Speaker 1: Hello.
Speaker 2: My name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yor the
Speaker 2: Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we
Speaker 2: get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would
Speaker 2: like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of
Speaker 2: which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging
Speaker 2: the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through.
Speaker 2: As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and
Speaker 2: the storytelling of you to make a difference for today
Speaker 2: and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 3: Let's get into it.
Speaker 4: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Speaker 5: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
Speaker 5: Millennials who Want Financial Freedom. My name is Jessica Ricky
Speaker 5: and as always I have the wonderful Beck Sayer joining
Speaker 5: me today because it is Friday, and today we are
Speaker 5: going to celebrate you, the incredible She's on the Money community.
Speaker 5: Today we'll be sharing some of our favorite money wins.
Speaker 5: We'll be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which
Speaker 5: this week is all about where the pocket money is
Speaker 5: a good idea for kids, and we're going to unpack
Speaker 5: something that you slid into our DMS about which this
Speaker 5: week is all about managing gift giving expectations with your nieces.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Beck, Yes, the vibe in the room's different.
Speaker 6: It is.
Speaker 1: It feels like there's again. I think I'm seeing double
Speaker 1: but I don't know. Tell me what. I'm also extremely drunk, but.
Speaker 3: Maybe we all are.
Speaker 1: Maddie, Jay and Ashwicks welcome individually or both many things,
Speaker 1: but together you make two doting dads. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for joining us. Tell us a little bit more
Speaker 1: about the pod.
Speaker 3: Well, I just want to stop you right there, thank
Speaker 3: you for having me. And before you start thanking us,
Speaker 3: I am many things. I would hold off giving us
Speaker 3: any type of applause until the end of the episode
Speaker 3: because I don't know. We're not very not very very
Speaker 3: dumb appropriate work just to manage everyone's expectations. I don't
Speaker 3: know where I am. I got lost.
Speaker 7: I was walking on the street and someone was like,
Speaker 7: through this door, sir, and here I'm sitting down here
Speaker 7: and now I'm talking to Yeah.
Speaker 1: We actually weren't meant to be talking to you guys,
Speaker 1: So thanks so much for coming back the studio.
Speaker 6: That's fine. Two doting dads.
Speaker 7: Is a podcast about the trials and tribulations of parenting.
Speaker 6: It's the good, the bad, and the relatable.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not meant to be. Well, the last thing
Speaker 3: you wanted to do was offer any type of advice,
Speaker 3: because I think there's enough people out there trying to
Speaker 3: offer advice to parents, and I think every kid is
Speaker 3: so different that I think the point the parents really
Speaker 3: need is just to know that there's others out there
Speaker 3: who were struggling just as much as they are shed pain.
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, we wanted to.
Speaker 7: Create an environment where everyone's just doing the best they can.
Speaker 3: It's a safe, safe place. I think the most common
Speaker 3: bit of feedback we get is that it's just refreshing
Speaker 3: to hear other parents struggling.
Speaker 6: Have a shit time. It's a bit ship it is.
Speaker 3: But also we love our kids, yeah so much.
Speaker 1: He really summed up my thoughts on children in general.
Speaker 7: Is we always say they're like owning drunk people. That's
Speaker 7: like our that's irrational. They love you sometimes and then
Speaker 7: they just lose it for no reason.
Speaker 1: That's fun. You're really selling it. Can a non dad listen, but.
Speaker 3: Absolutely we actually know. We thought we'd be a really
Speaker 3: blokey podcast. And then we ended up having more like
Speaker 3: we're more mums. Yeah, and I think we're lucky in that.
Speaker 7: Men.
Speaker 3: The bar is so low.
Speaker 7: Agreed, Agreed, and so well, let'sten all collectively agree.
Speaker 3: We can talk about us stuff ups with just like
Speaker 3: a total lack of fear of judgment.
Speaker 7: Because they're all stuff ups. Yeah, not a lot, Like,
Speaker 7: there's not a lot we're doing. We're bumbling our way
Speaker 7: through most of it.
Speaker 3: As all parents, it doesn't matter how amazing you are
Speaker 3: as a parent. Every day there's some type of stuff
Speaker 3: up that you have to deal with because, as Ash said,
Speaker 3: they're drunk little people. Yeah, and so yeah, mums have
Speaker 3: kind of come to us and said, oh, it's just
Speaker 3: really refreshing to hear myself and my story reflected back
Speaker 3: in your content.
Speaker 6: But we have people that aren't parents that listen.
Speaker 7: Do we have a thing against pet parents, But that's
Speaker 7: a story for another day, but we do. I have
Speaker 7: met people that are like, I don't have kids, but
Speaker 7: I like listening to you. So's wrong with you?
Speaker 5: Guys?
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's so much house out there.
Speaker 1: Take the win where you can get them. For sure,
Speaker 1: I'm not a parent, but I am going to be
Speaker 1: a listener from this point onward.
Speaker 7: Okay, perfect, that's one more.
Speaker 1: Okay, I feel like, let's sure I'm strange to money wins.
Speaker 1: I think so.
Speaker 5: Well, there's some goodies this week. So first, they've got
Speaker 5: a money win from Maggie, who said, I've been eyeing
Speaker 5: up some mid century dining tables for some time, and
Speaker 5: most of them sit around the eight hundred dollar mark.
Speaker 5: I found someone Facebook marketplace that we're in immaculate condition
Speaker 5: for one hundred bucks, hired at from Carshier for fifty
Speaker 5: bucks to collect it, and made it at total of
Speaker 5: one hundred and fifty dollars for a six to eight CE.
Speaker 5: She's put in a photo. We love a photo, lovely
Speaker 5: Facebook thread. Very mid century and I don't know if
Speaker 5: anybody else loves them in century style. But she's absolutely
Speaker 5: right that stuff is so expensive. It's absolutely insane. So
Speaker 5: well done, Maggie.
Speaker 6: Until you sit on it and it falls to pe.
Speaker 1: A couple of screws or something. It's decoration, no sitting allow.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Next, I've got a money win from Jamie. It's short
Speaker 5: but sweet, but she said, money win. My mortgage is
Speaker 5: going to be paid off this Friday.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Well, done, Jay.
Speaker 3: Very nice, exciting flex.
Speaker 1: I'm interested to know what you're going to do with
Speaker 1: the money.
Speaker 3: Now do that?
Speaker 6: Also?
Speaker 3: How old is she? When is by a first house?
Speaker 1: We're going to be a whole lod of follow up
Speaker 1: questions to get out of money.
Speaker 6: That's a very good effort.
Speaker 3: I'm happy for it, but I'm also like.
Speaker 6: A, well, I'm just going to go home and pay
Speaker 6: my rent.
Speaker 1: Seriously amazing.
Speaker 5: Next, I've got money in from Georgie who said win
Speaker 5: that I think Victoria and all of my fellow green
Speaker 5: thumbs will appreciate. I bought a plant to add some
Speaker 5: greenery to our apartment. When repotting it, I noticed it
Speaker 5: was actually three separate plans in the one pot. So
Speaker 5: now I've got three plans for the price of one.
Speaker 3: Oh, Laura, Laura would absolutely lose her mind.
Speaker 7: That It's like when you go shopping with your toddler
Speaker 7: and you walk out and you haven't realized they've taken me.
Speaker 3: Shney. He usually the chocolates are the perfect don't steal that,
Speaker 3: watch don't take.
Speaker 1: Friends are great for that.
Speaker 5: Next, we've got money in from Gina who said I've
Speaker 5: got a small money in my uber on Friday, was
Speaker 5: more expensive than I was quoted because of traffic. I
Speaker 5: contested it through the app and I got a refund.
Speaker 1: Whole thing. Didn't even know you could do it.
Speaker 7: Special love to complain about Uber stuff his personality. He goes, sorry,
Speaker 7: it's actually it's actually a credit to it.
Speaker 3: Actually, can I have a money win? Can I jump
Speaker 3: in really quickly?
Speaker 1: Please?
Speaker 3: Okay, Ash is right. I do like to complain, but
Speaker 3: for the right reasons. The right reasons, like if I
Speaker 3: get the wrong order, I'll be like, hey, I didn't
Speaker 3: order that. Last night. I got some tie delivered right
Speaker 3: delicious and it arrived. It was a salmon stir fry immediately. No, yeah,
Speaker 3: first problem.
Speaker 5: Okay, that's what you're ordering from the Thai restaurants to
Speaker 5: the rows out.
Speaker 6: Different strokes for different folks.
Speaker 3: I'm sure there's people out there who like, we need
Speaker 3: to stay strong, stay together. I took the lid off,
Speaker 3: and straight away Laura was like, oh, what is that.
Speaker 3: That's chicken. That is fishy. It was, and I smelled
Speaker 3: it and I was like, oh, that's definitely that's not
Speaker 3: quite right. And I tasted it and I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: it's not quite there. It's on the turn it's on
Speaker 3: the brink. Yeah, I ate half of it, right, Oh,
Speaker 3: so I got I got somewhat of a meal. I
Speaker 3: then complained because I said it was off, and then
Speaker 3: I got it free. You got it refunded. So I
Speaker 3: got a free half meal.
Speaker 1: That's really really good and.
Speaker 3: I didn't have diarrhea today. I'm not sick.
Speaker 1: Money when money when it can take some time, it
Speaker 1: can take some time. You need to run out any point, that's.
Speaker 3: The money win, right, Yeah, I got one off the
Speaker 3: back of that.
Speaker 7: We were in Brisbane, ordered the kid's pizza to the
Speaker 7: hotel was saying it and it said that it had
Speaker 7: turned up and it didn't, so I immediately went for
Speaker 7: the refund. Twenty minutes later pizza turned up.
Speaker 1: Money win.
Speaker 6: How long did you money?
Speaker 7: When I got it refunded. But then also because I
Speaker 7: had uber cash, got dinner last night.
Speaker 3: Free double win?
Speaker 1: Wow?
Speaker 3: Right girl math winning over here?
Speaker 7: These are all.
Speaker 6: It was really confident.
Speaker 1: That so much of the day.
Speaker 7: Oh it's actually door dash amazing.
Speaker 1: Well, I feel like that. Let's wrap it up there
Speaker 1: and head into broake tips. I feel bad. I think
Speaker 1: you've got a goodie for us, right, Okay, I do.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately it's not uber, it's related. Is that Okay? That
Speaker 1: like allowed off seam. Yeah, it's off se I'm really
Speaker 1: going rogue you guys. Okay, So as always we do
Speaker 1: have broke tips. Now Ash and Maddie Jay have come
Speaker 1: with their own, so I'm just going to read out
Speaker 1: one for the day. So this one comes from Maddie
Speaker 1: who says, refill spray and white bottles with water when
Speaker 1: they get down to half way, which I have a
Speaker 1: great idea because they really are a little bit too
Speaker 1: condensed at the start. So I do that with body wash, yes,
Speaker 1: body wash, shampoo, anything, because you don't like it's still
Speaker 1: all in there. You know, when you're saving a lot
Speaker 1: of not just money, but also you're saving the planet.
Speaker 3: I've got a conspiracy theory if i can just jump
Speaker 3: in for one second. Someone said that in other Scooper
Speaker 3: for the powder for your washing the clothes. They were like,
Speaker 3: that's actually that line they put on the Scooper to
Speaker 3: say how much you need for a full load. That
Speaker 3: they're lying to us. They're saying you actually only need
Speaker 3: half of that, but they put the line way above
Speaker 3: because they want to encourage you to use more. You
Speaker 3: have to buy more so, I only wash with half
Speaker 3: a scoop.
Speaker 1: Dirty dogs those shops, dude.
Speaker 7: My wife goes through so much laundry powder sometimes I
Speaker 7: think she's just doing washers for the sake of it.
Speaker 3: Doesn't want to get out over the routine.
Speaker 6: Now that she's like, can you hang the wash up?
Speaker 6: Opened up? There's a pillowcase. Broke tip?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah over consumers that broad tip. Okay, what
Speaker 1: are your broke tips?
Speaker 7: You go first? You want me to go go first?
Speaker 7: I've got one. I've got one. It's like how to
Speaker 7: save money, and I've just figured this out because I've
Speaker 7: done it. Now popular subscription service costs quite a little
Speaker 7: bit per month. However, I was recently told about a
Speaker 7: specific sports team that you can actually buy a membership
Speaker 7: from and get this subscription for free for twelve months
Speaker 7: now of the streaming service. The streaming service as well
Speaker 7: as the membership. Now I'm a member of this particular
Speaker 7: sports team. Now, don't support them, but it is one
Speaker 7: off payment of two hundred and fifty dollars, which is
Speaker 7: far less.
Speaker 3: Than a full years worth of subscription of this dream. Also,
Speaker 3: are there any other benefits from being a member of
Speaker 3: this sport?
Speaker 7: I can go to the games for the whole year
Speaker 7: for free Western Sydney.
Speaker 6: Yeah, because I'm a member from an entry level member.
Speaker 1: Really saving actually quite a lot of money.
Speaker 6: I've got a lanyard and everything.
Speaker 5: There you go and now when someone asks who your
Speaker 5: teen is, you can go. You know how Bloody loves y.
Speaker 7: Yes, I won't throw the subscription service under the bus.
Speaker 6: I don't want them to find.
Speaker 7: Out that's mine. That's it's actually quite a significant amount
Speaker 7: of savings.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's actually really good.
Speaker 5: We're gonna have to give tell us off the air
Speaker 5: and if anyone wants to know, we'll slide to a
Speaker 5: DM because I just know that people are going to ask.
Speaker 1: I have a feeling anyway. Sorry, I won't get into it,
Speaker 1: but I can't.
Speaker 6: Say anymore much.
Speaker 3: Want to get holder.
Speaker 6: Of every sports team in Sydney.
Speaker 1: Okay, what's yours?
Speaker 3: My saving tip is what comes from my mom. And
Speaker 3: for those who may not be aware, I'm one of
Speaker 3: five kids. We were raised by a single parent, my
Speaker 3: mom queen. So she's a teacher, not a big salary,
Speaker 3: so you know we were We watched every dollar.
Speaker 6: She makes up for an impersonality.
Speaker 3: She does she does, but from a very young age,
Speaker 3: she used to just on a Sunday she would do
Speaker 3: these really big cookups. We would then live off that
Speaker 3: meal for bloody ages. We have our freezing to just
Speaker 3: be foot chock full of his frozen dishes. And the
Speaker 3: two that she would always go for spaghetti bolonnaise and lasagna,
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And also because it was fishing to cook right yeah yeah,
Speaker 3: and they would have chili coon cahne. It's mints killing me.
Speaker 3: But but now that we're all adults and we're all
Speaker 3: you know, financially secure at this point, mom still has
Speaker 3: the same mentality to save money. So recently we went
Speaker 3: on a holiday to rock Hampton, all of the family together.
Speaker 3: It was my younger brother's birthday. And you know, rock
Speaker 3: Hampton has supermarkets, it has restaurants, everything that we would have.
Speaker 3: But there was a lot of us there, a lot
Speaker 3: of kids, and my mom thought that the best thing
Speaker 3: to do, not knowing what type of kitchen we would
Speaker 3: have in the holiday house, she did a big cook
Speaker 3: up and she in one bag that she checked in
Speaker 3: on the flight. It was full of frozen lasagna and
Speaker 3: spaghetti bolonnaise on the flight. Whenever we go on a holiday.
Speaker 3: My mom will bring with her enough food so we
Speaker 3: don't have to eat out at all.
Speaker 1: You don't have a heart to say, mum, that's kind
Speaker 1: of the point of the holidays.
Speaker 3: I was like, come on, this is ridiculous, Mum, Like,
Speaker 3: we don't need we don't need to bring it along.
Speaker 3: And on this particular flight, they lost our luggage. It
Speaker 3: was a morning flight, not many flights out to Rockhampton,
Speaker 3: so we didn't get the bags back until like eleven
Speaker 3: o'clock that evening. And if he thought, I was like,
Speaker 3: we're not going to we just will throw out the
Speaker 3: food because it's you know, it's surely it's not good
Speaker 3: to eat anyway. We all ate it a ton of money.
Speaker 1: It would have been just right by the time you
Speaker 1: got it. We're so ready to by that point nothing.
Speaker 1: That's a great, great, great broke tip. Actually, it's a
Speaker 1: good story that I've heard.
Speaker 6: I've heard bits of that.
Speaker 3: Story before and it's I love that story.
Speaker 5: If you had kids that do that thing where they
Speaker 5: only eat one meal, that would be like your saving grace.
Speaker 5: Like if you had a kid who's like, all I
Speaker 5: want is.
Speaker 1: Nothing is ideal, eating nothing is better.
Speaker 7: So hard to get your kids to eat, you know, Like,
Speaker 7: so we were away right and I got a steak
Speaker 7: and my youngest Macy, was like, I want some. I
Speaker 7: was like, okay, cool sounds loved it, made stake at home.
Speaker 7: Didn't want to bar it for that environment. You guys,
Speaker 7: Micheline star chef.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have thought that you're not I mean anyway
Speaker 1: Michelin Star chef.
Speaker 3: Given the bear sort of Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely chef.
Speaker 7: So this is off the so off the back of
Speaker 7: our podcast, we joke about something that I have done
Speaker 7: since having children is that I've never thrown well, hang on.
Speaker 3: It's hard to know if this is genius or sad.
Speaker 1: This is people to decide.
Speaker 7: Yeah, now I feel like it's sad. It is sad
Speaker 7: for them, not for me. I'm enjoying it. It's now
Speaker 7: a sport for me. This I go every year just
Speaker 7: with one goal. Okay, so since having kids, I have
Speaker 7: never thrown them a birthday party?
Speaker 1: How are your kids?
Speaker 6: Either of them? Five?
Speaker 1: And okay, five is pushing you luck.
Speaker 7: I'm deep in it. I'm deeping it now. But like
Speaker 7: I said, it's an Olympic sport for me now. So
Speaker 7: the reason I don't do that and how I get
Speaker 7: around it is I take my kids to other people's
Speaker 7: birthday parties and tell them it's their party as well.
Speaker 7: And it's gotten to the point where I have my
Speaker 7: daughter who's two, and one of my really good friends
Speaker 7: has a son who's born on the same day but
Speaker 7: a year later, so he's one.
Speaker 6: So we recently went.
Speaker 7: To his first birthday, and it's such an ongoing joke
Speaker 7: amongst my friends and us on the podcast that midway
Speaker 7: through the Happy Birthday where they went happy birth to bo,
Speaker 7: I just threw out there and May and then they
Speaker 7: whipped out another cake. Oh, and I sung Macy Happy Birthday.
Speaker 7: And I success because it was in November. I successfully
Speaker 7: had got through another year of not throwing my kid's
Speaker 7: a birthday party, hence saving me all the money and stress. Yes,
Speaker 7: I'm throwing a birthday are very expensive.
Speaker 6: I wouldn't know.
Speaker 1: You would get to a point where you're inviting her
Speaker 1: friends to other people's birthday. Now that's going to be that.
Speaker 6: I'm just going to make sure she's friends with everyone.
Speaker 3: Well, most those birthday parties are in parks, aren't they.
Speaker 3: You just turn up, so it's not it's easy to
Speaker 3: invite other games.
Speaker 7: As long as it's a round about the right month.
Speaker 7: If I get a birthday, invite a round about. Yeah
Speaker 7: it's Oscar had about twelve birthdays last year. Spoil, he's
Speaker 7: about to start work. Yeah, I honestly haven't spent a
Speaker 7: sen on birthdays.
Speaker 5: Birthdays are expensive for kids. There you go, that's a
Speaker 5: good little brute tip for here. I don't know how
Speaker 5: many people are going to take you up on that, but.
Speaker 6: Those parents that are expecting start early.
Speaker 1: Yes, plan the due date around someone else's or we
Speaker 1: could actually do that for ourselves. I might do that
Speaker 1: this year with one of my friends. I'm going to
Speaker 1: do that.
Speaker 5: Well, let's go to a really quick break, and when
Speaker 5: we come back, we are going to chat more about kids.
Speaker 5: We're going to talk about where the pocket money is
Speaker 5: a good idea, and we're also going to chat about
Speaker 5: managing expectations with children that maybe aren't your own. So
Speaker 5: don't go anywhere.
Speaker 1: Welcome back everyone. Here's our money dilemma.
Speaker 4: Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just
Speaker 4: can't solve The She's on the Money team is here
Speaker 4: to help. Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big
Speaker 4: and small, to answer your most burning money, career and
Speaker 4: life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website
Speaker 4: and leave us a short voice recording and you might
Speaker 4: just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a
Speaker 4: listen to this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 8: Hi, guys, wanted to write him with a bit of
Speaker 8: dilemma I'm having at the moment. So my hobby and
Speaker 8: I we've got a bit of opposing views on pocket.
Speaker 3: Money for our eleven year old son.
Speaker 8: So up until now, he's been you know, generally really
Speaker 8: sweet and have for kid, always cleans up his room
Speaker 8: and helps out with really basic things. You know, when
Speaker 8: I ask him to do something, he does it, and
Speaker 8: of course we give him when you know, what he
Speaker 8: wants when he needs money, so a little tree, going
Speaker 8: to the movie, something like that. I'm pretty keen for
Speaker 8: this to continue. My thought being that it's important that
Speaker 8: he's expected to help with household chores and not you know,
Speaker 8: you don't specifically get money for those tasks. It's something
Speaker 8: that you should contribute to the household. However, my husband
Speaker 8: wants to up the chores, so make him do more
Speaker 8: and give him a certain amount of money, as he
Speaker 8: thinks this will teach him kind of a better value
Speaker 8: for money and hard work. And we're at a bit
Speaker 8: of an impasse, and I was just wondering what you
Speaker 8: all think.
Speaker 5: You know, what's really excited to me is having people
Speaker 5: who are actually parents here because we have answered questions
Speaker 5: about kids in the past, and neither of us I mean,
Speaker 5: just the disease. Maybe the perspective is a little bit different.
Speaker 7: I mean, our kids are much younger, but we mine
Speaker 7: are like they're at the age where it's like, he's
Speaker 7: a good example for my son. He was so scared
Speaker 7: or not scared. He just didn't want to cut his hair.
Speaker 7: So I said, you cut your hair, you'll get rewarded
Speaker 7: with something. So now what he does is he's like,
Speaker 7: I need a headcut to be rewarded. I think she
Speaker 7: says there, she's like, he wants to up the chores.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 7: I don't see if he wants to up it. I
Speaker 7: think the kids should be compensated.
Speaker 5: We're all about people being paid for the work that
Speaker 5: they do here on this podcast.
Speaker 7: Happy if she's already happy with him doing those those
Speaker 7: low lying activities, the ship kicker activities, and then he's like, well.
Speaker 6: I want him to do more important work.
Speaker 3: At least you get paid for it.
Speaker 1: Plow the plow the field or whatever.
Speaker 3: I kind of agree with you. I do think as
Speaker 3: well that she's got this unicorn child.
Speaker 5: Oh ye.
Speaker 3: First of all, congratulations on winning a lottery write book
Speaker 3: the best kid, Yeah, because that does not happen often.
Speaker 3: I grew up having to have like a star chart,
Speaker 3: and so we had we had certain jobs. There was
Speaker 3: one that we had a little plastic bag and we
Speaker 3: had to fill it with weeds, and then, you know,
Speaker 3: a certain number of stars would then get you something
Speaker 3: that you wanted at the end of the week, and
Speaker 3: that then progressed when we were older, going into you know,
Speaker 3: like year seven, year eight, we would get an amount
Speaker 3: of pocket money.
Speaker 6: Was part of the cartel.
Speaker 3: Whipping. It's just like his bag full of weise. We
Speaker 3: definitely ask kids we needed to have some type of
Speaker 3: incentive to get those jobs done, the shitty ones like
Speaker 3: the cleaning the toilet, doing the gardening, washing the car,
Speaker 3: things that we didn't really enjoy. And it was good
Speaker 3: for me because it taught me, you know, you had
Speaker 3: to if you want something, you got to put in
Speaker 3: the effort. You've got to get the work done a
Speaker 3: bit of discipline. But then also eventually, when I was
Speaker 3: in my early teens, I could then start saving for
Speaker 3: money and I understood like how to use money and yeah,
Speaker 3: so it was a good foundation for me. But I
Speaker 3: do think the risk is if you've got a kid
Speaker 3: who's already doing the work happily, like don't rock the boat.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I think on the work, they kind of answer
Speaker 7: their own question by adding their like, he wants them
Speaker 7: to do more than you get compensated. So the things
Speaker 7: that he's doing for free, they're still free chores.
Speaker 3: But the kid, the kid doesn't want to be compensated.
Speaker 3: The dad saying you should be compensated. The kid's not
Speaker 3: complaining work. The kid until he starts to understand take
Speaker 3: an advantage, he's exactly yeah.
Speaker 6: Then it's like, then he's just going to be bitter.
Speaker 6: He's going to start a union.
Speaker 3: He's not.
Speaker 6: He's going to start a union. He's like a robot.
Speaker 6: Think of it.
Speaker 7: Think of the knock on effects. It's going to start
Speaker 7: a union. It's going to get his buddies over and
Speaker 7: they're going to rally out the front.
Speaker 3: I disagree, protest, get a pick it going. At some
Speaker 3: point I think at some point asking for better conditions.
Speaker 3: It's good, and it's good. It's good to have some
Speaker 3: type of monetary exchange.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I think so. I think so they can learn
Speaker 7: the value of money. That much that is, that's up
Speaker 7: to them. How much money they've got, I don't know.
Speaker 6: Look, if he.
Speaker 7: Doesn't want to do the work money, If he doesn't
Speaker 7: want to do the work, I'll do it.
Speaker 5: We could all use the extra cash.
Speaker 6: Do I get pocket money? I can't remember.
Speaker 1: See there you go, remember, don't give them any money?
Speaker 6: Say that I would have. Yeah, I don't remember anything
Speaker 6: any specifics.
Speaker 7: Actually, yeah, my sister got paid for making the school lunches.
Speaker 3: She's older.
Speaker 6: Her lunches were ship.
Speaker 1: Paid those capo dogs. So I think, I just I
Speaker 1: don't know. Like obviously we don't have children together or separately.
Speaker 3: Would you pay a small child to come to your
Speaker 3: house and do work?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would. But I think also there are other
Speaker 1: ways that you can be like as you were saying,
Speaker 1: like with the star chart and stuff, there are otherwise
Speaker 1: you can feel like you've achieved something by doing these
Speaker 1: small things. So I think that, like, you know, rewarding
Speaker 1: your child in other ways, and if you're already kind
Speaker 1: of like getting everything he needs if you if you
Speaker 1: need to go to the movies or not needs to
Speaker 1: go to the movies. If you want to go to movies,
Speaker 1: you give him money for it. You know, things like that.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, there's already this kind of like
Speaker 1: really nice dynamic that you've got going on. I don't
Speaker 1: think it's necessary, but it's a different story. If you
Speaker 1: are wanting to start teaching financial literacy, and if that's
Speaker 1: what you are want to do eventually, that's what you
Speaker 1: want to do. Now you think that he's in a
Speaker 1: he has capacity to understand that right now, then go ahead.
Speaker 1: If not, I think it's fine to just kind of like,
Speaker 1: because chores are expected, you're going to have to do
Speaker 1: chorores the rest of your life. Yeah. So I don't know,
Speaker 1: but that's just me. I don't have a single child, So.
Speaker 5: No, I as a as a pet parent, she was attacked. No,
Speaker 5: I agree. I think that the important thing is is
Speaker 5: as an adult, I think you can really tell the
Speaker 5: difference between people who had to work for things as
Speaker 5: a child and people who didn't. Like I think it's
Speaker 5: really obvious as you get older, the people who learned
Speaker 5: those lessons and actually have to work for things versus
Speaker 5: the people who maybe were in more affluent situations or
Speaker 5: their parents were a bit more cruisy and happy to
Speaker 5: just let them do as they did. I think it
Speaker 5: really ultimately raises two different types of people. And as
Speaker 5: you were saying, like, you come to a point in
Speaker 5: life where unfortunately we all have to work for a living,
Speaker 5: and so I think getting them to earn them pocket
Speaker 5: money sets them up to understand the way that the
Speaker 5: world works. Like in addition to the financial literacy benefits,
Speaker 5: I think it really teaches you like there are shit jobs,
Speaker 5: like sometimes you don't want to turn up and do
Speaker 5: what you have to do, but you got to do it,
Speaker 5: and so I think it really teaches those skills in
Speaker 5: addition to as you were saying, like understanding that, you know,
Speaker 5: the exchange between doing a job and earning money and
Speaker 5: the concept of saving that money up to purchase something
Speaker 5: like those are all really good lessons. But I think
Speaker 5: more than anything it helps I mean, I don't have
Speaker 5: a kid, so I can't say, but having observed people
Speaker 5: as adults, I think the people who didn't necessarily have
Speaker 5: to work for things are often not as well adjusted
Speaker 5: or as well equipped for the things that they have
Speaker 5: to do later in life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, personal perspective.
Speaker 3: I mean you can tell you it's the ones that
Speaker 3: didn't have to do anything with you, just like that guy. Yeah,
Speaker 3: one the ones that don't bring frozen lasagna on holiday.
Speaker 7: Resilient, like I'm just going to buy fresh lazagna.
Speaker 6: That sounds.
Speaker 5: Yeah. So I think like it's and it's hard if
Speaker 5: you and your husband, it's ultimately it's your kid and
Speaker 5: you guys have to come to an agreement. Maybe there's
Speaker 5: a middle ground where maybe it starts off as an optional. Hey,
Speaker 5: if you want some extra money to spend, you know,
Speaker 5: we cover all the things that you need, We cover
Speaker 5: what we've been doing. If you want a bit of
Speaker 5: extra cash, you can earn that by doing a chore
Speaker 5: and maybe you kind of can introduce it that way
Speaker 5: and transition over see how it goes.
Speaker 7: But I do like to teach them worth work ethic
Speaker 7: because they can start like fifteen hour he's eleven.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a few more years and he's going to be
Speaker 3: in the trenches.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's going to be working at Red Rooster. McDonald's
Speaker 5: absolutely triggering to think. I don't know, but I totally agree.
Speaker 5: I think not to be a little monotonous, but I
Speaker 5: do want to talk about kids a bit more.
Speaker 1: While we've got the experts in.
Speaker 5: The room, I think you could never ask, might as
Speaker 5: well take advantag So let's get into this week's juicy DM,
Speaker 5: which actually caused some conversation at our family dinner this week.
Speaker 5: Oh so, our listener said, I'm an auntie to two
Speaker 5: beautiful nieces, but they are spoilt rotten by my brother
Speaker 5: and his wife. The girls are twelve and ten and
Speaker 5: are getting really obsessed with materialistic things, and I see
Speaker 5: a real pattern of excessive spending in the girls. The
Speaker 5: other day, I took the girls to a movie and
Speaker 5: to the shops, where they insisted on going into their
Speaker 5: favorite shop, Mecca. They both found items that were over
Speaker 5: one hundred dollars and expected me to purchase them for them.
Speaker 5: When I told them that that would not be happening,
Speaker 5: they had massive tantrums and got very upset with me,
Speaker 5: saying Mum or Dad would never say no. I'm worried
Speaker 5: my brother isn't teaching the girls good values around money,
Speaker 5: and so my question is can I say something to
Speaker 5: them or is it really not my place to tell
Speaker 5: them how to parent? Will they get defensive and be offended?
Speaker 5: It is their kids, after all, But I'm worried that
Speaker 5: they haven't realized the lessons they're teaching the girls around money,
Speaker 5: and they might need someone to give them a bit
Speaker 5: of a reality check.
Speaker 7: So yeah, I think, like, look, cland none of your
Speaker 7: business as well. Like, but also you don't want to
Speaker 7: if you set the expectation what it's going to be
Speaker 7: like with you, that's fine, but you can't really like,
Speaker 7: you can't really go and tell your sister or your
Speaker 7: brother sorry, how to parent that.
Speaker 3: Well, it depends on the relationship that you have, Like
Speaker 3: I guess there could be a situation where they could
Speaker 3: be very responsive to getting that type of feedback, But
Speaker 3: you would assume based on how I am, based on
Speaker 3: how you are. Most parents out there, taking any type
Speaker 3: of criticism from a family member is always going to
Speaker 3: end badly.
Speaker 7: Yeah, nine times out of ten, Like as much as
Speaker 7: you can try and sugarcoat it, like, how are you
Speaker 7: supposed to say your kids are spoiled?
Speaker 6: Little shit? Yeah? How you're supposed to say that?
Speaker 7: Likely?
Speaker 3: I agree with her concerns. I think, Oh, there's no
Speaker 3: question that she is likely going to be these children
Speaker 3: are going to grow up to being title little brats. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but like, also what sort of person is that is
Speaker 3: the auntie as well?
Speaker 7: If it's like what, like her value is obviously very
Speaker 7: different to her brothers.
Speaker 6: How is their upbringing any different?
Speaker 3: Or is she just on a high horse or I
Speaker 3: don't know, well, I think but I or she no child?
Speaker 3: Is she going to Mecca? Hang? I don't think any
Speaker 3: child should go to Mecca. It doesn't matter how you've
Speaker 3: been brought up. Shouldn't be getting a hundred bucks off
Speaker 3: the back of anything not saying I think like as
Speaker 3: a as a benchmark rule, like I don't agree with it,
Speaker 3: but unfortunately that's not enough to warrant you know, you
Speaker 3: stepping in and being like you're being I don't agree
Speaker 3: with your.
Speaker 7: Shit too, because all their friends could be getting Mecca
Speaker 7: and they were like, well mom and dad aren't here,
Speaker 7: let's try and bum steer out.
Speaker 6: You don't know, but.
Speaker 7: I think like it's not worth risking the relationship with
Speaker 7: the rest of the family when they need to work
Speaker 7: it out on their own.
Speaker 3: They need to work out that their kids are spoiled
Speaker 3: little shit on their own, as like as long as
Speaker 3: those kids are happy and healthy and well fed. Unfortunately
Speaker 3: you can't.
Speaker 7: It's kind of like the rule you say, everything right,
Speaker 7: as long as the kids are happy and healthy and welfare,
Speaker 7: which is true. I mean, I don't know these people personally,
Speaker 7: so I would say, yeah, like I agree with you
Speaker 7: if they're happy and healthy, but also maybe just butt
Speaker 7: out a bit.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: What came up at the dinner table with my sister
Speaker 5: in law, who hilariously I have two nieces, and what
Speaker 5: she brought up was the fact that often at that
Speaker 5: age they test the boundary. So it could very well
Speaker 5: be that mum and dad wouldn't spend the money at
Speaker 5: Mecca or wouldn't do that, but the girls are just
Speaker 5: trying it on to see. Oh well, maybe be said,
Speaker 5: maybe the auntie is gonna be like, oh else, that's
Speaker 5: what mum and dad will do. By all means, yeah,
Speaker 5: as someone who doesn't have kids, and maybe it's not
Speaker 5: my place to say, but I do think it's worth
Speaker 5: maybe gently raising the conversation or raising your concerns, even
Speaker 5: just sharing the story of what happened exactly.
Speaker 7: I think it's a manipulators too, Yeah, I mean Marley
Speaker 7: and Lola that we've had before with the babysitters called
Speaker 7: us up and said Marley said that she's allowed to
Speaker 7: have a full block of chocolate.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what, no.
Speaker 3: Chance, and Mary is like, oh sorry, Mi'm st sorry.
Speaker 6: I didn't think should actually call me out on that.
Speaker 5: So I almost think maybe it's worth even just letting
Speaker 5: your brother know, your sister in law know the story
Speaker 5: of what happens, like, hey, we want to be this happened,
Speaker 5: you know, wasn't sure what to do because, to be honest,
Speaker 5: if my nieces did that to me, like especially if
Speaker 5: they started to get a bit towy in the store,
Speaker 5: I'd have a little meltdown, like I wouldn't know what
Speaker 5: to do, right, Like I don't have kids, you know
Speaker 5: what I mean, Like I would be embarrassed, and I
Speaker 5: would just be like, okay, like whatever you want, let's
Speaker 5: get out of here, like let's get done, and so
Speaker 5: like I can I almost feel like sharing the perspective
Speaker 5: of saying, hey, like if I'm going to take the
Speaker 5: girls out or if I'm going to do whatever, like
Speaker 5: that's not really something that can happen because I'm not
Speaker 5: equipped to handle it or I'm not prepared to spend that, Like,
Speaker 5: I think there's something in it.
Speaker 7: You could tell the story like, yeah, like that happened
Speaker 7: with that in a non judge way.
Speaker 6: Yeah, look, I would agree with that.
Speaker 7: I suppose just to see you could gauge what the
Speaker 7: reaction would be before you start to.
Speaker 1: Read the room a little bit.
Speaker 5: Yes, I think you can flag it without necessarily coming
Speaker 5: in and being like, hey, your girls are little shits
Speaker 5: and they're really entitled and blah blah. Like I think
Speaker 5: you could just maybe bring it up and have the
Speaker 5: conversation and see what happens from there. Because they also
Speaker 5: think it's very valid for you to not want to
Speaker 5: spend that money. And if you're like me and you're
Speaker 5: not sure what to do in that situation, I can
Speaker 5: see how that would be kind of hard to handle.
Speaker 1: Absolutely. I also think too, like, no one really needs
Speaker 1: to worry too much. Like I totally get that, like
Speaker 1: people's upbrings and stuff like really shape who they are
Speaker 1: as a person when they go into adult life. But
Speaker 1: a lot of our like the way that we are
Speaker 1: and a lot of things we learn it does happen
Speaker 1: in our lady years. So I have friends who have
Speaker 1: like kind of grown up like this, well, they probably like,
Speaker 1: I don't even I only literally just learn what the
Speaker 1: word mecca is personally. But I'm like, and you can
Speaker 1: kind of tell. But some people grew up in you know,
Speaker 1: really really affluent affluent is the world affluent house I
Speaker 1: did almost say it. They kind of you know, grow
Speaker 1: up in these really affluent households, and they don't really
Speaker 1: you know, I can kind of see the difference, but
Speaker 1: only slightly now because people once you like, start mingling
Speaker 1: with other people from different walks of life and different
Speaker 1: experiences and different everything too. That's when you start kind
Speaker 1: of like your own like identity and where you are
Speaker 1: in the world and where you're placed in the world
Speaker 1: kind of like is shaped. So I think that even
Speaker 1: if that right now they're spoilt, I think that when
Speaker 1: they grow up and they start mingling with different people,
Speaker 1: different social groups, meeting people that they really get along
Speaker 1: with but maybe grew up poor and like just kind
Speaker 1: of being like, their eyes will be open to like
Speaker 1: other experiences. And I feel like, you don't e worry
Speaker 1: too much about how they are as children, because yeah,
Speaker 1: they could be manipulating her, they could be anything, but
Speaker 1: we all kind of our formative years. This is not
Speaker 1: backed by science. I don't know when the formative years are,
Speaker 1: but I feel like socially and all of these things,
Speaker 1: it's kind of like, you know, yeah, you know, late teens,
Speaker 1: early twenties when we start really meaning different types of
Speaker 1: people from different walks of life. So I think that
Speaker 1: don't swear it yet. What does the community have to say.
Speaker 5: I'll do a really quick whip around because as all ways,
Speaker 5: we asked you guys, what you think on Instagram? If
Speaker 5: you want to join us, you can find us at
Speaker 5: ches and the money aus. So firstly we said do
Speaker 5: you think this person should say something? Sixty one percent
Speaker 5: said yes, they have good intentions, and thirty nine percent
Speaker 5: said no, it's not their place to tell them how
Speaker 5: to parent. Then we said, if you said yes, have
Speaker 5: you got any advice on how to bring it up?
Speaker 5: And so we had a few kind of very different perspectives.
Speaker 5: Some people said you should be able to discuss these
Speaker 5: things with close family and some people said you absolutely
Speaker 5: should not touch that with a ten foot pole if
Speaker 5: you want to keep a good relationship. So there's very
Speaker 5: differing perspectives on that one, and I guess it really
Speaker 5: comes down to what your relationship with your family is
Speaker 5: have you spoken about these things before? One person said
Speaker 5: a really good, I think example of what to say,
Speaker 5: and she said, discuss the tantrum that the girls had
Speaker 5: in response to the word no, Rather than making it
Speaker 5: about the money and the other stuff, talk about the
Speaker 5: behavior and what your experience with that was, which I
Speaker 5: think is pretty valid and kind of going back to
Speaker 5: what we were saying before. Then we asked, if you
Speaker 5: are a parent, what are some of the main values
Speaker 5: or lessons that you tried to teach your kids around money.
Speaker 5: One person said how you earn it and how important
Speaker 5: it is to save. Another person said that you need
Speaker 5: to work for what you want, and somebody else said
Speaker 5: that money needs to be earned and should be spent,
Speaker 5: but it needs to be spent based on our needs
Speaker 5: and our values before our once, which I think is
Speaker 5: really relevant, particularly to the idea of a twelve year
Speaker 5: old dropping one hundred dollars in Mecca. And then lastly
Speaker 5: we said tell us your two cents. Somebody said it
Speaker 5: takes a village to raise a child. You can help
Speaker 5: to teach them values too, which I thought was a
Speaker 5: really nice take. It could be hard, maybe if your
Speaker 5: values conflict, and I'd be interested to know what you
Speaker 5: guys think as parents like that in regards to that.
Speaker 6: Yeah, like I suppose her value.
Speaker 7: Well, again, we don't know if thin the kids were
Speaker 7: manipulative or whatever, but like I know, like my sister
Speaker 7: and my parenting styles are very different. And look, some
Speaker 7: of the things she does say I would agree with
Speaker 7: and I could do better, But some things I don't
Speaker 7: agree with and I don't think.
Speaker 3: That they work. But like, you've got.
Speaker 7: To try and find some common grounds somewhere because everyone's
Speaker 7: going to be different. Every kid's going to be different,
Speaker 7: so it does take a village. And like sometimes, like
Speaker 7: I said, you take bits of advice from those around you,
Speaker 7: but some you don't agree with it all and you
Speaker 7: sort of just push it aside and try and do
Speaker 7: what's best for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally relevant.
Speaker 5: Somebody said, my mum always said yes to me when
Speaker 5: I was a child, and then when I got older,
Speaker 5: I really struggled to save and to not shop. So
Speaker 5: it's an interesting look at me needing impact for the
Speaker 5: flow and effects that that can have. Somebody else said
Speaker 5: that kids can be fully want want want because of
Speaker 5: social media and marketing, which I think is something that
Speaker 5: I've really seen, like again with the mecha thing. My
Speaker 5: nieces are a little bit younger than this listeners that
Speaker 5: they talk about wanting drunk elephant skincare and stuff that you.
Speaker 1: Go, I don't have that.
Speaker 5: As someone who's nearly thirty, it's crazy to me that
Speaker 5: you think that you need that. Do you guys see
Speaker 5: that with your kids at all? Them kind of mirroring
Speaker 5: They're quite young, aren't they?
Speaker 3: So maybe not much yea Marley's five. I mean, it's
Speaker 3: crazy when she watches YouTube and she'll be watching Gabby's
Speaker 3: Dollhouse and then after an episode there's an advert for
Speaker 3: to buy a Gabby Dollhouse toy, and you know it
Speaker 3: just that little ecosystem is so crazy, so well designed
Speaker 3: to make them want more and more and more. It
Speaker 3: is it's hard work as a parent to always say no, yeah.
Speaker 7: I find like throwing them off the scent is better,
Speaker 7: Like you'd be like, yeah, maybe like for your birthday
Speaker 7: next year, not let he gets a birthday, but you know,
Speaker 7: like you know, if you're a really good boy, or
Speaker 7: for Christmas.
Speaker 3: It was like, look, if you a really good boy,
Speaker 3: you're right.
Speaker 7: To sounding you're telling what you really want then you know, maybe,
Speaker 7: but you're also going to look at you know, giving
Speaker 7: to others and shit like that. Yeah, you try and
Speaker 7: move instead of just being like no, you know yeah,
Speaker 7: YouTube is like bit shit.
Speaker 3: Yeah. When that person was talking about it takes a
Speaker 3: village to raise a child, absolutely agree, But at the
Speaker 3: same time, I think the rules and the standards are
Speaker 3: very much enforced by the parents, other family members and friends.
Speaker 3: They then follow suit. So it's really bloody hard if
Speaker 3: you disagree at its core with how the parents are
Speaker 3: raising that child. So that's where it's it's like you
Speaker 3: hope that you would all be on the same page.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm very much sometimes I have to tell
Speaker 3: other family members don't come over with a toy each time,
Speaker 3: like my brothers for example, that are in a different state,
Speaker 3: so whenever they arrive, they bring a toy with them,
Speaker 3: even if it's not a birthday or a Christmas present.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to build resilience into my children. I'm very
Speaker 3: much like, stop with the gifts in the presence.
Speaker 6: You don't want to say, do you know what?
Speaker 7: The kids having this expectation is that you see that
Speaker 7: person automatically get something, They're going to back you up,
Speaker 7: because ultimately they're your kid, right Yeah, I think like, yeah,
Speaker 7: in that person who's like got the dilemma, it might
Speaker 7: be worth just saying, hey, I didn't know how to
Speaker 7: deal with this, how would you deal with it? Just
Speaker 7: see what the reaction is instead of going your parenting
Speaker 7: them wrong.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you disagree, punch them out.
Speaker 1: Amazing.
Speaker 5: I feel like that's a really good place to leave.
Speaker 5: I think, yeah, ultimately, work with the parent, not against them.
Speaker 5: It's not your kid at the end of the day.
Speaker 5: And if they do raise someone who's not in line
Speaker 5: with your morals, they're not your child, and so exactly,
Speaker 5: you know, your circus, not your mom showing forever and
Speaker 5: ever and ever. Thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 5: If people do want to hear more of you, where
Speaker 5: can they find you? Where can they listen? What can
Speaker 5: they watch.
Speaker 3: Two Doting Dads wherever you get your podcasts from. We're
Speaker 3: also on socials, We're at two Doting Dads on Instagram, TikTok.
Speaker 3: We also have a Facebook group and I'm just going
Speaker 3: to confirm the Two Doting Dads on Facebook. YouTube is
Speaker 3: the You can also find us on you very good
Speaker 3: at what we do the two doting dads and we
Speaker 3: have a Facebook group as well, so we're bloody everywhere
Speaker 3: we are.
Speaker 5: Candave incredible, Well, thank you so much for joinings.
Speaker 1: Was really called it at a fresh perspective.
Speaker 5: Love having an actual parent here to comment on parenting phenomenal.
Speaker 5: Thank you guys so much for tuning in. Victoria will
Speaker 5: see you bright early for Money Diary on Monday. Have
Speaker 5: a great weekend.
Speaker 3: Bye guys.
Speaker 4: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
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