WEBVTT - AITA For Apologising To A Girl I Used To Bully? 😭

0:00:01.200 --> 0:00:04.080
<v Speaker 1>On Flex and Frooms Flex and Frooms. This is the

0:00:04.120 --> 0:00:05.960
<v Speaker 1>Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.

0:00:07.960 --> 0:00:10.920
<v Speaker 2>Am I the asshole for not apologizing to a girl

0:00:10.920 --> 0:00:13.240
<v Speaker 2>I used to bully? That's the question we're answering today

0:00:13.240 --> 0:00:15.960
<v Speaker 2>on Flex and Frooms. Listen to this. This was a

0:00:16.079 --> 0:00:19.480
<v Speaker 2>rather awkward experience. Please help me if you see this

0:00:19.640 --> 0:00:21.280
<v Speaker 2>and let me know if I was indeed being an

0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:24.160
<v Speaker 2>ass I am thirty years old a woman, and I

0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:26.360
<v Speaker 2>saw an old high school friend let's call her Anne.

0:00:26.400 --> 0:00:29.920
<v Speaker 2>She's also thirty. I saw her at work. I'm a

0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:31.840
<v Speaker 2>doctor and her friend has been in my care for

0:00:31.920 --> 0:00:34.919
<v Speaker 2>quite some time now. After Anne knew who I was

0:00:34.960 --> 0:00:36.479
<v Speaker 2>through her friends, she said she wanted to come in

0:00:36.520 --> 0:00:40.440
<v Speaker 2>and say hi. With Anne's persistence, I agreed to grab

0:00:40.479 --> 0:00:42.159
<v Speaker 2>a cup of coffee with her over my break. We

0:00:42.240 --> 0:00:43.960
<v Speaker 2>talked about the old days and all. She said she

0:00:44.000 --> 0:00:46.000
<v Speaker 2>had a husband and two kids, and after Anne asked,

0:00:46.040 --> 0:00:47.479
<v Speaker 2>I told her I now had a wife and a

0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:50.400
<v Speaker 2>four year old daughter. At first, she was very excited

0:00:50.440 --> 0:00:52.320
<v Speaker 2>and asked her she could see some pictures, so I

0:00:52.360 --> 0:00:55.440
<v Speaker 2>showed her a few. After that, she laughed and told

0:00:55.440 --> 0:00:58.000
<v Speaker 2>me how ironic this whole thing is, given the fact

0:00:58.040 --> 0:00:59.520
<v Speaker 2>that I used to bully her back in the day.

0:01:00.320 --> 0:01:02.080
<v Speaker 2>Back in high school, Anne was more or less of

0:01:02.080 --> 0:01:04.280
<v Speaker 2>a tomboy and I was a cheerleader. I didn't know

0:01:04.280 --> 0:01:06.319
<v Speaker 2>any better, and I used to be quite cold towards her.

0:01:06.600 --> 0:01:09.080
<v Speaker 2>I unfortunately didn't say anything when my friends would talk

0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:11.680
<v Speaker 2>about her sexuality. They used to tease her for being gay,

0:01:11.680 --> 0:01:13.360
<v Speaker 2>even though she wasn't. I went along with it and

0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:17.000
<v Speaker 2>didn't say anything. I was also rude and judgmental. I'm

0:01:17.000 --> 0:01:18.760
<v Speaker 2>not at all proud of the way. I was quite

0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:23.160
<v Speaker 2>the opposite, actually, However, I never made any comments myself bystander.

0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:27.039
<v Speaker 2>I was a silent bystander, which is also horrible, but

0:01:27.080 --> 0:01:29.480
<v Speaker 2>I just wanted to clarify. I said I was deeply

0:01:29.520 --> 0:01:31.080
<v Speaker 2>sorry for not being a good friend back then, and

0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:33.680
<v Speaker 2>then I apologized. I also told her I was a confused,

0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:36.360
<v Speaker 2>closeted girl who had no idea what she wanted. I

0:01:36.400 --> 0:01:38.480
<v Speaker 2>didn't know what I wanted pretty much until I met

0:01:38.520 --> 0:01:40.520
<v Speaker 2>my wife later. I said, I wish you could take

0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:42.120
<v Speaker 2>it back and make it up to her, and she

0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:45.120
<v Speaker 2>told me she got an apology only after she found

0:01:45.120 --> 0:01:48.440
<v Speaker 2>me and asked me why I hadn't tried to apologize

0:01:48.520 --> 0:01:52.880
<v Speaker 2>to her through social media. I don't use social media much.

0:01:53.120 --> 0:01:55.840
<v Speaker 2>I simply said I was sorry, didn't know any better,

0:01:55.920 --> 0:01:57.880
<v Speaker 2>and I honestly didn't think she'd want to hear any

0:01:57.920 --> 0:02:00.760
<v Speaker 2>of this anyway. She called me an entire idled asshole

0:02:01.640 --> 0:02:05.240
<v Speaker 2>capitals who could get whatever she wanted from life, and

0:02:05.320 --> 0:02:07.840
<v Speaker 2>said I should have apologized a long time ago. She

0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:10.640
<v Speaker 2>then left and told me she genuinely hoped I was

0:02:10.639 --> 0:02:13.600
<v Speaker 2>a better human because my wife and daughter deserved better

0:02:13.639 --> 0:02:16.399
<v Speaker 2>than the person I was back then. Was I indeed

0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:17.320
<v Speaker 2>the asshole?

0:02:17.560 --> 0:02:20.359
<v Speaker 1>Bringing the wife into this is a low blow. I've

0:02:20.360 --> 0:02:23.320
<v Speaker 1>got to say, I think bullying in high school really

0:02:23.360 --> 0:02:25.680
<v Speaker 1>affects people. I don't want to say it doesn't.

0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:30.520
<v Speaker 2>However, I start with that why she's like, let's get

0:02:30.520 --> 0:02:34.160
<v Speaker 2>out of the no no, no, no bullying. Yes exactly,

0:02:34.760 --> 0:02:36.200
<v Speaker 2>it's not okay, it's not great.

0:02:36.720 --> 0:02:39.640
<v Speaker 1>But I will say I think sometimes bringing up like

0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:43.000
<v Speaker 1>I think some people's reaction for like stuff that happens

0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:44.880
<v Speaker 1>to them is to repress it. And so if you

0:02:44.960 --> 0:02:46.640
<v Speaker 1>were to come as a thirty year old woman and

0:02:46.680 --> 0:02:49.960
<v Speaker 1>say hey, like I'm so sorry after the fact, I

0:02:49.960 --> 0:02:52.000
<v Speaker 1>feel like it could be bringing up memories that they've

0:02:52.040 --> 0:02:54.160
<v Speaker 1>tried to forget about. And it would remind them of

0:02:54.200 --> 0:02:57.000
<v Speaker 1>what they were like then and how they felt. Like.

0:02:57.280 --> 0:02:59.000
<v Speaker 1>We've all had stuff happened to us that we just

0:02:59.040 --> 0:03:01.960
<v Speaker 1>wish that we could forget because it hurts, because someone

0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:05.440
<v Speaker 1>hurt us. So don't incriminate yourself.

0:03:07.240 --> 0:03:11.720
<v Speaker 2>Never apologize number one. Number two, if someone's asking you

0:03:11.720 --> 0:03:16.680
<v Speaker 2>for an apology, reflag no, Okay, for real, I really

0:03:16.800 --> 0:03:19.120
<v Speaker 2>I had quite a good time in high school, and

0:03:19.120 --> 0:03:21.480
<v Speaker 2>even I'm like, let's not bring it up, like, let

0:03:21.520 --> 0:03:25.040
<v Speaker 2>by gones speak by gones. Let friendships lay to waste

0:03:26.400 --> 0:03:29.320
<v Speaker 2>unless we're still close. I don't really want to be

0:03:29.360 --> 0:03:31.840
<v Speaker 2>interacting that much with people who went to high school

0:03:31.840 --> 0:03:34.760
<v Speaker 2>with and I don't to be rehashing old stories from ten,

0:03:35.000 --> 0:03:37.760
<v Speaker 2>twelve to fifteen years ago and then having to bring

0:03:37.800 --> 0:03:39.640
<v Speaker 2>them to the surface and pretend they're relevant and then

0:03:39.680 --> 0:03:44.200
<v Speaker 2>apologize I'm not personally doing it. I think that in

0:03:44.240 --> 0:03:46.520
<v Speaker 2>this instance, the way it escalated has told you what

0:03:46.560 --> 0:03:48.080
<v Speaker 2>you needed to know. I feel like if you had

0:03:48.120 --> 0:03:50.240
<v Speaker 2>reached out, probably would escalate it in the same way

0:03:50.320 --> 0:03:52.800
<v Speaker 2>she was sitting on a bad boy piece of information.

0:03:53.160 --> 0:03:56.080
<v Speaker 2>She's like, wait a second, you mean to tell me

0:03:56.960 --> 0:03:58.120
<v Speaker 2>she was waiting on it.

0:03:58.120 --> 0:04:00.840
<v Speaker 1>It's a shame though, But I will say, given that

0:04:00.840 --> 0:04:02.720
<v Speaker 1>the sexuality is a part of it. And now the

0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:05.760
<v Speaker 1>woman who is bullying this woman for supposedly being gay

0:04:06.240 --> 0:04:06.600
<v Speaker 1>is gay.

0:04:06.720 --> 0:04:08.800
<v Speaker 2>Well, she wasn't bullying her, she was having her being bullied.

0:04:09.760 --> 0:04:13.560
<v Speaker 1>Ah, but he is being an observer being a bullied.

0:04:14.520 --> 0:04:16.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm not sure, but I will say in Kelly Rowland's

0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:21.400
<v Speaker 1>song Stopt, we just gotta listen to the lyrics. She wishes,

0:04:21.440 --> 0:04:23.880
<v Speaker 1>she said something she does and someone had the hands

0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:26.320
<v Speaker 1>in the Marilyn Monroe for prints at the Chinese Theater,

0:04:27.440 --> 0:04:28.080
<v Speaker 1>Let that sink in.

0:04:28.760 --> 0:04:31.360
<v Speaker 2>You've been listening to The Flex and Froom's daily podcast.

0:04:31.600 --> 0:04:35.240
<v Speaker 2>For more, tune Inticater on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.