WEBVTT - "You're So Talented... But You've Fallen Off" 🫢 0:00:01.600 --> 0:00:03.440 Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. 0:00:03.640 --> 0:00:06.039 This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast. 0:00:08.119 --> 0:00:10.960 I found myself the other day at South Found Sandwiches 0:00:11.119 --> 0:00:14.160 in Darling Hursts, my favorite sandwich shop. 0:00:14.160 --> 0:00:16.120 Yours too. Shout out to Giordana. 0:00:16.280 --> 0:00:18.280 You're an early adopter, though you've been on it for years. 0:00:18.360 --> 0:00:22.119 What can I say? Probably twenty eighteen I started there. Now. 0:00:22.840 --> 0:00:24.800 I was sitting with a friend. My friend is a musician. 0:00:25.000 --> 0:00:26.880 Do they know you're about to dock them? Yeah, I 0:00:26.920 --> 0:00:29.080 asked them, because I know you would like this one flexing. 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:31.760 And she was telling me about how the other day 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:35.080 an old producer of hers called her up. 0:00:35.920 --> 0:00:37.960 He was on he was having a really good time. 0:00:38.159 --> 0:00:40.920 He was out that night right, so called her facetimed her, 0:00:41.840 --> 0:00:44.920 was like, you are the most talented person I ever 0:00:44.960 --> 0:00:45.360 worked with. 0:00:45.440 --> 0:00:46.640 You're a genius. 0:00:47.720 --> 0:00:50.000 You know it kind of befuddles me why you aren't bigger, 0:00:50.520 --> 0:00:53.800 Like you need to work harder, you need to do this. 0:00:53.960 --> 0:00:56.560 I know what you're capable of. And my friend was saying, like, 0:00:56.680 --> 0:00:58.160 while it was really nice to hear that because she 0:00:58.200 --> 0:01:00.720 really obviously respects this producer and they're big deal, like 0:01:00.800 --> 0:01:03.240 they know what talent is. She kind of felt it 0:01:03.280 --> 0:01:05.319 made her feel bad, like, oh my god, why aren't 0:01:05.319 --> 0:01:08.360 I doing more? Like, you know, she's someone who's like 0:01:08.400 --> 0:01:10.959 really good at doing what she feels right for her, 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:14.480 Like she's not someone who's going to follow a like 0:01:14.560 --> 0:01:19.400 a certain route that will like guarantee success, right, and 0:01:19.440 --> 0:01:21.400 she that's kind of like she feels bad about that, 0:01:21.480 --> 0:01:23.120 Like damn if only I, you know, like played the 0:01:23.120 --> 0:01:24.399 TikTok game and did all this. 0:01:24.360 --> 0:01:25.800 Then I'd be where I want to be. But she 0:01:25.840 --> 0:01:26.600 doesn't want to do it. 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:28.600 We got talking about it, and I was like, well, 0:01:28.600 --> 0:01:31.640 would you rather everyone kind of like let's do a hypothetical. 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:33.360 Let's say you end up getting what you want, you're 0:01:33.360 --> 0:01:34.480 as successful as you want to be. 0:01:34.680 --> 0:01:35.280 Would you have. 0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:38.480 Rathered everyone think you're a genius from the start, or 0:01:38.480 --> 0:01:39.959 would you rather an underdog story? 0:01:40.480 --> 0:01:40.680 Oh? 0:01:40.720 --> 0:01:42.360 Like she was so average. We had no idea she 0:01:42.400 --> 0:01:42.840 could make it. 0:01:42.920 --> 0:01:47.559 Now look at her, Yeah, wow, what do you reckon? 0:01:47.880 --> 0:01:49.040 I mean, it goes either way. 0:01:49.480 --> 0:01:52.320 As I was hearing you recall or recount this story, 0:01:52.360 --> 0:01:55.200 I was like, it sounds like misplaced frustration to me, 0:01:55.760 --> 0:01:58.600 because it's I think being part of this like faux 0:01:58.640 --> 0:02:01.840 self aware generation. Because we can explain it. We feel 0:02:02.040 --> 0:02:04.080 soothed by that reality. So it's like I want to 0:02:04.120 --> 0:02:07.040 do things differently. This is the consequence, you know. So 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:10.000 when someone who has worked with other people who are 0:02:10.000 --> 0:02:11.560 doing the thing that you want to do in a 0:02:11.600 --> 0:02:13.800 way that you should be able to do it, but 0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:15.960 you don't want to do it that way, like, of 0:02:15.960 --> 0:02:18.680 course it feels bad, but now you know because imagine 0:02:18.680 --> 0:02:20.600 the alternative. Right, Let's say that I really want I'm 0:02:20.639 --> 0:02:24.359 an amazing visionary singer, Like I've got an amazing voice, 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:27.040 an amazing style, i can do any genre. 0:02:27.120 --> 0:02:28.040 It's effortless to me. 0:02:29.080 --> 0:02:31.520 And I work with a bunch of other singers and 0:02:31.720 --> 0:02:33.760 you know, their voices are subpa they can't hit notes, 0:02:34.040 --> 0:02:36.359 but they're just really good at brand building. They're really 0:02:36.360 --> 0:02:38.639 good at social media, and not even really good. They 0:02:38.720 --> 0:02:41.240 just like work with enough people who are essentially putting 0:02:41.240 --> 0:02:43.120 them in a very specific mold, and they're just like 0:02:43.200 --> 0:02:46.119 being a puppeteer. You, I might feel like I don't 0:02:46.120 --> 0:02:47.600 want to do it that way, Like I want to 0:02:47.639 --> 0:02:50.560 be the Andy Warhol of my generation. I want to 0:02:50.560 --> 0:02:53.840 be the person who's so far left to such an 0:02:53.880 --> 0:02:56.880 outlier that you can't help but look and stare and 0:02:57.919 --> 0:03:00.280 recognize that I'm incredible. It's like, yeah, it's like a 0:03:00.320 --> 0:03:02.080 one and all, one and a billion. 0:03:02.400 --> 0:03:03.000 Thing to do. 0:03:03.600 --> 0:03:06.200 So like that in itself has its own set of complications. 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:09.440 But I feel like sometimes when you are really exceptional, 0:03:09.480 --> 0:03:12.880 it's hard to recognize. It's like you're not exceptional enough 0:03:12.919 --> 0:03:16.160 to like outsmart the system that was made in such 0:03:16.160 --> 0:03:20.360 a specific way for this reason. So when so, because 0:03:20.360 --> 0:03:22.560 what's the consequence, Like having a bunch of amazing people 0:03:22.560 --> 0:03:23.959 who we never get to hear because they want to 0:03:24.000 --> 0:03:24.760 do things their way. 0:03:25.120 --> 0:03:26.240 It's like, no, we all tried that. 0:03:27.160 --> 0:03:29.040 Where we got to in the conversation, she was like, 0:03:29.400 --> 0:03:31.920 I would hate to do something that doesn't feel authentic 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:32.960 and then not get. 0:03:32.800 --> 0:03:33.239 What I want. 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:34.839 She was like, let's say then I play the game, 0:03:34.840 --> 0:03:36.200 but I still don't get what I want. Now I've 0:03:36.200 --> 0:03:39.800 lost my you know, I wasn't even being true to myself. 0:03:40.080 --> 0:03:42.360 So it's a very difficult bond that she finds herself. 0:03:43.360 --> 0:03:45.240 And it's a good question, like do you want what 0:03:45.280 --> 0:03:47.920 you want or do you want to feel good? Because 0:03:47.960 --> 0:03:49.640 I often feel like you can't do both in the 0:03:49.680 --> 0:03:52.480 same way, like you. I mean, some people can, and 0:03:52.680 --> 0:03:55.120 they do, but for everybody else. For all of us, 0:03:55.160 --> 0:03:57.080 it's like, yes, you can have what you want in 0:03:57.120 --> 0:03:58.880 exactly the way you want it, but you don't make 0:03:58.920 --> 0:04:02.000 any room for the consequence of that. And that's what 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:04.880 my therapist told me. He's like, you're so rational and 0:04:04.960 --> 0:04:06.960 logical and so naive at the same time. And I 0:04:06.960 --> 0:04:09.360 was like, what do you mean so, and he's like, 0:04:09.680 --> 0:04:14.280 you have You've done this really amazing thing where you've 0:04:14.320 --> 0:04:17.720 cultivated a life that matches your desires. Yeah, so it's 0:04:17.720 --> 0:04:19.880 given you this illusion of control that you don't have. 0:04:20.360 --> 0:04:24.200 You've cultivated control in certain areas, but generally you don't 0:04:24.240 --> 0:04:26.720 have control. I don't have control. We don't have control. 0:04:27.360 --> 0:04:31.440 And what happens is when you start to when you're 0:04:31.480 --> 0:04:34.880 able to curate things in your vision, you don't take 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:37.440 into consideration that there would be a bunch of things 0:04:37.440 --> 0:04:39.720 that you can't curate in your vision. You don't want 0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:42.440 to be accountable for that reality. So, for example, this 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:45.159 idea of like, well, I would prefer to be authentic 0:04:46.920 --> 0:04:48.719 and get what I want, it's like, maybe in this 0:04:48.760 --> 0:04:51.320 reality you can't do that. So what you're preferring is 0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:53.159 the feeling of failure from not getting what you want 0:04:53.200 --> 0:04:55.760 and the story you tell yourself around why you feel 0:04:55.760 --> 0:04:59.520 comfortable with that. And I was like, whoa sir, so sorry, sorry, 0:04:59.680 --> 0:05:04.320 back up, and he was just like, there are a 0:05:04.320 --> 0:05:06.440 lot of the things that all of us will experience. 0:05:06.720 --> 0:05:09.719 It's just biproducts are being alive byproducts are being a human. 0:05:09.920 --> 0:05:14.080 Biproducts are being women, byproducts of living in a patriarchal society, 0:05:14.120 --> 0:05:16.359 by products of living in a capitalist society. This is 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:18.880 just the reality of the situation. And what we do 0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:21.400 with this information is we often feel like we're the 0:05:21.440 --> 0:05:24.960 exception to the way that things are, or that we 0:05:25.080 --> 0:05:27.440 have the power to overcome because we are told a 0:05:27.480 --> 0:05:30.240 lot of stories about overcoming trials and tribulations, from fairy 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:33.880 tales to old folks tales to how people motivate you 0:05:33.920 --> 0:05:36.280 when you're younger, Like you can be the exception. You know, 0:05:36.320 --> 0:05:38.520 I knew a guide he was so dumb, but look 0:05:39.040 --> 0:05:41.159 look at how he turned out. Or like I knew 0:05:41.200 --> 0:05:42.840 a girl she was so unfit, but she wanted to 0:05:42.839 --> 0:05:45.719 be a bodybuilder. People like instill this idea into you 0:05:45.800 --> 0:05:49.359 that you can overcome the most abnormal situations, and so 0:05:49.400 --> 0:05:52.680 when it comes to doing things as they have been 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:56.279 done for a millennia. You feel like you're above that 0:05:56.440 --> 0:05:58.880 because I've heard plenty of stories that would affirm that 0:05:58.920 --> 0:05:59.920 I could do it differently. 0:06:00.320 --> 0:06:02.280 And it's true, you can do it differently. But then 0:06:02.279 --> 0:06:02.880 what we don't. 0:06:02.720 --> 0:06:08.160 Prepare ourselves for is almost like the number of implications 0:06:08.200 --> 0:06:11.080 are doing things differently. So, for example, if you're someone 0:06:11.120 --> 0:06:14.200 who wants to do something exceptional, objectively exceptional, so be 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:16.800 a creative for a living that's an exceptional thing. Be 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:19.560 a doctor that's exceptional, go off the grit, it's exceptional. 0:06:20.320 --> 0:06:25.120 You must prepare yourself for exceptional failures. Yep, exceptional hardships. 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:26.960 People don't do that. They're cand like, wait, why can't 0:06:27.000 --> 0:06:29.440 I just do both? You are doing both? Wait, I 0:06:29.480 --> 0:06:32.760 have to do GST you literally, I can't I just 0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:35.359 own a business and not have to fire anyone. 0:06:35.480 --> 0:06:39.400 It's like, well, you could try it, see how you go. 0:06:40.680 --> 0:06:42.520 So it's interesting when you talk about this friendom like 0:06:42.560 --> 0:06:45.800 I get it, Like I totally understand this, this juggling 0:06:45.839 --> 0:06:48.000 these two opposing ideas, like I could do it this 0:06:48.080 --> 0:06:50.480 way and it could work out, but I could be unhappy. 0:06:50.600 --> 0:06:52.040 Or I could do it this way but it might 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:54.359 not work out. But then I could be happy. It's like, 0:06:54.360 --> 0:06:55.839 but the only way that you know is if you 0:06:55.960 --> 0:06:56.320 do it. 0:06:56.920 --> 0:06:59.279 I choose the option where you're not doing the like 0:07:00.480 --> 0:07:04.400 trend thing, but maybe you fail. Yeah, because I think 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:06.680 especially this person's like in the creative industry, I think, 0:07:06.720 --> 0:07:12.240 like you, something that I think you need to be 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:15.440 conscious of is like, let's say you do go down 0:07:15.440 --> 0:07:17.360 the path of doing like I think with a lot 0:07:17.400 --> 0:07:20.640 of creative industries, like in what we do, something that's 0:07:20.720 --> 0:07:24.360 really important, which I feel like I would find hard, 0:07:24.480 --> 0:07:28.000 especially when I worked at Pedestrian, is like the way 0:07:28.040 --> 0:07:30.200 to grow an audience is to keep doing the same 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:32.880 thing again and again and again, like people really want 0:07:32.880 --> 0:07:34.680 to know, Oh, you're gonna get this thing on Tuesday, 0:07:34.720 --> 0:07:38.960 like podcasting everything, the number one thing is to be consistent. 0:07:39.000 --> 0:07:40.200 Like you don't even have to really be. 0:07:40.200 --> 0:07:42.360 Like good tvh you just have to do it because 0:07:42.360 --> 0:07:45.800 there's really Australia's industry is so small. If you just 0:07:45.840 --> 0:07:48.360 get up and like post something every single day, you 0:07:48.400 --> 0:07:52.080 will find an audience. But I used to be like, 0:07:52.080 --> 0:07:54.200 oh I did want a video like this, and you know, 0:07:54.240 --> 0:07:55.640 someone to be like can you do another one like that? 0:07:55.680 --> 0:07:57.880 I'm like I actually can't king like. 0:07:57.880 --> 0:08:00.440 I don't know if you know how creativity works. People 0:08:00.440 --> 0:08:01.400 don't all my processes. 0:08:02.880 --> 0:08:04.840 They're like, you're getting paid, so you're gonna have it. 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:07.720 No, I can't walk to another Bunnings and talking about conspation. No, 0:08:07.800 --> 0:08:09.600 I can't do that. Thank you. That was the one 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:12.080 and done. It was the Becasa of my generation. 0:08:12.040 --> 0:08:13.840 Literally never before seen. 0:08:14.400 --> 0:08:16.400 So I get the vibe that, like, you don't want 0:08:16.440 --> 0:08:18.080 to have to do it a cookie cut away. 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:21.240 And yeah, I can't help you with. 0:08:21.200 --> 0:08:24.080 That because I But it's also interesting, like knowing that 0:08:24.560 --> 0:08:26.400 and actually knowing that. 0:08:27.040 --> 0:08:27.240 Yeah. 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:29.120 So it's like knowing it is being able to say 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:31.840 it but then have it be affirmed by people around you, 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:33.199 Like imagine if someone. 0:08:32.960 --> 0:08:35.000 Said to you to your face with love. 0:08:35.280 --> 0:08:38.000 It's like you should be at a different position, like 0:08:38.040 --> 0:08:40.520 you were so much more talented. You're falling off in 0:08:40.640 --> 0:08:43.920 record times. It's freaking me out, it's freaking the girls out. 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:46.400 You need to do better, and it's like you just 0:08:46.679 --> 0:08:48.800 like you'd be like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Look I 0:08:48.840 --> 0:08:50.400 wasn't ready to hear it. But it's like you knew, 0:08:51.760 --> 0:08:55.679 you already knew. It's interesting. Let's go hit differently. 0:08:56.200 --> 0:08:58.280 It would, but this is why we always go back to. 0:08:58.440 --> 0:09:00.920 You know, when we seek feedback advice, Do we actually 0:09:00.920 --> 0:09:03.520 really want it or are we just light gassing? 0:09:03.600 --> 0:09:04.720 Do we want a mental advice? 0:09:09.400 --> 0:09:14.280 She wasn't unhappy before that mental call. You've been listening 0:09:14.280 --> 0:09:16.160 to The Flex and Froom's daily podcast. 0:09:16.400 --> 0:09:20.040 For more, Tune Indicator on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.