Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whalbury and a waddery woman. And before
Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to Sheets on the Money, the podcast
Speaker 4: millennials who want financial freedom with me today. I have
Speaker 4: a lady who knows just how much I love Christmas,
Speaker 4: Victoria Devine.
Speaker 5: Hello, Yes, you are basically a Christmas Elf. And to
Speaker 5: be honest, when I saw that movie, is it Buddy
Speaker 5: the Elf?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like, wow, this is yes, I am
Speaker 2: one hundred perform. Well, we can't be.
Speaker 5: So excited though, because today's Christmas episode is not as
Speaker 5: fluffy as you guys have come to expect from us.
Speaker 4: No, definitely not. Christmas is one of the most stressful
Speaker 4: times of year on all fronts, and we've had a
Speaker 4: lot of people reaching out and asking how they can
Speaker 4: balance their regular savings goals with the spirit of the
Speaker 4: season and all of the pressure that they're feeling as
Speaker 4: a result of that, and it's quite possibly one of
Speaker 4: the hardest things to manage at Christmas time. We want
Speaker 4: it to be special, we want to show people how
Speaker 4: much we love them and how important they are to us.
Speaker 4: But at the same time, there's kind of this deadline
Speaker 4: thing at the end of the year. A lot of
Speaker 4: stuff is due, a lot of repayments. It seems like
Speaker 4: all of a sudden, life is just a real money pit,
Speaker 4: and I think that that really adds to that feeling
Speaker 4: of pressure that people experience.
Speaker 5: Can we cancel that, you know, the thing where people
Speaker 5: will be like, oh my gosh, yes, it's coming towards
Speaker 5: the end of the year, we should catch up. Yeah,
Speaker 5: and then everybody wants to get drinks with you in December,
Speaker 5: and I'm like, babe, I'll be here in January, yeah, April, May,
Speaker 5: all of those other months that we didn't catch up.
Speaker 4: Why now, Yeah, absolutely, it's all at once and it's
Speaker 4: really lovely that people want to spend time with you,
Speaker 4: but at the same time it can be very anxiety
Speaker 4: inducing I think for a lot of people.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I guess this episode has actually come from
Speaker 5: me having a few chats with a few friends coming
Speaker 5: up to the silly season where they're like, oh Christmas,
Speaker 5: I get so anxious and I was like, what about
Speaker 5: And it's like, it's about the spending, but also the expectation,
Speaker 5: and then kind of you know, if you're a young female,
Speaker 5: maybe you don't have the funds to buy really fancy
Speaker 5: presents for your parents when you really want to, but
Speaker 5: they have the funds to kind of buy you the
Speaker 5: fancy presence. So you just feel like there's a bit
Speaker 5: of a power imbalance or an imbalance.
Speaker 2: In what you want to get versus what you can get.
Speaker 5: And I just think nobody should be going through that
Speaker 5: stress because at the end of the day, like summary
Speaker 5: of this entire episode, it's the thought that counts. So
Speaker 5: if you don't have much time, that is absolutely the
Speaker 5: main takeaway from here. But last year the insurer HCF
Speaker 5: actually revealed some research and that research said that seventy
Speaker 5: one percent of Australians will quote bracing for a stressful Christmas.
Speaker 5: Twenty two percent of Australians felt well pressure to spend
Speaker 5: time with friends and family, which kind of makes sense.
Speaker 5: Nineteen percent of Australians felt pressure to spend too much money,
Speaker 5: and nineteen percent felt lonelier and sadder at this time
Speaker 5: of year. That breaks my heart because as much as
Speaker 5: I'm like, yeah, Christmas, spirit, festivity, and I'm so about it,
Speaker 5: it makes me really sad to know that it is
Speaker 5: a huge stress, like seventy one percent of people that
Speaker 5: it makes more.
Speaker 2: People than not that can come to my Christmas.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's a whole bunch of things that would
Speaker 4: be the final answers. The pressure to spend time with
Speaker 4: people or maybe feeling like you don't have people to
Speaker 4: spend time with. It's like a big pressure cooker of anxiety.
Speaker 5: And if you don't have the closest relationship with your family,
Speaker 5: sometimes that just really exasperates it and makes it really obvious,
Speaker 5: because you know, you catch up with friends that are like, oh,
Speaker 5: I'm just going to mums for the weekend or I'm
Speaker 5: just doing this, and like having worked in the space
Speaker 5: where a lot of my clients have become some of
Speaker 5: my best friends, but a lot of my clients came
Speaker 5: to me because of an inheritance. I often come up
Speaker 5: against this because I'll be like, oh, yeah, I'm just
Speaker 5: going to my parents and they'll say something really kind,
Speaker 5: like have so much fun.
Speaker 2: I wish I could do that.
Speaker 5: Too, because most of those friends have lost a parent
Speaker 5: or both their parents, And it's just this really shitty
Speaker 5: period of time where I just want to scoop people
Speaker 5: up and be.
Speaker 1: Like you can come to my Christmas, like you can
Speaker 1: borrow my family, Like.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I think that that's, you know, the Christmas
Speaker 5: spirit in a way. It's not about having this perfect
Speaker 5: nuclear family, like that's the abnormal outcome these days. It's
Speaker 5: actually about sharing and caring and anxiety. It shouldn't be
Speaker 5: a part of Christmas. And I think that if you
Speaker 5: knew your friend was experiencing that, you'd be like, oh, babe,
Speaker 5: like let's do this later, or don't get presents, or
Speaker 5: reset the expectations. And I just feel like this time
Speaker 5: of year is not the time of year where we should,
Speaker 5: you know, have been working towards all of our financial
Speaker 5: and life goals to then in December throw all of
Speaker 5: that away. Because it's festive, Like, I just don't think
Speaker 5: we should be doing that. So on today's show, we
Speaker 5: are going to be offering some solutions to the social
Speaker 5: and financial anxiety that ends up creeping up on us
Speaker 5: at this time of year to help you guys navigate
Speaker 5: the social and financial anxiety of the festive season.
Speaker 4: All right, let's start by talking about how we spend
Speaker 4: at Christmas time. The I have some stats of my
Speaker 4: own that came from a study from MiQ Australia in
Speaker 4: twenty twenty two. Australians will increase spending, start shopping earlier
Speaker 4: and combine online product research with bricks and more to
Speaker 4: purchase for this festive season because everything that sounds good,
Speaker 4: that sounds good. Christmas decorations came out at the same
Speaker 4: time as Halloween decorations this year.
Speaker 5: What the heck is that about. By the way, I
Speaker 5: was walking through Camart, I just can't. I can't with
Speaker 5: this world right now.
Speaker 4: And it's totally because businesses a lack the longer it's out.
Speaker 4: And you know what, I am guilty of definitely buying
Speaker 4: some things in October. I'm not gonna lie to you.
Speaker 5: However, Babe, you literally have to negotiate with your partner
Speaker 5: each year about putting your tree up in August.
Speaker 2: I no, I try. I try and bring it back
Speaker 2: a little earlier every year. What about three extra days?
Speaker 2: What about three extra months?
Speaker 5: Can we just keep the tree up year round and
Speaker 5: literally just perware Like I feel like there's a very
Speaker 5: good argument to keeping a tree up year round.
Speaker 4: I think you're not wrong, but it makes sense that
Speaker 4: the first year post pandemic where we've really been able
Speaker 4: to do Christmas, I guess the way that we normally
Speaker 4: would and more than a third of Australians, which is
Speaker 4: thirty four percent piece specific, that.
Speaker 2: Was definitely more than a third.
Speaker 4: Yep, they're expecting to spend more this holiday season compared
Speaker 4: to twenty twenty one, despite the fact that inflation is
Speaker 4: on the rise and interest race and cost of living
Speaker 4: expenses are both skyrocketing as well.
Speaker 2: Why do you think that is?
Speaker 5: Why do you think we are trying to spend more
Speaker 5: this holiday season despite the fact that everything is more expensive?
Speaker 5: Inflation is literally crippling us, and I feel like everybody's
Speaker 5: mortgage is absolutely sinking them. Like what on earth, guys?
Speaker 5: I feel like it's a combo of two things. It's
Speaker 5: the fact that, like I said, it's the first year
Speaker 5: that we've maybe been able to see family and friends
Speaker 5: who are in interstate or spend time with a large
Speaker 5: group of people.
Speaker 4: But it's also the lipstick effect that we've spoken about before.
Speaker 5: But that's a good point where you've had, like, maybe
Speaker 5: not such a good year, So all of the small
Speaker 5: things are what you're happy to blow money on because
Speaker 5: like maybe you didn't get to get into your dream
Speaker 5: house this year, or you didn't get to do this
Speaker 5: big financial goal that you were working towards, so you're like,
Speaker 5: all right, well whatever, at least I can buy a
Speaker 5: really nice gift pack for Mecca, which I definitely will
Speaker 5: be doing this season.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, we love them.
Speaker 3: Vie.
Speaker 4: What would you say your biggest stress point is at
Speaker 4: Christmas time?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: What would it be?
Speaker 1: So?
Speaker 5: I think the biggest stress point is actually, I don't know.
Speaker 5: I find gift giving really hard, so you would know
Speaker 5: the gift giving is definitely one of my love languages,
Speaker 5: funny because I don't like it back. I don't like
Speaker 5: other people paying for me or buying things for me.
Speaker 5: I literally get really is anxious the right word about that,
Speaker 5: Like when you give me a gift, I immediately go,
Speaker 5: oh my god, like, why why did you think that
Speaker 5: I needed this? Like, thank you so much, but also
Speaker 5: like that was really expensive. You didn't have to. It
Speaker 5: gives me anxiety to think that I've put someone else out,
Speaker 5: which is something I clearly need to work on because
Speaker 5: that is not healthy. But I think it's about really
Speaker 5: finding the perfect present at this point in the year.
Speaker 2: And I mean, I am.
Speaker 5: In such a privileged position where Christmas for me, yeah,
Speaker 5: like we budget for it, but like I have the
Speaker 5: budget to you know, buy my parents some really nice gifts.
Speaker 5: But even though I have the budget, I still really
Speaker 5: stress about it. So just because you have the money
Speaker 5: for it doesn't make it an easy process.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think.
Speaker 5: In fact, you know, now that I have like my
Speaker 5: big girl job, I put a lot more pressure on
Speaker 5: myself to like get my parents really good gifts because
Speaker 5: I love them and I adore them and I want
Speaker 5: to show a really high level of gratitude to them,
Speaker 5: and because gift giving is one of my love languages.
Speaker 5: I put a lot of pressure on myself there. But
Speaker 5: I think that that also I need to go back
Speaker 5: and take some of my own advice because my parents
Speaker 5: don't care.
Speaker 2: If I write my.
Speaker 5: Dad a card, he'd be like, this is the best
Speaker 5: Christmas present I've ever gotten. And if you ask him
Speaker 5: what he wants for Christmas every year, jes like he's like, oh,
Speaker 5: love a new white T shirt because he just doesn't
Speaker 5: buy any of that stuff himself, and he knows that
Speaker 5: I'll go buy a good quality one. He's like, oh
Speaker 5: love Country Road, such good quality Cottons. Like that impresses him, honestly,
Speaker 5: nearly as much as me going out and being like,
Speaker 5: I got this tool that you really liked and I
Speaker 5: thought really hard about.
Speaker 2: He'd be like, oh, thanks so much.
Speaker 5: I'll be like, that's the same reaction to the T shirt.
Speaker 5: So jess what kind of big stress points are being
Speaker 5: put on you.
Speaker 4: I relate to the gift thing, I think because it's
Speaker 4: also one of my top love languages. Although unlike you,
Speaker 4: I love both giving and receiving gifts. I wish I
Speaker 4: was more not weird about it. Just it's a personal
Speaker 4: value thing, and I think when I reflect on it,
Speaker 4: the thing that I like about gifts, as you said,
Speaker 4: it's not about the financial amount, it's not about whatever
Speaker 4: it is. It's the fact that someone thought about you.
Speaker 4: But that kind of plays into my stress up because
Speaker 4: for me, the thing that I really stress about is
Speaker 4: getting a gift for every person that I know. Like
Speaker 4: I will get a gift for my male man because
Speaker 4: he comes to my door ten thousand times a week.
Speaker 4: Like if I'm going to you're being serious right now.
Speaker 4: Our postal workers work very hard, and I absolutely do.
Speaker 4: But like, is that within budget? Because okay, I like this.
Speaker 4: I think that gratitude is really important. That's your way
Speaker 4: of showing it. What are you getting the postman?
Speaker 1: Though? Oh?
Speaker 4: Only something small? Like it would be like maybe some
Speaker 4: chocolates or okay, I'm on board with that. Yeah, nothing.
Speaker 2: Now you just make it feel guilty. I've never bought
Speaker 2: my postman a pressent. Bullshit. Sorry, I'm going.
Speaker 4: But like, if I go to a Christmas dinner with friends,
Speaker 4: for example, and I'm like, oh, like, there's two people
Speaker 4: out of ten people that I'm really good friends with
Speaker 4: that I would normally buy a gift for. If I'm
Speaker 4: going to a Christmas and you don't I only give
Speaker 4: to some, I'm gonna buy a gift for every single
Speaker 4: person there, and I want to spend the same amount
Speaker 4: of money on every single person because I feel bad.
Speaker 4: And so for me, it's almost about wanting to show
Speaker 4: love and appreciation and wanting everybody to feel included. And
Speaker 4: then I stress myself out because if I don't know
Speaker 4: someone well enough, I'm like, I don't know what, and
Speaker 4: it just becomes this big thing in my mind.
Speaker 5: You are triggering me so much to a part of
Speaker 5: my money story that I had completely forgotten. And it's
Speaker 5: interesting because obviously gift gifting is my love language, and
Speaker 5: it's absolutely my mum's love language as well. And I
Speaker 5: remember every year we'd do the Chrismas shopping and she
Speaker 5: would pick up like two or three additional quote gifts
Speaker 5: to wrap and put under the tree in case anyone
Speaker 5: popped over that she'd forgotten about, or we're going to
Speaker 5: like a last minute like Christmas drinks or something, so
Speaker 5: she could take a present and you know, make sure
Speaker 5: that people weren't forgotten about if she'd actually left them
Speaker 5: off the radar. And I feel like you are cut
Speaker 5: paste my mother.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we have a gifts cupboard, but it's like that thing,
Speaker 4: and I think you go take a step back. If
Speaker 4: I didn't buy a gift for my best friend's brother's cousin.
Speaker 4: I don't think they just crass about it. I think
Speaker 4: they didn't get me a gift, but it's just putting
Speaker 4: that I think wanting everyone feel good and wanting to
Speaker 4: show love to everybody, it does totally become bit of
Speaker 4: a money p here. And I'm very consciously and I
Speaker 4: do budget for it, and it's not like I'm putting
Speaker 4: myself into debt. But that's something that I personally find
Speaker 4: quite stressful, is knowing where to draw the line.
Speaker 5: That's a lot of pressure to think that you need
Speaker 5: to provide so much for other people that you don't
Speaker 5: even know. And it's funny because I was talking again
Speaker 5: before we organize this episode, like you're doing that for them,
Speaker 5: But Jess, if we all went out to a group dinner,
Speaker 5: you'd be like, well, I'm not going to pick up
Speaker 5: the tab for them. I don't know them. They can
Speaker 5: split the bill with me. So why do our values
Speaker 5: change so much at Christmas time? Where I go from
Speaker 5: being like, oh, Jess, let's split the bill to oh, Jess, like, well,
Speaker 5: it's December, so I'm just gonna have a little bit
Speaker 5: more financial anxiety because I need to give you a
Speaker 5: gift like it makes no sense at all. So like,
Speaker 5: let's segue back into the episode that we have been
Speaker 5: trying to pull together, because I feel like we've gone
Speaker 5: on a little bit of a tangent, which, honestly, it's
Speaker 5: chees on the money, what were you expecting? But something
Speaker 5: really worthwhile keeping in mind. According to McCrindle, an Australian
Speaker 5: based social research, demographics and done it analytics agency, the
Speaker 5: top three things Ozzies are most looking forward to it
Speaker 5: Christmas is spending time with family, the food and celebrations,
Speaker 5: and the Christmas chair. And also that Australians apparently value
Speaker 5: experiences over just more things, which I absolutely agree. So
Speaker 5: I feel like we need to put things in perspective. Jess,
Speaker 5: does your postman really need a present? In light of
Speaker 5: all of this.
Speaker 4: Conversation, I'm still going to buy a present for the postman,
Speaker 4: but maybe not for my best friend's brother's cousin.
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, no, no, But I mean I feel like
Speaker 5: I've got a good relationship with my postman. He knows
Speaker 5: where to put the parcel so Steve doesn't see them
Speaker 5: when he comes in. Oh my god, postman, just what
Speaker 5: am ten out of ten doing the most. Also, he's
Speaker 5: nice to my dog, and any person that's nice to
Speaker 5: a dog is a nice human.
Speaker 4: I agree with all of that in mind, V what
Speaker 4: can we kind of do about this pressure that makes
Speaker 4: us more often than not blow our budget a little bit.
Speaker 2: Out of proportion? All right?
Speaker 5: So I've talked about this on the podcast before. I
Speaker 5: feel like we talked about it actually during our live
Speaker 5: shows earlier this year. But I want to talk about
Speaker 5: a really interesting way to drow up your Christmas list,
Speaker 5: and it's by identifying your love languages and that of
Speaker 5: your intended gift recipients. So, Jess, you're acutely aware. And
Speaker 5: I mean this is probably half the postman because you
Speaker 5: don't really know him that well, But I mean you
Speaker 5: could pop out when he's dropping off your next Amazon
Speaker 5: pastor and me like, hey, mabe, I just want to
Speaker 5: talk to you about your love like which one is yours?
Speaker 5: Not creepy, just interested, just curious, just having a casual chat.
Speaker 5: But understanding the love languages of your intended gift recipients
Speaker 5: is going to be really powerful, right because Jess, let's
Speaker 5: like use you and I in this circumstance, Like I
Speaker 5: do get a little bit uncomfortable with gifts, but I
Speaker 5: love experiences. I love things that are really thoughtful. I
Speaker 5: love things that people have spent time doing, not necessarily like, oh,
Speaker 5: I hunted down this expense. You think like I just
Speaker 5: don't care about the stuff, And that's not me going
Speaker 5: over and occurb stuff, because Lord knows, I love stuff,
Speaker 5: but I want to buy it myself because that doesn't
Speaker 5: make me feel guilty. So if you were buying a
Speaker 5: gift for me, maybe you're not thinking about a thing,
Speaker 5: but maybe something we could do together. And I think
Speaker 5: if we look at love languages, especially if you are
Speaker 5: a gift giver, and your instinct is to absolutely go
Speaker 5: into overdrive at this time, which Jessica, I'm literally hearing
Speaker 5: at you. But this isn't the way that every single
Speaker 5: person deciphers love and decipher's value. So I think that
Speaker 5: if your loved one is a quality time person or
Speaker 5: an active service person, like have a think about that. Like,
Speaker 5: I know my partner, Steve is a thousand percent active
Speaker 5: service person. So I know that if I made up
Speaker 5: a really cute gift out to your book and like
Speaker 5: did all of these things and said we do this
Speaker 5: or that, or I'll you know, rub your feet if
Speaker 5: that's something that he's interested in, which is not by
Speaker 5: the way, it's just a really random example. I'm the
Speaker 5: one that wants to have my feet rubbed. I know
Speaker 5: he would value that above and beyond just getting another thing.
Speaker 5: He's just not a thing person. And maybe you don't
Speaker 5: need to buy them a present. Maybe you can make
Speaker 5: like the voutro was talking about, or do a thoughtful act,
Speaker 5: or spend some time together and try and marry these
Speaker 5: up to rejuice the pressure that you put on yourself
Speaker 5: and your finances. So sure, you absolutely can't do this
Speaker 5: for everybody on your list, like your postmin or maybe
Speaker 5: your boss, but you'll very likely find that this will
Speaker 5: have an impact on the way that you spend at
Speaker 5: Christmas time from my perspective.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, And if you're hearing us throw around the phrase
Speaker 4: love languages and you're like, what are we talking about,
Speaker 4: there's actually a test called the five lung languages, and
Speaker 4: it essentially categorizes the way we like to give and
Speaker 4: receive love. And those can be different, because, as you said,
Speaker 4: you lack to give gifts but not receive them, and
Speaker 4: so identifying the way that you like to display love
Speaker 4: and the way that your friends and family like to
Speaker 4: receive love. You might find that more often than not,
Speaker 4: you don't need to be spending money. Maybe it's just
Speaker 4: about carving out some time to say, oh, let's go
Speaker 4: to a picnic together, and you can spend twenty dollars
Speaker 4: into a really nice DIY cheese board. Buy yourself like
Speaker 4: a you know, five to ten bottle of wine.
Speaker 5: Is it fit twenty five dollars audi cheese board, pick
Speaker 5: up some lum your rose.
Speaker 2: You are on your way, my love, You are on
Speaker 2: your way.
Speaker 4: And it's you know here in Oz, it's summertime. It's
Speaker 4: a great time to get outdoors and celebrate with people.
Speaker 4: And you don't necessarily have to have money. If you
Speaker 4: don't know your love languages. There is a free quiz
Speaker 4: that you can do online. We'll link in the show notes.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Absolutely, I think it's really interesting as well, Like I
Speaker 5: keep being like, what do you mean? I don't like
Speaker 5: giving gifts, so I love the idea of giving gifts.
Speaker 2: I just feel ah awkward about it.
Speaker 5: And in saying that, I also think that there's this
Speaker 5: idea that you have to go out to celebrate, Like
Speaker 5: I love the idea of being like, hey, Jess, do
Speaker 5: you and James want to come over? Like I'm going
Speaker 5: to make this Lazonia or whatever I'm going to make.
Speaker 5: Do you want to bring dessert? And like we'll provide
Speaker 5: the wine or whatever. Cheap night really exciting. I'm going
Speaker 5: to go old school here and say that I break
Speaker 5: out the board games a fair bit when free.
Speaker 4: I was just gonna say that board games, if you
Speaker 4: give someone a board game, you can usually get them
Speaker 4: for twenty dollars or less. And if you popped a
Speaker 4: little note saying here's a board game and an I
Speaker 4: owe you for a night, you know, with our couples
Speaker 4: or with our group of friends, that's really cute.
Speaker 5: That is really cute. And Kmart have some really cheap ones. Okay,
Speaker 5: I've just thought of a gift or the fly that
Speaker 5: I think you're gonna love, Jess. So again, I'm just
Speaker 5: like pumping Audi's tires up. They aren't sponsoring this. I'm
Speaker 5: just like a megafan they recently won. I think it's
Speaker 5: like a gold Award for their peanut gricio. It's four
Speaker 5: ninety five bargain, get a bottle of wine, buy a
Speaker 5: really cheap board game. It doesn't even have to be
Speaker 5: like a branded board game. It could just be an
Speaker 5: activity that you do together. That's the gift. Yeah, ten
Speaker 5: to fifteen dollars, and it's thoughtful. And you could write
Speaker 5: a really cute card and it could be a you
Speaker 5: can't open this until we're having dinner together.
Speaker 2: Like, how cute is that?
Speaker 5: I turn out of ten would love that present because
Speaker 5: it's the thought that counts.
Speaker 4: Yess, I love that. I think that is such a
Speaker 4: sweet idea. Let's dash to a break and then when
Speaker 4: we come back there, I want to talk through your
Speaker 4: list of tips that I know you've always got about
Speaker 4: how to keep Christmas on track financially.
Speaker 2: Don't go anywhere back, Cancel Christmas. That's the plan. No, please, don't.
Speaker 4: Welcome back everybody. Today we're talking about Christmas, the social
Speaker 4: and financial pressures and anxiety that a lot of us
Speaker 4: feel around that time, and most importantly, how we can
Speaker 4: avoid that.
Speaker 5: And Victoria all right, Jess, well, I guess the answer
Speaker 5: to this is actually just to cancel Christmas.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, Please no, tell me you've got some
Speaker 4: other good options on your list for me. No, I
Speaker 4: mean I've got a few options on my list but honestly,
Speaker 4: if you just entirely skipped this period of the year,
Speaker 4: like you would save so.
Speaker 5: Much money, you would, But I don't want to do it. No,
Speaker 5: we're not going to be doing that. So do I
Speaker 5: even need to say this as the first tip? Yeah, Like,
Speaker 5: we need to set a budget. We need to identify
Speaker 5: how much you've got to spend and what you want
Speaker 5: to spend per gift or buy each category. So don't
Speaker 5: discount homemade gifts or practical presence or experiences in the
Speaker 5: gift of time through babysitting or cooking dinner for a
Speaker 5: loved one. I've got a few girlfriends who have had
Speaker 5: their first babies this year, and honestly, it's the most
Speaker 5: exciting thing in the entire world. I get called Auntie
Speaker 5: Tory and I get to steal their babies and it
Speaker 5: is my favorite thing. But being so close to them now,
Speaker 5: I know that they would absolutely adore babysitting. Here is
Speaker 5: a gift voucher. I'm gonna come over obviously if you're
Speaker 5: trusted with the kid. I think that this is like
Speaker 5: a pretty fickle area because you can't just be like, oh,
Speaker 5: just give it a ches and just it's like I
Speaker 5: don't want you to look after aid, but I think
Speaker 5: it's like one of those things where if you know
Speaker 5: you're trusted with the baby, be like, hey, I'm going
Speaker 5: to come over and give you like a night off.
Speaker 5: You can go and have your own date night. Money win,
Speaker 5: and you get to spend some quality time with a
Speaker 5: kid that you love.
Speaker 2: Like that's huge. I'm obsessed.
Speaker 5: But don't feel like you have to spend every dollar
Speaker 5: you've allocated either, Like, if you see a really good
Speaker 5: gift for like sixty dollars and your budget was seventy five,
Speaker 5: please bank that difference or reallocate it to something else.
Speaker 5: Don't just be like, oh, well I budgeted seventy five
Speaker 5: dollars for Jess's gift. I really should get another extra
Speaker 5: thing to add on. Like, that's not what we do.
Speaker 5: That is not a smart money decision. I love and
Speaker 5: then know your shopping style, so think about it. If
Speaker 5: you're more likely to overspend when you're in the store
Speaker 5: and feeling a bit sentimental, maybe we need to do
Speaker 5: a little bit more online shopping. But if you're more
Speaker 5: likely to go overboard online by adding everything to your
Speaker 5: cut and just quote working it out later, maybe you
Speaker 5: need to go physically into the store. You can't just
Speaker 5: get click happy and add everything to your cut because
Speaker 5: it doesn't feel as real. The other thing I would
Speaker 5: say is listen to our points Hack episode and use
Speaker 5: your loyalty or rewards points. Thinking about your shop back.
Speaker 5: Cash back is probably a really good thing right now.
Speaker 5: I mean, shopback's not gonna love the factor that I'm
Speaker 5: telling you all to take all your money out all
Speaker 5: at the same time, but anything you've accumulated is gonna
Speaker 5: discount what you actually have to spend on Christmas. Make
Speaker 5: a list and check it twice or just stick to it.
Speaker 5: I don't even care how many times you check it.
Speaker 5: It's estimated each and every single year that waste increases
Speaker 5: by thirty percent at Christmas.
Speaker 2: So do your bit for the.
Speaker 5: Environment and your budget and make a list, maybe on
Speaker 5: the back of a piece of recycled paper, so that
Speaker 5: we're not contributing to that additional waste. As well as
Speaker 5: gifts and stuff like that for your nearest and dearest,
Speaker 5: you also need to factor in group gifts, so like
Speaker 5: Chris Kringles and wrapping paper and postage and decorations. I
Speaker 5: cannot tell you how much money over the years I
Speaker 5: have spent on last minute gift ropping gift bags and
Speaker 5: cards because I just haven't pre planned it and don't
Speaker 5: have my stash of one dollar cards from the two
Speaker 5: dollar shop, you know, Like, I just feel like being
Speaker 5: prepared at this point of the year is a really
Speaker 5: really good idea. And then also plan the festive food
Speaker 5: that you're going to prepare so that you don't over
Speaker 5: cater and throw food out. And potentially this is another
Speaker 5: tip that I got from my mum, if you're making
Speaker 5: like a really big salad, which maybe you are maybe not,
Speaker 5: don't put all the dressing on the salad, like put
Speaker 5: the salad dressing on the side, because you can't put
Speaker 5: salad back in the fridge. If it's covered in dressing,
Speaker 5: it goes all soggy and gross. But if people just
Speaker 5: put their dressing on the plate, you can pop the
Speaker 5: salad back in the fridge and then have it for
Speaker 5: a few days instead of it all going soggy and
Speaker 5: you're having to throw it out because it's absolutely gone
Speaker 5: to absolute sh one t as my dad would say. Yes,
Speaker 5: the next thing I want to say is suggest that
Speaker 5: your family and friends only buy gifts for the kids
Speaker 5: or organize a like secret center among adults. So in
Speaker 5: my family we do this, so under the age of
Speaker 5: eighteen you get presents regardless if you're over the age
Speaker 5: of eighteen, you go into the family Chris Kringle and
Speaker 5: then you only have to buy one present for one person.
Speaker 5: And given we have a larger extended family, this ends
Speaker 5: up working out really really well. And I kind of
Speaker 5: like when a present turns up and I have no
Speaker 5: idea who it's from until Christmas Day and then I'm like,
Speaker 5: oh my gosh, it's from my aunt or whatever it is,
Speaker 5: and it's actually really really sweet. So definitely set a
Speaker 5: budget and stick to it. But I promise you're not
Speaker 5: the only ones stressing about finance. Like, if you're stressing
Speaker 5: about it, Jess, your sister's probably stressing about it.
Speaker 2: If your sister's stressing about.
Speaker 5: It, your parents are probably a little bit worried. Because
Speaker 5: finance is something that is universally stressful. It's not just
Speaker 5: you who's worried about it, it's everybody. We're going through
Speaker 5: a crisis of an increasing cost in living. We shouldn't
Speaker 5: be surprised about these things. But I think up until
Speaker 5: now it's always been so taboo to talk about. It's
Speaker 5: always been like, oh, don't say that money stresses you
Speaker 5: at Christmas time. Christmas time is about giving.
Speaker 2: No, it's not.
Speaker 5: It's about also being festive and kind and general, and
Speaker 5: sometimes you need to do all of those things for yourself. Obviously,
Speaker 5: I'm gonna say, find low cost ways to have fun.
Speaker 5: We talked about board games and dinners at friends' houses,
Speaker 5: but literally, don't let money be the thing that cuts
Speaker 5: you off from your friends and family. Like last year
Speaker 5: during COVID, I learnt and I don't know how is
Speaker 5: this legal?
Speaker 2: I don't know, Jess. You're about to tell me.
Speaker 5: I learned how to make a really good espresso martini
Speaker 5: and put it in a frank green cup and go
Speaker 5: for walks with my girlfriends. You can do that at
Speaker 5: the park. You could probably don't do it at the
Speaker 5: children's park, but you could walk through the park and
Speaker 5: go for a walk with a cocktail in hand and
Speaker 5: have a really fun time. And if you can't afford
Speaker 5: super expensive restaurants, but you really like a cocktail with
Speaker 5: a girlfriend, invite or over. Say hey, Jess, do you
Speaker 5: want to do a cocktail night at my place? You'll
Speaker 5: obviously say yes, and I'll be like, Okay, cool, I'm
Speaker 5: going to bring this spirit and these sides, and you
Speaker 5: bring that spirit and these sides, and we're just making
Speaker 5: it together by ourselves.
Speaker 4: So cute.
Speaker 5: So cute, but also far more budget friendly. I think
Speaker 5: that there's this idea that if Jess, you're coming to
Speaker 5: my house, I must cater for absolutely everything, and it's
Speaker 5: a bit rude to ask you to bring something to
Speaker 5: my house, Like is that I feel like that's a thing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I agree.
Speaker 5: I grew up and my mum always said don't turn
Speaker 5: up empty handed. Ever, Like if you're going over to
Speaker 5: someone's house for dinner, like you would always take chocolates
Speaker 5: or a gift or whatever it is, Like why don't
Speaker 5: you just make that a really productive quote gift or
Speaker 5: Hey Jess, why don't you do dessert?
Speaker 2: Or I will do dinner.
Speaker 5: I just feel like I have a lot of feelings
Speaker 5: on this, and I also think that that doesn't need
Speaker 5: to be expensive either, Like there's something really wholesome about being,
Speaker 5: hey Jess, do you want to come over to dinner?
Speaker 5: We're having spaghetti Bollonneis it does not have to be
Speaker 5: a fancy steak that you never make at home. Why
Speaker 5: don't you just make a classic that you know is
Speaker 5: well loved, Like, I know you're gonna love it. Jess
Speaker 5: is a past a fiend. Ten out of ten invited
Speaker 5: to my house, feedo pasta. It is cheap, it is easy,
Speaker 5: and she's going to have a fun time. I like
Speaker 5: that a lot, And now as you like pasta a lot, Jessica,
Speaker 5: it's very true.
Speaker 4: Let's come to talking about how over Christmas it often
Speaker 4: gets a little bit overwhelming for people in terms of
Speaker 4: mental health and you know, feeling good about ourselves. How
Speaker 4: can we reframe those expectations into useful or practical conversations
Speaker 4: that we can have with the people around us to
Speaker 4: kind of take the pressure off of ourselves a little bit. Yeah,
Speaker 4: this goes back to like the community around you, in
Speaker 4: the circle that you have around you, and I think
Speaker 4: it's really important to weigh up all the obligations and
Speaker 4: wants over that period of time and remember that it
Speaker 4: is a really short period of time and that other
Speaker 4: people in your circle probably have those same pressures being
Speaker 4: applied to them and saying, hey, jes how are you
Speaker 4: just catch up in the new year when we're both
Speaker 4: a little less stressed, they'll be like, oh, yeah, great,
Speaker 4: no worries. I think sometimes, like, for example, if I
Speaker 4: said to you, Hey, Jess, we really need to catch
Speaker 4: up before Christmas, you might get a pang of guilt, like, oh,
Speaker 4: if he really wants to do that. I might be
Speaker 4: asking you because I feel guilty because I haven't seen
Speaker 4: you in nearly twelve months and I've just realized that
Speaker 4: I haven't caught up with what I thought was a
Speaker 4: really good friend in almost twelve months, and I'm a
Speaker 4: little bit stressed about it. If you turned around and said,
Speaker 4: oh my gosh, this time of year is crazy. How
Speaker 4: about we sit down and have a proper dinner together
Speaker 4: in the new year, I'd be like, oh, great, no
Speaker 4: worries to yes. So I think you need to remember
Speaker 4: that you're not the only one experiencing this stress. There's
Speaker 4: a lot more demand on our time and our energy
Speaker 4: and our finances during this time that you're not the
Speaker 4: only one that is going to be stressed by this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a really good advice there.
Speaker 4: And on the flip side of that, for people who
Speaker 4: are feeling isolated or lonely, maybe they've got past trauma
Speaker 4: or they're not super close with their family. Christmas can
Speaker 4: be particularly triggering, and we know that the festive season
Speaker 4: is not so festive for everybody, and it's a time
Speaker 4: when we see suicide rates increase and mental health crises
Speaker 4: escalate as well. What are some things that we can
Speaker 4: keep in mind for ourselves and the other people around
Speaker 4: us when considering mental health over Christmas?
Speaker 5: Yeah, look, one hundred percent, And it's honestly so important
Speaker 5: to keep this front of mine at this period of time.
Speaker 5: I mean during the entire year, it is really important.
Speaker 5: But Christmas makes people feel extra lonely because it's that
Speaker 5: one holiday during the year, because it's not like a
Speaker 5: birthday where it's your birthday and it's not mine, Jess.
Speaker 5: It's that one period of the year where everyone is
Speaker 5: showering each other in love, showering each other in attention,
Speaker 5: and it can feel extra lonely and it breaks my heart.
Speaker 5: But split families and unresolved complex do contribute to Christmas anxiety,
Speaker 5: and family and relationship problems can be a massive trigger
Speaker 5: for anxiety. And there's a few things that I want
Speaker 5: us to think about. So first things first is to
Speaker 5: set really realistic expectations like Christmas might not actually be
Speaker 5: that sunshine and lights and fabulous family reunion that you'd
Speaker 5: ever hoped for. So maybe plan how you might manage
Speaker 5: these feelings during that period of time, Like are you
Speaker 5: going to feel extra anxious? Are you going to feel
Speaker 5: a little bit depressed during this time? Like can you
Speaker 5: give the gift of a phone call and check in
Speaker 5: with a friend or a family member, Like, we know
Speaker 5: this is a really lonely period of time for some people,
Speaker 5: but also when it comes to family, Oh, it's a
Speaker 5: bit of a controversial, inspicy topic, Like you don't have
Speaker 5: to spend time with people who make you feel like
Speaker 5: shit jes Like you can call it and be like,
Speaker 5: I'm just using not to engage in that. And it
Speaker 5: might not be the stereotypical thing, it might not be
Speaker 5: a cultural thing, but I just think that you putting
Speaker 5: your mental health first and going gin know what? That
Speaker 5: is not worth it for me? Yeah, is one becoming
Speaker 5: fun or popular these days? But too just so important
Speaker 5: and such a strong decision to make, Like if you
Speaker 5: have an incredibly fractured relationship with a family and you're like,
Speaker 5: oh far out, Like I've been really dreading Christmas Day
Speaker 5: because I have to go to my parents' house and
Speaker 5: I have to do this and I hate them. I
Speaker 5: don't like them, I don't want anything to do with them.
Speaker 5: Why does this one part of the year have to
Speaker 5: change if you don't want to engage with them at
Speaker 5: any other part of the year. I think setting realistic
Speaker 5: expectations about one how you feel, but to how you're
Speaker 5: going to manage it is really important. And asking yourself
Speaker 5: the question if I was being kindest to myself, what
Speaker 5: would I do? It's probably a really good place to start,
Speaker 5: because often we ask ourselves what.
Speaker 2: Should I do? And what should you do?
Speaker 5: Usually comes from other people's expectations, But the answer to
Speaker 5: the question of what is the kindest thing I could
Speaker 5: do for myself in this situation comes from you actually
Speaker 5: putting yourself first. And I think that that is really
Speaker 5: really important. Or if you are lonely, or even just
Speaker 5: really low and cash and still want to give back,
Speaker 5: you can volunteer some time for national organizations like the
Speaker 5: Red Cross or Saint Vincent to Paul or literally there
Speaker 5: are so many places, and the one place I would
Speaker 5: visit is like your local council website and see if
Speaker 5: there's like a Christmas lunch happening that you could volunteer
Speaker 5: some time at, Like, that's such a good way of
Speaker 5: giving back, and it's definitely not what you expect it
Speaker 5: to be. I remember one year my mom was like, hey, girls,
Speaker 5: like I really want you to see that Christmas is
Speaker 5: not the same for every single family, And instead of
Speaker 5: having family lunch at our dinner table as we always
Speaker 5: would with our family, we literally went down to a
Speaker 5: community Christmas lunch and helped serve that and do that.
Speaker 5: And that was one of the most wholesome experiences of
Speaker 5: my entire life, because one, it gave me a really
Speaker 5: beautiful sense of gratitude, but two, I was like, there
Speaker 5: are all these really cool people here that I got
Speaker 5: to spend Christmas with, and there's just so much love
Speaker 5: floating around there. So if you are on your own,
Speaker 5: that could be a really good opportunity. And another one
Speaker 5: if you're lonely or you are on a budget, is
Speaker 5: attend community events like find out what's local and get involved,
Speaker 5: whether it's Christmas carols or wandering through a local market.
Speaker 5: Getting out and about can really help relieve loneliness. And
Speaker 5: if you're on a budget, why not back a little
Speaker 5: picnic yeah, why not do it on your own and
Speaker 5: listen to the Christmas carols? Like that's so wholesome and
Speaker 5: so beautiful and you don't need another person's permission to
Speaker 5: enjoy your time on your own. So I think that's
Speaker 5: probably a really good place to leave it, Miss Jessica Ricci,
Speaker 5: because the second I said Christmas carols, your eyes lit up,
Speaker 5: and I knew you weren't going to be around for
Speaker 5: the rest of their.
Speaker 4: I'm ready to go listen to all Hour of Christmas
Speaker 4: is You on repeat? But just to summarize, we totally
Speaker 4: understand and both can really relate to feelings of anxiety
Speaker 4: around Christmas, and that can be very confronting because you go, oh,
Speaker 4: I'm meant to be happy, but I'm sad. Why is that?
Speaker 4: And that's so okay. We just want you to know
Speaker 4: that if you're putting pressure on yourself, it's not necessary.
Speaker 4: And if you're finding that this time of year is
Speaker 4: exasperating existing mental health conditions, reach out and chat to somebody.
Speaker 4: We'll have some resources in the show notes, because unfortunately,
Speaker 4: mental health doesn't take a day off just because it's Christmas.
Speaker 5: All right, guys, that is all we have time for today,
Speaker 5: and we'll see you on Friday.
Speaker 2: See you then.
Speaker 5: The advice shared on She's on the Money is generally
Speaker 5: nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on
Speaker 5: the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not
Speaker 5: be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
Speaker 5: If you do choose to buy a financial product, read
Speaker 5: the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial.
Speaker 2: Advice tailored towards your needs.
Speaker 5: Victoria Divine and Sheese on the Money are authorized representatives
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