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Speaker 1: Ash, what are your thoughts on a thirty day intimacy challenge?

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Speaker 2: I'm listening us.

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Speaker 1: Well, not we could, but well maybe your wife, who the.

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Speaker 2: Hell could last thirty days? More like thirty seconds?

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Speaker 1: Hey, well you know Steph kles Smith I do. You're

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Speaker 1: a big fan of her work. She is one of

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Speaker 1: the co founders of one of this country's most successful

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Speaker 1: fitness apps. It's called Kick or Keep It Cleaner. She's

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Speaker 1: got over one point five million followers. Have also got

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Speaker 1: kick pod as well, which is hugely successful. Her and

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Speaker 1: her husband, Josh, they recently made the commitment to each

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Speaker 1: other and it turns out Ash it did their relationship

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Speaker 1: some good.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Who'd a thought that three days of intimacy would help

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Speaker 3: her relationship? Yes, Steph and Josh have been together since

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Speaker 3: they were teenagers, so you've got to find creative ways

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Speaker 3: to keep the spice alive, especially when you have a

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Speaker 3: three year old.

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Speaker 1: Harvey ended the world during the height of COVID lockdown.

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Speaker 1: What a time to be conceived.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, baby, COVID baby. She also has a love for

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Speaker 2: jet ski, so let's lock in and find out why

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Speaker 2: that is.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to two doting dads and one doting mom.

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Speaker 1: I'm Maddie Jay, I'm.

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Speaker 4: Ash's Steph Clesmith, mamma of Harvey.

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Speaker 2: Very very very thank you.

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Speaker 1: And this is a podcast all about parenting.

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Speaker 2: It is the good, it is the bad and the relatable.

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Speaker 1: Now, Steph, we don't give advice. You never have, we

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Speaker 1: never will. But if you feel like you want to

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Speaker 1: give any advice whatsoever, absolutely you're allowed to.

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Speaker 2: Do whatever you lie. But we give that warning at

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Speaker 2: the start so of people.

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Speaker 3: But that didn't work, then we can be like, well,

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Speaker 3: it's not real advice.

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Speaker 1: Occasionally we'll give some medical advice. Yeah, but for legal reasons.

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Speaker 2: We're not doctors.

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Speaker 1: We're not doctors yet.

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Speaker 5: Okay, are you working on that?

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Speaker 1: Steph? We're going to go back to the very beginning

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Speaker 1: of time, back to when you were a lot younger. Okay,

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Speaker 1: what was a young Steph? Claire Smith Like, I feel

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Speaker 1: like you were the kind of person that would be

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Speaker 1: like ducks of the school.

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Speaker 2: Why did you take the words out of my mouth?

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Speaker 2: And I haven't heard the word ducks at a while.

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Speaker 2: I might throw that out there.

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Speaker 1: Never got a detention, always got an A plus.

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Speaker 2: Is that the right picture?

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Speaker 4: On Paine?

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Speaker 5: Over to the opposite, Yes, yes, like I definitely. I

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Speaker 5: think in the subjects that I enjoyed, I got along

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Speaker 5: with my teacher and I got good grades.

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Speaker 4: But I was not academic.

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Speaker 1: What were those subjects that you liked, like.

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Speaker 5: Food, take, like studio art that, But no, I definitely

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Speaker 5: had detentions, more so in primary.

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Speaker 4: School a lot of them.

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Speaker 5: I was Actually I was very easily distracted, so I

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Speaker 5: loved drawing, and if I didn't really love a subject,

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Speaker 5: I just kind of added to this thing that I

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Speaker 5: called jodd of drawings, which became like little booklets of

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Speaker 5: random creatures.

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Speaker 2: Do you still have made?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Actually, wow, that's pretty awesome. You're a doodler.

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Speaker 4: I'm a doodler. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Language, and so detentions were usually just because of that,

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Speaker 5: and it was kind of a repeat offense.

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Speaker 2: Seemed like a really bad thing to do.

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Speaker 3: It's like like you were just drawing a little bit

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Speaker 3: and they're like detention.

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Speaker 2: Was it a strict school that you went to.

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Speaker 4: No, it wasn't.

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Speaker 5: And to be fair, you hung out with the vice

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Speaker 5: principal and everyone loved him, so maybe I don't know,

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Speaker 5: maybe I did it on purpose.

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Speaker 4: He was a nice guy.

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Speaker 5: But also there was one that I definitely I do

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Speaker 5: regret it wasn't a very nice thing, although he was

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Speaker 5: a bit of a bully himself. So you know, we're

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Speaker 5: playing four square, and I think I called what's four square?

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Speaker 2: Hamble?

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Speaker 4: Wait?

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Speaker 2: What hamble? The one that yeah square handle a king queen?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, two squirrel four square? Depending on how many

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Speaker 4: feel like.

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Speaker 2: A back in primary school, Wow, I didn't. I'll send

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Speaker 2: you a how to later.

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Speaker 5: I missed this and he annoyed me, and I think

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Speaker 5: I called him a buck tooth, and then.

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Speaker 2: I go to, wow, that's a fancive.

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Speaker 4: I was probably seven, but I definitely got your.

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Speaker 2: Mouth shamed in straight up.

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Speaker 1: So when you got that detention, would you be more

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Speaker 1: afraid of telling your mom or your dad? Like who

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Speaker 1: was more strict?

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Speaker 4: My mom?

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Speaker 5: Only just because I feel like my dad was a

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Speaker 5: bit of a rebel growing up, and so through my

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Speaker 5: teens as well, like I started drinking before I should have.

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Speaker 5: I would skip on classes and stuff, And I feel

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Speaker 5: like my mom she was the youngest of quite a

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Speaker 5: lot of siblings, and she was a bit of a goodie.

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Speaker 4: I don't want to call it well.

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Speaker 5: She was good at shoe shoes, like very very would

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Speaker 5: have been teacher's pet kind of person, and I didn't

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Speaker 5: really gel with her until I got a bit older.

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Speaker 5: Always got along with her, love my mom to bits,

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Speaker 5: very grateful for our relationship, but yeah, I didn't really

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Speaker 5: see myself in her until now I'm a mom and

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Speaker 5: I'm like, oh my god, you were the best mum

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Speaker 5: that I could have asked for, and I want to

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Speaker 5: be everything like you. But my dad, growing up, I

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Speaker 5: knew that he was a bit of a rebel and

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Speaker 5: like just kind of did things his own way, so

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Speaker 5: I wouldn't have I feel like he would.

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Speaker 4: Have understood things like that.

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Speaker 5: But he was the one I was a little bit

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Speaker 5: more scared of, Like if I was in trouble at home,

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Speaker 5: I'd run away from him. From him, Yeah, but his

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Speaker 5: mom just had the disappointing kind of yeah wow.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: No, definitely not like a across the bord a plus

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Speaker 5: student ducks of the school.

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Speaker 4: No, I was like sports captain.

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Speaker 2: That's pretty good.

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Speaker 1: But that makes a lot of sense.

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Speaker 2: Did they have to vote you in or you just.

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Speaker 5: Like in primary school they did and then in high

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Speaker 5: school I kind of remember how that worked.

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Speaker 1: So why do you think he didn't gel with your mom?

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Speaker 1: Is it just like you just didn't click before.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it was just like, well like we did,

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Speaker 4: we got along.

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Speaker 5: It was never that kind of mum and daughter relationship

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Speaker 5: where we were like screaming each other anything. I don't

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Speaker 5: think I ever raised my voice at it, But I

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Speaker 5: just I feel like when she'd find things out, or

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Speaker 5: like if i'd I don't know, skip school for a

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Speaker 5: boy or something like that, just didn't really feel like

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Speaker 5: she understood.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, okay, likes just way more sensible. It was like,

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Speaker 3: why would you do something so irresponsible? What were you

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Speaker 3: skipping school for?

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Speaker 2: Josh?

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Speaker 1: No, not yet for anyone who doesn't know is your husband?

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Speaker 4: He is my husband. I was funny story about that.

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Speaker 5: I actually my mum found mms texts mms.

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Speaker 4: In my phone bill, which she still look after unless

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Speaker 4: I went over.

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Speaker 1: Was it like thirty cents mms?

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Speaker 5: They were to Josh And this is when we were younger.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, that was a funny moment. Josh's number, this.

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Speaker 2: Is Josh's what instead of Josh's did your mom?

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Speaker 1: Did your mom have to call the number to find

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Speaker 1: out who?

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Speaker 5: Well, she just knew and she we weren't dating, so

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Speaker 5: she was a bit like what's going on?

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Speaker 1: So how old were you then?

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Speaker 4: I think I was like sixteen.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you know what those mmss would have been about.

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Speaker 1: If you weren't dating then did it take a while

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Speaker 1: for Josh to caught you or vice versa?

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Speaker 5: Well, so when we met, I was twelve, and so

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Speaker 5: I think I was just like too young to go.

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Speaker 4: There's three years older than me.

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Speaker 3: So you've only since you were twelve, so it'd been fifteen.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's a long time.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, eighteen years. Yeah my age.

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Speaker 3: Now either one of us were like, oh, we'll work

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Speaker 3: that out after you've le message.

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Speaker 1: Was eighteen years.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, you're like thirty.

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Speaker 4: But no, we started dating when I was eighteen.

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Speaker 2: That is just so he's like that long.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean there was a lot of like flirting

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Speaker 5: along the way.

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Speaker 4: People went surprised when it happened.

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Speaker 3: Were their boyfriends in between? Yah, Okay, it wasn't like

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Speaker 3: it was like, no, they's a notebook and he was

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Speaker 3: like waiting in the rain six years.

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Speaker 1: So when was the moment that the penny dropped?

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Speaker 2: Then?

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Speaker 5: For you and Josh, it was basically the first time

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Speaker 5: we were both away together because we both have property

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Speaker 5: up on the Morro River, and that's where we spent

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Speaker 5: a lot of the time because our families did up there,

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Speaker 5: and it was basically the long weekend up there that

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Speaker 5: we were both single.

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Speaker 4: It was the first time we spin.

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Speaker 2: In the bottle. There's definitely spin the bottle that weekend.

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Speaker 1: Did he make the move or did you make the move?

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Speaker 4: I can't remember.

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Speaker 5: I think it was just that we were both very

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Speaker 5: much aware that something was going to happen that weekend.

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Speaker 4: I remember going on the jet ski.

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Speaker 1: Actually there's no better afrodisiac ski.

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Speaker 3: No, sorry, listener, it's just a technical listening.

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Speaker 1: Ash is getting a little bit.

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Speaker 2: You said, jet ski. I was like, I'm in, I'm

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Speaker 2: in for the ride.

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Speaker 5: And it was just, you know, in the way that

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Speaker 5: we were hovering each other that it was like it's

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Speaker 5: on tonight.

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Speaker 4: It is on.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: It certainly was for anyone who has a crush out

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Speaker 1: there not sure how to like make come in my house,

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Speaker 1: got a jet ski.

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Speaker 3: The way he held me on that jet ski, that

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Speaker 3: is that is very good.

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Speaker 2: All Right, we're gonna have to finish this up now.

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Speaker 1: And do you remember when you're getting a little bit older,

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Speaker 1: let's say, you know, around your early twenties, did you

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Speaker 1: and Josh discuss openly the thought of having kids and

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Speaker 1: what that plan looked like earlier on?

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Speaker 4: I think, I mean, we were really lucky.

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Speaker 5: We traveled a lot together and had all of those

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Speaker 5: kind of experiences in our life really early, which was

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Speaker 5: really nice. So I think soon after that we were

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Speaker 5: both talking back getting married and like getting engaged and

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Speaker 5: what engaged at them, and then yeah, kids was something

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Speaker 5: I wanted from a pretty young age, but because I

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Speaker 5: was full time modeling.

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Speaker 4: I was like, well, I'll just wait till I'm a

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Speaker 4: bit older.

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Speaker 5: And then Kick my Business happened, and it just felt

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Speaker 5: like the right time when it did.

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Speaker 3: With Harvey, how long were you dating before he dropped

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Speaker 3: in there?

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Speaker 2: And actually two part question and how did he do it?

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Speaker 5: So two thousand and eighteen we were engaged and we

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Speaker 5: started dating in two thousand eleven or twelve, Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Seven years see my mask work. Then well, thank you,

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Speaker 3: I'm learning.

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Speaker 4: And it was such a lovely surprise.

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Speaker 5: We'd actually just launched the app, the Kick app, and

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Speaker 5: it was a really big moment and we were really

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Speaker 5: it was just it was awesome. It went to the

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Speaker 5: top of the Apple charts on the night of launch,

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Speaker 5: and we went out to celebrate. And when I say we,

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Speaker 5: my business partner Laura Henshaw and Josh and her partner

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Speaker 5: Dom We all went out for dinner and they got us,

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Speaker 5: well they got me this, Well, no, they got us.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: It was for Laura and I this like voucher to

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Speaker 5: go away and spend the weekend away. And it was

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Speaker 5: supposed to just be celebrating and like we're getting the

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Speaker 5: chopper there.

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Speaker 4: It was very very bougie.

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Speaker 5: And then the weekend came around and it was the

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Speaker 5: worst weather ever, like really windy, really rainy, and so

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Speaker 5: the chopper got canceled. But what I didn't know was

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Speaker 5: it was all a set up, and they both totally

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Speaker 5: knew about it, and all of our friends and family

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Speaker 5: were up the river waiting for me.

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Speaker 4: Basically, so Josh said, change of plans.

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Speaker 5: The chopper is now picking you up from the farm

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Speaker 5: and then it's going to take you to the place

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Speaker 5: because the weather. So Dalton's driving to the river and

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Speaker 5: he's never been there before and he was driving like

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Speaker 5: an idiot. But we were just so excited in the back.

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Speaker 5: I was like, this is gonna be the best thing ever.

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Speaker 5: I was totally distracted. And then we pull up and

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Speaker 5: I get out of the car and I see joh

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Speaker 5: and he wasn't meant to be there, like we were

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Speaker 5: just meant to be getting the chopper there, and I was.

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Speaker 3: Like, why is he Every time you say the chopper,

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Speaker 3: I could just see it.

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Speaker 4: And I just it's fine. And so he was standing

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Speaker 4: out there and I was like, what's Josh doing here?

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Speaker 5: And then all of a sudden, Dol just drives off

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Speaker 5: on me and it's a pretty long driveway, and.

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Speaker 2: You're like, motherfucker, he just left me.

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Speaker 5: I think I started to put two and two together then,

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Speaker 5: and then you just have this awkward like like do

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Speaker 5: we walk or run towards each other?

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Speaker 2: Like would be.

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Speaker 1: Nice if hit a jet ski.

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Speaker 2: Is by the good.

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Speaker 5: And I didn't know, but yeah, our family and friends

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Speaker 5: were like in the house apparently.

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Speaker 4: Like peeking out of the watch.

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Speaker 5: And then we went back to the house after it happened,

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Speaker 5: and I said yes, and first of all our family

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Speaker 5: came out and that was a lovely surprise, but then yeah,

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Speaker 5: all our friend like closest friends and one of mine

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Speaker 5: who's like assisted of me, he flew over from New.

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Speaker 4: Zealand to be there. For it, and it was just

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Speaker 4: the best weekend ever.

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Speaker 5: Like that night we had a movie and popcorn on

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Speaker 5: the deck like outside, and he's very good.

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Speaker 2: He is very good. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: if you're listening and haven't done it yet, Josh.

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Speaker 5: Miller nice because it was where we met, where we

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Speaker 5: first kissed.

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Speaker 1: Full circle.

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Speaker 2: Was the Jetski still there? Forget part of the family.

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Speaker 1: What were the questions then that you and Josh would

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Speaker 1: ask in order to figure out that it was the

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Speaker 1: right time to have a family.

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Speaker 5: So from there it was a couple of years until

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Speaker 5: we had Harvey. But to be honest, we always kind

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Speaker 5: of imagined we go on our honeymoon and we'd start

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Speaker 5: trying then and then.

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Speaker 2: That soon yeah straight up.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Well, our honeymoon wasn't straight after.

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Speaker 5: It was going to be because we got married in

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Speaker 5: November twenty nineteen. Our honeymoon was supposed to be the

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Speaker 5: holidays in Australia in Europe, but then COVID hit in

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Speaker 5: like March, so we went into lockdown and didn't have that,

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Speaker 5: and so I think the timing was just Okay, there's

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Speaker 5: a couple of things happening with Kick, we'll get through that,

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Speaker 5: and obviously it's COVID, so who knows when we're going

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Speaker 5: to get to Italy. But we both really wanted a family,

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Speaker 5: so we're like Italy or no, Italy will still try. Wow, okay,

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Speaker 5: and fortunately for us it didn't take long.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, as two men, we're quite if you're not

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Speaker 1: aware ash myself, but we're very lucky and that when

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Speaker 1: it comes time to having a family. Well for me anyway,

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Speaker 1: the big question Mike, and what makes me nervous is

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Speaker 1: what happens as soon as baby is born. Like, we

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Speaker 1: don't have to worry too much about pregnant practice.

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Speaker 2: Just to practice leading into it. That's all we've got

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Speaker 2: to worry about.

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Speaker 1: Getting some nice visuals. Sorry, what's it like for yourself?

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Speaker 1: I know you mentioned before that you've got your fitness app.

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Speaker 1: You know you're a model, so you're in a profession.

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Speaker 1: Were two professions that are like very dependent.

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Speaker 4: On how ability and how I look?

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Speaker 1: Yes, So then what's it like for you to process?

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Speaker 1: What impact will pregnancy have on me?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: I think I went into it probably naively, thinking like

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Speaker 5: it'll be fine, Everything's going to be fine, and fortunately

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Speaker 5: I was. I felt really healthy throughout my pregnancy, so

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Speaker 5: there was still a lot that I could do.

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Speaker 4: My routine didn't have to change too much.

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Speaker 5: Again, it was COVID lockdown so for my entire pregnancy,

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Speaker 5: so I didn't have my usual lifestyle where I was

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Speaker 5: like flying up to Sydney or Queensland all the time

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Speaker 5: for different shoots or going overseas for different things.

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Speaker 4: It was in my house the whole time. So in

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Speaker 4: that regard, it was okay with my body.

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Speaker 5: I think I'm just really fortunate in the timing that

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Speaker 5: it happened for me. Like if I was pregnant in

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Speaker 5: my early twenties, when I was the most insecure about

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Speaker 5: my body, I would have probably.

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Speaker 4: Really stressed about what's going to happen too.

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Speaker 5: How am I going to get it back or whatever.

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Speaker 5: But the bounce back culture, it makes me so mad,

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Speaker 5: especially with all the work that we do with Kick

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Speaker 5: and everything I've done personally in the work with myself.

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Speaker 5: As soon as I was pregnant and I started to

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Speaker 5: look into, you know, safe ways to exercise, I started

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Speaker 5: to see and get targeted with all of these ads

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Speaker 5: for postpartum and like get bouncing back and everything, and

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Speaker 5: I got so angry because I know plenty of women

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Speaker 5: who have unfortunately had really hard pregnancies where they had

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Speaker 5: to stop exercise altogether or eat really differently, or even

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Speaker 5: if they could move their entire pregnancy, they still you know,

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Speaker 5: gained weight as you do, their body changed.

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Speaker 4: And then there's the postpartum period.

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Speaker 5: Which are moosted to be supposed to be the most

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Speaker 5: delicate on yourself and like really ease back into it.

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Speaker 4: But women are pressure to like.

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Speaker 2: Bounce back quick like we did before.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, I've never heard of it being referred to

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Speaker 3: as bounce back culture.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I remember, like as a kid, my mum used

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Speaker 1: to always get Who weekly magazines and it was always going.

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Speaker 1: It was just always on, like the kitchen jay. Well

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Speaker 1: you know, you'd have breakfast and you flick through. And

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Speaker 1: I remember being younger and it was so celebrated that

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Speaker 1: if someone bunce back as quickly as everyone was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: like what are achievement? This is great?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah exactly.

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Speaker 5: And it's just it's different for everyone, and a lot

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Speaker 5: of women never bounce back, and that's just the thing.

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Speaker 5: So I think for me, it's what got me really

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Speaker 5: really passionate about being able to connect with that part

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Speaker 5: of our community and making sure that everything that we

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Speaker 5: did from kickside was to just nurture and like educate

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Speaker 5: them on that period. And it's all well and good

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Speaker 5: that you want to get back to moving your body,

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Speaker 5: but you just it's so dangerous to jump back into

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Speaker 5: things just for aesthetic reasons as well. Yeah, because, as

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Speaker 5: I said, some people never go back to what they

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Speaker 5: had before, and that's totally okay, but if you're not

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Speaker 5: in that mindset, that could be really hard.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, my wife is one of those people that, after

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Speaker 3: two kids, wanted to get back moving pretty much immediately

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Speaker 3: for our own mental health as well. It wasn't just

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Speaker 3: for the not bounce back culture, which was like I

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Speaker 3: want to feel like me again. And I can imagine

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Speaker 3: there's a lot of people out there that go So

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Speaker 3: you go through nine months, have been told okay, we'll

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Speaker 3: look for your health, you need to maybe not move,

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Speaker 3: and then you have a traumatic birth or you've got

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Speaker 3: a difficult baby. Then all of a sudden, two three

404
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Speaker 3: years go past. You can imagine losing motivation, like I'll

405
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Speaker 3: lose motivation after a week.

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Speaker 2: I'm not doing exactly.

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Speaker 3: I can't imagine two years of a woman who's given

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Speaker 3: birth gone through so much trauma and then been expected

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Speaker 3: to be like, well, you need to find that motivation

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Speaker 3: again and put that pressure put on them on top

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Speaker 3: of everything else.

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Speaker 2: I can't imagine.

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Speaker 5: Yeah it is, and I think that's why. I mean,

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Speaker 5: for me anyway, it was taking baby steps. I did

415
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Speaker 5: have the added pressure of like knowing that eventually I'm

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Speaker 5: going to have to shoot workouts again, so I need

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Speaker 5: to build my strength up.

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Speaker 4: But to your point, it was also a mental thing

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Speaker 4: for me.

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Speaker 5: I enjoy moving my body and I enjoy having that

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Speaker 5: time for myself, and I'm a pretty cranky person if

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Speaker 5: I don't. It's not a daily thing for me, Like

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Speaker 5: I don't have to do a workout every day, and

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Speaker 5: my routine certainly looks very different now being a mum

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Speaker 5: to what it did before. But I've come to accept

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Speaker 5: that because I do what I can, and you know,

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Speaker 5: my workouts might be fifteen minutes now, yeah I haven't.

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Speaker 3: That's totally you find yourself squeezing it in where you can,

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Speaker 3: I suppose, yeah, but it's.

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Speaker 5: Still I think for me, it's like I'm still doing

431
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Speaker 5: something for me even if it's fifteen minutes.

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Speaker 4: So it's like, oh, I don't have forty, so I'm

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Speaker 4: not going to do anything at all.

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Speaker 3: That's exactly my Yeah, you just eat the nail on

435
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Speaker 3: the head with me straight away.

436
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Speaker 2: I'll be like, oh, I've got twenty minutes workouts.

437
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Speaker 1: Usually I'll go to the bathroom.

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Speaker 2: How did you.

439
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Speaker 1: Plan it then?

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Speaker 2: As well?

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Speaker 1: I know, I look at Laura running a small business.

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Speaker 1: You don't have the luxury of having like an extended

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Speaker 1: period of time going into having a baby. How did

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Speaker 1: you plan that knowing what the impact would be running

445
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Speaker 1: a small business?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so I think again with the timing with.

447
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Speaker 5: I think where Kick was at and where the team

448
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Speaker 5: was at and what we were working on, and also

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Speaker 5: COVID being in Melbourne.

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Speaker 4: Particularly, we just felt like it was forever.

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Speaker 5: Like it was exhausting how many press conferences we'd get

452
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,159
Speaker 5: excited about and then just feel really let down. And

453
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:05,959
Speaker 5: so everyone was just kind of like this could be

454
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,040
Speaker 5: years or it could be next week, like who knows.

455
00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:11,240
Speaker 2: Every day it was about the numbers, I remember, yes.

456
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,400
Speaker 5: And so I think we just came to a point

457
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,639
Speaker 5: where we were like, this is something we really really want,

458
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,760
Speaker 5: and who knows what's going to happen with the world,

459
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:22,359
Speaker 5: so we can't just keep putting it off for the

460
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,400
Speaker 5: unknown and we'll work it out.

461
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,080
Speaker 1: So does that mean it was only Josh in the

462
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:29,040
Speaker 1: room then?

463
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:28,399
Speaker 2: For the.

464
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,720
Speaker 1: Obviously for the conception, thank you.

465
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:36,560
Speaker 2: It was only him because of lockdown.

466
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:38,680
Speaker 1: For the birth, Oh, for.

467
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:42,320
Speaker 5: The birth, no, actually really really well it was just Josh.

468
00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:45,240
Speaker 5: But luckily they let me have a close friend of

469
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,600
Speaker 5: mine who ended up taking photos of the birth, which

470
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:52,639
Speaker 5: I'm so glad I pushed for because it was like

471
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:54,960
Speaker 5: some of the photos I just I think it's crazy

472
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,159
Speaker 5: to be able to look back at. But yeah, she

473
00:20:57,240 --> 00:21:00,800
Speaker 5: almost wasn't because it was very very in the scans, Like,

474
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,040
Speaker 5: we were really lucky where we went. It was probably

475
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,439
Speaker 5: the only place that I knew of in our area

476
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,359
Speaker 5: that actually allowed the partner to go in for the scans.

477
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:11,280
Speaker 5: And I couldn't have imagine doing that, like thirteen week scan,

478
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:16,399
Speaker 5: the scariest one really without him. So very grateful that

479
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:17,880
Speaker 5: he could be there for that, because yeah, I heard

480
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:21,080
Speaker 5: some other stories of people going into birth alone and

481
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:22,280
Speaker 5: labor alone and.

482
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,199
Speaker 3: Oh it must be so so tough, Like, yeah, it

483
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,160
Speaker 3: was such a strange.

484
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:27,040
Speaker 4: Is it such a strange?

485
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:28,760
Speaker 1: When Marley was born, I was like, it wants to

486
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 1: come in I was like, my mum was there?

487
00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:32,160
Speaker 2: She forgot to ask Laura.

488
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,360
Speaker 1: Yeah it was I was like, did I not mention

489
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,359
Speaker 1: my Mum's coming into the room and aw, she lives

490
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:36,560
Speaker 1: with you?

491
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:36,840
Speaker 2: Yeah?

492
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wish I had forgot to mention as well.

493
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:40,520
Speaker 2: She still doesn't know.

494
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,600
Speaker 1: It's all good. So then what was the conversation like

495
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,160
Speaker 1: with Josh because when I look at you guys, now,

496
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,920
Speaker 1: you guys have a really amazing setup in terms of

497
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:53,520
Speaker 1: equal share parenting. Was that always the case? Did you

498
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:56,600
Speaker 1: guys go into parenthood being like this is how the dynamic.

499
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:56,840
Speaker 2: Is going to work?

500
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, So we definitely had a conversation about it, probably

501
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:02,560
Speaker 5: a lot of conversations about it. But we both were

502
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:08,840
Speaker 5: in another business that we exited soon after Harvey's birth,

503
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:10,960
Speaker 5: but that we had planned to exit as well. So

504
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:13,560
Speaker 5: we knew that Josh was going to have a lot

505
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 5: more time up his sleeve because outside of that he

506
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,919
Speaker 5: kind of just did content creation at that point. Prior

507
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,640
Speaker 5: to that, he was a project manager for his stad

508
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:23,440
Speaker 5: shop fitting company, and he left that because he just

509
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,359
Speaker 5: had He's so creative and just felt like it wasn't

510
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 5: suiting him.

511
00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:30,000
Speaker 4: So that business was great, but we were ready to leave.

512
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:34,400
Speaker 5: And then Kick was just kind of on the upwards

513
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,719
Speaker 5: and I had no interest in stepping back, Like I

514
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,879
Speaker 5: definitely wanted to take my time with Harvey and to

515
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,560
Speaker 5: just see how that felt. Because I was a bit

516
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,359
Speaker 5: of a guinea pig lawa on my business partner. I

517
00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:45,919
Speaker 5: hadn't had a kid, We didn't really know what that.

518
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:52,199
Speaker 4: Was going to happen, and so she I mean, it

519
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:52,679
Speaker 4: was brilliant.

520
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:54,480
Speaker 5: I think being able to work with your best friend

521
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:57,640
Speaker 5: and for her to allow me to have that time

522
00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:59,560
Speaker 5: and for us to be patient with that was really great.

523
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,320
Speaker 5: And justin of communicated over the years and if I

524
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 5: needed to come back for more time or yeah, whenever

525
00:23:05,359 --> 00:23:08,160
Speaker 5: I needed something really easy to talk to about.

526
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 3: How long did you have off with Harvey before you

527
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 3: and Josh had that conversation where it's like, Okay, well

528
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:15,840
Speaker 3: I need to get back to it because it's your

529
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,359
Speaker 3: your you know, Harvey's your baby, but also kicks you

530
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:19,280
Speaker 3: baby as well.

531
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 2: How long?

532
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,159
Speaker 5: It was always the plan, so like we knew I

533
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:23,800
Speaker 5: was going to be going back, but it was more

534
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 5: so I kept saying to him, like, if you you know,

535
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:29,840
Speaker 5: start to be a stay at home dad and it

536
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,720
Speaker 5: just doesn't fulfill you or it doesn't like feel good.

537
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,159
Speaker 5: You have to just talk to me, because we have

538
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:36,120
Speaker 5: other options, like we can do at the different things

539
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:37,600
Speaker 5: and you can get back into something else.

540
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:39,480
Speaker 4: Like I really encourage that in him.

541
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:42,359
Speaker 5: But it was something he really wanted to do and

542
00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:45,159
Speaker 5: he really enjoyed it, and he's had there's been times

543
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,800
Speaker 5: where it's been really challenging for him. And also because

544
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,119
Speaker 5: a lot of his friends they've only just kind of

545
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,640
Speaker 5: started having kids now, so a lot of his friends

546
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:56,600
Speaker 5: were kind of still in that lifestyle of not having kids.

547
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,440
Speaker 2: Which makes it really hard.

548
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:02,240
Speaker 3: It's really really nice, wouldn't understand as well, And like

549
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 3: I still have friends that don't have kids now, and

550
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 3: it's like they're like, hey, come serve And I was like,

551
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:07,399
Speaker 3: I've got.

552
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:11,440
Speaker 2: To watch Macie. Just put the and they're like, can't

553
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 2: you watch yourself?

554
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:12,320
Speaker 4: Yeah?

555
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 2: Brochus like too.

556
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:14,879
Speaker 5: And I think it was also even just some of

557
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,880
Speaker 5: the comments, like if he'd had a really hard day

558
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:20,200
Speaker 5: with Harvey, he might say that he was tired or something,

559
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 5: and his friend who hadn't had a kid yet might

560
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:23,880
Speaker 5: be like, oh, mate, like.

561
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:26,399
Speaker 4: You got it easy or whatever. Yeah, Okay, you just

562
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:26,960
Speaker 4: don't get it.

563
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,080
Speaker 5: But The other thing is is like which I think

564
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,000
Speaker 5: there needs to be more of, like the communities of dads,

565
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,879
Speaker 5: because I know that it is happening more where there

566
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,360
Speaker 5: is a lot more balance with the dynamic at home

567
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:39,440
Speaker 5: and who's staying at home. But if I was staying

568
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,640
Speaker 5: at home, like I connected with other mums and there

569
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:42,280
Speaker 5: was like mum.

570
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,240
Speaker 4: Communities very easily for me to.

571
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 5: Make and whether it was like through the council or

572
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:50,159
Speaker 5: just for people, I knew there was other moms I

573
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:51,880
Speaker 5: knew that weren't working in the day that.

574
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,240
Speaker 4: I could go for coffee or catch up with the

575
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:53,679
Speaker 4: park with.

576
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:58,719
Speaker 5: For Josh, that didn't exist existing, so it was pretty isolating.

577
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 2: I think for him was his network then of support.

578
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:05,119
Speaker 5: Honestly, some of my friends, like my girlfriends and me,

579
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:08,639
Speaker 5: I mean, like his friends were great. But yeah, as

580
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,640
Speaker 5: I said, they've only kind of just started having kids.

581
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, they wouldn't have understood a complexity at all.

582
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:14,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure.

583
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:15,879
Speaker 3: I mean I was really lucky we had a really

584
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:18,760
Speaker 3: good mother's group which the dads were all like real

585
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 3: supportive and we're still with them now.

586
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 2: So I can imagine like him, like.

587
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:25,359
Speaker 3: I know, when I have one day with the kids,

588
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,200
Speaker 3: like which I have like with Macy twice a week.

589
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:29,280
Speaker 2: It's just our day.

590
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:33,040
Speaker 3: It's like you're looking for someone kids, yeah, to be

591
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:33,680
Speaker 3: like let's.

592
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:35,679
Speaker 1: Hang out, because you know, just being in the presence

593
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,080
Speaker 1: of another parent, it makes such a difference.

594
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:40,320
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, because you could be like they're sort of

595
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,399
Speaker 2: the kids are sort of entertaining themselves. You can be like,

596
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 2: you know, like someone watching. But yeah, it's like so true.

597
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:50,320
Speaker 4: He actually recently, probably six months ago, met a dad

598
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 4: at the part.

599
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:54,280
Speaker 2: And he took his jet ski down.

600
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:02,480
Speaker 4: And I'm so happy that James his name.

601
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:04,480
Speaker 2: Is shouted out to James. James.

602
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:09,960
Speaker 5: Ja gave Josh's number because his kid Mac just got

603
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:11,640
Speaker 5: along with Harvey so well, and he was like, we've

604
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 5: just moved to the area. He doesn't really have any

605
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,199
Speaker 5: other friends, and I've never seen him get along so

606
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:17,880
Speaker 5: quickly with another kid. So that's really nice because now

607
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,359
Speaker 5: we know that Harvey's got a friend near us, and

608
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:22,159
Speaker 5: then we really get along with his parents, which is

609
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 5: great because there is also some parents that like Harvey's

610
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:28,720
Speaker 5: really friends with, maybe someone at daycare or like through

611
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,800
Speaker 5: something else, and I just don't jeel well with the parents.

612
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:35,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's always awkward asking.

613
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, Look, I avoid new friends good.

614
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 5: Enough time with my actual close friends that I know,

615
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 5: making new ones that don't necessarily We.

616
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,480
Speaker 3: Told that story about remember April that someone moved into

617
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 3: our old complex and this guy approached my wife in

618
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 3: the park in the complex because the kids were getting

619
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,920
Speaker 3: on and was like asking for my wife's number and stuff.

620
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:58,200
Speaker 2: And then she was like she got home, she was like,

621
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 2: what do we do? I was like, ignore him. So

622
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 2: we ignored him.

623
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 1: It's hard making friends as an adult, it is. It's hard.

624
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 1: It's like dating all over again. You're going to make

625
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 1: sure the kids get along, that you get along.

626
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,040
Speaker 2: If you got jet skis bro.

627
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 3: Stay at home dad? Did you take to it like

628
00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:19,440
Speaker 3: duck toward I know you said he had some troubles.

629
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,200
Speaker 3: But those who we spoke about who don't have kids

630
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 3: don't understand how it's a full day's work. You might

631
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 3: think that's easy, it's just a kid, But it's like

632
00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:32,399
Speaker 3: having like I said, it's like having a drunk person

633
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:37,200
Speaker 3: all the time. They're incoherent, they're moody, they can barely walk,

634
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:38,600
Speaker 3: they never want to eat.

635
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:40,160
Speaker 2: I can imagine.

636
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:43,040
Speaker 1: So do you remember do you remember the parts early

637
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:45,919
Speaker 1: on that were the hardest when it came to parenting.

638
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:51,720
Speaker 5: Early on, I think sleep deprivation sucked, like that turned

639
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:54,440
Speaker 5: me into the worst person, the worst version of myself.

640
00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:55,720
Speaker 1: What period was the hardest?

641
00:27:55,760 --> 00:28:02,160
Speaker 5: Do you think I reckon between like three months and

642
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:05,920
Speaker 5: like five months where they're not just like newborns anymore.

643
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 5: They can like sleep in the daylight, They're a lot

644
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 5: more aware, aware of everything, and harder to get down

645
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,920
Speaker 5: and kind of waking up through the night still, And

646
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:16,560
Speaker 5: I think the adrenaline and magic of the newborn days

647
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 5: is kind of.

648
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,880
Speaker 4: What by that point. So I remember that phase being

649
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:20,440
Speaker 4: really hard.

650
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,280
Speaker 5: But the best thing is is because Josh wasn't working

651
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 5: in that period really hard nights, because I was feeding

652
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,240
Speaker 5: a lot, like really hard nights, he could tap in

653
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:32,920
Speaker 5: if he ever needed settling without a feed, Josh could

654
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:35,200
Speaker 5: tap in. And I know for people who like work

655
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:38,480
Speaker 5: a full time job, being the person getting up with

656
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,480
Speaker 5: your partner, that's not always going to work out, because

657
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,240
Speaker 5: at least one of your needs to refresh the next day.

658
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 1: When I hear parents talk about the fact that, well,

659
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 1: if I'm up ub up as well, I'm like, no.

660
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 2: Bad plain.

661
00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:52,120
Speaker 3: And I did that early on with my first but

662
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 3: then learned for my second yeah, where I slept in

663
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:56,040
Speaker 3: the lounger in for six months.

664
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 2: It was the.

665
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 5: Best see And I think you just got to find

666
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 5: what works for you, because I had friends who did that,

667
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 5: who literally slept in separate rooms with their part from

668
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,520
Speaker 5: it was the first year, just because then at least

669
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 5: in the morning for the really early morning wake, you know,

670
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:11,600
Speaker 5: the partner who had a really good sleep was kind

671
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:13,560
Speaker 5: of up and could take them and they could get

672
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 5: a couple more hours or something.

673
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:16,720
Speaker 4: You do. You have to find what works.

674
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 5: But I think on some of the really tough nights,

675
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 5: it was nice to know that he was there and

676
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 5: then even throughout the next day, Like if I was

677
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 5: absolutely from the night before, he was there to support

678
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 5: me the next day, and I just yeah, that support

679
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,880
Speaker 5: was everything. So I think by the time I was

680
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,240
Speaker 5: going back to work and I did a gradual I

681
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 5: was online a lot at the start, like I started

682
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:39,240
Speaker 5: recording the pop for the podcast and stuff. I think

683
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 5: two months.

684
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 4: Wow, I just I loved that. So I was doing that.

685
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:49,560
Speaker 5: We shot for workouts and stuff probably five months postpartum,

686
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 5: and then we had events pretty early on because we

687
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 5: launched Kickbump, which is our pre and post natal offering.

688
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 4: When Harvey was like two weeks old, so I was there.

689
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 1: So there was elements of the idea, but that's the

690
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 1: reality of running a small.

691
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 5: Business and a lot of pr and stuff. That all

692
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,920
Speaker 5: happened really early. And it was probably around the five

693
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 5: or six month mark where I started going back into

694
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 5: the actual office for like a day or two and

695
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:16,160
Speaker 5: then online for another day. Started with three days, eventually

696
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:18,120
Speaker 5: worked up to four, and then eventually went back to

697
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 5: full time.

698
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 1: And what made it easier than coming out of that

699
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 1: five month phase with sleep? Was it just that you

700
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:26,720
Speaker 1: adjusted an acclimatized environment or do you guys get help.

701
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 5: In We did end up doing some sleep training, which

702
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 5: is it's really funny because I'm thinking, like, you know,

703
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 5: when it's time, if we are so fortunate to have another,

704
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,320
Speaker 5: like what I would want to do second time around?

705
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you do differently?

706
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:39,480
Speaker 4: I think like.

707
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 5: There was just some stuff that didn't like feel right

708
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:44,600
Speaker 5: to my gut with the sleep training that you just

709
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:45,080
Speaker 5: hit it.

710
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was traumatized by the first visit.

711
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:50,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, just like can you remember.

712
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 2: What it was?

713
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 4: Just letting him cry really killed me.

714
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 5: And like, you know, the person who which I won't

715
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 5: talk about, but you know, they would kind of be like,

716
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:02,400
Speaker 5: you'll the cries when they're like kind of putting it

717
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,600
Speaker 5: on versus like when they're actually hysterical. But it just

718
00:31:04,600 --> 00:31:07,320
Speaker 5: felt wrong to wait for him to get hysterical. INTER mean,

719
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 5: so I think I would do a kind of in

720
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 5: between approach, which some of my friends did do, which

721
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,920
Speaker 5: was that they would go back in not necessarily pick

722
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:17,400
Speaker 5: them back up and like fully resettled, but like I'm

723
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 5: here and then kind of walk out again, but like

724
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 5: just keep going back and reassuring. I think we'd probably

725
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,240
Speaker 5: find something like that, because that's probably the one thing

726
00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 5: that I was a bit like, I don't know if

727
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:30,240
Speaker 5: I enjoyed that. The annoying thing is is it did

728
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 5: work in a ways, and like he was a pretty

729
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 5: independent sleeper. I could put him down awake and he

730
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,760
Speaker 5: would go to sleep, and that was really good.

731
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 4: But the funny thing is is I did all.

732
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:41,480
Speaker 5: That because I read all this stuff about like if

733
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:44,080
Speaker 5: you rock them to sleep, or they two attached to

734
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 5: you at night, or you co sleep or anything like that,

735
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 5: they'll be co sleeping with you when they're todder and forever.

736
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 5: He's now a toddler, and with me, I can't put

737
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:55,560
Speaker 5: him down, like I have to be in his bed.

738
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 2: You get in with him.

739
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 4: If i'm also I'm alone, he'll enough in my bed.

740
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 1: Do you have to I always thank the grace of

741
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:06,720
Speaker 1: God that my children aren't the ones that require me

742
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 1: to be in bed with them. Do you have to

743
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:12,320
Speaker 1: like literally going to be there touching him to him

744
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 1: full asleep?

745
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 4: Yeah? Well now at the moment in the phase that

746
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 4: we're in, and I'm.

747
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:17,120
Speaker 2: So sorry in a lot lately.

748
00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:20,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've got some friends are the same that like

749
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 3: got a what I think, what's five in this till

750
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,760
Speaker 3: they going through another phase like that. And I think

751
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:29,000
Speaker 3: we definitely had a little phase like that too, but

752
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 3: not at three and I feel four hour.

753
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, but it's like it is what he hasn't always

754
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 5: been like that, And I think the frustrating part is

755
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 5: very different to me too, to Josh. So like Josh

756
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 5: can go through bedtime and he'll go down and he'll

757
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 5: say good.

758
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:46,040
Speaker 4: Night, data love.

759
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:48,880
Speaker 5: You can walk out and I watched the monitor and

760
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 5: I'm like you because you know, and then he'll also

761
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 5: sleep through whereas nights that I've put him down. Yeah,

762
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 5: he pushed bedtime so much like you'll find everything else

763
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:05,560
Speaker 5: to do to stay awake, which I think also it

764
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 5: plays with my heartstrings because he's got Josh a lot

765
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:11,080
Speaker 5: more than he has me, and so I think it

766
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 5: is a little bit like I've got you, I don't

767
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 5: want you to go spend more time with me, So

768
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:16,800
Speaker 5: that kills me.

769
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 4: A little bit.

770
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 5: But you know, bedtime will take a really really long

771
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 5: time eventually when I've talked him into going to bed,

772
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:24,680
Speaker 5: which at the moment it's not happening, which is killing me.

773
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 5: The other night, I was home alone and it got

774
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 5: to past eight o'clock and I ended up just putting.

775
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 4: Him in my bed because I was like, yeah, to eat,

776
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:32,240
Speaker 4: and I actually need.

777
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 5: To get.

778
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:36,080
Speaker 2: Resistance.

779
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:39,200
Speaker 3: What does your what does are you really routine with him?

780
00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:42,760
Speaker 3: Like your bedtime routine? Is it the same every time I.

781
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 5: Try to This is Josh's point to me, because he's

782
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 5: this pretty like clockwork.

783
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:51,320
Speaker 4: But I think he's also like he's worked out some

784
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:53,960
Speaker 4: tricks that if he feels.

785
00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 5: That Harvey's about to get distracted or like push away

786
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:58,600
Speaker 5: or something, He'll just like start telling me a story

787
00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 5: and like just butt in and just talk grab a

788
00:34:00,280 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 5: Harvey and like get him distructed.

789
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:08,319
Speaker 4: But for me, it's like it's pretty set like this.

790
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 5: The order is all the same, you know, the amount

791
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,920
Speaker 5: of books might be different where he wants to read

792
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:14,319
Speaker 5: his book.

793
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 4: I don't know. I try in my head, it's me

794
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:17,080
Speaker 4: picking my battles.

795
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:20,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, with like him losing it, but it's probably me

796
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 5: being a little bit.

797
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:25,760
Speaker 3: Especially if you're you've Josh's got a majority of time

798
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 3: obviously with him, and then you're coming home from from

799
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 3: your busy date. You want, like you said, you want

800
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:32,400
Speaker 3: to extend that time with them. You might be like,

801
00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 3: why don't we do three books? Yeah, it's but this

802
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 3: isn't for you, this is me.

803
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:40,359
Speaker 5: And then it gets to like, know, he gets into

804
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 5: bed and it's I want to take him one's truck bed, No,

805
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:43,240
Speaker 5: not taking him on instructed.

806
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:44,960
Speaker 4: And then I'm starting to be like, oh my god, I.

807
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:46,480
Speaker 2: Need to eat.

808
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:51,080
Speaker 5: I'm really stimulated right now. So yeah, it's really tough

809
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:53,000
Speaker 5: at the moment bedtimes. And I think it's just funny

810
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:55,640
Speaker 5: because I reflect back on like all this independent sleep

811
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 5: stuff that we did when he was so young, and

812
00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:58,959
Speaker 5: I'm like, kids are just going to do.

813
00:34:58,880 --> 00:34:59,439
Speaker 4: What they wanted.

814
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:02,719
Speaker 5: Yeah, some of them are going to need more attachment

815
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:05,040
Speaker 5: at than others, and that's it is what it is.

816
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 4: They're small for only a short period of their lives.

817
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,920
Speaker 3: And over that time where you're back at work full time,

818
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:14,080
Speaker 3: let's call it. What about the relationship between you and Josh.

819
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,880
Speaker 3: How how did that differ? Was there any significant impacts

820
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:18,360
Speaker 3: that you thought?

821
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,720
Speaker 5: I think for us, it was just that our lives

822
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:25,160
Speaker 5: were wildly different. I mean, COVID was one shift in

823
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:28,360
Speaker 5: our lifestyle, but then having a kid and the business

824
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 5: kind of going up a level and needing me a

825
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:33,560
Speaker 5: lot more full time meant that, Yeah, a lot of

826
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 5: this kind of like spontaneous exciting opportunities and stuff that

827
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 5: we used to kind of go with weren't really happening,

828
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:42,839
Speaker 5: and so that was kind of hard. And I think

829
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:48,120
Speaker 5: for him he was also his whole life had fully, fully,

830
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,759
Speaker 5: fully changed into full time dad mode and not really

831
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,720
Speaker 5: necessarily getting to be creative or working with different people.

832
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:56,879
Speaker 4: His battery is charged off of other people. So like

833
00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 4: if we used to.

834
00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:00,080
Speaker 5: Run events or whatever, him being there and like hosting

835
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 5: it and like getting people there, that's just what fied

836
00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:04,479
Speaker 5: him up doing.

837
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:06,640
Speaker 4: None of that really shifted him.

838
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 5: But we've always kind of been like he just wants

839
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,839
Speaker 5: more time with me, and like it's he's just the best,

840
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,360
Speaker 5: but he just wants to spend more time with me

841
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 5: and missed me and misses me. And for me, it's

842
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,719
Speaker 5: like I work with people all day and I get

843
00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 5: really exhausted at work and then I'll come home and

844
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:22,440
Speaker 5: if I have the time with Harvey, I pour everything

845
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,280
Speaker 5: into that and then I'm drained.

846
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:28,319
Speaker 3: It's hard to fill everyone's cup as well, including your own.

847
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:29,200
Speaker 4: Including your own.

848
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:34,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I hate to pry into your personal life,

849
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 1: but I have wanted to ask you a question about

850
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 1: one aspect of your personal life. And it's something that

851
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,960
Speaker 1: Laura and I try to take inspiration from. We didn't

852
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 1: do it that well. You're thirty days of intimacy.

853
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh yeah, actually yeah a good shout.

854
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:51,400
Speaker 1: How did that come about and how has it changed

855
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:53,719
Speaker 1: you after you did the experiment?

856
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:58,719
Speaker 5: Yeah, so, so the experiment was thirty days of intimacy

857
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 5: and for me, like our libidos are different, Josh, this

858
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:04,799
Speaker 5: is a lot higher than mine, and I think it

859
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:06,440
Speaker 5: was for us it was just making sure that we

860
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 5: made time for each other and like connected like that,

861
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:12,240
Speaker 5: because it just wasn't happening as much, and it didn't

862
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:14,319
Speaker 5: mean like sex all the way. It was just like

863
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:16,680
Speaker 5: even just being affectionate with one another. We're kind of

864
00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 5: just roommates on most days.

865
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 4: So it was really good for that. There was it

866
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 4: was really hard, like for me as well.

867
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 1: I was last two days a lot two days, what ages.

868
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:34,959
Speaker 5: It was hard, But I think that actually the best

869
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:37,080
Speaker 5: part about it was when you know you're going to

870
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:41,879
Speaker 5: have sex with someone on the best part about it,

871
00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 5: but it's just the way you treat each other just

872
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:44,760
Speaker 5: in the day in general.

873
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:45,479
Speaker 2: That's true.

874
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:47,279
Speaker 5: If you know you're going to have sex with them,

875
00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 5: you don't want to be picking a fight over who

876
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 5: didn't do.

877
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,040
Speaker 2: This swashure or what happens. Depends what you're into.

878
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:55,879
Speaker 5: Well we didn't because I you know, I'm not into

879
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:58,960
Speaker 5: doing it if I'm annoyed of his stuff. And so

880
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:01,440
Speaker 5: it was kind of good because yeah, you were a

881
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 5: little bit more affection even outside of the action it's itself,

882
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:06,360
Speaker 5: and that was a really nice habit to build.

883
00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 4: So after the thirty days, did we even continue every day?

884
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:11,799
Speaker 5: Absolutely not like it dropped back down to maybe like

885
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,719
Speaker 5: once or twice a week pretty quickly, but it just

886
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 5: I don't know.

887
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:17,000
Speaker 4: It just felt really good to do and it was

888
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:17,879
Speaker 4: a nice remid did.

889
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 3: You feel like on those like because obviously let's just

890
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 3: put sex up here for a moment, but did you

891
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:23,799
Speaker 3: feel after those thirty days that you connected better on

892
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:24,800
Speaker 3: all of these other levels?

893
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 4: Yeah?

894
00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:28,640
Speaker 5: I think so, and just like having more time like

895
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:31,320
Speaker 5: that together. It didn't have to be sex, but just intimately.

896
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally yeah. Yeah. Did you see it even? Did

897
00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 2: you see it as a chore?

898
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:37,959
Speaker 1: Were You're like, oh, fuck, it's like I did, Yeah,

899
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:41,440
Speaker 1: because for us it was like for one of a

900
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 1: better analogy, It's like that load of washing that you

901
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:45,279
Speaker 1: know you have to put on at the end of

902
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 1: the day.

903
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:47,440
Speaker 2: You're like, oh fuck, I've got to like I've.

904
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,399
Speaker 3: Got to do the washing, or like when you put

905
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:50,839
Speaker 3: it on too late and you realize, fuck, I better

906
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 3: hang it hour.

907
00:38:51,280 --> 00:39:00,360
Speaker 6: It's king to stink. Take that, do you know what

908
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:02,280
Speaker 6: I mean?

909
00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:05,320
Speaker 4: But do you feel like that in the beginning?

910
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:07,600
Speaker 5: But I think like even just in general, not within

911
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:10,480
Speaker 5: that challenge, there's days where I can't be bothered and.

912
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 4: Then we do it and I'm like why do we

913
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:12,520
Speaker 4: do them?

914
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 2: All?

915
00:39:16,239 --> 00:39:19,440
Speaker 5: So you definitely like you've worked that out pretty quickly

916
00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 5: in the challenge is like it felt like that at

917
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,399
Speaker 5: the start, but then as soon as you got into

918
00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:26,840
Speaker 5: the habit of it, you knew how good it felt afterwards.

919
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:31,240
Speaker 1: But it's so easier and to get into that routine

920
00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:33,239
Speaker 1: of just not being intimate, like well, Laura and I

921
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:36,279
Speaker 1: will have just like a split second pet good night,

922
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:38,120
Speaker 1: and then we've rolled to separate end of the bed

923
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 1: and then that's it. And then you did that the

924
00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:41,839
Speaker 1: first night, second night, and you're like, oh shit, it's

925
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:42,880
Speaker 1: been a month, and.

926
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 2: We do get like we do.

927
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,439
Speaker 3: It's actually we're probably really insightful for our listeners because

928
00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 3: we do get listeners saying, hey, what do you do

929
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 3: in that roommate phase because everyone goes through it, absolutely

930
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:55,360
Speaker 3: everyone with kids go through it because you are so exhausted,

931
00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 3: And we talked about filling carps because you could go

932
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 3: to like families that both parents work, like April and

933
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:05,480
Speaker 3: I both kids go to daycare. You're all tired.

934
00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:10,040
Speaker 2: When you get home. And it's like, like you said, it's.

935
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:12,879
Speaker 3: The non critical part, really yeah, and like it it's

936
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:13,880
Speaker 3: so easy to get stuck in it.

937
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:17,920
Speaker 2: So I mean thirty days of you're building a habit, right, Yeah, and.

938
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 5: It's a look that's not for everyone. But I think

939
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,840
Speaker 5: even I think just being okay with scheduling it in

940
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:25,960
Speaker 5: in a way, like not putting it in the calendar,

941
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:27,640
Speaker 5: but just knowing, like my.

942
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 2: Wife could put it in the calendar.

943
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:28,960
Speaker 4: I don't know.

944
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:30,919
Speaker 5: When he got to the eighth when he was having

945
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:34,439
Speaker 5: a napper day, it was like, Okay, Saturday's midday, that's

946
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:37,880
Speaker 5: our time because we the best day for it.

947
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:40,319
Speaker 4: That's on because it was the weekend, so I wasn't

948
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,359
Speaker 4: going to be stressed from work or like tired from work,

949
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:43,880
Speaker 4: and it could be in the.

950
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 5: Day, which is great. We're not exhausted, and he was

951
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:47,920
Speaker 5: going to be a sleep so I haven't.

952
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 2: Had a big dinner either. I don't know.

953
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:54,839
Speaker 4: I think that that's okay, Like, yes, our sex lives

954
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:57,239
Speaker 4: looked different when we wouldn't have to think about things

955
00:40:57,280 --> 00:40:58,640
Speaker 4: like that. Yeah, that's okay.

956
00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 3: That's still I think scheduling it in as parents is

957
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:02,240
Speaker 3: pretty legit.

958
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, you have to, like we go to the other day,

959
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 1: we're talking about it on an episode, and like it's

960
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:08,959
Speaker 1: nice for it to be spontaneous, but at the same time,

961
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:13,160
Speaker 1: the reality is like, yeah, it's like Friday, Saturday, night.

962
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:16,360
Speaker 2: It's a kind of like Sunday.

963
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:18,680
Speaker 1: Everyone's too worried about work on Monday.

964
00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a Sunday research. We can't do it today exactly.

965
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 1: I do have to say congratulations for what you and

966
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:30,400
Speaker 1: Laura have achieved with Kick. It's unbelievable, unbelievable and I

967
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,719
Speaker 1: can't even begin to imagine how busy you must be.

968
00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:35,880
Speaker 1: Does that play a big role in deciding whether or

969
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:38,600
Speaker 1: not you'll have a second Yeah, I.

970
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:42,000
Speaker 5: So recently I've been able to have a bit more

971
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,680
Speaker 5: flexibility in my role. There was some stuff that I

972
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:48,000
Speaker 5: was kind of holding my role that wasn't necessarily my

973
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:50,239
Speaker 5: skill sets or not that they couldn't do them, but

974
00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:52,480
Speaker 5: it just didn't need to be me. And there was

975
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:54,720
Speaker 5: some it meant that I couldn't create as much content

976
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 5: as I wanted for the brand, or like network as

977
00:41:57,200 --> 00:41:59,320
Speaker 5: much as I wanted for the brand, all this stuff

978
00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:01,759
Speaker 5: where I really do a lot of value and so

979
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 5: we worked through that and the team are in a

980
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:06,120
Speaker 5: fantastic place at the moment.

981
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:09,080
Speaker 4: They're working so well together, which is awesome.

982
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:10,880
Speaker 5: It's meaning that I do have a little bit more

983
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:12,719
Speaker 5: flexibility now, so I am spending a little bit more

984
00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 5: time with Harvey and at.

985
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:16,320
Speaker 4: Home and yeah, we definitely want a second.

986
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:19,440
Speaker 5: And I think, wow, yeah, it's definitely I've worked out

987
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:21,799
Speaker 5: now how now that I've done it once and I

988
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 5: can see it with one, I know the step to

989
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:26,320
Speaker 5: have two is very different. But I think by the

990
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:30,040
Speaker 5: time that would happen happy before anyway at least, so

991
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 5: I feel like it's just it's been a nice right.

992
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 3: Three of us, and you're fine with the set with

993
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:36,840
Speaker 3: your second us we've had two.

994
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:39,200
Speaker 2: It's kind of like job.

995
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:41,719
Speaker 3: Experience, right, You've had the job experience and then you

996
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,120
Speaker 3: like get a new job, but you've done that's exactly

997
00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:46,439
Speaker 3: the same job just about and you're like, I found

998
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:48,080
Speaker 3: that you're way more relaxed.

999
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:48,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure.

1000
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:51,759
Speaker 3: And you know what the you know, when you have

1001
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:53,879
Speaker 3: your first kid and they're so little now you look

1002
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 3: out for the signs, it's like, what the fuck? What

1003
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:59,839
Speaker 3: the fuck is that? And then now with the second kid,

1004
00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:02,279
Speaker 3: you like, there it is. You just know.

1005
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 4: Well, I think that's the thing is that the hardest

1006
00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:08,280
Speaker 4: parts for me weren't in like losing myself or losing

1007
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:10,160
Speaker 4: my life that I had before or whatever.

1008
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:12,759
Speaker 5: It was more just being anxious that I was doing

1009
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:14,719
Speaker 5: the right thing, or that I was reading the right

1010
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 5: way or like so, I think because I will feel

1011
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:20,719
Speaker 5: a little bit more comfortable going into it second time around,

1012
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:24,960
Speaker 5: I'm hoping it will feel yeah, damn good because I

1013
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:27,440
Speaker 5: love being a moment. So it's my favorite hat that

1014
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:29,440
Speaker 5: I wear, hands down.

1015
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:36,160
Speaker 3: So yeah, that's awesome. And Harvey he's three now. Yes,

1016
00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:40,040
Speaker 3: I believe he is doing some time at day care. Yeah,

1017
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:44,399
Speaker 3: how was that transition? Probably mainly for yourself, of course,

1018
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:47,319
Speaker 3: but for Josh spending every day with him and then

1019
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:51,200
Speaker 3: having to go, well, he go, I want you to.

1020
00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:54,520
Speaker 2: Interact with kids your age as well. How was that transition?

1021
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:58,240
Speaker 5: Josh did the first drop off, which was actually okay

1022
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:02,319
Speaker 5: because he was excited, but then the next drop off

1023
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:05,439
Speaker 5: was like hell and yeah because he knew.

1024
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:08,200
Speaker 4: So Josh found that really really hard. Like I remember

1025
00:44:08,239 --> 00:44:11,239
Speaker 4: him like sobbing in the car and he just called

1026
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:11,560
Speaker 4: me and.

1027
00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:12,799
Speaker 2: I was like, Wow, this is really hard.

1028
00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:14,279
Speaker 5: And I found it hard to because I wanted to

1029
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:15,839
Speaker 5: be there for it, but I just couldn't with work.

1030
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:19,359
Speaker 5: So I actually didn't do drop off for probably four

1031
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:23,080
Speaker 5: or five months of him being there, and then I

1032
00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:24,400
Speaker 5: got to do it, So I was lucky he had

1033
00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:26,520
Speaker 5: a bit of practice, but it was very different.

1034
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:29,319
Speaker 3: Did you do it strategically so that it was like

1035
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 3: it was it was like same.

1036
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 2: With your routine. It's Josh dropping every time.

1037
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:35,759
Speaker 5: May yes, but also with the time that I leave

1038
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:37,719
Speaker 5: for work, it's just yeah, okay, it would have been

1039
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:41,800
Speaker 5: just I mean, I could have definitely drop him off earlier,

1040
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:44,239
Speaker 5: but it just worked for us that way, and I

1041
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:47,120
Speaker 5: never finished in time to pick him up, and so

1042
00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 5: when I was able to drop him off, it was

1043
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,839
Speaker 5: really hard because then I experienced that whole drop off

1044
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:53,799
Speaker 5: and yeah, he's only just got to a period now

1045
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 5: with me.

1046
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:56,440
Speaker 4: I've dropped him off more often now.

1047
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 5: On Thursdays is my day where I drop him off,

1048
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:01,560
Speaker 5: and he's used to it now, so it's finally good.

1049
00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:03,520
Speaker 4: But for a long time, oh yeah.

1050
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:06,120
Speaker 3: Fuck, I hate that, and we all go we all

1051
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:09,080
Speaker 3: go through those days. Like we've spoken about a day

1052
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:10,680
Speaker 3: where I got back in the car to look back

1053
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:11,879
Speaker 3: and Oscar was looking through the.

1054
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:14,799
Speaker 2: Fence and I was like, I remember I went back

1055
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:15,319
Speaker 2: and got him.

1056
00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:19,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I spent the day, Are you idiot?

1057
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:20,400
Speaker 2: He tricks me?

1058
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:20,840
Speaker 4: Funny.

1059
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 5: We went to Fiji recently, which was amazing, and everyone

1060
00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:27,959
Speaker 5: was talking about how the daycarees, that the hotels are amazing, and.

1061
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:29,520
Speaker 4: Like it's just so good for kids.

1062
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,560
Speaker 5: But we dropped him off while I dropped him off,

1063
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:35,799
Speaker 5: and that was the worst drop off ever, Like he

1064
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:39,200
Speaker 5: was hysterical And the only reason I walked away was

1065
00:45:39,239 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 5: because there was another kid there that he met the

1066
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:43,960
Speaker 5: first night. He was a bit older, and he was

1067
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:46,520
Speaker 5: such a sweet kid. He obviously was like an older

1068
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:49,319
Speaker 5: brother or something or wanted to be, and he took

1069
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:52,040
Speaker 5: Harvey under his wing. And I was, I reckon the

1070
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:55,160
Speaker 5: second I leave, he's going to be okay. But I

1071
00:45:55,239 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 5: was actually had a spa appointment, which Josh was also

1072
00:45:57,520 --> 00:45:59,319
Speaker 5: meant to join me out, but he wasn't feeling well.

1073
00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 5: We both gotstra on that trip, we all three of

1074
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:04,560
Speaker 5: us actually, and I called him and I was like,

1075
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:06,440
Speaker 5: I just don't feel right and he was like I'm

1076
00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:07,600
Speaker 5: already putting my clothes.

1077
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 4: On, Like I don't feel right either. Wow, And so

1078
00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:11,360
Speaker 4: I got into the spar appment.

1079
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:14,080
Speaker 5: Josh got there probably ten minutes after I'd dropped him off,

1080
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:14,520
Speaker 5: and he was.

1081
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:15,560
Speaker 4: Still way long.

1082
00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:19,840
Speaker 5: Breaks my heart, but yeah, So then what made it

1083
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:23,640
Speaker 5: hard is we moved hotels and tried the daycare thing again,

1084
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:25,600
Speaker 5: and he was just like, no, not happening.

1085
00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:28,120
Speaker 4: And you know what, I get it.

1086
00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:32,240
Speaker 5: It's a hard age I think three because he's highly

1087
00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:33,600
Speaker 5: aware that he has no idea.

1088
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:34,160
Speaker 4: Who these people are.

1089
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,480
Speaker 5: And you've never been in this environment before, so why

1090
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:37,400
Speaker 5: am I here alone?

1091
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 4: Whereas like the older kids were like yeah, fun, like.

1092
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:41,480
Speaker 2: There's a playground, it's good to be away from you.

1093
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:42,480
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1094
00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:45,799
Speaker 4: Babies were just like, oh, someone passed me around.

1095
00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:46,799
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1096
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:49,080
Speaker 4: So yeah, it was it was tough normal daycare. Now

1097
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:49,799
Speaker 4: we're in a good place.

1098
00:46:50,239 --> 00:46:52,879
Speaker 2: That's good. It is tough for any parent, Like we

1099
00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:54,359
Speaker 2: joke about it all the time.

1100
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:57,440
Speaker 3: How it's it's such a swift drop off now, but

1101
00:46:57,840 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 3: you have those days still.

1102
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:00,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, where they said that don't want to go?

1103
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, breaks your heart sometimes.

1104
00:47:03,320 --> 00:47:05,480
Speaker 1: I was going to ask with the kickapp, I mean

1105
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 1: myself and Ash we've not used it before. Needs a

1106
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:13,440
Speaker 1: transformation your words, not mine. If anyone did want to

1107
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:15,640
Speaker 1: try out the kick app, how can they do that?

1108
00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 2: Well?

1109
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:18,960
Speaker 4: So, actually we have a free month code for your listeners.

1110
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:22,920
Speaker 2: Wow, next time you see me, I'm going to be

1111
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,399
Speaker 2: jack guys us.

1112
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:28,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's plenty and even in our events, a lot

1113
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,319
Speaker 5: of people bring their partners and stuff like that, and

1114
00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 5: they get into it, especially with home workouts. I feel like, look,

1115
00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:36,480
Speaker 5: it's not targeted towards men, but like it's not like.

1116
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:37,960
Speaker 4: Specialized for women.

1117
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:40,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, you know you could definitely get a lot out

1118
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:41,200
Speaker 5: of the workouts.

1119
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:47,279
Speaker 2: Why at me? All right? Sell it to me?

1120
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:51,400
Speaker 5: I think the code's dads and it'll get anyone listening

1121
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 5: a whole month.

1122
00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:53,800
Speaker 4: Free to check it out.

1123
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:55,799
Speaker 5: But you just have to go to our website, which

1124
00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:57,759
Speaker 5: can go in the show notes and you just pop

1125
00:47:57,760 --> 00:47:59,360
Speaker 5: in that code and sign up to the monthly and

1126
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 5: you'll get that month. But there's everything from programs to

1127
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:06,760
Speaker 5: on demand classes and recipes and meditations, so hopefully you'll.

1128
00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:09,440
Speaker 1: Find something there you like, Wow, the new improved at Wicks.

1129
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:10,759
Speaker 2: I can't wait.

1130
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:13,839
Speaker 3: You're not going to be able to recognize me no time.

1131
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:16,720
Speaker 3: I probably do one day and I'll.

1132
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:16,880
Speaker 2: Be like, O.

1133
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:21,640
Speaker 1: Steph. One last question before you go, because I know

1134
00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:22,840
Speaker 1: you have to get to the airport. You have a

1135
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 1: flight to catch, So just quickly, when Harvey is grown

1136
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:29,560
Speaker 1: up and he's no longer living with you, is there

1137
00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:31,359
Speaker 1: anything that you would want him to remember about the

1138
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:33,839
Speaker 1: house that he grew up in, Just that.

1139
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:38,400
Speaker 4: It was filled with love and fun.

1140
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 5: I think is my I think I'm really fortunate that

1141
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:46,080
Speaker 5: I have a lot of fond memories from my childhood

1142
00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:48,120
Speaker 5: and I'm really close with my parents now, I'm really

1143
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,400
Speaker 5: close with my brother, and I love being able to reflect,

1144
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:53,320
Speaker 5: like anytime people are talking about anything nostalgic, like anything

1145
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:58,239
Speaker 5: child like, let me chat about me. So I just

1146
00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:00,919
Speaker 5: I hope that yeah, he lights up what he thinks

1147
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:04,080
Speaker 5: of memories at home with the both of us, and

1148
00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:06,040
Speaker 5: that we can keep the bond that we have right

1149
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:07,960
Speaker 5: now because I'm utterly obsessed with him.

1150
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:09,879
Speaker 2: I love it. That's very nice.

1151
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:11,080
Speaker 1: Keep doing such a great job.

1152
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for joining us too, and good.

1153
00:49:14,920 --> 00:49:17,759
Speaker 1: Luck for when it is time for number two.

1154
00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:23,880
Speaker 3: Yes, good luck with the logistics of that. Let me

1155
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 3: sell it to you, so thanks, thanks so much for listening.

1156
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:33,440
Speaker 2: Ash.

1157
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:34,840
Speaker 1: We always joking about getting.

1158
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:37,279
Speaker 2: Jet skis, but I still stand by that.

1159
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:39,880
Speaker 1: I think we need to definitely get those jet skis.

1160
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 2: Let's just get one and I can hold onto your tired.

1161
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:44,920
Speaker 1: Body and that note, we've got to get out of here.

1162
00:49:44,920 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 1: If you enjoyed this episode, any episode from Two Doting Dads,

1163
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 1: please subscribe, leave a review.

1164
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 2: A number of Stars. We greatly appreciate it.

1165
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:55,839
Speaker 3: Well. Join us on socials either Instagram or the Facebook.

1166
00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:57,960
Speaker 2: We have a group on there. It's Two Doting Dads.

1167
00:49:58,080 --> 00:49:59,160
Speaker 2: Join the conversation.

1168
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:00,320
Speaker 1: We'll see you next time.

1169
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:02,720
Speaker 2: Bye bye.

1170
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:09,040
Speaker 1: Two Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country

1171
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:12,759
Speaker 1: throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.

1172
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:15,520
Speaker 3: We pay our respects to their elders past and present

1173
00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:18,680
Speaker 3: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander

1174
00:50:18,719 --> 00:50:19,400
Speaker 3: peoples today.

1175
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:22,359
Speaker 2: This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land