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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just once answers.

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Speaker 2: Now, we've got to be able to equip parents with

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Speaker 2: better strategies because they literally, genuinely, unquestionably are harming the

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Speaker 2: wellbeing of their children.

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Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum

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Speaker 1: and dad.

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Speaker 2: Gooday. This is doctor Justin Colson, the author of a

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Speaker 2: whole bunch of books about raising happy families and the

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Speaker 2: founder of happy families dot com dot au. Here with Kylie,

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Speaker 2: my wife and podcast partner, Mum to our six kids.

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Speaker 2: We're talking today about something called from the Doctor's Desk.

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Speaker 2: If you haven't heard us talk about this before, it's

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Speaker 2: really simple. A bunch of studies come across my desk

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Speaker 2: pretty frequently, and every now and again I do what

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Speaker 2: I can to communicate what's coming out of the research

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Speaker 2: to you, mum's, dad's, parents, caregivers, because academics sometimes don't

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Speaker 2: do the best job in getting their research out there.

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Speaker 2: And I love research. I love to geek out my

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Speaker 2: fun space.

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Speaker 3: I'm just gonna let you geek out.

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Speaker 2: Okay, all right, good on you. The first of the

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Speaker 2: studies that have come across my desk that I really

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Speaker 2: want to emphasize today comes from the University of South Australia.

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Speaker 2: This is some Aussie research and it's highlighting this. Too

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Speaker 2: much screen time delays school readiness. This is a really

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Speaker 2: big issue because when children show up at school, they're

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Speaker 2: supposed to be able to do a handful of things.

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Speaker 2: You used to be in early childcare. So before we

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Speaker 2: talk about screens and how that's impacting on school readiness,

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Speaker 2: your career was getting kids ready for school in some ways.

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Speaker 2: I mean you were looking after young children, toddlers, preschoolers

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Speaker 2: before they headed off to the big school. What is

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Speaker 2: it that makes a child ready for school?

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Speaker 3: Well, social interactions is a huge one. You know that

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Speaker 3: children are able to kind of navigate a social space.

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Speaker 3: There's obviously going to be hiccups all along the way,

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Speaker 3: but an opportunity for them to initiate play, to accept

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Speaker 3: invitations to be part of play, to play alongside people,

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Speaker 3: to be able to work independently. Then you've got the

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Speaker 3: whole bodily functions. They need to be able to toilet themselves.

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Speaker 3: I mean, this is a really hard space for kids

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Speaker 3: to navigate if they're not ready.

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Speaker 2: It's interesting you raise that because we've got a friend

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Speaker 2: who teaches kids in their first year of school. Every

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Speaker 2: state calls it's something different. Some states call it prep,

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Speaker 2: some call it kindergarten, some call it reception. Here in

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Speaker 2: Queensland it's prep. And we have a friend who's a

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Speaker 2: prep teacher. She's currently dealing with a couple of kids

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Speaker 2: in her class who do not have any basic school readiness,

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Speaker 2: including the ability to toilet themselves. So where a term

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Speaker 2: at least into this school year and she's still dealing

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Speaker 2: with daily. I don't want to call them accidents because

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Speaker 2: this is not an accident. The child simply hasn't been

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Speaker 2: taught by his parents to use the toilet. He doesn't

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Speaker 2: wein happies. He just makes a mess everywhere, and school

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Speaker 2: teachers are dealing with this kind of stuff. The research

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Speaker 2: that came out of UNISA highlighted that twenty two percent

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Speaker 2: twenty two Like to me, that's enormous. Twenty two percent

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Speaker 2: of children are considered to be developmentally vulnerable. And what

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Speaker 2: the research is are Doctor Kobe Boshoff was the principal

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Speaker 2: researcher here. What Kobe and her colleagues have highlighted is

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Speaker 2: that nearly twenty two percent of these kids are displaying

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Speaker 2: lower than average ability in things like physical health, their

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Speaker 2: ability to regulate their behavior, their emotional maturity, so they're

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Speaker 2: having big spontaneous emotional outbursts, and their language and communication

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Speaker 2: is also reduced. And as a result, when we get

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Speaker 2: these kinds of outcomes, that means that we have to

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Speaker 2: bring in the speech therapists and the occupational therapists and

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Speaker 2: the physiotherapists, we have to bring in extra teachers' aids

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Speaker 2: because the children aren't ready to be at school. Now,

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Speaker 2: there's a broader argument about whether we're pushing children into

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Speaker 2: school too early, but what's particularly important about this study

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Speaker 2: is it showing that these kids are not keeping up

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Speaker 2: with basic developmental miles zones that all of their peers

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Speaker 2: are twenty two percent in this particular sample.

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Speaker 3: Well, I think there's actually some great news that comes

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Speaker 3: out of this because there is actually a very simple fix.

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Speaker 2: Turn off the screens. And that's literally what they're saying

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Speaker 2: that they're looking at this research and saying if the

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Speaker 2: kids would, just if parents would stop over using screens

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Speaker 2: as babysitter. I don't want to say using, because we all,

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Speaker 2: every single one of us is guilty of using a

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Speaker 2: screen as a babysitter from time to time. You just

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Speaker 2: want to go to the bathroom in piece. You want

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Speaker 2: to have a shower now and then and be left alone.

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Speaker 2: You want to be able to cook dinner from time

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Speaker 2: to time and not have a child underfoot. But the

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Speaker 2: overuse of screens seems to be the big issue. Anyway,

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Speaker 2: I cut you off. What's your easy solution where you just.

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Speaker 3: Said it, I stole your thunder It's still my thunder god,

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Speaker 3: But I think it's really important to just highlight again.

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Speaker 3: But two to five year olds, we're talking about screen

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Speaker 3: time of up to an hour maximum in any given day,

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Speaker 3: and that can be I guess where we come unstuck.

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Speaker 3: Because if a child's going to sit and watch a movie,

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Speaker 3: that's an hour and a half instantly, yeah, yeah, And

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Speaker 3: then they get on and they might do some reading, eggs,

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Speaker 3: or you know, do another activity or something, or you

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Speaker 3: sit down and you're going to cook dinner, and they

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Speaker 3: do whatever else they do on their screen.

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Speaker 2: So I'm going to say something really provocative here. I

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Speaker 2: would rather the kids sit down and watch an hour

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Speaker 2: of TV than spend an hour playing mindless stupid games

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Speaker 2: on an iPad tell me more. Well, if the kids

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Speaker 2: are sitting down in front of the ABC and watching

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Speaker 2: high quality children's programming, they're going to learn more. They're

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Speaker 2: going to have.

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Speaker 3: You're talking about like play school.

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Speaker 2: Play school Sessames Street, Bluey. Those kinds of shows are

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Speaker 2: going to do more for a child than having them

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Speaker 2: watch mindless drivel or be involved in pointless silly games

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Speaker 2: on a screen.

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Speaker 3: So my suggestion is that there isn't actually enough of

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Speaker 3: that kind of TV.

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Speaker 2: We've got, and it's going down. It's going down of.

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Speaker 3: The other type of TV where our kids are just

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Speaker 3: watching frivolous, mindless junk.

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Speaker 2: There's no other word for it, it's junk. So that's

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Speaker 2: the big thing. The other thing that Kobe highlights is

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Speaker 2: not just that there's an over use of screens without

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Speaker 2: two to five year olds that's impacting their school readiness.

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Speaker 2: But they're supposed to be outside. Like kids don't know

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Speaker 2: how to ride a scooter, kids don't know how to

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Speaker 2: hang off the monkey bars. We had that conversation with

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Speaker 2: Madonna King a few weeks ago about her book Tenager

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Speaker 2: and how few ten year olds are actually able to

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Speaker 2: hang on monkey bars, like actually hold their body way.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So I'm not going to pick on the ten

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Speaker 3: year olds because I probably couldn't hang off a monkey Barry.

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Speaker 2: Oh, come on, you could have. But I think there's

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Speaker 2: the broader conversation of our children need to be outside,

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Speaker 2: they need to be climbing trees. I'm going to sound

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Speaker 2: all nostalgic and say how good it was back in

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Speaker 2: the olden days. Not that I was alive in the

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Speaker 2: olden days. That was back in my dad's generation. But

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Speaker 2: the over reliance on screens is measurably now having an

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Speaker 2: impact on children's school readiness. This line from the research

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Speaker 2: acutely important for all families and children, especially so for

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Speaker 2: families living in rural and low socio economic areas where

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Speaker 2: the risk of developmental delay is known to be statistically higher.

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Speaker 2: We need to help these children reduce their time on television,

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Speaker 2: computers and smart devices. From the Doctor's Desk returns in

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Speaker 2: just a second. It's the Happy Families Podcast.

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Speaker 4: Imagine a home where discipline got results without anyone having

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Speaker 4: to feel bad or in trouble. The do's and don'ts

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Speaker 4: of discipline as a webinar to help parents set limits

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Speaker 4: with love, compassion, and humanity. Find it now at happyfamilies

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Speaker 4: dot com dot au slash shop.

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Speaker 3: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time

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Speaker 3: poor parent who just wants answers now. And today we

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Speaker 3: are coming from the doctor's desk.

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Speaker 2: There's a study that has just been published that really,

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Speaker 2: I don't know how else to say it. It kind

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Speaker 2: of blew me away. It's the first of its kind.

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Speaker 2: And what this research is showing is that harsh parenting

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Speaker 2: in childhood leads to smaller brains. It has a huge

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Speaker 2: impact on children's brain development. Researchers at the University of

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Speaker 2: Montreal found that repeatedly getting angry, hitting or shaking or

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Speaker 2: even just yelling at children is linked with smaller brain

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Speaker 2: structures and adolescents.

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Speaker 3: I think what's interesting about this is that I think

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Speaker 3: that society in general recognizes the social and emotional challenges

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Speaker 3: that present as a result of this form of parenting,

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Speaker 3: but to recognize that this literally alters the structure of

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Speaker 3: our children's brain.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So we've always known, I shouldn't say always, for decades now,

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Speaker 2: we've known that serious abuse has a really strong link

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Speaker 2: to anxiety and depression for children, for adolescents, and then

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Speaker 2: into adulthood that casts that long shadow right throughout their lives.

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Speaker 2: We've known that abuse does that, but this is a

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Speaker 2: really fascinating study because these children have been followed from

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Speaker 2: birth through the first nine years of life, and then

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Speaker 2: follow up studies have found that so basically the kids

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Speaker 2: are divided into groups based on the persistent kind of

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Speaker 2: parenting they experience and the parents who are harsh. Now,

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Speaker 2: let me just redefine harsh for you, okay, because we're

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Speaker 2: not talking about abusive parenting here. We're talking about harsh.

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Speaker 2: That is parents who are saying, damn it, do it

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Speaker 2: my way. I'm going to yell at you, I'm going

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Speaker 2: to get angry at you, I'm going to be persistently

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Speaker 2: high level when it comes to my authoritarian parenting. That's

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Speaker 2: really what we're talking about. Parents who are harsh my

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Speaker 2: way of the highway, angry hitting kind of parents, the shouting, yelling,

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Speaker 2: hitting kind of.

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Speaker 3: Stuff, which, regardless of what your take on it, is

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Speaker 3: acceptable behavior in society.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that there's still a fairly general agreement that, well,

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Speaker 2: while it's idea that we don't do that, there's a

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Speaker 2: lot of people say, yeah, you've got to yell at

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Speaker 2: your kids now and there. Now, you've got to smack

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Speaker 2: your kids otherwise they're going to run right and they're

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Speaker 2: going to rule the roost. So the my way of

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Speaker 2: high way, I'm the parent, my house, my rules approach

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Speaker 2: is consistent with a harsh parenting style. Now, obviously the

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Speaker 2: more serious the harshness, the greater the impact on our

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Speaker 2: children's brains. But this research from the University of Montreal

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Speaker 2: basically says the harsh parenting is associated with a genuine

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Speaker 2: anatomical difference. The kid's brains are smaller in two key areas,

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Speaker 2: the emotional center of the brain and the prefrontal cortex,

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Speaker 2: which is the thinking part of the brain. What we

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Speaker 2: do is we actually suppress the development of the brain

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Speaker 2: areas that are going to be most important for our

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Speaker 2: children to be highly functioning adults. If we're harsh and punitive.

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Speaker 3: That intrigues me as well, because I think that when

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Speaker 3: we're in those spaces where we are being threatened or

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Speaker 3: we feel attacked, we stop thinking. You know, you just

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Speaker 3: think about as an adult, if you're in those positions,

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Speaker 3: you actually stop thinking rationally. So this really makes sense

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Speaker 3: to me that this would have such, you know, significant

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Speaker 3: impact on our children as their brains are developing.

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Speaker 2: They're significant findings. They're also fairly in you at the

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Speaker 2: first time. Like I said that harsh parenting practices that

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Speaker 2: fall short of serious abuse have been linked to this

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Speaker 2: decreased brain structure size. But the decrease in brain structure

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Speaker 2: size for kids who are not being abused is actually

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Speaker 2: corresponding to kids who have been abused. In short, harsh

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Speaker 2: parenting practices like yelling and shouting and threatening and being

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Speaker 2: consistently angry and hitting literally affecting the very structure of

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Speaker 2: children's brains. We've got to be able to equip parents

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Speaker 2: with better strategies so they don't do that because they literally, genuinely,

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Speaker 2: unquestionably are harming the well being of their children.

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Speaker 3: These are some really tricky conversations, but I think they're

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Speaker 3: so important for us to have if we're going to

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Speaker 3: continue to improve and make positive changes in our children's world.

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Speaker 2: Well from the doctor's desk, it happens about once a month.

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Speaker 2: From the Happy Famili's podcast, probably not the most pleasant

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Speaker 2: news today, but worth summarizing and helping parents to be

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Speaker 2: aware of it. Number One, keep screen used to a

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Speaker 2: minimum because it does seem to be impacting school readiness,

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Speaker 2: primarily because it's displacing children's opportunities to use their bodies

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Speaker 2: to increase their perception and to get that social and

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Speaker 2: emotional development that they need by living whole balanced childhoods.

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Speaker 2: And number two, minimize that harsh parenting because it actually

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Speaker 2: changes the structure of children's brains, increases their risk of

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Speaker 2: mental health issues, particularly anxiety and depression throughout adolescence and adulthood.

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Speaker 2: And just treat them with love and respect and be

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Speaker 2: there for them. Goodness me, a parenting really hasn't changed

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Speaker 2: that much when you look at what we've always known

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Speaker 2: parenting should be about. Hopefully you enjoyed the podcast. It's

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Speaker 2: been helpful and you can be a better parent as

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Speaker 2: a result of it. If so, we love it when

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Speaker 2: you leave those five star ratings and reviews at Apple Podcasts.

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Speaker 2: When you do that, it helps other people to find

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Speaker 2: out about the podcast and make their families happier. We

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Speaker 2: appreciate the work of Justin Rulan from Bridge Media. He's

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Speaker 2: our producer. Our executive producer is Craig Bruce. Appreciate you too, Craig,

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Speaker 2: Thanks for all that you do. If you'd like more,

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Speaker 2: information about making your family happier. You can visit happyfamilies

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Speaker 2: dot com dot au