Speaker 1: On Flex and Frooms Flex and Frooms. This is the
Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.
Speaker 2: Am I the asshole for not apologizing to a girl
Speaker 2: I used to bully? That's the question we're answering today
Speaker 2: on Flex and Frooms. Listen to this. This was a
Speaker 2: rather awkward experience. Please help me if you see this
Speaker 2: and let me know if I was indeed being an
Speaker 2: ass I am thirty years old a woman, and I
Speaker 2: saw an old high school friend let's call her Anne.
Speaker 2: She's also thirty. I saw her at work. I'm a
Speaker 2: doctor and her friend has been in my care for
Speaker 2: quite some time now. After Anne knew who I was
Speaker 2: through her friends, she said she wanted to come in
Speaker 2: and say hi. With Anne's persistence, I agreed to grab
Speaker 2: a cup of coffee with her over my break. We
Speaker 2: talked about the old days and all. She said she
Speaker 2: had a husband and two kids, and after Anne asked,
Speaker 2: I told her I now had a wife and a
Speaker 2: four year old daughter. At first, she was very excited
Speaker 2: and asked her she could see some pictures, so I
Speaker 2: showed her a few. After that, she laughed and told
Speaker 2: me how ironic this whole thing is, given the fact
Speaker 2: that I used to bully her back in the day.
Speaker 2: Back in high school, Anne was more or less of
Speaker 2: a tomboy and I was a cheerleader. I didn't know
Speaker 2: any better, and I used to be quite cold towards her.
Speaker 2: I unfortunately didn't say anything when my friends would talk
Speaker 2: about her sexuality. They used to tease her for being gay,
Speaker 2: even though she wasn't. I went along with it and
Speaker 2: didn't say anything. I was also rude and judgmental. I'm
Speaker 2: not at all proud of the way. I was quite
Speaker 2: the opposite, actually, However, I never made any comments myself bystander.
Speaker 2: I was a silent bystander, which is also horrible, but
Speaker 2: I just wanted to clarify. I said I was deeply
Speaker 2: sorry for not being a good friend back then, and
Speaker 2: then I apologized. I also told her I was a confused,
Speaker 2: closeted girl who had no idea what she wanted. I
Speaker 2: didn't know what I wanted pretty much until I met
Speaker 2: my wife later. I said, I wish you could take
Speaker 2: it back and make it up to her, and she
Speaker 2: told me she got an apology only after she found
Speaker 2: me and asked me why I hadn't tried to apologize
Speaker 2: to her through social media. I don't use social media much.
Speaker 2: I simply said I was sorry, didn't know any better,
Speaker 2: and I honestly didn't think she'd want to hear any
Speaker 2: of this anyway. She called me an entire idled asshole
Speaker 2: capitals who could get whatever she wanted from life, and
Speaker 2: said I should have apologized a long time ago. She
Speaker 2: then left and told me she genuinely hoped I was
Speaker 2: a better human because my wife and daughter deserved better
Speaker 2: than the person I was back then. Was I indeed
Speaker 2: the asshole?
Speaker 1: Bringing the wife into this is a low blow. I've
Speaker 1: got to say, I think bullying in high school really
Speaker 1: affects people. I don't want to say it doesn't.
Speaker 2: However, I start with that why she's like, let's get
Speaker 2: out of the no no, no, no bullying. Yes exactly,
Speaker 2: it's not okay, it's not great.
Speaker 1: But I will say I think sometimes bringing up like
Speaker 1: I think some people's reaction for like stuff that happens
Speaker 1: to them is to repress it. And so if you
Speaker 1: were to come as a thirty year old woman and
Speaker 1: say hey, like I'm so sorry after the fact, I
Speaker 1: feel like it could be bringing up memories that they've
Speaker 1: tried to forget about. And it would remind them of
Speaker 1: what they were like then and how they felt. Like.
Speaker 1: We've all had stuff happened to us that we just
Speaker 1: wish that we could forget because it hurts, because someone
Speaker 1: hurt us. So don't incriminate yourself.
Speaker 2: Never apologize number one. Number two, if someone's asking you
Speaker 2: for an apology, reflag no, Okay, for real, I really
Speaker 2: I had quite a good time in high school, and
Speaker 2: even I'm like, let's not bring it up, like, let
Speaker 2: by gones speak by gones. Let friendships lay to waste
Speaker 2: unless we're still close. I don't really want to be
Speaker 2: interacting that much with people who went to high school
Speaker 2: with and I don't to be rehashing old stories from ten,
Speaker 2: twelve to fifteen years ago and then having to bring
Speaker 2: them to the surface and pretend they're relevant and then
Speaker 2: apologize I'm not personally doing it. I think that in
Speaker 2: this instance, the way it escalated has told you what
Speaker 2: you needed to know. I feel like if you had
Speaker 2: reached out, probably would escalate it in the same way
Speaker 2: she was sitting on a bad boy piece of information.
Speaker 2: She's like, wait a second, you mean to tell me
Speaker 2: she was waiting on it.
Speaker 1: It's a shame though, But I will say, given that
Speaker 1: the sexuality is a part of it. And now the
Speaker 1: woman who is bullying this woman for supposedly being gay
Speaker 1: is gay.
Speaker 2: Well, she wasn't bullying her, she was having her being bullied.
Speaker 1: Ah, but he is being an observer being a bullied.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure, but I will say in Kelly Rowland's
Speaker 1: song Stopt, we just gotta listen to the lyrics. She wishes,
Speaker 1: she said something she does and someone had the hands
Speaker 1: in the Marilyn Monroe for prints at the Chinese Theater,
Speaker 1: Let that sink in.
Speaker 2: You've been listening to The Flex and Froom's daily podcast.
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