WEBVTT - 'Fearless' with Jelena Dockic 🎾 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:03.960 This episode of the WOODLFE discusses issues such as self harm, 0:00:04.080 --> 0:00:08.039 domestic and family violence, suicide, and eating disorders that may 0:00:08.119 --> 0:00:11.600 be difficult for some listeners. If you need support, please 0:00:11.640 --> 0:00:15.520 call Lifeline on thirteen eleven fourteen. If you're in an 0:00:15.520 --> 0:00:18.640 emergency or at immediate risk of harm to yourself or others, 0:00:19.079 --> 0:00:23.400 please contact Emergency Services on Triple zero. For support services 0:00:23.400 --> 0:00:27.920 outside of Australia, please visit checkpoint org dot com slash global. 0:00:28.320 --> 0:00:31.520 If you decide today's episode is not for you, that's okay. 0:00:31.840 --> 0:00:34.159 There are plenty more episodes of the Woodline for you 0:00:34.200 --> 0:00:36.479 to enjoy. 0:00:39.880 --> 0:00:42.840 What a couple of weeks it has been fate haven't 0:00:42.880 --> 0:00:44.720 touched the ground, or at least that's how it feels. 0:00:45.320 --> 0:00:49.880 Hello everybody, I am launching am on You supplement brand 0:00:49.920 --> 0:00:54.160 twenty eight go and pur launch events with the whole 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:56.720 family in Sydney, and a bunch of other things happening 0:00:56.800 --> 0:00:59.320 with my Jim the Woodshed. It's been a crazy few 0:00:59.320 --> 0:01:02.200 weeks to put to be back, I can't wait to 0:01:02.240 --> 0:01:05.840 speak to this person, someone that I've always always admired, 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:10.000 but in particular in recent times, just been completely drawn 0:01:10.080 --> 0:01:15.120 and compelled by their story and honesty and vulnerability and openness, 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:19.199 and that is former number four tennis player in the world, 0:01:19.280 --> 0:01:20.280 Elena Dokicch. 0:01:20.760 --> 0:01:22.479 We're going to hear from her, hear her. 0:01:22.400 --> 0:01:26.720 Story how she now uses that story to empower and 0:01:26.880 --> 0:01:30.199 inspire others. Then we're going to talk about kids, which, 0:01:30.360 --> 0:01:32.319 now kids in general is the topic very close to 0:01:32.319 --> 0:01:34.360 my heart, but this one in particular about how to 0:01:34.400 --> 0:01:37.440 get your kids moving as a parent, either get moving 0:01:37.480 --> 0:01:40.119 with them or get them moving and be a good 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:40.720 role model. 0:01:41.200 --> 0:01:44.440 That's all coming up in a very exciting episode. 0:01:44.160 --> 0:02:03.480 Of The Woodlife. 0:02:06.600 --> 0:02:10.760 Okay, we are joined in the studio today by Sporting Royalty, 0:02:10.800 --> 0:02:12.680 and I don't use that term lightly. We just had 0:02:12.680 --> 0:02:14.400 a bit of a we just got a bit off 0:02:14.440 --> 0:02:17.000 cuff because we decided not to wear our headphones because 0:02:17.080 --> 0:02:19.840 Joleana's hair looks absolutely spectacular. 0:02:19.200 --> 0:02:22.240 And why would we put that at risk? Mine? Not 0:02:22.320 --> 0:02:22.840 so much. 0:02:23.040 --> 0:02:25.680 Welcome to the Woodlife, Thank you so much for joining us. 0:02:25.800 --> 0:02:27.320 Elna Dockitch joins us in. 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:28.120 The studio today. 0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:32.959 Why do you think the media is so infatuated with you? 0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:35.679 Did it all start as a tennis player with your dad? 0:02:35.720 --> 0:02:37.079 Do you think is that where it all sort of 0:02:37.120 --> 0:02:37.600 kicked off? 0:02:37.720 --> 0:02:39.920 Yeah, I don't know where to start after that great introduction, 0:02:40.080 --> 0:02:44.160 but thank you, no, thank you. Look, I burst onto 0:02:44.160 --> 0:02:46.600 the scene very early on as a fifteen year old, 0:02:46.639 --> 0:02:50.520 so dating itself, even just as a fifteen year old 0:02:50.560 --> 0:02:53.679 girl and tennis player coming through and getting through in 0:02:53.800 --> 0:02:57.679 Grand slams already and having big wins is massive and 0:02:58.360 --> 0:03:00.520 in any in any sport, and we have that today 0:03:00.560 --> 0:03:03.400 as well. We've got incredible young stars coming through. So 0:03:03.400 --> 0:03:06.720 that always comes with a lot of media attention in itself, 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:07.920 whether you want it or not. 0:03:08.680 --> 0:03:11.680 Why when someone is a sports person, I think we 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:15.040 have a different attitude to or a different expectation to 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:16.600 how much they should be able to handle it. 0:03:16.720 --> 0:03:18.760 Kind of do go and say, look, it does come 0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:19.480 with the territory. 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:22.240 Yeah, so you used to tell yourself that that was 0:03:22.280 --> 0:03:22.919 your attitude. 0:03:23.000 --> 0:03:25.240 Well, I think you're kind of almost thrown into it 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:30.800 and you're yeah, and especially sports that are global like 0:03:30.880 --> 0:03:33.840 tennis is. But at the same time, that's why it's 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:37.920 important to have that protection for players and to be 0:03:38.000 --> 0:03:40.000 able to get help or to be able to teach 0:03:40.040 --> 0:03:42.880 them certain things or how to handle certain things. And 0:03:42.920 --> 0:03:46.240 that's where a lot of the team around you management 0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:48.560 and so on plays a crucial part. 0:03:48.760 --> 0:03:50.680 And do you think you did have that or didn't 0:03:50.720 --> 0:03:51.119 have that? 0:03:51.200 --> 0:03:54.040 Well, I think it was very different times as well 0:03:54.080 --> 0:03:57.240 when I grew up. I think my story is very 0:03:57.240 --> 0:04:01.640 different to a lot, even though abuse in itself happens 0:04:01.680 --> 0:04:04.320 a lot in sport, not just from parents, but from 0:04:04.360 --> 0:04:07.560 cultures as well, and we're hearing more and more stories 0:04:07.600 --> 0:04:12.760 about it today because of incredibly courageous and vulnerable women 0:04:13.800 --> 0:04:15.960 that have especially women, because it happens a lot more 0:04:16.000 --> 0:04:20.440 to girls, and we have been able to hear about 0:04:20.480 --> 0:04:23.800 those stories. And Simon Bars and the US gymnastics team 0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:29.000 is just one that comes to that uncovered decades of 0:04:29.839 --> 0:04:34.120 just horrendous abuse and control and how everything happened. 0:04:34.760 --> 0:04:37.080 And so for those that don't know with your story, 0:04:37.800 --> 0:04:41.200 only if you comfortable, I've got what what happened to you. 0:04:41.520 --> 0:04:44.080 Look, I'm an open book. I think everyone that follows 0:04:44.120 --> 0:04:48.360 me knows that started with my book Unbreakable six years ago. 0:04:48.520 --> 0:04:51.359 Fearless is now a second part. We'll get to that, 0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:55.320 But look, I'm someone I wasn't born in Australia. I 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:58.400 was born in water On, Yugoslavia, a region that's now 0:04:58.560 --> 0:05:03.560 country Croatia. I grew up in poverty, didn't have very much. 0:05:03.680 --> 0:05:07.080 My father was very motivated by me playing tennis that 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:10.159 it was a way out. When I was eight the 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:13.680 war erupted, had to move into neighboring Serbia, and then 0:05:13.720 --> 0:05:15.839 three years later at the age of eleven, to Australia, 0:05:15.920 --> 0:05:20.360 so we were refugees twice, lived in really difficult conditions, 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:23.520 barely had anything to we didn't have heating in winter. 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:26.400 I remember standing at the Red Cross in Line as 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:28.760 an eight year old at four am to just try 0:05:28.800 --> 0:05:32.280 and get some bread. So I think that kind of 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:36.320 was a big part of my childhood. But I loved tennis, 0:05:36.960 --> 0:05:39.440 and I had this big passion for tennis, and I 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:41.600 had a bit of a natural talent as well. But 0:05:41.640 --> 0:05:44.880 my father was extremely abusive from the very first day 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:47.280 that I started playing, which was from the age of six, 0:05:48.320 --> 0:05:52.360 not just emotionally and psychologically, but physically as well, which 0:05:52.480 --> 0:05:55.800 got worse and worse as the years went on, and 0:05:55.880 --> 0:05:59.799 by the time I was fourteen fifteen, I was pretty 0:05:59.839 --> 0:06:02.120 much kicked and punched on was daily. I was hit 0:06:02.160 --> 0:06:03.719 with a leather belt until I bled. 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:07.720 I was based on your performance on the court. 0:06:07.640 --> 0:06:09.719 Yes, and sometimes I would even win matches and I 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:12.720 would still get beaten. So it was really almost pretty 0:06:12.800 --> 0:06:15.679 much like a loose little scenario for me, and every 0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:19.920 single day it was kind of a battle to either 0:06:19.960 --> 0:06:22.600 have a good practice session or win a match. And 0:06:22.680 --> 0:06:25.680 it was basically, am I going to survive another day? 0:06:25.720 --> 0:06:27.760 Because he was getting worse as I was getting older, 0:06:27.800 --> 0:06:32.200 because he was also an alcoholic as well. But I 0:06:32.240 --> 0:06:35.040 had one of my worst beatings when I was about 0:06:35.760 --> 0:06:40.240 seventeen eighteen, and I was kicked and punched in a 0:06:40.320 --> 0:06:43.839 head until I fell unconscious. That was a catalyst for 0:06:43.920 --> 0:06:46.560 me to escape a little bit later at the age 0:06:46.600 --> 0:06:50.120 of nineteen. But also what really hurt for me, I 0:06:50.160 --> 0:06:53.360 even sometimes say worse than the abuse, and people look 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:55.440 at me and arabit shockmen. I say that, but I 0:06:55.480 --> 0:07:00.200 genuinely mean that is the fact that his outbursts really 0:07:00.520 --> 0:07:06.080 shattered my reputation with my fans, with the tennis community, 0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:07.640 and with everyone. 0:07:07.360 --> 0:07:09.200 Around separated you. 0:07:09.760 --> 0:07:11.400 It was it was. 0:07:11.360 --> 0:07:12.160 The double act. 0:07:12.280 --> 0:07:14.520 Not that that was your plan or what you wanted, 0:07:14.560 --> 0:07:16.640 but that's how the media always bundled it. 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:19.920 I mean, I remember it even that was twenty odd years. 0:07:19.720 --> 0:07:22.440 Ago, and I talk about that openly in both of 0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:25.760 my books and the effect that had on me, and 0:07:26.120 --> 0:07:29.840 I left at nineteen, for example, and actually. 0:07:29.720 --> 0:07:31.960 You completely lose your passion for tennis. 0:07:32.360 --> 0:07:33.360 No, actually I didn't. 0:07:33.400 --> 0:07:38.280 It's interesting and I asked that now because you comment tennis. 0:07:38.480 --> 0:07:41.000 I actually loved tennis, and I've always said it's not 0:07:41.240 --> 0:07:43.960 Tennis is not kind of to blame, really, although it 0:07:44.000 --> 0:07:46.800 would have been understandable if I didn't have the love 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:47.240 for the game. 0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:47.760 Really, if you. 0:07:47.840 --> 0:07:50.040 Walked away forever and never wanted to see another record 0:07:50.120 --> 0:07:51.680 or ball, I don't think anyone would. 0:07:52.560 --> 0:07:54.680 But it's been the opposite. And I've always said from 0:07:54.760 --> 0:07:56.360 that age of six, I don't think I would have 0:07:56.360 --> 0:07:59.360 also been able to go through the amount of abuse 0:07:59.440 --> 0:08:01.960 that I went through if I didn't love tennis, because 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:05.000 I genuinely wanted to play, and I genuinely felt like, 0:08:05.360 --> 0:08:07.600 even from a very young age, that was my passion 0:08:07.680 --> 0:08:09.920 and it was meant for me. You know, I loved competing, 0:08:10.920 --> 0:08:13.840 and yeah, I kind of always felt like that was 0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:17.200 my calling, and that's why I think I endured a 0:08:17.200 --> 0:08:19.440 lot of the things that I did. But look, I 0:08:19.520 --> 0:08:22.720 left at nineteen, but it came with a lot of consequences, 0:08:23.320 --> 0:08:26.040 not just with the media and my reputation which had 0:08:26.040 --> 0:08:28.200 a big impact on me, but with my father as well. 0:08:28.240 --> 0:08:30.400 Once you leave, it doesn't end. People think you leave 0:08:30.720 --> 0:08:34.640 maybe an abusive relationship or you know, a domestic violent 0:08:34.720 --> 0:08:37.360 situation with family, and that it just ends. It doesn't. 0:08:37.520 --> 0:08:40.400 You're you know, it turns into a very different battle 0:08:40.400 --> 0:08:44.320 where you are like scared constantly every single day and 0:08:44.360 --> 0:08:47.120 looking over your shoulder. And my father will show up 0:08:47.120 --> 0:08:51.280 in tournaments. I'd hire around the clock security for months 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:53.959 and months at a time. And for me, it came 0:08:54.000 --> 0:08:58.440 with financial consequences as well. Okay, I gave everything away 0:08:58.480 --> 0:09:00.880 to my father just because I wanted I thought he 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:03.280 would make things easier. I wanted peace. I didn't care 0:09:03.320 --> 0:09:07.480 about the money, so I gave away millions. Obviously it 0:09:07.520 --> 0:09:10.520 didn't matter to him. He always wanted kind of more 0:09:10.559 --> 0:09:12.360 and more and more, and he was a control thing 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:17.280 as well. And yeah, for me came with consequences where 0:09:17.480 --> 0:09:20.520 by the time I hit or turned twenty two in 0:09:20.520 --> 0:09:24.400 two thousand and five, I almost committed suicide. I didn't 0:09:24.440 --> 0:09:26.319 know it at the time, but I was battling anxiety 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:30.199 depression and PTSD. I was very traumatized, and at the 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:32.080 same time, yeah, I tried to continue to be on 0:09:32.120 --> 0:09:34.920 the tour. But yeah, again it was really really hard 0:09:34.920 --> 0:09:38.640 for me because I couldn't separate myself or my image 0:09:38.920 --> 0:09:41.600 or who I was from my father. And even though 0:09:41.640 --> 0:09:44.680 people didn't actually notice that I left time at nineteen 0:09:45.360 --> 0:09:49.800 and I never had an outburst myself, I never you know, 0:09:49.920 --> 0:09:52.520 I always just went about my business and played tennis, 0:09:52.840 --> 0:09:55.600 and I was still never separated from the things that 0:09:55.640 --> 0:09:57.679 he was doing. I was never looked at as a 0:09:57.720 --> 0:10:01.560 tennis player. Again, pretty much up until I write Unbreakable 0:10:01.720 --> 0:10:05.079 and told my story. And yeah, that was. 0:10:05.400 --> 0:10:10.720 Something really empowering and therapeutic about airing or telling everybody, 0:10:10.880 --> 0:10:11.959 getting it off your chest. 0:10:12.440 --> 0:10:14.920 Well, I didn't, to be honest with you, I didn't 0:10:14.920 --> 0:10:16.160 know that that would happen. 0:10:16.280 --> 0:10:20.920 No, that was a deliberate That was a nice consequence 0:10:20.960 --> 0:10:22.679 to come out of writing this book. 0:10:22.720 --> 0:10:25.160 Yes, so even if it was, you know, I would 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:27.080 have gone, Okay, this is very therapeutic for me. I'm 0:10:27.080 --> 0:10:28.960 going to write a book. But I actually didn't know. 0:10:29.040 --> 0:10:31.520 That's the thing. I was actually very fearful going into 0:10:31.520 --> 0:10:32.400 writing Unbreakable. 0:10:32.520 --> 0:10:33.280 I can imagine that. 0:10:33.600 --> 0:10:36.480 Because I said to my publisher and my ghost writer, 0:10:36.559 --> 0:10:38.200 I said, look, if I'm going to do this and 0:10:38.240 --> 0:10:41.040 write my book. I'm going to tell my whole story. 0:10:41.120 --> 0:10:41.719 I'm going to be. 0:10:43.200 --> 0:10:45.240 If I really tell the truth, don't. 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:48.600 Hold anything back. And I say at the end of Unbreakable, actually, 0:10:49.200 --> 0:10:52.520 if my story helps one person, for me, it's mission accomplished. 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:54.360 That's what I wanted. I just thought. I said to 0:10:54.360 --> 0:10:57.360 my ghostwriter Jest, she had so much passion for actually 0:10:57.400 --> 0:11:00.240 telling my story and writing it. I said, look, if 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:03.439 this helps one person and prevent and you must have. 0:11:03.440 --> 0:11:05.600 Had thousands of paper reach yet, yeah. 0:11:05.520 --> 0:11:08.920 Tens of absolutely, But I said, if this prevents one 0:11:09.040 --> 0:11:13.800 kid going through what I went through, it's all worth it. 0:11:13.800 --> 0:11:14.959 That's what I want to do it for. And I 0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:19.560 wanted to actually raise awareness of how much that happens, 0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:23.079 but not just in sport, but outside of sport antennis 0:11:23.720 --> 0:11:26.360 as a society in general. Because I grew up I 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:28.960 grew up in Eastern Europe, that kind of thing is normal. 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:32.680 Abuse is normal, especially towards women and girls, and that 0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:36.840 kind of control. So yeah, that was the reason I 0:11:36.960 --> 0:11:40.040 kind of went into it. But it was cathartic while 0:11:40.040 --> 0:11:42.920 we were actually doing it for about thirteen fourteen months, 0:11:43.720 --> 0:11:46.720 but at the same time it was very draining, but 0:11:46.760 --> 0:11:49.280 the day that Unbreakable came out, and I said it 0:11:49.320 --> 0:11:51.400 every single days since is the best day of my life. 0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:54.880 And I didn't know would do that, no idea. And 0:11:54.920 --> 0:12:00.120 why I say that is because vulnerability turned into me 0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:07.320 finding my voice and having this also incredible. I think 0:12:07.400 --> 0:12:10.280 courage and finding myself who I am as a person, 0:12:10.559 --> 0:12:15.160 but not living in darkness and in silence anymore, and 0:12:15.320 --> 0:12:17.880 finding my voice and finding who I am because when 0:12:17.920 --> 0:12:21.560 you live you know under someone's basically rule as a kid, 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:25.240 but also when you live with mental health struggles, when 0:12:25.280 --> 0:12:28.080 you live with trauma, when you've been a part of 0:12:28.080 --> 0:12:31.920 it for fifteen twenty years as a family unit, that 0:12:31.960 --> 0:12:32.720 doesn't go away. 0:12:33.160 --> 0:12:34.040 So you need to. 0:12:34.000 --> 0:12:38.680 Completely rediscover yourself, find your strength, find your courage, find 0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:41.360 your voice, and also find a way on how to heal. 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:44.280 And I genuinely believe that the way that we find 0:12:44.760 --> 0:12:47.680 or the way to healing is to tell us stories 0:12:48.280 --> 0:12:52.160 and also survivors to share our stories to help others. 0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:56.559 Because I'll give you an example. I always had role 0:12:56.600 --> 0:12:58.760 models growing up. So my role models in tennis, my 0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:02.720 heroes were Steffi Graffamsellis, and I wanted to play like them, 0:13:02.920 --> 0:13:05.240 and I did. I was very competitive and aggressive, but 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:07.839 also wanted to carry myself like them. I really liked 0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:12.240 how professional they were. And so that's kind of what 0:13:12.559 --> 0:13:14.760 the whole point of why we want to be role 0:13:14.800 --> 0:13:17.760 models and we want to inspire others. Right. So, but 0:13:17.840 --> 0:13:19.560 when I kind of grew up and went through all 0:13:19.640 --> 0:13:22.320 of the other things outside of sport, I didn't really 0:13:22.440 --> 0:13:24.880 have role models, you know sometimes for as those are parents, 0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:28.079 I didn't have that to look up to. So I 0:13:28.200 --> 0:13:31.480 didn't have anyone I could resonate with, maybe someone that's 0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:35.080 been through abuse or domestic violence or mental health struggles. 0:13:35.200 --> 0:13:37.120 So for me, it was like, maybe I can be 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:41.400 that for someone, for that one person out there, because 0:13:41.640 --> 0:13:44.240 so many of us live in silence and have actually 0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:47.319 died in silence due to mental health and abuse and 0:13:47.400 --> 0:13:50.319 domestic violence, which is don't talk about it. But since 0:13:51.880 --> 0:13:55.240 amazing people have come out and told their stories, like 0:13:55.320 --> 0:13:58.760 Grace Tame, who didn't just come out and changed them, 0:13:58.760 --> 0:14:02.600 but she changed the law, like I said, Simon Bars 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:05.280 and the use gymnastics tem so many people that have 0:14:05.360 --> 0:14:07.199 come at me to movement. Let's not forget how that 0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:10.520 started as well. So a lot has changed and we 0:14:10.600 --> 0:14:12.800 all of a sudden have so much more awareness, and 0:14:12.880 --> 0:14:17.079 we're starting these conversations that we wouldn't have if a 0:14:17.160 --> 0:14:19.920 few people and a few of us weren't vulnerable. And 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:23.240 very often I think also in sport and you said 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:26.240 it a little bit when we started this, athletes are 0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:30.080 looked at these amazing human beings that can't do no wrong, right, 0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:33.920 so almost like this perfection thing and silence is golden, 0:14:34.400 --> 0:14:37.520 but it is so wrong because actually vulnerability is strength 0:14:37.560 --> 0:14:40.360 and courage not a weakness. It takes guts to be 0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:43.440 vulnerable and to come out and share your story. But 0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:46.760 also shattering this myth that we have to be perfect 0:14:46.880 --> 0:14:50.360 somehow as athletes or even as human beings has put 0:14:50.440 --> 0:14:56.200 all this unnecessary pressure and unattainable standards and actually now 0:14:56.320 --> 0:14:58.760 listening to survivor stories, we are getting so much more 0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:01.120 out of it and actually making a change and creating 0:15:01.160 --> 0:15:01.600 a difference. 0:15:02.320 --> 0:15:05.680 What's your relationship with social media now? Do you use 0:15:05.760 --> 0:15:08.280 it a lot? Do you know? How do you deal 0:15:08.400 --> 0:15:12.040 with the good, the bad, the ugly? How do you 0:15:12.160 --> 0:15:12.560 deal with it? 0:15:12.680 --> 0:15:12.800 Now? 0:15:13.120 --> 0:15:16.160 I try and use social media for something with a positive. 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:20.000 I want to do it to create a community where yeah, 0:15:20.080 --> 0:15:23.440 I can try and still put out inspirational posts or 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:25.320 even things that I do, like work and stuff that 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:27.760 people actually like to see. A lot of the time, 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:29.880 you'd be surprised when I sometimes I feel like I'm 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:31.880 posting too much about my work and they go, no, no, 0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:33.560 we'll love to see that behind the scenes, and you 0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:36.560 forget sometimes because for us it's normal, right. But I 0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:39.120 try and actually do it for something good. That's what 0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:42.040 I always when. That was always my goal going into it. 0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:46.080 Does it come with downsides and trolling, absolutely, and I 0:15:46.160 --> 0:15:48.160 think we've all been there. It's just a matter of 0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:50.440 I think how you deal with it. Of Course I 0:15:50.600 --> 0:15:53.240 use the block button, but I've been very open in 0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:56.640 the trolling that I've received, the body shaming that I've 0:15:56.680 --> 0:16:00.600 had to face as well, even making fun of mental health. 0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:02.680 And I've done it the last couple of years. I 0:16:02.800 --> 0:16:04.720 especially did it this year at the Strain Open. We're 0:16:04.720 --> 0:16:08.120 actually exposed the messages and how vile they were, and 0:16:08.800 --> 0:16:11.080 I think that was important because I think it's important 0:16:11.120 --> 0:16:13.800 to show people and be very transparent on what's out 0:16:13.880 --> 0:16:15.880 there and what social media is like. It's just a 0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:19.200 no one kind of again, we come to fear of 0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:21.400 society if you talk about it, and a lot. 0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:24.520 Of people don't realize the severity of it exactly. 0:16:24.880 --> 0:16:26.960 Some of the messages that I done like it. 0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:29.160 It's horrendously Yeah, some. 0:16:29.200 --> 0:16:32.600 Of the messages that I got, and people, other commentators 0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:36.320 and other people that are in a public life people 0:16:36.400 --> 0:16:38.400 have read and go, oh my god, I can't believe 0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:41.200 someone can even write that. And I'm looking at and going, oh, well, 0:16:41.320 --> 0:16:41.920 this is normal. 0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:42.680 I've received this. 0:16:44.480 --> 0:16:46.720 Yeah, and then you realize, oh my god, it's not normal. 0:16:46.880 --> 0:16:49.000 So how did you deal with the body charming your lanning, 0:16:49.000 --> 0:16:51.640 because I think that might be something that really resonates 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:53.520 with our wood life audio. 0:16:53.640 --> 0:16:53.800 Yeah. 0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:55.760 So for me, the big thing is, look, I've been 0:16:55.800 --> 0:16:58.360 everything from you know, size two and four when I 0:16:58.440 --> 0:17:01.000 was an athlete, to a size ten due to having 0:17:01.040 --> 0:17:03.880 an actual eating disorder, which I open up about in Feelers, 0:17:04.480 --> 0:17:07.000 which came again due to my mental health and I 0:17:07.040 --> 0:17:09.000 didn't even know I had it for a very long time. 0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:12.719 So but regardless of that, I am a big believer 0:17:13.080 --> 0:17:17.040 in not judging people and just being kind. And I 0:17:17.160 --> 0:17:20.960 am just a big advocate of being incredibly kind to 0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:23.680 one another. I think sometimes I feel like we've lost 0:17:23.720 --> 0:17:25.879 a little bit of that, especially through social media. 0:17:26.040 --> 0:17:28.760 It sounds so simple, it sounds like, of course we 0:17:28.800 --> 0:17:30.040 should all be like that, but we're not. 0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:32.600 No, especially I think social media at a little bit 0:17:32.680 --> 0:17:33.280 because it's. 0:17:33.200 --> 0:17:35.320 So high behind your keyboard exactly to. 0:17:35.400 --> 0:17:38.359 Just write something on a keyboard to someone you don't know, 0:17:39.080 --> 0:17:42.240 and then it's taken a turn where people are just vile. 0:17:42.480 --> 0:17:44.359 So what have you when you've called someone out? What 0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:44.880 have you done? 0:17:45.240 --> 0:17:47.440 Give you an example of where you've called because I 0:17:47.520 --> 0:17:50.520 love that you've done that, because these people don't they 0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:53.240 don't think. I mean, I think some people are just 0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:56.280 complete assholes. I think other people do it without a 0:17:56.359 --> 0:17:59.560 lot of thought. Yeah, I've you're a real person and 0:18:00.240 --> 0:18:02.879 impact this might be having on you. And imagine if 0:18:02.920 --> 0:18:05.879 they said that to someone that they know or care about, 0:18:06.040 --> 0:18:07.200 how horrendous that would be. 0:18:07.400 --> 0:18:09.200 You know, Like, what do you do when you call 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:09.720 someone out? 0:18:09.760 --> 0:18:09.920 Yeah? 0:18:09.920 --> 0:18:11.920 So I've called it out for body shaming, not just 0:18:12.000 --> 0:18:15.040 for me but for others, because I really genuinely believe 0:18:15.160 --> 0:18:19.080 that that shouldn't be a measure. So I really think, 0:18:19.320 --> 0:18:21.400 you know, I've done a lot of things since even 0:18:21.440 --> 0:18:23.800 retiring from tennis to twenty nine, which is quite early 0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:29.000 for an athlete because of injuries forty. So I worked 0:18:29.040 --> 0:18:31.480 for quite a few years to reinvent myself and you 0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:35.320 know what's next. And I did struggle after tennis because 0:18:35.359 --> 0:18:38.119 I felt like that was my whole identity. So to 0:18:38.240 --> 0:18:39.920 then be able to go and you know, have two 0:18:39.960 --> 0:18:42.600 best selling books, be a commentator and an analyst, to 0:18:42.680 --> 0:18:47.240 be a speaker, and then you kind of get judged 0:18:47.400 --> 0:18:52.200 on your size and your measurements, and for some comments 0:18:52.240 --> 0:18:54.600 to even say, oh, look, she's a great commentator, but 0:18:54.680 --> 0:18:57.200 I can't listen to her knowing that she's a size eighteen, 0:18:57.600 --> 0:19:01.000 so I think that says that all. Yeah, so I 0:19:01.160 --> 0:19:03.840 felt like, oh my god, where's the kindness gone? So 0:19:03.960 --> 0:19:05.760 that's why I've called it out. I did it this year, 0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:08.119 and I really felt like this year people started to 0:19:08.600 --> 0:19:11.480 really go, Okay, enough is enough to just in general 0:19:11.640 --> 0:19:15.520 troll people, not just based on body size, just in general, 0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:18.720 because I've had people that are size zero and that 0:19:18.880 --> 0:19:22.159 struggle also maybe with inorexia and Bilima. Thank you for 0:19:22.280 --> 0:19:25.119 doing this. It's not just for people that are size eighteen, 0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:30.560 but it's for everyone in general exactly. And I've actually 0:19:30.640 --> 0:19:34.360 answered back to some people going, look, they weren't so bad, 0:19:34.440 --> 0:19:36.359 but they were a little bit abusive, And I said, look, 0:19:36.400 --> 0:19:39.200 do you realize what you've just written? What if you 0:19:39.359 --> 0:19:42.320 got a message like that, or your sister or your 0:19:42.400 --> 0:19:47.960 mom or your daughter for example. Do you think I've 0:19:48.000 --> 0:19:51.920 had a couple where they go, oh my god, I 0:19:51.960 --> 0:19:55.080 am sorry, I was, you know, I apologize. And then 0:19:55.200 --> 0:19:57.399 you have some others that are just like you know, 0:19:57.560 --> 0:20:00.360 and you just you know. And I don't get into 0:20:00.400 --> 0:20:02.640 it too much, but I think it's important to talk 0:20:02.680 --> 0:20:05.640 about it openly and publicly because I think with social media, 0:20:05.640 --> 0:20:08.000 a lot of people say, oh, don't worry about it, 0:20:08.240 --> 0:20:11.000