Speaker 1: You fold or scrunch.
Speaker 2: I do that when you wrap it around your hand
Speaker 2: like that, and it's like, yeah, let me call that.
Speaker 3: Now that's a fold.
Speaker 1: I'd say it's a I think it. Do you think
Speaker 1: I do? Young?
Speaker 2: Do you sit or do you stand?
Speaker 1: I stand?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Right, you I stand stand.
Speaker 1: It said, you're not.
Speaker 3: You've got the credits. You stand. You've got an open.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to two doting dads and one mom slash Nana.
Speaker 3: Yeah my name?
Speaker 1: You know you's that? I say?
Speaker 2: I'm Maddy Jay your third?
Speaker 1: Yeah, your third?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I should know my place.
Speaker 1: I I'm Matty Jo.
Speaker 3: You've got to tell me that you've got to give
Speaker 3: me more direction.
Speaker 2: I actually did.
Speaker 1: I did. I clearly remember saying that Ash will introduce
Speaker 1: himself and then you will talk.
Speaker 2: This is going to go swimming.
Speaker 1: I am Mattie J.
Speaker 3: Now you go, and I am Ellie and I am matt.
Speaker 1: Just just a name. No, sorry, continue continue?
Speaker 2: That was it? I think was it? That's good.
Speaker 1: I think that was really good.
Speaker 3: Would you like me to do it again?
Speaker 2: No? That's why there's two bigger. This is a podcast
Speaker 2: all about the good, the bad, and the relatable of
Speaker 2: parenting and of course today we have Matt's mum here
Speaker 2: to get to the bottom of why and how Matt
Speaker 2: is why he is like that he is.
Speaker 1: Can I just say, Mum, if at any point you
Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable around Ash, please let me know.
Speaker 2: What about me? What if I feel uncomfortable?
Speaker 1: I've just since if you were right just being very
Speaker 1: uncomfortable around the two of you.
Speaker 2: Well, do you want to start calling me dad now
Speaker 2: or at the end of the podcast.
Speaker 1: It's great to have mom here. This episode is going
Speaker 1: to be a little bit different because normally we have
Speaker 1: guests on a bonus episode. However, however, right now when
Speaker 1: this comes out, Ash.
Speaker 2: Will be balls deep in some bintang in Bali.
Speaker 1: He is on holiday. So we have pre recorded this
Speaker 1: episode with my mother. So it's not going to be
Speaker 1: a normal episode in that we don't have the lies,
Speaker 1: we don't have ordinary parenting as a segment. It's just
Speaker 1: going to be with my mother dearest.
Speaker 2: Yes, And even though we don't have those segments, we
Speaker 2: do have some other juicy things about to ask about foreskins.
Speaker 1: So a few people had suggested we get our parents
Speaker 1: on here, and it just so happened that Laura is
Speaker 1: well a time of recording. Laura is away in Bali
Speaker 1: and at the same time, by pure coincidence, my sister
Speaker 1: was moving house, so Mum was coming down. It's worked
Speaker 1: out perfectly. So I've hijacked my mum, roped her into
Speaker 1: being in my house so I can get some help
Speaker 1: with the kids, and we.
Speaker 2: Thought chuck her on the pod.
Speaker 1: So mom should be packing boxes at my.
Speaker 2: Sister's out instead, she's here talking with us.
Speaker 1: So we're doing your favor, thanks, Matte.
Speaker 2: Plenty of time to pack boxes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is actually gonna be a busy day for you.
Speaker 1: You're going to have a podcasts in the morning, packing
Speaker 1: boxes in the afternoon, and then you're also doing daycare
Speaker 1: pickup as well. And if we could have dinner ready
Speaker 1: by six, I'd love that. Maybe roast chicken.
Speaker 2: So for those of you, Matt's mum had five kids.
Speaker 2: All right, Matt, you're.
Speaker 1: The middle I am the middle child.
Speaker 2: Would you say Matt's your favorite?
Speaker 3: Not going to get me out on that one. Now,
Speaker 3: I love all my children equally.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I say too. However, however, and being
Speaker 2: the middle child, you've got how many sisters, Matt one sister.
Speaker 1: So it is just the one I think I don't
Speaker 1: even know how old they are because in my eyes
Speaker 1: they're still like eighteen. But Tom is the youngest. Well,
Speaker 1: actually you sorry you introduced the kids.
Speaker 2: Yes, I have five.
Speaker 3: I can't remember.
Speaker 2: Name is middle names dated.
Speaker 3: Bird, Tom is twenty eight, the twenty eight, David is
Speaker 3: thirty one, and you are thirty thirty six.
Speaker 2: Nearly forty thirty, thirty.
Speaker 3: Three, thirty seven, and Adam is thirty nine.
Speaker 2: Wow. Like so there's like I had ten year gap
Speaker 2: between the first Yeah. Yeah, And out of all five
Speaker 2: of them, where was Matt ranked in terms of being
Speaker 2: an easy child or being a problem child?
Speaker 3: No, I wouldn't say it was a problem. In fact,
Speaker 3: I was. I suppose looking back, I was quite fortunate
Speaker 3: that the four boys well relatively easy. I didn't have
Speaker 3: big problems. I had big problems with Kate, and at
Speaker 3: a certain age of fifteen, she wanted to do all
Speaker 3: the things that you don't want a fifteen year old
Speaker 3: going to the valley, going to this.
Speaker 1: For those of you who don't know, the valley in
Speaker 1: Brisbane is it's where all the clubs are. So what
Speaker 1: you're trying to say is Kate was the problem.
Speaker 3: I do think I mean, I know you're generalizing, but
Speaker 3: I do think that girls mature quicker, and they just
Speaker 3: think they can do these things earlier. You guys, the
Speaker 3: four of you didn't want to do anything too early.
Speaker 3: When you got to eighteen, that's when you partied more
Speaker 3: and went out more.
Speaker 2: You know of it.
Speaker 1: What was I like as a primary school child versus
Speaker 1: a teenager and then young adults?
Speaker 3: Primary school, you were really into sport, an athlete, but
Speaker 3: that was a good outlet. You know, you just loved
Speaker 3: long distance running.
Speaker 1: USh is very aware of that, so that was that
Speaker 1: was good.
Speaker 3: You loved cricket, so you were pretty passionate about sport.
Speaker 2: Was he naudy at school like at that age?
Speaker 3: Now he wasn't anaudy at school? He did at home
Speaker 3: the mandatory punching his sister in the face to her noseblood,
Speaker 3: You do things like that.
Speaker 1: It was one time.
Speaker 2: Sure it was.
Speaker 3: Sibling rivalry in my family was alive and well, and
Speaker 3: it was usually the older one on the next one
Speaker 3: the rivalry. And I used to say to people, somebody
Speaker 3: is always fighting with somebody else. It really was, And
Speaker 3: that was I think. You go into parenthood and you
Speaker 3: think you're going to have a little house on the prairie,
Speaker 3: and it wasn't for a while, and that was hard.
Speaker 3: But there was a distinct I remember, and I suppose
Speaker 3: the older ones were about fourteen ten, and I listened
Speaker 3: and I thought, they're all in the same room and
Speaker 3: they're not killing each other.
Speaker 1: We were stoned.
Speaker 3: But I remember listening at the door, thinking, oh my god,
Speaker 3: they're talking, they're discussing, they're laughing, they're enjoying each other's company.
Speaker 3: And that was actually your watershed moment that you'd gone
Speaker 3: past this young rivalry and attacking each other and you
Speaker 3: were getting on as young adults, and that was a
Speaker 3: real joy.
Speaker 1: Did you always think you're going to have five? Was
Speaker 1: that the plan when you were growing up? Did you
Speaker 1: think I'm going to have a big family? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Really, yeah, for whatever reason, but I suppose coming from Wales,
Speaker 3: not having my family here, I sort of wanted my tribe.
Speaker 3: I think were.
Speaker 2: There some days where you just like, why the fuck
Speaker 2: a I done this?
Speaker 3: You know, honestly would never have gone that far to
Speaker 3: say I wish I hadn't done this. However, it was hard.
Speaker 3: The first three were three years and one month apart,
Speaker 3: so that was just hard.
Speaker 1: Work.
Speaker 3: I'd go on holiday and by the time I'd put
Speaker 3: some block on everybody and got the snacks together and
Speaker 3: go to the beach, someone needed a nap. It was
Speaker 3: hard to get every.
Speaker 2: Logistics of it because we just had this really warm
Speaker 2: weekend and like I took, I was just on my
Speaker 2: home apriles away and two kids out of the beach
Speaker 2: and it's like an hour to get them.
Speaker 3: Out of the door, to get them at the door,
Speaker 3: and then.
Speaker 2: You're like trying to get them home from the beach
Speaker 2: and the it's just just I don't know how you
Speaker 2: did it with five. I mean, I suppose you just
Speaker 2: did your best and just to see if we make
Speaker 2: it or not.
Speaker 1: What would you say was the hardest transition? Was it
Speaker 1: three to four?
Speaker 2: Four to five?
Speaker 3: The hardest was having three because there was three in
Speaker 3: three years and that was full on. But you realize
Speaker 3: how big families work because with the younger two, do
Speaker 3: you remember you were on duty. I would allocate a
Speaker 3: job to you to look after the little is. It
Speaker 3: would be two of you watching the younger two in
Speaker 3: the bath, getting them dressed, lying down, reading a story.
Speaker 3: And I realized big families work because often families maybe
Speaker 3: only have two and they're eighteen months apart, so they
Speaker 3: kind of grow up together. But by the time Tom
Speaker 3: was born, the youngest Adam was eleven, Kate was ten,
Speaker 3: and you were nine.
Speaker 2: So there were hands to help and I had.
Speaker 3: A Tom roster on the fridge. Everybody, remember, everybody had
Speaker 3: a job to do to help Tom. And it was
Speaker 3: then that I thought, you know, all this is happening.
Speaker 1: I'll just was like, I might have a six again.
Speaker 3: Well if i'd had a husband maybe.
Speaker 2: Now married, and what a shame I've had a sex
Speaker 2: to me, Look, I want to go back to I
Speaker 2: want to ask you a question about Matt's four skin. Okay,
Speaker 2: because this story came as a massive shock to me
Speaker 2: and everybody else.
Speaker 1: I think like part of me is thinking, like, did
Speaker 1: I have I remembered it correctly? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, So that's where I want to find out. So
Speaker 2: it was six. So for those who haven't heard this story,
Speaker 2: I go back to one of our previous episodes Early Day,
Speaker 2: where we talked about Matt was born and kept his
Speaker 2: foreskin until the age of six. But ee, if you
Speaker 2: don't mind just giving an overview of what that was like.
Speaker 3: Decided not on the medical advice and everything was fine,
Speaker 3: and then Matt would just really wee all over the toilet.
Speaker 2: Like an elephant's trunk, and it was.
Speaker 3: Really, this is crazy. How can he missed that big hole?
Speaker 3: And I thought I'd better watch him we And then
Speaker 3: he went to the toilet and I'm not kidding this
Speaker 3: week came out at right angles to his penis and
Speaker 3: I looked at him and thought, what the hell is
Speaker 3: going on? So I didn't want to be too personal
Speaker 3: and manipulate his fore skin. No, I did try, thinking
Speaker 3: this hole is not in the right place, So went
Speaker 3: to the GP. He examined it and said, yeah, you
Speaker 3: got a lot of scar tissue over this portion and
Speaker 3: it's made it go out at right angles. You've got
Speaker 3: to have a circumcision.
Speaker 1: Where was a scar tissue?
Speaker 2: I didn't know he had a five skin?
Speaker 3: No, yeah, there was just some extra skin that had
Speaker 3: gone five skin. Boy, So got to have the circumcision,
Speaker 3: but hadn't obviously a general and had it done. And
Speaker 3: I had this pamphlet of how to care for this
Speaker 3: penis and it was a learning curse.
Speaker 2: Anyone right now, I would love to see the pamphlet
Speaker 2: and says how to care for this penis.
Speaker 1: Do you remember any of the key steps that people
Speaker 1: should be aware of?
Speaker 3: Well, I remember, oh, you had to take the outer
Speaker 3: bandage off, and then used to say line solution, and
Speaker 3: there in bold letters was on day five, completely remove
Speaker 3: the dressing.
Speaker 1: I remember, I'm going to sharp pain in my penis.
Speaker 3: Right now, and it said soaking the bath. So you
Speaker 3: soaked in the bath and you came out and I thought, oh.
Speaker 1: It must have been like day fifteen. But there's a
Speaker 1: like rubbed off or something. Day five. It's quite I
Speaker 1: don't think, just come out of surgery. Mum was there, like,
Speaker 1: let's take off the bandage, and I was like, are
Speaker 1: you sure? Mom? She's like, that's what it says.
Speaker 3: And I looked at that bandage and I thought, look
Speaker 3: stuck on.
Speaker 2: I's currently grabbing hold of his penis.
Speaker 3: It's really important that you take this off. And I
Speaker 3: just had to pick it and whip it off. And
Speaker 3: there's poor kid. I mean, you were doubled up and
Speaker 3: you run around the room holding your penis.
Speaker 1: Can you feel that? I loved?
Speaker 2: I still got mine?
Speaker 3: Oh it was red raw, and I thought maybe I
Speaker 3: shouldn't have done that.
Speaker 2: You've literally ripped it off like a band aid, but
Speaker 2: on the most sensitive part of the anatomy.
Speaker 1: Memory beautiful, God, penis is beautiful, Thanks mom.
Speaker 2: Something I would thought I heard out of Laura's mouth,
Speaker 2: not Matt's mom's mouth. Did you have an option then
Speaker 2: to do the full circuses or be like, hey, would
Speaker 2: they give you an option to like, if you want
Speaker 2: to keep a force skin, we can just take it.
Speaker 3: Was just the only option was totally all or nothing.
Speaker 3: Imagine if they said it like with right angled.
Speaker 2: We imagine if they said, either he goes through his
Speaker 2: life with the right angle, pee, or your chop the
Speaker 2: whole penis off. Oh, right angle, just go the right angle?
Speaker 3: Yeah, be interesting, wouldn't it when you're actually when you're
Speaker 3: thinking about making love? Because normally that sperm would need
Speaker 3: to shoot straight up, but if it was going at
Speaker 3: right angled, it might get lost and not really nowhere.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: About that, but anyway, I'm learning a lot of Matt's
Speaker 2: penis anatomy.
Speaker 1: What was it like as a teenager. I feel like
Speaker 1: I had moments where I was very well behaved, and
Speaker 1: I feel like there were moments and I veered.
Speaker 3: Of course, I don't think you'veered of expelled.
Speaker 1: Expelled, expelled from school camp.
Speaker 3: Well, let's be honest. Matt started a midnight boxing tournament.
Speaker 1: He was on this camp fight club.
Speaker 3: And he and his mate started this.
Speaker 1: On school camp.
Speaker 2: Where was school campout?
Speaker 3: It was it.
Speaker 1: Was like on the farms. You did five weeks.
Speaker 2: I mean, let me go straight. You went on a
Speaker 2: school camp. Was it a boys school?
Speaker 1: Co ed?
Speaker 2: Coed? And you just decided to start a fight club.
Speaker 1: Correct on the camp, but you would have like pillows,
Speaker 1: a pillow fight pillow gloves.
Speaker 2: Let's dainty, but let's go Yeah.
Speaker 3: And so we got a call to say your son
Speaker 3: has been involved in organizing a boxing I.
Speaker 1: Was I was the sacrificial lamb. Oh yeah, okay, I
Speaker 1: wasn't the ringleader, but I was dobbed in by the others.
Speaker 3: So he did have to come home early. The good
Speaker 3: news is that Matt still has retained the championship for
Speaker 3: the midnight box At the.
Speaker 2: Time, how old was it was fifteen, troubling age.
Speaker 1: I was at a pretty strict school and I remember
Speaker 1: I think I was fourteen, and I really wanted to
Speaker 1: have frosted tips, like really badly.
Speaker 2: You and everybody else at fourteen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you let me do it, which is no.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 3: What happened was your auntie, who's a headdresser, came from
Speaker 3: Wales and she had all this bleach and stuff and
Speaker 3: she was showing me how to do it. Never done
Speaker 3: it in my life, and you said, I wouldn't mind
Speaker 3: having highlights. Okay, boy, sit, your mother's going to do it.
Speaker 3: So I did all these highlights and overprocessed it just tad.
Speaker 3: So you did look a little bit over blonde. Anyway,
Speaker 3: you went to school looked great.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I did.
Speaker 2: I'm not picturing it looking.
Speaker 3: And the next day we had what what they called
Speaker 3: the people who controlled the universe.
Speaker 1: Security we had. The school was really strict, so we
Speaker 1: had marshals who that the only job was to just
Speaker 1: make sure that if anyone misbehaved in the school, you
Speaker 1: got dealt with by the marshals.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: So they weren't teachers, that were essentially like police on campus.
Speaker 3: They phoned me and they said, we've noticed that Matthew
Speaker 3: has come with dyed hair. We don't know who would
Speaker 3: have done that to him, and I don't know, I'm
Speaker 3: not sure, but it's unacceptable. He'll have to have his
Speaker 3: hair changed, and then he proceeded to say, this is
Speaker 3: the honest troup. You know, you couldn't go to war
Speaker 3: with a young man who did that, the marshal. The
Speaker 3: marshal actually said military.
Speaker 1: I think he was a vet, though I think it was.
Speaker 2: Did they let you keep the hair?
Speaker 1: No, I had to cut it he had.
Speaker 2: Did they make you cut it or what? That's wild?
Speaker 2: Why did you send him to this school to straighten
Speaker 2: him out?
Speaker 3: No? No, Well it was a strict school, but it
Speaker 3: was a co ed so it was a co ed
Speaker 3: private school and they did have a lot of good things,
Speaker 3: like Ironbach which was a farm and you went for
Speaker 3: a term and you and.
Speaker 1: Good for sport as well.
Speaker 3: And good for sport, it was good for drama.
Speaker 2: Oh that's where he gets it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Would you say you kept us kids on a
Speaker 1: tight leash or did you take the approach of giving
Speaker 1: us total free rerain?
Speaker 3: Do you know? I think when you're a single parent
Speaker 3: that is very hard to keep all your children on
Speaker 3: a tight rain because it's physically you just drown. So
Speaker 3: I wouldn't say I did that, But you didn't push
Speaker 3: that too far your sister did that? You remember that
Speaker 3: you would be part of the team that would hold
Speaker 3: her back in the house so she couldn't go out
Speaker 3: with unsavory individuals.
Speaker 1: Imber I remember. And also she would wag school, so
Speaker 1: we would leave in the morning and she would go
Speaker 1: with other clothes in her backpack, and then she would
Speaker 1: not go to school, and I'd be like, please come
Speaker 1: to school, and she's like, shut up, do what I want.
Speaker 3: Well, interesting thing with that was she had a part
Speaker 3: time job at Mecca's. One Friday afternoon, I was going
Speaker 3: to school late and I hadn't had lunch, and I
Speaker 3: never do this during the day, and I thought, oh,
Speaker 3: I'll get maccas. I'd taken Kate to school that morning,
Speaker 3: and I went through the drive through to order my
Speaker 3: filet of fish burger, the fish filet, and I looked
Speaker 3: up and this was about twelve o'clock and there was
Speaker 3: Kate and I'd taken to the school that morning.
Speaker 2: She worked the drive through. She was working. She could
Speaker 2: have been doing way worse.
Speaker 3: And I just looked at her and I couldn't speak,
Speaker 3: and eventually I said, I will talk to you when
Speaker 3: you get home. And I didn't get my filet.
Speaker 1: I thought, you're going to say I will get one.
Speaker 2: And I will not be paying for it. You should
Speaker 2: have for sure.
Speaker 3: She was quite strong willed and she was a naughty one. Yeah,
Speaker 3: she was a bit naughty.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I love how this has just become like her trash.
Speaker 1: What else did she do wrong as well? She never
Speaker 1: paid you back that two hundred bucks that she owed
Speaker 1: you as well? Did she?
Speaker 2: And like having four boys a lot of testosterone in
Speaker 2: the house and them getting into their teenage years, Matt
Speaker 2: was obviously a bit younger than the older you had
Speaker 2: an older one oldest boy.
Speaker 1: Can I just say this question was asked so many
Speaker 1: times by the perverts of this country, what's wrong with
Speaker 1: you people?
Speaker 2: There was obviously some masturbating happening in the house with
Speaker 2: all these boys.
Speaker 3: I don't think so.
Speaker 2: How many times or if any, did you walk in
Speaker 2: on our young Matthew here I would say pulling the
Speaker 2: skin back, but he didn't have any on there.
Speaker 3: Now, I actually not as often as you would think.
Speaker 2: Not as often, or do you just suspect it?
Speaker 3: There was a time and the name will I will
Speaker 3: not reveal the name of Let's say it wasn't Matt.
Speaker 3: And we just moved into a house and we hadn't
Speaker 3: yet put curtains up, and it was it was morning,
Speaker 3: and I just happened to be outside, passing the window
Speaker 3: and I looked across. Okay, someone's having a good time.
Speaker 3: I shall just walk on by. That's the honest Did
Speaker 3: I see it? Wasn't you?
Speaker 2: Oh well, okay, I did find Are we protecting?
Speaker 3: But I do remember when we were leaving that house
Speaker 3: and unpacking and I had to dismantle your bed. There
Speaker 3: were a number of condoms underneath still in the wrapper. No,
Speaker 3: they had been.
Speaker 2: Jerking off of the condom.
Speaker 1: I was getting busy. I was wearing protection.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's very true.
Speaker 3: Wasn't.
Speaker 1: Let's not mention any names. Okay, I thought there was
Speaker 1: one time though, in the ken Moore house. There was
Speaker 1: one time.
Speaker 2: Did you have any crusty towels? No?
Speaker 1: I never used a towel. I think that I always
Speaker 1: I always thought I was found out. There was one
Speaker 1: night bedrooms were upstairs. Downstairs was like a computer room,
Speaker 1: and then there was like a toilet in like the
Speaker 1: rumpus area. And you must have woken up and seen
Speaker 1: the light was on downstairs late at night, so you
Speaker 1: came downstairs. I was in the bathroom and I'm pretty
Speaker 1: sure I was doing my thing, and I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: you opened the door, remember this, And it was a
Speaker 1: split second and you shut the door and then you
Speaker 1: just said turn the light off when you finished. Do
Speaker 1: you remember that?
Speaker 2: God? Maybe it was k.
Speaker 1: Okay great. I always thought I was found out, so
Speaker 1: we don't.
Speaker 3: But I did find out one more thing. It was
Speaker 3: Echer Day and we always went to Eke.
Speaker 2: For those of you who don't know Ekker, it's kind
Speaker 2: of like the Easterns.
Speaker 3: So your older brother didn't want to go this year,
Speaker 3: and I thought, okay, that's all right, you can stay
Speaker 3: at home. And then we got a telephone bill at
Speaker 3: that time, and there were all these bills to some
Speaker 3: remote island in the Pacific, and it was there were
Speaker 3: hugely expensive.
Speaker 2: It was laundering money.
Speaker 3: It's ridiculous. We don't know anybody who lives on an
Speaker 3: island in the Pacific. I'm under call Telstra. So I
Speaker 3: called him up and I said, I'm looking at the
Speaker 3: telephone bill. It's extraordinary. Ending it went on and on,
Speaker 3: and this poor girl was like yeah, yeah, yeah, trying
Speaker 3: to explain it, and she said, I have to say
Speaker 3: that this does often happen, and it is a pawn size.
Speaker 2: I wonder how many phone calls Telstra got that time,
Speaker 2: in that time when that was so big, because obviously
Speaker 2: now it's all online. Yeah, they must have just been
Speaker 2: like rubbing their hands and.
Speaker 1: As soon as people said the Pacific, they're like.
Speaker 2: Well that's porn porn capital and.
Speaker 3: Then blazed her. She did say, she said, look in
Speaker 3: their defense, once you go into that site, every time
Speaker 3: he tried to get out, it takes you deeper in.
Speaker 3: It's very difficult to get h.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was funny because it opens up three, four,
Speaker 2: five tabs, ten tabs, just all of a sudden.
Speaker 3: And then we looked at the dates that we were.
Speaker 2: Own.
Speaker 1: What would you say was the dumbest thing I ever
Speaker 1: did as a youngster.
Speaker 3: It wasn't. It was a pure accident, but Matt was
Speaker 3: his birthday. We had an outside slide and right in
Speaker 3: the last five minutes he ran and fell back and
Speaker 3: banged his head.
Speaker 1: And we're playing Spotlight ass just people, miss Spotlark. Good game.
Speaker 3: People were about to leave and Matt kept saying, is
Speaker 3: this my partner?
Speaker 2: You knocked yourself out?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, at your party? Why are people here? Kept
Speaker 3: repeating it, and I thought there's something wrong here. So
Speaker 3: we took him to hospital and he kept repeat had concussion.
Speaker 3: But you didn't get into too many unfortunate situations like that,
Speaker 3: did you? But that was a biggie.
Speaker 1: No, I'm it was pretty I mean even I looked
Speaker 1: back and I me and my mate smally like in
Speaker 1: high school we were like, oh, we want to go
Speaker 1: to Europe. Simply finished high school and we've been like
Speaker 1: saving up, like whilst we had jobs, part time jobs
Speaker 1: all through a year eleven and twelve. As soon as
Speaker 1: school finished, we went to Europe. So we were seventeen. Wow,
Speaker 1: that's when we finished school and Smallsey goodbye. And we
Speaker 1: went to Europe when we were seventeen.
Speaker 3: And I have thought I must have been exhausted. One
Speaker 3: is going.
Speaker 2: You go having like five kids, and people always talk
Speaker 2: about like when they start to grow up, you start
Speaker 2: to just worry about what they're doing. Did you worry
Speaker 2: about them much? Would? Were you so confident?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: Oh? No, I think worry is a natural part of parenting.
Speaker 3: Worry is to some extent healthy. It makes you hyper
Speaker 3: vigilant and when you hear things that have happened to others,
Speaker 3: even though it's scary, but it makes you more aware
Speaker 3: and that I think normal. But then for a lot
Speaker 3: of people, including me, there was a period where this
Speaker 3: worrying aspect became unhealthy. It was short lived, but I
Speaker 3: remember just getting anxious if anybody would take them in
Speaker 3: the car.
Speaker 1: How old were we at this time, you would have.
Speaker 3: Been sort of six, only had three then, and I
Speaker 3: didn't want you to stay over at people's houses.
Speaker 1: Did something happen to start that process.
Speaker 3: No, I was just very aware that I was really
Speaker 3: getting super anxious. I was aware of it and was
Speaker 3: quite scared about it. Almost wanted to keep you in
Speaker 3: a wardrobe so you didn't get hurt, because you'd hear
Speaker 3: things on TV and it's horrific, and you just try
Speaker 3: to imagine what if something happened, and knowing that you
Speaker 3: I'd never be able to cope anyway. It was interesting
Speaker 3: that at that time when we used to read Sunday newspapers,
Speaker 3: and there was a magazine and it was a story
Speaker 3: about an environmentalist, a very passionate man who traveled the
Speaker 3: world speaking at conferences, going to governments, trying to remove
Speaker 3: pesticides from the food chain, very passionate man, and he
Speaker 3: dropped dead at forty two and the whole article. It's
Speaker 3: now a syndrome. What happened in that what he worried
Speaker 3: about didn't kill him. The worry killed him caused so
Speaker 3: much stress in his life. And that was like an
Speaker 3: epiphany to me. When I read this, it was almost
Speaker 3: as if it was sent to me, and at that
Speaker 3: moment it was, you know, you have so little control
Speaker 3: what the universe has for you in the future, and
Speaker 3: you've got to kind of give it up. You don't
Speaker 3: want anything to happen, but you've got to just let
Speaker 3: it go and let them have their own lives and
Speaker 3: enjoy each day.
Speaker 1: Does it get easier as we get older? Is it
Speaker 1: out of sight, out of mind?
Speaker 3: It does get easier. I was a little worried, you're
Speaker 3: going to Europe, but you had family to go to.
Speaker 3: But on the converse of that, this sounds a big
Speaker 3: corny but Bett Middler's song The Rose, there's a line
Speaker 3: in that and I really held onto that those who
Speaker 3: are afraid to die never learned to live. And I thought, yeah,
Speaker 3: do I want my kids to live? Do I want
Speaker 3: them to experience all these things? And yes there's danger involved,
Speaker 3: but yes I do want that for them just relinquish
Speaker 3: and say they have their own pathway and you just
Speaker 3: have to hope and.
Speaker 2: Pray that you'll be It's really good advice because you're right.
Speaker 1: What traits then, did you want to try and instill
Speaker 1: into us as kids?
Speaker 3: Everybody is born with this individual genetic mix. You know,
Speaker 3: you've got those genes, but they're mixed together differently. I
Speaker 3: suppose you hope that you will be kind individuals. But
Speaker 3: one thing that now, when I see you all as adults,
Speaker 3: I know that you chan pion at the underdog. You
Speaker 3: all do that.
Speaker 2: I'm an alpha mats.
Speaker 3: There's been a lot of on the news lately of
Speaker 3: citizens arrest, you know, people stepping in because of the crime.
Speaker 3: And I as much as you don't want to put
Speaker 3: your child in danger, but I know that all of you,
Speaker 3: including Kate, if you pass somebody in need, I know
Speaker 3: that you would render assistance. And that's what I would
Speaker 3: hope that you would never And I don't have to
Speaker 3: hope because I know that's what you would do, and
Speaker 3: you did it once. Do you remember on the beach?
Speaker 1: I want to say that I didn't ask my mum
Speaker 1: to tell these stories.
Speaker 3: Please continue, Please put me up go, but do you
Speaker 3: remember on the beach there was a man that was
Speaker 3: attacking somebody and you.
Speaker 1: Hero, well, look, we're at Barron and we had an
Speaker 1: afternoon flight and we had a couple of hours to
Speaker 1: kill where we'd already checked out. We went to the
Speaker 1: main pub and Byron was a little park in front
Speaker 1: of them, so we had lunch. Their kids were on
Speaker 1: the swing, and we kind of noticed in the car
Speaker 1: park there were these kids who were like really roy recently,
Speaker 1: oh maybe like a couple of years ago.
Speaker 2: So you had Maley, yeah.
Speaker 1: Marley, I don't think Lola was around then, and we
Speaker 1: kind of you could hear these kids, like you know,
Speaker 1: music blurring in the car park and they were kind
Speaker 1: of getting rowdy and rowdy and they sounded like having
Speaker 1: a few arguments amongst each other. And then as we
Speaker 1: were like literally in the park, this one of the
Speaker 1: kids came across and was like swearing at himself and yelling.
Speaker 1: He was like fucking hell rah. And then this lovely
Speaker 1: elderly couple were kind of like almost power walking and
Speaker 1: active wear along the footpath and he just like blined
Speaker 1: for them and fly kicked what Yeah, And then there's
Speaker 1: a lovely family as a Fijian dad and he was
Speaker 1: like solid And when that happened, we kind of looked
Speaker 1: at each other and just gave each other and not
Speaker 1: we just started running.
Speaker 2: He was like let's go.
Speaker 1: Why boy, He was looking at me as like don't
Speaker 1: you don't need to I've got this cover, and I.
Speaker 2: Was like, just come to even it out.
Speaker 1: He just picked me up and ran with me.
Speaker 2: Used you as a weapon.
Speaker 1: We tackled this guy and that pinned it down. And
Speaker 1: there's a statue of the environ base what that is?
Speaker 1: Police came in like two seconds.
Speaker 2: Wow, and mate, you're just just a hero of the citizens.
Speaker 2: Had you had to drag your mummy in on the
Speaker 2: podcast just so that you could get that story. Thanks,
Speaker 2: thank you for setting him up with that one. Look,
Speaker 2: it's it is a good trait to have.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I know it's scary. You know, you don't
Speaker 3: want them to step in and get harmed. But I
Speaker 3: don't think I'm a woman, an older woman, but if
Speaker 3: someone if I passed someone in need, i'd have to.
Speaker 2: If you ever get fly kicked by a crack head,
Speaker 2: Ellie's going to come in and save the day.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 2: Just switching gears a little bit again, because that's what
Speaker 2: I'm best at. Is there anything growing up like Matt
Speaker 2: growing up that you've caught him out on that you've
Speaker 2: actually never told him that you've found out about? Anything
Speaker 2: that comes to mind? Big question? I know, dicover something.
Speaker 1: We were pretty much an open book.
Speaker 2: Look, there's always going to be something, right, whether she
Speaker 2: remembers it now or down the track, and she texts
Speaker 2: me later about what it is.
Speaker 3: But you're quite honestly, nothing major comes to mind because.
Speaker 1: I tell you everything anyway.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're very honest with each other. How well, Yes,
Speaker 3: I don't know whether I should say yes she did,
Speaker 3: go go go, but no names, no names.
Speaker 2: There's one of these brothers, okay, who.
Speaker 3: Went to Canada and asked me to send his drive
Speaker 3: license to Canada for him. And I did that, and
Speaker 3: I kept checking, has the license arrived because you're leaving soon?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, hadn't arrived, hadn't arrived. Eventually he
Speaker 3: came home and a couple of weeks after that, this
Speaker 3: package arrived, this envelope, and it was quite thick, and
Speaker 3: I thought, ah, his his license. And I did something
Speaker 3: that honestly I never would do. I thought it was
Speaker 3: his license. I opened up the envelope and it was
Speaker 3: a birthday card, and I opened your card.
Speaker 1: No one's having a birthday in this household.
Speaker 3: And as I opened the card, I saw about ten
Speaker 3: little pouches of white So I drug bill. I'd closed
Speaker 3: the envelope. I'd closed the card, put it back in
Speaker 3: the envelope, put it on the hall stand, and didn't
Speaker 3: know what to do. I thought, I think there could
Speaker 3: be police just hovering outside the show.
Speaker 2: So you've discovered that someone in the house is essentially
Speaker 2: smuggling drugs into the house.
Speaker 1: And it came home, the house is spotless, nine bags
Speaker 1: were remaining.
Speaker 2: And did you just not say anything like what really
Speaker 2: incriminating this guy.
Speaker 3: Anyway? He I didn't, Honestly, I did not know how
Speaker 3: to handle that.
Speaker 2: The Johnson family or the Jamelle Golby family.
Speaker 3: So I just left it on the hall stand. Obviously
Speaker 3: it had been opened to see what reaction went down
Speaker 3: the toilet or anything.
Speaker 2: Did you leave it there to see what the reaction
Speaker 2: would be once? Yeah, yeah, so that he will remain nameless.
Speaker 3: And he was very apologetic, and he was shocked that
Speaker 3: I'd found out.
Speaker 2: And it had come from Canada.
Speaker 3: Wow, much cheaper in Canada, did you say?
Speaker 2: Okay? So he was on the way home from Canada,
Speaker 2: thought I'm going to get some sent home. So when
Speaker 2: I go no, no, this.
Speaker 3: Was this was sent he said by a friend.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, right right right, Well there you did you
Speaker 2: know that?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: You did know that.
Speaker 1: Yes, I taught him how to do it, just to confirm.
Speaker 2: It wasn't Matt. For those we have this segment called lies,
Speaker 2: where we actively admit to lying to our kids, and
Speaker 2: so does the listeners they send in. Are there any
Speaker 2: lies that you remember telling Matt growing up, like any
Speaker 2: parenting lies?
Speaker 3: No, not with Matt, but there was one with Kate.
Speaker 2: Does Kate know this lie? Is like it's a lie?
Speaker 2: Or she probably know now, but you didn't actually say
Speaker 2: you rememory She say that it was okay.
Speaker 3: I haven't actively gone back to her and said, hey,
Speaker 3: you know that question you are?
Speaker 1: Is it about a dead pet?
Speaker 3: I don't know. It's much worse. Please, Ka don't want
Speaker 3: to hear this.
Speaker 2: Yes we do.
Speaker 3: Kate was about fourteen, just getting to know about sex
Speaker 3: and explaining to her, trying to be honest. She was
Speaker 3: taking it all in and there was this book that
Speaker 3: she were going through together, and she thought for a
Speaker 3: while and said, Mom, have you ever had oral sex?
Speaker 1: Oh? My dear goodness.
Speaker 3: And at that moment everything be honest with your children.
Speaker 3: And I looked at her and I said, no, darling.
Speaker 1: See mom is actually a cock monster.
Speaker 3: I can't I can't see that could go to air
Speaker 3: because Kate would disown me.
Speaker 2: Kate, but your mom has had oral sex before?
Speaker 1: I hate right now listening to the podcast.
Speaker 3: No. There was another funny anecdote. We were in Wales
Speaker 3: visiting my mother, their grandmother, small bathroom. Were all in
Speaker 3: the bathroom together and Kate went to the toilet and
Speaker 3: Adam looked and he said, where's Kate's penis? And I said, well,
Speaker 3: she doesn't have a penis, and he said, oh, well,
Speaker 3: what does she have? He was about seven, And I thought,
Speaker 3: for a split second, I will call it what it is,
Speaker 3: so I said, she has a vagina. And he looked,
Speaker 3: and he nodded and went out. Didn't repeat the word.
Speaker 3: That afternoon, off we went to the local park, absolutely
Speaker 3: full of picnickers, and these three teenage girls befriended us
Speaker 3: and they played with you, and they were great then
Speaker 3: the time came for them to leave, and I said,
Speaker 3: say say goodbye of the girls, and one of the
Speaker 3: girls was called Virginia. So Adamnan in his loudest voice
Speaker 3: saying see ya Vagina. You could feel all these picnicers
Speaker 3: or little children going.
Speaker 2: Oh God, that's one of those things where it's like
Speaker 2: just the kid just doesn't know.
Speaker 3: And it was that was honesty that did not pay.
Speaker 1: I don't know if there's an answer to this question.
Speaker 1: So if there's not, it's totally fine. And I'm going
Speaker 1: to put you on the spot here when you look
Speaker 1: back at the years of parenting with all of us,
Speaker 1: maybe it's just me any mistakes that you made, do.
Speaker 3: You know what? I think? Parenting is honestly the hardest
Speaker 3: job you will ever do. There are no guidelines because
Speaker 3: each child is so different. So if you feel you
Speaker 3: have got through parenting without making mistakes, you are delusional.
Speaker 3: We all will make mistakes, hopefully some on the smaller
Speaker 3: side rather than But yes, I've made mistakes, and I
Speaker 3: don't have to go into exactly what they were. But
Speaker 3: something was sent to me that was one particular thing
Speaker 3: that I have regretted, and it was getting to me.
Speaker 3: And there's a Buddhist saying that when you make a mistake,
Speaker 3: it is a life lesson, not a life sentence.
Speaker 1: Unless it's murder, yes, or drug trafficking. I agree.
Speaker 3: I'm to say that we all of us have the
Speaker 3: potential to relieve that moment, to beat ourselves up over it.
Speaker 3: And when I saw that, I thought, yeah, it's not
Speaker 3: a life sentence. You've got to learn from it and
Speaker 3: then move on.
Speaker 2: And as we all know, the whole nation knows, Matt
Speaker 2: was the Bachelor.
Speaker 1: Oh what was he?
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was also on the Bachelorette, but we'll skip
Speaker 2: that part because I don't want to see him cry again.
Speaker 2: Oh I'm sorry. What were your initial thoughts? Not every
Speaker 2: mom can say my you know, my son was on
Speaker 2: reality TV? What was your initial thoughts on that?
Speaker 3: Okay? When I remember distangly the conversation phone me and
Speaker 3: he said, applied for this and there's auditions, and I
Speaker 3: was not a fan of reality television. And I remember saying,
Speaker 3: you really really want.
Speaker 2: To do this?
Speaker 3: He said yeah, yeah, it'll be a bit of fun, yeah,
Speaker 3: in between jobs, and I went, oh, okay. And then
Speaker 3: a little while later you must have told Kate, and
Speaker 3: Kate and I were both saying, what the hell is
Speaker 3: he doing?
Speaker 2: But no, you know, obviously went well, we got two kids.
Speaker 3: I mean, if I'd been asked to place money on
Speaker 3: a bed, I would have thought, no, this isn't going
Speaker 3: to work. And that's probably been the biggest shock. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but it didn't just work. It brought two people together
Speaker 3: who should be together. And Laura is my daughter, my
Speaker 3: second daughter. And the weird thing is it was weird
Speaker 3: going to Thailand, never having met two girls Elise and Laura,
Speaker 3: I had to interview. That should have been super weird,
Speaker 3: shouldn't it weird? These girls who are vying for Matt's attention.
Speaker 2: Try not to tell them about the six skin.
Speaker 3: But they were both of those girls who were lovely.
Speaker 3: But when Laura and I sat down, and it sounds corny,
Speaker 3: but it was as if I'd known her for years,
Speaker 3: it was the most beautiful thing.
Speaker 2: And imagine if you chose the other one after that, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: yeah that or did the honey badger and just took off.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, you and Laura do have a really great relationship,
Speaker 1: and I do, and I feel bad for other people
Speaker 1: out there who don't have great relationships with their mother
Speaker 1: in laws. But would you have any advice for maybe
Speaker 1: if there's any women out there who will down the
Speaker 1: line become a mother in law, how can they have
Speaker 1: a good relationship with their child's partner.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's an impossible question because there are so many layers.
Speaker 3: First of all, like we all know, with friendships, you've
Speaker 3: just got to gel and sometimes you meet them for
Speaker 3: the first time and there's common interest and it's easy.
Speaker 3: And with your mother in law, I think the one
Speaker 3: thing never to criticize her son. It would be very
Speaker 3: easy once you get to know them really well. You know,
Speaker 3: you go, gosh, she does no because in her eyes
Speaker 3: you're criticizing her. Yes, Yeah, good advice and I'm going.
Speaker 2: Doesn't say a bad word about me again.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Try to look at your own little boy or daughter
Speaker 3: and imagine that one day someone is going to be
Speaker 3: more important in their lives than you are, and how
Speaker 3: you would feel.
Speaker 1: I think that's it's difficult for some mums to accept.
Speaker 2: And let go. Yeah, because there's there's always those cringy
Speaker 2: things on the line where it's just like your mum's
Speaker 2: your first love. It's like that's a bit much.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean, just a little bit too much,
Speaker 1: Like I think it's maybe easier. Maybe tell me if
Speaker 1: this is wrong. When you have five kids, you kind
Speaker 1: of you are happy for them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you got one boy, if you got one child, one.
Speaker 1: Boy, three in the way, all still single.
Speaker 2: If anyone if anyone's looking for a drug meal or
Speaker 2: just reached out to Math's mom, I think, look solid advice,
Speaker 2: and look, my mom and my wife get on. I
Speaker 2: get on with my wife's mom. There's no you know,
Speaker 2: we're pretty open and pretty yeah, but you can imagine
Speaker 2: that there's somehow the that justa and you see it.
Speaker 2: They made a reality TV show about that as well.
Speaker 2: I remember when I said to my mom, what if
Speaker 2: I was on Big Brother? And my mum straight said,
Speaker 2: I disown you what that was. That's what came out
Speaker 2: of her mouth before I even told her that I
Speaker 2: was through these stages. And I was like, that's fine
Speaker 2: with me. But yeah, so you're very accepting of that,
Speaker 2: which is.
Speaker 3: But I think you have to support your kid.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think whatever direction apart from drug meal, yeah, in
Speaker 3: ever direction they're going, yeah you go.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think when I eventually was like this is
Speaker 2: where I'm actually just had to be like, oh, shit,
Speaker 2: I can't go. Am I going to go back on
Speaker 2: my word that I will disown you? It's like, well,
Speaker 2: that's your problem. One final question from me Matt's crocs.
Speaker 2: What are your thoughts on crocs?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 3: I don't wear them, but people can. It's the sort
Speaker 3: of thing no people can, but you know, they either
Speaker 3: look silly on you, and it looks really silly on
Speaker 3: me because maybe I'm little, but I don't mind them.
Speaker 1: Let's leave it at that.
Speaker 3: I want to say one thing.
Speaker 1: Okay, well hang on before you get into that. A
Speaker 1: lot of people actually asked your beauty. Oh yeah, because
Speaker 1: you're seventy three. You look amazing.
Speaker 2: You don't have to tell me twice Matthew.
Speaker 3: One, shit, how dare you?
Speaker 1: You're eighty five and you look great. I look at
Speaker 1: your seventy one. I've been telling everyone your seventy three.
Speaker 2: So apologies, yeah, apologies, yeah, Look that's not on.
Speaker 1: What is your beauty secrets?
Speaker 2: Ellie?
Speaker 3: Look a little bit of everything except not the spurm
Speaker 3: on the face. You've heard about it, not yet anyway,
Speaker 3: not doing that. Look, I find this question just a
Speaker 3: tad embarrassing really, because you.
Speaker 2: Just take care of yourself.
Speaker 3: I do you know, Yeah, I suppose I take care
Speaker 3: of myself.
Speaker 2: I do something wrong with saying that I take care
Speaker 2: of yourself. I take care of myself. As you can see,
Speaker 2: I'm actually fifty five.
Speaker 1: How about with Marley and Lola, what traits do you
Speaker 1: see in them which you think they've gotten from me?
Speaker 3: Okay, it's still hard when they're this young, but I
Speaker 3: certainly see and I see Marley, who physically looks more
Speaker 3: like you, and Lola, who physically looks more like Laura. However,
Speaker 3: Marley has the artistic bent. I mean, it's obvious. She's
Speaker 3: very artistic.
Speaker 2: She's really clever, She's like little Laura. Yeah. When I
Speaker 2: when I met Marley before I met Laura, and then
Speaker 2: so i'd met Marley and how like she's really intelligent
Speaker 2: and even the way she kind of carries herself. And
Speaker 2: then I met Laura went, ah, yeah, that's where it
Speaker 2: comes from.
Speaker 3: So that's something that is from Laura. But the other
Speaker 3: thing I noticed, Matt being the middle child, it was
Speaker 3: always look at me, look at me, look at me.
Speaker 1: He still like that, look at me.
Speaker 3: That's why he went into drama and film and television
Speaker 3: courses and did that. But I'm beginning to see a
Speaker 3: little bit of that in Marley. I mean maybe both
Speaker 3: of them. But Marley, if you start to film her,
Speaker 3: she will change. She'll really respond.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I saw that video of her doing the singing
Speaker 2: to you guys with the hairbrush.
Speaker 1: She loves a little concert.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Because Matt, I have to say, am I correct in saying? Matt?
Speaker 3: You're not artistically art wise creative? You don't draw.
Speaker 2: Wait, you're not perfect, you are, but you are creative.
Speaker 1: I like to I like to draw. When I was younger,
Speaker 1: I really enjoyed drawing. I don't draw up much anymore,
Speaker 1: but I still like, you know, I love coming up
Speaker 1: with skip video ideas.
Speaker 3: Now that's where you're creative, lies coming up.
Speaker 2: You've got a good your ideas man. I'm the creative
Speaker 2: director and you're the ideas man.
Speaker 3: But your natural trait all through has been humor. You
Speaker 3: have been our entertainment at home, quick with with comebacks,
Speaker 3: make any situation funny. And I'm thinking that even Lola
Speaker 3: physically looks like Laura, Yeah she does, but I think
Speaker 3: she's going to be the funny one. I think Molly
Speaker 3: is a little more even though she loves the entertaining,
Speaker 3: but a little bit more serious. But then they change.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess Laura and I are so similar in
Speaker 1: personality times, but also in looks as well. Yeah. Literally,
Speaker 1: people are like are they siblings? Are they?
Speaker 2: It's funny like the two girls, because the other day
Speaker 2: when I rang you and it like we're both having
Speaker 2: a shit morning, and Marley's like the very distinct differences
Speaker 2: in your two kids. Marley's like ash like over look,
Speaker 2: I can click, and she's taking and all I can
Speaker 2: hear in the background is Lola going, And it was
Speaker 2: like that sums them up. Sometimes Lola is a little
Speaker 2: bit more like crazy what I see. But then Marley's
Speaker 2: like every time I've spoken to Marley's just like quiet,
Speaker 2: knows what she's saying and like really articulate with it.
Speaker 2: And when she's like, look, I can click, it was
Speaker 2: just like I was having a conversation with someone, not
Speaker 2: a four year old.
Speaker 3: She clicks, Well, yeah, amazing.
Speaker 2: She's good. You put the thing is, I've got a
Speaker 2: four year old two. You put those two together, and
Speaker 2: Marley's way ahead of Oscar. And when we thought, like Oscars,
Speaker 2: you got a cabillary is amazing, But like put in
Speaker 2: next someone like a girl the same age. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: very different.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a question that we got, like so many of them.
Speaker 1: They're all about how do you still have a good
Speaker 1: relationship with your parent as an adult. And I think
Speaker 1: it's a really tough one to answer because we've been
Speaker 1: really fortunate that we've always just been really close. I think,
Speaker 1: obviously you love your child and you love your parent,
Speaker 1: but then whether or not you like each other and
Speaker 1: you have a good friendship in addition to having that
Speaker 1: parental love is a different thing. And we've always been
Speaker 1: super fortunate that, you know, from a really early age,
Speaker 1: Like you talk about me not really being too naughty,
Speaker 1: and I wholeheartedly mean this. When whenever there was a scenario,
Speaker 1: you know, when I did get in trouble, or if
Speaker 1: there was a situation where I if I had done
Speaker 1: a certain thing, I could have gotten in a lot
Speaker 1: of trouble. One of the reasons that I didn't do
Speaker 1: that is because I never wanted to disappoint you more
Speaker 1: so than like, would I actually get in trouble for this?
Speaker 1: It would always be a question of, like, with this,
Speaker 1: disappoint mum. And that's why I think you didn't have
Speaker 1: to keep us on a really tight leash, and then
Speaker 1: what kind of closeness is just carried on through Like
Speaker 1: you've always been like my confidant, Like any situation or advice,
Speaker 1: I've always like gone off. I don't ask mum's opinion,
Speaker 1: Like even though with Bachelor you're the first person that
Speaker 1: I called up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's nice that you feel that my opinion is valid.
Speaker 3: But I do think a few people have asked, you know,
Speaker 3: how to how do you get close to your children?
Speaker 3: And again there's so many layers. One layer is luck
Speaker 3: that you just click. The other layer is time that
Speaker 3: you make sure that you give a huge amount of
Speaker 3: time to your children, that you always try to be
Speaker 3: there when they need you. And that maybe leads on
Speaker 3: to the issue of another partner in your life. And
Speaker 3: I see that a lot in friends who've introduced a partner.
Speaker 3: That is a rocky road. Whether you are blending family
Speaker 3: with young children, with teenagers and even adults, it's very
Speaker 3: hard to make everybody happy where there's a new individual.
Speaker 3: It's very very difficult. And I've come to the I
Speaker 3: say to people when they're having difficulty with step children
Speaker 3: who are adults, and when you introduce another person into
Speaker 3: the family. You've got to imagine that your thirty one
Speaker 3: year old kid is actually ten years old, because that's
Speaker 3: how they're feeling. When you bring a new person into
Speaker 3: the family area, it's a very very different dynam the
Speaker 3: energy you need to look after kids, to go to work,
Speaker 3: and then to try to find a partner. That's very hard,
Speaker 3: and I feel very fortunate that I didn't feel that need.
Speaker 3: And it sounds a little bit, oh, you know, I
Speaker 3: sacrificed myself to my children. I don't see it that
Speaker 3: way some people might, but I really took in giving
Speaker 3: my time to you and to my job. I think
Speaker 3: that's helped us, do you think.
Speaker 1: Man, Yeah, yeah, I do, you know.
Speaker 3: And I I don't regret it, because my greatest achievement
Speaker 3: in my life if I had been the first female
Speaker 3: astronaut to land on the Moon, I can tell you
Speaker 3: now that my biggest achievement in life has been my
Speaker 3: children and grandchildren. And I know it's hard. People out
Speaker 3: there will say yes, but I deserve a life too,
Speaker 3: and I get that, so it's a tricky one, but
Speaker 3: I just feel grateful that I didn't have that need.
Speaker 3: But I do remember Matt once saying to me, but
Speaker 3: aren't there times when you really want a big fat cop.
Speaker 2: And that's a really, really good place.
Speaker 1: And your answer to that question was heck, yeah, you
Speaker 1: know what the.
Speaker 3: Answer was, how do you know I'm not getting oh shit?
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, look, I'm super excited to have you on
Speaker 2: the podcast and thank you so much and answering our questions,
Speaker 2: especially the forskin questions.
Speaker 1: It would be remiss of me not to take the
Speaker 1: opportunity to say thank you as a son, because I
Speaker 1: think you talk about luck and you talk about how
Speaker 1: fortunate you are to be given the children that you've
Speaker 1: been gifted, But at the same time, I'm so insanely
Speaker 1: lucky that I've been given you as a as a parent.
Speaker 1: I'm probably gonna cry when I talk about this. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I just can leave the room, no, but I just
Speaker 1: want to say, you know, the only reason why I
Speaker 1: am who I am today is because of you. Know,
Speaker 1: what you have given me and what you've encouraged me
Speaker 1: to take on and the past I've traveled. So you know,
Speaker 1: I'm only sitting here because of what I feel you
Speaker 1: have given me and how you have parented me. So
Speaker 1: you've done such an amazing job. I love you very much.
Speaker 3: I love you.
Speaker 2: Wow, this is very sweet. I feel like I'm third willing,
Speaker 2: But Matthew, thank you for me very vulnerable in that moment.
Speaker 2: I'm not rolling my ears at you at all.
Speaker 1: Well, Ellie, thank you so much for jumping on the podcast,
Speaker 1: putting up with Ash and myself for this. God, you
Speaker 1: did a great job.
Speaker 3: I won't charge too much.
Speaker 2: No good you need voice Me's It'll be in the.
Speaker 3: Mail, I'm sure.
Speaker 1: Normally at the end we ask people to review subscribe,
Speaker 1: leaves a number of stars. If you'd like to, you
Speaker 1: can encourage them to do the same.
Speaker 3: Don't forget to review and subscribe.
Speaker 2: Yes, if you've liked this episode, As Ellie said, don't
Speaker 2: forget to review and subscribe. Also follow us on Instagram.
Speaker 2: Maybe we'll get one of my parents on sometime within
Speaker 2: your future. I hope not. Maybe Dad, Maybe I don't
Speaker 2: think Mum would be booking. But anyway, thank you again
Speaker 2: and thank you everyone for listening. That's all a good
Speaker 2: time for.
Speaker 1: Two Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
Speaker 1: throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present,
Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
Speaker 2: peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land.