WEBVTT - MINI: Parenting Advice

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<v Speaker 1>I Heart Podcasts. You can hear more gold one I

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<v Speaker 2>Got anything good?

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<v Speaker 3>Hey, this is.

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<v Speaker 1>The Christian O'Connell show podcast more didn't you calebre moning? Christian?

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<v Speaker 1>My name's Caleb. I mean listen to you guys for

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<v Speaker 1>five years now. My partner and I are seven weeks

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<v Speaker 1>seven months pregnant. And when you say your partner in you,

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<v Speaker 1>let's be honest, she's pregnant. There is no wei. She's

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<v Speaker 1>doing a bit of the heavy lin. Not unless we

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<v Speaker 1>need to contact all news agencies around the world in

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<v Speaker 1>some new miracle way. But your partner is pregnant. You

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<v Speaker 1>are We are, as guys a bystander. You are not pregnant.

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<v Speaker 1>She is pregnant. And I wanted to message you and

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<v Speaker 1>thank you for the show you do every day. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>thank you very much, and also to ask your advice

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<v Speaker 1>about being a good dad. I think you've been listening

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<v Speaker 1>for five years you'll have picked it up on not

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<v Speaker 1>so much which the good that the stories. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>have any about having a good dad. It's the shabby dad.

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<v Speaker 1>And then you can whatever the opposite is of what

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<v Speaker 1>I did. There's your advice.

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<v Speaker 3>You've got cautionary tales.

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<v Speaker 1>Cautionary tales, I am but a causery tale. I can

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<v Speaker 1>summon up in three and and Patsy can do hers

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<v Speaker 1>as well. As a great month for me, and I

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<v Speaker 1>used to read a lot of the books as well.

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<v Speaker 1>I think the most important things I can sum up

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<v Speaker 1>in three very easy points. One that the thing that

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<v Speaker 1>normally talks about about being a parent is your whole

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<v Speaker 1>job is to enjoy being a parent. A lot of it.

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<v Speaker 1>They turn it into an ordeal and you've got to

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<v Speaker 1>worry about this, and it becomes so stressful. If you

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<v Speaker 1>can keep reminding yourself, even at the tough times when

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<v Speaker 1>you're exhaust and overwhelmed by all, your job is to

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<v Speaker 1>enjoy it. It is the greatest privilege in life is

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<v Speaker 1>to be someone's parents. So the job is to enjoy

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<v Speaker 1>them always, always always, always, always always always keep them

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<v Speaker 1>talking the moment those channels of communication start to get

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<v Speaker 1>shut down, don't hang on to being who's right and

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<v Speaker 1>who's wrong. That is a life of misery. The most

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<v Speaker 1>important thing is to keep them always talking, especially during

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<v Speaker 1>the teenagers as well. Tough tougher than ever to be

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<v Speaker 1>a teenager right now in these crazy times. Keep them talking.

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<v Speaker 1>And the other thing is, never Caleb, never ever stopped

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<v Speaker 1>working on your own bs. They see it all. You're

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<v Speaker 1>always teaching your kids a lesson, and they're not always

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<v Speaker 1>good lessons. How you are with your anger, your joy,

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<v Speaker 1>your dreams of frustration. They are watching all of it.

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<v Speaker 1>So always be working on your own inner stuff. Otherwise

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<v Speaker 1>you pass it on to them. Work on your own stuff,

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<v Speaker 1>or you're just going to pass it on to them.

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<v Speaker 1>The best use of stuff you can do is to

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<v Speaker 1>keep working on your own inner stuff, because I'm telling

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<v Speaker 1>you now, they are mirror. They see all of it.

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<v Speaker 1>My daughters now have tracked me quicker than my own wife.

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<v Speaker 1>They know when I'm lying quicker than I do. I

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<v Speaker 1>remember when the ratings went down to third last year

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<v Speaker 1>and I was trying to tell them. They were like,

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<v Speaker 1>oh my god, are you gonna get sacked?

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<v Speaker 3>Are we going to be homeless? Are you going to

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<v Speaker 3>a bit of pain against you? Universal's like a press conference.

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<v Speaker 3>I was getting any stressed. I was going, it doesn't matter,

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<v Speaker 3>and they were going, we don't believe you. There's no

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<v Speaker 3>way you don't think it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

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<v Speaker 3>And then my way of fact, Chris, can we have

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<v Speaker 3>a word. You're trying to tell them that you're okay

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<v Speaker 3>with this? Yeah, okay, to go back out, Patsy, Well,

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<v Speaker 3>but how would you summon up?

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<v Speaker 2>I've just got to say, you just talking like that

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<v Speaker 2>is so inspiration for me as a mom, with you know,

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<v Speaker 2>keeping the communication lines open. That's so true that my.

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<v Speaker 1>Mums have to work so much harder now can be.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not trying to be fake, honest. My wife works

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<v Speaker 1>far harder as a parent than I do, and I

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<v Speaker 1>think even Chris, your husband would agree with that as well. Mums, no, no, no,

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<v Speaker 1>mums are the sense of the whole thing.

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<v Speaker 2>I think initially definitely, But what I would say to

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<v Speaker 2>our listener is particularly within you.

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<v Speaker 1>Please call them Caleb Rother.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you, Sorry I forgot Caleb's name. Congratulations.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't know who I am right now. She's a mom.

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<v Speaker 2>Love to think about instinct. Follow your instinct. You have

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<v Speaker 2>this newborn. There's no guide book. You don't know what

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<v Speaker 2>the hell you're doing. Your boobs are leaking. Everything's happening.

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<v Speaker 2>You're not sleeping.

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<v Speaker 1>Caleb's boobs are leaking. Go see a doctor. Go to

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<v Speaker 1>go to chemists warehouse. They've got patches.

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<v Speaker 2>Follow your instinct and you do know what to do.

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<v Speaker 2>I can remember with Audrey, she was crying. I had

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<v Speaker 2>she was a colligy baby, she was six weeks prem

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<v Speaker 2>It was all happening. It was five years in the making,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, infertility, and I finally had this baby, and

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<v Speaker 2>I felt like I'd had this massive, big run up

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<v Speaker 2>to being a mum and suddenly I remember one day

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<v Speaker 2>I really didn't feel like I knew what I was doing,

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<v Speaker 2>and my mother came up to help, just to release

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<v Speaker 2>so I could go and have a shower, and she said,

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<v Speaker 2>just keep calm. You do know what you're doing. Follow

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<v Speaker 2>your instinct. But Mom, I don't have an instinct, and

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<v Speaker 2>she said, you do, it's inside of you. And you

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<v Speaker 2>know what, don't listen to what anyone else for your mum,

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<v Speaker 2>hand generation to you, angel, angel, and don't listen to

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<v Speaker 2>what what might work for someone else doesn't necessarily work

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<v Speaker 2>for you. And the other thing, the third and last

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<v Speaker 2>thing I would say. A maternal nurse said to me,

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<v Speaker 2>I'd picked Audrey up and she said, I'll be careful

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<v Speaker 2>with that. Don't nurse her too much. So you know,

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<v Speaker 2>it's all, don't do this, don't do this, you should

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<v Speaker 2>be doing that. I wish I hadn't have listened to that,

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<v Speaker 2>because now, even though she's nearly fifteen, I would give

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<v Speaker 2>my left leg to be able to just pick her

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<v Speaker 2>up in my arms and give her a cuddle and

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<v Speaker 2>sniff right into a little head. And you know, you're

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<v Speaker 2>just so conscious of everyone says don't pick them up.

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<v Speaker 2>Then you'll have to nurse them all the time. To

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<v Speaker 2>hell with that. Do whatever you want, do what's right

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<v Speaker 2>for you, and you'll be a perfect parent. Enjoy it.

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<v Speaker 2>It goes so fast, beautiful stuff.

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<v Speaker 3>Christian O'Connell Shark go On podcast