WEBVTT - Two Doting Dads and a Mum feat. Ellie Johnson (Matt's Mum) 0:00:00.560 --> 0:00:01.599 You fold or scrunch. 0:00:02.160 --> 0:00:03.720 I do that when you wrap it around your hand 0:00:03.760 --> 0:00:06.320 like that, and it's like, yeah, let me call that. 0:00:06.360 --> 0:00:07.240 Now that's a fold. 0:00:07.240 --> 0:00:10.920 I'd say it's a I think it. Do you think 0:00:10.960 --> 0:00:11.760 I do? Young? 0:00:12.000 --> 0:00:13.240 Do you sit or do you stand? 0:00:13.280 --> 0:00:13.760 I stand? 0:00:13.960 --> 0:00:18.240 Yeah? Right, you I stand stand. 0:00:21.000 --> 0:00:22.680 It said, you're not. 0:00:22.760 --> 0:00:26.200 You've got the credits. You stand. You've got an open. 0:00:41.640 --> 0:00:46.120 Welcome back to two doting dads and one mom slash Nana. 0:00:46.520 --> 0:00:47.599 Yeah my name? 0:00:47.680 --> 0:00:54.000 You know you's that? I say? 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:55.960 I'm Maddy Jay your third? 0:00:56.120 --> 0:00:56.800 Yeah, your third? 0:00:56.880 --> 0:00:58.280 Yeah, I should know my place. 0:00:59.640 --> 0:01:01.920 I I'm Matty Jo. 0:01:02.200 --> 0:01:03.720 You've got to tell me that you've got to give 0:01:03.760 --> 0:01:04.440 me more direction. 0:01:04.800 --> 0:01:05.600 I actually did. 0:01:05.680 --> 0:01:08.880 I did. I clearly remember saying that Ash will introduce 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:10.920 himself and then you will talk. 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:12.680 This is going to go swimming. 0:01:13.200 --> 0:01:13.959 I am Mattie J. 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:22.040 Now you go, and I am Ellie and I am matt. 0:01:22.280 --> 0:01:27.679 Just just a name. No, sorry, continue continue? 0:01:27.720 --> 0:01:30.080 That was it? I think was it? That's good. 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:31.920 I think that was really good. 0:01:32.360 --> 0:01:33.800 Would you like me to do it again? 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:36.120 No? That's why there's two bigger. This is a podcast 0:01:36.200 --> 0:01:38.160 all about the good, the bad, and the relatable of 0:01:38.240 --> 0:01:41.440 parenting and of course today we have Matt's mum here 0:01:41.520 --> 0:01:45.199 to get to the bottom of why and how Matt 0:01:45.440 --> 0:01:50.120 is why he is like that he is. 0:01:51.200 --> 0:01:53.480 Can I just say, Mum, if at any point you 0:01:53.520 --> 0:01:56.840 feel uncomfortable around Ash, please let me know. 0:01:56.960 --> 0:01:59.040 What about me? What if I feel uncomfortable? 0:01:59.120 --> 0:02:03.320 I've just since if you were right just being very 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:06.200 uncomfortable around the two of you. 0:02:07.200 --> 0:02:09.359 Well, do you want to start calling me dad now 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:10.519 or at the end of the podcast. 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:16.480 It's great to have mom here. This episode is going 0:02:16.520 --> 0:02:18.560 to be a little bit different because normally we have 0:02:18.880 --> 0:02:23.399 guests on a bonus episode. However, however, right now when 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:24.680 this comes out, Ash. 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:27.360 Will be balls deep in some bintang in Bali. 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:30.040 He is on holiday. So we have pre recorded this 0:02:30.120 --> 0:02:32.760 episode with my mother. So it's not going to be 0:02:32.760 --> 0:02:35.040 a normal episode in that we don't have the lies, 0:02:35.080 --> 0:02:38.080 we don't have ordinary parenting as a segment. It's just 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:39.760 going to be with my mother dearest. 0:02:40.000 --> 0:02:42.520 Yes, And even though we don't have those segments, we 0:02:42.560 --> 0:02:45.680 do have some other juicy things about to ask about foreskins. 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:48.960 So a few people had suggested we get our parents 0:02:48.960 --> 0:02:52.800 on here, and it just so happened that Laura is 0:02:52.919 --> 0:02:56.520 well a time of recording. Laura is away in Bali 0:02:56.880 --> 0:03:00.560 and at the same time, by pure coincidence, my sister 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:03.360 was moving house, so Mum was coming down. It's worked 0:03:03.360 --> 0:03:07.120 out perfectly. So I've hijacked my mum, roped her into 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:09.480 being in my house so I can get some help 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:10.680 with the kids, and we. 0:03:10.639 --> 0:03:12.120 Thought chuck her on the pod. 0:03:12.680 --> 0:03:14.600 So mom should be packing boxes at my. 0:03:14.560 --> 0:03:16.760 Sister's out instead, she's here talking with us. 0:03:16.760 --> 0:03:18.760 So we're doing your favor, thanks, Matte. 0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:20.239 Plenty of time to pack boxes. 0:03:20.400 --> 0:03:21.880 Yeah, this is actually gonna be a busy day for you. 0:03:21.880 --> 0:03:24.600 You're going to have a podcasts in the morning, packing 0:03:24.600 --> 0:03:27.560 boxes in the afternoon, and then you're also doing daycare 0:03:27.600 --> 0:03:31.080 pickup as well. And if we could have dinner ready 0:03:31.120 --> 0:03:34.400 by six, I'd love that. Maybe roast chicken. 0:03:36.280 --> 0:03:38.880 So for those of you, Matt's mum had five kids. 0:03:39.320 --> 0:03:40.560 All right, Matt, you're. 0:03:40.400 --> 0:03:42.440 The middle I am the middle child. 0:03:42.480 --> 0:03:44.000 Would you say Matt's your favorite? 0:03:45.720 --> 0:03:48.200 Not going to get me out on that one. Now, 0:03:48.320 --> 0:03:50.520 I love all my children equally. 0:03:50.800 --> 0:03:56.200 Yeah, that's what I say too. However, however, and being 0:03:56.240 --> 0:03:59.600 the middle child, you've got how many sisters, Matt one sister. 0:03:59.480 --> 0:04:02.880 So it is just the one I think I don't 0:04:02.920 --> 0:04:05.040 even know how old they are because in my eyes 0:04:05.040 --> 0:04:08.400 they're still like eighteen. But Tom is the youngest. Well, 0:04:08.400 --> 0:04:10.080 actually you sorry you introduced the kids. 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:11.680 Yes, I have five. 0:04:11.800 --> 0:04:12.640 I can't remember. 0:04:14.560 --> 0:04:16.040 Name is middle names dated. 0:04:15.800 --> 0:04:20.920 Bird, Tom is twenty eight, the twenty eight, David is 0:04:21.640 --> 0:04:27.560 thirty one, and you are thirty thirty six. 0:04:27.440 --> 0:04:30.760 Nearly forty thirty, thirty. 0:04:30.480 --> 0:04:35.280 Three, thirty seven, and Adam is thirty nine. 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:38.479 Wow. Like so there's like I had ten year gap 0:04:38.520 --> 0:04:43.120 between the first Yeah. Yeah, And out of all five 0:04:43.200 --> 0:04:46.800 of them, where was Matt ranked in terms of being 0:04:46.839 --> 0:04:50.560 an easy child or being a problem child? 0:04:50.839 --> 0:04:54.200 No, I wouldn't say it was a problem. In fact, 0:04:54.320 --> 0:04:57.440 I was. I suppose looking back, I was quite fortunate 0:04:57.560 --> 0:05:02.480 that the four boys well relatively easy. I didn't have 0:05:02.640 --> 0:05:07.800 big problems. I had big problems with Kate, and at 0:05:07.839 --> 0:05:11.000 a certain age of fifteen, she wanted to do all 0:05:11.040 --> 0:05:13.800 the things that you don't want a fifteen year old 0:05:14.080 --> 0:05:15.680 going to the valley, going to this. 0:05:15.920 --> 0:05:18.040 For those of you who don't know, the valley in 0:05:18.080 --> 0:05:23.000 Brisbane is it's where all the clubs are. So what 0:05:23.000 --> 0:05:24.960 you're trying to say is Kate was the problem. 0:05:28.120 --> 0:05:30.520 I do think I mean, I know you're generalizing, but 0:05:30.640 --> 0:05:33.560 I do think that girls mature quicker, and they just 0:05:33.640 --> 0:05:37.760 think they can do these things earlier. You guys, the 0:05:37.839 --> 0:05:42.159 four of you didn't want to do anything too early. 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:45.760 When you got to eighteen, that's when you partied more 0:05:45.839 --> 0:05:46.799 and went out more. 0:05:46.760 --> 0:05:47.280 You know of it. 0:05:49.720 --> 0:05:54.120 What was I like as a primary school child versus 0:05:54.160 --> 0:05:56.320 a teenager and then young adults? 0:05:56.560 --> 0:06:01.960 Primary school, you were really into sport, an athlete, but 0:06:02.040 --> 0:06:05.040 that was a good outlet. You know, you just loved 0:06:05.240 --> 0:06:06.360 long distance running. 0:06:07.000 --> 0:06:10.560 USh is very aware of that, so that was that 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:11.039 was good. 0:06:11.920 --> 0:06:15.720 You loved cricket, so you were pretty passionate about sport. 0:06:16.279 --> 0:06:18.480 Was he naudy at school like at that age? 0:06:19.400 --> 0:06:22.640 Now he wasn't anaudy at school? He did at home 0:06:22.920 --> 0:06:27.039 the mandatory punching his sister in the face to her noseblood, 0:06:27.440 --> 0:06:28.600 You do things like that. 0:06:28.720 --> 0:06:29.520 It was one time. 0:06:30.800 --> 0:06:31.680 Sure it was. 0:06:32.760 --> 0:06:37.560 Sibling rivalry in my family was alive and well, and 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:41.080 it was usually the older one on the next one 0:06:41.600 --> 0:06:44.880 the rivalry. And I used to say to people, somebody 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:48.240 is always fighting with somebody else. It really was, And 0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:52.159 that was I think. You go into parenthood and you 0:06:52.279 --> 0:06:54.400 think you're going to have a little house on the prairie, 0:06:54.720 --> 0:06:58.040 and it wasn't for a while, and that was hard. 0:06:58.320 --> 0:07:02.120 But there was a distinct I remember, and I suppose 0:07:02.200 --> 0:07:07.799 the older ones were about fourteen ten, and I listened 0:07:08.120 --> 0:07:10.560 and I thought, they're all in the same room and 0:07:10.600 --> 0:07:11.960 they're not killing each other. 0:07:13.240 --> 0:07:14.000 We were stoned. 0:07:16.480 --> 0:07:20.680 But I remember listening at the door, thinking, oh my god, 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:26.480 they're talking, they're discussing, they're laughing, they're enjoying each other's company. 0:07:26.920 --> 0:07:30.760 And that was actually your watershed moment that you'd gone 0:07:30.920 --> 0:07:35.560 past this young rivalry and attacking each other and you 0:07:35.640 --> 0:07:38.640 were getting on as young adults, and that was a 0:07:38.760 --> 0:07:39.520 real joy. 0:07:39.800 --> 0:07:41.520 Did you always think you're going to have five? Was 0:07:41.560 --> 0:07:43.640 that the plan when you were growing up? Did you 0:07:43.680 --> 0:07:45.240 think I'm going to have a big family? Yeah? 0:07:45.560 --> 0:07:51.160 Really, yeah, for whatever reason, but I suppose coming from Wales, 0:07:51.520 --> 0:07:55.760 not having my family here, I sort of wanted my tribe. 0:07:56.480 --> 0:07:57.560 I think were. 0:07:57.360 --> 0:07:59.800 There some days where you just like, why the fuck 0:07:59.800 --> 0:08:00.400 a I done this? 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:06.520 You know, honestly would never have gone that far to 0:08:06.560 --> 0:08:10.320 say I wish I hadn't done this. However, it was hard. 0:08:10.520 --> 0:08:14.320 The first three were three years and one month apart, 0:08:14.560 --> 0:08:17.120 so that was just hard. 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:17.400 Work. 0:08:17.720 --> 0:08:20.720 I'd go on holiday and by the time I'd put 0:08:21.080 --> 0:08:24.720 some block on everybody and got the snacks together and 0:08:24.840 --> 0:08:27.400 go to the beach, someone needed a nap. It was 0:08:27.480 --> 0:08:28.600 hard to get every. 0:08:28.640 --> 0:08:31.600 Logistics of it because we just had this really warm 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:33.600 weekend and like I took, I was just on my 0:08:33.640 --> 0:08:35.960 home apriles away and two kids out of the beach 0:08:36.000 --> 0:08:37.920 and it's like an hour to get them. 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:39.280 Out of the door, to get them at the door, 0:08:39.320 --> 0:08:39.720 and then. 0:08:39.600 --> 0:08:41.439 You're like trying to get them home from the beach 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:45.920 and the it's just just I don't know how you 0:08:46.000 --> 0:08:49.080 did it with five. I mean, I suppose you just 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:50.839 did your best and just to see if we make 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:51.240 it or not. 0:08:51.960 --> 0:08:54.440 What would you say was the hardest transition? Was it 0:08:54.520 --> 0:08:55.360 three to four? 0:08:55.600 --> 0:08:56.240 Four to five? 0:08:56.600 --> 0:09:00.599 The hardest was having three because there was three in 0:09:00.720 --> 0:09:06.120 three years and that was full on. But you realize 0:09:06.240 --> 0:09:10.840 how big families work because with the younger two, do 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:17.000 you remember you were on duty. I would allocate a 0:09:17.080 --> 0:09:20.000 job to you to look after the little is. It 0:09:20.040 --> 0:09:22.440 would be two of you watching the younger two in 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:26.520 the bath, getting them dressed, lying down, reading a story. 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:33.120 And I realized big families work because often families maybe 0:09:33.160 --> 0:09:36.920 only have two and they're eighteen months apart, so they 0:09:37.160 --> 0:09:40.280 kind of grow up together. But by the time Tom 0:09:40.440 --> 0:09:44.280 was born, the youngest Adam was eleven, Kate was ten, 0:09:45.000 --> 0:09:45.800 and you were nine. 0:09:45.920 --> 0:09:48.160 So there were hands to help and I had. 0:09:48.000 --> 0:09:53.240 A Tom roster on the fridge. Everybody, remember, everybody had 0:09:53.280 --> 0:09:55.800 a job to do to help Tom. And it was 0:09:55.840 --> 0:09:58.040 then that I thought, you know, all this is happening. 0:09:58.360 --> 0:10:02.240 I'll just was like, I might have a six again. 0:10:02.600 --> 0:10:04.839 Well if i'd had a husband maybe. 0:10:07.040 --> 0:10:10.240 Now married, and what a shame I've had a sex 0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:12.640 to me, Look, I want to go back to I 0:10:12.640 --> 0:10:16.080 want to ask you a question about Matt's four skin. Okay, 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:19.400 because this story came as a massive shock to me 0:10:19.480 --> 0:10:20.199 and everybody else. 0:10:20.200 --> 0:10:22.520 I think like part of me is thinking, like, did 0:10:22.559 --> 0:10:25.320 I have I remembered it correctly? Yeah? 0:10:25.640 --> 0:10:27.480 Yeah, So that's where I want to find out. So 0:10:27.640 --> 0:10:33.160 it was six. So for those who haven't heard this story, 0:10:33.240 --> 0:10:36.120 I go back to one of our previous episodes Early Day, 0:10:36.559 --> 0:10:40.160 where we talked about Matt was born and kept his 0:10:40.320 --> 0:10:42.959 foreskin until the age of six. But ee, if you 0:10:42.960 --> 0:10:46.120 don't mind just giving an overview of what that was like. 0:10:46.600 --> 0:10:50.520 Decided not on the medical advice and everything was fine, 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:55.280 and then Matt would just really wee all over the toilet. 0:10:55.120 --> 0:10:57.360 Like an elephant's trunk, and it was. 0:10:57.320 --> 0:11:01.360 Really, this is crazy. How can he missed that big hole? 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:05.240 And I thought I'd better watch him we And then 0:11:05.360 --> 0:11:08.720 he went to the toilet and I'm not kidding this 0:11:08.840 --> 0:11:14.440 week came out at right angles to his penis and 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:18.000 I looked at him and thought, what the hell is 0:11:18.080 --> 0:11:22.600 going on? So I didn't want to be too personal 0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:26.360 and manipulate his fore skin. No, I did try, thinking 0:11:27.280 --> 0:11:30.720 this hole is not in the right place, So went 0:11:30.760 --> 0:11:35.599 to the GP. He examined it and said, yeah, you 0:11:35.760 --> 0:11:39.400 got a lot of scar tissue over this portion and 0:11:39.440 --> 0:11:42.600 it's made it go out at right angles. You've got 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:43.760 to have a circumcision. 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:45.280 Where was a scar tissue? 0:11:45.280 --> 0:11:46.800 I didn't know he had a five skin? 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:50.360 No, yeah, there was just some extra skin that had 0:11:50.360 --> 0:12:02.800 gone five skin. Boy, So got to have the circumcision, 0:12:03.200 --> 0:12:06.640 but hadn't obviously a general and had it done. And 0:12:06.720 --> 0:12:09.880 I had this pamphlet of how to care for this 0:12:10.040 --> 0:12:13.400 penis and it was a learning curse. 0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:16.520 Anyone right now, I would love to see the pamphlet 0:12:16.559 --> 0:12:18.559 and says how to care for this penis. 0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:21.960 Do you remember any of the key steps that people 0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:22.720 should be aware of? 0:12:22.840 --> 0:12:25.319 Well, I remember, oh, you had to take the outer 0:12:25.440 --> 0:12:28.680 bandage off, and then used to say line solution, and 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:35.600 there in bold letters was on day five, completely remove 0:12:35.880 --> 0:12:36.560 the dressing. 0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:40.400 I remember, I'm going to sharp pain in my penis. 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:45.000 Right now, and it said soaking the bath. So you 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:48.599 soaked in the bath and you came out and I thought, oh. 0:12:48.160 --> 0:12:50.320 It must have been like day fifteen. But there's a 0:12:50.760 --> 0:12:53.760 like rubbed off or something. Day five. It's quite I 0:12:53.760 --> 0:12:55.800 don't think, just come out of surgery. Mum was there, like, 0:12:55.920 --> 0:12:57.520 let's take off the bandage, and I was like, are 0:12:57.600 --> 0:13:00.080 you sure? Mom? She's like, that's what it says. 0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:03.680 And I looked at that bandage and I thought, look 0:13:03.800 --> 0:13:04.400 stuck on. 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:08.520 I's currently grabbing hold of his penis. 0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:11.720 It's really important that you take this off. And I 0:13:11.840 --> 0:13:17.880 just had to pick it and whip it off. And 0:13:18.000 --> 0:13:23.320 there's poor kid. I mean, you were doubled up and 0:13:23.360 --> 0:13:25.839 you run around the room holding your penis. 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:30.000 Can you feel that? I loved? 0:13:30.600 --> 0:13:31.600 I still got mine? 0:13:33.280 --> 0:13:35.880 Oh it was red raw, and I thought maybe I 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:36.840 shouldn't have done that. 0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:40.040 You've literally ripped it off like a band aid, but 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:42.920 on the most sensitive part of the anatomy. 0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:53.239 Memory beautiful, God, penis is beautiful, Thanks mom. 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:54.720 Something I would thought I heard out of Laura's mouth, 0:13:54.760 --> 0:14:00.280 not Matt's mom's mouth. Did you have an option then 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:03.840 to do the full circuses or be like, hey, would 0:14:03.880 --> 0:14:05.560 they give you an option to like, if you want 0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:08.080 to keep a force skin, we can just take it. 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:11.240 Was just the only option was totally all or nothing. 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:14.520 Imagine if they said it like with right angled. 0:14:14.559 --> 0:14:17.200 We imagine if they said, either he goes through his 0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:19.040 life with the right angle, pee, or your chop the 0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:22.320 whole penis off. Oh, right angle, just go the right angle? 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:25.680 Yeah, be interesting, wouldn't it when you're actually when you're 0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:30.080 thinking about making love? Because normally that sperm would need 0:14:30.120 --> 0:14:33.240 to shoot straight up, but if it was going at 0:14:33.320 --> 0:14:36.960 right angled, it might get lost and not really nowhere. 0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:37.960 I don't know. 0:14:37.880 --> 0:14:41.080 About that, but anyway, I'm learning a lot of Matt's 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:41.840 penis anatomy. 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:44.680 What was it like as a teenager. I feel like 0:14:45.560 --> 0:14:47.880 I had moments where I was very well behaved, and 0:14:48.000 --> 0:14:49.880 I feel like there were moments and I veered. 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:54.760 Of course, I don't think you'veered of expelled. 0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:57.600 Expelled, expelled from school camp. 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:04.720 Well, let's be honest. Matt started a midnight boxing tournament. 0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:08.359 He was on this camp fight club. 0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:12.920 And he and his mate started this. 0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:14.160 On school camp. 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:15.440 Where was school campout? 0:15:15.560 --> 0:15:16.600 It was it. 0:15:16.520 --> 0:15:18.560 Was like on the farms. You did five weeks. 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:20.800 I mean, let me go straight. You went on a 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:22.760 school camp. Was it a boys school? 0:15:23.080 --> 0:15:23.440 Co ed? 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:26.320 Coed? And you just decided to start a fight club. 0:15:26.720 --> 0:15:30.280 Correct on the camp, but you would have like pillows, 0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:32.280 a pillow fight pillow gloves. 0:15:32.320 --> 0:15:34.760 Let's dainty, but let's go Yeah. 0:15:34.800 --> 0:15:38.560 And so we got a call to say your son 0:15:38.600 --> 0:15:41.880 has been involved in organizing a boxing I. 0:15:42.000 --> 0:15:45.200 Was I was the sacrificial lamb. Oh yeah, okay, I 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:47.920 wasn't the ringleader, but I was dobbed in by the others. 0:15:48.360 --> 0:15:52.120 So he did have to come home early. The good 0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:57.480 news is that Matt still has retained the championship for 0:15:57.600 --> 0:16:00.760 the midnight box At the. 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:04.880 Time, how old was it was fifteen, troubling age. 0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:07.360 I was at a pretty strict school and I remember 0:16:08.480 --> 0:16:10.520 I think I was fourteen, and I really wanted to 0:16:10.560 --> 0:16:13.240 have frosted tips, like really badly. 0:16:13.480 --> 0:16:15.520 You and everybody else at fourteen. 0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:18.080 Yeah, and you let me do it, which is no. 0:16:18.000 --> 0:16:18.080 No. 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:21.200 What happened was your auntie, who's a headdresser, came from 0:16:21.240 --> 0:16:24.800 Wales and she had all this bleach and stuff and 0:16:24.880 --> 0:16:26.640 she was showing me how to do it. Never done 0:16:26.640 --> 0:16:28.880 it in my life, and you said, I wouldn't mind 0:16:28.880 --> 0:16:32.520 having highlights. Okay, boy, sit, your mother's going to do it. 0:16:32.840 --> 0:16:37.960 So I did all these highlights and overprocessed it just tad. 0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:41.960 So you did look a little bit over blonde. Anyway, 0:16:42.000 --> 0:16:43.920 you went to school looked great. 0:16:44.400 --> 0:16:45.160 I don't know if I did. 0:16:46.080 --> 0:16:47.400 I'm not picturing it looking. 0:16:47.800 --> 0:16:51.360 And the next day we had what what they called 0:16:51.400 --> 0:16:53.040 the people who controlled the universe. 0:16:53.120 --> 0:16:55.320 Security we had. The school was really strict, so we 0:16:55.360 --> 0:16:58.960 had marshals who that the only job was to just 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:01.920 make sure that if anyone misbehaved in the school, you 0:17:02.000 --> 0:17:03.240 got dealt with by the marshals. 0:17:03.280 --> 0:17:04.080 Oh my god. 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:07.840 So they weren't teachers, that were essentially like police on campus. 0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:11.880 They phoned me and they said, we've noticed that Matthew 0:17:11.960 --> 0:17:16.879 has come with dyed hair. We don't know who would 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:21.000 have done that to him, and I don't know, I'm 0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:26.359 not sure, but it's unacceptable. He'll have to have his 0:17:26.520 --> 0:17:30.240 hair changed, and then he proceeded to say, this is 0:17:30.280 --> 0:17:33.359 the honest troup. You know, you couldn't go to war 0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:37.880 with a young man who did that, the marshal. The 0:17:37.920 --> 0:17:40.600 marshal actually said military. 0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:42.520 I think he was a vet, though I think it was. 0:17:43.440 --> 0:17:44.480 Did they let you keep the hair? 0:17:44.600 --> 0:17:46.760 No, I had to cut it he had. 0:17:46.800 --> 0:17:52.480 Did they make you cut it or what? That's wild? 0:17:52.800 --> 0:17:55.200 Why did you send him to this school to straighten 0:17:55.280 --> 0:17:55.680 him out? 0:17:56.119 --> 0:17:58.320 No? No, Well it was a strict school, but it 0:17:58.359 --> 0:18:01.520 was a co ed so it was a co ed 0:18:01.680 --> 0:18:04.840 private school and they did have a lot of good things, 0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:07.879 like Ironbach which was a farm and you went for 0:18:07.920 --> 0:18:08.919 a term and you and. 0:18:08.960 --> 0:18:10.000 Good for sport as well. 0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:14.000 And good for sport, it was good for drama. 0:18:14.720 --> 0:18:15.960 Oh that's where he gets it. 0:18:16.160 --> 0:18:19.080 Yeah. Would you say you kept us kids on a 0:18:19.160 --> 0:18:22.560 tight leash or did you take the approach of giving 0:18:22.640 --> 0:18:23.800 us total free rerain? 0:18:24.080 --> 0:18:27.199 Do you know? I think when you're a single parent 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:31.679 that is very hard to keep all your children on 0:18:31.720 --> 0:18:36.520 a tight rain because it's physically you just drown. So 0:18:36.560 --> 0:18:40.439 I wouldn't say I did that, But you didn't push 0:18:40.600 --> 0:18:44.760 that too far your sister did that? You remember that 0:18:45.080 --> 0:18:48.399 you would be part of the team that would hold 0:18:48.480 --> 0:18:51.960 her back in the house so she couldn't go out 0:18:52.240 --> 0:18:54.520 with unsavory individuals. 0:18:54.520 --> 0:18:57.679 Imber I remember. And also she would wag school, so 0:18:57.720 --> 0:19:01.120 we would leave in the morning and she would go 0:19:01.200 --> 0:19:03.160 with other clothes in her backpack, and then she would 0:19:03.160 --> 0:19:04.920 not go to school, and I'd be like, please come 0:19:04.960 --> 0:19:07.560 to school, and she's like, shut up, do what I want. 0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:10.280 Well, interesting thing with that was she had a part 0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:13.760 time job at Mecca's. One Friday afternoon, I was going 0:19:13.800 --> 0:19:16.800 to school late and I hadn't had lunch, and I 0:19:16.960 --> 0:19:19.400 never do this during the day, and I thought, oh, 0:19:19.440 --> 0:19:22.520 I'll get maccas. I'd taken Kate to school that morning, 0:19:23.359 --> 0:19:25.720 and I went through the drive through to order my 0:19:25.880 --> 0:19:29.879 filet of fish burger, the fish filet, and I looked 0:19:29.960 --> 0:19:33.359 up and this was about twelve o'clock and there was 0:19:33.440 --> 0:19:35.840 Kate and I'd taken to the school that morning. 0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:39.040 She worked the drive through. She was working. She could 0:19:39.080 --> 0:19:40.440 have been doing way worse. 0:19:40.760 --> 0:19:45.040 And I just looked at her and I couldn't speak, 0:19:45.560 --> 0:19:48.520 and eventually I said, I will talk to you when 0:19:48.560 --> 0:19:50.560 you get home. And I didn't get my filet. 0:19:50.720 --> 0:19:55.680 I thought, you're going to say I will get one. 0:19:54.280 --> 0:19:58.919 And I will not be paying for it. You should 0:19:58.920 --> 0:19:59.480 have for sure. 0:20:00.160 --> 0:20:04.200 She was quite strong willed and she was a naughty one. Yeah, 0:20:04.280 --> 0:20:05.880 she was a bit naughty. 0:20:06.119 --> 0:20:06.359 Yeah. 0:20:07.040 --> 0:20:09.240 I love how this has just become like her trash. 0:20:10.920 --> 0:20:12.960 What else did she do wrong as well? She never 0:20:12.960 --> 0:20:14.480 paid you back that two hundred bucks that she owed 0:20:14.520 --> 0:20:15.199 you as well? Did she? 0:20:16.040 --> 0:20:20.119 And like having four boys a lot of testosterone in 0:20:20.200 --> 0:20:24.120 the house and them getting into their teenage years, Matt 0:20:24.240 --> 0:20:27.479 was obviously a bit younger than the older you had 0:20:27.520 --> 0:20:29.000 an older one oldest boy. 0:20:29.040 --> 0:20:31.200 Can I just say this question was asked so many 0:20:31.240 --> 0:20:34.000 times by the perverts of this country, what's wrong with 0:20:34.040 --> 0:20:34.480 you people? 0:20:34.720 --> 0:20:37.439 There was obviously some masturbating happening in the house with 0:20:37.520 --> 0:20:38.280 all these boys. 0:20:41.280 --> 0:20:42.439 I don't think so. 0:20:43.640 --> 0:20:47.600 How many times or if any, did you walk in 0:20:47.640 --> 0:20:50.680 on our young Matthew here I would say pulling the 0:20:50.680 --> 0:20:52.200 skin back, but he didn't have any on there. 0:20:53.280 --> 0:20:58.920 Now, I actually not as often as you would think. 0:20:58.960 --> 0:21:02.000 Not as often, or do you just suspect it? 0:21:03.840 --> 0:21:09.480 There was a time and the name will I will 0:21:09.480 --> 0:21:13.040 not reveal the name of Let's say it wasn't Matt. 0:21:13.400 --> 0:21:16.080 And we just moved into a house and we hadn't 0:21:16.160 --> 0:21:20.360 yet put curtains up, and it was it was morning, 0:21:21.160 --> 0:21:24.280 and I just happened to be outside, passing the window 0:21:24.920 --> 0:21:29.359 and I looked across. Okay, someone's having a good time. 0:21:29.760 --> 0:21:32.600 I shall just walk on by. That's the honest Did 0:21:32.680 --> 0:21:35.080 I see it? Wasn't you? 0:21:35.520 --> 0:21:38.959 Oh well, okay, I did find Are we protecting? 0:21:43.359 --> 0:21:46.959 But I do remember when we were leaving that house 0:21:47.480 --> 0:21:51.760 and unpacking and I had to dismantle your bed. There 0:21:51.800 --> 0:21:57.239 were a number of condoms underneath still in the wrapper. No, 0:21:58.200 --> 0:21:58.919 they had been. 0:21:59.000 --> 0:22:00.520 Jerking off of the condom. 0:21:59.920 --> 0:22:03.760 I was getting busy. I was wearing protection. 0:22:03.960 --> 0:22:05.080 Yeah, that's very true. 0:22:05.840 --> 0:22:06.080 Wasn't. 0:22:06.280 --> 0:22:10.439 Let's not mention any names. Okay, I thought there was 0:22:10.520 --> 0:22:13.520 one time though, in the ken Moore house. There was 0:22:13.520 --> 0:22:14.080 one time. 0:22:14.680 --> 0:22:16.600 Did you have any crusty towels? No? 0:22:16.680 --> 0:22:20.719 I never used a towel. I think that I always 0:22:20.840 --> 0:22:23.600 I always thought I was found out. There was one 0:22:23.720 --> 0:22:27.000 night bedrooms were upstairs. Downstairs was like a computer room, 0:22:27.280 --> 0:22:29.040 and then there was like a toilet in like the 0:22:29.160 --> 0:22:32.680 rumpus area. And you must have woken up and seen 0:22:32.720 --> 0:22:34.920 the light was on downstairs late at night, so you 0:22:34.960 --> 0:22:40.520 came downstairs. I was in the bathroom and I'm pretty 0:22:40.560 --> 0:22:43.800 sure I was doing my thing, and I'm pretty sure 0:22:43.840 --> 0:22:47.199 you opened the door, remember this, And it was a 0:22:47.240 --> 0:22:49.000 split second and you shut the door and then you 0:22:49.040 --> 0:22:51.280 just said turn the light off when you finished. Do 0:22:51.359 --> 0:22:51.919 you remember that? 0:22:53.240 --> 0:22:54.320 God? Maybe it was k. 0:22:56.359 --> 0:22:58.400 Okay great. I always thought I was found out, so 0:22:58.720 --> 0:22:59.120 we don't. 0:22:59.520 --> 0:23:02.240 But I did find out one more thing. It was 0:23:02.440 --> 0:23:05.840 Echer Day and we always went to Eke. 0:23:06.280 --> 0:23:07.800 For those of you who don't know Ekker, it's kind 0:23:07.800 --> 0:23:09.040 of like the Easterns. 0:23:09.600 --> 0:23:13.560 So your older brother didn't want to go this year, 0:23:13.600 --> 0:23:16.000 and I thought, okay, that's all right, you can stay 0:23:16.000 --> 0:23:18.560 at home. And then we got a telephone bill at 0:23:18.560 --> 0:23:22.040 that time, and there were all these bills to some 0:23:22.280 --> 0:23:26.560 remote island in the Pacific, and it was there were 0:23:26.800 --> 0:23:27.959 hugely expensive. 0:23:28.000 --> 0:23:28.960 It was laundering money. 0:23:29.000 --> 0:23:32.920 It's ridiculous. We don't know anybody who lives on an 0:23:32.920 --> 0:23:36.280 island in the Pacific. I'm under call Telstra. So I 0:23:36.320 --> 0:23:38.119 called him up and I said, I'm looking at the 0:23:38.119 --> 0:23:41.640 telephone bill. It's extraordinary. Ending it went on and on, 0:23:41.680 --> 0:23:44.800 and this poor girl was like yeah, yeah, yeah, trying 0:23:44.840 --> 0:23:48.800 to explain it, and she said, I have to say 0:23:49.000 --> 0:23:55.040 that this does often happen, and it is a pawn size. 0:23:55.359 --> 0:23:58.399 I wonder how many phone calls Telstra got that time, 0:23:58.840 --> 0:24:01.760 in that time when that was so big, because obviously 0:24:01.800 --> 0:24:04.320 now it's all online. Yeah, they must have just been 0:24:04.400 --> 0:24:05.560 like rubbing their hands and. 0:24:06.040 --> 0:24:08.040 As soon as people said the Pacific, they're like. 0:24:08.160 --> 0:24:10.800 Well that's porn porn capital and. 0:24:10.760 --> 0:24:13.520 Then blazed her. She did say, she said, look in 0:24:13.560 --> 0:24:17.120 their defense, once you go into that site, every time 0:24:17.160 --> 0:24:20.119 he tried to get out, it takes you deeper in. 0:24:20.600 --> 0:24:22.439 It's very difficult to get h. 0:24:26.240 --> 0:24:28.760 Yeah, it was funny because it opens up three, four, 0:24:28.880 --> 0:24:31.440 five tabs, ten tabs, just all of a sudden. 0:24:32.280 --> 0:24:35.040 And then we looked at the dates that we were. 0:24:38.520 --> 0:24:38.720 Own. 0:24:42.560 --> 0:24:45.320 What would you say was the dumbest thing I ever 0:24:45.359 --> 0:24:46.399 did as a youngster. 0:24:47.880 --> 0:24:51.439 It wasn't. It was a pure accident, but Matt was 0:24:51.480 --> 0:24:55.000 his birthday. We had an outside slide and right in 0:24:55.040 --> 0:24:58.639 the last five minutes he ran and fell back and 0:24:58.680 --> 0:24:59.400 banged his head. 0:24:59.680 --> 0:25:03.840 And we're playing Spotlight ass just people, miss Spotlark. Good game. 0:25:04.359 --> 0:25:08.439 People were about to leave and Matt kept saying, is 0:25:08.480 --> 0:25:09.320 this my partner? 0:25:09.800 --> 0:25:10.960 You knocked yourself out? 0:25:12.320 --> 0:25:16.320 Yeah? Yeah, at your party? Why are people here? Kept 0:25:16.359 --> 0:25:20.320 repeating it, and I thought there's something wrong here. So 0:25:20.440 --> 0:25:23.560 we took him to hospital and he kept repeat had concussion. 0:25:24.240 --> 0:25:31.160 But you didn't get into too many unfortunate situations like that, 0:25:31.320 --> 0:25:33.000 did you? But that was a biggie. 0:25:33.040 --> 0:25:36.840 No, I'm it was pretty I mean even I looked 0:25:36.880 --> 0:25:43.879 back and I me and my mate smally like in 0:25:43.960 --> 0:25:45.920 high school we were like, oh, we want to go 0:25:46.000 --> 0:25:48.359 to Europe. Simply finished high school and we've been like 0:25:48.440 --> 0:25:51.919 saving up, like whilst we had jobs, part time jobs 0:25:51.920 --> 0:25:54.040 all through a year eleven and twelve. As soon as 0:25:54.080 --> 0:25:57.080 school finished, we went to Europe. So we were seventeen. Wow, 0:25:57.200 --> 0:26:00.639 that's when we finished school and Smallsey goodbye. And we 0:26:00.680 --> 0:26:02.040 went to Europe when we were seventeen. 0:26:02.480 --> 0:26:07.960 And I have thought I must have been exhausted. One 0:26:08.080 --> 0:26:12.200 is going. 0:26:11.960 --> 0:26:15.160 You go having like five kids, and people always talk 0:26:15.160 --> 0:26:17.520 about like when they start to grow up, you start 0:26:17.560 --> 0:26:19.560 to just worry about what they're doing. Did you worry 0:26:19.600 --> 0:26:22.000 about them much? Would? Were you so confident? 0:26:22.480 --> 0:26:22.680 No? 0:26:22.840 --> 0:26:27.200 Oh? No, I think worry is a natural part of parenting. 0:26:27.960 --> 0:26:32.840 Worry is to some extent healthy. It makes you hyper 0:26:32.920 --> 0:26:37.560 vigilant and when you hear things that have happened to others, 0:26:37.920 --> 0:26:41.000 even though it's scary, but it makes you more aware 0:26:41.040 --> 0:26:45.600 and that I think normal. But then for a lot 0:26:45.640 --> 0:26:49.960 of people, including me, there was a period where this 0:26:50.440 --> 0:26:55.560 worrying aspect became unhealthy. It was short lived, but I 0:26:55.600 --> 0:26:59.480 remember just getting anxious if anybody would take them in 0:26:59.520 --> 0:26:59.920 the car. 0:27:00.520 --> 0:27:03.000 How old were we at this time, you would have. 0:27:03.000 --> 0:27:08.760 Been sort of six, only had three then, and I 0:27:08.760 --> 0:27:11.359 didn't want you to stay over at people's houses. 0:27:11.680 --> 0:27:14.080 Did something happen to start that process. 0:27:14.240 --> 0:27:17.399 No, I was just very aware that I was really 0:27:17.480 --> 0:27:22.080 getting super anxious. I was aware of it and was 0:27:22.160 --> 0:27:26.040 quite scared about it. Almost wanted to keep you in 0:27:26.040 --> 0:27:29.080 a wardrobe so you didn't get hurt, because you'd hear 0:27:29.160 --> 0:27:33.240 things on TV and it's horrific, and you just try 0:27:33.280 --> 0:27:36.800 to imagine what if something happened, and knowing that you 0:27:37.000 --> 0:27:41.000 I'd never be able to cope anyway. It was interesting 0:27:41.040 --> 0:27:44.760 that at that time when we used to read Sunday newspapers, 0:27:45.480 --> 0:27:47.880 and there was a magazine and it was a story 0:27:48.040 --> 0:27:52.080 about an environmentalist, a very passionate man who traveled the 0:27:52.119 --> 0:27:57.920 world speaking at conferences, going to governments, trying to remove 0:27:58.320 --> 0:28:03.600 pesticides from the food chain, very passionate man, and he 0:28:03.720 --> 0:28:07.480 dropped dead at forty two and the whole article. It's 0:28:07.560 --> 0:28:13.480 now a syndrome. What happened in that what he worried 0:28:13.520 --> 0:28:18.000 about didn't kill him. The worry killed him caused so 0:28:18.160 --> 0:28:21.400 much stress in his life. And that was like an 0:28:21.400 --> 0:28:23.760 epiphany to me. When I read this, it was almost 0:28:23.800 --> 0:28:26.119 as if it was sent to me, and at that 0:28:26.359 --> 0:28:31.160 moment it was, you know, you have so little control 0:28:31.560 --> 0:28:34.720 what the universe has for you in the future, and 0:28:34.760 --> 0:28:36.840 you've got to kind of give it up. You don't 0:28:36.880 --> 0:28:40.960 want anything to happen, but you've got to just let 0:28:41.040 --> 0:28:43.880 it go and let them have their own lives and 0:28:44.440 --> 0:28:45.600 enjoy each day. 0:28:45.920 --> 0:28:48.200 Does it get easier as we get older? Is it 0:28:48.240 --> 0:28:50.160 out of sight, out of mind? 0:28:50.280 --> 0:28:54.640 It does get easier. I was a little worried, you're 0:28:54.680 --> 0:28:57.440 going to Europe, but you had family to go to. 0:28:57.880 --> 0:29:00.760 But on the converse of that, this sounds a big 0:29:00.840 --> 0:29:05.120 corny but Bett Middler's song The Rose, there's a line 0:29:05.160 --> 0:29:08.560 in that and I really held onto that those who 0:29:08.600 --> 0:29:14.360 are afraid to die never learned to live. And I thought, yeah, 0:29:14.480 --> 0:29:16.640 do I want my kids to live? Do I want 0:29:16.680 --> 0:29:20.120 them to experience all these things? And yes there's danger involved, 0:29:20.600 --> 0:29:26.480 but yes I do want that for them just relinquish 0:29:26.560 --> 0:29:29.760 and say they have their own pathway and you just 0:29:29.920 --> 0:29:30.600 have to hope and. 0:29:30.600 --> 0:29:33.560 Pray that you'll be It's really good advice because you're right. 0:29:35.320 --> 0:29:37.440 What traits then, did you want to try and instill 0:29:37.680 --> 0:29:38.720 into us as kids? 0:29:39.200 --> 0:29:44.560 Everybody is born with this individual genetic mix. You know, 0:29:44.600 --> 0:29:48.200 you've got those genes, but they're mixed together differently. I 0:29:48.280 --> 0:29:53.680 suppose you hope that you will be kind individuals. But 0:29:53.880 --> 0:29:57.920 one thing that now, when I see you all as adults, 0:29:58.120 --> 0:30:02.040 I know that you chan pion at the underdog. You 0:30:02.120 --> 0:30:02.800 all do that. 0:30:08.520 --> 0:30:10.320 I'm an alpha mats. 0:30:10.360 --> 0:30:12.880 There's been a lot of on the news lately of 0:30:13.000 --> 0:30:17.280 citizens arrest, you know, people stepping in because of the crime. 0:30:17.480 --> 0:30:19.640 And I as much as you don't want to put 0:30:19.680 --> 0:30:22.920 your child in danger, but I know that all of you, 0:30:23.320 --> 0:30:27.239 including Kate, if you pass somebody in need, I know 0:30:27.400 --> 0:30:30.640 that you would render assistance. And that's what I would 0:30:30.720 --> 0:30:33.120 hope that you would never And I don't have to 0:30:33.160 --> 0:30:35.320 hope because I know that's what you would do, and 0:30:35.360 --> 0:30:37.640 you did it once. Do you remember on the beach? 0:30:37.680 --> 0:30:39.480 I want to say that I didn't ask my mum 0:30:39.560 --> 0:30:40.560 to tell these stories. 0:30:43.080 --> 0:30:47.240 Please continue, Please put me up go, but do you 0:30:47.280 --> 0:30:50.120 remember on the beach there was a man that was 0:30:50.200 --> 0:30:52.720 attacking somebody and you. 0:30:52.920 --> 0:31:02.520 Hero, well, look, we're at Barron and we had an 0:31:02.520 --> 0:31:05.280 afternoon flight and we had a couple of hours to 0:31:05.320 --> 0:31:07.200 kill where we'd already checked out. We went to the 0:31:07.200 --> 0:31:09.600 main pub and Byron was a little park in front 0:31:09.640 --> 0:31:11.520 of them, so we had lunch. Their kids were on 0:31:11.560 --> 0:31:13.920 the swing, and we kind of noticed in the car 0:31:14.000 --> 0:31:16.920 park there were these kids who were like really roy recently, 0:31:17.400 --> 0:31:18.960 oh maybe like a couple of years ago. 0:31:19.080 --> 0:31:21.080 So you had Maley, yeah. 0:31:21.320 --> 0:31:23.400 Marley, I don't think Lola was around then, and we 0:31:23.480 --> 0:31:25.520 kind of you could hear these kids, like you know, 0:31:25.680 --> 0:31:28.120 music blurring in the car park and they were kind 0:31:28.120 --> 0:31:30.080 of getting rowdy and rowdy and they sounded like having 0:31:30.120 --> 0:31:32.360 a few arguments amongst each other. And then as we 0:31:32.360 --> 0:31:34.400 were like literally in the park, this one of the 0:31:34.480 --> 0:31:37.520 kids came across and was like swearing at himself and yelling. 0:31:38.440 --> 0:31:42.040 He was like fucking hell rah. And then this lovely 0:31:42.120 --> 0:31:45.080 elderly couple were kind of like almost power walking and 0:31:45.200 --> 0:31:48.800 active wear along the footpath and he just like blined 0:31:48.840 --> 0:31:52.440 for them and fly kicked what Yeah, And then there's 0:31:52.480 --> 0:31:55.960 a lovely family as a Fijian dad and he was 0:31:56.040 --> 0:31:58.680 like solid And when that happened, we kind of looked 0:31:58.680 --> 0:32:00.600 at each other and just gave each other and not 0:32:01.480 --> 0:32:02.840 we just started running. 0:32:02.880 --> 0:32:03.600 He was like let's go. 0:32:03.640 --> 0:32:08.360 Why boy, He was looking at me as like don't 0:32:08.520 --> 0:32:10.360 you don't need to I've got this cover, and I. 0:32:10.240 --> 0:32:11.880 Was like, just come to even it out. 0:32:13.640 --> 0:32:17.040 He just picked me up and ran with me. 0:32:17.400 --> 0:32:18.280 Used you as a weapon. 0:32:19.160 --> 0:32:21.320 We tackled this guy and that pinned it down. And 0:32:21.520 --> 0:32:24.040 there's a statue of the environ base what that is? 0:32:25.560 --> 0:32:27.200 Police came in like two seconds. 0:32:27.240 --> 0:32:31.560 Wow, and mate, you're just just a hero of the citizens. 0:32:32.400 --> 0:32:34.320 Had you had to drag your mummy in on the 0:32:34.360 --> 0:32:38.080 podcast just so that you could get that story. Thanks, 0:32:39.040 --> 0:32:42.720 thank you for setting him up with that one. Look, 0:32:42.760 --> 0:32:45.000 it's it is a good trait to have. 0:32:45.320 --> 0:32:49.040 Yeah, And I know it's scary. You know, you don't 0:32:49.080 --> 0:32:52.560 want them to step in and get harmed. But I 0:32:52.600 --> 0:32:55.680 don't think I'm a woman, an older woman, but if 0:32:55.720 --> 0:32:58.360 someone if I passed someone in need, i'd have to. 0:32:58.480 --> 0:33:00.360 If you ever get fly kicked by a crack head, 0:33:02.360 --> 0:33:04.480 Ellie's going to come in and save the day. 0:33:05.200 --> 0:33:05.400 Now. 0:33:05.680 --> 0:33:07.680 Just switching gears a little bit again, because that's what 0:33:07.760 --> 0:33:11.080 I'm best at. Is there anything growing up like Matt 0:33:11.120 --> 0:33:13.720 growing up that you've caught him out on that you've 0:33:13.760 --> 0:33:18.280 actually never told him that you've found out about? Anything 0:33:18.320 --> 0:33:21.880 that comes to mind? Big question? I know, dicover something. 0:33:22.000 --> 0:33:23.960 We were pretty much an open book. 0:33:25.000 --> 0:33:29.080 Look, there's always going to be something, right, whether she 0:33:29.160 --> 0:33:31.040 remembers it now or down the track, and she texts 0:33:31.080 --> 0:33:32.800 me later about what it is. 0:33:32.960 --> 0:33:39.120 But you're quite honestly, nothing major comes to mind because. 0:33:38.840 --> 0:33:40.120 I tell you everything anyway. 0:33:40.240 --> 0:33:44.960 Yeah, we're very honest with each other. How well, Yes, 0:33:46.480 --> 0:33:48.440 I don't know whether I should say yes she did, 0:33:48.920 --> 0:33:52.160 go go go, but no names, no names. 0:33:52.880 --> 0:33:55.600 There's one of these brothers, okay, who. 0:33:55.480 --> 0:33:59.880 Went to Canada and asked me to send his drive 0:34:00.240 --> 0:34:03.120 license to Canada for him. And I did that, and 0:34:03.200 --> 0:34:06.760 I kept checking, has the license arrived because you're leaving soon? 0:34:06.920 --> 0:34:07.160 No? 0:34:07.160 --> 0:34:11.399 No, no, no, no, hadn't arrived, hadn't arrived. Eventually he 0:34:11.520 --> 0:34:15.239 came home and a couple of weeks after that, this 0:34:16.000 --> 0:34:19.839 package arrived, this envelope, and it was quite thick, and 0:34:19.880 --> 0:34:24.759 I thought, ah, his his license. And I did something 0:34:25.280 --> 0:34:29.239 that honestly I never would do. I thought it was 0:34:29.239 --> 0:34:32.719 his license. I opened up the envelope and it was 0:34:32.760 --> 0:34:35.800 a birthday card, and I opened your card. 0:34:35.920 --> 0:34:37.680 No one's having a birthday in this household. 0:34:37.800 --> 0:34:40.840 And as I opened the card, I saw about ten 0:34:41.320 --> 0:34:53.120 little pouches of white So I drug bill. I'd closed 0:34:53.120 --> 0:34:55.920 the envelope. I'd closed the card, put it back in 0:34:55.960 --> 0:34:59.200 the envelope, put it on the hall stand, and didn't 0:34:59.200 --> 0:35:03.359 know what to do. I thought, I think there could 0:35:03.400 --> 0:35:06.239 be police just hovering outside the show. 0:35:06.320 --> 0:35:11.319 So you've discovered that someone in the house is essentially 0:35:12.120 --> 0:35:14.239 smuggling drugs into the house. 0:35:14.719 --> 0:35:17.400 And it came home, the house is spotless, nine bags 0:35:17.400 --> 0:35:18.040 were remaining. 0:35:20.719 --> 0:35:27.200 And did you just not say anything like what really 0:35:27.239 --> 0:35:28.719 incriminating this guy. 0:35:31.080 --> 0:35:36.520 Anyway? He I didn't, Honestly, I did not know how 0:35:36.560 --> 0:35:37.399 to handle that. 0:35:37.600 --> 0:35:40.400 The Johnson family or the Jamelle Golby family. 0:35:41.440 --> 0:35:44.480 So I just left it on the hall stand. Obviously 0:35:44.560 --> 0:35:49.640 it had been opened to see what reaction went down 0:35:49.680 --> 0:35:51.000 the toilet or anything. 0:35:51.400 --> 0:35:53.080 Did you leave it there to see what the reaction 0:35:53.120 --> 0:35:57.439 would be once? Yeah, yeah, so that he will remain nameless. 0:35:57.760 --> 0:36:02.359 And he was very apologetic, and he was shocked that 0:36:02.520 --> 0:36:03.640 I'd found out. 0:36:03.920 --> 0:36:05.040 And it had come from Canada. 0:36:05.480 --> 0:36:07.600 Wow, much cheaper in Canada, did you say? 0:36:07.840 --> 0:36:09.560 Okay? So he was on the way home from Canada, 0:36:09.600 --> 0:36:11.680 thought I'm going to get some sent home. So when 0:36:11.680 --> 0:36:12.560 I go no, no, this. 0:36:12.640 --> 0:36:14.640 Was this was sent he said by a friend. 0:36:14.920 --> 0:36:18.160 Oh okay, right right right, Well there you did you 0:36:18.200 --> 0:36:18.520 know that? 0:36:18.840 --> 0:36:19.000 Yes? 0:36:19.360 --> 0:36:19.920 You did know that. 0:36:20.040 --> 0:36:25.200 Yes, I taught him how to do it, just to confirm. 0:36:24.680 --> 0:36:29.360 It wasn't Matt. For those we have this segment called lies, 0:36:29.560 --> 0:36:33.200 where we actively admit to lying to our kids, and 0:36:33.280 --> 0:36:36.279 so does the listeners they send in. Are there any 0:36:36.320 --> 0:36:40.040 lies that you remember telling Matt growing up, like any 0:36:40.120 --> 0:36:41.040 parenting lies? 0:36:42.160 --> 0:36:46.280 No, not with Matt, but there was one with Kate. 0:36:46.600 --> 0:36:48.759 Does Kate know this lie? Is like it's a lie? 0:36:48.920 --> 0:36:51.640 Or she probably know now, but you didn't actually say 0:36:51.640 --> 0:36:53.760 you rememory She say that it was okay. 0:36:54.120 --> 0:36:56.239 I haven't actively gone back to her and said, hey, 0:36:56.480 --> 0:36:57.719 you know that question you are? 0:36:58.640 --> 0:36:59.840 Is it about a dead pet? 0:37:01.160 --> 0:37:04.439 I don't know. It's much worse. Please, Ka don't want 0:37:04.520 --> 0:37:05.080 to hear this. 0:37:06.200 --> 0:37:06.640 Yes we do. 0:37:07.360 --> 0:37:11.160 Kate was about fourteen, just getting to know about sex 0:37:11.320 --> 0:37:16.080 and explaining to her, trying to be honest. She was 0:37:16.120 --> 0:37:18.239 taking it all in and there was this book that 0:37:18.320 --> 0:37:23.440 she were going through together, and she thought for a 0:37:23.520 --> 0:37:29.720 while and said, Mom, have you ever had oral sex? 0:37:30.680 --> 0:37:31.960 Oh? My dear goodness. 0:37:32.120 --> 0:37:38.080 And at that moment everything be honest with your children. 0:37:38.920 --> 0:37:42.800 And I looked at her and I said, no, darling. 0:37:45.320 --> 0:37:47.000 See mom is actually a cock monster. 0:37:49.600 --> 0:37:52.680 I can't I can't see that could go to air 0:37:52.840 --> 0:37:54.400 because Kate would disown me. 0:37:55.719 --> 0:37:59.880 Kate, but your mom has had oral sex before? 0:38:01.360 --> 0:38:03.120 I hate right now listening to the podcast. 0:38:04.160 --> 0:38:11.360 No. There was another funny anecdote. We were in Wales 0:38:11.760 --> 0:38:15.080 visiting my mother, their grandmother, small bathroom. Were all in 0:38:15.120 --> 0:38:19.160 the bathroom together and Kate went to the toilet and 0:38:19.239 --> 0:38:25.200 Adam looked and he said, where's Kate's penis? And I said, well, 0:38:25.280 --> 0:38:28.440 she doesn't have a penis, and he said, oh, well, 0:38:28.480 --> 0:38:32.120 what does she have? He was about seven, And I thought, 0:38:32.160 --> 0:38:36.600 for a split second, I will call it what it is, 0:38:37.239 --> 0:38:40.560 so I said, she has a vagina. And he looked, 0:38:40.560 --> 0:38:42.919 and he nodded and went out. Didn't repeat the word. 0:38:43.480 --> 0:38:47.880 That afternoon, off we went to the local park, absolutely 0:38:48.040 --> 0:38:52.279 full of picnickers, and these three teenage girls befriended us 0:38:52.360 --> 0:38:55.879 and they played with you, and they were great then 0:38:55.960 --> 0:38:58.800 the time came for them to leave, and I said, 0:38:58.840 --> 0:39:01.680 say say goodbye of the girls, and one of the 0:39:01.719 --> 0:39:08.520 girls was called Virginia. So Adamnan in his loudest voice 0:39:08.600 --> 0:39:18.560 saying see ya Vagina. You could feel all these picnicers 0:39:18.640 --> 0:39:19.800 or little children going. 0:39:19.760 --> 0:39:24.160 Oh God, that's one of those things where it's like 0:39:24.280 --> 0:39:25.520 just the kid just doesn't know. 0:39:26.000 --> 0:39:28.399 And it was that was honesty that did not pay. 0:39:30.880 --> 0:39:32.720 I don't know if there's an answer to this question. 0:39:32.800 --> 0:39:35.200 So if there's not, it's totally fine. And I'm going 0:39:35.239 --> 0:39:37.480 to put you on the spot here when you look 0:39:37.600 --> 0:39:41.399 back at the years of parenting with all of us, 0:39:41.440 --> 0:39:44.719 maybe it's just me any mistakes that you made, do. 0:39:44.719 --> 0:39:48.280 You know what? I think? Parenting is honestly the hardest 0:39:48.360 --> 0:39:53.080 job you will ever do. There are no guidelines because 0:39:53.280 --> 0:39:57.120 each child is so different. So if you feel you 0:39:57.280 --> 0:40:02.120 have got through parenting without making mistakes, you are delusional. 0:40:02.920 --> 0:40:08.240 We all will make mistakes, hopefully some on the smaller 0:40:08.360 --> 0:40:12.440 side rather than But yes, I've made mistakes, and I 0:40:12.480 --> 0:40:15.799 don't have to go into exactly what they were. But 0:40:15.920 --> 0:40:20.120 something was sent to me that was one particular thing 0:40:20.200 --> 0:40:22.920 that I have regretted, and it was getting to me. 0:40:24.000 --> 0:40:28.920 And there's a Buddhist saying that when you make a mistake, 0:40:29.400 --> 0:40:34.400 it is a life lesson, not a life sentence. 0:40:34.960 --> 0:40:41.280 Unless it's murder, yes, or drug trafficking. I agree. 0:40:41.280 --> 0:40:45.319 I'm to say that we all of us have the 0:40:45.400 --> 0:40:49.919 potential to relieve that moment, to beat ourselves up over it. 0:40:50.440 --> 0:40:54.239 And when I saw that, I thought, yeah, it's not 0:40:54.320 --> 0:40:57.440 a life sentence. You've got to learn from it and 0:40:57.480 --> 0:40:58.080 then move on. 0:40:58.560 --> 0:41:01.399 And as we all know, the whole nation knows, Matt 0:41:01.560 --> 0:41:02.440 was the Bachelor. 0:41:02.719 --> 0:41:03.439 Oh what was he? 0:41:03.840 --> 0:41:06.960 Yeah, he was also on the Bachelorette, but we'll skip 0:41:07.000 --> 0:41:09.120 that part because I don't want to see him cry again. 0:41:10.680 --> 0:41:16.400 Oh I'm sorry. What were your initial thoughts? Not every 0:41:16.440 --> 0:41:18.960 mom can say my you know, my son was on 0:41:19.040 --> 0:41:22.799 reality TV? What was your initial thoughts on that? 0:41:23.400 --> 0:41:28.000 Okay? When I remember distangly the conversation phone me and 0:41:28.080 --> 0:41:31.719 he said, applied for this and there's auditions, and I 0:41:31.880 --> 0:41:35.520 was not a fan of reality television. And I remember saying, 0:41:36.120 --> 0:41:38.080 you really really want. 0:41:37.920 --> 0:41:38.359 To do this? 0:41:39.120 --> 0:41:41.600 He said yeah, yeah, it'll be a bit of fun, yeah, 0:41:42.120 --> 0:41:47.000 in between jobs, and I went, oh, okay. And then 0:41:47.160 --> 0:41:51.040 a little while later you must have told Kate, and 0:41:51.160 --> 0:41:54.480 Kate and I were both saying, what the hell is 0:41:54.600 --> 0:41:55.320 he doing? 0:41:56.680 --> 0:42:00.000 But no, you know, obviously went well, we got two kids. 0:42:00.280 --> 0:42:03.600 I mean, if I'd been asked to place money on 0:42:03.640 --> 0:42:05.680 a bed, I would have thought, no, this isn't going 0:42:05.760 --> 0:42:12.839 to work. And that's probably been the biggest shock. Yeah, 0:42:12.840 --> 0:42:16.880 but it didn't just work. It brought two people together 0:42:17.280 --> 0:42:22.799 who should be together. And Laura is my daughter, my 0:42:22.960 --> 0:42:26.840 second daughter. And the weird thing is it was weird 0:42:27.320 --> 0:42:32.640 going to Thailand, never having met two girls Elise and Laura, 0:42:32.840 --> 0:42:36.120 I had to interview. That should have been super weird, 0:42:36.600 --> 0:42:44.720 shouldn't it weird? These girls who are vying for Matt's attention. 0:42:44.640 --> 0:42:46.719 Try not to tell them about the six skin. 0:42:49.880 --> 0:42:52.600 But they were both of those girls who were lovely. 0:42:53.280 --> 0:42:58.000 But when Laura and I sat down, and it sounds corny, 0:42:58.160 --> 0:43:00.640 but it was as if I'd known her for years, 0:43:01.040 --> 0:43:02.640 it was the most beautiful thing. 0:43:03.160 --> 0:43:07.359 And imagine if you chose the other one after that, Yeah, yeah, 0:43:07.440 --> 0:43:09.960 yeah that or did the honey badger and just took off. 0:43:10.160 --> 0:43:14.120 Yeah. Yeah, you and Laura do have a really great relationship, 0:43:14.120 --> 0:43:16.680 and I do, and I feel bad for other people 0:43:16.719 --> 0:43:19.000 out there who don't have great relationships with their mother 0:43:19.080 --> 0:43:22.720 in laws. But would you have any advice for maybe 0:43:22.760 --> 0:43:25.040 if there's any women out there who will down the 0:43:25.080 --> 0:43:27.120 line become a mother in law, how can they have 0:43:27.239 --> 0:43:29.520 a good relationship with their child's partner. 0:43:30.360 --> 0:43:35.080 Wow, that's an impossible question because there are so many layers. 0:43:35.520 --> 0:43:38.880 First of all, like we all know, with friendships, you've 0:43:39.160 --> 0:43:42.480 just got to gel and sometimes you meet them for 0:43:42.520 --> 0:43:46.240 the first time and there's common interest and it's easy. 0:43:46.800 --> 0:43:49.400 And with your mother in law, I think the one 0:43:49.520 --> 0:43:56.239 thing never to criticize her son. It would be very 0:43:56.280 --> 0:43:59.239 easy once you get to know them really well. You know, 0:43:59.320 --> 0:44:03.800 you go, gosh, she does no because in her eyes 0:44:03.960 --> 0:44:09.719 you're criticizing her. Yes, Yeah, good advice and I'm going. 0:44:10.760 --> 0:44:12.560 Doesn't say a bad word about me again. 0:44:14.440 --> 0:44:15.040 Yeah. 0:44:15.320 --> 0:44:19.800 Try to look at your own little boy or daughter 0:44:20.200 --> 0:44:24.160 and imagine that one day someone is going to be 0:44:24.280 --> 0:44:27.879 more important in their lives than you are, and how 0:44:27.960 --> 0:44:28.760 you would feel. 0:44:28.960 --> 0:44:32.360 I think that's it's difficult for some mums to accept. 0:44:32.040 --> 0:44:35.240 And let go. Yeah, because there's there's always those cringy 0:44:35.280 --> 0:44:37.480 things on the line where it's just like your mum's 0:44:37.480 --> 0:44:40.040 your first love. It's like that's a bit much. 0:44:41.719 --> 0:44:44.520 You know what I mean, just a little bit too much, 0:44:45.000 --> 0:44:48.880 Like I think it's maybe easier. Maybe tell me if 0:44:48.920 --> 0:44:51.560 this is wrong. When you have five kids, you kind 0:44:51.560 --> 0:44:52.719 of you are happy for them. 0:44:54.719 --> 0:44:57.920 Yeah, if you got one boy, if you got one child, one. 0:44:57.760 --> 0:45:01.160 Boy, three in the way, all still single. 0:45:01.400 --> 0:45:04.120 If anyone if anyone's looking for a drug meal or 0:45:07.800 --> 0:45:12.520 just reached out to Math's mom, I think, look solid advice, 0:45:12.680 --> 0:45:14.920 and look, my mom and my wife get on. I 0:45:14.960 --> 0:45:17.480 get on with my wife's mom. There's no you know, 0:45:17.520 --> 0:45:20.040 we're pretty open and pretty yeah, but you can imagine 0:45:20.040 --> 0:45:22.279 that there's somehow the that justa and you see it. 0:45:22.280 --> 0:45:24.600 They made a reality TV show about that as well. 0:45:25.160 --> 0:45:27.200 I remember when I said to my mom, what if 0:45:27.239 --> 0:45:29.640 I was on Big Brother? And my mum straight said, 0:45:29.680 --> 0:45:32.920 I disown you what that was. That's what came out 0:45:32.920 --> 0:45:34.759 of her mouth before I even told her that I 0:45:34.840 --> 0:45:38.640 was through these stages. And I was like, that's fine 0:45:38.640 --> 0:45:44.239 with me. But yeah, so you're very accepting of that, 0:45:44.280 --> 0:45:44.919 which is. 0:45:45.120 --> 0:45:47.560 But I think you have to support your kid. 0:45:47.800 --> 0:45:48.000 Yeah. 0:45:48.040 --> 0:45:52.200 I think whatever direction apart from drug meal, yeah, in 0:45:52.280 --> 0:45:53.880 ever direction they're going, yeah you go. 0:45:54.000 --> 0:45:56.360 Yeah. I think when I eventually was like this is 0:45:56.360 --> 0:45:58.520 where I'm actually just had to be like, oh, shit, 0:45:58.719 --> 0:46:01.200 I can't go. Am I going to go back on 0:46:01.200 --> 0:46:02.799 my word that I will disown you? It's like, well, 0:46:02.800 --> 0:46:07.200 that's your problem. One final question from me Matt's crocs. 0:46:08.280 --> 0:46:09.760 What are your thoughts on crocs? 0:46:10.520 --> 0:46:10.840 Well? 0:46:12.120 --> 0:46:15.439 I don't wear them, but people can. It's the sort 0:46:15.480 --> 0:46:20.600 of thing no people can, but you know, they either 0:46:20.680 --> 0:46:23.160 look silly on you, and it looks really silly on 0:46:23.200 --> 0:46:25.879 me because maybe I'm little, but I don't mind them. 0:46:26.920 --> 0:46:27.640 Let's leave it at that. 0:46:28.960 --> 0:46:30.040 I want to say one thing. 0:46:30.040 --> 0:46:32.279 Okay, well hang on before you get into that. A 0:46:32.320 --> 0:46:36.800 lot of people actually asked your beauty. Oh yeah, because 0:46:37.120 --> 0:46:38.719 you're seventy three. You look amazing. 0:46:38.920 --> 0:46:41.040 You don't have to tell me twice Matthew. 0:46:40.920 --> 0:46:44.360 One, shit, how dare you? 0:46:44.360 --> 0:46:47.759 You're eighty five and you look great. I look at 0:46:47.800 --> 0:46:51.000 your seventy one. I've been telling everyone your seventy three. 0:46:51.080 --> 0:46:54.000 So apologies, yeah, apologies, yeah, Look that's not on. 0:46:54.200 --> 0:46:55.719 What is your beauty secrets? 0:46:55.880 --> 0:46:56.240 Ellie? 0:46:56.760 --> 0:47:05.400 Look a little bit of everything except not the spurm 0:47:05.440 --> 0:47:08.040 on the face. You've heard about it, not yet anyway, 0:47:11.640 --> 0:47:18.759 not doing that. Look, I find this question just a 0:47:18.840 --> 0:47:23.279 tad embarrassing really, because you. 0:47:23.200 --> 0:47:24.280 Just take care of yourself. 0:47:24.520 --> 0:47:26.600 I do you know, Yeah, I suppose I take care 0:47:26.640 --> 0:47:27.200 of myself. 0:47:27.239 --> 0:47:29.239 I do something wrong with saying that I take care 0:47:29.239 --> 0:47:31.480 of yourself. I take care of myself. As you can see, 0:47:31.719 --> 0:47:33.319 I'm actually fifty five. 0:47:35.560 --> 0:47:38.160 How about with Marley and Lola, what traits do you 0:47:38.200 --> 0:47:40.680 see in them which you think they've gotten from me? 0:47:41.400 --> 0:47:46.480 Okay, it's still hard when they're this young, but I 0:47:46.520 --> 0:47:50.399 certainly see and I see Marley, who physically looks more 0:47:50.480 --> 0:47:55.960 like you, and Lola, who physically looks more like Laura. However, 0:47:56.120 --> 0:48:01.359 Marley has the artistic bent. I mean, it's obvious. She's 0:48:01.560 --> 0:48:02.360 very artistic. 0:48:02.400 --> 0:48:06.239 She's really clever, She's like little Laura. Yeah. When I 0:48:07.680 --> 0:48:10.359 when I met Marley before I met Laura, and then 0:48:10.640 --> 0:48:13.759 so i'd met Marley and how like she's really intelligent 0:48:13.800 --> 0:48:15.680 and even the way she kind of carries herself. And 0:48:15.680 --> 0:48:17.960 then I met Laura went, ah, yeah, that's where it 0:48:17.960 --> 0:48:18.399 comes from. 0:48:19.040 --> 0:48:22.560 So that's something that is from Laura. But the other 0:48:22.600 --> 0:48:25.799 thing I noticed, Matt being the middle child, it was 0:48:25.840 --> 0:48:27.759 always look at me, look at me, look at me. 0:48:28.000 --> 0:48:30.960 He still like that, look at me. 0:48:31.680 --> 0:48:34.640 That's why he went into drama and film and television 0:48:34.719 --> 0:48:37.640 courses and did that. But I'm beginning to see a 0:48:37.640 --> 0:48:40.320 little bit of that in Marley. I mean maybe both 0:48:40.360 --> 0:48:43.920 of them. But Marley, if you start to film her, 0:48:44.480 --> 0:48:47.640 she will change. She'll really respond. 0:48:47.760 --> 0:48:50.520 Yeah. I saw that video of her doing the singing 0:48:50.560 --> 0:48:52.600 to you guys with the hairbrush. 0:48:52.680 --> 0:48:53.720 She loves a little concert. 0:48:53.920 --> 0:48:54.280 Yeah. 0:48:54.560 --> 0:48:57.480 Because Matt, I have to say, am I correct in saying? Matt? 0:48:57.840 --> 0:49:03.040 You're not artistically art wise creative? You don't draw. 0:49:04.680 --> 0:49:09.040 Wait, you're not perfect, you are, but you are creative. 0:49:09.800 --> 0:49:11.560 I like to I like to draw. When I was younger, 0:49:11.719 --> 0:49:14.279 I really enjoyed drawing. I don't draw up much anymore, 0:49:14.520 --> 0:49:17.040 but I still like, you know, I love coming up 0:49:17.080 --> 0:49:18.640 with skip video ideas. 0:49:18.800 --> 0:49:22.239 Now that's where you're creative, lies coming up. 0:49:22.440 --> 0:49:25.880 You've got a good your ideas man. I'm the creative 0:49:25.920 --> 0:49:27.359 director and you're the ideas man. 0:49:28.360 --> 0:49:33.600 But your natural trait all through has been humor. You 0:49:33.840 --> 0:49:39.600 have been our entertainment at home, quick with with comebacks, 0:49:40.280 --> 0:49:45.080 make any situation funny. And I'm thinking that even Lola 0:49:45.280 --> 0:49:49.520 physically looks like Laura, Yeah she does, but I think 0:49:49.719 --> 0:49:54.320 she's going to be the funny one. I think Molly 0:49:54.480 --> 0:49:57.400 is a little more even though she loves the entertaining, 0:49:57.400 --> 0:50:00.759 but a little bit more serious. But then they change. 0:50:01.040 --> 0:50:04.120 Yeah, I guess Laura and I are so similar in 0:50:04.239 --> 0:50:08.000 personality times, but also in looks as well. Yeah. Literally, 0:50:08.040 --> 0:50:09.719 people are like are they siblings? Are they? 0:50:09.840 --> 0:50:12.279 It's funny like the two girls, because the other day 0:50:12.280 --> 0:50:14.000 when I rang you and it like we're both having 0:50:14.000 --> 0:50:17.480 a shit morning, and Marley's like the very distinct differences 0:50:17.480 --> 0:50:20.279 in your two kids. Marley's like ash like over look, 0:50:20.360 --> 0:50:22.799 I can click, and she's taking and all I can 0:50:22.840 --> 0:50:27.719 hear in the background is Lola going, And it was 0:50:27.760 --> 0:50:29.960 like that sums them up. Sometimes Lola is a little 0:50:30.000 --> 0:50:32.440 bit more like crazy what I see. But then Marley's 0:50:32.480 --> 0:50:35.320 like every time I've spoken to Marley's just like quiet, 0:50:35.760 --> 0:50:38.840 knows what she's saying and like really articulate with it. 0:50:38.960 --> 0:50:40.680 And when she's like, look, I can click, it was 0:50:40.760 --> 0:50:43.000 just like I was having a conversation with someone, not 0:50:43.040 --> 0:50:43.759 a four year old. 0:50:43.840 --> 0:50:46.200 She clicks, Well, yeah, amazing. 0:50:46.000 --> 0:50:47.800 She's good. You put the thing is, I've got a 0:50:47.800 --> 0:50:50.799 four year old two. You put those two together, and 0:50:50.960 --> 0:50:54.080 Marley's way ahead of Oscar. And when we thought, like Oscars, 0:50:54.080 --> 0:50:56.719 you got a cabillary is amazing, But like put in 0:50:56.760 --> 0:50:59.360 next someone like a girl the same age. Yeah, yeah, 0:50:59.480 --> 0:50:59.960 very different. 0:51:00.120 --> 0:51:03.439 Yeah, a question that we got, like so many of them. 0:51:03.560 --> 0:51:05.920 They're all about how do you still have a good 0:51:05.960 --> 0:51:09.200 relationship with your parent as an adult. And I think 0:51:09.200 --> 0:51:11.759 it's a really tough one to answer because we've been 0:51:11.800 --> 0:51:16.359 really fortunate that we've always just been really close. I think, 0:51:16.480 --> 0:51:19.000 obviously you love your child and you love your parent, 0:51:19.280 --> 0:51:21.239 but then whether or not you like each other and 0:51:21.280 --> 0:51:23.680 you have a good friendship in addition to having that 0:51:24.160 --> 0:51:26.759 parental love is a different thing. And we've always been 0:51:26.800 --> 0:51:29.719 super fortunate that, you know, from a really early age, 0:51:29.760 --> 0:51:33.600 Like you talk about me not really being too naughty, 0:51:34.200 --> 0:51:37.640 and I wholeheartedly mean this. When whenever there was a scenario, 0:51:38.200 --> 0:51:40.440 you know, when I did get in trouble, or if 0:51:40.440 --> 0:51:42.919 there was a situation where I if I had done 0:51:42.920 --> 0:51:44.480 a certain thing, I could have gotten in a lot 0:51:44.520 --> 0:51:46.960 of trouble. One of the reasons that I didn't do 0:51:47.000 --> 0:51:49.680 that is because I never wanted to disappoint you more 0:51:49.719 --> 0:51:51.279 so than like, would I actually get in trouble for this? 0:51:51.360 --> 0:51:53.080 It would always be a question of, like, with this, 0:51:53.120 --> 0:51:55.840 disappoint mum. And that's why I think you didn't have 0:51:55.920 --> 0:51:59.719 to keep us on a really tight leash, and then 0:52:00.000 --> 0:52:03.560 what kind of closeness is just carried on through Like 0:52:03.600 --> 0:52:06.840 you've always been like my confidant, Like any situation or advice, 0:52:07.440 --> 0:52:09.880 I've always like gone off. I don't ask mum's opinion, 0:52:09.920 --> 0:52:12.080 Like even though with Bachelor you're the first person that 0:52:12.120 --> 0:52:12.719 I called up. 0:52:12.840 --> 0:52:17.640 Yeah, that's nice that you feel that my opinion is valid. 0:52:17.880 --> 0:52:20.920 But I do think a few people have asked, you know, 0:52:21.040 --> 0:52:24.600 how to how do you get close to your children? 0:52:25.120 --> 0:52:28.720 And again there's so many layers. One layer is luck 0:52:29.960 --> 0:52:34.799 that you just click. The other layer is time that 0:52:34.920 --> 0:52:37.840 you make sure that you give a huge amount of 0:52:37.880 --> 0:52:40.200 time to your children, that you always try to be 0:52:40.400 --> 0:52:44.400 there when they need you. And that maybe leads on 0:52:44.680 --> 0:52:51.839 to the issue of another partner in your life. And 0:52:51.920 --> 0:52:56.040 I see that a lot in friends who've introduced a partner. 0:52:56.440 --> 0:53:01.600 That is a rocky road. Whether you are blending family 0:53:01.680 --> 0:53:06.880 with young children, with teenagers and even adults, it's very 0:53:06.920 --> 0:53:10.799 hard to make everybody happy where there's a new individual. 0:53:10.960 --> 0:53:14.560 It's very very difficult. And I've come to the I 0:53:14.600 --> 0:53:18.520 say to people when they're having difficulty with step children 0:53:18.600 --> 0:53:22.520 who are adults, and when you introduce another person into 0:53:22.560 --> 0:53:26.719 the family. You've got to imagine that your thirty one 0:53:26.840 --> 0:53:30.200 year old kid is actually ten years old, because that's 0:53:30.239 --> 0:53:33.879 how they're feeling. When you bring a new person into 0:53:33.960 --> 0:53:37.680 the family area, it's a very very different dynam the 0:53:37.880 --> 0:53:42.200 energy you need to look after kids, to go to work, 0:53:42.320 --> 0:53:45.400 and then to try to find a partner. That's very hard, 0:53:45.440 --> 0:53:49.320 and I feel very fortunate that I didn't feel that need. 0:53:50.080 --> 0:53:52.000 And it sounds a little bit, oh, you know, I 0:53:52.040 --> 0:53:55.359 sacrificed myself to my children. I don't see it that 0:53:55.440 --> 0:54:01.560 way some people might, but I really took in giving 0:54:01.640 --> 0:54:05.080 my time to you and to my job. I think 0:54:05.120 --> 0:54:07.000 that's helped us, do you think. 0:54:06.800 --> 0:54:08.600 Man, Yeah, yeah, I do, you know. 0:54:08.640 --> 0:54:13.520 And I I don't regret it, because my greatest achievement 0:54:13.920 --> 0:54:17.920 in my life if I had been the first female 0:54:18.040 --> 0:54:20.560 astronaut to land on the Moon, I can tell you 0:54:20.640 --> 0:54:25.759 now that my biggest achievement in life has been my 0:54:25.880 --> 0:54:29.040 children and grandchildren. And I know it's hard. People out 0:54:29.040 --> 0:54:31.479 there will say yes, but I deserve a life too, 0:54:31.840 --> 0:54:34.840 and I get that, so it's a tricky one, but 0:54:34.960 --> 0:54:38.480 I just feel grateful that I didn't have that need. 0:54:39.560 --> 0:54:42.400 But I do remember Matt once saying to me, but 0:54:42.920 --> 0:54:46.640 aren't there times when you really want a big fat cop. 0:54:50.920 --> 0:54:52.600 And that's a really, really good place. 0:54:52.800 --> 0:54:56.800 And your answer to that question was heck, yeah, you 0:54:56.920 --> 0:54:57.600 know what the. 0:54:57.600 --> 0:55:02.200 Answer was, how do you know I'm not getting oh shit? 0:55:02.840 --> 0:55:06.880 Okay, Well, look, I'm super excited to have you on 0:55:06.920 --> 0:55:09.800 the podcast and thank you so much and answering our questions, 0:55:09.840 --> 0:55:11.320 especially the forskin questions. 0:55:12.080 --> 0:55:14.319 It would be remiss of me not to take the 0:55:14.360 --> 0:55:19.040 opportunity to say thank you as a son, because I 0:55:19.120 --> 0:55:21.359 think you talk about luck and you talk about how 0:55:21.440 --> 0:55:24.600 fortunate you are to be given the children that you've 0:55:24.600 --> 0:55:27.880 been gifted, But at the same time, I'm so insanely 0:55:27.920 --> 0:55:30.759 lucky that I've been given you as a as a parent. 0:55:30.800 --> 0:55:33.600 I'm probably gonna cry when I talk about this. Sorry, 0:55:33.840 --> 0:55:35.360 I just can leave the room, no, but I just 0:55:35.360 --> 0:55:37.879 want to say, you know, the only reason why I 0:55:37.920 --> 0:55:40.040 am who I am today is because of you. Know, 0:55:40.080 --> 0:55:42.560 what you have given me and what you've encouraged me 0:55:42.920 --> 0:55:45.920 to take on and the past I've traveled. So you know, 0:55:45.920 --> 0:55:48.400 I'm only sitting here because of what I feel you 0:55:48.400 --> 0:55:50.080 have given me and how you have parented me. So 0:55:50.120 --> 0:55:52.600 you've done such an amazing job. I love you very much. 0:55:52.680 --> 0:55:53.440 I love you. 0:55:53.800 --> 0:55:57.440 Wow, this is very sweet. I feel like I'm third willing, 0:55:58.440 --> 0:56:01.200 But Matthew, thank you for me very vulnerable in that moment. 0:56:01.239 --> 0:56:02.560 I'm not rolling my ears at you at all. 0:56:03.239 --> 0:56:05.600 Well, Ellie, thank you so much for jumping on the podcast, 0:56:06.080 --> 0:56:08.320 putting up with Ash and myself for this. God, you 0:56:08.360 --> 0:56:09.040 did a great job. 0:56:09.120 --> 0:56:10.719 I won't charge too much. 0:56:10.880 --> 0:56:13.480 No good you need voice Me's It'll be in the. 0:56:13.480 --> 0:56:14.279 Mail, I'm sure. 0:56:14.920 --> 0:56:18.839 Normally at the end we ask people to review subscribe, 0:56:19.360 --> 0:56:22.279 leaves a number of stars. If you'd like to, you 0:56:22.280 --> 0:56:23.640 can encourage them to do the same. 0:56:24.080 --> 0:56:28.160 Don't forget to review and subscribe. 0:56:28.320 --> 0:56:30.640 Yes, if you've liked this episode, As Ellie said, don't 0:56:30.640 --> 0:56:34.760 forget to review and subscribe. Also follow us on Instagram. 0:56:34.960 --> 0:56:37.680 Maybe we'll get one of my parents on sometime within 0:56:37.719 --> 0:56:42.799 your future. I hope not. Maybe Dad, Maybe I don't 0:56:42.800 --> 0:56:45.840 think Mum would be booking. But anyway, thank you again 0:56:46.040 --> 0:56:48.520 and thank you everyone for listening. That's all a good 0:56:48.520 --> 0:56:48.920 time for. 0:56:58.640 --> 0:57:02.240 Two Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country 0:57:02.280 --> 0:57:05.960 throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. 0:57:06.200 --> 0:57:08.720 We pay our respects to their elders past and present, 0:57:08.760 --> 0:57:11.880 and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander 0:57:11.920 --> 0:57:15.560 peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land.