Speaker 1: Just before we get started, we'd like to acknowledge and
Speaker 1: pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and torrest Rate islander people's.
Speaker 1: They're the traditional custodians of the lands, the waterways and
Speaker 1: the skies all across Australia. We thank you for sharing
Speaker 1: and for caring for the land on which we are
Speaker 1: able to learn. We pay respects to elders past and present,
Speaker 1: and we share our friendship and our kindness.
Speaker 2: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
Speaker 3: for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another
Speaker 3: shot back Money Diary. Monday one of my favorite days
Speaker 3: of the week because we get to chat to a
Speaker 3: gorgeous community member to learn about them, their story, their money,
Speaker 3: and all of the deats in between.
Speaker 1: Is Monday really your favorite deday of weege Yes?
Speaker 3: It's I mean, look, Monday's. It was just a nice
Speaker 3: thing to say for the worst, but it's one of
Speaker 3: my favorite Cheese on the Money episodes. Okay, that's fair. Now,
Speaker 3: before we get into today's episode, I did just want
Speaker 3: to put a little trigger warning on there. We're going
Speaker 3: to be talking about some difficult things today, including domestic violence.
Speaker 3: So if you're in a place where hearing about that
Speaker 3: makes you a little bit uncomfy, give this episode a skip.
Speaker 3: There's a whole backlog of other episodes that you can
Speaker 3: listen to, and we'll see you on Wednesday instead. All right, Jess, Well,
Speaker 3: let's hear about this week's diarist already, our direct says,
Speaker 3: I'm a single mum who lives on welfare. Three years ago,
Speaker 3: I was sitting across the table from a mortgage broker
Speaker 3: with thirty K, ready to buy an investment property. But
Speaker 3: little did I know that there was Bob President at
Speaker 3: this meeting, who I was clueless about. Within nine months,
Speaker 3: I was a parent and thirty K poorer. I had
Speaker 3: lost the lot, jobless, and stuck inside. Thanks to COVID,
Speaker 3: I turned to welfare to support myself and my daughter.
Speaker 3: After four long years in a domestic violence relationship. In
Speaker 3: twenty twenty two, I was able to walk away with
Speaker 3: eighteen K, pay off my debts, and be financial free
Speaker 3: for a while while I battled for custody of my daughter.
Speaker 3: I am grateful that I can rely on welfare for
Speaker 3: the next few years to keep us.
Speaker 1: Afloat Oh my gosh, what a story money Jost. Welcome
Speaker 1: to the show. Let's get straight into it. I would
Speaker 1: love to know. Tell us a little bit about your
Speaker 1: money story.
Speaker 4: Okay, So my money story is a bit like all
Speaker 4: over the place. So growing up, like I come from money,
Speaker 4: if that makes sense. Yeah, Like my family they're a
Speaker 4: bit by that breach. So my mom is the first
Speaker 4: person in her family to break generational poverty. Very cool again,
Speaker 4: and so was my dad but through marriage.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah. So then my sister and I we were raised
Speaker 5: to have everything we wanted.
Speaker 4: Basically, we could have five Barbie dolls and everything we
Speaker 4: wanted to eat and go over where we want. We're
Speaker 4: on fancy holidays quite often actually. But then when I
Speaker 4: had my daughter, I was on the other end of
Speaker 4: the spectrum. So we live at my parents' house and
Speaker 4: I'm like on the poorer side and then outside my
Speaker 4: bedroom doors.
Speaker 5: On the richer side. Yeah, there's a bit all over
Speaker 5: the place, I guess.
Speaker 3: Kind of like you got a foot in each world.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it's challenging because I live on a beautiful
Speaker 4: property with four egcres of land, but I can't.
Speaker 5: Buy her lots of things.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but she gets sorts of.
Speaker 5: Things like my mom gives her lots.
Speaker 1: Of things that must be really challenging for you, kind
Speaker 1: of like as just said, having a foot in each
Speaker 1: world in a way. But the next question is what
Speaker 1: do you do for work and how much money do
Speaker 1: you au? And tell us all about it.
Speaker 4: Okay, so this is where it gets a little.
Speaker 5: Bit like tricky.
Speaker 3: That's all right.
Speaker 5: So, like I said, I'm on welfare, like I've won
Speaker 5: on an link payments.
Speaker 4: So I started my journey out on a partnered income
Speaker 4: that ended I would say, maybe August September last year,
Speaker 4: that income, and and then I end up with a
Speaker 4: tax bill that was for his income, not mine. So
Speaker 4: then I had to remediate the situation by going on
Speaker 4: a single income because yeah, so I'm on a parenting
Speaker 4: pension single because I am a single parent. Now additional
Speaker 4: to that income, I work for a startup company and
Speaker 4: I worked directly for the CEO casually, So I have
Speaker 4: to split that with my pension because if I earn
Speaker 4: too much then I don't get the full pension.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that makes it.
Speaker 5: I also have eleven other streams of income.
Speaker 1: Eleven.
Speaker 3: I didn't know that many.
Speaker 1: I didn't even know, who are you, hustle lady?
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 4: So I just started a new job last week in finance,
Speaker 4: which is kind of interesting.
Speaker 1: Yes, queen, Yes, more women in finance.
Speaker 5: We love these Well we're all women.
Speaker 3: How exciting.
Speaker 5: There's only one male and he's like the tech dude.
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, that's fair. He can come. He can
Speaker 3: come because on this is nice.
Speaker 5: Yeah. So that's about twenty five thousand dollars a year.
Speaker 5: And then I do like a like a side gig
Speaker 5: where like I.
Speaker 4: Went for a Strata company where I take their bins
Speaker 4: out once a week. It's very odd that pays about
Speaker 4: two thousand dollars a year.
Speaker 1: Hey, that's kind of cool. I didn't even know that,
Speaker 1: Like that makes sense that that's a job because Strata
Speaker 1: has someone doing that. Is that super easy to do?
Speaker 1: Or how did you find that? Because I feel like
Speaker 1: there might be some people listening who are like, oh,
Speaker 1: two grand a year, i'd do that.
Speaker 3: I'll take your bins out for that.
Speaker 4: I went on Antaskar and I found this lady and
Speaker 4: she's like, can you come every week? Like it is
Speaker 4: an hour from my house, but it's ten minutes from
Speaker 4: one of my.
Speaker 5: Officers at work.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I.
Speaker 4: Was like, yeah, I'll come and so just take sixteen
Speaker 4: bins out every week, one k down the driveway each time,
Speaker 4: two in hand, Like incredible few dollars a week.
Speaker 5: That's it's my petrol.
Speaker 3: Like I didn't work out as well because you're walking
Speaker 3: up in the next every time.
Speaker 4: Yeah, my daughter loves to come and she'll like to
Speaker 4: push the bins up there.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. Free labor as well.
Speaker 1: We love to see it, get it, get working early.
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So I also get child support, So that's four dollars
Speaker 4: nine nine cents a.
Speaker 3: Day is really child Yes?
Speaker 4: Perhaps at seventeen hundred one seven hundred a year, that
Speaker 4: is craz No, I'd to put our daycare, so it
Speaker 4: didn't cover the cost of that.
Speaker 3: Can I ask for a little bit of context? Do
Speaker 3: you have your daughter full time?
Speaker 5: I do?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it blows my mind. And sorry, I know we're
Speaker 3: getting very off topic and we need to get that's
Speaker 3: a question. But it is wild to me that as
Speaker 3: a full time care who is taking on I would
Speaker 3: assume all of the financial responsibility. Spoiler lit, babies aren't cheap.
Speaker 3: They're very expensive. That the most that you can receive
Speaker 3: is five bucks a day. I can't imagine that that's
Speaker 3: going very far Like that is that's insane to me,
Speaker 3: truly blowing my mind right now. Like I knew that
Speaker 3: that was a thing, and it's one thing to understand
Speaker 3: it and see it.
Speaker 1: And you know, you see posts in our community of
Speaker 1: people who are going through so many similar things to
Speaker 1: you money dis I keep wanting to use people's names,
Speaker 1: like I'm that person, But it just blows my mind
Speaker 1: that there's no way of managing that, like there's no
Speaker 1: better way of just calculating it, Like it's just you know,
Speaker 1: and obviously there's some kind of equation working in the background,
Speaker 1: because like, what was it, four dollars twenty five? Like
Speaker 1: that to me is inta oh okay, sorry for dolls ninety.
Speaker 3: Ninety big spend to you.
Speaker 1: But it just it makes no sense to me that
Speaker 1: that's the calculation when we could so easily create a
Speaker 1: really quick budget going all right, well, nappy's on average
Speaker 1: cost this, let's you know, even just drop it down
Speaker 1: to you know, the home brand nappies. All right, what
Speaker 1: does formula? What's the cheapest tin of formula? All right?
Speaker 1: On average, babies have like maybe two tins a week
Speaker 1: from what I understand, like they don't even do that
Speaker 1: budget and then split it by half and go all right,
Speaker 1: well you can do half in your partner or ex
Speaker 1: partner can do half. And it's just it makes no
Speaker 1: sense to me, and it breaks because there are so
Speaker 1: many women in this situation and.
Speaker 3: You're clearly a hustler.
Speaker 1: But then on top of that, you're like, well, I
Speaker 1: had to pull my kid out of daycare because it
Speaker 1: just didn't make financial sense, and like what was daycare
Speaker 1: costing you a day?
Speaker 4: One?
Speaker 1: Eight and you got four ninety nine from your partner
Speaker 1: to help with that?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, basically no, sir, it's a job.
Speaker 4: It doesn't matter what I earn because it's based on
Speaker 4: what he earns and the percentage of care.
Speaker 5: So I have one hundred percent care to her and
Speaker 5: you only started paying this six months after we separated.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so he's only really paid it from like January.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so basically nothing and no real support in that way.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I pulled her out. She's getting really sick
Speaker 4: and I just couldn't. It was like four hundred dollars
Speaker 4: a month. Yeah, she went a total of I think
Speaker 4: like nine days, like her bookings and she went three
Speaker 4: days of that because she's so sick.
Speaker 3: The cool little honey.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I'm like, we're just going to stop doing
Speaker 4: this because it doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1: It doesn't make financial sense. Tell me a little bit
Speaker 1: more about these other streams of income that you have.
Speaker 4: Okay, So I resell mostly baby things. Great, because I
Speaker 4: live in a rural area, so I go to town
Speaker 4: quite often. I'm on the border of Act yep. So
Speaker 4: going to Act, there's always stuff on the side of
Speaker 4: the road, and it's like a hobby ace, grab a friend,
Speaker 4: grab my sister, and go on my big car.
Speaker 5: When I had a big car and just.
Speaker 4: Like put stuff in my car, stick in my garage
Speaker 4: and sell it.
Speaker 5: And then I would use that money to pay for
Speaker 5: her nappies.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I couldn't afford it, Especially before I moved here,
Speaker 4: I couldn't afford it.
Speaker 3: I know, saving stuff from landfill as well, which is great.
Speaker 1: I feel like you're so resourceful, like single moms are
Speaker 1: another bridge. Like you guys are next level. I love it.
Speaker 1: Tell us about your other streams. I'm very here for this.
Speaker 4: They're basically just like Survey's market research, my bin's job.
Speaker 4: Any air tasker jobs that come up. So I'm qualified
Speaker 4: and business qualified in childcare admin do all those of things.
Speaker 4: I'm not very creative, so I just do like the
Speaker 4: physical labor, like shovels on dirt and paid seven mill
Speaker 4: of bucks.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and then I do card and bank churning as well.
Speaker 3: What's that?
Speaker 1: So it's basically like you open a bank account, you
Speaker 1: do all the things you need to do, pops some
Speaker 1: money in there, use it a few times, you gain
Speaker 1: the benefits of opening the card, and then you close
Speaker 1: it off.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, I see, so like credit cards that come
Speaker 3: with like sign up bonuses and things like that. Got
Speaker 3: it interesting?
Speaker 1: Do you know how much that impacts your credit score? Though,
Speaker 1: I'm just being financial advisor?
Speaker 4: Oh really, My credit score is like in the seven
Speaker 4: to eight hundred, and I don't have any other loans.
Speaker 5: I've never bought a.
Speaker 4: House, so it's just my phone bill from like three
Speaker 4: years ago and those all.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: Next money question I want to ask is what is
Speaker 1: your big money goal?
Speaker 4: So my initial goal was to buy a house, but
Speaker 4: that so far from happening at this moment.
Speaker 3: And that's okay.
Speaker 4: My daughter and I have quite content who we are.
Speaker 4: We're safe now and we're trying to just get on
Speaker 4: with the day to day instead of what could happen
Speaker 4: further down the track. So I have a car, that's
Speaker 4: my first goal. My next goal as I'm getting in
Speaker 4: visa line. So that's about eight thousand epic.
Speaker 1: And then I want to ask you have a lot
Speaker 1: of income streams, but do you have any investments.
Speaker 4: I have Super, which has literally nothing in it because
Speaker 4: I had to withdraw for like during COVID. I manually
Speaker 4: put fifty dollars a fortnight in there to can top
Speaker 4: it up, and I didn't get any top ups during
Speaker 4: my matt leave or anything like that, so there's just
Speaker 4: nothing for like four years.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, how do you feel about that?
Speaker 4: It's a bit sad, especially when I'm in a household
Speaker 4: with family members who have like over you know, I'd
Speaker 4: say one twenty my mum's got almost a million in Super,
Speaker 4: So when she tells me that, I'm just like, I
Speaker 4: like five thousand dollars.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so hard.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So it's like everything I've worked for in the past,
Speaker 4: I'd say eight years is gone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's hard because you have to factor into
Speaker 3: that and we'll dive into this again a little bit later.
Speaker 3: But you've obviously gone through a little bit of a trauma,
Speaker 3: and I don't think it's a bad thing that you've
Speaker 3: prioritized your personal safety over that's some of those other things,
Speaker 3: because if you don't have a future, there's no point
Speaker 3: having money there for it, right.
Speaker 4: Yeah, especially when financial abuse is such a I had
Speaker 4: such a big presence. Yeah, and I didn't really know
Speaker 4: what it was until my lawyer was pointed out to me.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's the painful part because you probably didn't realize.
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, exactly exactly.
Speaker 1: So we'll get into that straight after the break. But
Speaker 1: next question is do you have any debts?
Speaker 4: I do I owe eight thousand dollars to a family member.
Speaker 4: They helped me get a car so that it wasn't
Speaker 4: up for grabs during my custody for my child.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't have still, yep. And I'm about.
Speaker 4: To buy laptop, so it's like a future did Yeah,
Speaker 4: I need one new one for work because my little
Speaker 4: MacBook does not cope with all of the systems I'm using.
Speaker 1: For Yeah, that is fair. There are a lot of
Speaker 1: them as well. Next question, when and if you are
Speaker 1: shopping online? Are you using shop back?
Speaker 5: I do you shop back? Like religiously?
Speaker 3: Feel like I do? Actually religious? Tell us?
Speaker 5: How so I buy my petrol and shot back.
Speaker 3: Your petrol shop back? This is you? Tell us?
Speaker 5: So I have heard anyone else do this?
Speaker 1: Someats I don't believe.
Speaker 3: I thought I was across like every possible. I thought
Speaker 3: you were the wizard. But I've never heard of petrol.
Speaker 3: Please tell me more.
Speaker 1: No, So I have a Toyota. I bought a Toyota
Speaker 1: at the beginning of the year.
Speaker 4: So Toyota is a partner a pole and they have
Speaker 4: their own discount system.
Speaker 5: But so do shot back? Shot back has ampole?
Speaker 4: So and I live in an area where it takes
Speaker 4: twenty minutes to get from one card to the other.
Speaker 4: Like I, you know, it's very very small plays so
Speaker 4: there's ampoles like everywhere.
Speaker 3: So how do you do it?
Speaker 5: Tell us? Like?
Speaker 1: Do I just show my shot back at card at
Speaker 1: am pole?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I can't work out in my brain
Speaker 1: how I would facilitate this.
Speaker 4: So I pre purchase my petrol twenty five dollars at
Speaker 4: a time, yep, every fortnight weekly. If I feel like
Speaker 4: chucking an extra twenty five in but I do it
Speaker 4: in advance, so I always have money for fuel. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and I always have twenty five dollars for the next week.
Speaker 4: So then I got I fill my car and I
Speaker 4: either pay the difference or I use to cards and
Speaker 4: then I get shot back on the petrol cards.
Speaker 5: So I just go and scanm my petrol card from
Speaker 5: the shot back app.
Speaker 3: You are so smart. I am one hundred million.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for around the corner from a house.
Speaker 3: Literally wild catch you with the bowser all right.
Speaker 1: Next question, I want to know what is your best
Speaker 1: money habit.
Speaker 4: I think education, Like that sounds very privileged, but I
Speaker 4: think I know where everything kind of is in my area.
Speaker 5: Again, I think that just comes with living in a
Speaker 5: small area.
Speaker 4: But I know that, like I can get nappies from
Speaker 4: wor Worse instead of Oh well, I can get them
Speaker 4: from a big w instead of Worse if I wanted to,
Speaker 4: and they're the same price, so I don't have to
Speaker 4: do that extra trip. Or like I know, so my
Speaker 4: fish tank broke, for example, I just contacted came out
Speaker 4: and I was like, hey, my fish tank broke, and
Speaker 4: they're like, okay, we'll raise it for free.
Speaker 3: Instead of just going out and buying wine buy Why.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know how to be resourceful. Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: think that's so smart, Like that is such a good
Speaker 1: money win skill because so many of us would just
Speaker 1: like be like, oh fish tank broke, like.
Speaker 3: Gotta buy, gotta buy a new one.
Speaker 1: Like I'm very guilty of that sometimes when I should
Speaker 1: take things back because I'm like, I just I hate
Speaker 1: asking for a refund. I hate doing that. You probably
Speaker 1: surprising coming from me, even I'm the most audacious, funny
Speaker 1: person you've probably ever met. But I just don't like
Speaker 1: that interaction. But I also know that that's what I
Speaker 1: should be doing. So when people like I'm good at that,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I wish I had more of your confidence.
Speaker 1: I hate going up to the front desk.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like red rolls are cheaper at Coals to
Speaker 4: buy them individually than they are demandment Baker's Delight by
Speaker 4: like twenty cents.
Speaker 5: So really coals.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so it's just like knowing.
Speaker 3: Where to go and what to do.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh my gosh, I.
Speaker 5: Love that, especially have a crying baby.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I was gonna say.
Speaker 1: That's actually such an important point as well, because like
Speaker 1: mums sometimes just rely on convenience, and you're like, I
Speaker 1: can even do this, while she's screaming this is great.
Speaker 1: I'm a genius flipping this on its head. What is
Speaker 1: your worst money habit?
Speaker 4: Probably food, I think everyone likes too, at least like
Speaker 4: a little splurge on food. I guess because I'm vegan.
Speaker 4: Food's really expensive, yes, and I choose to eat gluten
Speaker 4: free options because I have an autoimune condition so that
Speaker 4: it makes it even more expensive.
Speaker 5: But I'm just like, oh my god, a new vegan thing.
Speaker 3: I have that.
Speaker 4: Oh Someone's like, do you want to go out, and
Speaker 4: I'm just like, yeah, I have that that.
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, it's so hard when it comes out.
Speaker 4: And then I look at my bank account and I'm like,
Speaker 4: I ate all that awayeeees.
Speaker 3: Yeah, not great.
Speaker 1: But I feel like a lot of us can probably
Speaker 1: relate to that, because I definitely did. The second I
Speaker 1: see a new plant based option, I'm like, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get that. That is great, And gluten free bread is
Speaker 1: ridiculously expensive for no good reason. Kind of rude money diarist.
Speaker 1: Last question of the set of questions before we do
Speaker 1: a bit more of a deep dive, is what grade
Speaker 1: would you give your money habits. If we forced you
Speaker 1: to give yourself a grade, probably like a bee.
Speaker 4: I was like, I'm a really good saver, Like I
Speaker 4: save more than eighty percent away income every single fortnight.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I do.
Speaker 4: And I am very frugal. So I only buy things
Speaker 4: when I absolutely want them or I have been thinking
Speaker 4: about them for a long time, and I always maybe
Speaker 4: it's stingy, but when it comes to my daughter, like
Speaker 4: she has my family who give her everything she wants,
Speaker 4: so when she wants something, it's like either on the
Speaker 4: chipper side, or I'll pull out something from a storage
Speaker 4: container and be like.
Speaker 3: Here, yeah, yeah, epic everything.
Speaker 4: I like that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, So I tend not to buy things for her.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. I've heard of.
Speaker 1: Is it toy recycling where you're like, oh sorry, toy
Speaker 1: cycling where you like hide their toys from them and
Speaker 1: then they think that they're new again. It's like a
Speaker 1: big people do that to me with clothes. I feel
Speaker 1: like I should actually get into the habit of.
Speaker 3: Cycle them through. I think it's a montessory thing where
Speaker 3: you have a set amount out because kids only focus
Speaker 3: on a certain number of things at a time, and
Speaker 3: then they forget what's put away and then it's like
Speaker 3: it's brand new again. You're right, like, why would you
Speaker 3: buy something when you can just pull it out two
Speaker 3: months later They're like, oh my god, this is the
Speaker 3: best toy ever. You're literally going to be the best. Mum.
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about it. Let's go to
Speaker 1: a break and then we're going to deep dive on
Speaker 1: our money direst because I just feel like I'm going
Speaker 1: to look like a terrible future mum. I continue here.
Speaker 1: All right, all right, we are back money Diarist. You
Speaker 1: have a really interesting money story that I think a
Speaker 1: lot of our community can really connect with. You're a
Speaker 1: single mum, You've been through a lot to get to
Speaker 1: this stage. You have a gorgeous two, your old daughter.
Speaker 1: Now you have eleven streams of income, which is beyond impressive.
Speaker 1: Obviously they're all small and all require work and energy
Speaker 1: and effort, and I'm genuinely so impressed. But I want
Speaker 1: to know a bit more about your situation. In your
Speaker 1: money diary, you wrote in and said, look, I've gotten
Speaker 1: out of a domestically violent relationship. How did you decide
Speaker 1: that now was the time? I just can't I'm going
Speaker 1: to go live with my parents, and you know this
Speaker 1: is my re reality.
Speaker 4: I guess the option to leave my relationship was forced
Speaker 4: upon me.
Speaker 5: So I was the one.
Speaker 4: Who ended my relationship because I had put up with
Speaker 4: over a year of trying to the point where it
Speaker 4: was like I was just flogging that dead horse. I
Speaker 4: was just trying for no absolutely no reason, just to
Speaker 4: keep my daughter safe and happy and give her that
Speaker 4: fairy tale family because I didn't want her to grow
Speaker 4: up in a broken home, and that clouded my judgment
Speaker 4: on how I felt about the situation for so long.
Speaker 4: So we just kind of came to a flat end.
Speaker 4: Like it's quite hard to explain because it all just went,
Speaker 4: but like it just everything died off. The relationship died off,
Speaker 4: the communication died off, the quality of time died off,
Speaker 4: the quality of care for my daughter died off. There
Speaker 4: was a lot of throwing things, a lot of shouting,
Speaker 4: a lot of things that just were not sitting well
Speaker 4: with me, to the point where I was like, you
Speaker 4: need to leave. And then he took his clothes, his
Speaker 4: PS four and never came back.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 4: Because we lived in a rental, I couldn't afford that
Speaker 4: on my own. Course, So then I had to leave
Speaker 4: and I had to take everything we owned with me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a lot to carry, that's a lot to
Speaker 1: go through.
Speaker 5: It was quite hard.
Speaker 4: It took over six months to sell everything I owned
Speaker 4: in a storage unit, plus paying for storage. And I
Speaker 4: didn't want to go back to my family. I didn't
Speaker 4: have anywhere else to go either, and that person kept
Speaker 4: showing up at my house and demanding to see my child, and.
Speaker 5: That was just too much. So I got a lawyer involved.
Speaker 1: Which is very fair and a very intelligent step. How
Speaker 1: did that go for you?
Speaker 4: That was difficult, I guess because I had gone from
Speaker 4: having a lot of savings to having no savings, to
Speaker 4: having my own money.
Speaker 5: Which he wasn't able.
Speaker 4: To access, which is another issue of our relationship, to
Speaker 4: then having to give it all away and not have
Speaker 4: any safety in it, and not have any thing for myself.
Speaker 5: We also live in a small area.
Speaker 4: Like I said, every time I call up there would
Speaker 4: be like, okay, let me take your name down, here's
Speaker 4: my name, let me take his name down, here's his name.
Speaker 5: Oh sorry, conflict of interest. We can't help you. Oh sorry,
Speaker 5: conflict of interests. We can't help you. So I was
Speaker 5: kept getting.
Speaker 1: Roadblocks, and that's because your partner had spoken to that lawyer, right, yes,
Speaker 1: And was that a strategy he had implemented on purpose
Speaker 1: or was that a strategy that he'd just had a
Speaker 1: chat with a few lawyers, because I know that in
Speaker 1: situations like that sometimes one party will inquire with a
Speaker 1: lawyer to block the other party out from using them.
Speaker 5: I think it's a bit of both.
Speaker 4: I mean, we suspect that he did a lot of manipulation,
Speaker 4: but we also don't think he is smart enough to manipulate.
Speaker 4: So it's a bit of like a don't give yeah,
Speaker 4: it's more of an assumption.
Speaker 5: I suppose.
Speaker 3: I want to ask a little bit about your being
Speaker 3: on welfare, because we actually put out I don't remember
Speaker 3: if you responded specifically to this host potentially, but we
Speaker 3: wanted to talk to a diarist who was living off
Speaker 3: of welfare because I think that there's a really big
Speaker 3: stigma attached to people who utilize welfare resources, and I
Speaker 3: think that often people carry shame with them that they
Speaker 3: absolutely just shouldn't have to. I want to know for you,
Speaker 3: how did you feel going from obviously an incredibly challenging situation.
Speaker 3: You said you didn't want to move back in with
Speaker 3: your parents, you maybe felt a little bit stuck. Did
Speaker 3: you experience any of those feelings and how did you
Speaker 3: kind of move past them.
Speaker 4: I definitely did experience some stigma with being on welfare
Speaker 4: because my family are very against welfare.
Speaker 5: So both of.
Speaker 4: My parents' parents have been on welfare basically their whole lives.
Speaker 4: Especially my dad's family. I don't think they've ever worked
Speaker 4: today in their life. So my mom especially, she looked
Speaker 4: down on welfare, and I didn't want her to look.
Speaker 5: Down on me.
Speaker 4: But as our relationship started to mend itself by having
Speaker 4: my daughter by being in the house, by talking to
Speaker 4: her about what actually goes on in my life when
Speaker 4: I think what I feel being diagnosed with the exact
Speaker 4: same autoimmune condition.
Speaker 5: It opened up her eyes to what my life can.
Speaker 4: Be now that I'm on welfare because I have stability,
Speaker 4: I have the option to stay in bed an extra
Speaker 4: bit longer, I have the option to go to the
Speaker 4: park for five hours instead of one like It helped
Speaker 4: her see the benefit, although she still does see the downfall.
Speaker 4: And I think when I tell people like, oh, I'm
Speaker 4: on welfare, no, you can't get a colone, No, you
Speaker 4: can't get a home load.
Speaker 5: So it stopped me progressing in my future as well.
Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, Yeah, it's a bit.
Speaker 5: I don't know. It's hard to tell people when they're like, oh,
Speaker 5: what do you do?
Speaker 4: And I'm like, I'm a stay at home mum, because
Speaker 4: they're like, oh, you're a stay at home mum. It's like, actually,
Speaker 4: my daughter and I both the happiest we have been
Speaker 4: in our entire lives. And she's safe because I don't
Speaker 4: have to leave, yeah, because I can stay home.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I think that that's so important to point out
Speaker 1: as well, because for a lot of people who are
Speaker 1: on welfare, it's not a choice, Like you didn't choose
Speaker 1: to go down this rooge. Like, I'm sure in a
Speaker 1: perfect world that is not how you wanted it to
Speaker 1: work out, but it is how it works out. And
Speaker 1: I'm genuinely so grateful we live in a country where
Speaker 1: we have that support that you can stay at home.
Speaker 1: And it sounds like you are an absolute hustler as well,
Speaker 1: so I don't think that's going to be your reality forever.
Speaker 1: So it's so nice that you've got that bridging finance
Speaker 1: in a way to go do you know what, here's
Speaker 1: this so you can get on your feet and you
Speaker 1: can have the stability and then you can thrive later.
Speaker 1: And I think that that's, you know, the way a
Speaker 1: lot of our community sees welfare and sees that thing,
Speaker 1: like whether you're on what is it, youth allowance or
Speaker 1: you know, a parenting pension or a disability payment, like
Speaker 1: most of us are in that situation. Because it's just
Speaker 1: the situation. It is what it is, and that's great.
Speaker 1: Let's also work on ourselves, work out where we actually
Speaker 1: want to be, because I think that there's this stigma
Speaker 1: when you say welfare that you go, oh, well, you
Speaker 1: just missed be a doll b lodger, when that's actually
Speaker 1: not the case at all. It's so situational, and I
Speaker 1: feel like too many people just assume the worst the
Speaker 1: second you say that word, and that's not what that
Speaker 1: means at all. Like the idea that welfare exists and
Speaker 1: this beautiful mum got out of a financially and you know,
Speaker 1: domestically violent situation and now can support her child, I'm
Speaker 1: all for.
Speaker 3: It, yeah, one thousand percent. And it doesn't mean that
Speaker 3: you have to sit there forever either. You said just
Speaker 3: before that, you know, you kind of had to put
Speaker 3: your career on hold. What do you want your future
Speaker 3: to look like? What are your plans?
Speaker 4: So I guess, like, as I said before, I'm just
Speaker 4: like starting to dip my toes in finance. So I
Speaker 4: started looking into personal finance for myself. And so I
Speaker 4: made a shift. It's very interesting shift, and I was
Speaker 4: explaining it to my current CEO and she's like, I
Speaker 4: don't get it. So I worked in childcare for eight years.
Speaker 4: I worked on the floor with children every day. I
Speaker 4: then ran my own center and then got pregnant after
Speaker 4: a year and a half of being with somebody, and
Speaker 4: then by the time she was three months, he was gone.
Speaker 4: So I was like, I can't cope being with the children.
Speaker 4: It's too trickering considering we do the same job. There's
Speaker 4: a lot of downfalls to being with children all day,
Speaker 4: every day when you're just not mentally coping.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 4: I went and looked for an alternative job, which was
Speaker 4: in admin. So I had done my business certificate and
Speaker 4: I started working in admin. And then my boss was
Speaker 4: like telling me all about how they split the cost
Speaker 4: of the parents and their children and what room gets what,
Speaker 4: and I found that really interesting, so then I started
Speaker 4: my personal finance journey. So then I started at the
Speaker 4: beginning of the year that I would try out working
Speaker 4: in finance. I started studying in finance, and I guess
Speaker 4: that's where I'm going to go with my career. I've
Speaker 4: gone away from working in a school age environ and
Speaker 4: childcare environment to working more with my mind and less
Speaker 4: with my body, and I think having an auto imane condition.
Speaker 4: I can't do the long hours. I don't have the
Speaker 4: energy to be with other people's children. I barely have
Speaker 4: enough for myself after I've been with my daughter all day.
Speaker 4: So that's where my life's going to go. So I'm
Speaker 4: more focused on being happy and present. And because my
Speaker 4: case is not officially closed, so he's gone.
Speaker 5: Don't know how he went. He just disappeared.
Speaker 4: He least twenty minutes down the road, which is very scary,
Speaker 4: so he can shot up and just take my daughter
Speaker 4: whenever he wants.
Speaker 5: So I just trying to try and be present.
Speaker 4: And yeah, that's why I guess I stayed on welfare,
Speaker 4: because although I love to.
Speaker 5: Work and I love to learn, if I want to
Speaker 5: have an extra.
Speaker 4: Day to just be with her, then I can and
Speaker 4: I won't regret it if something were to happen. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Wow, thank you for sharing that. That's really challenging to
Speaker 1: think that that's overlaid onto your decision to go. Do
Speaker 1: you know what, I just want to stay here doing
Speaker 1: this for now, to be present for my daughter. It's
Speaker 1: a very special decision to be able to make, and
Speaker 1: I'm sure that she is absolutely thrilled by that decision
Speaker 1: the time. She's like, this is the best I am
Speaker 1: living my best life. But what will it mean in
Speaker 1: the future. You said your case isn't closed. Is that
Speaker 1: circumstance going to change significantly? Maybe once it is.
Speaker 4: It's hard to say because I don't know if her
Speaker 4: father will return. Like like I said, he lives very
Speaker 4: close he you know, he's always on the topic of
Speaker 4: her life for her.
Speaker 5: He can just show up and take her.
Speaker 4: The case is not officially closed, no letter saying hey,
Speaker 4: you're going to full time parent. It's just an expectation
Speaker 4: that I do and I have done it since the
Speaker 4: day she was born. So if he was to show up,
Speaker 4: that would be a lot of money to fork out
Speaker 4: as well. Like they told me last year that if
Speaker 4: I was to go to court, I'd probably not win.
Speaker 4: I'd probably end up we shared care and it would
Speaker 4: cost me one hundred thousand dollars. And if I'm not
Speaker 4: showing that I'm being true to supporting their relationship, I
Speaker 4: then have to pay his bill as well.
Speaker 5: Yeah wow, Yeah, and lawyers are not cheap.
Speaker 4: My lawyer is like five fifteen hour and she charges
Speaker 4: every six minutes.
Speaker 3: Yeah for her time. Yeah, that's crazy.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So I have to keep in mind that if he
Speaker 4: was to return, it's not just an emotional thing, it's
Speaker 4: also a financial thing. He'll be able to come after
Speaker 4: everything I now own, He'll be able to.
Speaker 5: Get my daughter.
Speaker 4: He'll be like I'll be up for thousands of dollars,
Speaker 4: possibly hundreds of thousand dollars if it goes to court.
Speaker 4: So I just want to be present and be with
Speaker 4: her until that happens.
Speaker 1: That's such a hard decision to make. But I'm really
Speaker 1: proud that you're so clear on what you are doing,
Speaker 1: because I think historically when I've spoken to people about
Speaker 1: similar situations, they're just like, I just don't know what
Speaker 1: I want to do, And you seem so clear that
Speaker 1: you're like, I just want to spend as much time
Speaker 1: with my daughter and just be present. I think that
Speaker 1: that's such a beautiful space to be in during a
Speaker 1: time where you arguably have a lot of turmoil surrounding you,
Speaker 1: Like that's a lot to deal with, but I think
Speaker 1: you're doing a very beautiful job, my friend. Thank you
Speaker 1: all right, Jess, I think unfortunately that is all we
Speaker 1: have time for today, money direst. I have adored learning
Speaker 1: about your story. Thank you for sharing so much of
Speaker 1: yourself and your daughter's story with us. I think it's
Speaker 1: been so powerful to understand where you're coming from and
Speaker 1: how things are benefiting you, but also how it's so challenging.
Speaker 1: Like I feel like so many people in our community
Speaker 1: are really going to resonate with this story or even
Speaker 1: just have a better understanding of people in your position.
Speaker 1: So I'm really grateful that you were here today to
Speaker 1: share that with us. So thank you, Jess. Can you
Speaker 1: wrap the boring but important stuff?
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Speaker 4: Bye,