WEBVTT - TEACH US CONSENT! Uncut with Chanel Contos 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:05.280 Life Uncut podcasts acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout 0:00:05.320 --> 0:00:09.120 Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We 0:00:09.160 --> 0:00:11.920 pay our respect to their elders past and present and 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:15.360 extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait islander 0:00:15.360 --> 0:00:16.120 peoples today. 0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:19.599 This episode is recorded on Gaddigal Land of the Urora Nation. 0:00:39.080 --> 0:00:42.280 Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. 0:00:42.360 --> 0:00:45.239 I'm Laura and I'm Brittany, and we are not recording 0:00:45.240 --> 0:00:46.800 the start of this episode, which is a good thing 0:00:46.800 --> 0:00:48.159 because Britt's sitting here in Mahattan. 0:00:48.240 --> 0:00:49.560 I have not showered today. 0:00:49.680 --> 0:00:52.760 And by not recording, you mean we're not video recording. 0:00:53.880 --> 0:00:56.160 Recording this. Yeah, I hit record. We're not video recording 0:00:56.200 --> 0:00:57.960 the start of the episode. No, and you know what, 0:00:58.040 --> 0:00:58.639 I love it. 0:00:58.720 --> 0:01:00.840 We went, as you guys know, we had a couple 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:03.720 of years where we didn't really do the videos because 0:01:03.760 --> 0:01:05.119 we were chaos at. 0:01:05.080 --> 0:01:05.680 Hard time time. 0:01:05.760 --> 0:01:07.720 I had like a baby hanging off my boob and 0:01:07.840 --> 0:01:10.399 that was just we were not in a place to record. 0:01:10.440 --> 0:01:11.399 It was midnight, it. 0:01:11.319 --> 0:01:11.960 Was six am. 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:17.120 Mentally or physically, metaphorically, literally spiritually, we could not video 0:01:17.200 --> 0:01:20.000 record this. But now we have started this year to 0:01:20.120 --> 0:01:22.200 finally we're in a place where we can record. So 0:01:22.319 --> 0:01:25.240 we've started to make ourselves slightly more presentable. But on 0:01:25.280 --> 0:01:28.039 the off days that we don't, we rejoice because we 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:29.959 cannot worry about what we look like again, we can 0:01:30.040 --> 0:01:33.320 be a little bit crazy. And yes, Laura is laughing 0:01:33.360 --> 0:01:35.720 at me because I have a hat on inside. 0:01:35.760 --> 0:01:37.320 It's cute. It's New Balance. 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:38.920 It's cute I am wearing inside. 0:01:39.080 --> 0:01:40.640 Not sponsored by New Balances. 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:43.000 Not sponsored, could be actually might be coming up if 0:01:43.000 --> 0:01:45.120 you're out there New Balance. I wear a New Balance 0:01:45.160 --> 0:01:47.000 to death. Probably the Jordan was sponsored by it, so 0:01:47.040 --> 0:01:49.200 I used to I got on that team. Okay, too soon? 0:01:49.200 --> 0:01:50.000 Not talking about Jordan. 0:01:50.120 --> 0:01:54.320 Oh no, Ip, the man that we never talk about anymore. 0:01:54.360 --> 0:01:54.760 Did you know? 0:01:54.800 --> 0:01:56.800 I was at the dog park yesterday in this hat 0:01:57.040 --> 0:01:59.640 and someone that I have seen a bit lately. At 0:01:59.640 --> 0:02:02.920 the dog par like, you learn the same the same 0:02:02.920 --> 0:02:05.080 people there, so you learn maybe dogs you make friends 0:02:05.080 --> 0:02:07.720 in the dot dogs names more than you know the owners. 0:02:07.720 --> 0:02:09.480 It's just how it works a dog. It's exactly the 0:02:09.480 --> 0:02:11.320 same with the kids from daycare. I know all the 0:02:11.400 --> 0:02:12.919 kids from daycare's names. 0:02:12.919 --> 0:02:13.520 Not their parents. 0:02:13.560 --> 0:02:14.320 Don't know their parents. 0:02:14.480 --> 0:02:16.480 And then this guy was sitting there and I looked 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:18.160 at him and I recognized him, and I was like hey, 0:02:18.360 --> 0:02:20.280 and he looked at me. And I had my hair 0:02:20.320 --> 0:02:21.880 like up in a bun, you couldn't really see it. 0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:23.760 And I had my new balanced hat on over the top. 0:02:23.760 --> 0:02:25.320 I had a fanny pack and everything I wear a 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:25.799 fanny pack. 0:02:25.880 --> 0:02:28.560 Now, who goes all my dark has really spiraled out 0:02:28.600 --> 0:02:30.360 of control for Brittney over the last couple of weeks. 0:02:30.400 --> 0:02:31.880 Most people get a glow up in a break up. 0:02:31.919 --> 0:02:33.079 I start wearing a fanny pack. 0:02:33.560 --> 0:02:35.520 I've seen your first trap, Sabe. Don't worry. You've had 0:02:35.520 --> 0:02:39.440 a glow up. It's fake. I'm putting my best foot 0:02:39.480 --> 0:02:41.320 forward on social media. Look at me right now? Why 0:02:41.320 --> 0:02:43.200 am I like, put your shirt down? 0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:45.520 I'm so glad we're not filming this. And this is 0:02:45.560 --> 0:02:48.040 partly why it took us so long to get cameras 0:02:48.080 --> 0:02:50.600 and actually do this. Probably britt just out of nowhere, 0:02:50.680 --> 0:02:53.880 just lifted her entire shirt up above her boobs and 0:02:53.919 --> 0:02:55.919 then sat there holding her boobs. I know that we're 0:02:56.000 --> 0:02:59.000 really good friends, but also imagine if we did this, 0:02:59.360 --> 0:03:01.359 recorded this in like a RN's off and you just 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:03.040 sat in a studio holding onto your titties. 0:03:03.160 --> 0:03:04.079 But we're in my. 0:03:04.040 --> 0:03:06.640 Home and it's comfort. Anyway. 0:03:06.680 --> 0:03:08.240 He looked at me, and he looked at me strangely, 0:03:08.280 --> 0:03:10.280 and I was like, it's me and he's like, oh, 0:03:10.360 --> 0:03:11.639 I didn't notice you under there. 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:13.280 You look like a soccer mom. 0:03:13.760 --> 0:03:15.320 And I was like, I'm so offended. 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:16.280 What do you mean. 0:03:16.360 --> 0:03:18.440 He's like, oh, I just haven't seen you quiet looking 0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:20.680 like this, and I'm like, I don't know, just stop 0:03:20.720 --> 0:03:22.440 digging your hole, Like what's wrong with what I'm wearing. 0:03:22.480 --> 0:03:24.400 He's like, I'm sorry. He's like, nothing's wrong with what 0:03:24.440 --> 0:03:26.360 you're wearing. But he's like, I just don't feel like 0:03:26.360 --> 0:03:27.440 you look like your potential. 0:03:29.440 --> 0:03:32.400 I feel on behalf of all the moms out there 0:03:32.440 --> 0:03:35.080 who just like literally get by on life and leave 0:03:35.120 --> 0:03:37.800 the house. I feel sorry for us, and I feel 0:03:37.840 --> 0:03:38.760 personally victimized. 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:40.880 I said to him, I said this, I'm living my 0:03:40.920 --> 0:03:41.360 best life. 0:03:41.400 --> 0:03:42.760 This is the most comfortable I've ever been. Do you 0:03:42.760 --> 0:03:44.680 know how practical a phanic pack in a hat is? 0:03:45.120 --> 0:03:47.680 Yes, I do, I absolutely do, And I think that 0:03:47.880 --> 0:03:48.480 I feel offended. 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:50.760 Anyway, look great, Thank you. What have you been up 0:03:50.800 --> 0:03:51.480 to guys? 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:53.520 I went to Brisbane over the weekend. I know if 0:03:53.520 --> 0:03:55.640 any of you following my socials, you would be aware 0:03:56.040 --> 0:03:59.280 there was a telethon happening which was it was basically 0:03:59.400 --> 0:04:01.920 Channel ten, that Channel nine and Channel seven, all the 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:06.160 major networks came together, put their differences aside and raised 0:04:06.160 --> 0:04:08.200 money for the floods, raise money for Red Cross. 0:04:08.320 --> 0:04:08.720 Love that. 0:04:08.840 --> 0:04:09.080 Now. 0:04:09.480 --> 0:04:11.680 I don't know if you guys know this, but Channel ten, 0:04:11.760 --> 0:04:14.200 Channel nine and Channel seven actually hate each other, like 0:04:14.280 --> 0:04:17.320 they never do anything together. They're always in competition with 0:04:17.400 --> 0:04:17.760 each other. 0:04:17.920 --> 0:04:19.880 Well they are indirect competition, so I don't know if 0:04:19.880 --> 0:04:21.800 it's hate hate, but it's like we're not going to 0:04:21.880 --> 0:04:23.480 go for a drink after work, We're not going to 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:23.960 buddy up. 0:04:24.000 --> 0:04:24.520 Absolutely not. 0:04:24.560 --> 0:04:27.640 And also if you're like deemed Channel ten talent, you're 0:04:27.680 --> 0:04:29.480 like not allowed to go on Channel nine. If your 0:04:29.560 --> 0:04:31.839 Channel nine talent, you're not allowed to go on Channel seven. 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:33.800 This Channel ten talent, I'm not even allowed to ChIL 0:04:33.880 --> 0:04:38.480 ten were apparently a Channel ten talent, but they never 0:04:38.480 --> 0:04:41.320 put us on. But basically there's this real like internal 0:04:41.440 --> 0:04:44.279 rivalry between the networks, and because of the floods and 0:04:44.320 --> 0:04:46.840 wanting to raise money, they put their differences aside. They 0:04:46.880 --> 0:04:49.000 got all of the different talent together and they did 0:04:49.000 --> 0:04:51.080 this fun raising drive. I mean, like Matt and I 0:04:51.120 --> 0:04:53.000 didn't make the cut for Sydney. We got shipped out 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:55.599 to Brisbane officers, but we basically flew into Brisbane for 0:04:55.640 --> 0:04:58.120 the day. Then we went to the Red Cross call 0:04:58.160 --> 0:05:00.599 center there and there was there was like heaps of 0:05:00.600 --> 0:05:03.159 people from Maths, there was heaps of people from Master Chef. 0:05:03.240 --> 0:05:05.400 Like it was a really fun little crew, a lot 0:05:05.400 --> 0:05:06.120 of reality TV. 0:05:06.400 --> 0:05:06.839 It was all. 0:05:06.880 --> 0:05:09.800 It was like Brisbane was the reality TV office. And 0:05:09.960 --> 0:05:13.239 at Sandra Sully was there, Matt got like weirdly nervous 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:16.279 around Sandra Sully. He was like, she's amazing. Maybe she's 0:05:16.320 --> 0:05:18.839 his hall pass. I think she might be cute, and 0:05:18.880 --> 0:05:20.480 I'm not even mad about it. She's pretty great. 0:05:20.640 --> 0:05:21.800 She's a boss. She's a boss. 0:05:21.839 --> 0:05:25.120 So yeah, Basically I spent my Saturday night on the phones, 0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:28.880 like answering phone calls and taking money from incredible people 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:30.920 who rang up to donate. There were people who were 0:05:30.920 --> 0:05:33.760 donating like twenty thousand dollars twenty five thousand dollars pop. 0:05:34.040 --> 0:05:35.800 I'm sure some of them were businesses. 0:05:35.480 --> 0:05:37.440 But what are these people? Even? 0:05:37.480 --> 0:05:39.480 I had this one little lady ring up and her 0:05:39.560 --> 0:05:42.320 name was Susan and she was like, dear, I'd like 0:05:42.360 --> 0:05:45.080 to donate two hundred dollars and that was all of 0:05:45.120 --> 0:05:47.160 her pension that she had left over for the week, and. 0:05:47.120 --> 0:05:49.120 She's got goosebumps. I'd like stop it. 0:05:49.320 --> 0:05:53.840 People were incredibly generous and they raised like twenty five 0:05:54.000 --> 0:05:56.120 million dollars to go towards the flood victims. 0:05:56.160 --> 0:05:57.960 It was an incredible It was incredible. 0:05:58.040 --> 0:06:00.719 What was raised was I knew because I was watching. 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:03.159 I wasn't invited as any talent, but I was watching 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:04.080 from the sidelines. 0:06:04.680 --> 0:06:06.560 It's still it's like a little bit dirty that she 0:06:06.560 --> 0:06:07.719 didn't get to go on to it. 0:06:07.800 --> 0:06:10.320 I actually feel like you missed an opportunity. I could 0:06:10.320 --> 0:06:13.000 have raised so much money for you guys. But I 0:06:13.880 --> 0:06:16.280 was watching from the sidelines, and I just I knew 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:17.680 would make a lot of money. And I say we 0:06:17.760 --> 0:06:20.320 as a country. I knew Australia has a really really 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:22.760 great way of pulling through as a community in these times. 0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:26.040 We saw it in the bushfires, We've seen it multiple times. 0:06:26.440 --> 0:06:27.680 I knew it was going to be a lot of money. 0:06:27.720 --> 0:06:29.640 I picked my drop off the ground when I saw 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:31.919 the number when I saw it was over twenty five 0:06:32.160 --> 0:06:35.719 million dollars in one night, and I know there'd be 0:06:35.760 --> 0:06:37.440 a couple of big spenders in there. There'd be a 0:06:37.480 --> 0:06:40.080 couple of businesses that dropped some big money, a couple 0:06:40.160 --> 0:06:42.400 of businesses that drop some money to see Matt wear address. 0:06:42.400 --> 0:06:44.640 We'll get into that in a second, but I was 0:06:44.839 --> 0:06:47.840 just so it's these moments that makes me so proud 0:06:47.960 --> 0:06:50.400 to being like. I was so proud, I shared on 0:06:50.480 --> 0:06:52.320 my socials. I was just like, fuck, yes, I in 0:06:52.400 --> 0:06:55.479 this moment. I love Australia so much, and I know 0:06:55.600 --> 0:06:57.159 that we have things to say about the government, but 0:06:57.279 --> 0:06:59.719 as a community, as a people, we are rock solid 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:01.400 and it makes me very emotional. You know. 0:07:01.480 --> 0:07:03.279 It's interesting that you say that, because at the beginning 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:05.279 of the night, I was thinking, maybe we'll make ten 0:07:05.279 --> 0:07:07.360 million dollars, Like maybe we'll raise ten million. I thought 0:07:07.400 --> 0:07:10.920 that would be just an astronomical achievement. But I think 0:07:11.680 --> 0:07:14.480 the reason why I wasn't expecting the amount of money 0:07:14.480 --> 0:07:16.600 to be so high is because I do feel like 0:07:16.640 --> 0:07:18.920 people have real fatigue at the moment, like almost like 0:07:19.000 --> 0:07:22.280 charity or empathy fatigue. There's been so many bad things 0:07:22.280 --> 0:07:25.920 that have happened, and it's happened just like unrelenting. It's 0:07:25.960 --> 0:07:29.080 one bad thing after another bad thing. And so every 0:07:29.160 --> 0:07:32.400 day you see there's a GoFundMe page or there's something 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:36.080 that's happening where somebody's life has been disastrously affected. 0:07:36.280 --> 0:07:38.560 That is a real thing, this fatigue, and because the 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:40.160 world is a shift fire at the moment. 0:07:40.240 --> 0:07:42.360 Well, Santa Sally actually she put it so well into 0:07:42.360 --> 0:07:43.960 words when we were speaking, and she was like, you know, 0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:47.960 people get empathy fatigue. They become desensitized to the plight 0:07:48.040 --> 0:07:50.320 and the need of people, purely because we're seeing so 0:07:50.520 --> 0:07:53.400 much of it and it's unending. But it was just 0:07:53.480 --> 0:07:56.640 such an incredible night. And obviously live TV is always 0:07:56.680 --> 0:07:59.240 a little bit rogue and a little bit silly, and 0:07:59.720 --> 0:08:01.600 Matt ended up wearing a dress which he would have 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:03.120 done for free, but he did it because we've got 0:08:03.160 --> 0:08:04.680 someone who donated five thousand dollars. 0:08:04.800 --> 0:08:07.000 He done it for free. Home all the time. He 0:08:07.160 --> 0:08:08.080 wore my. 0:08:08.000 --> 0:08:10.440 Beautiful floor dress on National TV. So that was a 0:08:10.480 --> 0:08:11.600 real moment in the night. 0:08:11.880 --> 0:08:13.880 I thought he looked amazing, he looked very pretty. 0:08:14.160 --> 0:08:15.720 But yeah, that was it. That was We went. 0:08:15.960 --> 0:08:17.280 So we went to Brisbane, and we got to be 0:08:17.320 --> 0:08:20.520 a part of this incredible fundraiser and Brittany ended up 0:08:20.520 --> 0:08:22.680 back on Hinge. It's been a successful weekend all round. 0:08:22.840 --> 0:08:25.200 Well, I wouldn't say successful for everyone. No, it's definitely. 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:27.040 It's definitely been successful for you. 0:08:27.280 --> 0:08:30.640 Tell us what getting back on the dating apps is, like, 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:32.920 britt I went, I mean. 0:08:32.840 --> 0:08:33.880 I'm not back on there yet. 0:08:33.920 --> 0:08:37.800 So, uh, Keisha and I were at my house last 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:40.360 night quite late after doing some work and we're like, oh, 0:08:40.400 --> 0:08:42.760 let's just grab some dinner. And she was talking about 0:08:42.800 --> 0:08:44.280 her dating life and I was like, fuck, should I 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:45.840 get back on there? And I was like, why not. 0:08:45.920 --> 0:08:48.280 I'll just put a profile. See what happens. So I 0:08:48.320 --> 0:08:50.079 haven't talked to anyone or met anyone, but it was 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:52.640 you haven't set the profile live, but you've curated it. 0:08:52.640 --> 0:08:55.480 It's like, oh, well live people, you're there. People can 0:08:55.520 --> 0:08:57.760 screenshot this now daily Mail. Brittany is back on the 0:08:57.840 --> 0:08:58.440 dating app, but. 0:08:58.480 --> 0:09:01.240 People were screenshot it. I was like, is my dating 0:09:01.320 --> 0:09:02.240 life really that interesting? 0:09:02.600 --> 0:09:05.760 But the whole podcast is about it so funny. I 0:09:05.800 --> 0:09:07.040 was like, fuck you, Hinge. 0:09:07.280 --> 0:09:08.800 I was setting up the profile and it's been so 0:09:08.840 --> 0:09:10.800 long since I've been on a Hinge profile because even 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:13.080 before there was a while there, before I even met Jordan, 0:09:13.280 --> 0:09:15.760 that I wasn't really on a dating side anymore because 0:09:15.760 --> 0:09:17.480 I had dating fatigue. I was only on rail where 0:09:17.520 --> 0:09:19.760 I met Jordan, and that profile had been SAP a 0:09:19.760 --> 0:09:21.240 long time ago, so I forgot what it was like 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:22.199 to set a profile up. 0:09:22.520 --> 0:09:23.920 I was setting the Hinden profile up. 0:09:24.160 --> 0:09:26.440 Oh my god, it asks you so many detailers wanted 0:09:26.559 --> 0:09:27.880 to know the last time I had a pooh, Like, 0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:29.600 every single thing about my life I had to put 0:09:29.600 --> 0:09:32.200 into this thing. And then it's like, put your age in, 0:09:32.280 --> 0:09:34.080 put your birthday in, so it logged your age. So 0:09:34.120 --> 0:09:35.880 I put my birthday in, and then it came up 0:09:35.920 --> 0:09:38.120 with a message that was like, just so you know, 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:39.679 you can't change this, and I was. 0:09:39.640 --> 0:09:41.920 Like, fuck you, Hinge. I'm thirty four. I know I 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:42.640 can't change this. 0:09:43.320 --> 0:09:44.360 You don't have to remind me. 0:09:44.920 --> 0:09:46.720 Why do you think that your age is such a 0:09:46.720 --> 0:09:48.200 bad thing. I don't. 0:09:48.280 --> 0:09:50.960 I just think it's hilarious that every single piece of 0:09:50.960 --> 0:09:52.280 your information needs to go on. And I just thought 0:09:52.280 --> 0:09:54.080 it was more hilarious that it was sending me a message. 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:56.400 I reminded being you can't change your age obviously it 0:09:56.480 --> 0:09:59.319 meant like the data, but I just was having a 0:09:59.320 --> 0:10:01.920 little hissyf like you can't change your age in life, 0:10:01.920 --> 0:10:03.640 and I was like, I'm very well aware of that. 0:10:04.600 --> 0:10:06.120 But I got back on Hinge. It was a little 0:10:06.160 --> 0:10:08.280 bit I'm not gonna lie. I did about ten minutes 0:10:08.320 --> 0:10:10.240 of swiping. It was a bit soul crushing. I felt 0:10:10.240 --> 0:10:11.960 a bit defeated. I was like, I can't live I'm 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:14.080 back in this dating world, only because the first ten 0:10:14.120 --> 0:10:17.680 minutes there was just nobody that was of interest to me. 0:10:17.920 --> 0:10:20.319 It's always pretty jarring getting back into the dating world 0:10:20.400 --> 0:10:22.920 after being like coming out of a breakup, coming out 0:10:22.920 --> 0:10:28.640 of relationship, and then that first initial swipe where you're like, fuck, oh, 0:10:28.880 --> 0:10:29.400 I were back. 0:10:29.600 --> 0:10:31.079 I can't imagine I'm gonna be on it for very long. 0:10:31.240 --> 0:10:34.000 I'm hoping it happens organically. I hope, I mean someone organically, 0:10:34.040 --> 0:10:36.120 or they slide into my dms. Now, I have always 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:37.840 told you guys that people don't slide into my dams, 0:10:37.840 --> 0:10:41.360 and I'm not exaggerating. They just don't. It does not happen. 0:10:41.400 --> 0:10:43.880 People do not slain too my dams. But last week 0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:46.000 I did say that there were I think two or 0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:48.400 three people over a week period. That did the most 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:51.400 ever one of them. I started to engage in conversation 0:10:51.480 --> 0:10:54.959 with He has a bit of a profile, but that's irrelevant. 0:10:55.000 --> 0:10:56.959 But I sort of famous, is what she's trying to say. 0:10:57.040 --> 0:10:58.920 I google him, I mean, like I did. I didn't 0:10:58.960 --> 0:11:00.439 know him, but he was Yeah, So I did my 0:11:00.520 --> 0:11:02.320 due diligence and I looked it up a little bit. 0:11:02.360 --> 0:11:05.120 And can we play like a game of charade? Can 0:11:05.120 --> 0:11:07.079 you give me a couple of clues and. 0:11:07.000 --> 0:11:08.160 We try and guess who this guy is? 0:11:08.480 --> 0:11:10.880 This is what happened, right, is a sports person? Yes, 0:11:11.559 --> 0:11:12.600 Michael Clark, We're not. 0:11:13.920 --> 0:11:16.760 No, Clark is a Friend's here we go. He's a 0:11:16.840 --> 0:11:18.640 nice guy. Clik is great. 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:21.079 So no, so we're. 0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:23.560 I was like, you know what, let's engage. Let's engage 0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:26.640 in conversation. Within two days, we're having a fight. We're 0:11:26.679 --> 0:11:30.560 having an Instagram DM fight because I don't know if 0:11:30.559 --> 0:11:33.040 I'm hyper sensitive. He told me that long story, Shorty 0:11:33.040 --> 0:11:36.760 told me that I wasn't capable of building or if 0:11:36.760 --> 0:11:38.200 you follow me an Instagram, you guys see that I'm 0:11:38.200 --> 0:11:39.920 doing a lot of do it yourselves. You know, I 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:42.679 live alone. I build stuff alone. That's what happens from 0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:45.640 now on, I'm going to pay more sort arrives built. 0:11:45.760 --> 0:11:46.760 I make flat pack. 0:11:46.640 --> 0:11:48.360 In your spare type. You're a flat packer. 0:11:48.880 --> 0:11:50.959 I am a flat packer. Yeah, not very good one, 0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:53.120 but I'm doing it. And he made a comment that 0:11:53.360 --> 0:11:55.960 I'm not capable to do it alone. And I don't 0:11:55.960 --> 0:11:59.080 know if I'm hyper sensitive right now, because my biggest 0:11:59.120 --> 0:12:01.200 tick in life is somebody telling me that I'm not 0:12:01.240 --> 0:12:05.760 capable of doing something, or that I have had excessive 0:12:05.840 --> 0:12:08.320 help somewhere along the way, like this is what this 0:12:08.360 --> 0:12:10.000 is what I hate from people in life. And I 0:12:10.040 --> 0:12:12.000 don't know if I'm like highly emotional, but I just 0:12:12.080 --> 0:12:13.720 arked up. He's like, you can't do that on your own, 0:12:13.840 --> 0:12:15.400 and I just lost it and we ended up having 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:16.719 a fight on a DM. But I've never met the 0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:18.600 guy having a full and fight. And he was so 0:12:18.600 --> 0:12:20.920 passive aggressive back to me, Do. 0:12:20.880 --> 0:12:22.480 You think he was doing it in the hopes that 0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:24.760 you would invite him around to help you make this 0:12:24.800 --> 0:12:25.600 piece of furniture. 0:12:25.720 --> 0:12:27.880 Well, I gave him the benefit of the doubt, right, 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:31.400 So I thought that I got a bit defensive, informed him, 0:12:31.559 --> 0:12:33.959 made sure he knew how capable I was, So I 0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:35.840 was like, you obviously know nothing about me. So I 0:12:35.880 --> 0:12:38.079 feeled him in on you know, I was like, well, actually, 0:12:38.080 --> 0:12:40.160 I'm very capable. I've done this, this and this and this. 0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:42.800 I've lived in old countries alone, like, trust me, I 0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:44.839 can build my own furniture. And then so I gave 0:12:44.880 --> 0:12:46.560 him the benefit of the doubt and I was like, 0:12:47.200 --> 0:12:49.959 maybe he's looking for an inn. So I said, well, 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:52.079 you're more than welcome if you don't think I can 0:12:52.120 --> 0:12:53.960 do it, even though I know I can. You're more 0:12:54.000 --> 0:12:55.680 than welcome to come do it for me or help me. 0:12:56.080 --> 0:12:58.520 And he wrote back and said, oh, no, you've made 0:12:58.559 --> 0:13:01.320 it very clear. How in quote you've made very clear 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:03.400 how independent you are. I think you. I think you'll 0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:04.680 be fine on your own something like that, and then 0:13:04.720 --> 0:13:06.160 I lost it again. Then we had a full on fight. 0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:08.680 And then that's my experience with anyone sliding into my DMS. 0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:09.560 It's not positive. 0:13:09.640 --> 0:13:11.520 And the funniest part of this is that Britty end 0:13:11.559 --> 0:13:13.280 up calling Produce Akisha to come over and help her 0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:13.839 make the fly pack. 0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:15.480 Now this is a second flap pack. This hasn't been 0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:18.240 built yet, this is my second one. And I was like, look, 0:13:18.440 --> 0:13:19.959 I just want you to I just want to highlight 0:13:19.960 --> 0:13:22.000 there's a difference between needing help and wanting it. 0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:24.720 I want it and don't need it. But also this 0:13:24.800 --> 0:13:26.640 comes back to like insecurities. 0:13:26.720 --> 0:13:32.439 No, yeah, maybe, but men being casually aggressive smart or 0:13:32.559 --> 0:13:35.840 like being smart asses or being like nasty and messaging 0:13:36.280 --> 0:13:39.600 poking funn at and thinking that making a degrading joke 0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:41.800 is a funny way to connect with someone. 0:13:41.840 --> 0:13:43.559 I was like, oh, we twelve, I'll be back at school. 0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:45.439 When you like someone and you pay them out, you know, 0:13:45.480 --> 0:13:46.080 when you're child. 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:47.839 But a lot of people do it. I don't think 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:48.520 it's just gendered. 0:13:48.559 --> 0:13:50.880 I probably shouldn't say just guys, but there are definitely, 0:13:50.920 --> 0:13:53.360 and I remember from my experiences in dating, there are 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:56.160 definitely a lot of men who find it funny to 0:13:56.360 --> 0:13:59.040 put you down and think that that's the way that 0:13:59.080 --> 0:14:01.760 they're going to be able to get you to go, oh, hey, actually, 0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:04.360 let's go on a date together. There's this weird put 0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:07.160 down culture sometimes when it comes to dating, and it 0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:10.400 actually sometimes comes from people who do have an interest 0:14:10.440 --> 0:14:12.240 in you, but maybe they're trying to play it cool 0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:13.760 or play it too cool. I don't know where it 0:14:13.760 --> 0:14:17.120 comes from, but it's very unproductive to having a great. 0:14:16.880 --> 0:14:17.959 Relationship that way. 0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:19.600 Yeah, I haven't responded to a man a couple of days. 0:14:19.600 --> 0:14:20.200 He's dead to me. 0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:22.880 Okay, well this is We have such a fucking awesome 0:14:22.920 --> 0:14:25.280 episode for you today, guys, and we are so excited 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:28.680 for who we are speaking to today now. Chanelle Contos 0:14:28.760 --> 0:14:31.280 is somebody that we have spoken about on the podcast before. 0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:34.760 We spoke about her last October when she made headlines 0:14:34.760 --> 0:14:38.320 for her incredible work in changing the way that we 0:14:38.360 --> 0:14:40.760 are viewing and the way that we are educating consent 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:44.080 in school. So basically, over the last year, Chanelle has 0:14:44.120 --> 0:14:48.600 been lobbying and campaigning for within schools all across Australia 0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:51.720 for consent to be brought in as a mandatory part 0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:54.440 of the curriculum. So not I mean, you guys, remember 0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:56.960 what consent conversations were like when we were at school. 0:14:57.280 --> 0:14:58.920 They didn't exist, really, it didn't exist. 0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:01.560 You would have one or two lessons around sex education, 0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:05.520 but the actual education around what consent looks like? How 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:08.000 do we give or take away consent to someone? How 0:15:08.040 --> 0:15:11.960 do we navigate those conversations and relationships, especially when we're 0:15:12.000 --> 0:15:16.680 having our first early sexual experiences in school. This is 0:15:16.680 --> 0:15:20.200 what Chanelle's entire campaign is about now. She is the 0:15:20.280 --> 0:15:23.520 founder of Teach Us Consent and as of last year, 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:26.120 there has been huge reform in the way that these 0:15:26.120 --> 0:15:29.560 conversations will take place in school or because of Chanelle's advocacy. 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:32.880 Yeah, she's really incredible. She's the thing she has done 0:15:33.160 --> 0:15:36.120 within a really small timeframe as somebody that didn't have 0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:38.000 a platform to start with. She was just somebody that 0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:41.200 really believed in something, someone that had experienced things she 0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:43.480 shouldn't have, her friends had experienced it, and she just 0:15:43.560 --> 0:15:45.440 had enough. And I take my hat off to her 0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:48.000 because within a year she's meeting with the Prime Minister, 0:15:48.040 --> 0:15:50.200 she's meeting with Scott Morrison, and she's getting big money 0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:52.920 to make changes. She's made huge changes with the curriculum. 0:15:53.000 --> 0:15:55.600 She has gone above and beyond, and she did it 0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:57.680 with nothing but passion and hard work. 0:15:57.920 --> 0:16:00.120 The thing that I think is really incredible about speaking 0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:03.360 to Chanel, and so amazing about the way that she 0:16:03.880 --> 0:16:08.000 talks about consent is that this episode's centers hugely around 0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:12.200 a conversation about sexual assault. But what Chanelle has managed 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:14.800 to pinpoint is that so many of us grew up 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:18.320 in a culture that not only was sexual assault prevalent, 0:16:18.520 --> 0:16:21.000 but it was almost accepting of it. And now I 0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:22.760 know that that's going to sound really jarring to a 0:16:22.760 --> 0:16:24.960 lot of people. But what I mean by this is 0:16:25.240 --> 0:16:27.840 so many of us went through our adolescents or we 0:16:27.880 --> 0:16:31.400 went through university where we have seen or heard of 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:34.320 our friends being sexually assaulted. Maybe we have been sexually 0:16:34.320 --> 0:16:38.120 assaulted ourselves. Maybe you have your own experience of how 0:16:38.160 --> 0:16:42.280 it has affected you. And nobody is held accountable for this, 0:16:42.360 --> 0:16:44.480 and so much of that comes down to the conversation 0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:47.040 around consent. It comes down to the fact that we 0:16:47.080 --> 0:16:50.560 have been conditioned. Not that we're okay with sexual assault, 0:16:50.680 --> 0:16:53.360 not that we're okay with rape culture, but we're very 0:16:53.400 --> 0:16:55.360 familiar with it, and that the fact that we have 0:16:55.400 --> 0:16:57.800 been brought up in a society where it is so 0:16:58.200 --> 0:17:01.800 incredibly common and very few people are held to accountability 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:02.120 for it. 0:17:02.240 --> 0:17:05.360 Well, it's because people never and actually I shouldn't say never, 0:17:05.920 --> 0:17:08.640 not enough people in the past have had platforms big 0:17:08.720 --> 0:17:10.760 enough to make enough noise that they want to make 0:17:10.800 --> 0:17:13.800 about we weren't having open conversations now and we speak 0:17:13.840 --> 0:17:16.320 about this in the episode. Now women have had enough, 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:18.720 but not only have they had enough, We've always had enough, 0:17:18.720 --> 0:17:21.760 But we actually have a means to voice our thoughts 0:17:21.760 --> 0:17:23.600 and our opinions. We have a means to say no. 0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:26.320 We have platforms now, we have other people that will 0:17:26.359 --> 0:17:29.440 help us amplify our voices. And I think that's made 0:17:29.440 --> 0:17:30.280 a huge difference. 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:32.919 But don't you think it's amazing that Chanelle, she identified 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:34.800 like she looked at this and she was like, why 0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:37.760 have so many of my friends been sexually assaulted? Why 0:17:37.760 --> 0:17:40.520 have I experienced sexual assault? And why isn't why are 0:17:40.640 --> 0:17:43.439 more people fucking furious about this? Like this is an 0:17:43.480 --> 0:17:47.120 epidemic that young people experience. So many women and young 0:17:47.160 --> 0:17:50.760 girls experience sexual assault, and instead of just looking at 0:17:50.760 --> 0:17:53.439 it as though it's just a part of what happens 0:17:53.440 --> 0:17:56.879 in our society, Chanelle has unpacked where that stems from. 0:17:57.160 --> 0:18:00.080 And the way to be able to condition and to 0:18:00.160 --> 0:18:03.439 kind of change people's views and mentality towards this is 0:18:03.520 --> 0:18:07.040 to start teaching consent in schools, really driving home the 0:18:07.119 --> 0:18:10.080 basic facts of things that we think everyone should know, 0:18:10.400 --> 0:18:12.399 but kids don't know it unless they're taught it. 0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:15.240 And speaking of being taught something, before we get into 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:17.800 the chat with Chanel, I want to add something that 0:18:18.080 --> 0:18:20.800 Chanel and I spoke about after we recorded the podcast, 0:18:20.800 --> 0:18:24.040 so I learned she taught me something. In the episode, 0:18:24.119 --> 0:18:27.880 we speak a little bit about a different level of consent, 0:18:28.160 --> 0:18:30.960 and this is the idea that women can change their 0:18:30.960 --> 0:18:33.800 mind when they're already in a situation. They may have consented, 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:35.240 then they may change their mind and they don't want 0:18:35.240 --> 0:18:36.000 to have sex anymore. 0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:38.400 Yeah, and consent being this fluid thing that can change 0:18:38.400 --> 0:18:39.040 it anytime. 0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:42.120 So I was telling a story about how I I mean, 0:18:42.160 --> 0:18:44.399 I've done it before. I've definitely had sex at a 0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:47.119 time with someone where I'm not saying it was forced. 0:18:47.200 --> 0:18:49.480 I'm just saying inside my head, I was like, oh, 0:18:49.560 --> 0:18:52.040 I don't really want to do this. All my friends 0:18:52.200 --> 0:18:53.920 have been in the same situation. Like I feel like 0:18:54.000 --> 0:18:55.879 every single person and I know everyone listening is going 0:18:55.920 --> 0:18:57.320 to be like, oh, I've definitely done that. 0:18:57.520 --> 0:18:59.639 Well, I've definitely done it. Yeah, And so we want to. 0:18:59.600 --> 0:19:02.440 Talk about the fact that you can change your mind 0:19:02.440 --> 0:19:03.960 and you don't have to do it now. We did 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:07.760 speak briefly about this in the episode, and afterwards Chanelle 0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:10.280 sent me She's like, look what you were talking about 0:19:10.320 --> 0:19:13.000 what your friend did recently. She's like, that has a name, 0:19:13.000 --> 0:19:15.720 but people don't know about it. It's actually the fourth 0:19:15.840 --> 0:19:19.359 trauma response. So the trauma responses are number one is fight, 0:19:19.600 --> 0:19:22.560 number two is flight, number three is freeze, and number 0:19:22.600 --> 0:19:27.399 four is fawn. So this idea of women subjecting themselves 0:19:27.440 --> 0:19:29.280 to something they don't want to do and not actually 0:19:29.359 --> 0:19:31.400 voicing that they don't want to do it, it's called fawning, 0:19:31.800 --> 0:19:35.760 and it's essentially you're people pleasing. You're scared in a situation, 0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:37.800 you don't want to cause conflict, you don't want to 0:19:37.840 --> 0:19:40.639 upset somebody else. You think it's easier to just do 0:19:40.680 --> 0:19:43.359 something you don't want to do than cause a scene. 0:19:43.400 --> 0:19:45.440 So it does have a name. It is called fawning, 0:19:45.480 --> 0:19:49.520 and it is absolutely something that is not acceptable. You 0:19:49.560 --> 0:19:50.800 do not have to do it. You don't have to 0:19:50.800 --> 0:19:53.080 do anything you don't want to do to please another 0:19:53.160 --> 0:19:56.199 human or to be scared, to disrupt him, to embarrass 0:19:56.440 --> 0:19:58.320 yourself or to embarrass. 0:19:57.920 --> 0:20:00.640 The guy, or feeling feelings. 0:20:00.720 --> 0:20:01.960 You can change your mind. 0:20:02.119 --> 0:20:04.560 I would say that there are probably so many women 0:20:04.680 --> 0:20:07.680 listening to this who have had sex in their life 0:20:07.960 --> 0:20:10.760 with somebody who they didn't really want to have sex with. 0:20:10.920 --> 0:20:12.960 Now it wasn't I'm not saying that it's sexual assault 0:20:13.000 --> 0:20:16.440 that it's right because they and themselves just did it 0:20:16.600 --> 0:20:18.719 and kind of were like, it's easier to do it 0:20:18.760 --> 0:20:20.880 and get it over with than to try and get 0:20:20.960 --> 0:20:23.000 up and leave, or to have a conversation and tell 0:20:23.000 --> 0:20:24.920 the guy I'm not interested, Like maybe it had already 0:20:24.960 --> 0:20:26.840 gone so far that you're like, oh fuck, I don't 0:20:26.880 --> 0:20:27.240 want to have. 0:20:27.200 --> 0:20:29.120 Sex with him, let's just get it over But I'll. 0:20:28.960 --> 0:20:31.520 Just do it anyway. And that's exactly what we're talking 0:20:31.560 --> 0:20:35.560 about in this. It's like really understanding that you have 0:20:35.640 --> 0:20:38.480 an agency over your own body, understanding what consent is 0:20:38.560 --> 0:20:40.560 and why it's so imperative that this is taught to 0:20:40.640 --> 0:20:43.199 kids from a really, really young age, So it's not 0:20:43.600 --> 0:20:46.359 after the fact, it's not after they've already started to 0:20:46.359 --> 0:20:48.960 have sexual experiences that they learned that they can say 0:20:49.000 --> 0:20:53.080 no in all these different complex environments. It's a fucking 0:20:53.119 --> 0:20:55.679 good episode, guys. We're going to get into that shortly. 0:20:56.000 --> 0:20:58.159 But as you guys know, before we get into the 0:20:58.200 --> 0:21:00.320 chat with Chanelle, there is a segment that we do 0:21:00.440 --> 0:21:07.480 on every single episode, and that is accidentally unfiltered confessional slash. 0:21:07.680 --> 0:21:08.879 Do you have a confessional or do you have an 0:21:08.880 --> 0:21:12.359 accidently unfiltered today. Well I had to I think I 0:21:12.440 --> 0:21:14.200 might just go with the short. So good to see that. 0:21:15.240 --> 0:21:16.800 I was like, I didn't know which one to do. 0:21:16.920 --> 0:21:17.760 I might just go with this. 0:21:18.119 --> 0:21:21.080 I think I was get like a super short confessional today, 0:21:21.119 --> 0:21:23.359 all right, because I have a super short accidentally unfiltered. 0:21:23.480 --> 0:21:26.520 My husband and I own horses and run horse clinics, 0:21:26.560 --> 0:21:28.720 and what that means is we take people's horses and 0:21:28.760 --> 0:21:31.000 we train them for them all we care for them 0:21:31.040 --> 0:21:33.879 while they are away. We had a very lovely but 0:21:33.960 --> 0:21:36.879 also very proper client of ours leave her horse with 0:21:36.960 --> 0:21:39.879 us for several weeks to care for. On Friday, just 0:21:39.920 --> 0:21:42.040 pass she sent me a message saying she wanted to 0:21:42.080 --> 0:21:43.879 come pick up her horse as she wanted to go 0:21:43.960 --> 0:21:48.000 riding on the weekend, but unfortunately her horse wasn't ready. 0:21:48.280 --> 0:21:52.120 Being the generous horse, like the horses in there doing 0:21:52.160 --> 0:21:54.520 specific training, so it's like you can't just take it 0:21:54.520 --> 0:21:55.679 out or it breaks the training. 0:21:56.080 --> 0:21:58.359 Right, Sorry, your car is not ready. Now, I'm sorry 0:21:58.400 --> 0:22:00.480 the horse I ain't ready. We have an the service 0:22:00.480 --> 0:22:01.120 to do on the horse. 0:22:01.119 --> 0:22:02.840 He still needs a nails done. 0:22:05.000 --> 0:22:07.520 Being the generous woman I am, I wanted to offer 0:22:07.560 --> 0:22:10.000 her my husband's horse duck to take out for her 0:22:10.000 --> 0:22:12.760 trail ride. So I sent her a message and didn't 0:22:12.800 --> 0:22:14.960 think anything of it at all until I received a 0:22:15.000 --> 0:22:19.119 message back saying that I was being totally inappropriate. Turns 0:22:19.160 --> 0:22:21.239 out the message I had sent had a tiper win 0:22:21.280 --> 0:22:24.760 it and it read as follows, Unfortunately your horse won't 0:22:24.760 --> 0:22:27.080 be ready for this weekend, but Lee has offered you 0:22:27.160 --> 0:22:29.680 his precious dick to write for the weekend instead. 0:22:30.640 --> 0:22:31.560 How does that sound? 0:22:32.640 --> 0:22:35.680 I'd send without even looking at the messages, And now 0:22:35.720 --> 0:22:37.560 I have to face this woman when she comes next 0:22:37.560 --> 0:22:39.520 week because I'd offered to take my hobby out for 0:22:39.560 --> 0:22:42.040 a spin, so she offered her husband's dick up to 0:22:42.160 --> 0:22:44.159 her a very professional client, because her horse had to 0:22:44.160 --> 0:22:46.520 get a nails done. I just love how innocent it is, 0:22:46.560 --> 0:22:48.800 but also like, here, please take my husband's dick for 0:22:48.800 --> 0:22:49.120 a spin. 0:22:49.280 --> 0:22:52.440 It's because why does Apple think that everything we want 0:22:52.480 --> 0:22:55.880 to write is duk Like she wanted to say duck. 0:22:56.720 --> 0:22:58.760 She did the one time that it does it backwards 0:22:58.800 --> 0:23:02.040 and you want to say dick, it ordered corrects to dark. 0:23:02.119 --> 0:23:05.040 But also on day that I have never in my 0:23:05.080 --> 0:23:08.240 life said that I ducking don't want something, but oh right, 0:23:08.560 --> 0:23:10.119 I ducking hate that or I ducking? 0:23:10.160 --> 0:23:12.160 Everyone does everyone? Why do they think that we want 0:23:12.160 --> 0:23:12.399 to do it? 0:23:12.440 --> 0:23:14.600 And the one time this poor lady actually wants to say 0:23:14.680 --> 0:23:18.159 dark and order a reverse auto correct to dick. But also, 0:23:18.680 --> 0:23:22.280 why on earth why why would you call your horse duck? 0:23:22.600 --> 0:23:26.600 For how no for how smart Apple is, for how you. 0:23:26.520 --> 0:23:30.320 Call your horse, for how advanced at Apple technology is. 0:23:30.560 --> 0:23:33.679 Why would it ever think that the Australian population is 0:23:33.680 --> 0:23:35.360 so obsessed with saying the word. 0:23:35.280 --> 0:23:36.080 Duck or ducking? 0:23:36.320 --> 0:23:38.200 Who knows? I think that they're trying to say, Look, 0:23:38.200 --> 0:23:41.080 we don't encourage the word buck, we don't encourage profanity. 0:23:41.119 --> 0:23:43.160 But like we get at Apple, however hear at lafe 0:23:43.200 --> 0:23:44.119 on cut, we do all right? 0:23:44.160 --> 0:23:45.240 What is your confessional? 0:23:45.560 --> 0:23:48.360 Okay, here's my confessional. So, my sister has just got 0:23:48.400 --> 0:23:52.679 out of a very long term relationship. I'm talking ten years, 0:23:53.280 --> 0:23:56.560 unfortunately nearing the end. The last couple of years it 0:23:56.600 --> 0:24:00.360 was getting quite emotionally abusive. I'm so glad she got 0:24:00.400 --> 0:24:02.520 out of it and she's finally happy again. But I 0:24:02.560 --> 0:24:05.720 have something that I want to confess. My sister and 0:24:05.760 --> 0:24:07.960 I used to live together and her boyfriend would come 0:24:08.000 --> 0:24:10.960 and visit us often. He worked into state. So when 0:24:10.960 --> 0:24:12.919 he visited, it was good for a few days at 0:24:12.920 --> 0:24:16.159 a time. Inevitably, every time he visited there ended up 0:24:16.160 --> 0:24:19.560 being a huge fight between them. He would resort to 0:24:19.640 --> 0:24:22.200 derogatory name calling, which has really got me because I 0:24:22.200 --> 0:24:24.480 would witness this. So it got to the point when 0:24:24.520 --> 0:24:27.120 they were out of the house, I would take his toothbrush, 0:24:27.280 --> 0:24:30.639 wipe it all around a dirty toilet bowl, flash it 0:24:30.760 --> 0:24:32.800 under the toilet water, and put it back. 0:24:34.960 --> 0:24:39.080 Well played. This is just like the perfect crime. 0:24:39.200 --> 0:24:43.200 You'll always get away with it, except he'll nobody gets 0:24:43.200 --> 0:24:44.320 gastro well. 0:24:44.320 --> 0:24:45.480 I wonder if he did. 0:24:46.440 --> 0:24:48.040 So do you know what it is a perfect crime, 0:24:48.080 --> 0:24:51.359 because I guess you it's so satisfying to you know 0:24:51.400 --> 0:24:54.000 that there's like pooh water on his toilet brush, but 0:24:54.480 --> 0:24:56.560 you'll never you would never look at it. It actually makes 0:24:56.560 --> 0:24:57.600 me a bit worried. This is why I kind never 0:24:57.680 --> 0:24:59.520 live with anyone. I don't trust them. He'll never look 0:24:59.560 --> 0:25:01.040 at that and be like, that's pooh water. There's pop 0:25:01.040 --> 0:25:01.520 particles on that. 0:25:01.800 --> 0:25:03.720 They won't remember. This happened on Maths a couple of 0:25:03.800 --> 0:25:07.960 years ago. No Share, there was a big toilet toothbrush 0:25:08.040 --> 0:25:09.199 conspiracy that happened. 0:25:09.240 --> 0:25:10.840 Someone did that on national television. 0:25:10.840 --> 0:25:12.960 Did they get roasted? Yes, it did not go down. 0:25:12.960 --> 0:25:16.440 What anyway, guys, let's get into the chat with Chanelle. 0:25:16.840 --> 0:25:19.240 As we talked about at the beginning of this episode, 0:25:19.359 --> 0:25:22.560 we are talking about sexual assault with Chanelle today. Now 0:25:22.760 --> 0:25:24.840 this comes with a bit of a trigger warning. If 0:25:24.840 --> 0:25:26.760 this brings up anything in you or you need to 0:25:26.800 --> 0:25:29.320 speak to someone, please call one eight hundred. 0:25:29.359 --> 0:25:29.800 Respect. 0:25:30.359 --> 0:25:33.000 Also, it is completely fine that this episode might not 0:25:33.119 --> 0:25:35.240 be for you, so please feel free to skip it. 0:25:35.280 --> 0:25:36.960 Maybe you want to come back to an aedilated date, 0:25:37.080 --> 0:25:38.200 or maybe you don't want to listen. 0:25:38.040 --> 0:25:39.640 At all, that is totally okay. 0:25:42.320 --> 0:25:44.960 Chanelle is a young activist and the founder of Teachers 0:25:45.080 --> 0:25:48.760 Consent and she has been successful in lobbying the government 0:25:49.040 --> 0:25:52.880 to create and provide holistic consent and sexual education in schools. 0:25:53.160 --> 0:25:55.879 She's been awarded the Australian Human Rights Commission of twenty 0:25:55.920 --> 0:25:59.800 twenty one Young People's Medal for her exceptional advocacy for 0:26:00.040 --> 0:26:02.600 had a consent and education and raising the issue of 0:26:02.600 --> 0:26:07.040 sexual assault within schools to the National Spotlight. Chanelle, Welcome 0:26:07.160 --> 0:26:08.159 to Life on Cut. 0:26:08.400 --> 0:26:10.119 Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited 0:26:10.119 --> 0:26:10.840 to speak to you both. 0:26:10.960 --> 0:26:13.280 Chanell Where are you coming from right now? Because everyone 0:26:13.320 --> 0:26:14.920 listening we're on a zoom call. 0:26:15.000 --> 0:26:15.639 But where are you? 0:26:15.920 --> 0:26:18.040 I'm in Sydney at the moment you are, And because 0:26:18.080 --> 0:26:20.240 you correct me if I'm wrong, do you still live 0:26:20.320 --> 0:26:21.919 over in England? Do you live in London? 0:26:21.960 --> 0:26:22.800 It's a good question. 0:26:23.400 --> 0:26:25.240 So I was meant to come to Sydney for just 0:26:25.359 --> 0:26:28.240 a few weeks and I've ended up staying a few months. 0:26:28.280 --> 0:26:30.000 But yeah, I've been living in London and was living 0:26:30.000 --> 0:26:32.119 there the whole time the petition was going on. And 0:26:32.160 --> 0:26:34.000 I'm hoping to go back in next month or so 0:26:34.160 --> 0:26:36.000 and then spend like another six months there and then 0:26:36.040 --> 0:26:36.960 move back to Australia. 0:26:37.000 --> 0:26:38.159 So Australia is very much. 0:26:38.040 --> 0:26:39.320 Home fair, Chanelle. 0:26:39.440 --> 0:26:43.080 We never start an episode of Life on Cut without 0:26:43.119 --> 0:26:45.720 an accidentally unfiltered when our guests come on, we love 0:26:46.000 --> 0:26:48.480 nothing more than throwing you under the bus on a 0:26:48.600 --> 0:26:52.080 national and worldwide level and hearing your embarrassing stories. 0:26:52.119 --> 0:26:54.080 So do you have I have a few, but I 0:26:54.080 --> 0:26:55.920 have one that I'm willing to share, but I'm still 0:26:55.920 --> 0:26:57.399 not entirely sure I'm willing to share it. 0:26:57.440 --> 0:27:01.240 But here goes toy, now go. That's also why we 0:27:01.280 --> 0:27:02.840 put at the start so people can't back out. 0:27:04.000 --> 0:27:06.600 So I had a bit of a crush on this boy, 0:27:06.640 --> 0:27:09.199 and I spent a bit of time with him, not 0:27:09.320 --> 0:27:11.080 much time, so it's probably the third time that we're 0:27:11.080 --> 0:27:14.040 hanging out, and we never like kissed before anything. It 0:27:14.080 --> 0:27:16.119 was actually almost like it was very. 0:27:16.000 --> 0:27:17.639 Friendly, but I was pretty into him. 0:27:17.800 --> 0:27:19.399 I went to his house one night to watch a 0:27:19.400 --> 0:27:22.399 movie after going to dinner with friends, and then I 0:27:22.600 --> 0:27:23.960 just like feel a little bit sick and I was like, 0:27:24.040 --> 0:27:25.960 I'm gonna go, and he was like, I'll walk you out. 0:27:26.119 --> 0:27:27.840 In my mind, I was thinking like, well, please don't 0:27:27.840 --> 0:27:29.119 walk me out, Like I feel really sick right now, 0:27:29.240 --> 0:27:29.879 but okay. 0:27:29.840 --> 0:27:32.000 I'm gonna let one worry. Please do not come out. 0:27:33.720 --> 0:27:37.840 Yeah, anyway, So we're like walking and in the lobby 0:27:37.840 --> 0:27:40.800 of his apartment block, and context for everyone is that 0:27:40.920 --> 0:27:44.880 I'm allergic to mushrooms. Huge reaction to when I eat mushrooms, it's. 0:27:44.760 --> 0:27:45.600 Still follow them up. 0:27:45.840 --> 0:27:49.479 And turns out there was mushroom sauce all over my dinner. 0:27:49.720 --> 0:27:53.960 So I turned around him, I'm so sorry, but I 0:27:53.960 --> 0:27:56.679 think I'm about to vomit right now. And before the 0:27:56.800 --> 0:27:59.960 like automatic doors could even open to the outside of 0:28:00.040 --> 0:28:04.760 the apartment block and literally like just projectile everywhere. 0:28:05.880 --> 0:28:07.560 Please tell me you turned away from him. 0:28:07.800 --> 0:28:10.040 I didn't have time to do anything. I was vomiting. 0:28:10.320 --> 0:28:12.720 And then that's not even the worst part. It gets worse. 0:28:13.000 --> 0:28:16.720 He happened to have like an extreme like phobia a 0:28:16.840 --> 0:28:21.840 vomit so he was a sympathetic vomita. So I'm like 0:28:22.400 --> 0:28:25.320 laughing and vomiting at the same time, and he's like 0:28:25.320 --> 0:28:28.280 two meters away from me, also like gagging and vomiting, 0:28:28.440 --> 0:28:31.320 And it was probably the most embarrassing that's ever happened 0:28:31.320 --> 0:28:31.480 to me. 0:28:31.480 --> 0:28:33.280 It was actually just so absurd. 0:28:33.720 --> 0:28:38.080 If anything vomiting in synchronicity is something that's gonna bond 0:28:38.120 --> 0:28:39.280 you together for the rest of your. 0:28:39.200 --> 0:28:42.040 Life, well you don't know if it is. You're like, no, 0:28:42.080 --> 0:28:42.640 we're not dating. 0:28:42.680 --> 0:28:46.000 It can confirm it. It didn't. It did not bond us. 0:28:46.600 --> 0:28:48.360 So were you inside the glass door? 0:28:48.400 --> 0:28:49.960 So are you in like a carpeted area or a 0:28:50.040 --> 0:28:53.120 child area and just like letting it rain or what's 0:28:53.160 --> 0:28:54.320 the situation. 0:28:54.240 --> 0:28:55.560 Tiled area? 0:28:55.600 --> 0:28:57.480 And then I got most of it on the concrete 0:28:57.560 --> 0:28:59.960 just outside, but there was some on the glass automatic doors. 0:29:00.000 --> 0:29:01.760 And because obviously he had a phobian vomit. So then 0:29:01.840 --> 0:29:03.520 once I felt better, I had to go clean it up. 0:29:04.880 --> 0:29:07.920 Oh my god, So you had to then go and 0:29:07.960 --> 0:29:09.600 clean up your vomit and his vomit. 0:29:09.800 --> 0:29:12.760 You'd never kiss? Please tell me did you ever kiss 0:29:12.880 --> 0:29:13.360 this boy? 0:29:13.600 --> 0:29:14.720 We've kissed once. 0:29:16.640 --> 0:29:18.920 Since and both of you couldn't really get over the 0:29:18.960 --> 0:29:19.760 whole vomit saga. 0:29:19.880 --> 0:29:22.720 Yeah, he texted me after saying Semi wanted to kiss you, 0:29:22.800 --> 0:29:24.960 and I replied saying, knew that vomit was your kink. 0:29:28.800 --> 0:29:30.720 Sorry, just gets better and better, we Allso. 0:29:30.800 --> 0:29:32.840 I mean, it's a funny question because we usually ask 0:29:32.920 --> 0:29:35.320 all of our guests for a little bit about their childhood, 0:29:35.360 --> 0:29:37.240 like what school did they go to? But asking that 0:29:37.320 --> 0:29:40.160 question is actually so fundamental and critical to your story. 0:29:40.240 --> 0:29:42.120 It is your story, It is part of your story. 0:29:42.280 --> 0:29:44.000 Can you tell us a little bit about what it 0:29:44.080 --> 0:29:46.160 was like growing up, the school that you went to, 0:29:46.520 --> 0:29:48.560 and what that experience was like for you. 0:29:49.040 --> 0:29:52.400 So I grew up in Sin's Isn't Suburbs, which is 0:29:52.440 --> 0:29:56.400 a very privileged area of Australia, and I went to Kambala, 0:29:56.440 --> 0:30:00.240 which is a private school. And I feel like, yeah, 0:30:00.240 --> 0:30:02.400 as you said, it was very fundamental to a lot 0:30:02.440 --> 0:30:04.360 of the work I do, the kind of culture I 0:30:04.400 --> 0:30:06.760 experience in that environment, and yeah, I mean I had 0:30:06.800 --> 0:30:07.640 so much fun at school. 0:30:07.680 --> 0:30:09.040 I loved school, Like I. 0:30:09.000 --> 0:30:10.920 Actually went back the other day to give a talk 0:30:10.920 --> 0:30:12.560 of my old school, and I was walking through being like, 0:30:12.680 --> 0:30:15.719 can ovis this this is just these were the days, 0:30:15.800 --> 0:30:18.520 And yeah, I had the most amazing group of friends 0:30:18.560 --> 0:30:20.480 who are still all my best friends today, which I 0:30:20.480 --> 0:30:21.400 think is really special. 0:30:21.800 --> 0:30:23.560 It's because you've got no bills to pay and you 0:30:23.600 --> 0:30:26.320 don't have all these adult responsibilities. 0:30:25.440 --> 0:30:27.000 And you think life is so hard. 0:30:27.040 --> 0:30:28.960 At school, you're like, oh, I got a study for 0:30:29.000 --> 0:30:31.240 this exam real quick. But then and you want to 0:30:31.280 --> 0:30:33.360 grow up, Like I remember just being like I can't 0:30:33.400 --> 0:30:35.160 wait to finish school. I can't wait to get out 0:30:35.160 --> 0:30:37.040 into the world. And now I'm like, take me back, 0:30:37.120 --> 0:30:39.280 let me put me in your ten yeah, your math class, 0:30:39.280 --> 0:30:39.760 and just let. 0:30:39.720 --> 0:30:43.200 Me get and exactly, you have like a structured routine. 0:30:43.280 --> 0:30:44.680 You never have to think about what to do. You 0:30:44.800 --> 0:30:46.240 just like you get to hang out with your friends 0:30:46.240 --> 0:30:48.680 eight hours a day. I know, I talk a lot 0:30:48.680 --> 0:30:52.160 of bad things about single sex educational institutions, but being 0:30:52.160 --> 0:30:54.640 surrounded by just like amazing girls and women twenty four 0:30:54.680 --> 0:30:56.080 seven was such a privilege. 0:30:56.280 --> 0:30:58.240 So you were just so everybody knows you were at 0:30:58.240 --> 0:31:00.640 a same sex school. You're an all girls school. Yeah, 0:31:00.680 --> 0:31:03.280 And do you have like a sister so I you're 0:31:03.280 --> 0:31:06.200 talking to someone that grew up in a public school 0:31:06.240 --> 0:31:09.080 that was boys and girl so this is not my world. 0:31:09.480 --> 0:31:12.240 Do you have like a sister school, sister brother school 0:31:12.440 --> 0:31:15.080 that you sort of join up with for sports carnivals 0:31:15.080 --> 0:31:16.760 and things like that, like an all boys school. Is 0:31:16.760 --> 0:31:17.440 that how it works? 0:31:17.640 --> 0:31:19.959 Yes, so not for things like sports carnivals, but like 0:31:20.120 --> 0:31:23.400 random social events like the year six hodown and like 0:31:23.720 --> 0:31:24.720 your ten Mas. 0:31:24.520 --> 0:31:28.520 Dads welved down here. What was that line dance? 0:31:28.840 --> 0:31:31.720 It was literally line dancing, because it's like a safeway 0:31:31.760 --> 0:31:35.000 to like children interact without like dancing and touching each other. 0:31:35.280 --> 0:31:37.120 I had line dancing too. We had to wear the 0:31:37.120 --> 0:31:38.240 skirts and everything. 0:31:38.480 --> 0:31:40.600 I think that's so interesting because I feel like, even 0:31:40.600 --> 0:31:42.600 though I mean, you've been from the Eastern suburbs and 0:31:42.640 --> 0:31:44.720 going to an all girls school here, I had a 0:31:44.800 --> 0:31:46.840 very similar experience in that I went to an all 0:31:46.840 --> 0:31:49.680 girls school called Saint Mary's in Woollongong, and we had 0:31:49.760 --> 0:31:51.600 a school that we were associated with. 0:31:51.640 --> 0:31:53.120 It wasn't by any means. 0:31:52.800 --> 0:31:54.560 Like attached to each other. But we would do like 0:31:54.600 --> 0:31:56.360 our discos and stuff with it, and it was called 0:31:56.480 --> 0:31:58.880 edmund Rice. And I think that there are some interesting 0:31:58.920 --> 0:32:01.160 parts of your story and about the conversation we're going 0:32:01.200 --> 0:32:05.120 to get into that I think are echoed throughout a 0:32:05.160 --> 0:32:08.040 lot of private schools, not just and I guess that 0:32:08.040 --> 0:32:10.960 that's where this petition came from. But Janelle, can you 0:32:10.960 --> 0:32:13.200 talk to us a little bit about when you finished school? 0:32:13.600 --> 0:32:16.440 Because the petition that you lobbied for and your work 0:32:16.440 --> 0:32:19.240 that you've done didn't come immediately after school. So can 0:32:19.240 --> 0:32:20.800 you talk to me a little bit about what your 0:32:20.840 --> 0:32:24.240 experience was like and when was it that you started 0:32:24.280 --> 0:32:27.400 to have conversations with your girlfriends around consent, what that 0:32:27.440 --> 0:32:30.360 looked like, and maybe started to realize that the things 0:32:30.360 --> 0:32:32.400 that you learned in school weren't really marrying up. 0:32:32.480 --> 0:32:34.960 All the things you experienced in school weren't marrying. 0:32:34.760 --> 0:32:38.080 Up to So I like, the first time we ever 0:32:38.120 --> 0:32:40.280 spoke about consent was when we got our concent education. 0:32:40.800 --> 0:32:43.000 None of us had ever really thought of the concept before, 0:32:43.320 --> 0:32:45.600 none of us knew us sawing that needed to be attained. 0:32:46.120 --> 0:32:48.000 It was the same moment that many of me and 0:32:48.080 --> 0:32:50.880 my friends and me and myself as well, realized that 0:32:50.960 --> 0:32:55.840 those like bad experiences were actually acts of sexual assault, 0:32:55.920 --> 0:33:00.840 rape and violence. And yeah, that was a unique experience 0:33:01.040 --> 0:33:03.800 because none of us had to share stories of out 0:33:03.840 --> 0:33:04.800 sexual assault. 0:33:04.440 --> 0:33:05.560 To each other. We all knew them. 0:33:05.560 --> 0:33:08.320 We all knew these things as like almost gossip. But 0:33:08.360 --> 0:33:12.320 then suddenly it was portrayed and we had the language 0:33:12.360 --> 0:33:14.160 to be able to explain what happened. And I remember 0:33:14.200 --> 0:33:16.800 so clearly that lunchtime in the break between that consent 0:33:16.920 --> 0:33:19.120 education day we had, which by the way, we had 0:33:19.280 --> 0:33:21.960 far too late, and only because my school was a 0:33:21.960 --> 0:33:24.800 private school that had the flexibility to work out out 0:33:24.800 --> 0:33:27.520 of the Australian curriculum, and this is not something that 0:33:27.880 --> 0:33:31.320 everyone got. But yeah, that lunchtime in between that day, 0:33:31.480 --> 0:33:34.480 we were like, I remember all like throwing around how 0:33:34.520 --> 0:33:38.239 many years jail our perpetrators could get. Like we're like, oh, 0:33:38.280 --> 0:33:40.440 ma'm we get seven years, man would get fourteen, like 0:33:40.760 --> 0:33:43.440 depending on whether they sexually assaulted us or raped us 0:33:43.440 --> 0:33:46.640 digitally orally or vaginally, like all these different things, which 0:33:46.680 --> 0:33:50.280 is kind of testament to the type of conversation we 0:33:50.320 --> 0:33:52.280 had and how our concent education was framed. It wasn't 0:33:52.360 --> 0:33:54.280 very realistic at all. It wasn't as if, oh, someone 0:33:54.360 --> 0:33:56.120 sexually assaults you and they go to jail for this 0:33:56.240 --> 0:33:58.719 many years, because we know it's very obvious that's not 0:33:58.760 --> 0:34:00.680 true for most people. So that was kind of like 0:34:00.720 --> 0:34:02.480 the moment where I was like, oh, that's weird, And 0:34:02.520 --> 0:34:04.000 that really changed I think me and a lot of 0:34:04.040 --> 0:34:06.040 my friend's frameworks about all these things that had happened 0:34:06.080 --> 0:34:07.880 to us and what was happening on weekends, and also 0:34:07.960 --> 0:34:10.080 potentially where we felt more empowered to kind of start 0:34:10.120 --> 0:34:13.440 calling out behavior or believing each other more or like 0:34:13.520 --> 0:34:15.759 all these different things. But yeah, there was quite a 0:34:15.800 --> 0:34:19.520 delay until years later in so I graduated twenty fifteen, 0:34:19.640 --> 0:34:22.240 and then in twenty twenty, me and three friends basically 0:34:22.280 --> 0:34:24.719 started like sharing stories of sexual assault with each other 0:34:24.920 --> 0:34:28.640 and just had like unlimited ones to share not only 0:34:28.640 --> 0:34:30.880 that it had happened to usk, but to people we knew, 0:34:31.120 --> 0:34:34.040 and we knew both the victims and the perpetrators, and 0:34:34.040 --> 0:34:35.200 that was kind of what we were talking about. 0:34:35.200 --> 0:34:36.920 We were like, how messed up is this that? Like 0:34:36.960 --> 0:34:38.960 this boy who we all know and. 0:34:38.920 --> 0:34:40.640 Socialize with and everyone's friends with and has a great 0:34:40.719 --> 0:34:42.879 job at an investment bank is like the guy who 0:34:42.920 --> 0:34:45.200 did this or blah blah blah. And that's when I 0:34:45.200 --> 0:34:47.440 started collecting my first few testimonies. But I didn't take 0:34:47.480 --> 0:34:49.279 it to social media. I just like texted my friends 0:34:49.360 --> 0:34:52.399 individually who I knew had been raped and asked them 0:34:52.400 --> 0:34:54.640 to kind of like send me in stories. Yeah, when 0:34:54.640 --> 0:34:56.360 I was studying my masters, so I did masters in 0:34:56.600 --> 0:35:00.640 gender education and international Development. And the more I learned 0:35:00.760 --> 0:35:04.520 about I guess, gender in the education system, sexual coersion 0:35:04.960 --> 0:35:07.600 in young people, gender norms, all these things, it's just 0:35:07.640 --> 0:35:10.120 increasingly like, wow, this is strange, and to me there 0:35:10.160 --> 0:35:12.480 was this massive hypocrisy that I wanted to expose. And 0:35:12.520 --> 0:35:15.880 the fact that you think that going to a private 0:35:15.920 --> 0:35:17.880 school in Australia is going to mean that you're going 0:35:17.920 --> 0:35:21.680 to have a safe education experience, but actually it quite 0:35:21.680 --> 0:35:24.120 the opposite. That started kind of getting me thinking about 0:35:24.120 --> 0:35:26.000 this being the cush probably do some research into this. 0:35:26.400 --> 0:35:29.799 And then the final catalyst was one of my good 0:35:29.840 --> 0:35:33.040 friends who I witnessed and stopped their sexual assault when 0:35:33.040 --> 0:35:34.799 we were fifteen, but none of us ever thought about it. 0:35:34.800 --> 0:35:36.479 We didn't talk about it the day after. It wasn't 0:35:36.480 --> 0:35:39.040 even anything. We only realized in that consent talk, that 0:35:39.160 --> 0:35:42.160 it counted as sexual assault and that it was illegal. 0:35:42.480 --> 0:35:44.800 They started going to therapy and basically started getting flashbacks 0:35:44.840 --> 0:35:46.640 to this moment and we started talking about it, and 0:35:46.680 --> 0:35:49.800 I was just like, we are here years and years later, 0:35:50.280 --> 0:35:52.759 you were crying about the situation and he doesn't even 0:35:52.760 --> 0:35:54.520 know he's done this to you, And the boy who 0:35:54.560 --> 0:35:56.040 did it to me doesn't even know he's done this 0:35:56.120 --> 0:35:57.440 to me, And to me, that was just like the 0:35:57.480 --> 0:35:59.799 epitome of the injustice, Like, not only are we being 0:35:59.800 --> 0:36:03.479 soctually assaulted in mass as a community, there are also 0:36:03.520 --> 0:36:07.480 people who are sexually assaulting people without knowing with you know, 0:36:07.600 --> 0:36:09.520 just ignorance and being products of the society. 0:36:09.560 --> 0:36:12.600 Wherein when we talk about this, like taking you back 0:36:12.640 --> 0:36:16.239 a little bit in that conversation, so being in school 0:36:16.760 --> 0:36:19.279 when you did start to learn about consent or when 0:36:19.320 --> 0:36:22.279 consent came up as part of you know, your school curriculum. 0:36:22.400 --> 0:36:23.200 What year was that. 0:36:23.200 --> 0:36:26.080 In So it happened I think late year ten, and 0:36:26.160 --> 0:36:28.719 it was a one day talk, which at the time 0:36:28.719 --> 0:36:29.920 we thought was the best thing in the world, and 0:36:29.960 --> 0:36:32.160 in hindsight was like so problematic. 0:36:32.440 --> 0:36:35.080 Yeah, And I guess also like the important part of 0:36:35.080 --> 0:36:37.680 that is is like, how old were you when like 0:36:37.719 --> 0:36:40.520 the school started interacting with each other when you've already 0:36:40.560 --> 0:36:44.080 experienced what sexual assault is, and then you have context 0:36:44.120 --> 0:36:46.880 around what that is because somebody's told you this is 0:36:46.880 --> 0:36:49.120 what consent is, but you've never been taught at prior. 0:36:49.840 --> 0:36:51.120 Just so I have a bit of an idea and 0:36:51.160 --> 0:36:53.560 the listeners have a bit of an idea the experiences 0:36:53.640 --> 0:36:55.880 that you had had going to this all girls school 0:36:56.200 --> 0:36:57.480 at what year did that start? 0:36:58.000 --> 0:37:02.960 So for me, I was thirteen, so I was in 0:37:03.080 --> 0:37:06.520 year eight and yeah, that seemed to be like a 0:37:06.560 --> 0:37:08.680 pretty common age when this sort of stuff started happening. 0:37:08.840 --> 0:37:11.440 I speak at schools a lot in the UK, and 0:37:12.160 --> 0:37:14.799 it's almost as if, like that twelve thirteen age group, 0:37:14.840 --> 0:37:17.320 you're speaking to them and you're kind of getting feedback 0:37:17.640 --> 0:37:20.840 of like lots of kind of shock from the people 0:37:20.840 --> 0:37:22.080 we were speaking to a little bit been like, oh, 0:37:22.120 --> 0:37:23.879 we haven't really heard of these concepts before, this isn't 0:37:23.960 --> 0:37:25.799 entirely relevant to us yet, blah blah blah, And then 0:37:25.840 --> 0:37:27.880 you speak to them one year later, you're speaking to 0:37:27.960 --> 0:37:30.520 the fourteen to fifteen year old and every single time, 0:37:30.680 --> 0:37:32.760 why didn't you tell us this? Like why isn't this earlier. 0:37:32.760 --> 0:37:35.240 Why wasn't this before? It's too late, And I feel 0:37:35.239 --> 0:37:38.279 like that, like really pivotal transition year in those early 0:37:38.360 --> 0:37:42.399 teens is when things just kind of really kick off 0:37:42.400 --> 0:37:44.319 for a lot of people. So it's really important to 0:37:44.520 --> 0:37:46.160 get it in before that. But we were getting it 0:37:46.160 --> 0:37:48.160 away after the fact. They gave us o consent talk 0:37:48.200 --> 0:37:50.839 when the majority of the year group was sixteen, which 0:37:50.880 --> 0:37:53.480 means we were legally allowed to consent to sex. But 0:37:53.520 --> 0:37:56.320 that seems pretty stupid to me because it's after the fact. 0:37:56.960 --> 0:38:00.759 I honestly like I have been racking my brain trying 0:38:00.760 --> 0:38:02.719 to think back. And I'm a bit older than you, 0:38:02.760 --> 0:38:04.239 but I've been racking my brain trying to think back 0:38:04.280 --> 0:38:07.759 if we had that talk at all in like our 0:38:07.800 --> 0:38:10.799 pe and sex education, and I genuinely don't remember ever 0:38:10.880 --> 0:38:16.359 having a conversation about consent. It was only ever, don't 0:38:16.400 --> 0:38:20.399 get pregnant, this is how you wear a condom, don't 0:38:20.400 --> 0:38:22.200 have sex. That was pretty much it. And so I 0:38:22.239 --> 0:38:24.560 feel like we've come a long way with the help 0:38:24.640 --> 0:38:28.120 of people like yourself. But I know because I have 0:38:28.200 --> 0:38:29.759 read and I know the story, but I know there 0:38:29.840 --> 0:38:33.560 is quite a pivotal story, a fundamental story with something 0:38:33.600 --> 0:38:35.960 that happened to your friend that you were obviously involved in. 0:38:36.400 --> 0:38:38.239 Are you happy to share that on the podcast now? 0:38:38.560 --> 0:38:40.239 It sort of sets the scene as to what really 0:38:40.280 --> 0:38:43.839 pushed you and your drive to get these changes that friend. 0:38:43.880 --> 0:38:46.880 I was talking about that last conversation when I was 0:38:46.880 --> 0:38:49.000 speaking to them and they were crying, and that experience 0:38:49.000 --> 0:38:52.280 for them was. Yeah, we were fourteen fifteen or something 0:38:52.719 --> 0:38:56.600 at a house party and essentially walked into a room 0:38:56.640 --> 0:38:58.640 because one of my friends came up to me and 0:38:58.680 --> 0:39:01.440 was like, have you seen you know our friends missing? 0:39:01.719 --> 0:39:03.720 Like we are they all these people were huddled around 0:39:03.719 --> 0:39:05.880 a door and we kind of like pushed through to 0:39:05.920 --> 0:39:09.719 the front and our friend was like topless on the bed, 0:39:10.000 --> 0:39:14.600 pants pulled down, boy on top of them, belt undone, 0:39:14.960 --> 0:39:18.880 you know, everything out And yeah, I remember one of 0:39:18.920 --> 0:39:21.480 my friends like pushing our other friend off the bed 0:39:21.520 --> 0:39:24.040 so no one could see her boobs because everyone was watching. 0:39:24.920 --> 0:39:29.120 And then a room full of people, so again it's 0:39:29.160 --> 0:39:32.840 just a testament to the normalization of this behavior. Completely 0:39:32.920 --> 0:39:38.000 watching bystanders to this, and then me and my friends 0:39:38.000 --> 0:39:40.680 who stopped it, got booed out of the party and 0:39:40.719 --> 0:39:44.040 got called cock box by one of the like girls 0:39:44.040 --> 0:39:47.560 at the party. They again like just testament to what 0:39:47.600 --> 0:39:51.240 that meant. Our friend was completely unconscious, like completely limb 0:39:51.239 --> 0:39:54.400 when they fell off the bed. And Yeah, we left 0:39:54.520 --> 0:39:57.120 that party being annoyed that we got boot out of 0:39:57.120 --> 0:40:00.680 it more than thinking oh, we're just we're to crime. 0:40:01.160 --> 0:40:03.000 None of us ever really spoke about it again until 0:40:03.000 --> 0:40:04.799 we got that consent talk and we're like, oh my god, 0:40:05.000 --> 0:40:06.319 that was That's what that was. 0:40:06.719 --> 0:40:09.560 I read your story and you were saying when you 0:40:09.600 --> 0:40:12.160 when you left the party, there was like not really 0:40:12.239 --> 0:40:14.520 like you just said this understanding of what had just happened, 0:40:14.560 --> 0:40:18.839 that not understanding that this was constituting sexual assault. And 0:40:18.920 --> 0:40:22.360 so months go by or years go by. How do 0:40:22.400 --> 0:40:25.400 you then process when you do discover you become an adult, 0:40:25.440 --> 0:40:28.480 you understand what sexual assault is, you understand what rape is. 0:40:29.000 --> 0:40:30.160 To then look back on. 0:40:30.120 --> 0:40:33.080 An experience and go, that happened to my friend and 0:40:33.120 --> 0:40:36.640 I was witnessed to that, how do you then compartmentalize that? 0:40:36.760 --> 0:40:37.879 How do you work through that? 0:40:38.080 --> 0:40:40.200 I mean, that's really weird. And the thing is, I 0:40:40.200 --> 0:40:43.040 think like, over the last year, I've had hundreds of 0:40:43.040 --> 0:40:45.920 people tell me that they've gone through that experience. You know, 0:40:45.960 --> 0:40:49.319 I've been told that they I've had fully grown women 0:40:49.440 --> 0:40:51.680 told me they didn't realize that their experience is counter 0:40:51.800 --> 0:40:55.279 sexual assault or rape until these kind of intricacyears were 0:40:55.320 --> 0:40:57.560 drawn out about what consent looks like in a more 0:40:57.600 --> 0:41:01.480 public domain. And it's weird, Like, hindsight realization that you've 0:41:01.480 --> 0:41:03.400 been sexually assaulted is a really weird thing, because you 0:41:03.400 --> 0:41:05.120 also feel like a lot of agency has taken off you. 0:41:05.160 --> 0:41:05.880 It's not as if you have. 0:41:05.920 --> 0:41:07.880 The opportunity to, you know, if you did want to 0:41:07.960 --> 0:41:09.680 report it, go and get a rape kit, or it's 0:41:09.719 --> 0:41:12.360 not as if you have the opportunity to remember exactly 0:41:12.440 --> 0:41:14.560 what happened in that night in detail when you find 0:41:14.600 --> 0:41:17.319 out about this thing, yeah, months, years, decades later. 0:41:17.880 --> 0:41:19.080 But it was really strange. 0:41:19.080 --> 0:41:20.600 But it was also kind of like I remember in 0:41:20.640 --> 0:41:24.240 the consent talk, having the hindsight realization that what happened 0:41:24.239 --> 0:41:27.080 to me when I was thirteen counted as rape was 0:41:27.160 --> 0:41:28.879 almost empowering in a way because it was a little 0:41:28.880 --> 0:41:30.799 bit of validating to be like, Okay, I felt really 0:41:30.840 --> 0:41:33.120 weird about that, and all of society told me I 0:41:33.160 --> 0:41:35.640 shouldn't have felt weird about that, but no, I'm actually 0:41:35.800 --> 0:41:37.560 entitled to feel weird about that. 0:41:37.800 --> 0:41:38.279 But I don't know. 0:41:38.320 --> 0:41:41.400 It's very overwhelming, and it's pretty heartbreaking as well. Again 0:41:41.560 --> 0:41:44.160 kind of the epitome of the injustice of what our 0:41:44.200 --> 0:41:47.080 education system has done so far that there's also been 0:41:47.120 --> 0:41:48.960 lots of people who have had the high sight realization 0:41:49.000 --> 0:41:50.800 that they've perpetrated sexual assault. 0:41:51.239 --> 0:41:53.880 It really does highlight and I feel like it's almost 0:41:53.920 --> 0:41:55.960 like where do you begin. It really does highlight the 0:41:56.000 --> 0:42:00.080 fact that there were so many people watching on but 0:42:00.160 --> 0:42:02.480 this didn't even raise a flag that what was happening 0:42:02.560 --> 0:42:06.720 was a problem. And then the throwaway comment from another 0:42:06.760 --> 0:42:10.600 female that you girls are cock blockers because you literally 0:42:10.640 --> 0:42:14.920 stopped a rape. When was it that your like, did 0:42:14.960 --> 0:42:17.160 your friend know what had happened? Did you guys ever 0:42:17.239 --> 0:42:19.520 talk about it? Did you explain to her what had happened, 0:42:19.600 --> 0:42:22.279 or was it something that you thought, oh, it's better 0:42:22.280 --> 0:42:24.600 she doesn't know if you know, if she was unconscious 0:42:24.719 --> 0:42:26.239 because and this is just because you didn't have the 0:42:26.360 --> 0:42:30.000 education around it. What did the foreseeable future look like 0:42:30.080 --> 0:42:30.760 after that event? 0:42:31.200 --> 0:42:33.680 I mean I barely remember. It was so insignificant. I 0:42:33.680 --> 0:42:36.000 think we all had to sleepover that night and the 0:42:36.120 --> 0:42:37.920 next morning we're probably like, oh my god, you were 0:42:37.920 --> 0:42:40.880 so drunk last night and this kind of happened, like 0:42:40.960 --> 0:42:43.600 I don't know, speaking to them about it, I guess 0:42:43.640 --> 0:42:45.560 they said it was I was. Actually I was speaking 0:42:45.600 --> 0:42:48.200 to the other friend who stopped this with me the 0:42:48.239 --> 0:42:51.719 other day actually, and we were saying how horrible we 0:42:51.760 --> 0:42:54.040 feel that we never addressed it. Yeah, it was just sleef, 0:42:54.120 --> 0:42:56.720 completely unaddressed. And when I confided in my friends about 0:42:57.000 --> 0:43:00.600 my experience with sexual assault, it was just kind of 0:43:00.600 --> 0:43:03.040 like a yeah, that's what older boys do. It wasn't 0:43:03.080 --> 0:43:06.239 a yeah, it's just complete ignorance from all angles, which 0:43:06.239 --> 0:43:08.120 is also why we can't really like there's not really 0:43:08.160 --> 0:43:10.520 anyone we can blame for this situation. It's since a 0:43:10.560 --> 0:43:11.560 culture we've created. 0:43:12.239 --> 0:43:14.279 So now this was like the huge catalyst for your 0:43:14.320 --> 0:43:18.160 twenty twenty one petition, And now when you started this, 0:43:18.280 --> 0:43:19.839 it was it wasn't even a petition at the start. 0:43:19.880 --> 0:43:21.600 It was just a poll that you put up on 0:43:21.640 --> 0:43:23.960 Instagram on social media. Can you talk us through a 0:43:24.000 --> 0:43:26.600 little bit about what the poll was and how you 0:43:26.719 --> 0:43:27.320 use this. 0:43:27.840 --> 0:43:31.640 So a person Instagram poll only enough. I was actually 0:43:31.719 --> 0:43:34.960 going to tag the boy who did it to my 0:43:35.000 --> 0:43:37.799 friend and the boy who did it to me. Oh 0:43:37.800 --> 0:43:40.920 thank god, I didn't on my story, But I. 0:43:40.840 --> 0:43:43.880 Mean, why do you say now just out of curiosity, 0:43:43.880 --> 0:43:45.480 why do you say thank god you didn't. I mean, 0:43:45.520 --> 0:43:47.520 I know that it's not something you don't want to 0:43:47.520 --> 0:43:49.239 publicly do, but is there was there a part of 0:43:49.239 --> 0:43:51.120 you that's like, oh, it's gotten so big now I 0:43:51.160 --> 0:43:52.839 would have hated for people to have known who did 0:43:52.880 --> 0:43:54.680 it or what stems from that. 0:43:54.800 --> 0:43:57.920 Ah, defamation. I don't know what defamation was before this 0:43:58.000 --> 0:44:04.360 petition and since have my first share of encounters with defamation, right, Yeah, 0:44:04.360 --> 0:44:07.040 which is such a shame and such a silencing of 0:44:07.200 --> 0:44:11.280 the Australian legal system of women and victims in general. 0:44:11.400 --> 0:44:13.160 Well, just showing that the victim is a person that's 0:44:13.200 --> 0:44:16.040 been silenced here, Like the problem is you're trying to say, hey, 0:44:16.360 --> 0:44:18.040 you're trying to add a rapist and the person that's 0:44:18.040 --> 0:44:20.360 getting into trouble is yourself the victim. 0:44:20.520 --> 0:44:23.520 Yeah, because I can imagine trying to prove that eight 0:44:23.600 --> 0:44:25.880 ten years after the fact, Like it's kind of laughable 0:44:25.960 --> 0:44:28.120 to think ever even bothering to try and go through 0:44:28.120 --> 0:44:31.240 the criminal system for any sort of justice or accountability 0:44:31.239 --> 0:44:33.760 for my perpetrator. And also because it was it's bigger 0:44:33.800 --> 0:44:36.480 than that like, my whole point was that this happens 0:44:36.520 --> 0:44:39.080 to everyone, and acting as if it was just two 0:44:39.080 --> 0:44:41.040 boys doing this would have actually been quite kind of 0:44:41.040 --> 0:44:43.480 productive in hindsight, even though I was really angry at 0:44:43.520 --> 0:44:46.000 the time and really wanted to, you know, expose them 0:44:46.000 --> 0:44:48.120 and then to feel negative emotions of a sort, I guess, 0:44:48.160 --> 0:44:50.520 and I guess I'm a vindictive way, but this whole 0:44:50.560 --> 0:44:55.600 thing is about structures and changing scapegoating two people, and 0:44:55.600 --> 0:44:57.719 that would have almost been counterproductive because then people can 0:44:57.760 --> 0:44:59.000 think that they're not part of the problem. 0:44:59.200 --> 0:45:00.960 And I think as well, on top of that, like 0:45:01.080 --> 0:45:03.920 these are children doing it to each other, and children 0:45:04.000 --> 0:45:07.240 who haven't necessarily as much as we say as women, 0:45:07.320 --> 0:45:09.759 we weren't educated on what consent is. I think there's 0:45:09.800 --> 0:45:12.680 a huge lacking for boys and for men to have 0:45:12.719 --> 0:45:15.560 been educated. So in a lot of ways, the system 0:45:15.600 --> 0:45:17.720 has failed them just as much as it has failed 0:45:17.719 --> 0:45:20.120 the women. And I'm not saying that there is an 0:45:20.120 --> 0:45:23.560 excuse that means that this behavior is acceptable, but I 0:45:23.600 --> 0:45:26.440 would hope that there are some men who have grown 0:45:26.840 --> 0:45:29.160 who now look back on that behavior that they may 0:45:29.160 --> 0:45:30.680 have done when they were in year eight or year 0:45:30.719 --> 0:45:34.279 nine or year ten and go maybe they don't even 0:45:34.400 --> 0:45:37.200 remember it, or they're like, holy shit, I can't believe 0:45:37.200 --> 0:45:40.319 that I had done that, you know, And as they're mortified, 0:45:40.360 --> 0:45:42.520 you would hope, you know. But I just think that, like, 0:45:42.880 --> 0:45:45.960 if this conversation wasn't happening amongst girls and with women, 0:45:46.080 --> 0:45:48.280 and that they weren't identifying that they had been raped, 0:45:48.520 --> 0:45:50.440 and as you kind of mentioned earlier, there would be 0:45:50.480 --> 0:45:53.400 a whole group of men in this conversation who probably 0:45:53.400 --> 0:45:56.160 at the time didn't identify what they were doing either. 0:45:56.360 --> 0:45:57.160 One hundred percent. 0:45:57.239 --> 0:45:59.560 And can guarantee that is the case because of dozens 0:45:59.560 --> 0:46:02.160 of conversations I've had and many many messages I've received 0:46:02.200 --> 0:46:03.279 saying that exact same thing. 0:46:03.560 --> 0:46:05.920 So what were the results of the poll? You've popped 0:46:05.920 --> 0:46:08.360 this poll up? You didn't tag the men of the boys. 0:46:08.440 --> 0:46:09.759 But what happened from then? 0:46:10.200 --> 0:46:13.360 So I ended up asking instead of calling out two people, 0:46:13.360 --> 0:46:15.520 I ended up asking, have you or has anyone close 0:46:15.520 --> 0:46:17.839 to you ever been sexually assaulted by someone who went 0:46:17.880 --> 0:46:21.200 to a single sex school in Sydney? And it was 0:46:21.680 --> 0:46:24.399 I think seventy three or seventy four percent yes. And 0:46:24.800 --> 0:46:27.080 this was just to my immediate Instagram following at the time, 0:46:27.080 --> 0:46:29.120 which was not at all large, and I think that 0:46:29.239 --> 0:46:32.000 was like two hundred and three people saying yes, something 0:46:32.040 --> 0:46:34.080 like that, two hundred and four people saying yes. Then 0:46:34.239 --> 0:46:36.080 the next poll was if you went to a single 0:46:36.080 --> 0:46:37.799 sex school in Sydney, do you think one of your 0:46:37.800 --> 0:46:42.440 friends has ever sexually assaulted someone? And the numbers for 0:46:42.600 --> 0:46:44.440 yes on that were way lower, which was kind of 0:46:44.440 --> 0:46:46.120 like proved my point. And then my next thing was 0:46:46.200 --> 0:46:48.080 would you be willing to sign a petition to demand 0:46:48.160 --> 0:46:50.200 for better consider education? And then would you be willing 0:46:50.200 --> 0:46:54.480 to submit testimonies to amplify the desperate need for this. 0:46:55.160 --> 0:46:58.000 After that happened, they just like started coming in this 0:46:58.160 --> 0:47:01.800 soone coming in slowly, and then after about twenty four hours, 0:47:02.040 --> 0:47:04.360 my dams couldn't even reload that they were coming in 0:47:04.400 --> 0:47:05.000 so quickly. 0:47:05.040 --> 0:47:06.640 I couldn't even read them and post them. 0:47:07.080 --> 0:47:10.160 Well, you now have six seven hundred and fifty six 0:47:10.280 --> 0:47:14.120 testimonies on your website from women who have been sexually assaulted, 0:47:14.239 --> 0:47:17.000 and you have forty four thousand, seven hundred and ninety 0:47:17.040 --> 0:47:20.600 eight signatures. I mean, that's harrowing in itself, but it's 0:47:20.680 --> 0:47:24.359 absolutely unbelievable that the amount something that started off as 0:47:24.360 --> 0:47:26.960 a social media poll, and where you say you put 0:47:26.960 --> 0:47:29.600 out there to say, like let's see what we can 0:47:29.680 --> 0:47:31.880 get or let's see what other women have been affected 0:47:31.880 --> 0:47:34.719 by this, that there is an absolute army out there 0:47:34.760 --> 0:47:36.920 of women who've experienced the same thing that you have. 0:47:37.320 --> 0:47:39.320 What did you hope at the time when you actually 0:47:39.360 --> 0:47:41.200 set out to do this, to achieve from that poll 0:47:41.280 --> 0:47:43.360 or to achieve from doing this petition? 0:47:43.840 --> 0:47:45.040 What was the original goal? 0:47:45.440 --> 0:47:47.640 So my original flight again, like I just posed this 0:47:47.680 --> 0:47:49.880 to manage the Instagram following. I never thought about the 0:47:49.880 --> 0:47:51.759 fact that people beyond that would kind of see it. 0:47:52.280 --> 0:47:54.320 And my plan was to get all these old schools 0:47:54.320 --> 0:47:56.640 in this kind of ecosystem of Synese and some of 0:47:56.680 --> 0:47:58.920 the schools that all interact with each other or friends 0:47:58.920 --> 0:47:59.319 with each other. 0:47:59.400 --> 0:48:00.000 Blah blah blah. 0:48:00.600 --> 0:48:02.520 I basically one of my old school and the nearby 0:48:02.520 --> 0:48:06.279 schools to teach concenter education earlier and better. And I 0:48:06.320 --> 0:48:09.560 mean literally, if I had could have gotten my school 0:48:09.600 --> 0:48:13.120 and the kind of two brotherish schools nearby to start 0:48:13.200 --> 0:48:16.960 doing that, I would have been pretty satisfied. The thing 0:48:17.000 --> 0:48:20.480 with single sex schools is their private institutions, and private 0:48:20.520 --> 0:48:24.279 institutions have resources to get in external speakers and they 0:48:24.320 --> 0:48:27.399 have flexibility to work outside of the school curriculum, And 0:48:27.440 --> 0:48:30.279 it never for a second crossed my mind that it 0:48:30.320 --> 0:48:34.239 would be able to using the power of the tens 0:48:34.280 --> 0:48:37.080 of thousands who signed the petition, have the chance to 0:48:37.120 --> 0:48:39.480 work at this at a state or federal level. So 0:48:39.520 --> 0:48:41.200 it just didn't cross my mind that I could ever 0:48:41.400 --> 0:48:43.640 kind of have any sort of influence in the public 0:48:43.640 --> 0:48:44.400 school system. 0:48:44.680 --> 0:48:45.920 Now, can you you touched on it? 0:48:45.960 --> 0:48:47.520 We've spoken about a little bit, but I think it's 0:48:47.520 --> 0:48:50.960 so important to define what it is. Can you explain 0:48:51.040 --> 0:48:52.840 to the listeners what is rape culture? 0:48:53.640 --> 0:48:59.759 So rape culture is a setting where our attitudes to 0:49:00.200 --> 0:49:04.879 gender and sexuality and our expectations of them lead to 0:49:04.920 --> 0:49:09.239 a situation where sexual violence and rape become normalized. When 0:49:09.239 --> 0:49:11.480 I say that, some people find that quite extreme and 0:49:11.560 --> 0:49:14.480 dramatic and think like, oh, we don't normalize rape. 0:49:14.480 --> 0:49:16.080 No one, no one approves a rapist. 0:49:16.160 --> 0:49:19.279 But when you actually break down and start thinking about it, 0:49:19.520 --> 0:49:21.640 you know, instead of things like a cat calling is 0:49:21.680 --> 0:49:26.000 a pretty common experience for people in Australia, especially women. 0:49:26.440 --> 0:49:28.399 That's a form of sexual harassment that I don't think 0:49:28.480 --> 0:49:31.600 has that again language equipped to it in the public eye. 0:49:32.000 --> 0:49:34.439 You know, all these kind of little things. Rape jokes 0:49:34.440 --> 0:49:39.520 are really common. This kind of expectation of male sexual 0:49:39.520 --> 0:49:43.520 satisfaction being at the center of sexual interactions and such 0:49:43.560 --> 0:49:48.680 a dismissive view on female sexuality and how that should 0:49:48.719 --> 0:49:53.120 be played out often leads to situations where women can 0:49:53.160 --> 0:49:58.080 be extremely uncomfortable. And again, like our expectations about gender 0:49:58.120 --> 0:50:02.000 and sexuality, so like very strict, gentive norms about what 0:50:02.800 --> 0:50:04.920 women's role should be and what a man's role should be, 0:50:05.080 --> 0:50:07.560 and what this should look like in the bedroom, and 0:50:08.480 --> 0:50:12.960 you know, the massive the kind of constant discourse of like, oh, 0:50:13.280 --> 0:50:15.000 boys are going to chase you and that's okay, you 0:50:15.040 --> 0:50:18.680 just have to reject them, and not empowering women to 0:50:18.800 --> 0:50:23.279 have sexualities in their own right and actually taking any 0:50:23.280 --> 0:50:25.040 sort of like authority over that, and then at the 0:50:25.040 --> 0:50:29.360 same time normalizing situations where coercion becomes common and boundaries 0:50:29.360 --> 0:50:32.680 are constantly pushed and massive empathy out between girls and boys. 0:50:32.760 --> 0:50:34.840 It's kind of hard to summarize in a sentence, but 0:50:34.880 --> 0:50:37.200 it basically means that. I mean, if you look at 0:50:37.480 --> 0:50:41.200 statistics of not just reporting but criminalize it, like how 0:50:41.200 --> 0:50:44.360 many people who do report end up in jail in Australia, 0:50:44.560 --> 0:50:47.320 and how common this problem is. Again taking into account 0:50:47.320 --> 0:50:50.080 the insane rates of underreporting of sexual violence due to 0:50:50.080 --> 0:50:51.759 the lack of justice that often comes out of it, 0:50:51.800 --> 0:50:54.799 and the kind of lack of nuance understanding in that 0:50:54.920 --> 0:50:57.759 space and how it deals with it, we've essentially legalized 0:50:57.880 --> 0:51:00.200 rape in our society. Like I mean, I remember having 0:51:00.239 --> 0:51:02.719 a conversation. I was away with some friends, and I 0:51:02.719 --> 0:51:04.600 remember being out by the fire and for some reason, 0:51:04.640 --> 0:51:05.839 all the girls were inside of that station. 0:51:05.960 --> 0:51:07.600 It was just all the boys of me. 0:51:07.640 --> 0:51:09.719 And I remember saying to them, like, it's socially acceptable 0:51:09.760 --> 0:51:12.640 to rape someone. And they're all like, that's absolutely ridiculous. 0:51:12.640 --> 0:51:14.520 It's like they're all disagreeing and meah blah blah blah. 0:51:14.600 --> 0:51:16.279 And I was literally like to them, I can name 0:51:16.320 --> 0:51:19.759 you ten people right now of your friends who you 0:51:19.800 --> 0:51:23.440 socialize with, whoever raped someone. And I can't name a 0:51:23.480 --> 0:51:25.239 single person who's ever gone to jail for this that 0:51:25.280 --> 0:51:25.520 we know. 0:51:25.840 --> 0:51:26.359 And then I did. 0:51:26.400 --> 0:51:28.120 I name ten boys that were the year above them, 0:51:28.200 --> 0:51:31.200 year below them, mutual friends at nearby schools, and they 0:51:31.200 --> 0:51:33.040 were all just like sitting there, stunted, and I was like, 0:51:33.080 --> 0:51:34.640 can you name me a single person who's ever gone 0:51:34.640 --> 0:51:36.480 to jail for rape and you all hang out with 0:51:36.520 --> 0:51:38.160 these people, you all say hello to them. They've never 0:51:38.160 --> 0:51:40.000 been excluded from any sort of social event. It is 0:51:40.000 --> 0:51:42.440 completely socially acceptable to be a rapist in our society, 0:51:42.880 --> 0:51:44.920 and that's the epitome of rape culture. 0:51:44.960 --> 0:51:47.279 Was the response from the boys around this fire that 0:51:47.360 --> 0:51:49.799 you're that you're saying, okay, look all these are your 0:51:49.800 --> 0:51:53.360 friends that are associates that have raped someone? Was their response? 0:51:53.640 --> 0:51:53.960 Shock? 0:51:54.360 --> 0:51:57.080 Disbelief? Did they say you were lying? There's no way. 0:51:57.160 --> 0:51:59.600 Do you think that they knew at a certain level? Like, 0:51:59.640 --> 0:52:00.920 what was the response in that moment? 0:52:01.080 --> 0:52:03.080 They didn't say you were lying? I mean, yeah, these 0:52:03.080 --> 0:52:05.960 are my close friends, so they obviously like trusted me 0:52:06.040 --> 0:52:09.320 and believed me and I had there was no agenda. 0:52:09.360 --> 0:52:11.040 There's no point of me to just randomly make up 0:52:11.080 --> 0:52:13.280 ten names. They would have known many of the stories 0:52:13.280 --> 0:52:15.040 I were I was talking about. I think it was 0:52:15.040 --> 0:52:17.239 probably mainly shocked, but more perspective, I think I think 0:52:17.239 --> 0:52:19.279 it would have been like a oh, but I mean, 0:52:19.280 --> 0:52:22.120 out of them alter their behavior. I haven't seen anyone 0:52:22.360 --> 0:52:25.359 be socially ostracized for this, and which is actually an 0:52:25.360 --> 0:52:27.719 interesting one because when you think about how common this 0:52:27.760 --> 0:52:30.160 is and how many people have perpetrated a sexual assault. 0:52:30.160 --> 0:52:33.160 It's actually not feasible to genuinely ostracize every single person 0:52:33.160 --> 0:52:36.080 who has sexually assaulted someone. I think the focus should actually, 0:52:36.600 --> 0:52:40.520 given what you said before about the boys and men 0:52:40.600 --> 0:52:42.319 not knowing and it not being fair on them as 0:52:42.360 --> 0:52:46.319 well to perpetrate this, the focus in like hindsight should 0:52:46.320 --> 0:52:51.200 actually be more on is accountability being taken, acknowledgment, apology, 0:52:51.440 --> 0:52:53.120 what are they doing now going forward? How do they 0:52:53.120 --> 0:52:55.840 treat people around them now going forward? Because it actually 0:52:55.920 --> 0:52:58.160 if every rapist in Australia just like click of the 0:52:58.160 --> 0:53:01.080 fingers disappeared right now, our whole would collapse. 0:53:01.160 --> 0:53:02.120 Yeah, that's very culture. 0:53:02.520 --> 0:53:04.879 I just speak from like my experiences, for not when 0:53:04.920 --> 0:53:07.560 I was a teenager and I started going to parties. 0:53:07.680 --> 0:53:09.839 I mean I remember being at a party and there 0:53:09.880 --> 0:53:12.880 was a girl passed out in a bathroom or way 0:53:12.920 --> 0:53:14.719 too drunk to be able to be having sex with 0:53:14.719 --> 0:53:15.000 the guy. 0:53:15.080 --> 0:53:16.480 I don't know whether she was past that or not, 0:53:16.960 --> 0:53:18.239 but there was like, oh, but. 0:53:18.200 --> 0:53:20.160 They were hooking up earlier in the night, so like 0:53:20.239 --> 0:53:24.280 obviously it was like consensual. Now understanding as an adult 0:53:24.360 --> 0:53:27.680 and really understanding what consent is that that's not fucking consensual. 0:53:27.960 --> 0:53:30.200 But at the time, because they had been hooking up 0:53:30.200 --> 0:53:32.919 earlier in the night, there was to everybody there that 0:53:32.920 --> 0:53:34.719 that was kind of just what was going to happen. 0:53:34.800 --> 0:53:37.120 It was a bit, yeah, they're together tonight, Yeah, that's 0:53:37.160 --> 0:53:37.520 their thing. 0:53:37.680 --> 0:53:38.080 Yeah. 0:53:38.239 --> 0:53:40.600 And it's only with the lens of retrospect that I 0:53:40.600 --> 0:53:42.520 look at that experience when I think I would have 0:53:42.560 --> 0:53:44.920 been fifteen or sixteen, and I go, wow, that's that 0:53:45.040 --> 0:53:48.120 was fucked, absolutely fucked. Like I haven't seen the girl 0:53:48.160 --> 0:53:50.000 in almost twenty years, do you know what I mean? Like, 0:53:50.040 --> 0:53:52.480 that's how long ago that experience is for me. 0:53:52.760 --> 0:53:58.160 But I even have friends now, in conversation still as grown, intelligent, 0:53:58.400 --> 0:54:02.560 mature women that will say that they're in a situation. 0:54:02.640 --> 0:54:06.600 I actually had this conversation four nights ago with a 0:54:06.600 --> 0:54:09.000 friend and she's like, she ran into the guy and 0:54:09.040 --> 0:54:11.560 she got a little bit triggered, and I was like, 0:54:11.800 --> 0:54:14.520 are you okay. She's like, yeah, long story short. She's like, 0:54:14.640 --> 0:54:16.640 I had sex with him, but I didn't want to. 0:54:17.000 --> 0:54:20.400 I was like, what why. She's like, Oh, it was 0:54:20.440 --> 0:54:20.759 just there. 0:54:20.800 --> 0:54:21.480 It was in the moment. 0:54:21.480 --> 0:54:23.600 It was easier to just do it than not. And 0:54:23.640 --> 0:54:25.000 she's like it was almost like she didn't want to 0:54:25.000 --> 0:54:27.960 cause a scene. And I just had this feeling, and 0:54:28.040 --> 0:54:29.640 of course I knew we were speaking to you, and 0:54:29.680 --> 0:54:31.920 I just had this feeling of how many women out 0:54:31.920 --> 0:54:34.000 there don't realize that just because you've gotten to the 0:54:34.040 --> 0:54:36.359 point that you're in the bedroom, like and we've said 0:54:36.360 --> 0:54:38.759 it before on the podcast, you could have his penis 0:54:38.800 --> 0:54:41.040 inside you and change your mind. And that is a 0:54:41.120 --> 0:54:44.280 change of consent. And that is something that obviously women 0:54:44.360 --> 0:54:46.800 still need to learn as well as men too, that 0:54:46.920 --> 0:54:49.480 it's not causing a scene. You're entitled to change your 0:54:49.480 --> 0:54:51.280 mind at any time, and that consent changes. 0:54:51.520 --> 0:54:53.799 There's some really interesting studies on when they were trying 0:54:53.800 --> 0:54:56.920 to like stop like when they were measuring sexual assault 0:54:56.920 --> 0:54:59.440 and rape and China site to encount sexual coercion and 0:54:59.440 --> 0:55:02.120 all this sort of and sticks they started changing language 0:55:02.120 --> 0:55:06.680 and surveys to pressurize sex or for sex instead of rape, 0:55:06.719 --> 0:55:10.600 and like race skyrocketed because people felt much more comfortable 0:55:10.960 --> 0:55:14.320 associating with that description than they would the word rape. 0:55:14.400 --> 0:55:17.480 Well, and I think sometimes because rape, we think that 0:55:17.520 --> 0:55:19.560 it has to have violence attached to it. It has 0:55:19.600 --> 0:55:21.560 to be like like you're walking down a dark alley 0:55:21.560 --> 0:55:23.560 and a guy drags you into a corner. You were 0:55:23.560 --> 0:55:26.480 completely sober and you screened no. Like we have grown 0:55:26.560 --> 0:55:29.359 up with a very fixed version of what that is. 0:55:29.440 --> 0:55:32.279 But over time, and I know the conversations I've been 0:55:32.320 --> 0:55:35.399 seeing happening more so in the media, like what you're 0:55:35.440 --> 0:55:39.240 doing within schools, the conversation around what actually constitutes consent 0:55:39.640 --> 0:55:42.279 has been a lot more defined for people to be 0:55:42.280 --> 0:55:44.520 able to see where they stand within that conversation. 0:55:45.239 --> 0:55:48.680 So how did it go from your Instagram with a 0:55:48.680 --> 0:55:52.560 couple hundred people poll to just your school to you 0:55:52.640 --> 0:55:57.280 literally now changing the curriculum around Australia, around the country, 0:55:57.320 --> 0:56:00.320 because congratulations, that is huge. I remember when the petition 0:56:00.400 --> 0:56:03.719 came out. I signed it, I find it, I shared it, 0:56:03.800 --> 0:56:04.920 and I always thought about it. 0:56:04.960 --> 0:56:05.279 On the way. 0:56:05.280 --> 0:56:07.920 We were like this girl, I mean like, we're like, 0:56:07.960 --> 0:56:10.799 how incredible is this? This young girl is making these 0:56:10.920 --> 0:56:12.680 huge waves and we took our hat off to you. 0:56:12.719 --> 0:56:15.480 But how did you get from just this girl in 0:56:15.520 --> 0:56:17.839 a room being like, fuck you, I'm putting you on 0:56:17.840 --> 0:56:21.239 my gram to changing the way schools teach? 0:56:21.320 --> 0:56:22.480 Because it's huge. 0:56:22.680 --> 0:56:24.400 I think it just happened because of how many people 0:56:24.440 --> 0:56:26.799 started supporting it. And getting behind it and sharing it 0:56:26.840 --> 0:56:29.560 on social media and signing the petition and having conversations 0:56:29.560 --> 0:56:32.680 with principals and friends and family and parents and everyone. 0:56:33.000 --> 0:56:34.680 I think it was literally just like the masses that 0:56:34.760 --> 0:56:36.840 pushed it into that space, which just meant like, slowly 0:56:36.840 --> 0:56:39.279 and incrementally, I kept meeting with people and higher and 0:56:39.360 --> 0:56:41.520 hire positions of power, and the reason they were accepting 0:56:41.520 --> 0:56:44.319 this meetings was because of public pressure being put on 0:56:44.400 --> 0:56:47.080 by mainly young women on Instagram, which is pretty phenomenal, 0:56:47.200 --> 0:56:49.799 I think, to the point of, you know, finally meeting 0:56:49.880 --> 0:56:51.440 with the Prime Minister of Australia to have this sort 0:56:51.480 --> 0:56:55.840 of conversation and yeah, education ministers from around the country 0:56:56.200 --> 0:56:58.279 like slowly one by one getting in contact with them, 0:56:58.360 --> 0:57:00.640 working with them. But yeah, I really just give us 0:57:00.680 --> 0:57:03.600 because it was the masses that pushed this into a 0:57:03.600 --> 0:57:05.800 public priority of political priority. 0:57:06.000 --> 0:57:07.680 You were like, oly, shit, I don't have a choice. Now, 0:57:07.760 --> 0:57:10.200 You're like, this is my this is is what I'm doing. 0:57:10.600 --> 0:57:12.880 Gotta do this, Yeah, and it jumped really quickly. It's 0:57:12.920 --> 0:57:16.520 my Instagram pot was like sitting a single sex education whatever. 0:57:16.720 --> 0:57:19.360 And then as soon as I realized that testimonies were 0:57:19.360 --> 0:57:21.120 coming in from everywhere, and I thought like, oh, maybe 0:57:21.120 --> 0:57:24.320 this could be something more. The launch of the website 0:57:24.440 --> 0:57:26.880 was for Australia wide, so the petition of the website 0:57:27.000 --> 0:57:29.200 was all schools in Australia, So it was a very 0:57:29.280 --> 0:57:31.400 quick like oh, we've got people on this, let's do it. 0:57:31.640 --> 0:57:34.120 I also feel like twenty twenty one has been it 0:57:34.160 --> 0:57:37.120 was like a real year for shift in perception. It 0:57:37.160 --> 0:57:39.320 was like a year of reckoning when it comes to 0:57:39.360 --> 0:57:43.640 sexual assault survivors and the sexual assault conversation. You know, 0:57:43.920 --> 0:57:47.600 we had Britney Higgins, We've had Grace Tame being Australian 0:57:47.600 --> 0:57:50.520 of the Year, and then we've had your incredible changes 0:57:50.560 --> 0:57:54.040 in legislation around consent conversation in schools. Why do you 0:57:54.200 --> 0:57:56.520 think that this has all come to a head at 0:57:56.560 --> 0:57:58.800 the same time, Like, what do you think has happened 0:57:59.120 --> 0:58:02.080 that in twenty twenty one has really forced the conversation 0:58:02.200 --> 0:58:05.240 around sexual assault survivors to the forefront of not just 0:58:05.360 --> 0:58:06.880 media but also in politics. 0:58:07.240 --> 0:58:09.600 I think that I mean, obviously we've been this has 0:58:09.640 --> 0:58:11.960 built off decades and decades of work in this space, 0:58:12.040 --> 0:58:15.160 like centuries, you know, a lot of it spearheaded by 0:58:15.560 --> 0:58:18.440 intersexually marginalized communities like women of color. 0:58:18.560 --> 0:58:20.280 I think there was just like a good. 0:58:20.320 --> 0:58:24.520 Interaction between Grace and Brittany and teacher's consent showing you know, 0:58:24.600 --> 0:58:26.680 this is a problem that stands all the way from 0:58:26.680 --> 0:58:29.880 school kids, all the way to Parliament, all the intrincies 0:58:29.920 --> 0:58:33.240 in between. It's an abuse of power that crosses generations. 0:58:33.240 --> 0:58:35.200 It's abuse of power that's peer on peer. It's a 0:58:35.200 --> 0:58:37.400 beuti and power that's in the workplace. And I think 0:58:37.440 --> 0:58:39.320 that just kind of like kept it at the forefront. 0:58:39.520 --> 0:58:41.760 Well, you're right that this has been a fight that's 0:58:41.760 --> 0:58:44.240 been going on for decades and centuries. That's absolutely right, 0:58:44.280 --> 0:58:46.280 and I don't think anything has changed in that sense. 0:58:46.320 --> 0:58:49.400 There's always been women finding for these rights, but now 0:58:49.720 --> 0:58:52.480 to have oam well now and as much as we 0:58:52.560 --> 0:58:56.040 can be against social media, things like social media help 0:58:56.120 --> 0:58:56.800 this situation. 0:58:57.040 --> 0:58:58.240 So what does consent look like? 0:58:58.240 --> 0:59:01.280 What does the new curriculum thing to you look like? 0:59:01.480 --> 0:59:04.200 So it's not a public document yet, but it basically 0:59:04.240 --> 0:59:07.760 starts teaching consent and young as kindergarten in a non 0:59:07.800 --> 0:59:12.200 sexual way, asking for permission, denying permission, help seeking strategies, 0:59:12.920 --> 0:59:15.400 and then slowly builds all this information and so finally 0:59:15.600 --> 0:59:18.600 sexual consent is explicitly addressed in the early years of 0:59:18.640 --> 0:59:21.480 high school rather than well, actually before it wasn't in 0:59:21.480 --> 0:59:24.040 that curriculum at all, but yeah, nine and ten. Way, 0:59:24.080 --> 0:59:25.840 if schools choose to do it, they usually put it 0:59:25.840 --> 0:59:28.880 in the end of your ten brings in concepts such 0:59:28.920 --> 0:59:34.880 as power and gender and age to understand the intricacies 0:59:34.920 --> 0:59:36.360 of consent more holy. 0:59:36.520 --> 0:59:40.120 How do you attack the conversations around virginity in schools 0:59:40.320 --> 0:59:43.200 in terms of, like, my, not even consent conversations, but 0:59:43.360 --> 0:59:44.920 sex conversations at school it was. 0:59:44.920 --> 0:59:45.840 All around virginity. 0:59:46.120 --> 0:59:48.920 How is that then factored into this conversation of consent? 0:59:49.120 --> 0:59:51.360 Virgin is an interesting one because virgion is also a 0:59:51.400 --> 0:59:55.840 core concept that plays into rape culture because it puts 0:59:55.880 --> 0:59:59.360 a lot of value on a first sexual experience and 0:59:59.360 --> 1:00:02.440 what that of physically has, because virginity is a social construct. 1:00:02.440 --> 1:00:04.280 But we like imagine it as like, oh, it's when 1:00:04.280 --> 1:00:06.680 your cherry pops, you know, when you're hoymemen breaks, But 1:00:06.720 --> 1:00:09.240 really that happens, you know, that can happen doing anything. 1:00:09.240 --> 1:00:09.720 That can happen. 1:00:09.800 --> 1:00:13.440 Exercising it can happen, horse riding, it can happen, using 1:00:13.480 --> 1:00:16.720 a tampon. It can happen getting fingered whatever, but we 1:00:16.800 --> 1:00:20.000 associate that with virginity. But ironically there is then no 1:00:20.080 --> 1:00:22.760 way of testing virginity in males, so virginity is actually 1:00:22.880 --> 1:00:26.240 quite a hefty policing tool on female bodies to like 1:00:26.240 --> 1:00:29.400 a different extent. And again it's this like strange idea 1:00:29.400 --> 1:00:33.600 of like virginity and purity and acting as if having 1:00:33.640 --> 1:00:36.600 any sort of control of your own sexuality is something 1:00:36.600 --> 1:00:38.800 to be ashamed of and it's something that you're meant 1:00:38.800 --> 1:00:42.080 to like hide and keep and save for someone, you know. 1:00:42.080 --> 1:00:44.880 I read testimonies of people saying that their sex set 1:00:44.960 --> 1:00:47.520 included like sticking a piece of sticky tape on three 1:00:47.520 --> 1:00:50.800 different surfaces and seeing how dirty it got and how 1:00:50.800 --> 1:00:52.960 it wasn't sticky anymore, and no one's ever going to 1:00:52.960 --> 1:00:54.680 be able to love you anymore because you don't have 1:00:54.720 --> 1:00:57.439 the stickiness after you've slept with people before them, Like, ah, 1:00:57.480 --> 1:01:01.320 it's insane, insane. Stuff doesn't surprise me at all, Like, 1:01:01.360 --> 1:01:03.520 I mean, absence is still taught in many schools. My 1:01:03.640 --> 1:01:07.560 mom personally was always like really worried about my virginity 1:01:07.600 --> 1:01:10.000 and would like constantly make sure that you know, there 1:01:10.040 --> 1:01:11.560 was never any conversations about positives. 1:01:11.680 --> 1:01:11.919 Sex. 1:01:11.960 --> 1:01:15.040 It was always about like abstinence preventative. Yes, it's a 1:01:15.040 --> 1:01:16.600 really weird thing because it's also just kind of like 1:01:16.640 --> 1:01:19.919 it's not a defining moment of someone's being to have 1:01:20.080 --> 1:01:23.720 something inserted in you, So like why are we putting 1:01:23.720 --> 1:01:25.760 so much social pressure on that? And why is there 1:01:25.760 --> 1:01:28.280 so much pressure to pick when that happens or how 1:01:28.320 --> 1:01:29.120 it's done. 1:01:29.400 --> 1:01:31.040 No, And I agree, And I just think back to 1:01:31.120 --> 1:01:34.880 like the conversations that we had in school around sex education, 1:01:35.000 --> 1:01:36.120 which was done in PA. 1:01:36.480 --> 1:01:39.520 From memory, it was one class. 1:01:39.120 --> 1:01:40.360 And it had a banana. 1:01:40.400 --> 1:01:41.280 We didn't even have that. 1:01:41.680 --> 1:01:44.160 It was just it was one class in PA, and 1:01:44.240 --> 1:01:47.120 it was around not getting pregnant. It was around all 1:01:47.160 --> 1:01:50.160 the STIs thought that you could catch. There was nothing 1:01:50.200 --> 1:01:53.040 positive about the conversation of sexual experiences. And there was 1:01:53.080 --> 1:01:55.440 nothing around taking agency of your own body. It was 1:01:55.440 --> 1:01:58.000 all around preventing it from happening for as long as possible. 1:01:58.120 --> 1:02:00.240 But this is this brings us to another part of 1:02:00.240 --> 1:02:03.200 the conversation. And but hats off to my mom my mum, 1:02:03.520 --> 1:02:06.560 I remember her. It was never negative. Obviously, it was 1:02:06.600 --> 1:02:08.840 like a you know, sex can leave to pregnancy, You're 1:02:08.880 --> 1:02:10.520 not going to really want that as a teenager or 1:02:10.560 --> 1:02:12.360 when you have sex. But I remember her just saying 1:02:12.800 --> 1:02:16.360 sitting me down and saying, I know what she's like, 1:02:16.400 --> 1:02:19.120 I was a teenager once I had a boyfriend. She's like, 1:02:19.200 --> 1:02:20.880 I know that there is nothing that I can do 1:02:21.000 --> 1:02:23.160 or say that's going to stop you from having sex 1:02:23.200 --> 1:02:25.520 when you want to have sex. All I can ask 1:02:25.760 --> 1:02:28.920 is that you come to me when you do, and 1:02:28.960 --> 1:02:30.600 maybe we can go to the doctor and put you 1:02:30.640 --> 1:02:32.880 on the pill or you know. She was just very 1:02:33.000 --> 1:02:35.440 she was very not encouraging of having sex by any means, 1:02:35.440 --> 1:02:39.960 but she she was aware enough of teenagers situations. I 1:02:40.080 --> 1:02:42.040 was in a relationship, you know, I had this serious 1:02:42.080 --> 1:02:43.560 boyfriend of a year. She's like, I know it's going 1:02:43.600 --> 1:02:45.040 to come. I would rather you just come to me 1:02:45.120 --> 1:02:47.280 and tell me, and we'll make sure that you have 1:02:47.360 --> 1:02:49.600 condoms and you're on the pill and everything else that 1:02:49.640 --> 1:02:51.720 you need. So it was very positive, and that sort 1:02:51.760 --> 1:02:54.400 of takes us into this another conversation, and I know 1:02:54.960 --> 1:02:56.960 a lot of teachers there was a certain level of 1:02:57.000 --> 1:03:00.480 pushback from what I from my understanding, everyone he's on 1:03:00.560 --> 1:03:03.000 board with the consent conversation, but there were a lot 1:03:03.040 --> 1:03:04.920 a lot of people saying it's not up to the 1:03:04.960 --> 1:03:08.720 teachers constantly to be taking more on board. There have 1:03:08.760 --> 1:03:11.000 to be these conversations at home as well. Did you 1:03:11.040 --> 1:03:13.360 find a lot of pushback from teachers at all or 1:03:13.400 --> 1:03:15.760 was everyone just like a fuck, put it in, we'll 1:03:15.800 --> 1:03:16.240 just deal with. 1:03:16.320 --> 1:03:18.160 It, or I guess the other part of that that 1:03:18.200 --> 1:03:20.240 I would like to know as well is why is 1:03:20.240 --> 1:03:22.200 the onus for this to be taught in school so 1:03:22.280 --> 1:03:24.120 important rather than it to be taught at home. 1:03:25.440 --> 1:03:27.120 I don't know if I would call it pushback because 1:03:27.160 --> 1:03:30.400 most people who like, for example, feedback saying the school 1:03:30.440 --> 1:03:33.920 system is stressed enough, especially public school teachers, this is 1:03:33.960 --> 1:03:35.680 a whole other thing for them to do, blah blah 1:03:35.680 --> 1:03:37.480 blah blah. I still don't think anyone thought it was 1:03:37.520 --> 1:03:40.440 a bad idea to teach consent. They just again, that's 1:03:40.520 --> 1:03:42.400 kind of another comment on a different structure, that we're 1:03:42.440 --> 1:03:45.560 not putting enough value on education and funding teachers and 1:03:45.600 --> 1:03:48.600 like respecting that job more is highly valued in our society. 1:03:48.680 --> 1:03:51.960 But yeah, I mean the conversation of if parents would 1:03:51.920 --> 1:03:54.600 be having this absolutely like one hundred million percent, because 1:03:54.600 --> 1:03:56.520 that's really what's going to make the real difference, right, 1:03:56.560 --> 1:03:58.120 the way that parents are engaging with this sort of 1:03:58.120 --> 1:04:00.920 content at home because you know, they really shape you, 1:04:01.120 --> 1:04:04.720 have a large impact on your values. But the problem 1:04:04.800 --> 1:04:07.480 is we can't control how this is taught at home 1:04:07.680 --> 1:04:10.480 at all. There's millions of families around Australia. There's no 1:04:10.560 --> 1:04:13.560 way of standardizing that information anyway or making sure that 1:04:13.600 --> 1:04:15.760 it's the right information that's coming out. So you can 1:04:15.800 --> 1:04:17.280 hope for the best in that way and hope that 1:04:17.560 --> 1:04:20.000 parents are complementing what students are learning at home and 1:04:20.040 --> 1:04:22.360 hoping that there are parents like Gils Brittany who are 1:04:22.360 --> 1:04:25.440 having you know, open conversations with children to create like 1:04:25.480 --> 1:04:29.520 safe environments. But ultimately, the reason it was so important 1:04:29.560 --> 1:04:31.120 for me for this to be focused in the school 1:04:31.160 --> 1:04:35.080 system was because I just see education is such a 1:04:35.120 --> 1:04:38.040 transformative tool and Australia has so much potential in our 1:04:38.160 --> 1:04:40.920 education system that I thought, yeah, that's where it should focus, 1:04:40.960 --> 1:04:43.160 so that we know that every single Australian child from 1:04:43.160 --> 1:04:45.160 this age has been delivered this content and it's kind. 1:04:45.080 --> 1:04:47.520 Of like no more excuses of I didn't know. 1:04:47.880 --> 1:04:49.800 I have two little girls, And it fills me with 1:04:50.160 --> 1:04:54.479 so much like pride and hope and just gratitude that 1:04:54.720 --> 1:04:57.000 there has been changes in this because I think that 1:04:57.280 --> 1:04:59.840 even though so many of us recognize that this is 1:05:00.120 --> 1:05:02.280 thing that was lacking, I feel like all of us 1:05:02.320 --> 1:05:04.200 failed to put our finger on what that was, and 1:05:04.320 --> 1:05:06.920 all of us kind of failed prior to you, failed 1:05:06.960 --> 1:05:09.320 to really sit down and assess, well, why does this 1:05:09.400 --> 1:05:11.919 keep happening? Why has this been okay for so long? 1:05:11.960 --> 1:05:14.400 And why is this almost just like part and parcel 1:05:14.480 --> 1:05:17.800 of going through adolescence and being a teenager and then 1:05:17.800 --> 1:05:22.120 figuring out sex, Like why did these experiences keep on perpetuating? 1:05:22.880 --> 1:05:26.240 And I truly feel like the experiences that you've had 1:05:26.320 --> 1:05:28.400 in the school that you went to and the conversations 1:05:28.440 --> 1:05:31.200 you've had with your girlfriends are the real catalysts here 1:05:31.480 --> 1:05:32.840 that's made everybody. 1:05:32.400 --> 1:05:33.280 Else onlooking go. 1:05:33.760 --> 1:05:35.480 You've found the words for the things that we've all 1:05:35.520 --> 1:05:38.680 experienced in our upbringings as well. Thank you. 1:05:38.760 --> 1:05:40.919 That's right. I kind of feel like that's yeah. 1:05:41.040 --> 1:05:43.960 I mean, I think concern education is something that women's 1:05:44.040 --> 1:05:48.520 organizations have been asking for for so long. But yeah, 1:05:48.560 --> 1:05:52.960 I think exposing exposing that culture and it's hard to 1:05:53.040 --> 1:05:54.640 question the norm, and that's the reality. 1:05:54.760 --> 1:05:56.640 Sexual violence was the norm for us. 1:05:57.480 --> 1:06:00.040 Chanelle. You did just recently a few weeks ago to 1:06:00.080 --> 1:06:04.400 meet with the Prime Minister Scott Morrison. What was that 1:06:04.520 --> 1:06:06.520 meaning for about and how did it go? 1:06:07.720 --> 1:06:12.240 So I try Minister Scott Morrison. Following the announcement that 1:06:12.440 --> 1:06:15.720 consent education would be moundated in Australia, which is something 1:06:15.720 --> 1:06:19.360 that he endorsed prior to that, which was great, I 1:06:19.400 --> 1:06:25.000 met with him to request funding for a national school survey. 1:06:25.040 --> 1:06:27.000 So I want to survey one hundred and fifty thousand 1:06:27.040 --> 1:06:28.919 Australian high school students so that we have a better 1:06:29.000 --> 1:06:32.880 understanding of not just beliefs, attitudes and prevalence of sexual 1:06:32.960 --> 1:06:36.000 assault and consent and relationships and all that, but also 1:06:36.440 --> 1:06:40.200 measuring have you previously received concent education, what did that 1:06:40.240 --> 1:06:41.800 look like? That sort of thing, so that we can 1:06:41.840 --> 1:06:44.959 start measuring the impact of this kind of monumental change 1:06:44.960 --> 1:06:47.040 to the curriculum where it will not be taught in schools, 1:06:47.040 --> 1:06:49.240 so we could start making sure that it is being standardized, 1:06:49.320 --> 1:06:51.280 it is being rolled out, and understanding which sectors are 1:06:51.320 --> 1:06:52.960 lacking in it, which ones are doing well, and blah 1:06:52.960 --> 1:06:55.560 blah blah. And that was really successful because we got 1:06:55.560 --> 1:06:59.640 the funding. Our congratulations, five million dollars to the Australian 1:06:59.680 --> 1:07:02.720 Humans commission and I'll be a special advisor on that 1:07:02.760 --> 1:07:05.240 project was amazing and the other like. 1:07:05.400 --> 1:07:06.040 For most of the. 1:07:06.000 --> 1:07:08.040 Meeting, actually, I used it to kind of educate him 1:07:08.040 --> 1:07:10.080 about rape culture. So I spoke to Scott Morrisen about 1:07:10.120 --> 1:07:12.240 what rape culture was and what it looked like and 1:07:12.280 --> 1:07:14.960 some kind of key factors in it that contributed to that. 1:07:15.560 --> 1:07:17.640 Janelle, I have a question that's just going back a 1:07:17.680 --> 1:07:20.280 little bit, but in terms of the testimonies that you've collected, 1:07:20.360 --> 1:07:22.840 and we did say that you now have over six 1:07:22.880 --> 1:07:27.280 thousand testimonies from women who have experienced sexual assault, who 1:07:27.320 --> 1:07:30.440 have experienced rape in many cases, what do you do 1:07:30.560 --> 1:07:33.240 with those testimonies or how do you I mean, it 1:07:33.320 --> 1:07:35.800 must be such a huge tole reading through the things 1:07:35.800 --> 1:07:39.600 that other women have written sharing in their experiences. 1:07:38.920 --> 1:07:40.440 Like how do you process that? 1:07:40.560 --> 1:07:43.640 And what is the end goal with bringing and taking 1:07:43.640 --> 1:07:45.360 and collecting all of these testimonies. 1:07:45.800 --> 1:07:49.520 Well, I guess the goal was to emphasize the need 1:07:49.560 --> 1:07:53.120 for this education and amplify the petition. But yeah, I 1:07:53.120 --> 1:07:54.480 feel like I've definitely taken. 1:07:54.280 --> 1:07:55.000 On a lot of that. 1:07:55.040 --> 1:07:57.800 There's definitely lots of like vicarious traum I've experienced over 1:07:57.840 --> 1:08:01.080 the last year, especially last year when I actually stopped 1:08:01.080 --> 1:08:02.760 for a second, it like kind of all hit me 1:08:03.080 --> 1:08:04.280 because I think I can be like I'm fine and 1:08:04.320 --> 1:08:05.560 fade and keep reading them and can keep doing it 1:08:05.560 --> 1:08:07.480 that blah blah blah, and then when things slow down, 1:08:07.520 --> 1:08:10.200 I was like, oh, this is really fucked up. But 1:08:10.360 --> 1:08:12.720 I mean, yeah, I guess just channeling it into like 1:08:12.920 --> 1:08:15.840 wanting to change things, I guess. And then also I 1:08:15.920 --> 1:08:20.320 just feel like I have such a unique perception on 1:08:20.400 --> 1:08:23.760 what great culture looks like in Australia from these thousands 1:08:23.800 --> 1:08:26.920 of little snippets of people's lives of their experience in it, 1:08:27.000 --> 1:08:29.680 which I'm really thankful for. And I just feel like 1:08:29.680 --> 1:08:31.439 I'm at all times and over I'm like in a 1:08:31.560 --> 1:08:34.679 room with like a politician or a decision maker, a policymaker, whatever, 1:08:35.120 --> 1:08:36.920 I just like I'm thinking of all these little stories 1:08:36.960 --> 1:08:39.479 I've read before and thinking about how something would be 1:08:39.600 --> 1:08:41.559 good or bad for that experience for that person, And 1:08:41.560 --> 1:08:43.320 it's just kind of like almost having like a little 1:08:43.479 --> 1:08:45.559 six thousand survivors in my head at all times. 1:08:46.200 --> 1:08:48.120 It's a huge toll that I think it's a fact 1:08:48.120 --> 1:08:50.240 that a lot of people probably don't think about that 1:08:50.280 --> 1:08:52.920 you've taken on over the last couple of years. And 1:08:53.000 --> 1:08:55.720 I do hope that you are looking after yourself as well, 1:08:55.760 --> 1:08:57.920 because you can't just look after everyone else all the time. 1:08:58.040 --> 1:09:00.840 And you know, it's a true saying, you need to 1:09:00.880 --> 1:09:03.760 take the oxygen mask for yourself first so you can 1:09:03.800 --> 1:09:05.800 help someone else. What are we going to see next 1:09:05.800 --> 1:09:08.240 for you? Have you got plans to continue taking over 1:09:08.240 --> 1:09:09.160 the world or what is it? 1:09:10.800 --> 1:09:11.080 Yeah? 1:09:11.120 --> 1:09:13.479 So I mean the survey, I hope that. I hope 1:09:13.479 --> 1:09:15.599 we have the results of that as soon as possible 1:09:15.920 --> 1:09:19.480 before consider education is meant to stop being implemented in Australia, 1:09:19.840 --> 1:09:21.280 which I think will be. I think we're going to 1:09:21.320 --> 1:09:23.080 find some jarring things out of that. I mean, I 1:09:23.080 --> 1:09:24.760 don't think I'm going to be surprised by what we 1:09:24.800 --> 1:09:26.639 found out of it, but I think the general population 1:09:26.960 --> 1:09:29.200 will I'm sure lots of women won't be and young 1:09:29.240 --> 1:09:33.240 teenage girls and yeah, then also teacher's Consent will be 1:09:33.560 --> 1:09:37.280 working with our watch to create consent education resources for 1:09:37.320 --> 1:09:40.240 those kind of like few little changes in the curriculum 1:09:40.240 --> 1:09:43.479 that we got added in. And then I'm also meant 1:09:43.479 --> 1:09:46.400 to be going and working at the Australian Institute, so 1:09:46.520 --> 1:09:49.680 I'm going to be launching a Center for Sex and 1:09:49.760 --> 1:09:53.719 Gender Equality there hopefully continue to working towards more structural, 1:09:53.760 --> 1:09:57.320 high level transformative change and like more wider policies like 1:09:57.400 --> 1:09:59.120 things of the pay gap and all that sort of stuff, 1:09:59.120 --> 1:10:01.960 because I mean, sexual assult is just a manifestation of 1:10:02.000 --> 1:10:05.200 gender inequality. But all those structures interact with each other, 1:10:05.240 --> 1:10:08.880 and when you're fixing something that makes gender equality, you know, 1:10:08.880 --> 1:10:12.519 progressive gender equality you're fixing, it's interacting with everything else. 1:10:13.160 --> 1:10:15.000 We are one hundred percent going to have to get 1:10:15.000 --> 1:10:16.559 you back on. There are so many more things we 1:10:16.560 --> 1:10:21.240 can talk about, but Chanelle Kontoss, you have done absolutely 1:10:21.360 --> 1:10:23.960 inspirational and incredible things and I just feel like on 1:10:24.000 --> 1:10:26.000 behalf of every single woman in Australia, we want to 1:10:26.040 --> 1:10:29.080 thank you for what you have done. And I hope 1:10:29.080 --> 1:10:32.080 you realize the impact that you have had because it's 1:10:32.080 --> 1:10:34.559 probably easy for you to sit back and think it's 1:10:34.640 --> 1:10:36.640 just for you. It's a day to day job, it's 1:10:36.640 --> 1:10:38.040 a nine to five today, I'm going to do this, 1:10:38.120 --> 1:10:41.240 But you have made such a monumental impact in the 1:10:41.240 --> 1:10:43.040 way we're going to move forward, the way we view 1:10:43.040 --> 1:10:45.240 consent and sexual assault. So from the bottom of our hearts, 1:10:45.479 --> 1:10:47.800 You're a bloody legend, and thank you for doing what 1:10:47.880 --> 1:10:49.559 so many people have wanted to do for a very 1:10:49.560 --> 1:10:50.040 long time. 1:10:50.200 --> 1:10:52.679 Thank you so so so much. That's really really great. 1:10:53.680 --> 1:10:54.880 Well, it is that time. 1:10:55.000 --> 1:10:57.400 You know, we don't finish an episode without sucking sweet 1:10:57.400 --> 1:10:58.439 our highlight and our. 1:10:58.320 --> 1:11:00.160 Low light of the weak law. 1:11:00.280 --> 1:11:03.000 Burn kick it off. What is your suck woman. 1:11:02.920 --> 1:11:03.920 My suck? Now? 1:11:04.000 --> 1:11:06.960 I had something it is Actually I'm very sad about 1:11:06.960 --> 1:11:07.400 this still. 1:11:07.439 --> 1:11:07.559 So. 1:11:07.840 --> 1:11:12.400 My mum made Lola an incredible crocheted blanket when she 1:11:12.520 --> 1:11:15.040 was born, Like it is beautiful. It is this big 1:11:15.680 --> 1:11:19.880 hair knitted Mandala blanket, and there's something so sentimental about 1:11:19.880 --> 1:11:22.720 getting a real hair knitted blanket for your baby. It's 1:11:22.760 --> 1:11:26.000 the one thing that I have had for Lola's whole 1:11:26.040 --> 1:11:29.479 life that I desperately wanted to give her when she 1:11:29.600 --> 1:11:31.160 was older that I was like, this is gonna be 1:11:31.240 --> 1:11:32.400 like an heirloom blanket. 1:11:33.200 --> 1:11:34.280 She did. 1:11:34.439 --> 1:11:34.640 I know. 1:11:34.680 --> 1:11:36.840 I've spoken about Gastro so much on this podcast for 1:11:36.880 --> 1:11:39.920 the last couple of weeks. Last week she had a blowout. 1:11:41.080 --> 1:11:43.360 She had a blowout pooh which got all over it 1:11:43.400 --> 1:11:44.720 and so I had to put it into the washing 1:11:44.720 --> 1:11:46.600 machine and I put it on a wool wash. I 1:11:46.640 --> 1:11:49.439 followed all the instructions that my mom told me to follow, 1:11:49.880 --> 1:11:52.679 and it came out and it was completely fucking ruined, 1:11:52.760 --> 1:11:57.120 like absolutely just felted together. And it's so dumb because 1:11:57.120 --> 1:11:59.360 like I never cried, Like I feel like I'm pretty 1:11:59.400 --> 1:12:02.080 good with things, Like I never cry over things that 1:12:02.120 --> 1:12:04.880 get broken or damaged, and I'm kind of like, ah, say, Lavie, 1:12:04.920 --> 1:12:07.000 like things come in and out of your life. This 1:12:07.040 --> 1:12:10.320 was one thing that I felt so sentimentally attached to, 1:12:10.840 --> 1:12:12.880 and I called my mum and I was in tears, 1:12:12.880 --> 1:12:13.120 and I. 1:12:13.080 --> 1:12:14.840 Was like, I've ruined the blanket. I just did. 1:12:14.960 --> 1:12:17.160 I so desperately wanted to have something from the time 1:12:17.200 --> 1:12:17.840 that she was born. 1:12:18.000 --> 1:12:19.000 But there's also nothing you. 1:12:18.920 --> 1:12:21.720 Can do about that because a hand wash would not 1:12:21.800 --> 1:12:23.960 have helped that Pooh situation, Like it had to go 1:12:24.000 --> 1:12:24.679 in the machine. 1:12:25.240 --> 1:12:27.240 It was, yes, it was. I was between a rock 1:12:27.240 --> 1:12:29.640 and a hard place. But anyway, I just I don't know. 1:12:29.760 --> 1:12:32.320 It's like there's always going to be something in life 1:12:32.320 --> 1:12:34.880 that you and it's surely it's an inanimate object, but 1:12:34.960 --> 1:12:37.280 like you just have there were so many memories loaded 1:12:37.280 --> 1:12:39.080 into it. It was the one thing that she's had 1:12:39.120 --> 1:12:40.840 since the day she was born. We brought her home 1:12:40.840 --> 1:12:43.280 from the hospital in it, like it meant so much 1:12:43.320 --> 1:12:45.200 to me and I still, like, even just thinking about it, 1:12:45.200 --> 1:12:48.280 I'm so sad that it's not ana, And you know, 1:12:48.320 --> 1:12:50.640 my mum spent like weeks making it. It was just 1:12:50.640 --> 1:12:54.360 such a beautiful item and now it's gone and it 1:12:54.360 --> 1:12:54.960 makes me really sad. 1:12:55.040 --> 1:12:56.720 Can you just suck? Can you not just keep it? 1:12:56.720 --> 1:12:57.719 Even though it's not perfect? 1:12:57.840 --> 1:12:59.559 It looks like shit. It's literally like a board. 1:12:59.600 --> 1:13:02.320 It turned that all of the wool feltered together and 1:13:02.360 --> 1:13:05.160 it's just become this thick, hard piece of blanket, which 1:13:05.200 --> 1:13:07.280 I can keep it, but it's not cute. 1:13:07.360 --> 1:13:10.040 Keep it and telling the stories even more sentimental. 1:13:09.840 --> 1:13:12.640 Shipoop blanket anyway, Most sweet for the week, guys. It's 1:13:12.680 --> 1:13:16.240 a sweet and it's a recommendation. I am so proud 1:13:16.400 --> 1:13:19.920 of Matthew Johnson. Matthew Johnson's wearing an address Mattie jay No. 1:13:20.120 --> 1:13:22.519 He has been working so hard on his own podcast 1:13:22.600 --> 1:13:25.200 over the last couple of like literally six months he's 1:13:25.240 --> 1:13:28.880 been working. It's called The Penny Drops. It has dropped today. 1:13:29.080 --> 1:13:31.879 It is that money. It is a finance podcast. 1:13:32.000 --> 1:13:34.280 It is for anybody who wants to go out there 1:13:34.320 --> 1:13:37.840 and get financially literate, sort out their finances. Maybe you're 1:13:37.960 --> 1:13:39.720 saving to buy a house. Maybe you want to learn 1:13:39.760 --> 1:13:43.600 about investments or shares or compounding interests or superannuation. 1:13:44.120 --> 1:13:45.400 It is all of that stuff. 1:13:45.439 --> 1:13:47.720 And I just know how much work and love and 1:13:47.880 --> 1:13:50.560 energy he's put into this podcast. So it is my recommendation, 1:13:50.960 --> 1:13:53.120 and it is also my sweet for the week. Cue 1:13:53.360 --> 1:13:56.040 Penny drops. Okay, I'll have to go and have a listen. Yeah, 1:13:56.160 --> 1:14:00.760 you already have what you're talking about. Yes, all right, 1:14:00.840 --> 1:14:01.840 what is your suck? 1:14:01.880 --> 1:14:03.680 Brittany Hockley, do you know what you're gonna hate me? 1:14:03.720 --> 1:14:05.400 I just don't really have a suck this week. I 1:14:05.640 --> 1:14:08.000 love that. Oh great, you always tell me I have 1:14:08.040 --> 1:14:10.519 that one. No, I, you have had it such a 1:14:10.560 --> 1:14:12.760 great week and that you're happy. Oh no, it wasn't great. 1:14:12.760 --> 1:14:16.160 Like there was some low points, but like, I just 1:14:16.160 --> 1:14:18.840 don't think there are anything to like. No, I did okay, 1:14:19.200 --> 1:14:22.759 transparency and a fucking hard day. I had a really 1:14:22.880 --> 1:14:24.479 low day. I didn't get out of bed. It was 1:14:24.520 --> 1:14:27.000 the first sunny day we had and I was full, 1:14:27.120 --> 1:14:29.639 I was low, I was crying. I was really upset. 1:14:29.680 --> 1:14:31.719 I had really I'm gonna cry thinking about this. Actually, 1:14:31.800 --> 1:14:32.759 I don't know why that happened. 1:14:32.800 --> 1:14:35.040 Okay, I'm an emotional Oh my brit I like that 1:14:35.040 --> 1:14:37.040 you were like, I haven't had any sock this week, 1:14:37.040 --> 1:14:38.840 and you're like, I spent an entire day in bed 1:14:38.920 --> 1:14:40.719 crying because I like to pretend. 1:14:41.160 --> 1:14:42.360 No, I had a really hard day. 1:14:42.760 --> 1:14:45.880 But that's life, my sweet. 1:14:46.360 --> 1:14:49.759 I think it's like it's so life hard for everyone 1:14:49.800 --> 1:14:52.280 at the moment, but it's also so fucking understandable. Like 1:14:52.360 --> 1:14:54.200 if you were like, yeah, my week has been awesome. 1:14:54.200 --> 1:14:57.200 I haven't had one second of being sad, no one 1:14:57.240 --> 1:15:00.599 would believe that. Like you've you've gone through really big 1:15:00.680 --> 1:15:03.040 stuff in the past couple of weeks, like you know, 1:15:03.160 --> 1:15:06.519 and also like going through that huge transition and going 1:15:06.560 --> 1:15:08.320 through a breakup. It doesn't just happen and then it's 1:15:08.360 --> 1:15:11.080 over and I'm crying on you. 1:15:11.080 --> 1:15:12.800 You know, you think you're fine, fine, fine, fine, fine 1:15:12.840 --> 1:15:15.280 for fine not mine? Yeah fine, fine, fline, so fine, 1:15:15.320 --> 1:15:15.800 they're fucked. 1:15:15.880 --> 1:15:18.120 They're so fine, and that's just what happens, you know, 1:15:18.280 --> 1:15:20.240 And so like, yeah, I mean, I'm glad that you 1:15:20.240 --> 1:15:23.160 don't have one significant bad thing that's happened this week. 1:15:23.200 --> 1:15:25.959 But I think it's really healthy, that you can acknowledge 1:15:25.960 --> 1:15:28.960 that you're still riding those waves and that that's totally okay. 1:15:29.000 --> 1:15:31.599 One hundredcent still running the waves. So that was it. 1:15:31.600 --> 1:15:34.679 It was a tumultuous ride wave this week. My suite 1:15:34.840 --> 1:15:37.360 was that the sun finally came out and that felt good. 1:15:37.439 --> 1:15:40.040 I've got some d I went out, got laid at 1:15:40.080 --> 1:15:42.439 the park. I just felt good, like to do nothing 1:15:42.439 --> 1:15:44.280 and get outside again, because I just feel like I 1:15:44.280 --> 1:15:46.719 feel bad complaining about the rain, but I just feel 1:15:46.760 --> 1:15:48.960 like it's the world has been so dark and gloomy, 1:15:49.080 --> 1:15:50.840 and for me to go and get an hour of sun, 1:15:50.920 --> 1:15:53.200 I appreciated it so much more. And I guess because 1:15:53.240 --> 1:15:55.240 of everything happening in the world. I really just lay 1:15:55.320 --> 1:15:57.679 there and was present. Was like, this is amazing. I'm 1:15:57.720 --> 1:16:01.360 so lucky to be here, happy, he's safe, and enjoin 1:16:01.439 --> 1:16:04.600 the sun in this moment. Such a small and seemingly 1:16:04.720 --> 1:16:08.200 insignificant suite this week, but I can't stress enough how 1:16:08.280 --> 1:16:11.760 nice it was just to feel present and grateful, And 1:16:11.800 --> 1:16:13.920 I guess that's a reflection of everything happening in the world. 1:16:14.000 --> 1:16:16.160 I think you're so right, though, Like you know, just 1:16:16.400 --> 1:16:20.200 having it sounds like the simplest thing but having good weather, 1:16:20.280 --> 1:16:22.960 being able to be outside in the sun really is 1:16:23.000 --> 1:16:25.000 such a shift, like a mood shifter and such a 1:16:25.000 --> 1:16:28.560 game changer for like being able to just feel appreciative 1:16:28.560 --> 1:16:31.680 when it's dark outside you're stuck inside and you're just 1:16:31.760 --> 1:16:34.200 kind of everything is ruminating. 1:16:34.360 --> 1:16:36.599 It adds to that feeling absolu very much. 1:16:36.680 --> 1:16:37.080 Anyway. 1:16:37.120 --> 1:16:40.040 Then, anyway, guys, that is it from us another episode. 1:16:40.120 --> 1:16:42.400 We will be back on Thursday without Ask Gun Cut. 1:16:42.400 --> 1:16:44.599 If you have any questions for Ask Gun Cut, please 1:16:44.640 --> 1:16:47.200 slide into the DMS at Life on Cut podcast. You 1:16:47.240 --> 1:16:50.200 can also join the Facebook group which is Life on 1:16:50.240 --> 1:16:53.000 Cut Discussion Group. And if you've loved the episode, we 1:16:53.040 --> 1:16:55.760 would add solutely love it if you would jump onto 1:16:55.800 --> 1:16:56.639 Apple and leave. 1:16:56.560 --> 1:16:58.800 Us a review and let us know your thoughts. And 1:16:58.920 --> 1:17:01.920 on that note, please tell your mom Tay dot Tae. 1:17:02.000 --> 1:17:05.479 Don't tell your friends and ship because we love, love