought up some suppressed trauma. And everyone, go

0:18:50.640 --> 0:18:55.199
<v Speaker 2>and check your partners for calculators Calculative plus guys. I

0:18:55.240 --> 0:18:57.080
<v Speaker 2>hope that doesn't blow some shit out of the water

0:18:57.160 --> 0:18:58.840
<v Speaker 2>for you all. I'm mind blown. I thought I would

0:18:58.840 --> 0:19:00.560
<v Speaker 2>have not. I thought I knew everything about that stuff.

0:19:00.600 --> 0:19:02.280
<v Speaker 2>I thought I had told you every story I had

0:19:02.280 --> 0:19:04.280
<v Speaker 2>in the bank. Now there's another one. I reckon, there's

0:19:04.320 --> 0:19:06.480
<v Speaker 2>so many still that you've just buried. It will slowly

0:19:06.560 --> 0:19:09.480
<v Speaker 2>come out me too, slowly as the trauma bills more things.

0:19:09.480 --> 0:19:11.760
<v Speaker 2>It's like suppressed memories going to a therapist. I start

0:19:11.800 --> 0:19:14.360
<v Speaker 2>talking about my childhood. All right, okay, question number two.

0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:17.840
<v Speaker 2>All right, ladies, I have a real doozy for you,

0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:20.200
<v Speaker 2>real pickle dick. Yeah, and it is. This one's a

0:19:20.240 --> 0:19:21.000
<v Speaker 2>pickle dick.

0:19:21.320 --> 0:19:23.640
<v Speaker 1>Oh see what I did there?

0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:27.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? Thanks? It was strong, it was yeah deep, yeah,

0:19:27.200 --> 0:19:31.600
<v Speaker 2>thanks my boyfriend and I was right into the sunset. Brittany.

0:19:32.400 --> 0:19:37.720
<v Speaker 2>It was just a pun. Get excited, be my cheer girl.

0:19:38.480 --> 0:19:40.520
<v Speaker 2>My boyfriend and I have been together for two point

0:19:40.520 --> 0:19:43.800
<v Speaker 2>five years. Also, for the past six to nine months,

0:19:43.840 --> 0:19:46.080
<v Speaker 2>I have been feeling that this relationship just isn't right.

0:19:46.320 --> 0:19:49.040
<v Speaker 2>I finally had the perfect excuse to end it. He

0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:52.359
<v Speaker 2>majorly fucked up. It ended in a huge argument, and

0:19:52.400 --> 0:19:57.000
<v Speaker 2>I was so relieved that I finally had an out. Anyway,

0:19:57.200 --> 0:20:00.199
<v Speaker 2>a few weeks later, I got very sick, and what

0:20:00.280 --> 0:20:04.800
<v Speaker 2>do you know, I'm prego prego, and the ego I

0:20:04.960 --> 0:20:07.600
<v Speaker 2>just thought, all right, I'm pregnant. I'll just give this

0:20:07.640 --> 0:20:11.440
<v Speaker 2>guy a chance to see if his behavior changes. Maybe

0:20:11.480 --> 0:20:14.000
<v Speaker 2>he'll grow up and act like a contributing member of

0:20:14.040 --> 0:20:17.119
<v Speaker 2>our team slash relationship. One reason I had been so

0:20:17.240 --> 0:20:19.520
<v Speaker 2>unhappy in our relationship was because I felt like we

0:20:19.520 --> 0:20:22.080
<v Speaker 2>weren't on the same page. I was desperate for kids

0:20:22.080 --> 0:20:24.399
<v Speaker 2>and to start a real life together, and he seemed

0:20:24.400 --> 0:20:27.720
<v Speaker 2>perfectly happy to just continue on our way, not progressing

0:20:27.760 --> 0:20:30.960
<v Speaker 2>the relationship at all. So I told him about the

0:20:31.000 --> 0:20:34.240
<v Speaker 2>impending baby growing and he was shocked, but he was

0:20:34.240 --> 0:20:37.399
<v Speaker 2>also really happy that we were back together. Things were

0:20:37.400 --> 0:20:40.720
<v Speaker 2>great again for a few weeks, and now here we are.

0:20:41.480 --> 0:20:43.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm nearly twelve weeks pregnant, and he has gone straight

0:20:43.760 --> 0:20:46.720
<v Speaker 2>back to being selfish and in considerate, basically exactly how

0:20:46.760 --> 0:20:49.439
<v Speaker 2>he was before I broke the news. I'm keen to

0:20:49.440 --> 0:20:51.600
<v Speaker 2>tell our parents and our close family members, Yet he

0:20:51.600 --> 0:20:53.800
<v Speaker 2>doesn't really even acknowledge the fact that I'm pregnant, and

0:20:53.800 --> 0:20:55.399
<v Speaker 2>he doesn't want to talk about it with anyone. He

0:20:55.400 --> 0:20:57.639
<v Speaker 2>doesn't want to tell anyone. I get the feeling like

0:20:57.720 --> 0:21:00.760
<v Speaker 2>he really isn't into it, and I feel like he

0:21:00.800 --> 0:21:03.240
<v Speaker 2>thinks I'm just a convenient person to have around. We're

0:21:03.240 --> 0:21:05.399
<v Speaker 2>both from families where our parents are still together and

0:21:05.440 --> 0:21:08.359
<v Speaker 2>our siblings have all been married before having children and

0:21:08.440 --> 0:21:12.040
<v Speaker 2>done things the right way. I'm feeling very much. I'm

0:21:12.080 --> 0:21:15.159
<v Speaker 2>just gonna chime in, there's no right way babies to

0:21:15.240 --> 0:21:17.720
<v Speaker 2>get married, whatever the fuck you want to. I'm feeling

0:21:17.840 --> 0:21:19.960
<v Speaker 2>very much like we should not be together. But I

0:21:20.080 --> 0:21:23.639
<v Speaker 2>one hundred percent of keeping this baby. But also I

0:21:23.640 --> 0:21:26.280
<v Speaker 2>don't want to be a single parent either. He really

0:21:26.359 --> 0:21:29.080
<v Speaker 2>is a great guy, deep down. He's from a beautiful family.

0:21:29.160 --> 0:21:30.439
<v Speaker 2>He just acts like a child.

0:21:30.840 --> 0:21:31.240
<v Speaker 1>Literally.

0:21:31.240 --> 0:21:33.040
<v Speaker 2>His mother cooks for him, she cleans the room, she

0:21:33.080 --> 0:21:36.320
<v Speaker 2>does his watching. He just expects it and he loves it,

0:21:36.359 --> 0:21:39.080
<v Speaker 2>and he doesn't want anything different. I just don't know

0:21:39.080 --> 0:21:41.159
<v Speaker 2>what to do. I'm feeling very lost and alone at

0:21:41.160 --> 0:21:43.520
<v Speaker 2>the moment because I haven't told anyone about this pregnancy

0:21:43.560 --> 0:21:48.160
<v Speaker 2>yet either. Any advice helps. What the hell do I do? Oh?

0:21:48.240 --> 0:21:51.600
<v Speaker 3>Man, this is so hard. This is an awful situation

0:21:51.760 --> 0:21:56.800
<v Speaker 3>to be in. But I think, ooh, okay, let's summa.

0:21:57.080 --> 0:21:59.480
<v Speaker 3>There's a few things here, And the first thing that

0:21:59.520 --> 0:22:02.679
<v Speaker 3>stands out to me is that if you've made the

0:22:02.720 --> 0:22:05.280
<v Speaker 3>decision one hundred percent that you want to have this baby,

0:22:05.480 --> 0:22:08.000
<v Speaker 3>there is definitely a part of that where you need

0:22:08.040 --> 0:22:10.880
<v Speaker 3>to also make that decision that there is a good

0:22:10.960 --> 0:22:13.000
<v Speaker 3>chance that you'll be doing on your own. I think

0:22:13.040 --> 0:22:16.840
<v Speaker 3>that like regardless, like, having a partner is not a guarantee,

0:22:17.359 --> 0:22:19.720
<v Speaker 3>you need to have a child because you are happy

0:22:19.800 --> 0:22:21.840
<v Speaker 3>to be a parent and bring that child up regardless

0:22:21.840 --> 0:22:24.280
<v Speaker 3>of the situation, regardless of whether or not your partner

0:22:24.359 --> 0:22:26.920
<v Speaker 3>is fully checked in or fully checked out. The other

0:22:26.960 --> 0:22:29.199
<v Speaker 3>thing I want to say is if your relationship is

0:22:29.240 --> 0:22:32.359
<v Speaker 3>really hard now before you've had a baby, your relationship

0:22:32.359 --> 0:22:35.040
<v Speaker 3>once you had that baby is going to be even harder.

0:22:35.119 --> 0:22:42.000
<v Speaker 3>Because children are like they put relationships under a microscope

0:22:42.040 --> 0:22:44.439
<v Speaker 3>and they really like it's like a pressure cookery.

0:22:44.480 --> 0:22:48.000
<v Speaker 2>They amplify everything. They amplify the good bits, they amplify

0:22:48.080 --> 0:22:51.240
<v Speaker 2>the they amplify the love, they amplify the wonderful bits,

0:22:51.240 --> 0:22:53.840
<v Speaker 2>but they also amplify all the bits that drive you

0:22:53.920 --> 0:22:57.439
<v Speaker 2>crazy about your partner. They really bring out the best

0:22:57.480 --> 0:23:00.080
<v Speaker 2>and the worst in each other. And so if you

0:23:00.160 --> 0:23:02.119
<v Speaker 2>are already at a point where you don't think that

0:23:02.160 --> 0:23:04.520
<v Speaker 2>you can be with this person, if you're already at

0:23:04.520 --> 0:23:07.520
<v Speaker 2>a point where this person doesn't support you, doesn't treat

0:23:07.560 --> 0:23:10.480
<v Speaker 2>either way that you deserve to be treated. Then he's

0:23:10.520 --> 0:23:13.160
<v Speaker 2>not going to change necessarily just because there's a child

0:23:13.240 --> 0:23:15.639
<v Speaker 2>in the room. If anything, I think that there's a

0:23:15.680 --> 0:23:17.919
<v Speaker 2>good chance that it'll be worse, not better once this

0:23:17.960 --> 0:23:21.360
<v Speaker 2>baby comes along. Yeah, this is a really, really tough one.

0:23:21.359 --> 0:23:24.520
<v Speaker 2>And I do feel for you because it sounds like

0:23:24.640 --> 0:23:26.680
<v Speaker 2>you've wanted the child for a long time and I'm

0:23:26.720 --> 0:23:29.760
<v Speaker 2>super congrats, happy for you. Like Laura said, just to

0:23:29.880 --> 0:23:34.520
<v Speaker 2>sort of just to extend that a little bit if

0:23:34.560 --> 0:23:38.000
<v Speaker 2>you're having this baby, because you hope that in any

0:23:38.000 --> 0:23:39.520
<v Speaker 2>way it's a band aid and then it's going to

0:23:39.560 --> 0:23:42.840
<v Speaker 2>help fix what your your relationship. Like Laura said, it's not.

0:23:42.960 --> 0:23:45.879
<v Speaker 2>Babies are never band aids. They, like Lauria said, they

0:23:45.880 --> 0:23:51.000
<v Speaker 2>amplify problems. It's very stressful, you're always tired. It's not

0:23:51.040 --> 0:23:53.800
<v Speaker 2>going to be like going on a holiday and renewing

0:23:53.880 --> 0:23:56.720
<v Speaker 2>your relationship. What I do want to say is, and

0:23:56.800 --> 0:23:59.679
<v Speaker 2>I am perpetually the optimistic. I do want to try

0:23:59.680 --> 0:24:03.280
<v Speaker 2>and see best in most situations. But I have seen

0:24:03.280 --> 0:24:05.760
<v Speaker 2>it before in people's in my life and my friends

0:24:05.760 --> 0:24:09.159
<v Speaker 2>that I know have been in similar situations. When you

0:24:09.200 --> 0:24:12.320
<v Speaker 2>have a child, it can change people. It can Finally,

0:24:13.000 --> 0:24:16.040
<v Speaker 2>this might actually be what it takes once the baby's

0:24:16.040 --> 0:24:19.000
<v Speaker 2>here for him to pull his finger out and take

0:24:19.040 --> 0:24:21.640
<v Speaker 2>some responsibility and step up to the plate. This may

0:24:21.800 --> 0:24:24.760
<v Speaker 2>there's a chance he's like, Okay, shit, I love this

0:24:24.880 --> 0:24:27.919
<v Speaker 2>new human being fiercely, and I'm going to step up

0:24:27.960 --> 0:24:29.920
<v Speaker 2>and be here for you and the child. There's also

0:24:29.960 --> 0:24:32.320
<v Speaker 2>a huge chance he runs through the hills because it

0:24:32.400 --> 0:24:35.200
<v Speaker 2>sounds like responsibility is not his forte.

0:24:35.359 --> 0:24:38.399
<v Speaker 3>Yes, there is always a chance. There's always gray and

0:24:38.520 --> 0:24:41.600
<v Speaker 3>variables to the entire spectrum of this situation, and there

0:24:41.640 --> 0:24:43.159
<v Speaker 3>is a chance that he will step up and be

0:24:43.240 --> 0:24:45.479
<v Speaker 3>a great dad. Does that mean that he'll step up

0:24:45.480 --> 0:24:47.760
<v Speaker 3>and be a great partner? Not necessarily.

0:24:47.800 --> 0:24:52.640
<v Speaker 2>If he's never proven it before, then I doubt very

0:24:52.720 --> 0:24:55.600
<v Speaker 2>strongly that he's going to just have a full on

0:24:55.600 --> 0:24:58.000
<v Speaker 2>point eighty flip and turn into the person that you

0:24:58.040 --> 0:24:59.919
<v Speaker 2>want him to be. There will have to be some

0:25:00.160 --> 0:25:03.159
<v Speaker 2>level of acceptance of him being the person that he is.

0:25:03.840 --> 0:25:06.520
<v Speaker 2>And if you are taking.

0:25:06.240 --> 0:25:09.000
<v Speaker 3>Care of a child, having to then take on all

0:25:09.040 --> 0:25:10.879
<v Speaker 3>the extra work of taking care of a child and

0:25:10.960 --> 0:25:13.040
<v Speaker 3>taking care of a man child is a hell of

0:25:13.080 --> 0:25:15.239
<v Speaker 3>a lot of work that you have in front of you,

0:25:15.280 --> 0:25:18.280
<v Speaker 3>And like that could be something that's very hard. The

0:25:18.320 --> 0:25:20.600
<v Speaker 3>other thing I want to say is there's a lot

0:25:20.600 --> 0:25:23.520
<v Speaker 3>of stigma around being a single mum, and I think

0:25:23.560 --> 0:25:26.879
<v Speaker 3>that society still places that stigma around women who end

0:25:26.960 --> 0:25:29.359
<v Speaker 3>up being single or who've chosen to be single parents.

0:25:29.840 --> 0:25:32.080
<v Speaker 3>And from all of the single parents who I've spoken

0:25:32.119 --> 0:25:35.199
<v Speaker 3>to and who I know, and you know, I do

0:25:35.280 --> 0:25:38.280
<v Speaker 3>another podcast which is a mother identity podcast, and I've

0:25:38.280 --> 0:25:42.639
<v Speaker 3>interviewed loads of single parents and single moms. It is

0:25:42.840 --> 0:25:46.119
<v Speaker 3>not as bad as what society makes you think it is.

0:25:46.200 --> 0:25:48.480
<v Speaker 3>And it is much better to be a single mum

0:25:48.560 --> 0:25:50.520
<v Speaker 3>than to be in a shit relationship with a shit

0:25:50.600 --> 0:25:52.879
<v Speaker 3>partner who doesn't take care of you and doesn't support

0:25:52.920 --> 0:25:55.280
<v Speaker 3>you and doesn't love you and doesn't make you feel

0:25:55.480 --> 0:25:57.800
<v Speaker 3>like you're a team. So if you have made this

0:25:57.840 --> 0:26:00.400
<v Speaker 3>decision that you want to have this baby, then this

0:26:00.480 --> 0:26:03.560
<v Speaker 3>is your life and this is something that's really wonderful

0:26:03.560 --> 0:26:06.960
<v Speaker 3>and should be celebrated. But remember that no relationship is

0:26:06.960 --> 0:26:07.800
<v Speaker 3>a guarantee.

0:26:07.960 --> 0:26:12.240
<v Speaker 2>I would also like to highlight when you said that

0:26:12.560 --> 0:26:14.240
<v Speaker 2>he's a really great person.

0:26:14.160 --> 0:26:14.480
<v Speaker 1>And.

0:26:16.000 --> 0:26:18.879
<v Speaker 2>What your problem is now is that you're worried about

0:26:18.880 --> 0:26:21.359
<v Speaker 2>how he's going to be when the baby comes. My

0:26:21.440 --> 0:26:24.280
<v Speaker 2>advice would be if things are okay now and they're happy.

0:26:24.720 --> 0:26:26.680
<v Speaker 2>Don't worry about what's going to happen yet. Just get

0:26:26.720 --> 0:26:29.000
<v Speaker 2>through it and deal with it when it comes. Because

0:26:29.040 --> 0:26:33.840
<v Speaker 2>you can't end something now because of the potentially someone's

0:26:33.840 --> 0:26:35.920
<v Speaker 2>going to act a certain way. I think you need

0:26:35.960 --> 0:26:37.520
<v Speaker 2>to stick it out now if he starts to treat

0:26:37.560 --> 0:26:40.399
<v Speaker 2>you terribly and you're unhappy. Of course, we all know

0:26:40.560 --> 0:26:44.040
<v Speaker 2>that you can take control and leave any situation, but

0:26:44.119 --> 0:26:47.360
<v Speaker 2>I think we as humans, especially women, we really get

0:26:47.359 --> 0:26:50.359
<v Speaker 2>into this habit of like what if this happens, and

0:26:50.400 --> 0:26:52.720
<v Speaker 2>we fret about the future, and we stress about the future.

0:26:52.760 --> 0:26:54.399
<v Speaker 2>But I think it's really important to take every day

0:26:54.400 --> 0:26:56.679
<v Speaker 2>as it comes. Prepare for the future. Of course you

0:26:56.720 --> 0:26:58.600
<v Speaker 2>have to. You're having a baby, and make sure he's

0:26:58.640 --> 0:27:02.960
<v Speaker 2>on board with that. Don't leave a situation now because

0:27:03.000 --> 0:27:05.760
<v Speaker 2>you're worried about something that might happen in six months time.

0:27:05.880 --> 0:27:07.399
<v Speaker 3>I guess the other thing to kind of touch on

0:27:07.600 --> 0:27:09.919
<v Speaker 3>is like, we don't know what the big thing was

0:27:10.000 --> 0:27:12.800
<v Speaker 3>that was reason enough for you to break up with him,

0:27:12.840 --> 0:27:15.320
<v Speaker 3>but I kind of I mean, I have two more

0:27:15.359 --> 0:27:17.119
<v Speaker 3>things I want to say, but one of them is

0:27:17.119 --> 0:27:19.199
<v Speaker 3>that you never need a big reason to break up

0:27:19.200 --> 0:27:21.280
<v Speaker 3>with someone. If you're unhappy, you don't have to wait

0:27:21.320 --> 0:27:23.719
<v Speaker 3>for them to screw up to feel like your reasons

0:27:23.720 --> 0:27:25.679
<v Speaker 3>for not wanting to be with someone is validated.

0:27:26.840 --> 0:27:27.960
<v Speaker 2>You are allowed and.

0:27:28.080 --> 0:27:31.080
<v Speaker 3>Entitled to make those decisions and change your life at

0:27:31.119 --> 0:27:34.479
<v Speaker 3>any point along the journey if you're unhappy, especially if

0:27:34.520 --> 0:27:37.879
<v Speaker 3>you've been communicating that you're unhappy along the way as well.

0:27:38.200 --> 0:27:39.439
<v Speaker 3>The last thing I want to say and to be,

0:27:39.560 --> 0:27:41.960
<v Speaker 3>you know, more positive about the situation, because I guess

0:27:42.200 --> 0:27:44.600
<v Speaker 3>like I have been doom and gloom, but.

0:27:44.600 --> 0:27:46.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm high because I haven't slept because I have a kid.

0:27:47.480 --> 0:27:49.159
<v Speaker 2>Is that having a child.

0:27:49.560 --> 0:27:51.840
<v Speaker 3>As much as it puts an enormous amount of pressure

0:27:51.880 --> 0:27:54.640
<v Speaker 3>on your relationship, it can also be a really galvanizing

0:27:54.680 --> 0:27:56.920
<v Speaker 3>force for your relationship. And I think it's really one

0:27:56.920 --> 0:28:00.800
<v Speaker 3>of those things in life that makes or break a family.

0:28:00.840 --> 0:28:04.400
<v Speaker 3>It makes or breaks a relationship. And you know, there

0:28:04.440 --> 0:28:06.520
<v Speaker 3>are people and there are families that make it all

0:28:06.560 --> 0:28:09.280
<v Speaker 3>the way. And just because they've made it to the

0:28:09.400 --> 0:28:11.520
<v Speaker 3>very ripe old age of whatever it is sitting in

0:28:11.560 --> 0:28:13.719
<v Speaker 3>a nursing home, doesn't mean that they haven't encountered their

0:28:13.760 --> 0:28:17.680
<v Speaker 3>own hurdles and their own challenges along the way. Every

0:28:17.680 --> 0:28:20.679
<v Speaker 3>single relationship has its own hurdles. Every single relationship has

0:28:20.720 --> 0:28:23.840
<v Speaker 3>its challenges, and like Britney said, you can't foresee what's going.

0:28:23.760 --> 0:28:24.639
<v Speaker 2>To happen in the future.

0:28:25.080 --> 0:28:26.719
<v Speaker 3>You just have to make the best choices that are

0:28:26.720 --> 0:28:28.960
<v Speaker 3>presented in front of you now, and then if things

0:28:29.040 --> 0:28:32.640
<v Speaker 3>change further down the track, then you make new choices

0:28:32.840 --> 0:28:34.520
<v Speaker 3>that better set you up to be as happy as

0:28:34.520 --> 0:28:37.399
<v Speaker 3>you possibly can be and also take care of your

0:28:37.480 --> 0:28:39.040
<v Speaker 3>child and the best way that you possibly can.

0:28:39.560 --> 0:28:41.840
<v Speaker 2>Good luck, good luck. This is what I want to

0:28:41.840 --> 0:28:44.800
<v Speaker 2>get back from this one. Yeah, you want another an

0:28:44.880 --> 0:28:47.400
<v Speaker 2>update down the track? Actually every so often, I think

0:28:47.400 --> 0:28:49.520
<v Speaker 2>this is something that we need to do. I want

0:28:49.680 --> 0:28:52.320
<v Speaker 2>updates guys, like if you've been listening to this podcast

0:28:52.360 --> 0:28:55.280
<v Speaker 2>for however long over a year now and we have

0:28:55.400 --> 0:28:58.000
<v Speaker 2>answered some of your questions, Oh, you could all get

0:28:58.000 --> 0:29:00.200
<v Speaker 2>back to us and tell us if their advice is okay?

0:29:00.240 --> 0:29:02.360
<v Speaker 3>And what happened? How did it all end up? Did

0:29:02.440 --> 0:29:04.320
<v Speaker 3>you marry the guy? Didn't you marry the guy? Did

0:29:04.320 --> 0:29:06.040
<v Speaker 3>he find out that you cheated? I want to know

0:29:06.400 --> 0:29:07.440
<v Speaker 3>tell me the goss.

0:29:07.520 --> 0:29:10.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm waiting to hear back about Tuesday's episode. This week,

0:29:11.040 --> 0:29:13.760
<v Speaker 2>you know how someone wrote to my friend and said,

0:29:13.800 --> 0:29:15.760
<v Speaker 2>I want to see your ear before I date you.

0:29:16.560 --> 0:29:18.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm waiting to hear back to see if she went

0:29:18.600 --> 0:29:20.160
<v Speaker 2>on the date and be she sent the ear. But

0:29:20.320 --> 0:29:20.960
<v Speaker 2>she sent the ear.

0:29:20.960 --> 0:29:22.560
<v Speaker 3>Can you please send the photo to me so that

0:29:22.560 --> 0:29:23.640
<v Speaker 3>we can post it online.

0:29:25.480 --> 0:29:26.440
<v Speaker 2>I'll keep you posted.

0:29:26.840 --> 0:29:28.600
<v Speaker 1>All right, Let's jump into the next one.

0:29:28.640 --> 0:29:30.080
<v Speaker 2>This will be the last one, because these have been

0:29:30.120 --> 0:29:33.400
<v Speaker 2>some pretty big, heavy questions. This is a light one.

0:29:33.720 --> 0:29:37.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm scared it's not. It's a heavy Today's a heavy day.

0:29:38.120 --> 0:29:42.440
<v Speaker 2>But I can't I can give advice on this, for sure,

0:29:42.520 --> 0:29:45.680
<v Speaker 2>but I can't give advice from a place of experience.

0:29:45.720 --> 0:29:49.240
<v Speaker 2>So this one's for you. Question number three hit me, Okay,

0:29:49.520 --> 0:29:51.600
<v Speaker 2>I really need some advice on how to handle an

0:29:51.640 --> 0:29:55.880
<v Speaker 2>extremely delicate situation. My sister in law very recently suffered

0:29:55.880 --> 0:29:58.520
<v Speaker 2>an early miscarriage after years of trying to conceive her

0:29:58.520 --> 0:30:01.760
<v Speaker 2>first child. She was so excited to finally feel pregnant

0:30:01.760 --> 0:30:03.960
<v Speaker 2>and shared her news with me and others pretty much

0:30:03.960 --> 0:30:06.400
<v Speaker 2>as soon as she found out. We were also thrilled

0:30:06.480 --> 0:30:08.520
<v Speaker 2>for her, so when she miscarried just a couple of

0:30:08.600 --> 0:30:11.600
<v Speaker 2>weeks later, it was really devastating. Now here's where it

0:30:11.600 --> 0:30:14.840
<v Speaker 2>gets tricky. I have just found out myself that I

0:30:14.840 --> 0:30:18.000
<v Speaker 2>am pregnant with my third after a relatively quick journey

0:30:18.040 --> 0:30:20.760
<v Speaker 2>to conceive. The day before she miscarried is when I

0:30:20.800 --> 0:30:23.080
<v Speaker 2>found out. I don't know how to approach it. I

0:30:23.120 --> 0:30:25.520
<v Speaker 2>don't want to be insensitive. I'm obviously not ready to

0:30:25.520 --> 0:30:28.240
<v Speaker 2>share the news just yet myself. But when the time comes,

0:30:28.600 --> 0:30:30.840
<v Speaker 2>how do you think I best handle this without upsetting

0:30:30.880 --> 0:30:33.320
<v Speaker 2>and offending her? I do feel really guilty in a

0:30:33.360 --> 0:30:36.960
<v Speaker 2>way at the thought of announcing anything that is remotely

0:30:36.960 --> 0:30:39.560
<v Speaker 2>happy on my end, knowing she has just gone through

0:30:39.560 --> 0:30:44.280
<v Speaker 2>something like this. It's giving me anxiety. Yeah, this is

0:30:44.320 --> 0:30:47.000
<v Speaker 2>really hard. It's a tough one.

0:30:46.280 --> 0:30:50.000
<v Speaker 3>My advice, I mean, and I only have this advice

0:30:50.160 --> 0:30:54.680
<v Speaker 3>from somebody who has had fertility issues themselves and has

0:30:54.880 --> 0:30:58.400
<v Speaker 3>had miscarriages. And when I had my miscarriage the first one,

0:30:58.480 --> 0:31:02.080
<v Speaker 3>my sister had her baby Archer like my nephew, and

0:31:02.120 --> 0:31:04.080
<v Speaker 3>she would bring him to work every single day, and

0:31:04.080 --> 0:31:07.520
<v Speaker 3>there was never a period where she even thought or

0:31:07.680 --> 0:31:10.760
<v Speaker 3>we even discussed like maybe I didn't want to see him,

0:31:10.760 --> 0:31:12.440
<v Speaker 3>like maybe I didn't want to be around a baby

0:31:12.440 --> 0:31:14.720
<v Speaker 3>that day, because it made me feel really reminded of

0:31:14.720 --> 0:31:19.200
<v Speaker 3>what was happening to myself. But I think people who

0:31:19.400 --> 0:31:23.040
<v Speaker 3>have fertility loss, and this is very general speaking. I'm

0:31:23.040 --> 0:31:25.479
<v Speaker 3>sure that there is a full spectrum of feelings towards this,

0:31:25.640 --> 0:31:28.440
<v Speaker 3>but I think that people who have fertility loss can

0:31:28.480 --> 0:31:31.520
<v Speaker 3>often feel very isolated because people don't want to include

0:31:31.520 --> 0:31:34.560
<v Speaker 3>them in their happiness. So people don't want to tell

0:31:34.600 --> 0:31:36.600
<v Speaker 3>them that they're pregnant. People don't want to feel like

0:31:36.600 --> 0:31:38.720
<v Speaker 3>they're rubbing it in their face, and so instead they

0:31:38.720 --> 0:31:41.720
<v Speaker 3>actually exclude them from that, and that in itself can

0:31:41.760 --> 0:31:45.800
<v Speaker 3>make the situation even worse. I think that the best

0:31:45.800 --> 0:31:47.920
<v Speaker 3>way to approach this is when you are ready to

0:31:47.960 --> 0:31:51.680
<v Speaker 3>tell people, tell her first and sit her down and

0:31:51.720 --> 0:31:54.800
<v Speaker 3>say exactly how you feel, and that you do feel

0:31:55.560 --> 0:31:58.320
<v Speaker 3>terrible that you're not able to share this experience together,

0:31:58.520 --> 0:32:01.680
<v Speaker 3>but that you know you like you want her to

0:32:01.720 --> 0:32:03.920
<v Speaker 3>be included in your pregnancy journey because it's something that's

0:32:03.960 --> 0:32:06.080
<v Speaker 3>important to you and that you love her. And I

0:32:06.120 --> 0:32:08.760
<v Speaker 3>think that you can't stop the fact that she's going

0:32:08.800 --> 0:32:10.840
<v Speaker 3>to be hurt. You can't stop the fact that it's

0:32:10.880 --> 0:32:12.880
<v Speaker 3>going to be hard for her, But I think that

0:32:12.880 --> 0:32:14.520
<v Speaker 3>there will be a part of her that is very

0:32:14.600 --> 0:32:17.960
<v Speaker 3>grateful that you included her in that as well, and

0:32:18.000 --> 0:32:20.160
<v Speaker 3>that she doesn't feel isolated and left out, because having

0:32:20.200 --> 0:32:24.240
<v Speaker 3>a miscarriage and having fertility struggles is isolating and lonely enough.

0:32:25.000 --> 0:32:27.960
<v Speaker 3>I really strongly agree with what you said about Sometimes

0:32:28.000 --> 0:32:31.440
<v Speaker 3>when people dance around a delicate situation or a delicate

0:32:31.720 --> 0:32:35.800
<v Speaker 3>subject topic discussion, it can make it worse because the

0:32:35.880 --> 0:32:40.800
<v Speaker 3>person that you're trying to protect all of a sudden feels.

0:32:40.440 --> 0:32:44.560
<v Speaker 2>Like they almost feel more left out. They feel like,

0:32:44.600 --> 0:32:47.240
<v Speaker 2>oh my god, and they feel silly, they feel stupid.

0:32:47.240 --> 0:32:49.720
<v Speaker 2>I've been in that situation before where people haven't wanted

0:32:49.760 --> 0:32:51.280
<v Speaker 2>to tell me something because they've been so happy and

0:32:51.280 --> 0:32:53.320
<v Speaker 2>they've thought I was sad, and that made me more

0:32:53.360 --> 0:32:56.160
<v Speaker 2>sad because I was like, I'm I love you, I'm

0:32:56.200 --> 0:32:59.080
<v Speaker 2>happy for you, don't and you feel like there's something

0:32:59.160 --> 0:33:02.160
<v Speaker 2>wrong with you. If if people kind of avoid situations

0:33:02.160 --> 0:33:04.360
<v Speaker 2>like that and avoid inviting you to baby showers or

0:33:04.800 --> 0:33:07.000
<v Speaker 2>avoid inviting you to birthday parties and things, because I

0:33:07.000 --> 0:33:09.960
<v Speaker 2>think it's going to offend you. It's like you feel

0:33:09.960 --> 0:33:11.800
<v Speaker 2>like there's something wrong with you. But then on top

0:33:11.840 --> 0:33:14.320
<v Speaker 2>of that, you also feel like everyone's talking about you,

0:33:14.360 --> 0:33:17.400
<v Speaker 2>which is worse. You know, I would prefer if somebody

0:33:17.960 --> 0:33:20.440
<v Speaker 2>wasn't sure about how I felt about something. Ask me,

0:33:21.000 --> 0:33:23.720
<v Speaker 2>don't ask other people about you know. I mean, obviously

0:33:23.840 --> 0:33:26.000
<v Speaker 2>you can ask us like this is anonymous as well,

0:33:26.040 --> 0:33:28.760
<v Speaker 2>but you know, I think just making sure that she

0:33:28.800 --> 0:33:33.400
<v Speaker 2>feels included and supported and loved, and obviously her pain

0:33:33.520 --> 0:33:35.080
<v Speaker 2>doesn't negate your happiness.

0:33:35.080 --> 0:33:38.240
<v Speaker 3>They don't have to coexist as two separate things. She's

0:33:38.280 --> 0:33:40.080
<v Speaker 3>allowed to be hurt and be happy for you at

0:33:40.080 --> 0:33:42.680
<v Speaker 3>the exact same time. And both of those things are.

0:33:43.120 --> 0:33:46.400
<v Speaker 2>Acceptable and beautiful, and you know, they're just part of

0:33:46.440 --> 0:33:51.120
<v Speaker 2>the spectrum of life and feelings. And yeah, just allow

0:33:51.160 --> 0:33:53.000
<v Speaker 2>her to feel the way that she feels, but also

0:33:53.040 --> 0:33:54.880
<v Speaker 2>include her in your journey. I think that that is

0:33:54.920 --> 0:33:58.160
<v Speaker 2>my absolute advice for this. She's absolutely she's your sister

0:33:58.200 --> 0:34:00.760
<v Speaker 2>in law. She's absolutely gonna be thrilled you. She's gonna

0:34:00.760 --> 0:34:02.640
<v Speaker 2>be happy, she's gonna love you, and she's gonna love

0:34:02.640 --> 0:34:06.040
<v Speaker 2>the child. Yeah. Sure, in her own time, she's gonna

0:34:06.040 --> 0:34:07.600
<v Speaker 2>have a hard time dealing with it because she has

0:34:07.640 --> 0:34:09.640
<v Speaker 2>had her own loss. But like you just said, though

0:34:09.719 --> 0:34:11.960
<v Speaker 2>she can she can do both of those. She will

0:34:12.000 --> 0:34:13.120
<v Speaker 2>be strong enough to do both of those.

0:34:13.520 --> 0:34:13.719
<v Speaker 1>Well.

0:34:13.760 --> 0:34:16.839
<v Speaker 2>I think, yeah, I feel like we've answered that. I

0:34:16.880 --> 0:34:19.000
<v Speaker 2>also feel like next week, you need to bring some

0:34:19.080 --> 0:34:19.960
<v Speaker 2>lighthearted questions.

0:34:20.040 --> 0:34:21.759
<v Speaker 1>Yes, this is a lot.

0:34:21.840 --> 0:34:23.600
<v Speaker 2>It was a big week, but you know, we like

0:34:23.640 --> 0:34:25.719
<v Speaker 2>to mix it up. We like to these are real

0:34:25.760 --> 0:34:28.920
<v Speaker 2>problems that real people are experiencing, and I think sometimes

0:34:29.560 --> 0:34:32.040
<v Speaker 2>we need to take a deep dive into some more

0:34:32.080 --> 0:34:34.080
<v Speaker 2>serious things and other weeks we can have a laugh

0:34:34.120 --> 0:34:36.960
<v Speaker 2>and it can be like a lighthearted problems, especially fertility,

0:34:37.000 --> 0:34:38.799
<v Speaker 2>because I think it's you know, we are at that

0:34:38.880 --> 0:34:42.440
<v Speaker 2>age now where these these issues are very common, and

0:34:42.480 --> 0:34:44.719
<v Speaker 2>their conversations that you have amongst your girlfriends, and their

0:34:44.719 --> 0:34:47.839
<v Speaker 2>conversations that come up all the time, and you know,

0:34:48.000 --> 0:34:50.400
<v Speaker 2>it does sometimes feel like I even saw someone recently

0:34:50.400 --> 0:34:53.120
<v Speaker 2>write in our Facebook group that it feels like everybody

0:34:53.239 --> 0:34:56.080
<v Speaker 2>is having a pregnancy announcement. It feels like everyone is pregnant,

0:34:56.120 --> 0:34:59.600
<v Speaker 2>and for someone who is struggling with fertility or maybe

0:34:59.640 --> 0:35:03.120
<v Speaker 2>infer that feels like a constant slap in the face.

0:35:03.200 --> 0:35:04.759
<v Speaker 2>And the one thing I want to say to that,

0:35:04.840 --> 0:35:07.040
<v Speaker 2>which I did touch on when we did the miscarriage

0:35:07.080 --> 0:35:10.000
<v Speaker 2>episode quite a while back, if anyone is going through

0:35:10.000 --> 0:35:12.360
<v Speaker 2>that or knows somebody who is going through that, we

0:35:12.480 --> 0:35:15.000
<v Speaker 2>really recommend that every woman listens to it because it's

0:35:15.200 --> 0:35:18.160
<v Speaker 2>such an insight into something that is so common, very

0:35:18.200 --> 0:35:19.439
<v Speaker 2>powerful episode.

0:35:19.680 --> 0:35:23.319
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I just want to say that sometimes it can

0:35:23.400 --> 0:35:27.120
<v Speaker 3>feel like everyone around you is having a happy pregnancy announcement.

0:35:27.160 --> 0:35:30.120
<v Speaker 3>And that's because we don't talk about miscarriage enough. And

0:35:30.640 --> 0:35:33.480
<v Speaker 3>you know, people don't often announce their pregnancies and also

0:35:33.560 --> 0:35:36.040
<v Speaker 3>announce the fact that they've had three miscarriages in order

0:35:36.080 --> 0:35:39.320
<v Speaker 3>to have their pregnancy. So keep in mind that sometimes

0:35:39.320 --> 0:35:41.560
<v Speaker 3>you only see the highlight reel of what's happening in

0:35:41.560 --> 0:35:45.120
<v Speaker 3>someone's life. You don't always see the struggles that everybody

0:35:45.120 --> 0:35:48.480
<v Speaker 3>else is facing. I think sometimes remembering that puts things

0:35:48.520 --> 0:35:52.000
<v Speaker 3>into perspective and makes you go, ah, okay, it doesn't

0:35:52.040 --> 0:35:55.040
<v Speaker 3>feel like every single person around me is pregnant, because

0:35:55.040 --> 0:35:59.439
<v Speaker 3>every single person encounters different struggles along that journey. Yeah,

0:36:00.600 --> 0:36:03.359
<v Speaker 3>all right, we did it, alrighty guys, that is us.

0:36:03.400 --> 0:36:05.440
<v Speaker 3>That is ask uncut for the week. We will be

0:36:05.520 --> 0:36:08.960
<v Speaker 3>back next week with a big, juicy episode for you,

0:36:09.040 --> 0:36:09.720
<v Speaker 3>and then we'll.

0:36:09.560 --> 0:36:12.520
<v Speaker 2>Be answering your deep, dark and dirty questions again. And

0:36:12.800 --> 0:36:15.560
<v Speaker 2>if you haven't already done it, then I've got a

0:36:15.560 --> 0:36:18.520
<v Speaker 2>few housekeeping things for you to do. Guys. Number one,

0:36:18.880 --> 0:36:22.560
<v Speaker 2>go and leave us a review. Just jump onto Apple Podcasts,

0:36:23.080 --> 0:36:26.759
<v Speaker 2>tell your friends all that stuff. Number two is to

0:36:26.840 --> 0:36:29.680
<v Speaker 2>go and join our Facebook group which is Life Uncut Podcast.

0:36:29.760 --> 0:36:32.279
<v Speaker 2>You can also put your questions for Ask Uncut up

0:36:32.320 --> 0:36:34.359
<v Speaker 2>there if they're not super personal and you don't need

0:36:34.360 --> 0:36:36.200
<v Speaker 2>to keep the mononymous. Lots of people like to share

0:36:36.239 --> 0:36:39.480
<v Speaker 2>their questions and the community that we have been building

0:36:39.840 --> 0:36:41.600
<v Speaker 2>are so amazing and they'll get behind it and they

0:36:41.640 --> 0:36:43.960
<v Speaker 2>will answer these questions for you as well. And number

0:36:43.960 --> 0:36:47.719
<v Speaker 2>three is I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go watch The Bachelor.

0:36:50.400 --> 0:36:50.880
<v Speaker 1>Ceasing.

0:36:50.960 --> 0:36:53.919
<v Speaker 2>Guys, share the love because we love love.

0:37:00.480 --> 0:37:18.400
<v Speaker 1>Theavakara A the company A vapara Abay thea