WEBVTT - The Perfect Rejection Text  💬  😘

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<v Speaker 1>On Flex and Firms Flex and Firmes. This is the

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<v Speaker 1>Flex and Frooms catch up podcast. Hello Loveline. It will

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<v Speaker 1>come a time in your life when you need to

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<v Speaker 1>learn how to reject somebody politely. How do you reject

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<v Speaker 1>someone that you appreciate, that you care for, that you respect,

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<v Speaker 1>that you're just not interested in. Be it in a job,

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<v Speaker 1>in a relationship, in a friendship. We all need to

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<v Speaker 1>do it. It's an important skill to learn. We had

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<v Speaker 1>a listener, DMUs Nicky, please play the tape.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey, lovely ladies. I've been going on some first dates

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm in need of a polite, but upfront way

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<v Speaker 2>to decline a second date. I know that the easy

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<v Speaker 2>way out is to say I'm really busy at the

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<v Speaker 2>moment or something like that, but I feel like this

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<v Speaker 2>can have the effect of blurring the lines. I know

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<v Speaker 2>that I appreciate and often need someone to be honest

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<v Speaker 2>with me in order to not get the wrong idea.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'd like a way to do that myself.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, folks, I'll kick it off with my personal thoughts.

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<v Speaker 1>I think you need to be very clear because the

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<v Speaker 1>busy thing. I don't mind that, because I think you

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<v Speaker 1>have to like judge, is this person like easily offended,

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<v Speaker 1>they already have a low self esteem. You can usually

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<v Speaker 1>probably gather out on the first date. If they do,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd say spare their feelings. But if there's someone who

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<v Speaker 1>you think as well, goes on a lot of dates

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<v Speaker 1>and can maybe copy it, I would say, hey, no,

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<v Speaker 1>what guys, I don't know, like because we always say

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<v Speaker 1>FLEXI is it better to be honest and hurt someone's

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<v Speaker 1>feelings or just spare them? Like? Do people actually care

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<v Speaker 1>for honesty? What is a good way? Mikita be like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just not interested.

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<v Speaker 3>I think it's good to be upfront, but I can't

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<v Speaker 3>say I've ever done it. Yeah, so I think that's

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<v Speaker 3>my Like, I think it would be nice to be like, hey,

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<v Speaker 3>I really appreciate your time the other night, But I

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<v Speaker 3>think this isn't really I'm not really interested.

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<v Speaker 1>No, no, maybe okay, if I do someone right now,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd be like it was really Oh it all sounds

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<v Speaker 1>so pr HR vibes.

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<v Speaker 4>Say, because it is PRHR, you're trying to find a

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<v Speaker 4>way to like contextualize something that's just a vibe, Like

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<v Speaker 4>you didn't vibe it, that's what it really is. But

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<v Speaker 4>it doesn't sound fair because for the most part, we

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<v Speaker 4>say vibes aren't real, and you need to give someone

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<v Speaker 4>a good reason, and there is no good reason, and

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<v Speaker 4>all the reasons that are good aren't fair to share

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<v Speaker 4>in order to tractive as I thought you were. The

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<v Speaker 4>conversation wasn't bumping like I thought it would. This was

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<v Speaker 4>just an ego boost. And I don't actually want to

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<v Speaker 4>go on a second day. I didn't want to go

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<v Speaker 4>on the first one, you know what I mean, Like

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<v Speaker 4>these people aren't necessary and I we have to really

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<v Speaker 4>interrogate a whole thing of like I want to tell

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<v Speaker 4>the truth, but I don't want to be mean. You've

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<v Speaker 4>clocked yourself. You don't want to tell the truth, then,

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<v Speaker 4>like you already clocked. So if you don't want to

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<v Speaker 4>be mean, then spare people, because like Fremi said, it's

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<v Speaker 4>like it's really hard to bounce back, and you don't

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<v Speaker 4>know if you're the straw that broke the camel back

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<v Speaker 4>in this instance, or you're the thing this person needed

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<v Speaker 4>to hear. But I am I do question how much

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<v Speaker 4>responsibility we give ourselves in these moments, like do you

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<v Speaker 4>really need to be the one to tell this person

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<v Speaker 4>that they're not a good conversationalist, I don't think.

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<v Speaker 1>So what about if their breath smelt again?

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<v Speaker 4>Like I think in this instance people do other people

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<v Speaker 4>at disservice where they think they are sparing them. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>and so like you become you become the villain that

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<v Speaker 4>you're afraid of being by not just taking the l

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<v Speaker 4>with this small thing, so like you can't really have

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<v Speaker 4>it all, Like I want to be polite, but I

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<v Speaker 4>don't want to be mean, but I want to tell

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<v Speaker 4>the truth, but I want to have their feelings. But babes,

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<v Speaker 4>why do you think we've gotten to a point where

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<v Speaker 4>people are soft ghosting or lying because it's taking the.

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<v Speaker 1>L main take the loss? Oh I think me the

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<v Speaker 1>L train New York or oh okay, Nikki, what do

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<v Speaker 1>you think of that? Uh?

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<v Speaker 3>I actually received a really good rejection text once, But

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<v Speaker 3>it was like I was, we've been army and iring

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<v Speaker 3>and planning a date, and like we weren't. We just

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<v Speaker 3>kept missing each other and I think, like we've been

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<v Speaker 3>texting for like I reckon like two three weeks and

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<v Speaker 3>it got to a point and I was just like

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<v Speaker 3>I need to go on this date or like we're

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<v Speaker 3>canning this and I was like, hey, like, if you're

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<v Speaker 3>free this weekend, i'd love to catch up, let me know.

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<v Speaker 3>And then I waited. I waited, and he sends to

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<v Speaker 3>me text and he goes, hey, Mkayla, I've got to

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<v Speaker 3>be honest with you right now. I've just started seeing

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<v Speaker 3>my friend and things are going really well and I'm

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<v Speaker 3>just not in a place to date.

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<v Speaker 4>But that's not a rejection text. That's a valid explanation.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and I'm honest, but I think I was struck

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<v Speaker 3>by the honesty. Like I remember just being like this

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<v Speaker 3>man owes me nothing. But ever since then, like we

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<v Speaker 3>still follow each other on Instagram, like he likes, like,

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<v Speaker 3>we're very like, it's cute. We've got a very amicable

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<v Speaker 3>internet relationship.

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<v Speaker 4>Don't you think where that differs from this is in

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<v Speaker 4>this instance, like she's gonna go through the rigamarole of

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<v Speaker 4>just going on first dates to suss it out and

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<v Speaker 4>not really wanted to go on a second for no

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<v Speaker 4>good reason, Like that's a good reason not to see

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<v Speaker 4>you again. But the I don't know if a reason.

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<v Speaker 4>Good reasons are I'm already with someone, or I'm going

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<v Speaker 4>to see someone, or those feel good, those feels fair

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<v Speaker 4>and safe. But if you don't have that under the belt,

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<v Speaker 4>it's like, give me a chance.

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<v Speaker 1>Just lie then and say you've got that. That's what

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<v Speaker 1>I would do. I'd say, oh, sorry, I've actually been

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<v Speaker 1>seeing someone that's getting like a bit more serious.

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<v Speaker 4>No, because you're setting yourself up, because it's like, I

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<v Speaker 4>feel like, don't lie yourself into a storyline or a narrative,

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<v Speaker 4>because like now you're not seeing someone else, you don't

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<v Speaker 4>have someone light up, You too are dried up, and

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<v Speaker 4>they'll see you on.

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<v Speaker 3>But if.

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<v Speaker 4>But if it's just like if you really just felt

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<v Speaker 4>like there wasn't a vibe, just be like, hey, thank

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<v Speaker 4>you for the day. It was really I had a

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<v Speaker 4>really good time. But to be honest, I don't know

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<v Speaker 4>what's going on with me right now. Thought I was ready,

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<v Speaker 4>don't really feel like I am. Best of luck to

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<v Speaker 4>you and phrase in a way that you feel is polite,

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<v Speaker 4>but it takes the onus off you having to like

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<v Speaker 4>maintain if they happen to see you get in an

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<v Speaker 4>app oh, I guess she's ready right now. If they

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<v Speaker 4>spin back, just don't accept the match again. Okay, that's

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<v Speaker 4>really nice. Yeah what you just said.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll be and paste use damn, because I.

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<v Speaker 4>Feel that's what it is a lot of the time too.

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<v Speaker 4>It's like I thought I was ready for this. I

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<v Speaker 4>don't think I am, and I don't want to do

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<v Speaker 4>test and learn with your feelings.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, damn.

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<v Speaker 3>You've been listening to The Flex and Froom's daily podcast.

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