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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.

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Speaker 2: Now I say it all the time, kids spell love t.

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Speaker 1: I am And now here's the stars of our show,

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Speaker 1: my mum and dad.

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Speaker 2: Hey can I tell you Joe?

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Speaker 3: Shoot?

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Speaker 2: Knock?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Hey, no knock jokes?

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Speaker 5: Don't you who's there? I've done it, I've done up.

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Speaker 5: Who isn't that a good jokes?

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Speaker 3: So bad?

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Speaker 2: It's such such a show.

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Speaker 3: So juvenile for the kids love it, don't they can?

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Speaker 4: I This is doctor Justin Coilson on the author of

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Speaker 4: six books about how to make families happy. Pooh jokes.

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Speaker 4: Pooh jokes make families happy. Not mums, but everybody else.

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Speaker 4: And I'm the founder of Happy Families dot com dot

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Speaker 4: I you who are you? Who am I?

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Speaker 2: Well, no, I know who you are, but tell everybody

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Speaker 2: who you are.

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Speaker 3: I'm Kylie.

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Speaker 5: You call me missus Happy Families from time to time.

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Speaker 5: I don't know how happy I am all the time.

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Speaker 5: And I'm the mum to our six daughters.

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Speaker 4: Today is I'll do better tomorrow if you knew to

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Speaker 4: the podcast. Every Friday we talk about things that we've

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Speaker 4: learned so that we can parent with better intention tomorrow

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Speaker 4: so that we can be better parents. I don't know, tomorrow,

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Speaker 4: next week, next time we get the opportunity to be parents.

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Speaker 3: In five minutes.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, as soon as the podcast's over and we are

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Speaker 4: back with the kids again. Do you want to go

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Speaker 4: first today or you're on me too?

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Speaker 5: Oh? Look, I have to share a little thing that

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Speaker 5: happened last weekend. Yeah, Saturday morning is our family clean up.

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Speaker 3: We spend some time cleaning up and.

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Speaker 2: At the moment, don't the kids love it?

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Speaker 3: By the way, yeah, that's a whole nother story.

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Speaker 5: But anyway, we've had a lot of rain lately where

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Speaker 5: we live, and our garden is overgrown with weeds, and

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Speaker 5: so the last few weekends in particular, we've spent some

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Speaker 5: time out in the garden. Miss seven burst into our

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Speaker 5: bedroom at six am. I wasn't even oh I probably

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Speaker 5: was awake, only just, but I was still on my bed,

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Speaker 5: and she.

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Speaker 6: Said, Mummy, mommy, have I missed weeding?

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Speaker 2: It's like, no, not at six o'clock in the morning.

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Speaker 5: Yea, And she said, oh, few, that's my favorite.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 3: At least one of us likes weeding.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, we love to get into the garden. And weed.

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Speaker 4: I think I'm going to have to buy some spray.

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Speaker 4: I know that's bad for the environment, bad for everything,

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Speaker 4: but I'm sick of spending my Saturday mornings weeding we had.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to go with older better tomorrow.

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Speaker 4: First, I had just another reminder of how sometimes just

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Speaker 4: getting out one on one with the kids is hugely,

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Speaker 4: hugely important. So one of the kids had a birthday

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Speaker 4: just the other day. She turned eleven, very excited that

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Speaker 4: she's not a teenager and not a teenager anymore, but

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Speaker 4: she was having a kind of a so so day.

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Speaker 2: I had stacks on.

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Speaker 4: As much as I wanted to be fully available for

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Speaker 4: her her, it just wasn't going to happen.

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Speaker 2: You were flooded.

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Speaker 4: With more to do than was possible. And it's one

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Speaker 4: of those things, right, this is the reality of life.

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Speaker 4: We're supposed to be available and attentive to our children.

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Speaker 4: We're supposed to well you and I I'm like, you know,

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Speaker 4: I'm the expert. We're supposed to absolutely get this right.

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Speaker 4: And it just was working out for her. So she

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Speaker 4: came to me miserable, and I was so grateful that

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Speaker 4: she did and that she could put her arms around

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Speaker 4: me and explain what was going on. And I said, okay,

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Speaker 4: well after dinner, what about if I take you out?

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Speaker 4: So he jumped in the car. I said, where do

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Speaker 4: you want to go? She said, let's go get some

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Speaker 4: ice cream. I said, okay, ice cream it is. We

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Speaker 4: went to Cold Rock ice Creamery. And because I'm a

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Speaker 4: bit stingy, I really don't like going to these ice

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Speaker 4: cream shops where you kind of pay about eight bucks

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Speaker 4: for a scoop of ice cream.

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Speaker 2: Even if you.

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Speaker 3: Can get a leader of ice cream.

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Speaker 4: For that, that's right, you can too, of the high

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Speaker 4: quality stuff. You can go and get the very best

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Speaker 4: ice cream for about eight dollars for a Leader. And

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Speaker 4: here I am getting a scoop with a few mix ins,

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Speaker 4: and so we've walked in.

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Speaker 2: I ordered, actually, let me tell you.

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Speaker 4: I ordered lemon sawbet with a raphae yellow white chocolate

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Speaker 4: mixed into it and some passion fruit.

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Speaker 2: It was amazing.

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Speaker 3: She ordered this sounds like all of your favorite things,

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Speaker 3: Yes into it a little car.

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Speaker 2: I was in heaven. Anyway.

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Speaker 4: She ordered this bubblegum ice cream with all the sour

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Speaker 4: and herds and all that sort of stuff. She asked

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Speaker 4: so she could try mine. I'm like, ah, it's lemon sawbet,

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Speaker 4: She's not gonna like that. She had one bite and

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Speaker 4: her eyes looked up and she's like, oh, can I

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Speaker 4: have yours? No, So I had to share my ice

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Speaker 4: cream with her. I gave her about half of my

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Speaker 4: lemon saw babes her birthday.

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Speaker 2: It was her birthday.

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Speaker 3: I'm guessing you didn't eat the rainbow and nerds.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 2: Then I ate half of hers.

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Speaker 4: But what was so cool about it is there was

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Speaker 4: just this beautiful genuineness. There was this sharing, and it

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Speaker 4: reminded me again of love these kids so much. And

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Speaker 4: it reminded me again of why it's so important that

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Speaker 4: we had that one on one time. I say it

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Speaker 4: all the time, kids spelled love t im e dollars

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Speaker 4: of the currency of our economy. Connection is the currency

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Speaker 4: of our relationships. I walked out of her and thought,

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Speaker 4: I really hated spending. I think it was seventeen bucks

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Speaker 4: for two ice creams, Like I.

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Speaker 2: Just killed me. I was like, no, who does this?

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Speaker 4: And yet I reckon if it cost me seventeen b

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Speaker 4: a week to have an experience like that once a

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Speaker 4: week with each of the kids, I'd do it. I'd

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Speaker 4: have to work out a lot harder in the gym

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Speaker 4: to get over it, but I would do it. That's

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Speaker 4: such a small price to pay for such beautiful connection.

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Speaker 4: Don't need to have ice cream to make the connection,

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Speaker 4: but just a really beautiful experience made me grateful for

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Speaker 4: the kids, made me grateful to be a parent, and

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Speaker 4: I thought, yeap. Next week, I've got to make sure

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Speaker 4: that I do this with one of the other kids

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Speaker 4: as well.

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Speaker 2: It's special.

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Speaker 5: Maybe this time you might go and do something active

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Speaker 5: instead of scoffing down some ice cream.

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Speaker 2: Maybe we can do both. Let's find out about your

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Speaker 2: I'll do better Tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: Next, it's the Happy Famili's podcast for a happier family.

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Speaker 5: Try a Happy Families membership, because a happy family doesn't

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Speaker 5: just happen.

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Speaker 2: Details at happy families dot com dot au.

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Speaker 5: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for a time

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Speaker 5: poor parent who just wants answers now. And today we

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Speaker 5: are talking about reflections on our week.

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Speaker 3: I'll do better tomorrow.

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Speaker 4: How can we be better parents and learn from what's

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Speaker 4: happened this week so that we can do more of

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Speaker 4: the good st or less of the bad stuff. I've

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Speaker 4: shared mine, what's yours?

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Speaker 5: Look, it's no secret I am one of those parents

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Speaker 5: who often will just do everything myself because it's just easier.

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Speaker 5: I don't have to go back and repeat what the

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Speaker 5: kids have done because they haven't done a.

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Speaker 6: Good enough job right. And then I'm left feeling.

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Speaker 5: Frustrated because there's not enough hours in the day to

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Speaker 5: do it all, not even close. And so the other

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Speaker 5: day I was feeling a little bit swamped. It was

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Speaker 5: during school holidays, and there was a lot to do.

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Speaker 5: There's a lot of bodies in the house, and so

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Speaker 5: the house was just not up to scratch. But I

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Speaker 5: had an appointment that I had to go to, which

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Speaker 5: meant that the kids, if I left them to their

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Speaker 5: own devices, would literally be on devices. And so I

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Speaker 5: said to them, girls, today is a bit of a

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Speaker 5: cleaning up day, and unfortunately I have an appointment to

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Speaker 5: go to. But I've written a list of all the

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Speaker 5: things that need to be done, and I would just

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Speaker 5: love it if while I'm gone, you work on that list.

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Speaker 5: So I didn't hand out any assignments. There was just

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Speaker 5: a list to be done. I was actually really blown

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Speaker 5: away I came home. Not only was their absolute peace

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Speaker 5: in the house. I couldn't believe they were all engaged

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Speaker 5: in doing a job.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Wow, they were all engaged.

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Speaker 5: And when I asked our seven year old whether or

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Speaker 5: not she'd been helpful, fully expecting that she would have

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Speaker 5: just done her own thing, gone off and played in

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Speaker 5: the garden, she said, no, I've been helping Annie. So

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Speaker 5: Annie had been taking her around and actually helping her

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Speaker 5: do jobs as part of the process.

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Speaker 3: My list had gone.

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Speaker 5: They'd probably done about a third of the things off

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Speaker 5: the list, and I was just really proud of them.

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Speaker 4: So what's the take home message? Go out more and

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Speaker 4: leave the kids in charge? Is that what you're saying,

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Speaker 4: because that's a bit.

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Speaker 2: Of a one off. I don't remember that happening before.

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Speaker 5: No, it doesn't happen very often at all. What it

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Speaker 5: allowed me to reflect on is the fact that if

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Speaker 5: we don't give our children opportunities to surprise us, they

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Speaker 5: never will.

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Speaker 2: Ah beautiful.

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Speaker 4: And the other thing that I take from that is

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Speaker 4: that it does get easier for any parents who are

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Speaker 4: li and your parents have little kids and you're thinking,

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Speaker 4: oh my goodness, this is just driving me in, say

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Speaker 4: one of the kids to do anything. They actually start

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Speaker 4: to when you give them those opportunities, particularly as they

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Speaker 4: get older. We really hope that you've enjoyed the Happy

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Speaker 4: Families podcast. Before we wrap things up, a really important reminder.

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Speaker 4: This Sunday is Anzac Day, and it's a day that

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Speaker 4: matters because we get to remember the sacrifice of those

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Speaker 4: who have given their lives or given their lives in service,

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Speaker 4: even if they haven't died from their service, so that

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Speaker 4: we can live in the free, safe, prosperous country that

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Speaker 4: we enjoy.

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Speaker 6: You know, as I've got an older, Anzac Day has

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Speaker 6: become more meaningful as I've come to understand the sacrifice

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Speaker 6: that these men and women gave so that we could

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Speaker 6: have the freedoms that we experience.

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Speaker 3: And it never hit.

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Speaker 5: Me as hard as it did the year I lost

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Speaker 5: my grandfather. My grandfather was actually captured by the Japanese

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Speaker 5: and was in self isolation for three years during World

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Speaker 5: War Two, and as a result, he was left a

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Speaker 5: really wounded person. He never talked about the war Outside

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Speaker 5: of that, I don't know much about his experiences, but

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Speaker 5: I remembered going to that first Anzac parade following his

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Speaker 5: passing and just being so overwhelmed at all that he

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Speaker 5: had lost and as a result, I had lost, as

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Speaker 5: his granddaughter and not really knowing who he really was

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Speaker 5: because he just retreated into himself. And so Anzac has

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Speaker 5: become a really important part of my family story as

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Speaker 5: each year I reflect on the sacrifice that he gave specifically,

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Speaker 5: but I guess across the board.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and when you look at that sacrifice and the

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Speaker 4: cost that it took his life, but also your parents

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Speaker 4: and now you the way that those relationships have been affected,

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Speaker 4: and then you multiply that across every family, every individual

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Speaker 4: that's been affected by these terrible wars, it gives you

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Speaker 4: some sense of just how incalculable the cost of war is.

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Speaker 4: My favorite Anzac Day ever was twenty twenty during the

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Speaker 4: COVID lockdown. We walked to the botto of our driveway

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Speaker 4: with lit the candle. We listened to the last posts

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Speaker 4: as we watched up and down the street, other families

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Speaker 4: doing the same as the sun came up.

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Speaker 2: It was a really I would call it a sacred experience.

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Speaker 4: So we hope that this weekend you and your family

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Speaker 4: have the opportunity to remember them, lest we forget. The

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Speaker 4: Happy Family's podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media.

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Speaker 2: Craig Bruce is our executive producer.

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Speaker 4: If you'd like more information about how you can make

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Speaker 4: your family happier, you can find it at happy families

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Speaker 4: dot com dot au