Speaker 1: The pickup. Welcome, it is Brits, Laura and Mitch. Thanks
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Speaker 2: Ask arm cut, So ask arm cut is a show favorite.
Speaker 2: We do it every week here at the pickup. It's
Speaker 2: where you guys.
Speaker 1: You're calling.
Speaker 2: You give us your deepest, darkest, biggest problems and even
Speaker 2: if we might not have the skills, we'll do her
Speaker 2: absolute best to answer that.
Speaker 1: We'll give it a shot. We've got Lea on thirteen
Speaker 1: one O sixty five. Hi, Leah, what's your issue? How
Speaker 1: can we help?
Speaker 3: Hi? So I found the perfect man, but he doesn't
Speaker 3: really get along with my friends.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, see me.
Speaker 3: They've spent some time together. It's always just really awkward.
Speaker 3: And every time I talk to him about it, asked,
Speaker 3: he just says that they're a bit weird.
Speaker 4: Okay, So when you say it's awkward, is it awkward
Speaker 4: because he's just disinterested, could and careless back getting to
Speaker 4: know them he's bored? Or is it awkward because he
Speaker 4: has made it abundantly clear he does.
Speaker 3: Not like I'm really unsure to tell, but when I've
Speaker 3: talked to him about it, he's just he gets a
Speaker 3: bit quiet about it all whenever he's around them, when
Speaker 3: he talks, it just seems to come out as really
Speaker 3: judgmental when he does actually think.
Speaker 1: Them, wella is it mutual? So does he say, God, babe,
Speaker 1: your friends are weed and do they talk to you going, hey,
Speaker 1: your boyfriend's a bit weird? Or is it one sided?
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, it's it's very much mutual. I think they
Speaker 3: both have come to just not get along and don't
Speaker 3: like spending any time together.
Speaker 2: So what do you I mean when you do go
Speaker 2: out as a group, Like, what does he do? Does
Speaker 2: he just purposely not speak to them? Did he not
Speaker 2: put any effort in at the start?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: I think a bit of context around it is so
Speaker 2: important because it's a massive red flag to have a
Speaker 2: partner who just doesn't like any of your friends.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I thought if they spend a bit of time together
Speaker 3: they would be okay. But it's kind of been this
Speaker 3: way from the beginning where he's he's naturally a pretty
Speaker 3: quiet person, but I think when he does speak, they
Speaker 3: tend to take it the wrong way. I think they
Speaker 3: just don't know him the way I know him.
Speaker 4: All Right, here's a question. If you have to choose
Speaker 4: between your friends or your boyfriend, who you pick in.
Speaker 3: I can't choose.
Speaker 4: Well, You're gonna have to figure something out. It's so
Speaker 4: important to have them all in the same room and
Speaker 4: the same function and events, and everyone in your life
Speaker 4: get along. I think it's worryingly isolating when you have
Speaker 4: a partner who doesn't like your friends, And especially if
Speaker 4: you've had boyfriends in the past and your friends have
Speaker 4: always gotten along with them. If you all of a
Speaker 4: sudden have someone in your life who your friends don't
Speaker 4: like and he doesn't like them, I think it's a
Speaker 4: pretty big litmus for the fact that maybe there is
Speaker 4: something wrong there. And the fact that he's not putting
Speaker 4: in any effort. To me, that's a huge red flag
Speaker 4: because your friends have your best interest at heart.
Speaker 2: They want you to be happy. So for me, I'm like,
Speaker 2: he should be trying and turning around and just being
Speaker 2: like it's because they're weird. I don't want to put
Speaker 2: in any effort for me. That's a red flag about
Speaker 2: the partner.
Speaker 1: Oh, I think it's amazing, yahag I think would Julia,
Speaker 1: And I'm not putting this back on you because I
Speaker 1: think he's a grown ass man. He can make a
Speaker 1: conversation totally. But is there any way maybe he's got
Speaker 1: to be a social anxiety. Anyway you can bring him
Speaker 1: in a little more. Maybe because I've been in relationships
Speaker 1: in the past where I felt my ex hasn't integrated
Speaker 1: me well enough into the friend group, because it can
Speaker 1: be awkward and intimidating to come into a partner's friend group.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're a really close group. So I'm thinking maybe
Speaker 3: what I need to do is make him more comfortable,
Speaker 3: or maybe do an activity that's more in his.
Speaker 4: Fourte twister play twister group twist, I'd be having some
Speaker 4: big conversations with him.
Speaker 2: I think if he can't try and put in some
Speaker 2: effort around your friends, I think that that's a really
Speaker 2: big that's for me. Is it's a big, big red flat.
Speaker 1: I agree, Lea, all right, I hope that helps listen.
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Speaker 1: That's right, and the next ask on cut call we
Speaker 1: have on next week, we'll give a double pass two
Speaker 1: Just check you get a pass and brick because you've
Speaker 1: got them in your pocket. Are you okay to be
Speaker 1: the one that gives it to them?
Speaker 4: I would love to be the one that gives it
Speaker 4: to them.
Speaker 1: Absolutely. Well, that's next week, and go to the pick
Speaker 1: up socials. Make sure you're following the pickup socials for
Speaker 1: all the gosts.
Speaker 2: Now, I know a lot of you know that it's
Speaker 2: bookweek happening. If you're a mum, you will be very
Speaker 2: well aware. And I have a story that I think
Speaker 2: you are going to relate to because I had the
Speaker 2: biggest bookwek parenting fail all right, next on the pickup