Speaker 1: Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands
Speaker 1: were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders
Speaker 1: past and present.
Speaker 2: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
Speaker 2: recorded on Drug Wallamuta Land. Hi guys, and welcome back
Speaker 2: to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 1: I'm Laura.
Speaker 3: I think Laura's like a small child that's over tired.
Speaker 3: You don't the kids get overtired and they got you
Speaker 3: need a nap? Do you need a nap? Do you
Speaker 3: need a lead out?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I need a nap. No, I'm excited.
Speaker 2: What about Well, we were gonna have Ben on this episode,
Speaker 2: but we decided to put him on a bit of ice,
Speaker 2: put him on you know, like we thought, let's not
Speaker 2: give you too much too soon. So he's coming on
Speaker 2: next week, I think all the week after. But we've
Speaker 2: recorded it. We did like a little interview with him.
Speaker 3: It was cute, not like.
Speaker 2: An interview that we did on the last episode. We
Speaker 2: got to know because you asked for it. More about
Speaker 2: who is better.
Speaker 3: I don't know why.
Speaker 1: There's still part of me there things that you guys
Speaker 1: are not that interested in my life.
Speaker 3: So I guess when we had.
Speaker 2: This entire podcast is based on talking absolute smack about
Speaker 2: our lives. So it shocks me that after four and
Speaker 2: a half years, you're like, yeah, I think that you
Speaker 2: guys don't really care about the fact that I finally
Speaker 2: have fallen in love and have a healthy relationship.
Speaker 1: I guess the thing is you don't want to make
Speaker 1: it presumptuous, like I want to assume that you guys
Speaker 1: want to do that. But we said that Ben was
Speaker 1: going to come on the Ask gun Cut and we
Speaker 1: sort of introed him to you guys a couple of
Speaker 1: days ago. But the thing that I guess surprised me
Speaker 1: is we more said, like, if you've got questions to
Speaker 1: ask Guncut, the male skewed thro them in because Ben
Speaker 1: can answer them. But there were so many questions that
Speaker 1: came in genuinely saying can we get to know Ben,
Speaker 1: you know, asking questions specifically to Ben about Ben, about
Speaker 1: his upbringing, about he and I.
Speaker 3: But also we kind of just did both.
Speaker 2: So we just finished an episode with Ben where we
Speaker 2: had a bit more of a flash our interview with
Speaker 2: him and also him answering your listener questions from a
Speaker 2: male's perspective. That'll be coming out next week or the
Speaker 2: week after. But we I thought, why not Britt, just
Speaker 2: you and me sit down, have a chat. That's what
Speaker 2: we do every week, or would get back to basics?
Speaker 3: Can I just add one thing though?
Speaker 2: When you say that you think people won't be interested,
Speaker 2: is it because that this is like the healthiest version
Speaker 2: of a relationship and you only think people will be
Speaker 2: interested when shit is not going well?
Speaker 3: No, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just never like to re assume it makes an
Speaker 1: ass out of you and me. That's the same, that's
Speaker 1: what they say.
Speaker 3: I genuinely don't know why.
Speaker 1: I just didn't want to assume that people would want
Speaker 1: a whole episode of Ben, but they do. Look, I'll
Speaker 1: have him back as many times as you want. If
Speaker 1: you want him back, he can come back.
Speaker 2: Like one question that came in a lot of times
Speaker 2: was around how you guys navigate privacy, which I think
Speaker 2: is very interesting, especially for somebody who's not in the
Speaker 2: public eye in terms of like, he's not like a
Speaker 2: media personality, he's not necessarily comfortable with sharing lots about
Speaker 2: his personal life. Then you have a podcast where we
Speaker 2: talk about sex and you know, everything else. So we
Speaker 2: did get into answering all that that is coming up.
Speaker 2: But you know what, we've got other things to do first.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, So I'm actually this weekend go back home
Speaker 1: to put McCrary. It's a very big moment in my life.
Speaker 1: Ben is going to meet my family.
Speaker 2: Is he's not met anyone from your family? Still found
Speaker 2: never met Sherry, which is the crazy thing.
Speaker 3: But he's never met Sherry.
Speaker 1: No, And it's the crazy thing because now Sherry's gone
Speaker 1: overseas to Scotland and he's here and they've still never met.
Speaker 1: So he's meeting my the rest of my family, which
Speaker 1: I'm one of four.
Speaker 3: I don't even know if think guys know that. I've
Speaker 3: got two.
Speaker 1: Brothers and the sister. So there's four, my mom and dad.
Speaker 1: So the six they've got their kids. They're all bringing
Speaker 1: their kids. So it's a big family event. All Ben
Speaker 1: is requested is one thing, a barbecue. He wants a
Speaker 1: real Aussie barberue.
Speaker 3: Oh mate, they're going to get that and put McCrory.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: My brother's going to take him fishing. They're going to
Speaker 1: get the fish for it. It's going to be a
Speaker 1: whole thing. You're maybe eating nothing. I'm slightly concerned. I'm concerned.
Speaker 2: Is there any part of you that feels nervous introducing
Speaker 2: like your new west newest boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do take one home weekly, bi weekly sometimes. No,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: When you have a new partner and you've got to
Speaker 2: introduce to the family obviously, like Ben is very likable,
Speaker 2: he's lovely. Is there any part of you that's nervous
Speaker 2: about it? No, there really isn't. There really isn't.
Speaker 1: My family is so open and they're so lovely, and
Speaker 1: they're so welcoming. And they've spoken to him before on FaceTime,
Speaker 1: so we facetimed a lot. They know their little characteristics
Speaker 1: and they chat. So I'm really not that nervous. I'm
Speaker 1: actually really excited for it. I feel like it's for
Speaker 1: some reason. I feel like it's what's going to be
Speaker 1: the moment that makes it real. I know it's real,
Speaker 1: he exists, it's real.
Speaker 3: He's not Ai. No, he's not Ai.
Speaker 1: But when it gets when families collide, I feel like
Speaker 1: it's the thing.
Speaker 3: Was like, oh, this is actually a thing.
Speaker 2: Well, I think because when your family has become invested
Speaker 2: in each other, it's like there's more at stake as well.
Speaker 3: Have you ever had.
Speaker 2: An incidence where you have introduced your family to someone
Speaker 2: who you liked or were in a relationship with and
Speaker 2: it went poorly?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, yes, do I name names? If you care?
Speaker 3: Do I name names? Tim Hanley? Oh you're family? I forgod? Fuck?
Speaker 3: Oh my fucking I forgot about him. Do we even
Speaker 3: want to rehash that?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Was I think you?
Speaker 1: You?
Speaker 3: Okay? Guys?
Speaker 2: Fuck, this is a blast in the past. Brittany for
Speaker 2: Brittany did Bachelor in Paradise. Men, she ended up with
Speaker 2: Tim Hanley. Men to go engage and happy and like
Speaker 2: living in.
Speaker 3: A great life.
Speaker 2: We're having a baby, and my god, having babies, like
Speaker 2: you know, the things that can happen in a few
Speaker 2: short years.
Speaker 3: He's doing really well, and we love to see it.
Speaker 3: We love to see it. But he met your family.
Speaker 1: Once, oh my god, once, And I met his family once.
Speaker 1: We menaches family, and then it just went downhill rapidly.
Speaker 1: It was like, yeah, it was like we strapped on
Speaker 1: a weight vest and rolled ourselves down a hill. That's
Speaker 1: how quickly we went down. I am so sorry I
Speaker 1: asked that question.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry because it felt like a setup and I
Speaker 2: just genuinely forgot I had erased him from my memory.
Speaker 1: You set me up and I just hit that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm so glad anyway, you now have you because you laughed.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, he'sa just sitting here asking what the
Speaker 1: fuck happens?
Speaker 3: It just it's a long story.
Speaker 1: Well, I feel like we're on the Truman Show, like
Speaker 1: it wasn't real. That's how I feel like, looking back now,
Speaker 1: like years later, with the wealth of knowledge and wisdom,
Speaker 1: wisdom and that I've developed it behind side that I
Speaker 1: have when I look back on my stint on reality
Speaker 1: TV and realize what the fuck was they doing?
Speaker 3: I look back now and I'm like, it was the
Speaker 3: Truman Show.
Speaker 1: I feel like if I walked a little bit further
Speaker 1: into the ocean in Fiji while filming, I would hit
Speaker 1: the wall.
Speaker 3: That's what I feel like. It actually blows my mind
Speaker 3: that you did that. I completely see it. Anyway, do it?
Speaker 3: I did. I thought it would be great law content.
Speaker 3: Laura blows my mind. You did that also, Laura, you
Speaker 3: should really go do that show.
Speaker 1: I was like, you might.
Speaker 3: Get a boyfriend out of it, and if you don't,
Speaker 3: we'll have shit to talk about.
Speaker 1: Why do you get to do the wholesome shows like
Speaker 1: Dance with the Stars and you throw me to the walls.
Speaker 2: To be fair, everybody dancing with the Stars as this
Speaker 2: Sunday night, Channel seven, seven thirty prayers segway. If you've
Speaker 2: got nothing else to do on your Sunday, just sit there,
Speaker 2: fire up the old what do we call the old TV?
Speaker 3: It's not old and you call it a TV and
Speaker 3: you don't fire it up, You just just fire it up.
Speaker 3: They click her out, they call seven. Should I say
Speaker 3: I'm not dancing. I'm not dancing on this episode.
Speaker 2: I'm dancing on next week's episode, but I feel like
Speaker 2: you should watch this week's episode for the warm up.
Speaker 2: Matt Preston's dancing on. It's gonna be great.
Speaker 1: Well. Also, you're up in the skybox thing, so like
Speaker 1: teams watch other performers, so.
Speaker 3: We might get I come out and I wave. Then
Speaker 3: I'm wearing like a gold dress and you can c
Speaker 3: he says Diana.
Speaker 1: You don't get to come out on you up on
Speaker 1: your podium and do your way anyway.
Speaker 2: Look, guys, I just wanted to remind you it's happening
Speaker 2: this Sunday. If if you're not doing anything and you're
Speaker 2: at home with the kids, just turn it on.
Speaker 3: It's wholesome TV.
Speaker 1: You know who wasn't doing something with the kids? Bella Montoya.
Speaker 3: Oh this is a terrible segue. Well is it? I
Speaker 3: thought it was pretty cool. Well, I mean she was
Speaker 3: doing nothing because she was dead.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then she knocked on the door because she
Speaker 1: wasn't dead. Okay, we need let's give some background.
Speaker 3: There's something else you.
Speaker 2: Want to talk about before we get into answering your
Speaker 2: deep dark questions.
Speaker 3: And it's look, it's very interesting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a seventy six year old woman, it's actually hard
Speaker 1: to believe. Her name is Bella Montoya. She's from Ecuador,
Speaker 1: so she very never been there. I have really Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I did a whole big stin in South and Central
Speaker 1: America for like a year, lovely with it like it
Speaker 1: was nice, plenty of people coming back to life. No,
Speaker 1: well no, it was really sad, so don't joke about it.
Speaker 1: Laura Bella is seventy six, and she passed away and
Speaker 1: it was very very sad. And in Ecuador, things happened
Speaker 1: really fast. So within four or five hours, they were
Speaker 1: having a wake and they were having a funeral for
Speaker 1: her because they don't have.
Speaker 2: Okay, it moves quickly because they don't have like the
Speaker 2: fridges that we have here where they keep people cold.
Speaker 2: So the funeral happens very shortly after being announced dead.
Speaker 1: Apparently she had a heart attack and she died. She
Speaker 1: was like the doctors confirmed her dead. They told the family.
Speaker 1: Everyone was alerted.
Speaker 3: They're very quick, very sad. They very quickly planned the funeral.
Speaker 3: Four hours later, they're at the funeral.
Speaker 1: Everyone is really upset morning, and you know, the coffin
Speaker 1: is displayed up the front at the end of the aisle,
Speaker 1: and then there's like the silence while people are upset,
Speaker 1: and then they.
Speaker 3: Just hear like a And I'll let me tell you,
Speaker 3: no one was at the front door. She was inside.
Speaker 3: She wasn't dead.
Speaker 1: She's inside the coffin and she woke up and she
Speaker 1: was like where am I? She was knocking on the
Speaker 1: coffin door, and then they opened it and she was
Speaker 1: well and truly alive.
Speaker 3: Okay, this is literally everybody's worst hockey' nice.
Speaker 2: Nightmare, but I think we've gotten a bit embellishing with
Speaker 2: the details.
Speaker 3: No, no, it was an open casket.
Speaker 2: She just started spluttering for air and then she crawled
Speaker 2: out of the fucking casket and everyone was like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, she's alive.
Speaker 3: On this wasn't the ring.
Speaker 1: She didn't crawl out, Laura talk about embellishing this story.
Speaker 3: No, I've got a quote here. Okay, we're not embellishing.
Speaker 1: Her left hand was hitting the side of the coffin
Speaker 1: and it was shaking. Missus Montoya's son Gilbert said, so
Speaker 1: he saw the side.
Speaker 3: It was open. But obviously she's knocking on the side
Speaker 3: because she's in there. What do we think. Do we
Speaker 3: think that she was like resurrected or do we think
Speaker 3: she was never dead? She was not dead? Well, how
Speaker 3: do we think this happened?
Speaker 2: Maybe there was a doctor he got his doctor's license
Speaker 2: out of a vending machine. You'd really be thinking about
Speaker 2: getting a second on every other death that occurs in
Speaker 2: your family.
Speaker 1: Hey, well, I reckon it was a cardio respiratory arrest, right,
Speaker 1: And what they've said happens is you can go into
Speaker 1: a translate condition marked by rigidity of the body, decrease
Speaker 1: sensitivity to pain, and a slower bodily function. So I
Speaker 1: reckon she was like a quite slow breathing as well,
Speaker 1: So it can stop for a bit so, I reckon,
Speaker 1: they walked up just at the moment had stopped, whacked
Speaker 1: a hand on the poles, didn't feel it for a second,
Speaker 1: and or like she's passed, took it away and then
Speaker 1: she she wasn't.
Speaker 3: No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: But if you're going to declare someone dead, you check
Speaker 2: it for more than a couple of seconds. You maybe
Speaker 2: even come back two minutes later and check it again,
Speaker 2: like no, one's not got a polese for multiple check
Speaker 2: it four times. If you're going to go so fast
Speaker 2: from announcing someone dead to burying them, you want to
Speaker 2: be really, really sure that they're actually dead.
Speaker 1: Do you know what? The only positive is? The only
Speaker 1: positive is if it was me.
Speaker 3: I don't reckon.
Speaker 1: I would alert anyone straight away. I'd be like, let's
Speaker 1: see what suckers a crying? Let's see whose morning my death?
Speaker 1: Who turned up here? What are they saying?
Speaker 3: Are there speeches? Britt?
Speaker 2: I think if you found yourself waking up in a coffin,
Speaker 2: you would alert people pretty looking quickly. I don't think
Speaker 2: you'd be like, let's see who's here and then wait
Speaker 2: until they're like shoveling in some dirt before you make
Speaker 2: it known.
Speaker 3: All right, this has gone far enough for everybody. I'd
Speaker 3: pop up after half an hour. I'd be like, Benny,
Speaker 3: why haven't you shed a tear yet? That'd be me, Okay.
Speaker 2: I know everyone says that they'd like to be a
Speaker 2: fly on the wall at their own funeral, but I
Speaker 2: don't think I would.
Speaker 3: I would Why what are you gonna get out of it?
Speaker 3: Exactly what I said.
Speaker 1: I want to know who's crying. I want to like
Speaker 1: who who showed up, who didn't show up? How many
Speaker 1: exes turn up? Because I reckon? They'd be I reckon too?
Speaker 1: Would you reckon two of your exes? I reckon my
Speaker 1: first day?
Speaker 3: This is pretty big cool? I reckon my first ex.
Speaker 3: Would I reckon?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I swear him for eight years? But awkward if he doesn't.
Speaker 2: I would have thought some of my exes might, But
Speaker 2: the amount of smack I've talked about them on this podcast.
Speaker 3: They turn up to make sure you're actually there, they're like, God,
Speaker 3: she's she's gone.
Speaker 2: Absolutely not coming anymore, that's for sure.
Speaker 3: So if you got the choice to look over your funeral,
Speaker 3: you wouldn't. I think it would just make me very sad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would, hope that you lot Mitch during included Keisha,
Speaker 1: my sister Sherry. I hope everyone would be making jokes.
Speaker 1: I hope they'd be like a rap.
Speaker 2: Maybe we would be making jokes about how the fact
Speaker 2: that you're probably still alive and knocking.
Speaker 3: Oh she's probably yeah, this probably isn't even her.
Speaker 2: Let's be real though, I mean, turns out it was
Speaker 2: good that she was getting buried and she wasn't sent
Speaker 2: off to be cremated.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, Sorry, that was a bit far, wasn't it. All Right?
Speaker 2: Look, you know what, I feel like we should probably
Speaker 2: get into answering some of the questions because this is
Speaker 2: gonna be triggering for someone.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, And to be clear, the only reason we're
Speaker 1: discussing it is because she is doing well. She she
Speaker 1: was not harmed in the making of this funeral.
Speaker 3: Of the funeral.
Speaker 1: Alright, let's get into our vibes. I'm gonna I'm bringing
Speaker 1: a vibe this week. Too much information. I have my period.
Speaker 1: When I get my period, I break out. I get
Speaker 1: little pimples, little tiny ones, not acne, but I get
Speaker 1: pimples every month.
Speaker 3: To the dot, there is something called tb H that's
Speaker 3: the brand.
Speaker 1: Now I reckon there are multiple brands, so I don't
Speaker 1: want to single out one brand, but it's the one
Speaker 1: I use.
Speaker 3: TB H. Patch it up. It's a little tiny clear
Speaker 3: pimple patch. You use them more time. It's true. He
Speaker 3: just using them all time too.
Speaker 1: I actually just gave Mitch a hug and I saw
Speaker 1: one on his face, and I thought that I had
Speaker 1: transferred my pimple patch to his. And I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I put my patch on the sided.
Speaker 3: Why didn't I? Yeah, but you just think that when
Speaker 3: you like rub and faces, that it could roll off.
Speaker 1: But they're tiny, little clear patches that if you get
Speaker 1: a pimple, there's a in the packet. There's all these
Speaker 1: different sizes and you just peel off a tiny patch.
Speaker 1: You put it on whatever pimples you've got, and you
Speaker 1: I mean, I got a bed in it.
Speaker 3: I sleep in them. I always wondered if these things
Speaker 3: were decent.
Speaker 2: Thought I used to do the whole like paste, it's
Speaker 2: so bad for your skin, don't Okay, this is my
Speaker 2: non recommendation. When we were kids, we got to old
Speaker 2: put toothpaste on your skin. Doesn't it literally burns you.
Speaker 2: It is a terrible thing, and it gives you x
Speaker 2: mount don't do toothpaste.
Speaker 3: Makes it so much dry. I was doing it until
Speaker 3: about six months ago. No joke.
Speaker 1: As an adults, still put toothbaste on my face. Still
Speaker 1: something you stop doing when you're fourteen, not me. No,
Speaker 1: keep it going. Well Off the back of that, I
Speaker 1: actually have two recommendations. Both of them are low brow.
Speaker 2: I don't think they're going to change anyone's life, but look,
Speaker 2: I've quite enjoyed them. Mine have a strip, I have
Speaker 2: another patch thing that's a recommendation. If you want to
Speaker 2: whiten your teeth and you haven't tried them, the Oral
Speaker 2: B whitening strips. They are freaking amazing. Go and buy
Speaker 2: the Oral B whitening strips and give them a crack.
Speaker 2: You can get them from literally any grocery store and
Speaker 2: they are amazing.
Speaker 1: To be clear, our Vibes and unsubscribes are never sponsored.
Speaker 3: Just to be clear, like, oh yeah, this is dropping
Speaker 3: brand names for free.
Speaker 1: I have no.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's a shame because I'm sure Oral B
Speaker 2: have a lot of money, but it is absolutely not sponsored.
Speaker 2: This is just shit that we like that's happening in
Speaker 2: our lives. The other one is also extremely low bra.
Speaker 2: If you're someone who spends all the time on TikTok,
Speaker 2: you may already know their TikTok account. It's a person
Speaker 2: called Purple Pingers. Look, he's got one hundred and twenty
Speaker 2: seven thousand followers.
Speaker 3: He's not a drug dealer.
Speaker 2: He's not a drug dealer. He's had three point three
Speaker 2: million views on his videos. But basically keep us and
Speaker 2: in this current climate of like terrible rentals and the
Speaker 2: rental market and the housing market, he creates very very funny,
Speaker 2: satirical videos about the shit rental crisis within Australia and
Speaker 2: he calls it shit rentals, and he basically finds the
Speaker 2: worst rental properties that are being listed for the X
Speaker 2: amount of money and then he does like a tour
Speaker 2: around them and they're so funny and I really fucking
Speaker 2: enjoy the way he does it. It really makes you
Speaker 2: feel a bit depress about what's happening in the current
Speaker 2: economical climate. But that's my recommendation. Question number one, should
Speaker 2: people ask first before posting photos of other people's children? Now,
Speaker 2: I know that I myself have always asked in the
Speaker 2: instance that I was going to post a photo of
Speaker 2: my friend's baby or somebody's baby or kid who I know,
Speaker 2: whether it be on stories or on social media or
Speaker 2: a post whatever.
Speaker 3: But recently I had a child of my own.
Speaker 2: Now a few people have asked when they have shared
Speaker 2: photos to Instagram if they could post photos of my baby,
Speaker 2: But a lot of people haven't, and I've noticed that
Speaker 2: this has been happening increasingly and it makes me feel
Speaker 2: really frustrated that they don't check with me first whether
Speaker 2: it's okay for them to post photos of my child.
Speaker 2: Am I totally overthinking it? Would love to hear your
Speaker 2: views on what is the etiquette on posting photos of
Speaker 2: other people's kids.
Speaker 1: I think this one's going to be heavily you, Laura,
Speaker 1: because it's really hard to have an opinion when I
Speaker 1: don't have a child and know what that is like
Speaker 1: to have that child exposed on people's social media. It's
Speaker 1: hard for me, I would imagine when I think about
Speaker 1: my friends. I do have some really close friends that
Speaker 1: I have taken pictures of their kids before, or group
Speaker 1: photos with all of us and putting them on and
Speaker 1: it's been fine. I've also done it before with a
Speaker 1: friend that's like, hey, I don't really want that on there,
Speaker 1: and I took it down straight away. That was I mean,
Speaker 1: it was probably about eighteen months ago, but it was
Speaker 1: a story and it wasn't just of the child, but
Speaker 1: the child was in it.
Speaker 3: But I didn't ask for that one.
Speaker 1: It didn't cross my mind to And that was maybe
Speaker 1: a level of ignorance I had because I had never
Speaker 1: thought about it because I don't.
Speaker 2: Have kids, totally agreed, you know, before I had children.
Speaker 2: I remember one of my really good girlfriends had had
Speaker 2: her first baby and I'd just come off the back
Speaker 2: of batch and I remember I went and saw her
Speaker 2: and I took a photo and posted it, and she
Speaker 2: messaged me and she said, hey, you have a lot
Speaker 2: of people following you who you don't know. Can you
Speaker 2: please take it down? And that was probably the first
Speaker 2: time where I even really thought about it. I think
Speaker 2: at the time I didn't have kids myself. I was
Speaker 2: also new to the whole social media thing and didn't
Speaker 2: really I was just excited and wanted to share in
Speaker 2: my excitement by sharing a photo, of course, but didn't
Speaker 2: really think about what impact that would have on her
Speaker 2: or in the way that she wanted her child to
Speaker 2: be represented online. The reason why I think that there
Speaker 2: isn't a black and white opinion on this is because
Speaker 2: I mean, firstly, one, I think it is always the
Speaker 2: respectful thing to ask. If you're going to post a
Speaker 2: photo of somebody else's kid, ask to get permission. I mean,
Speaker 2: even if they post photos of their child themselves, it's
Speaker 2: always nice to make sure that the parent is okay
Speaker 2: with that photo being shared, because the parent might see
Speaker 2: something in that photo that you haven't seen. It could be,
Speaker 2: for example, that the little kid skirt is hitched up,
Speaker 2: or there's something about the photo that you, as a
Speaker 2: non parent of that child, don't think is an issue,
Speaker 2: but that parent might look at that and go, oh no,
Speaker 2: I don't want that on social media for my kids.
Speaker 2: So I think always ask. Yeah.
Speaker 1: There might all be reasons that you don't know about,
Speaker 1: or that they don't want to share the reasons that
Speaker 1: they don't want the.
Speaker 3: Kid online as well. So I think it's definitely inadequacy.
Speaker 2: Now, well to That's what I was going to say,
Speaker 2: because I think it's a bit of a gray area. Say,
Speaker 2: for example, me, like I do share pictures of my
Speaker 2: kids very curated. I choose the things that I share
Speaker 2: of my children online. But I think that sometimes people
Speaker 2: interpret that as though it is totally fine for them
Speaker 2: to share photos of my children, and I would say
Speaker 2: more often than not, friends and family share pictures of
Speaker 2: our kids without checking or without asking, and normally it's fine.
Speaker 2: I don't think that there's been really a situation that's
Speaker 2: made me go I wish that that one hadn't been shared.
Speaker 2: But there's definitely been times where, you know, it was
Speaker 2: earlier on say, for example, when Laula was a really
Speaker 2: little baby or Maley was really little, and I was
Speaker 2: still nabating what I did or didn't feel comfortable with.
Speaker 2: I think that that probably was a bit more of
Speaker 2: an issue for me then. So I do think that
Speaker 2: it's kind of a bit of a gray area because
Speaker 2: when you're someone who's posts your kids online, it almost
Speaker 2: green lights other people to do the same. But if
Speaker 2: you're somebody who never posts photos of your children online,
Speaker 2: I think that people are more inclined to ask whether
Speaker 2: or not they should or shouldn't do it, you know,
Speaker 2: I mean, it's almost like you've created that benchmark. But
Speaker 2: I think as a parent it's okay to communicate that.
Speaker 2: You can say it to your friends and to your family. Hey,
Speaker 2: if you're gonna take photos of you know, my little one,
Speaker 2: whatever their name is. If you're gonna post it, can
Speaker 2: you please check with me first before you do it,
Speaker 2: because it is weird to post photos of other people's
Speaker 2: kids without checking.
Speaker 3: I think, just yeah, just do the respectful thing. Be
Speaker 3: on the safe sign. If you don't know, it's better
Speaker 3: to ask.
Speaker 1: If your little finger is hovering over the post button
Speaker 1: and you're like should I shouldn't I.
Speaker 3: Then you shouldn't. If you're wondering, don't do it. Just
Speaker 3: ask the question. But don't you think most people do?
Speaker 1: Though?
Speaker 2: Like I would say most people share photos of other
Speaker 2: people's kids without having a second thought.
Speaker 3: One hundred percent would have shared a photo of Lola
Speaker 3: or Maley. Yeah, totally, one hundred percent. Like I'm thinking,
Speaker 3: I can peak ship.
Speaker 1: I don't do it a lot because I don't see
Speaker 1: them a lot anymore because we're just such like workers.
Speaker 3: But I can think of photos that I've posted.
Speaker 1: Having said that, there was probably an undercurrent in me
Speaker 1: that knew that that was okay, but I didn't ask,
Speaker 1: And that doesn't mean it's okay. But it'd be like
Speaker 1: a selfie of us at the office or working or
Speaker 1: when they were looking cute, you know, fully closed whatever,
Speaker 1: But that doesn't matter.
Speaker 3: I'm still showing a child's face. But yeah, there are definitely.
Speaker 1: Times where you're like, oh, well, I know that Laura
Speaker 1: would post this, so it's probably okay for me to
Speaker 1: put Lola Derby on my.
Speaker 3: Story, do you know.
Speaker 2: It's a really interesting one because, like when you think
Speaker 2: about celebrities who post photos of their kids and paparazzi photos,
Speaker 2: So if a celebrity doesn't share photos of their children
Speaker 2: on their social media, paparazzis have to blur out their faces.
Speaker 3: So if they put their photo.
Speaker 2: So for example, if just say Ryan Reynolds is getting
Speaker 2: photos taken of him down the street with Blake Lovely,
Speaker 2: and there's photos of the kids in those photos, Daily
Speaker 2: Mail will have to blur the faces out of those
Speaker 2: children when they publish the photos because the parents don't
Speaker 2: share images. But for example, if you are somebody who
Speaker 2: shares images of your children on social media, the paparazzi
Speaker 2: don't have to blur out images of their faces. So
Speaker 2: there's almost like different rules that apply. If you're somebody
Speaker 2: who shares pictures of your kids, and I guess that
Speaker 2: that's why it's confusing for other people because if you're
Speaker 2: okay with sharing it, then it kind of green lights
Speaker 2: other people to think that they should be okay with
Speaker 2: sharing it too.
Speaker 3: But maybe it is something.
Speaker 2: That we need to be more like yeah, and have
Speaker 2: more conversations around and actually check with the people who
Speaker 2: are in your life if they want their kids to
Speaker 2: be shared in that way.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to say anything, but sometimes you post
Speaker 1: Elilah and you don't ask me.
Speaker 3: No one's asked you. Yeah, it's not her best question.
Speaker 3: It's so beautiful. Okay, question number two, this is a
Speaker 3: really good one. Am I being stingy?
Speaker 1: My partner and I recently went over to our friend's place.
Speaker 1: They are a couple for dinner. They invited us over.
Speaker 1: They've recently moved out of home. It was just going
Speaker 1: to be a really nice night in. Before we went over,
Speaker 1: we asked them, whatever run, Hey, do you want us
Speaker 1: to bring anything? They responded with, nope, We've got all
Speaker 1: the ingredients. We'll just let you know how much it
Speaker 1: works out to be so we can split the cost. What.
Speaker 3: Yes, Now, my partner and I have been I think
Speaker 3: I know where you're going with this.
Speaker 1: Now. My partner and I have been living out of
Speaker 1: home for three years. We've had these friends over multiple times,
Speaker 1: and we have never asked them to transfer us half
Speaker 1: the food bill. They ended up getting us to give
Speaker 1: them fifteen dollars for dinner, which obviously isn't much.
Speaker 3: It's not about the money.
Speaker 1: It's more about the principle that we've had them over
Speaker 1: multiple times and we have never asked for anything. We
Speaker 1: don't even ask them to bring anything. The context, we're
Speaker 1: twenty three slash twenty four years old. I get that
Speaker 1: the cost of living is high, but this seems pretty ridiculous.
Speaker 3: Right. Have I been stingy?
Speaker 1: Or is it appropriate to ask guests to transfer when
Speaker 1: they've invited you to their house for dinner.
Speaker 3: I am mortified.
Speaker 1: I am mortified that the dinner cost them fifteen dollars
Speaker 1: that they had to take over for the.
Speaker 3: Take a bottle of bloody wine.
Speaker 2: You don't ask people coming to your house for fifteen dollars.
Speaker 2: Different if you guys are doing like, you know, like
Speaker 2: some sort of like fancy cooking thing, and you're like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm going to do this great, big, beautiful meal put
Speaker 2: on and your friend has kind of asked you to host, like, oh,
Speaker 2: you know, you can't come to my house. I don't
Speaker 2: have enough space. Can we do it at your house?
Speaker 2: Then everyone pitches in. But if your friend has invited
Speaker 2: you over for dinner and you could have gone out
Speaker 2: for dinner, they've invited you over, you've had them over before,
Speaker 2: and then they asked you for fifteen dollars, they are
Speaker 2: a tight ass, which also makes me think maybe they're
Speaker 2: doing it really tough.
Speaker 3: Maybe they're really in a bad spot. Well, if you're
Speaker 3: in that much of a bad spot, I don't know.
Speaker 1: If you invite people over for dinner, maybe maybe you
Speaker 1: do it a different way, right, maybe you say, hey,
Speaker 1: what fifteen dollars? I think you've got to say it
Speaker 1: when you do the setup, when you do the invitation,
Speaker 1: you've got to say, hey, why don't we all chip in,
Speaker 1: have a pizza knight or something, you know, like make
Speaker 1: it really at the start, Like if you're struggling, which
Speaker 1: a lot of people are. If you're struggling, but you
Speaker 1: want to invite people over, set the ground standards, then
Speaker 1: be like, hey, let's come over. Let's throw in twenty
Speaker 1: bucks each, get a bottle of wine, We'll order some takeaway,
Speaker 1: we'll play some card games, whatever, but set the standard.
Speaker 3: You cannot say, come to dinner, but BYO bring fifteen.
Speaker 2: Dollars, you can't. You absolutely can't. Look I mean you,
Speaker 2: I mean you can because your friend did it. You
Speaker 2: did They did it, they did it. In this instance,
Speaker 2: what would I do? I would pay the fifteen dollars
Speaker 2: and I would never say anything because it's just awkward
Speaker 2: for everyone. But if you're listening to this and you've
Speaker 2: ever invited people over and then thought I'm gonna ask
Speaker 2: them for fifteen dollars to pay for their own meal,
Speaker 2: it's just one of those instances where you shouldn't.
Speaker 3: I think, do you know?
Speaker 2: I think?
Speaker 1: And it does suck because the more I think about it,
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, maybe they really are doing it tough.
Speaker 1: But I think another thing to do, if you'll and
Speaker 1: I'm talking directly to the couple that have asked for
Speaker 1: the fifteen dollars.
Speaker 3: Now they didn't write it, they're not listening. I don't care.
Speaker 1: But what should have happened was when they said can
Speaker 1: I bring anything? Maybe then you say, oh, it'd be
Speaker 1: great to bring a bottle of wine, or why don't
Speaker 1: you bring a dessert, like you know, like I'll do
Speaker 1: the mains.
Speaker 3: Yeah, sure, throw it, because I think that's it's fine.
Speaker 1: If a friend invited me to dinner and I said
Speaker 1: can I bring anything, and they said grab a dessert,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't think twice about that because I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I definitely.
Speaker 3: Want to come and contribute, but it's that No, we'll
Speaker 3: just do the grocery shop it and just pay half of.
Speaker 2: It totally, or even like bring a salad, bring the
Speaker 2: side dish to the meal, whatever it is, like some
Speaker 2: sort of some sort of meal contribution is nowhere near
Speaker 2: as offensive as asking for a monetary contribution, especially especially
Speaker 2: when the money is such a small amount, like fifteen
Speaker 2: dollars is a small amount, which is what makes it
Speaker 2: feel more trivial, And that's what makes me go either
Speaker 2: they're in a real bind and that fifteen dollars is
Speaker 2: really important, or they are a tight ass and they've
Speaker 2: literally like a penny pinched and counted out how much
Speaker 2: each meal has cost and said, well, you owe us
Speaker 2: fifteen dollars for this.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Maybe they think that's how you dinner party. I don't know, Yeah,
Speaker 3: maybe they've not dinner partied much.
Speaker 2: Maybe they're young, and they're twenty three, twenty fours, and
Speaker 2: this is the first time they've had people over to
Speaker 2: their house and they are going to get a rude shock.
Speaker 2: But I think the other part of this is if
Speaker 2: they have come to your house many times and never
Speaker 2: ask and you've never asked for anything, I think it
Speaker 2: just sets a really odd tone, Like it sets a
Speaker 2: really odd kind of like benchmark that it's okay for
Speaker 2: them to come over and eat your food and enjoy
Speaker 2: your hospitality, but then they're not going to do the
Speaker 2: same in return. And it also means that next time
Speaker 2: you're never gonna want to go up to their house
Speaker 2: for dinner again.
Speaker 1: And the funny thing is, and why is that just
Speaker 1: a social expectation, I guess, But the thing is, like
Speaker 1: it leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
Speaker 3: Because the food was bad, even though it shouldn't.
Speaker 1: Though it's fifteen bucks, it shouldn't bothery that much, but
Speaker 1: it sort of does because.
Speaker 3: You're like, well, I always invite you for dinner, Like
Speaker 3: why have you?
Speaker 2: It's an unusual I think the reason why leaves a
Speaker 2: bad taste in your mouth is because it feels like
Speaker 2: it's not generous. You know, usually when you invite people over,
Speaker 2: it's because you're offering something. You're offering entertainment or you're
Speaker 2: offering hospitality. You are welcoming people into your home, and
Speaker 2: it feels unwelcoming to sit down and kind of itemize
Speaker 2: what they have had in your house. And it's that like, okay,
Speaker 2: well you had one glass of wine, and you had
Speaker 2: a glass of tap water, and you had a juice.
Speaker 2: You owe me seven dollars fifty. It just feels like
Speaker 2: it lacks generosity. And that's why I think people are
Speaker 2: more or offended by it when it's a small amount
Speaker 2: rather than when it's a bigger amount. Yeah, go back.
Speaker 2: It's like going on a date and having some guy
Speaker 2: be like, can you please pay two dolls? Well, no,
Speaker 2: no coffee, two dolls, but pay five dollars fifty for
Speaker 2: your coffee.
Speaker 3: It's like literally every data went on in my twenties.
Speaker 3: You need to pay for that sandwich.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, we all know the great sanwich saga of
Speaker 1: my twenties.
Speaker 3: All right, question number three.
Speaker 2: Girls, I need your expertise. This is a good one.
Speaker 2: I have feelings.
Speaker 3: My partner and I have been together for almost ten
Speaker 3: months now. We live together. We are madly in love
Speaker 3: and talking about our future blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 3: But he doesn't want our relationship on social media. He
Speaker 3: doesn't want our relationship status on there. He doesn't want
Speaker 3: any photos on Insta, et cetera. He doesn't mind when
Speaker 3: I put up photos on mine, but he doesn't like
Speaker 3: anything on his. Is this strange or fairly normal? I'm
Speaker 3: very much a if I'm in a relationship with my partner,
Speaker 3: then I'm going to put it on social media kind
Speaker 3: of person. But he doesn't want anything on his at all.
Speaker 1: Look, I understand why that is upsetting, because when you're
Speaker 1: in love and social media, we put so much weight
Speaker 1: and importance on social media. We really do this generation,
Speaker 1: and I don't necessarily think we should. But when you're
Speaker 1: in love, especially neely in love, even not even newly
Speaker 1: in love, but it's a part of your day to day,
Speaker 1: you want everyone to know.
Speaker 3: You want to tell the world about it. You want
Speaker 3: shout it.
Speaker 1: You get a great photo, sexy photo, beautiful photo, impromptuy,
Speaker 1: photoshop at the louver, whatever it is, you want to
Speaker 1: put it on your head.
Speaker 3: You want to print them up and put them in
Speaker 3: your lounge roop, you make a shrine.
Speaker 1: But it is an important part of people's world now.
Speaker 1: One thing I have learned because I used to be
Speaker 1: in that position, and I used to crave the day
Speaker 1: I could be on someone social media, mainly because I
Speaker 1: craved the day that someone loved me enough, was proud
Speaker 1: of me enough to do.
Speaker 3: That the validation of earth, just to want to to
Speaker 3: be proud.
Speaker 1: And one thing I've realized now is that just doesn't
Speaker 1: mean anything, especially if he's not asking you to keep
Speaker 1: it off yours, he's not trying to keep it a secret.
Speaker 1: I'd be more alarmed if he was saying I don't
Speaker 1: want you to post me, that would be alarm bells.
Speaker 1: But when he's saying to you do what you want,
Speaker 1: but it's not my thing, like I post Bean all
Speaker 1: the time when I'm with him. I think he's put
Speaker 1: one photo op of me in our relationship in the
Speaker 1: last like seven eight months, and I'm okay with that.
Speaker 3: I have a few feelings.
Speaker 2: I'm probably not as okay with it as you are,
Speaker 2: brit but for different reasons. And I think that there
Speaker 2: are a lot of questions you need to ask yourself
Speaker 2: because I don't think this is something that can be
Speaker 2: black and white. My questions are, does he frequently use
Speaker 2: social media and post to social media often about his
Speaker 2: life and his day. If the answer is yes, and
Speaker 2: you're the only part of it that he's excluding, then yeah,
Speaker 2: that's really weird. If it's a photography account, if he
Speaker 2: only posts photos of dogs photographer, you know, if he
Speaker 2: only post photos of his food, then fine, Like I
Speaker 2: get it. But if he's posting from his life and
Speaker 2: he uses social media actively but he refuses to have
Speaker 2: anything of you on there, then I think that that
Speaker 2: is weird. Does he allow you to tag him in photos?
Speaker 2: You allow to post photos on your account, and then
Speaker 2: when you tag him in the photos, he leaves the
Speaker 2: tag active so you can go to tag photos or
Speaker 2: is he like.
Speaker 3: You can't exist of my Yeah, I don't want any.
Speaker 2: Trace of me and you together, because I mean, it's
Speaker 2: one thing to have photos of them, but then for
Speaker 2: them to be no.
Speaker 3: Trace of it on their account, you know.
Speaker 2: And I guess, like, what is his reasoning for not
Speaker 2: wanting to be in a relationship with you on Facebook?
Speaker 2: Like what is the reasons that he's giving you when
Speaker 2: you say, hey, I want to change my relationship status
Speaker 2: to in a relationship with my boyfriend who I live with.
Speaker 2: It's not like you've just started dating totally. What does
Speaker 2: he say back to this? And the only reason why
Speaker 2: I feel skeptic of this is because I dated someone
Speaker 2: who also didn't want me on social media, who didn't
Speaker 2: want anything public on his social media, who never ever
Speaker 2: would accept my friend to the point where I would
Speaker 2: send him a relationship request and he would deny it
Speaker 2: and thought it was funny. But the reason why he
Speaker 2: was doing that was because he was a piece of
Speaker 2: shit and was cheating.
Speaker 3: On me totally. But I don't think that's what this
Speaker 3: girl is.
Speaker 2: No, I don't think that this is black and white.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that because he doesn't put you on
Speaker 2: new social media that that's the outcome she's please please.
Speaker 1: Him.
Speaker 2: No, But what I'm saying is that one version is
Speaker 2: way more telling, and one version of it is way
Speaker 2: more deceitful than the other. You know, if he's not
Speaker 2: someone who uses social media much, if it's not something
Speaker 2: that plays a big role in his life, if he
Speaker 2: doesn't seem to care about it at all, then I
Speaker 2: understand why he doesn't post you.
Speaker 3: But if it's a big part of his life.
Speaker 2: If he's really proactive on it and you're the only
Speaker 2: part that's missing, then that's when I would say, alarm
Speaker 2: bell should be ringing for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I just think, I mean, what I have
Speaker 1: taken from this is the fact that you've said he
Speaker 1: does let you pretty much do what you want.
Speaker 3: He couldn't care less on yours. It does make me.
Speaker 1: Think I don't think there's anything deceitful going on. I
Speaker 1: don't think there's anything malicious, like you know, I think
Speaker 1: he's probably just it's just not his jam and I
Speaker 1: could be wrong.
Speaker 3: You're only going to know yourself.
Speaker 2: But how does it go with like PDA is what
Speaker 2: I want to know, Like, is he someone who's really
Speaker 2: against like public displays of affection as well? Or is
Speaker 2: he quite happy to be like a PDA person in public?
Speaker 3: Some people are also just private people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like even I'm I'm just relating it back to
Speaker 1: me now. I just went and checked again because I
Speaker 1: didn't know what Ben posts, but I just double checked.
Speaker 1: He's definitely only posted one thing of me ever in existence.
Speaker 1: He doesn't really do stories. I mean, he doesn't do anything.
Speaker 1: And we have spoken he's just a really private person.
Speaker 1: And it's not to say he's not going to but
Speaker 1: he's also like he's very deep and he's very meaningful,
Speaker 1: and he's like, well, this is, you know, a moment
Speaker 1: we're sharing.
Speaker 3: I'll remember this, like I don't need to put it,
Speaker 3: you know. And I'm so okay with that because.
Speaker 1: I've gotten to a point where I'm like a fucking
Speaker 1: rather a really good person that I trust that doesn't
Speaker 1: post me to like a sociopath that has a double life,
Speaker 1: you know, and that's the reason he wants to keep
Speaker 1: me on social media. Don't read too much into it.
Speaker 1: If you don't think anything deceitful was going on. If
Speaker 1: you actually completely have worries that there's another reason, totalterior motive,
Speaker 1: then listen to that and have a chat to rom
Speaker 1: about it. But at the end of the day, just
Speaker 1: don't don't worry about what other people think. If he's
Speaker 1: not posting, you, don't worry about it. Like, at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, it only matters that your relationship
Speaker 1: behind closed doors, the way you treat each other and
Speaker 1: the love and respect you have for each other.
Speaker 2: Well, I think one thing that you just said, Ben
Speaker 2: britt As well, is just like if you don't suspect
Speaker 2: that there's anything else, like you know, you know if
Speaker 2: it comes from a deceitfuol place, because your intuition and
Speaker 2: your body would be telling you that they're lying. And
Speaker 2: that was very much the case in my instance. I
Speaker 2: was like, well, there's a reason like you well personally,
Speaker 2: and I think I can read between the lines. But
Speaker 2: if you're saying that this is someone who you do
Speaker 2: trust and that they're penguin, I think the only thing
Speaker 2: that I keep coming back to is that if they
Speaker 2: are prolific on social media, but they're leaving you out
Speaker 2: of it, then I would be asking questions as to why,
Speaker 2: like are they not proud of me? Do you not
Speaker 2: want to share our relationship? Is there somebody that you're
Speaker 2: hiding it from? They're the questions I would be asking
Speaker 2: if they're posting all the time and they just aren't
Speaker 2: posting you, because the difference with you, Britt as well
Speaker 2: is like you don't see Ben every day. He's in
Speaker 2: another country, so you only see him for short period.
Speaker 2: She lives with this guy.
Speaker 3: Oh, she's a part of you. Every day. I'm making
Speaker 3: Ben post me when he's here. I'm like, I'm gone
Speaker 3: on your groom. It's gonna happen. Yeah, I'm going on the.
Speaker 2: Grid Because now you've realized and you've already been on
Speaker 2: there once.
Speaker 3: You're like, mate, it's about time.
Speaker 1: Look now, I said this out loud. Catch up your
Speaker 1: fucking game. I'm like, we've got plenty of great photos.
Speaker 3: I'm like, we look great enough. You post You're like,
Speaker 3: how have you already raised some one?
Speaker 2: Foe?
Speaker 3: Now I can see it in your eyes. You're like,
Speaker 3: fuck this calling you.
Speaker 1: No, I don't really care, but there are definitely grid
Speaker 1: posts coming in if you want to follow it.
Speaker 3: I don't really care. Everything's fun.
Speaker 2: I'm so fine anyway, guys, that is it from us.
Speaker 2: If you love the episode, If you have any questions
Speaker 2: to ask on Cut, please slide into the DMS at
Speaker 2: Life on Cut podcast. You can also join us on
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Speaker 2: and on the TikTok which is Life on Cut podcast.
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