Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex
Speaker 1: and Frooms catch Up podcast.
Speaker 2: Yes, I know you're thinking, why do you guys sound
Speaker 2: sexy today? We both have come down with it mess.
Speaker 1: I mean, I haven't heard the tapes yet. Does it
Speaker 1: sound Mickey, I think it sounds sexy.
Speaker 2: It's giving Scarlett yohannesson.
Speaker 1: Well, someone out there is going to say, oh, girls
Speaker 1: sounding sexy this week.
Speaker 3: I just know it.
Speaker 2: Just wait for three people the other say this is
Speaker 2: great in listening. I'm sick of this nah positivity only.
Speaker 2: I want to come to everybody with a bit of
Speaker 2: an investigation. I would say that I have an investigative
Speaker 2: journalism streak in my blood. Yes, I did work as
Speaker 2: an online journalist.
Speaker 1: For quite a few years.
Speaker 2: Half of it was ripping stories off the ABC.
Speaker 1: But I digress and she'd do it again, and I said,
Speaker 1: let's go back.
Speaker 2: No. So Micky, our producer, came to me with this
Speaker 2: idea that I had actually been thinking about the previous week,
Speaker 2: because we are the same person. Micky said, I've had
Speaker 2: this discussion before with my friends and it got brought
Speaker 2: up again and I'd like your thoughts. Let's say you're
Speaker 2: on a date, things are going well, the date is
Speaker 2: coming to a close. Your date gives you a loving
Speaker 2: look and then says can I give you a kiss?
Speaker 2: Initial thoughts flex will leave it?
Speaker 3: Is this?
Speaker 1: Sorry? Is this icky?
Speaker 2: Lol? All my friends think so, but me, as an
Speaker 2: anxious girl, it's never really worried me. To be honest,
Speaker 2: I've always said yeah and then oh, use the spanner
Speaker 2: to be honest. I've always said yes, even though I
Speaker 2: don't want to kiss.
Speaker 3: Lol.
Speaker 2: Problematic within itself.
Speaker 3: Loll a double lol, the double lot self awareness work.
Speaker 3: That's self awareness.
Speaker 1: What's it called?
Speaker 2: Like self awareness?
Speaker 1: But you don't do anything with it? Self awareness? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the basic strain.
Speaker 2: I mean, everything depends if you like someone. It's like
Speaker 2: if someone comes in real red hot. If they're hot
Speaker 2: and you're attractive to them, nothing is too red hot.
Speaker 2: I think if you need to ask can I kiss you?
Speaker 2: Half of the time it's because you're socially anxious, and
Speaker 2: this is where I'm like.
Speaker 1: I love when you start doing math. Yeah.
Speaker 2: The other thirty percent of the time is when a
Speaker 2: guy is trying to be smooth and he knows that
Speaker 2: you're going to pick up on like can I do this?
Speaker 2: Like consent core.
Speaker 1: Or the other twenty percent.
Speaker 2: Last twenty is like a guy knows that you don't
Speaker 2: want to kiss, but he can't help himself.
Speaker 3: That should account for more than you think. We're not
Speaker 3: going to assume consent or whatever. But generally when the
Speaker 3: can I kiss you is coming out, it means you've assessed,
Speaker 3: you've done all the body language cues.
Speaker 1: He said, yes.
Speaker 2: Verbal verbiage only accounts of seven percent of communication, but
Speaker 2: I need that.
Speaker 3: You assess the body language not really eating the verbal
Speaker 3: communication is not really giving an impressions. She wants to
Speaker 3: kiss me, you thought, let me just ask, because you
Speaker 3: know what women can't do, what can't they do make
Speaker 3: themselves comfortable? Look, this can I give you a kiss?
Speaker 3: Has happened once in my life, and unfortunate it's happened
Speaker 3: in the last three months.
Speaker 1: I swear to you, babe.
Speaker 3: It was the most out of body experience, and from
Speaker 3: doing like our show in particular, I didn't realize I
Speaker 3: had such an expressive face.
Speaker 1: Babes.
Speaker 3: I literally think that I'm so mysterious in the face,
Speaker 3: so you could only imagine me on this date that
Speaker 3: I'm just like not vibing at all.
Speaker 1: He's like, so, where do you want to go next.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm going to head home.
Speaker 3: He's like, okay, cool, cool, Like which direction? I said, oh,
Speaker 3: oh good, Like I'm just gonna get an uber. And
Speaker 3: this is the kind of date where he kept doing
Speaker 3: all these things that would appear chivorus if I was keen.
Speaker 3: But he wasn't concerned about my comfort. He was concerned
Speaker 3: about being perceived as like an upstanding person. It's like, here,
Speaker 3: do you want my jacket? I don't want your jacket?
Speaker 3: I really don't. Gets up, puts his jacket on top
Speaker 3: of me. Now now I'm nursing your jacket. Now I've
Speaker 3: got a responsibility. Anyway, it was can I give you
Speaker 3: a kiss? And I was like, I can imagine my
Speaker 3: face would have been like huh.
Speaker 1: I'm like and I said, a kiss, just like that
Speaker 1: a kiss? And what did he say? He's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I look a smooch.
Speaker 3: A smooch.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I said, you're so crazy. Did you
Speaker 1: do it? I said you? And I said to my
Speaker 1: cheek on low please, I'm just a girl, listen.
Speaker 2: So I have skin in the game when it comes
Speaker 2: to this, because I actually perpetrated this affront to humanity.
Speaker 1: Wow, mere weeks ago?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: So fresh? Okay?
Speaker 2: So I was on a date. Yeah, I had already
Speaker 2: kissed this person before a partner.
Speaker 1: If you.
Speaker 2: So?
Speaker 1: Guys laughing again? Who are they?
Speaker 2: It was a guy and we're sitting at a bar
Speaker 2: type situation and I asked him, yeah, can I.
Speaker 1: Kiss you now? And he was why are you asking?
Speaker 2: But he was quite polite and chivalrous about it. It
Speaker 2: was kind of like, Oh, you don't have to ask
Speaker 2: me if you want to kiss me, and why were
Speaker 2: you asking?
Speaker 1: I felt very.
Speaker 2: Comfortable in that moment, but I like, I didn't know
Speaker 2: how to like lean in, and I kind of like,
Speaker 2: sometimes I like to feel like they know what I'm
Speaker 2: going to do next.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so they're not just blindsided into an intimate moment
Speaker 3: exactly exactly.
Speaker 2: I want him to know that that's I was feeling
Speaker 2: these amorous type feelings.
Speaker 1: And then we love that word.
Speaker 2: It's nice, isn't it. Then we got onto the topic
Speaker 2: of kissing generally, and he was like, would you rather
Speaker 2: we kiss and we keep our eyes open the whole time,
Speaker 2: leaning and to kiss each other, or would you rather
Speaker 2: we kiss eyes closed from a distance?
Speaker 3: Because we're talking about would you rathers okay? On account
Speaker 3: of three, everyone say their answer ready.
Speaker 1: Mickey mic on three two?
Speaker 2: Oh are you serious?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're freaky? Are you serious? Babes? I love eyes.
Speaker 2: Have you ever experienced the pain of you're going to
Speaker 2: kiss someone and you see their eyes go cross eyed?
Speaker 2: We will say you get so close? I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: dissociating naturally, this was my riz. As you know, game
Speaker 2: is a bit pecular at times.
Speaker 1: Why did we then.
Speaker 2: Have to act out ten different times? Okay? Now I
Speaker 2: try eyes closed? Okay, now one of us open eyes?
Speaker 2: Have we thought it was the best idea of I
Speaker 2: love it.
Speaker 3: It's hilarious, a little type of weird, one of mine,
Speaker 3: one of mine.
Speaker 2: So I realize it's in nick territory. It doesn't matter
Speaker 2: as long as the kiss is good. Do what the
Speaker 2: hell you want with your eyes. It is very nice
Speaker 2: to look at someone in the eye. Prolonged eye contact
Speaker 2: is vulnerability and it's sexy.
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm very opposed to eyes closed, and
Speaker 3: I'm very opposed to things that take people out of
Speaker 3: what's happening.
Speaker 1: Presently.
Speaker 3: When you close your eyes, you zone in on a
Speaker 3: sense of something, and often that sense is like it's
Speaker 3: all physical and it's nothing about the person and the experience.
Speaker 3: It's just like, ooh, nice, touchy. Open your eyes back here,
Speaker 3: pay attention. Now close them again. But back here, Now
Speaker 3: close them again. Because I can recall, especially when I
Speaker 3: was younger, let's say, when I was like twenty or something,
Speaker 3: I definitely used to use eyes closed time as like
Speaker 3: a recalibrate, recalibrate and freaking out.
Speaker 1: This is cereal. This is cereal, and.
Speaker 3: It's like, no, babes, you need to get comfortable in
Speaker 3: your environment. It's no time for hiding.
Speaker 2: When I open when I'm sleeping, as you know, that
Speaker 2: mean one eye open when I'm sleeping.
Speaker 1: You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms Daily podcast.
Speaker 3: For more, tune in Deicter on DAB or stream it
Speaker 3: on iHeartRadio.