Speaker 1: Hi Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist and listen
Speaker 1: live on the Free iHeart app.
Speaker 2: A good pickup with Britt Hockley.
Speaker 3: And Laura Burn Brady or what our windows down?
Speaker 1: If my worries in the dust? Only good fab dog
Speaker 1: all down? I've done much, but yeah I'm not our
Speaker 1: big get.
Speaker 2: And what I want it don't matter where that goes.
Speaker 2: This is the pickup.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the middle of the week. Everyone, It's the
Speaker 1: pickup with Brett Hockey and Laura Burn.
Speaker 2: Is that your way, Laura of trying to avoid seeing
Speaker 2: hump day?
Speaker 1: The week hump day? It's the downhood slide from here though,
Speaker 1: Isn't it like you're already over the hump by the
Speaker 1: end of the afternoon of Wednesday?
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 4: Could be a road question. Do you prefer the start
Speaker 4: of the week or the end of the week.
Speaker 1: End of the week. Yeah, start of the week is
Speaker 1: very intense for us from a work perspective, and then
Speaker 1: it kind of just like tape is out down. I
Speaker 1: like a good taper. Also, go for YOCHI a f afternoon.
Speaker 1: I love that as well. Do you know what I
Speaker 1: don't love?
Speaker 2: Tell me?
Speaker 1: This is probably too much information for everyone. But yesterday
Speaker 1: I ate a sandwich and I had onions in it,
Speaker 1: and I hate onions. I hate them. I hate them.
Speaker 1: I hate them. Raw onions shouldn't be on anything. And
Speaker 1: now all I can smell is onions in my microphone,
Speaker 1: like I breathed it into the soft cushioned part of
Speaker 1: this microphone, and I feel physically unwell.
Speaker 4: It was still a choice that you made to eat
Speaker 4: said onions that you hate.
Speaker 2: You could have taken them off.
Speaker 1: What was I gonna do?
Speaker 2: Take them my whole lunch onion sandwich.
Speaker 1: It permeates through everything. It really does. Once it's on
Speaker 1: a sandwich, it's ruined. I picked them off, but it
Speaker 1: wasn't good enough.
Speaker 4: We're a solid couple of meters away from each other,
Speaker 4: so as you stay on that side of the room
Speaker 4: and it doesn't come out the other end, we're.
Speaker 1: Good now, Britt. Have you seen the trend that is
Speaker 1: currently going viral on TikTok and it is parents quizzing
Speaker 1: their kids on really toxic sayings that they probably heard
Speaker 1: when they were growing up, when they were kids from
Speaker 1: their own parents.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I sort of not gonna lie. I have seen it,
Speaker 4: but I usually scoop past them because the kid contents
Speaker 4: not hugely.
Speaker 1: It's not you, it's not in your sphere.
Speaker 2: But I've seen them.
Speaker 4: They're sort of like those scenes on like kids should
Speaker 4: be seen and not heard.
Speaker 2: It's that kind of stuff, isn't it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And you know what. I saw one of these
Speaker 1: about two weeks ago, and it was the first one
Speaker 1: that I saw, and the response was really really beautiful
Speaker 1: from the little kid, and it was kind of this
Speaker 1: gorgeous full circle moment from a mum who had obviously
Speaker 1: had a really rough childhood, who had probably heard all
Speaker 1: these things from her parents, and then she would say
Speaker 1: the start of a really toxic sentence that we probably
Speaker 1: have all heard growing up at some different points, and
Speaker 1: then her child had to answer them. Have a little
Speaker 1: listen to how this goes down.
Speaker 5: Children should be seen and happy, go accent. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 5: I brought you into this world from the hospital. From
Speaker 5: the hospital.
Speaker 3: And the other one is stop crying. I'll give you kimmy.
Speaker 2: Oh that's so sweet, it really is.
Speaker 1: It is so sweet. Okay. So I want to read
Speaker 1: you some of these other really toxic sayings that are
Speaker 1: kind of like make up these viral clips. One of
Speaker 1: them was I'm your parent, not your friend. Is the
Speaker 1: answer to that?
Speaker 2: Oh, I didn't even know what the answer maybe, and
Speaker 2: you need to quiz me.
Speaker 1: Only as long as you live under my roof, you
Speaker 1: will follow my rules. But it says, you know, they
Speaker 1: let the kids answer it. Another one is when you
Speaker 1: get to the store, don't touch anything, which I think
Speaker 1: a lot of parents probably still say to their kids.
Speaker 2: I don't think that's toxic, breaking you bought it.
Speaker 1: And the other one is just wait until your dad
Speaker 1: gets home. Now, some of these are probably worse than others.
Speaker 1: I think the one that everyone kind of knew where
Speaker 1: it was going was I'll give you something to cry about.
Speaker 1: One of the things that I have loved so deeply
Speaker 1: about becoming a mum is how much it can heal
Speaker 1: your inner child. How you get to parent in a
Speaker 1: way that maybe wasn't exactly how you were parented, or
Speaker 1: you learned from the lessons. And I tried to do
Speaker 1: this with my kids. I didn't get the same outcome. Unfortunately.
Speaker 1: Now they didn't know the toxic sentences. But I asked Lola.
Speaker 1: She understood the assignment. I asked Lola things like I
Speaker 1: brought you into this world and she would say so
Speaker 1: that you can love me, or so that kids can
Speaker 1: be loved. It was very sweet. And I asked Marley
Speaker 1: the same ones, and I said, I brought you into
Speaker 1: this world, and she said to buy me toys.
Speaker 2: So good Onie.
Speaker 1: I really had a bit of a back that kind
Speaker 1: of like spun around on me. But I think it's
Speaker 1: really beautiful that sometimes we see these trends and TikTok
Speaker 1: things and usually they're exploiting kids, and this one just
Speaker 1: was a really beautiful, feel good moment.
Speaker 4: I mean, I totally get some of those scenes that
Speaker 4: they're problematic, but there are some of them that I'm like,
Speaker 4: that's fine, Like I.
Speaker 2: Don't see the big deal.
Speaker 4: Maybe that's because I grew up in a safe, loving
Speaker 4: home and so when they were said to me, they
Speaker 4: weren't said with any maliciousness or violence or anger. I
Speaker 4: understand it's probably dependent on the home that you've grown
Speaker 4: up in.
Speaker 1: But I think your parents would have said children should
Speaker 1: be seen and not heard them.
Speaker 4: They did say that the mom had four kids about
Speaker 4: eighteen months apart, each single one and get.
Speaker 1: Out of this hour, But she would.
Speaker 4: Say it more like she would I never say it
Speaker 4: as if we weren't allowed to speak, but it was
Speaker 4: definitely a saying that was thrown around.
Speaker 2: Hey if we were interrupting, Hey kids, did it be
Speaker 2: see not heard?
Speaker 4: But it was more of a I don't want to
Speaker 4: say in Jess, but Mum would have also said way
Speaker 4: too father gets home. But that was more because we
Speaker 4: took the piece a little bit with Mum, like we
Speaker 4: pulled one over it. And it was more because Dad.
Speaker 2: Was a disciplinarian.
Speaker 4: We weren't like a smacking family or anything, but you
Speaker 4: just knew that, like Dad was the one that set the.
Speaker 2: Rules, so we could sort of like poor Mum when
Speaker 2: I look.
Speaker 4: Back, like you're like, we really tort it, like we
Speaker 4: were hard on her.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Some of these are way worse than others.
Speaker 1: I don't think any kids should ever know the ending
Speaker 1: of a sentence. I brought you into this world so
Speaker 1: I can take you out of it.
Speaker 2: No, that's what I'm saying. Some of them I totally get.
Speaker 4: Others, I'm like, we're being a bit like too much
Speaker 4: with it, you know, cotton drawl.
Speaker 1: Well, I just thought it was a really feel like nice,
Speaker 1: feel good and maybe if you guys want to check
Speaker 1: it out you can do it with your own kids
Speaker 1: and see how well your parents now.
Speaker 4: Laura, I feel like you're gonna have a story off
Speaker 4: the back of this. But there's a video that came
Speaker 4: up on my feed that had been absolutely hysterics. I
Speaker 4: do want to preface this by saying I believed it
Speaker 4: at the start.
Speaker 2: I had to go and do a deep dive to
Speaker 2: find out it was a print call.
Speaker 4: But it's this five year old Irish girl that calls
Speaker 4: the demolition company in Ireland to knock a school down.
Speaker 2: Have a listened to this?
Speaker 6: Hello, how are you?
Speaker 3: My name's Becky.
Speaker 1: Yes, I have a proposal for you. Go ahead.
Speaker 3: Are you the demolition man?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: He is the top boss, Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 6: What's the guy?
Speaker 4: Hello?
Speaker 3: I want you to help me destroy my school.
Speaker 2: Do you want to blow it up?
Speaker 3: Couldn't blow it up? Or knock it down?
Speaker 2: Whatever whatever you want done, and you just.
Speaker 3: Make sure that they're all in the building when.
Speaker 2: You knock it down, you put all their names on us.
Speaker 1: I give you a.
Speaker 4: Brilliant It's like a ten minute call where she's saying, like,
Speaker 4: my teachers, make me do your homework, knock the school down.
Speaker 4: The demolition company is in like absolute hysterics. But it
Speaker 4: made me think, have your kids ever done this where
Speaker 4: they they've called someone accidentally?
Speaker 2: Or they.
Speaker 1: Like they're not that age, Like they're not at an
Speaker 1: age where they can give Yeah, but five is not
Speaker 1: old enough to be like, do you know what, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna call a demolition company and get them to knock
Speaker 1: the school down. I also don't think it. I don't
Speaker 1: they're they're filled with that much hatred. But look, I
Speaker 1: do think their kids do things with phones and they'll
Speaker 1: they'll call people, but they don't always understand the repercussions
Speaker 1: of what they're doing. We had one instance about six
Speaker 1: months ago, so Marley would have just been five or
Speaker 1: five and a half, and she was with her cousins
Speaker 1: and they were playing on a payphone. Her cousins are
Speaker 1: all similar age, and I was like, what are they doing?
Speaker 1: And I could see that they were laughing really hard
Speaker 1: about it, and I was like, oh, I don't like that.
Speaker 1: I walked over and they just called Triple zero and
Speaker 1: someone had answered the phone, and I obviously I gave
Speaker 1: them the full schooling on why that was so problematic,
Speaker 1: and she was so upset because she didn't really understand
Speaker 1: what it was that she'd done, Like she had no
Speaker 1: comprehension about the magnitude of why that's a problem. Funny. No,
Speaker 1: she literally they just pressed some buttons and then someone
Speaker 1: answered it and they you know, and she was like,
Speaker 1: it's the police, Like she didn't know what was going on.
Speaker 1: But like I remember being a kid and doing prank
Speaker 1: calls and thinking I was so funny. I'd call my neighbor,
Speaker 1: I'd pretend to be someone really confused olga.
Speaker 2: At the time, prank calls gave me anxiety.
Speaker 4: I couldn't do them. I couldn't even do a knock
Speaker 4: and run. I was like a pretty goody two.
Speaker 1: Show, one of the yeah where one of those radio
Speaker 1: shows that can't do prank calls because everybody freaks out
Speaker 1: and freezes up. No, it's true. Well, look, actually we've
Speaker 1: got some calls coming through, speaking of nat, who did
Speaker 1: your kids call?
Speaker 6: Oh my goodness. It was the most traumatic experience.
Speaker 1: Of my adult life.
Speaker 6: I think had at the time six and a half
Speaker 6: year old daughter, and you know, hashtag mom life. I
Speaker 6: hadn't been in the working game for a while, and
Speaker 6: I finally got a gig for this new job, and
Speaker 6: the first thing they asked me to do was a
Speaker 6: FaceTime call with about seven or eight other people, the
Speaker 6: HR team, the CEOs, the bosses, like, there's some well
Speaker 6: known people here in the mix who are like in
Speaker 6: the spotlight. I'll just say that I want to give
Speaker 6: their names up. But they had the FaceTime call. Everything
Speaker 6: was great. And then later that day I actually went
Speaker 6: out and left the kid at home with her dad,
Speaker 6: and she asked if she could FaceTime all of her
Speaker 6: cousins and I said, not a problem. It's the group call,
Speaker 6: the last group call on the iPad, and I had
Speaker 6: my phone obviously, and that was fine. And then I
Speaker 6: got home and my daughter said, Mommy, I spoke to
Speaker 6: a really funny man on FaceTime today. And I said,
Speaker 6: what do you mean? What do you mean he spoke
Speaker 6: to a really funny She goes when I called my cousins,
Speaker 6: and I was like, was it your uncle?
Speaker 4: Was it?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 6: What do you mean? And I had a look, and
Speaker 6: to my shock and horror, she had FaceTime that entire
Speaker 6: last work meeting call. And the person that she'd FaceTime
Speaker 6: who answered was the CEO, the BO and the call
Speaker 6: went for eight minutes.
Speaker 4: Why was he.
Speaker 1: Spending eight minutes of his day talking to a step old.
Speaker 6: To this day, we have not addressed the elephant in
Speaker 6: the room. I have not discussed this with my bosses.
Speaker 6: My child can't articulate what was said, and just this mystery,
Speaker 6: and I'm happy for it to stay there because I
Speaker 6: don't know what happened in that eight minutes, but it
Speaker 6: was truly horrifying.
Speaker 1: That is hilarious. Also, like why would you just be
Speaker 1: like you got the wrong number, sweeting.
Speaker 2: Maybe it was like, go get your mom, because it
Speaker 2: would have come up with your name. Two to eight.
Speaker 1: Minutes, that's a full converse. That's longer than I speak
Speaker 1: to my own mother on the phone. Like that's a
Speaker 1: long time, My god, Thanks Mat. We've also got back
Speaker 1: on the line back who did your kids call?
Speaker 7: My son would have been about three at the time,
Speaker 7: and my husband was working outside and I've just kind
Speaker 7: of needed a shower, stat him on the floor of
Speaker 7: the bathroom, given him my phone, John what I had
Speaker 7: to do so I could have a five minute shower
Speaker 7: in peace. And then my husband comes running through the
Speaker 7: door about five minutes later and snatches the phone out
Speaker 7: of your hand.
Speaker 6: I'm like, what are you doing?
Speaker 7: It's like everyone's just called me. She's got live on Instagram.
Speaker 1: Yeah, your three year old went live on Instagram three
Speaker 1: only you didn't even get money from that.
Speaker 4: That's absolutely dem No one wants to be shot from
Speaker 4: the ground up. Goddamn, no one wants to be shot
Speaker 4: naked when they don't know either.
Speaker 6: I was mortified.
Speaker 7: That is so not a voice call, but yeah, probably
Speaker 7: a little bit worse.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, back, that's amazing. That's my favorite.
Speaker 2: I never want to have kids.
Speaker 7: Find the right buttons at the right time to open
Speaker 7: the app.
Speaker 1: And this is my fear. Like my kids often take
Speaker 1: my phone and they like record funny videos on like
Speaker 1: the video app or whatever. But my fear is is
Speaker 1: that one day they're gonna either accidentally post something to
Speaker 1: Instagram or they're going to open it up and just
Speaker 1: like have a chat on my Like, I live with
Speaker 1: this fear.
Speaker 2: I think that this that's warranted.
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe she's just stop.
Speaker 4: Like that a real fear. I think something that we're
Speaker 4: all guilty of, every single person, almost every single person
Speaker 4: listening right now.
Speaker 2: Doom scrolling.
Speaker 1: Not my great Nana. I mean, she's not allowed an
Speaker 1: I have a doom scrolled in her life.
Speaker 2: Put it that way, maybe she does in heaven.
Speaker 4: So doom scrolling the idea that like, we get sucked
Speaker 4: into this vortex on our phone with no purpose.
Speaker 2: We get lost down rabbit holes of Laura. I know
Speaker 2: you like to go down the rabbit holes of goats.
Speaker 2: I like hobby or scene. We all have our thing.
Speaker 1: It's really humbling when you find yourself late at night
Speaker 1: just googling. I'm not even googling, You're just like scrolling
Speaker 1: Instagram videos of pigeon ness and you're like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: how did I add here?
Speaker 2: I'm guilty of it. Not on TikTok.
Speaker 4: I'm not a TikToker, but I'm guilty of it on
Speaker 4: Instagram or sometimes just like pointless news, but the idea
Speaker 4: of like just say you're getting to bed and you're like,
Speaker 4: you know what, quick, little ten minutes, I'm just gonna
Speaker 4: search the interweb, see what's on there, and all of
Speaker 4: a sudden, you're like midnight two hours later.
Speaker 2: That's doom scrolling.
Speaker 4: And it's really prevalent in young people on TikTok, so
Speaker 4: like under eighteen kids that are supposed to be going
Speaker 4: to sleep early for school, they're getting sucked into these
Speaker 4: doom scrolling vortexes.
Speaker 2: I've actually got some stats for you on doom scrolling.
Speaker 1: Thank goodness.
Speaker 4: Yep, it makes us twelve times more likely to suffer
Speaker 4: serious mental health issues. Forty two percent of Australians engaging
Speaker 4: doom scrolling, so like, that's nearly half the population. Forty
Speaker 4: eight percent of all Australian adults have reported at least
Speaker 4: two sleep related problems.
Speaker 2: So this is what I wanted to talk to you about.
Speaker 4: It's not necessarily doom scrolling, but it's this new feature
Speaker 4: that TikTok has designed to stop doom scrolling. So now
Speaker 4: if you are under eighteen and you're a TikTok user,
Speaker 4: if you've been scrolling too long, it notes how long
Speaker 4: you've been on there, and it now pops up on
Speaker 4: your screen a guided meditation, So if you're if.
Speaker 2: You're under eighteen, it's a full screen meditation.
Speaker 4: This is when it hits ten pm because it knows
Speaker 4: that kids need sleep.
Speaker 2: Kids need to.
Speaker 4: Go to bed and get x amount of sleep to
Speaker 4: be able to work well the next day at school
Speaker 4: and operate on a normal mental basis.
Speaker 2: So it's popping these mindfulness things up.
Speaker 4: On your screen that you're supposed to do this little meditation,
Speaker 4: and if you ignore it and continue to scroll, it
Speaker 4: will pop another meditation up on your screen. That's like
Speaker 4: a bit more in your face and a bit harder
Speaker 4: to ignore. I'm just not convinced a seventeen year old,
Speaker 4: a sixteen year old is going to stop when a
Speaker 4: meditation pops up and says, oh, well, I better start
Speaker 4: my breathing.
Speaker 2: And get off TikTok. I just don't.
Speaker 1: I just think I love that they're trying.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's going to do it.
Speaker 1: I don't even love that they're trying.
Speaker 7: This.
Speaker 1: To me, when we were talking about this, I was like,
Speaker 1: this is like sticking a band aid on open heart surgery.
Speaker 1: This to me screams of a platform who knows that
Speaker 1: there's a problem. They know that they have created on thee. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And the thing is is the way that the content
Speaker 1: is on TikTok. It's designed for us to never end scroll.
Speaker 1: It's so short. It absolutely just fires those DOPA means
Speaker 1: and you just want to keep on going. You're like, well,
Speaker 1: what's next, what's next? What's next? So like paying a
Speaker 1: poker machine for an adult, let alone for an eighteen
Speaker 1: year old or someone younger. So saying okay, well, at
Speaker 1: ten o'clock we're going to do a two minute breathing meditation.
Speaker 1: The kids are going to flick past it and continue on.
Speaker 1: It's not going to deter anyone. It's just a bit
Speaker 1: of pr flaff that TikTok is able to say that
Speaker 1: they're doing something, which makes it sound like it's better
Speaker 1: than doing nothing.
Speaker 2: You know, well, adult can do it as well, but
Speaker 2: oh thank goodness, it's.
Speaker 4: Not forced upon adults. That is like an opt in.
Speaker 4: You can opt in to have the meditation prompt.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean I do this. There's a thing. It's
Speaker 1: called revenge bedtime procrastination. Right, So when you get to
Speaker 1: the end of your day, you're tired, you know you
Speaker 1: should go to sleep. It's probably the best thing for you.
Speaker 1: All the research is there.
Speaker 2: But the engine need you. They need you.
Speaker 1: I need to look at the hobby horse and goddamn it.
Speaker 1: And then you just lay there in bed on your
Speaker 1: phone looking through and you've gone forty minutes, forty five
Speaker 1: minutes all time that could have been dedicated to sleep.
Speaker 1: But it's kind of feeling like you're coloring back some
Speaker 1: really unproductive me time I do this, and I'm thirty
Speaker 1: nine year old woman, how do you think like young
Speaker 1: eighteen year olds, seventeen year old sixteen year olds are
Speaker 1: on the platform even remotely stand a chance for this.
Speaker 4: I mean, I guess we can't. I mean we can,
Speaker 4: but we can't knock them for trying. At least they're
Speaker 4: doing it. It's better than not putting anything on. They're
Speaker 4: never going to can TikTok, They're never going to put
Speaker 4: it down the gurgle completely, So I guess the next
Speaker 4: best thing. And do you know what, there is scientific
Speaker 4: proof of how good meditation is on the white matter
Speaker 4: in your brain. It actually makes a difference totally.
Speaker 1: But my thing is is if it's easy to just
Speaker 1: scroll past it, like if you have a full screen meditation,
Speaker 1: that's just another real Like it's just another story. So
Speaker 1: you can easily swipe past unless it locks your screen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think, and you can't and you can't do anything else.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: It's like when you accidentally put the wrong passcode into
Speaker 1: your phone and it like locks it for a couple
Speaker 1: of minutes or five minutes or whatever. Like that really
Speaker 1: kind of would make a bit of a difference because
Speaker 1: it would block someone out, but that's not what it's doing.
Speaker 1: So I think it's Yeah, it's like a peanut pool
Speaker 1: makes no difference anyway, that does make a difference.
Speaker 2: Who are what is wrong with you? People?
Speaker 4: Don't you got a problem with a Brittany Nope, don't
Speaker 4: go swimming in public pool with Laura Ben That's that's
Speaker 4: the messaging of today
Speaker 1: Actually more so not with my children.