Speaker 1: We both just wanted to do the intro. No, it's
Speaker 1: all yours you guy, No, you please? All right, Hey, guys,
Speaker 1: welcome to life uncut, Ask gun Cut. I'm Brittany and
Speaker 1: I'm Laura, and this is our short, sharp and jazzy
Speaker 1: little episode where we answer all of the questions that
Speaker 1: you have been sending. Actually that's a lie. We answer
Speaker 1: three of them, by all of them. We don't answer
Speaker 1: all of them. We go through them and we pick
Speaker 1: out three. So britt has picked out three doozies. But
Speaker 1: thank you to every single person who has written in
Speaker 1: a question for ask Guncut, and also to everyone who's
Speaker 1: been sending in their accidentally unfiltered. We love it.
Speaker 2: Did you notice we had a lot of messages this
Speaker 2: week in the dams end emails that were a little
Speaker 2: bit different. We had a lot of appreciation messages. It
Speaker 2: was strange like they all came at once, so a
Speaker 2: lot of people saying, hey, literally just want to say
Speaker 2: thank you.
Speaker 1: This might have been off the back of our last episode,
Speaker 1: which is all about like for your deep seated childhood trauma,
Speaker 1: which we really brought to this. How it bubbled up,
Speaker 1: didn't it? So I'm very glad that nobody listened to
Speaker 1: that episode, and then in retrospect was like, ah, my
Speaker 1: life is duck and I hate those girls we're talking
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: No, we had a really great response, So we're glad
Speaker 2: that a lot of you really got something from that episode.
Speaker 2: Because I actually really got something from that.
Speaker 1: I learn a lot. I also love that everyone has
Speaker 1: been if you haven't listened to the last episode we're
Speaker 1: talking about, we're talking about the episode it's all about
Speaker 1: attachment theory and attachment styles and how we bond to
Speaker 1: our partners and how we communicate with them. And we
Speaker 1: have had so many people write in because of it.
Speaker 1: But also then we've had a load of people sharing
Speaker 1: their results from the attachment test that you can do
Speaker 1: as well, which is so nice that people have felt
Speaker 1: brave enough and vulnerable enough to share. It's a big thing. Well,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't got my lashes done.
Speaker 2: And the lash lady was like, Okay, I love your podcasts,
Speaker 2: like I proper love it. And I was like amazing,
Speaker 2: and she's like, my favorite episode was Love Languages. This
Speaker 2: is just a few days ago. My favorite episode was
Speaker 2: Love Languages. And I said, do you know what so strange?
Speaker 2: It was unexpected, but that was one of our most
Speaker 2: popular episodes. Everybody really really loved it. And she said, yeah,
Speaker 2: I went home and made my husband do the quiz.
Speaker 2: And she goes, no, wonder we have fights. We didn't
Speaker 2: know anything about each other.
Speaker 1: She's like, so now we've learned about each other's attack.
Speaker 1: And she was actually saying it's changed. She says, changed
Speaker 1: their relationship, and I was so toughed. I was like,
Speaker 1: I just love that because I think it's easy for
Speaker 1: you and I to forget that so many people actually
Speaker 1: losen Oh my god, the amount of people who have
Speaker 1: come up and been like, I listen to your podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I swear way too much and I talk
Speaker 1: about way too many inappropriate things about my personal life
Speaker 1: and share it with the whole of Australia and whoever
Speaker 1: else listens to it from other countries too. I have
Speaker 1: a funny story to tell you where it's not just
Speaker 1: what happened just then, was it fit? So we just
Speaker 1: went to plug. We just went to plug the road
Speaker 1: caster in which like, if you've been listening into the studio, okay,
Speaker 1: if you guys have been listening to this podcast for
Speaker 1: a while, you would know that we have a really
Speaker 1: high tech studio which is actually just right next to
Speaker 1: my bed. So we're sitting on this little tiny table
Speaker 1: next to the bed and Britt goes to plug the
Speaker 1: podcast machine thinging in and there's this like contraption on
Speaker 1: charge next to my bed that I don't want to
Speaker 1: say anything. She just like moves very far away from it,
Speaker 1: doesn't want to touch it, and plugs it into the
Speaker 1: opposite plug. And I was like, what are you doing.
Speaker 1: She's like, I don't even want to know what that is.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna ask this.
Speaker 2: It looks exactly like this high like a high tech vibrator,
Speaker 2: That's what it looks.
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my god, she's forgot to
Speaker 1: put it away, and now I have to like pretend
Speaker 1: I haven't seen it. So I bought a micro current
Speaker 1: facial thing the other day online. I don't know too
Speaker 1: much time in isolation. I was like, I need to
Speaker 1: do something to my face. Bought a micro current facial
Speaker 1: that's what that is. I'm I'm all for it. I
Speaker 1: just didn't want to have to touch it to move it
Speaker 1: out of the way. That was my problem. This is
Speaker 1: so I.
Speaker 2: Mean, I hope you guys find this funny because I
Speaker 2: was washing myself. You may or may not have seen
Speaker 2: or heard that I'm single and I'm on Bumble and
Speaker 2: Brittany's face is currently on a whole lot of bus
Speaker 2: stops all over Sydney as well.
Speaker 1: If you're not from Sydney, you might not know this,
Speaker 1: but BRIT's currently the face of Bubble. You go get
Speaker 1: more single than being the pinup girl for it. Literally
Speaker 1: dead rest in peace of me.
Speaker 2: So I'm on all the bus stops and I put
Speaker 2: a video up on my Instagram that was I thought
Speaker 2: it was really great, and you know, I was taking
Speaker 2: a piece a little bit, the Bumble sign comes up
Speaker 2: and whatever. I put that on my Instagram and I'm
Speaker 2: in a group family chat. Everyone's in it. We're and
Speaker 2: it always goes nuts. Everyone who was always talking and
Speaker 2: my mom and dad are like, well, my whole family is.
Speaker 2: But mum and dad are like really really supportive of it.
Speaker 2: Anything I do on Instagram and they always, you know,
Speaker 2: if I put it like a post up where I'm
Speaker 2: like you could get a discount on the they always
Speaker 2: swipe up and like they do all the stuff, they
Speaker 2: click all the buttons and like no, they're supporting me
Speaker 2: driving the engagement. And I'd be like Mom, Mom and
Speaker 2: Dad because I don't tell them if I'm signing on
Speaker 2: with a brand or I just don't. I don't feel
Speaker 2: them in So when they see it, they're really interested
Speaker 2: and they're your biggest cheerleaders. But they're like what she
Speaker 2: doing now, Like I'll go and have a get these
Speaker 2: products whatever. So in my caption on my video on Instagram,
Speaker 2: I made a joke about Mom and Dad. I was like,
Speaker 2: Mom and Dad always told me to put myself out there.
Speaker 2: I hope this is what they mean, like, aka, my
Speaker 2: face is on a bus stop. I go into the
Speaker 2: group chat and I'm like, hey, guys, I was like,
Speaker 2: Mom and Dad, go check out my latest post, like
Speaker 2: you know as in So I just wanted them to
Speaker 2: go and have a look and have a little laugh. Anyway,
Speaker 2: the group chat's going and then Mom writes back, Oh,
Speaker 2: they're asking a lot of questions and I was like what,
Speaker 2: and she's like, oh, they want a birthday as well,
Speaker 2: and everyone just like there's six people in the group
Speaker 2: chat chatting, and then all of a sudden, Mom has
Speaker 2: no idea what she's doing. All of a sudden, she's
Speaker 2: legitimately signed up on Bumble. She's got a profile and Bubble.
Speaker 1: She doesn't know what it is, and she's actually Suan
Speaker 1: and I were dying. She's she's got a whole profile Bumble.
Speaker 1: She put aging, but she left the brackets open, so
Speaker 1: Dad was in there, going, Nicki's matching, swiping away with
Speaker 1: like twenty one year olds, like this is the best
Speaker 1: thing ever.
Speaker 2: We were dying, and mom starts losing it. She's like,
Speaker 2: I had no idea what I was doing. I just
Speaker 2: thought I was seeing what you were doing. And she
Speaker 2: ends up with a profile Bumble.
Speaker 1: She got a photo on there, and the imagine that
Speaker 1: your mom is like slightly technologically challenged and that she
Speaker 1: probably doesn't know how to delete the profile that she has. No,
Speaker 1: she doesn't. She's got a wildly active profile of Bumble.
Speaker 1: When we told her, she was just in hysterics and
Speaker 1: Dad She's like, oh my god, I don't know what
Speaker 1: I've done, and Dad's in They're going, sure, Nikki, she's
Speaker 1: pretending she doesn't know what she's done. She's gone on
Speaker 1: a day twenty one year olds. It's like, I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna go out with the girls tonight. But if those
Speaker 1: of you that don't know.
Speaker 2: My parents have been happ we married for forty three
Speaker 2: years now, so it's a bit of a joke.
Speaker 1: But that's why it's funny that mum's on Bumble. But
Speaker 1: then once we've all died of laughter, she's like, no, seriously,
Speaker 1: how do I delete it? She's like, I can't delete
Speaker 1: the profile. Just let it leave it there. She can
Speaker 1: veto everyone for you. Now, she's just set your age
Speaker 1: bracket to as wide and as far as it goes,
Speaker 1: she can be matching guys in Port mcory left run Centers.
Speaker 1: I was like, Mom, I appreciate your support, but you
Speaker 1: do not need to sign up to Bumble for me.
Speaker 1: We need to get this episode dialed, guys and in
Speaker 1: the can because Bachelor is going to start very very
Speaker 1: soon and we also need to watch that. So we
Speaker 1: have got three questions which we're going to answer for
Speaker 1: today's episode. Britt has chosen every single one of them.
Speaker 1: I'm excited. Britt hit me with the number one question,
Speaker 1: right ya. This is it not heavily sex questions, Laura.
Speaker 2: I'm just going to tell you this because I know
Speaker 2: you love the sex ones, but these are all just
Speaker 2: a little bit different.
Speaker 1: And I why do you I feel like accused right now?
Speaker 2: Well because sometimes I read sometimes I told Laura of
Speaker 2: the questions and she goes, where's the sex?
Speaker 1: Once living vicariously through you all like you literally say
Speaker 1: that is not dirty enough? Okay, all right, all right,
Speaker 1: Well so the g rated questions, it is half of
Speaker 1: our listeners. Just check out right now. Now. They're good.
Speaker 1: They're good. They're good.
Speaker 2: So my boyfriend of four years has befriended a girl
Speaker 2: on Instagram who lives in Canada.
Speaker 1: Now, this happened a little while ago.
Speaker 2: I'm not sure how they started this online friendship, but
Speaker 2: they started chatting a little bit and they just became friends.
Speaker 2: He's brought it up a couple of times, talking about
Speaker 2: what this girl said or you know, oh she said this,
Speaker 2: she's doing this. So it's not like he's hiding it.
Speaker 2: But when he brings it up, I see him to
Speaker 2: go straight to jealousy and suspicion, and I just don't
Speaker 2: engage as much in what he's saying. Then he'll stop
Speaker 2: talking and say what's wrong? Why are you going quiet?
Speaker 2: And make it like it's a big issue. But I
Speaker 2: never want to be that girl who says you can't
Speaker 2: talk to this person, you can't talk to whoever you want, Like,
Speaker 2: I don't want to be the controlling girlfriend. However, I've
Speaker 2: recently found out that he talks to her quite a lot.
Speaker 2: They did a twenty questions thing to get to know
Speaker 2: each other, lots of banter, and they now have each
Speaker 2: other snapchat and in his best friend's list with a nickname.
Speaker 2: I haven't seen any mention of my name all my
Speaker 2: existence in their text, even though he has assured me
Speaker 2: that she definitely knows of me. So I guess I
Speaker 2: just have to trust him on that. I don't know
Speaker 2: why it bothers me so much. He's very faithful and
Speaker 2: I know for sure he'd never cheat, but he has
Speaker 2: a history of not realizing. He's been a tad too
Speaker 2: flirty with girls. But this flirting was like two to
Speaker 2: three years ago. Am I overreacting? Can I say anything?
Speaker 2: Or should I just trust him and let him do
Speaker 2: whatever he wants to do even though it makes me uncomfortable?
Speaker 2: I think it is easy to answer.
Speaker 1: I think it's easy too, and not because like we're
Speaker 1: gonna say that you should be the controlling girlfriend, but
Speaker 1: anything that makes you feel uncomfortable that's your intuition telling
Speaker 1: you that something is wrong and it is odd. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say it, it's a bit bloody weird that your
Speaker 1: boyfriend of four years has become penpalas with some hot
Speaker 1: Chicken Canada. So if that makes you uncomfortable, which it
Speaker 1: would make me uncomfortable, I think that you are absolutely
Speaker 1: allowed to ask questions around how did they connect, Why
Speaker 1: does he feel the need and want to talk to
Speaker 1: her so often? Why do they have this close relationship
Speaker 1: when they haven't met and there needs to be some
Speaker 1: transparency there.
Speaker 2: I really agree with this. It's this is not a
Speaker 2: matter of being a controlling girlfriend at all. This does
Speaker 2: not make you controlling. I just want to say that.
Speaker 1: To start with, it is very I mean, Laurie is
Speaker 1: the word odd. I think that's a tame word. When
Speaker 1: there's smoke, there's fire, baby, That's all I'm gonna say.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's you've been with for four years. There, it
Speaker 2: shouldn't be a need for him to strike up a
Speaker 2: friendship with a hot chickenline that he's not met, that
Speaker 2: he probably isn't gonna met meet. There's in another country
Speaker 2: that he.
Speaker 1: Feels the need to do like a twenty question things
Speaker 1: with to to really uncover who they are as a person.
Speaker 1: Like I just think it's all very unnecessary. And if
Speaker 1: it makes you feel so uncomfortable and you're inner committed
Speaker 1: relationship where your happiness should be a priority, then he
Speaker 1: shouldn't be defensive when you bring up that this makes
Speaker 1: you uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: I think the other thing that I thought of in
Speaker 2: this is I was trying to think, Okay, what if
Speaker 2: my partner was making friends with someone and wanting to
Speaker 2: chat to someone.
Speaker 1: I think that's okay.
Speaker 2: When it's like he comes home and he's like, hey,
Speaker 2: this new chick started at work. We're all gonna grab
Speaker 2: a drinks or whatever.
Speaker 1: She's really cool.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I changed exchanged messages, but like sort of still
Speaker 2: work related. Like it's so fine to meet new people
Speaker 2: and want to get to know new people when they're
Speaker 2: into your life organically like that. This just seems like
Speaker 2: he's gone and sought out something. So I'm just wondering
Speaker 2: if he's missing something. He feels like he's missing something.
Speaker 2: I wonder if he's trying to make you feel guilty
Speaker 2: when you question him about it, and that's that's not cool,
Speaker 2: because after four years in a committed relationship, you are
Speaker 2: completely entitled to say that, Hey, you constantly talking to
Speaker 2: another girl that I don't know makes me feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: That is so okay to say. I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: imagine if Matt was to ever do that, Like if
Speaker 1: Matt just came home one day and was like, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm now twenty four to seven texting some other chick,
Speaker 1: like my spidy senses will be off the freaking radar.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'd be like, okay, well give me
Speaker 1: your phone. I'm not saying that going through someone's phone
Speaker 1: is a good idea. I think it's a terrible idea,
Speaker 1: And you never want to get to a point where
Speaker 1: you feel so insecure in a relationship that you feel
Speaker 1: like that's your only option, because it's almost like a
Speaker 1: drug going through someone's phone. You do it once and
Speaker 1: you think that's going to be it, but then you
Speaker 1: realize how easy it is, and then you'll continue to
Speaker 1: do it because you'll keep tabs on that person. I question, though,
Speaker 1: how did you know or how do you know that
Speaker 1: he hasn't really spoken about you in his messages unless
Speaker 1: you have already read them, or has he yeah, or
Speaker 1: has he just said I speak about you. Yeah that's
Speaker 1: not enough.
Speaker 2: Like he's like, yeah, she knows about you, but but
Speaker 2: this girl's never seen it. My other like huge red
Speaker 2: flag and we all know that I know everything about
Speaker 2: red flag. She's like, this one is the color brouge
Speaker 2: and this is what's wrong with her.
Speaker 1: This is plum plumb red. No, this one is okay.
Speaker 2: So you're talking on Instagram or Whatsapple, whatever you're talking on,
Speaker 2: it's always an alarm bell when you take a chat
Speaker 2: to a whole nother platform like Snapchat, it's unnecessary because
Speaker 2: you're already talking in other platforms. Snapchat is renowned for
Speaker 2: people being sneaky, for people sending inappropriate photos, for sexting,
Speaker 2: like and I'm not saying that's all it is, because
Speaker 2: it's not. But when you're already talking on these other platforms,
Speaker 2: why do you need to take it to this third
Speaker 2: platform that's sort of renowned for disappearing texts?
Speaker 1: Like it's a bit of an alarm for me. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: one hundred percent. I reckon that you've now that I
Speaker 1: feel like we've got this one in the bag. This question. Honestly,
Speaker 1: you are not abnormal for this making you feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: It would make any any check feel uncomfortable, and you
Speaker 1: can say you know that you completely trust him and
Speaker 1: that you know he would never cheat on you. However,
Speaker 1: emotionally cheating is the same thing. So whether it's physical
Speaker 1: cheating or it's you know, him getting his emotional connection
Speaker 1: and fixed from somebody else, and then they're both signs
Speaker 1: of being unfaithful. And I think that this really warrants
Speaker 1: a very open conversation about how uncomfortable it makes you feel,
Speaker 1: a level of transparency and if he respects you, which
Speaker 1: I'm assuming after four years of being in a relationship
Speaker 1: he should, and he prioritizes your relationship, he'll have no
Speaker 1: issue with being open and communicating exactly what's going on.
Speaker 1: He'll have no issue with showing you the messages if
Speaker 1: that makes you feel better, because you're not accusing him
Speaker 1: of anything, you're just explaining how uncomfortable it makes you feel,
Speaker 1: and your happiness, your security and that relationship should absolutely
Speaker 1: be priority.
Speaker 2: I would also maybe just ask him, be really open
Speaker 2: with him and ask what he's getting from that that
Speaker 2: he's not getting from you, Like why he feels the
Speaker 2: need to strike up this conversation, because maybe that's a
Speaker 2: conversation worth having. Maybe he feels and I'm just throwing.
Speaker 1: This out there, guys.
Speaker 2: Maybe he's like, Okay, I just don't feel like I
Speaker 2: was getting enough attention from you. I remember when I
Speaker 2: was in my relationship of a lot of eight years,
Speaker 2: the first one probably four or five, and we were
Speaker 2: so tight and strong and like I knew he would
Speaker 2: never cheat, but this happened, and he had struck up
Speaker 2: a conversation with a girl online.
Speaker 1: He never actually met her, but they were talking a lot.
Speaker 1: And then I didn't really know about it.
Speaker 2: I found out they were talking a lot, and I
Speaker 2: straight up said, like, what on earth is you don't
Speaker 2: just go and talk to another girl after four or
Speaker 2: five years, Like what.
Speaker 1: Are you doing?
Speaker 2: And he said it was just an innocent friendship and
Speaker 2: he'd stopped. Then I found out a few weeks later
Speaker 2: he didn't stop. He was still talking to her, and
Speaker 2: I got really really mad. I was like, this doesn't
Speaker 2: fucking fly, Like I let it go at the start,
Speaker 2: but now it feels like you're sneaking around. And he
Speaker 2: was really really open, and he said he was quite upset,
Speaker 2: and he said, I don't I think if I'm being honest.
Speaker 2: She was giving me attention and I didn't feel like
Speaker 2: I was getting it from you anymore. He's like, you're
Speaker 2: so busy at work, spark was dropping, you know, four
Speaker 2: or five years. It was just a bit monotonous. And
Speaker 2: he was really honest. And then I had a look
Speaker 2: at how I was and I thought, Okay, I probably
Speaker 2: have been ignoring you a little bit and not giving
Speaker 2: you enough attention.
Speaker 1: So there's something in that as well. Maybe have a
Speaker 1: lot get how you are with him at the moment,
Speaker 1: how you guys relationship is maybe he is just looking
Speaker 1: for someone to like stroke his ego. I totally agree
Speaker 1: with what you just said, Britt, but I'm going to
Speaker 1: just kind of like add to it a little bit
Speaker 1: as well, Like, there is no blame placed on you
Speaker 1: if somebody cheats or if somebody does the wrong thing,
Speaker 1: or somebody behaves in a way that is like outside
Speaker 1: of what you are happy and healthy with in your relationship.
Speaker 1: That is not a reflection of you at all. That
Speaker 1: it's not a reflection that you're you're guilty of not
Speaker 1: providing enough. He is responsible for communicating that something's lacking.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, and but we totally met halfway. He was like,
Speaker 2: I'm I said, I get that I've done that, but
Speaker 2: that is not an excuse for what you've done. And
Speaker 2: he said, I absolutely agree. Yeah, shouldn't have done it
Speaker 2: wrong thing. I'm just trying to say, one, I'm reflecting
Speaker 2: on my behavior. That's why I think I did it.
Speaker 2: So we It was a very adult conversation and we
Speaker 2: got there in the end, and no one was to blame.
Speaker 1: It was just that we should have bloody communicated. That's
Speaker 1: pretty much what we saying at the end of every
Speaker 1: question that comes up is that communication is key. Like
Speaker 1: that's what's going to sell everything in a relationship, being open,
Speaker 1: being honest, speaking about it vulnerably, and explaining how it
Speaker 1: makes you feel, and then giving him the opportunity to
Speaker 1: explain that back as well.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right. Question number two, Okay, this one's a
Speaker 2: weird one. Well, I think it's weird. I want to
Speaker 2: know what you think of it.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: Two of my close friends have already had kids and
Speaker 2: have used my favorite names that I had prepared for
Speaker 2: my children for the future.
Speaker 1: I have.
Speaker 2: Tried to think of other names, but I just can't.
Speaker 2: I just love these names too damn much. I told
Speaker 2: them at the time that I just loved the names
Speaker 2: that they'd called their kids, So they probably wouldn't be
Speaker 2: surprised if I did call my kids that name.
Speaker 1: Now, they'd be pretty surprised. What I want to know
Speaker 1: is is it okay to also name my baby the
Speaker 1: same name as they've named their babies.
Speaker 2: Should I ask them first? What do I do if
Speaker 2: they say no, that I can't use the name? Additionally,
Speaker 2: the names aren't unusual, That's what she said at the end. Additionally,
Speaker 2: the names aren't unusual, unique names. If that helps you
Speaker 2: in your decision making, This is such a good question.
Speaker 2: So I haven't like, oh, it's not a funny story.
Speaker 1: It's just a story. What happened when when I was
Speaker 1: pregnant with Marley, a girlfriend of mine. I obviously we
Speaker 1: didn't know if I was having a boy or a girl,
Speaker 1: so I kind of hadn't really chosen a boy's name.
Speaker 1: But I had a list, like a short list of
Speaker 1: four names that I really liked, and then I only
Speaker 1: had Marley for a girl. And one of my closest friends.
Speaker 1: She said to me, and I was like six months pregnant,
Speaker 1: she wasn't pregnant, like she was not even close to
Speaker 1: being pregnant yet, and she said to me, you can't
Speaker 1: name your baby Hugo. And I was like what, And
Speaker 1: she knew it was on my list and she was like,
Speaker 1: that's my name. Like that's weird. She wasn't even pregnant.
Speaker 1: She wasn't pregnant. And I was like, you can't bag
Speaker 1: the name before. It's not the way to get in first.
Speaker 1: Like well it is whoever gets it.
Speaker 2: No, but like no, whoever gets in first, if you're
Speaker 2: both pregnant, whoever has a baby first. But you can't
Speaker 2: just bags it for ten years time. I was like, babe,
Speaker 2: I'm going to beat you to the finish line on
Speaker 2: this one. There's baby's coming before your baby.
Speaker 1: But anyway, obviously Marley ended up being a girl, and
Speaker 1: since then, my girlfriend who actually one of the name Hugo,
Speaker 1: is having a baby, so so like you know, that
Speaker 1: sort of stuff all worked out in the wash. But
Speaker 1: I think people become pick like quite possessive and they
Speaker 1: feel very, very attached to baby names. And I think
Speaker 1: it depends on your friend, because for me, if you
Speaker 1: were going feel like, what if call it Marley May,
Speaker 1: it would be so fine. I would just think it
Speaker 1: was weird, like I wouldn't. It wouldn't change our friendship.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't think of you any differently, it wouldn't affect us.
Speaker 1: I would just think it was a weird thing to do,
Speaker 1: and I'd probably talk about it one hundred back exactly.
Speaker 1: But do you actually believe from the bottom of your heart,
Speaker 1: if I was like, meet my daughter Marley May, you
Speaker 1: would be okay. I would be okay with you as
Speaker 1: a person. I think the situation I would find very strange,
Speaker 1: but like, We're not gonna have a fight over the
Speaker 1: fact that you picked the same name. No, but you
Speaker 1: would go to your other friends and be like, can
Speaker 1: you fucking believe she called a kid Marley May? Like,
Speaker 1: So it would be you're not gonna like end the friendship,
Speaker 1: but you'd be like, what the actual far I'd be like,
Speaker 1: I think Brittany's obsessed with me? Yeah, Britty ALLAWSMI and
Speaker 1: she married a guy called Matt, so is we I'm
Speaker 1: going to assume that you're not pregnant yet, And this
Speaker 1: is just like a question for the future. When you
Speaker 1: are pregnant, maybe have an open conversation with your girlfriends
Speaker 1: and gauge the way that they feel about it, because
Speaker 1: if they are really genuinely like angry and they really
Speaker 1: don't want you to have the same name, then that's
Speaker 1: obviously something that you have to decide on and think
Speaker 1: about and everything else. But you've got plenty of time.
Speaker 1: There's so many names. There's millions of names out there.
Speaker 1: You can find another name, okay that you connect with this.
Speaker 2: This is what I think about this. When you say
Speaker 2: like there's millions of names, I'm sort of leaning towards
Speaker 2: that maybe you shouldn't call. I mean, if it's okay, look,
Speaker 2: if it's the Bill and end All and this is
Speaker 2: your favorite name in the world, and you cannot imagine
Speaker 2: your child not having this name, who cares? You might
Speaker 2: not be friends with these people in ten years and
Speaker 2: your child's going to have that name.
Speaker 1: Name it. But there are a lot of names in
Speaker 1: the world, And I feel like if my best friend
Speaker 1: called moly May, if.
Speaker 2: My best friend called their child the same as my child,
Speaker 2: it would I'd be lying if I didn't. If I
Speaker 2: wasn't thinking like, okay, what the hell like you you
Speaker 2: could have had five billion names and you picked my name,
Speaker 2: I would be a bit like, ah, like it's not
Speaker 2: gonna end the friendship, but I would think it was
Speaker 2: weird for sure, And I think that there are like
Speaker 2: you know, we were saying, it wouldn't end the friendship,
Speaker 2: but there's definitely other people out there who it would
Speaker 2: be a real wedge for them, and it would be
Speaker 2: something that they would find difficult to overcome because you know,
Speaker 2: it's very sentimental becoming a parent, having a child, naming them,
Speaker 2: that whole process is a very sentimental process for some
Speaker 2: people more than others. I think the other thing you
Speaker 2: need to ask yourself in this situation is do you
Speaker 2: have like an attachment to the name because it's significant
Speaker 2: to you because you know it's your grandma's name, or
Speaker 2: it's a family heritage name. Those things kind of negate
Speaker 2: the conversation, and I think that then it's totally acceptable.
Speaker 2: Like for us, May is a family name, so that
Speaker 2: was always going to be Maley's hyphenated slash middle name. However,
Speaker 2: Hugo means nothing to me from like a family perspective.
Speaker 2: There's no heritage. It's just something that I like. And
Speaker 2: you know what, I like the color blue. I also
Speaker 2: like the color green.
Speaker 1: Like I think that if it's just a name, that
Speaker 1: you like then for the sake of the fact that
Speaker 1: you you know your child can have a I just think,
Speaker 1: I just think for the sake of like they're not
Speaker 1: being any arguments or any like any like anxiety while
Speaker 1: you're pregnant, or any anxiety after you just had a baby,
Speaker 1: Like she is hard enough. You don't need to make
Speaker 1: your life harder by naming it the same name. I remember, same, same,
Speaker 1: bit different. I remember my dog not the same. No,
Speaker 1: it was not the same. It's not at no, not
Speaker 1: it's not my baby.
Speaker 2: But I had the dog that was She was a
Speaker 2: Border Collie, my best friend in the whole world. I
Speaker 2: took her everywhere with me and her name was Mia.
Speaker 2: And then I had a friend that got a dog.
Speaker 2: She called it Mia, and I remember saying to my
Speaker 2: other friends, why would she call it Miya? She knows
Speaker 2: my dog is Mia.
Speaker 1: Like I was so perplexed by that, and I thought
Speaker 1: I was and she's like, I was like, oh, you
Speaker 1: called it Mia, and she's like, yeah, love the name,
Speaker 1: and like your dog's so cute. And I remember being like.
Speaker 2: Dude, there's like twenty million names in the world, but
Speaker 2: like they didn't change anything.
Speaker 1: But I remember being like that was weird, Like you
Speaker 1: could have It's a little bit Stepford wives as well,
Speaker 1: especially if you spend loads of time with this, Like
Speaker 1: if it's your two best friends and you take both
Speaker 1: their names, they're kind of gonna come together and be
Speaker 1: like what the fuck? Yeah, like she did not just
Speaker 1: want of our names, both of their names. But okay,
Speaker 1: I think, like let's just wrap this up and come
Speaker 1: to a conclusion. It's weird, okay, question number three. Okay,
Speaker 1: my conclusion. My conclusion is no, it's not wrong.
Speaker 2: Yes you can do it, but if there's any other
Speaker 2: names that tickle your fancy, I'd go that way just
Speaker 2: for like ease, but like, yeah, one hundred percent, if
Speaker 2: it means something to you, go nuts, Like you can
Speaker 2: call your kid whatever you want. We're having to laugh
Speaker 2: about it, for sure, but there's there's nothing wrong if
Speaker 2: you want to do it, but just have the chat
Speaker 2: them too, Say hey, I bloody loved this name so
Speaker 2: much and I've loved it for a long time, you know, would.
Speaker 1: You be cool with it? Don't spring it on them, like,
Speaker 1: don't just like us say oh, I'm not going to
Speaker 1: tell you the name, and then after you've had the
Speaker 1: baby announce it exactly the same. I think like have
Speaker 1: a conversation. Obviously they are friends, but I do think
Speaker 1: you know, just as much as you have every right
Speaker 1: in the world to choose whatever name that you want to,
Speaker 1: they're also they also have a right to be a
Speaker 1: bit annoyed by it if you know, they feel like
Speaker 1: it's something that's has that you've been insensitive to their
Speaker 1: needs and wants. So like, you know, it's a it's
Speaker 1: a strange situation that may not go the way that
Speaker 1: you want, and during pregnancy, during childbirth, you probably don't
Speaker 1: want to add any more stress to your life. However
Speaker 1: you do your girlfriend Question three. Question three, I need
Speaker 1: some advice that I can't go to my friend's bomb. Recently,
Speaker 1: a really good guy friend of mine has brought up
Speaker 1: in conversation that he would like to date me and
Speaker 1: see how things go. But a bit of a backstory
Speaker 1: to this, I have kissed him in the past quite
Speaker 1: a few years ago, didn't really mean anything.
Speaker 2: Then, I also have a twin brother and he is
Speaker 2: my twin brother's closest friend.
Speaker 1: Also, one of my really good friends was.
Speaker 2: Dating him at the start of the year, so this
Speaker 2: is quite convoluted, massive, messy messy. My question is should
Speaker 2: I see how things go with him and date him
Speaker 2: or leave things as a friend basis as there are
Speaker 2: just too many people involved that could get hurt if
Speaker 2: things eventuated but didn't work out.
Speaker 1: Can I go first? If this was me? And like,
Speaker 1: this is totally subjective because I think you know there's
Speaker 1: really no right and wrong in this situation at all.
Speaker 1: But if this was me, unless I had this really
Speaker 1: strong attraction and urge to be with the guy, like
Speaker 1: really really really knew that I wanted this, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: be going there, Like, I think it's not worth the
Speaker 1: potential fallout for like some hangs and bangs. However, if
Speaker 1: you know that he's going to be cool, if you
Speaker 1: know that you're going to be cool, if you know
Speaker 1: that your brother's going to be cool, if you know
Speaker 1: that your friends gonna be cool, there's me no drama.
Speaker 1: Go for it.
Speaker 2: Do whatever you have to weigh up the pros and
Speaker 2: CON's girlfriend I want to know and I think you
Speaker 2: need to think about because we have discussed this before
Speaker 2: in other episodes, the sort of like no go friend zone.
Speaker 2: So how serious was the relationship with your with your
Speaker 2: closest friend and this guy.
Speaker 1: Do you mean they saw each other, like they went
Speaker 1: on a couple of dates, they hooked up one night,
Speaker 1: or were they seen each other for six months? And
Speaker 1: we're in love? Because she more in love than he
Speaker 1: was in love. Because even if he wasn't in love
Speaker 1: and she really really wanted to be with him, that
Speaker 1: could also just cause the real dramas.
Speaker 2: I think if they were anything remotely serious, I don't
Speaker 2: think you can go there, and I don't think it's
Speaker 2: worth going there because it is pretty convoluted.
Speaker 1: With your brother and your friend.
Speaker 2: But the brother things, not even the thing that is
Speaker 2: like a flag for me in this because I think
Speaker 2: that that's okay. A lot of people date their siblings'
Speaker 2: friends like fantastic, especially if it goes well. The flag
Speaker 2: for me here is that your friend dating him, And
Speaker 2: that's what I think you need to consider because that
Speaker 2: could be really, really detrimental to your friendship.
Speaker 1: And also, like Laura said, is this guy endgame? Do
Speaker 1: you think that this is like is this.
Speaker 2: Attraction so insane that like you can't stop thinking about him,
Speaker 2: and you know you.
Speaker 1: Need to explore it.
Speaker 2: If it is that intense, for sure, go and explore it.
Speaker 2: I don't think that you should fight something like that
Speaker 2: if you actually think that you could be soulmates and
Speaker 2: it could be something really really special. If you literally
Speaker 2: are like, oh, it's so like, just don't do it.
Speaker 1: If you do want to explore this and you want
Speaker 1: to kind of see where it goes, then have a
Speaker 1: conversation with your girlfriend first so that she doesn't feel
Speaker 1: like she's been blindsided by it. Like you can chat
Speaker 1: to her, say you've got feelings for him, Say you
Speaker 1: know it's not something you expected to happen, but you
Speaker 1: really want to kind of see what that means and
Speaker 1: gauge her response, and then you'll be able to gauge
Speaker 1: your feelings towards her response as well. So like, have
Speaker 1: some really open conversations, and then if you think you
Speaker 1: want to give it a crack, I can ride him
Speaker 1: into the sunset. Yeah, but there are a lot of
Speaker 1: ties here. There are there are, And I think you
Speaker 1: know one thing that we always say is don't bring
Speaker 1: drama into your life unnecessarily, Like, unless you know this
Speaker 1: guy's youre penguin, then like you just don't want to
Speaker 1: overcomplicate your life and make things messier than they need
Speaker 1: to be, especially the sacrifice of having a really great
Speaker 1: friend or losing a really great friend. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: totally agree with Britt. I don't think the brother's an
Speaker 1: issue in this, Like he blurred, He's going to be
Speaker 1: there regardless, even if you really screw this up. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't ask for his permission either. Yeah, just do it.
Speaker 1: Don't tell him. I kissed a few of my brother's
Speaker 1: friends in my time. Does your brother listen to the podcast?
Speaker 1: Nobody knows? I actually dated white.
Speaker 2: I kissed one and I end up dating him a
Speaker 2: little bit and it didn't go very well. My brother
Speaker 2: was like, this is too like my brother and him,
Speaker 2: his name was Adam. They had been best friends since
Speaker 2: they were.
Speaker 1: Like four years old, so he was.
Speaker 2: Almost and it didn't We didn't date for very long
Speaker 2: souse I was like, you sort of like my family,
Speaker 2: Like you've been in the family a long time, Like
Speaker 2: we ancestuous.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we had an attraction. We all hooked up and
Speaker 1: then we were like, yeah, like we have fun together.
Speaker 1: Why wouldn't we do this? And I remember we went
Speaker 1: to the movies once we kissed in the movies, and
Speaker 1: I was like, this is not right, like it was
Speaker 1: just sad. It was not right, so I called it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I've kissed like probably four of my brother's friends.
Speaker 1: So my sister and I are so close in age,
Speaker 1: we've got a three year age gap. She's older than me.
Speaker 1: But we have never like, we've never had any crossover.
Speaker 1: I remember there was this one time this guy hit
Speaker 1: on me and he was really hot. I was at
Speaker 1: a nightclub. Oh my god, I would have been like
Speaker 1: twenty two, so long ago, now like ten minutes, twelve
Speaker 1: years ago. Guy, don't think about that. So I was
Speaker 1: at a nightclub. This guy came up to me and
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, this is wow. And then I
Speaker 1: found out within half an hour of me schmoozing him
Speaker 1: and thinking it was going to go somewhere that he'd
Speaker 1: slept with my sister. And I was like, oh you like,
Speaker 1: I can't do it. Yeah, you're really harass. Like we
Speaker 1: could have been something this could have been. He could
Speaker 1: have been mad. Now we would have been married and
Speaker 1: had a baby, you know, and have a really messy bedroom.
Speaker 1: We could have had all those things.
Speaker 2: But of course there's not going to be crossover like that.
Speaker 2: I think if you had a brother, oh you do,
Speaker 2: I do have a.
Speaker 1: Brother, but my brother's also really young in comparison to me,
Speaker 1: Like if I was going for guys seven years younger
Speaker 1: than me, which you know, and no shame in that,
Speaker 1: but in there yeah yeah, BRIT's like, what are you
Speaker 1: talking about? They'll meet raffle. No, I was gonna say no.
Speaker 1: So my two brothers have two older brothers and they're
Speaker 1: only like two and three years older than me, which
Speaker 1: is like when you're growing up and you're a teenager,
Speaker 1: they're like the hot older guys that are two years
Speaker 1: older than you, like daddy, and all those guys date
Speaker 1: the girls two young years younger like it. They were
Speaker 1: always at my house drinking. It was who needs bumble
Speaker 1: or tinder when you can just have your brother bring
Speaker 1: his friends around the house. Yeah, well not not these days.
Speaker 1: That's why I go back for the twenty five year old.
Speaker 1: All right, guys, well that is asked for this episode.
Speaker 1: It is short, it is sharp, it is our ask uncut.
Speaker 1: We will have another one for you next week. Come
Speaker 1: back with the sexy questions. I'm here for them. I'll
Speaker 1: bring you some sexy questions, some sexy ones next week.
Speaker 1: Well only if the people bring us this questions. Well,
Speaker 1: there you go, so bring them pressures on. If you
Speaker 1: haven't accidentally unfiltered for us, then send it through. Also,
Speaker 1: if you haven't joined the Facebook group yet, get on that.
Speaker 1: It's Life un Cut podcast and you can get in
Speaker 1: on the Batchy chat thread which is happening there. It's
Speaker 1: going to be happening there tonight, being that this is
Speaker 1: Thursday and there's going to be another episode, So join
Speaker 1: in the conversation. And you know the drill.
Speaker 2: Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell
Speaker 2: your friends, tell your neighbor, tell your brother, to your sister,
Speaker 2: and share the love.
Speaker 1: That was a lot of telling. You go on, spread
Speaker 1: the word because we love love. The members