Speaker 1: Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands
Speaker 1: were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders
Speaker 1: past and present.
Speaker 2: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
Speaker 2: recorded on d rug Wallamuta Land. Hi guys, and welcome
Speaker 2: back to another episode of Life on Cut. I'm Laura,
Speaker 2: I'm Brittany, and this is ours gun cut. It is
Speaker 2: our Thursday little therapy session. But we answer you're dack,
Speaker 2: you dark, you're be any questions, Hi, Brittany.
Speaker 1: Funny is it that we've turned up in the exact
Speaker 1: same thing?
Speaker 2: Okay? But not only do we show up in the
Speaker 2: exact same thing, It's not like we're wearing like the
Speaker 2: black or neutral. We've rocked up looking like we're out
Speaker 2: a baby boy birthday reveal, No birthday reveal, birth reveal. Well,
Speaker 2: it's gender revealed. It's powdered blue.
Speaker 1: It's like a powder blue baby blue top and the
Speaker 1: exact same denim.
Speaker 2: We've got, exact same hair. I think that this just
Speaker 2: means we spend too much time together all the things
Speaker 2: we could have worn, of all the very minimal colorful
Speaker 2: things that we have in both of our wardrobe so
Speaker 2: I'm usually very nude.
Speaker 1: Yeah you are, Like I'm not, as in naked, always
Speaker 1: naked and naked.
Speaker 2: She's always here with no clothes on. No, but I'm
Speaker 2: very neutral. Yeah, I'm very black.
Speaker 1: And we've turned up in the exact same thing and
Speaker 1: we just did Okay, we just did an amazing interview
Speaker 1: with Matthew Hussey. And the first thing as we walked
Speaker 1: in like he's been on the list for so long,
Speaker 1: it's dropping next week.
Speaker 2: We're very excited. He's an absolute legend.
Speaker 1: But Laura and I walked into each other and we're like,
Speaker 1: this is so embarrassing, and it looks like we've turned
Speaker 1: up for the interview in uniform, Like.
Speaker 2: We have a lifelin cut uniform. We've got a pink backdrop,
Speaker 2: we've got a baby blue top. The first thing we
Speaker 2: said to him was like, just so you know, like
Speaker 2: this isn't a uniform, which, to be fair, he did
Speaker 2: not care. We did care, but we did were like
Speaker 2: this was our big shot.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 2: Anyway, Yeah, we just spent too much time together and
Speaker 2: we're turning into the same person. And soon I am
Speaker 2: also going to start laughing like a kooker bar.
Speaker 1: Oh please don't do that. But so funny you say that.
Speaker 1: I've been getting a lot of messages lately. I don't
Speaker 1: know if it's just that it's the podcast has been
Speaker 1: going for nearly four years, so I don't know if
Speaker 1: it's timing thing, But so many people have been writing
Speaker 1: to me saying that they have somehow started laughing like me,
Speaker 1: like they're good. They've picked up the line I'm here
Speaker 1: for this is good. Spread it around like the seed
Speaker 1: it is. You can avoid picking this up. Do it?
Speaker 2: Do it? Because there is no antidote. There's no treatment
Speaker 2: for this. There's no cream it's going to help you.
Speaker 1: There is no treatment, there is no clinic you can
Speaker 1: go to to detox.
Speaker 2: This stays with you forever. Can I just say when
Speaker 2: I say your cuook a burro, laugh before anybody slides
Speaker 2: into my DMS and tells me how many I am
Speaker 2: to you. It's an in joke. It's because somebody once
Speaker 2: wrote a review saying that brit sounds like a cooko
Speaker 2: bar and now we all giggle about it together. Also,
Speaker 2: a coook a barro is a very treasured national animal,
Speaker 2: isn't it. It's also I'll tell you a hot tip,
Speaker 2: you guys, can have this one for free. It is
Speaker 2: the world's biggest kingfisher, is it? That's good? Thank you
Speaker 2: for bringing that.
Speaker 1: Lad.
Speaker 2: You're welcome. I know you come here to have your
Speaker 2: questions answered, and let me tell you I know some
Speaker 2: stupid fats. Okay, David Ibro, what else have you got? Ma?
Speaker 2: Justic cuok a bar? Do you know? Lies over? What's
Speaker 2: the only animal?
Speaker 1: Just while we're on animal facts, what's the only animal
Speaker 1: with four legs that can't jump?
Speaker 2: No, that's not the fact. A wombat? No, that's not it.
Speaker 4: Good.
Speaker 2: What's the only animal? Also?
Speaker 1: Good?
Speaker 2: No, I've got it. I've got it, bra. What's the
Speaker 2: only animal with four knee caps? With four knee cabs? Yeah,
Speaker 2: four knee cabs.
Speaker 1: I think it also can't jump. It could be the
Speaker 1: same fact I'm thinking.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the only animal with four knee caps an elephant?
Speaker 2: Damn it? Wow, I really am You know. I was
Speaker 2: super into biology as a kid. Like with fourneecaps, jumping
Speaker 2: is in about biology? Yeah? Animals is biology?
Speaker 1: Brou you learn about an elephants neecaps in biology at school?
Speaker 2: I would love to have been a biology at university. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that was the thing.
Speaker 1: So you learned about elephants at university, and then you
Speaker 1: went on to work at the hearing company, okay, and
Speaker 1: then I.
Speaker 2: Became a jewelry designer and now I talk about fucking
Speaker 2: sex and missionary for a living. Yeah, that is so
Speaker 2: only missionary though, I don't talk about the other sex
Speaker 2: only She she.
Speaker 1: Just had to show us her sex position, favorite sex
Speaker 1: position was, which is the loadus?
Speaker 2: Can we? Okay? The reason why Keisha had to show
Speaker 2: us her favorite sex position, which was the loadus, is
Speaker 2: because we did this interview with Matthew Hussey. It was
Speaker 2: a great interview. We had to do it by riverside,
Speaker 2: which is kind of like Zoom but for podcasts. We
Speaker 2: did it on BRIT's computer and I took a photo
Speaker 2: of the screen, and it was only after take a
Speaker 2: photo of Matthew. And it was only after taking a
Speaker 2: photo of the screen that I realized not only did
Speaker 2: Britt have a tab open, it was bookmarked as like
Speaker 2: a saved important website Butterfly sex positions, and that was
Speaker 2: like the main bookedmark website that Britt has on her chrome.
Speaker 2: Explain yourself, Well, I would.
Speaker 1: Just like to know what the problem is, She said,
Speaker 1: my sex position, it's not like I'm having much sex.
Speaker 2: You're like, I'm going I'm going to see them very shortly.
Speaker 2: I need to know exactly how to do this one.
Speaker 1: It was definitely podcast material for sure.
Speaker 2: Live show live show research.
Speaker 1: Would have been live show research. And I to be honest,
Speaker 1: I'm not that great with technology. I don't think they
Speaker 1: even know how to bookmark something well. And that's why
Speaker 1: it's been there since last September.
Speaker 2: Because now I don't know how to get written. I
Speaker 2: think you just exit out. But Ben will love that.
Speaker 2: Ben'll love that. He thinks I'm here researching sex positions?
Speaker 2: Can you can you tell us how the butterfly sex
Speaker 2: position goes after you try it with Ben? Well, no,
Speaker 2: I'm not doing it. I no, you only right. You
Speaker 2: only have one hundred and eighty degree movement from one
Speaker 2: side to the back to the other. My range of motion,
Speaker 2: my range of movement is limited. That's what happens in
Speaker 2: old age guys. Okay, I will let you know how
Speaker 2: the butterfly sex position goes. Thank you film it, send
Speaker 2: it only fans. Okay, fine, La, maybe do it? No
Speaker 2: sign up now? Well, one thing we didn't talk about
Speaker 2: on Tuesday's episode because you know, we kind of got
Speaker 2: lost and talked about everything and then you know, it
Speaker 2: was a very deep episode, but also we covered up
Speaker 2: a lot of some strange mix of things at the
Speaker 2: beginning of it.
Speaker 1: I mean, we do do that. We did just get
Speaker 1: into elephant territory.
Speaker 2: But one thing I wanted to bring up that you
Speaker 2: were working on. If you followed BRIT's Instagram over the weekend,
Speaker 2: she was in the Gold Coast or Brisbane, and I
Speaker 2: think a lot of people were confused as to why
Speaker 2: you were in a wedding dress, crying with a bottle
Speaker 2: of wine and marrying Mitch Churi And I feel like
Speaker 2: people need to know what happened.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, So if you form my Instagram, you'll see
Speaker 1: that I was in a wedding dress, drunk, crying straw
Speaker 1: on my Instagram on the weekend with Mitch.
Speaker 2: It may come as no surprise that Britt did not
Speaker 2: marry Mitch. It may come a surprise.
Speaker 1: Mitch and I were filming a TV pilot, a rom com,
Speaker 1: but I can't I'll tell you about that in a second.
Speaker 2: But so many people I shouldn't say so many.
Speaker 1: There were a handful of people that had message saying
Speaker 1: I'm so confused.
Speaker 2: I thought you had a boyfriend.
Speaker 1: I thought Mitch was gay, like people that thought that
Speaker 1: we were getting married, and I.
Speaker 2: Was like, how did you miss? How did you actually
Speaker 2: think I just got married? Do you think that I'm crying?
Speaker 2: This is much of a scar? Like is this an
Speaker 2: arranged marriage? They've been forced into? Like I don't want
Speaker 2: to marry Mitch, but like all my options are gone
Speaker 2: now and here we are just doing it. Like what
Speaker 2: about that photo shoot? Did anybody think that it could
Speaker 2: possibly be real? That one person? Yeah, that got confused.
Speaker 1: It was the funniest part for sure, but no, so
Speaker 1: I mean just quickly, Yeah, we're filming a TV pilot.
Speaker 2: It's a I guess it's a.
Speaker 1: Bit Hangovery vibes that vibe but romcom but very modern
Speaker 1: day Mitch. A lot of people don't know Mitch is
Speaker 1: an actor. Mitch went to acting school in New York,
Speaker 1: well before radio.
Speaker 2: He also can sing operatic and see like here the
Speaker 2: guy is like a full triple threat.
Speaker 1: He's multi talented. Probably can't tap dance, but would give
Speaker 1: it a try. I reckon you he probably could, so
Speaker 1: he's done that. He did the all through his twenties
Speaker 1: and I was just saying before, well before the Bachelor,
Speaker 1: well before the podcast, I was at acting school all
Speaker 1: around the world, over in Scotland, Nia, here in Australia.
Speaker 1: Screen Wise, we both did a lot, but we just
Speaker 1: fell into different industries. We never really did anything with it,
Speaker 1: but we always had this passion for wanting to entertain
Speaker 1: and there's something amazing about being on a set and
Speaker 1: being someone different.
Speaker 2: And I don't know if that was escaped.
Speaker 1: Yes, I don't know if that was like a trauma reaction,
Speaker 1: like I'm trying to run away from my life.
Speaker 2: It's true.
Speaker 1: I enrolled acting Score off the back of my horrid
Speaker 1: breakup with the sociopath, and it really was. Someone had
Speaker 1: suggested it, someone had said, give it a go, it's
Speaker 1: an outlet, and it was and I absolutely fell in
Speaker 1: love with it. So then Mitch and I met a
Speaker 1: couple of years ago, obviously, and we just get along
Speaker 1: like a house on fire. He's one of the funniest
Speaker 1: people I've ever met, and we've yeah, we've gotten to
Speaker 1: a position where we're creating something that we were having
Speaker 1: a lot of fun doing. We think it's great, We're
Speaker 1: having an amazing time and we have high hopes it's
Speaker 1: a pilot. So the idea of a pilot is, you know,
Speaker 1: there's pilot season in different countries around the world where
Speaker 1: people literally take these ideas and they pitch it. Every
Speaker 1: show you've ever seen, Friends, the bigges shows in the world,
Speaker 1: they all have a pilot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it's Chantene do it. They do pilot
Speaker 2: Week in Australia or the free to air networks do it.
Speaker 2: So like you create all like different production companies create
Speaker 2: a pilot and then they will air that pilot on
Speaker 2: pilot Week and a couple of them get picked up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so Mitch and I we have so much
Speaker 1: chemistry and we love each other and we have a
Speaker 1: lot of fun in real life, so we felt like
Speaker 1: it was perfect to take that onto the screen and
Speaker 1: see if we can recreate it. So fingers we can
Speaker 1: recreate it, and thing as cross it ends up somewhere.
Speaker 2: I am super excited to see it. I cannot wait.
Speaker 2: I can't wait to get you know, a premiere screening
Speaker 2: of the first episode. No, we have been talking about
Speaker 2: this pilot for literally a year and a half. So
Speaker 2: if you withhold this from me, I'll be so mad,
Speaker 2: you know, what's funny? And I used toel like this
Speaker 2: with the podcast.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you were ever like this, But
Speaker 1: when I do something, I don't actually want anyone I
Speaker 1: know to see it.
Speaker 2: Are you like that?
Speaker 1: So when I acted in the past or at the
Speaker 1: start of the podcast, I didn't want anyone I know
Speaker 1: to listen or anyone I know to watch it.
Speaker 2: But I want other people to. It's so weird. I
Speaker 2: will never watch myself and be like, great, I can't
Speaker 2: wait to show people. Never.
Speaker 1: I will never, ever, ever, ever ever do that. In fact,
Speaker 1: i'd probably make it to Hold. Probably if I made
Speaker 1: it to Hollywood day, I.
Speaker 2: Will probably make it. Do you know what? I'm making
Speaker 2: it to Hollywood? Want anyone to watch my movies?
Speaker 1: What I was going to say is no, because I've
Speaker 1: heard a lot of people in Hollywood, a lot of
Speaker 1: actors will say they won't watch their own movie. I
Speaker 1: reckon I would be that person. Even if I was
Speaker 1: the biggest actor in the world.
Speaker 2: I don't think i'd ever watch it. I hate looking
Speaker 2: at myself on screen. It's so weird. I hate listening
Speaker 2: to myself. Dude, do you ever listen to our podcast?
Speaker 1: Back?
Speaker 2: I wish you did, of course I listened to the
Speaker 2: episodes back.
Speaker 1: Sometimes this sounds like a weit first, but sometimes like
Speaker 1: I'll hear us and I'll laugh like it's not even us.
Speaker 1: I'll be like, these chicks are whack, That's what I'll think,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, hang on, now that was me.
Speaker 2: Like I would definitely not be friends with them. But
Speaker 2: moving right along, there's something I did want to talk
Speaker 2: about today.
Speaker 1: This is a new word that I discovered, a dating terminology,
Speaker 1: not a sex position. Not well, I don't even want
Speaker 1: to put it in dating terminology because it's it's gross.
Speaker 2: But it is. I mean, it is a new dating
Speaker 2: terminology and it's something to be very wary of. Yeah,
Speaker 2: look it's the term. I've read it.
Speaker 1: It's come up online, it's come up on read, it's
Speaker 1: come up on the news. It's not a good thing.
Speaker 1: It's called chad fishing. Chad is in my first ever
Speaker 1: person I kissed when I was eleven, his name was
Speaker 1: chad fishing, as in the sport you do when you
Speaker 1: catch fish, chad fishing.
Speaker 2: Chad fishing not to be confused with catfishing. No similar
Speaker 2: as a starting point, but very different. I know that
Speaker 2: you well it's not actually that differ and it's catfishing.
Speaker 1: On steroids, that's what it is. It is similar to
Speaker 1: cat fishing, but it involves men from the in cell
Speaker 1: I n CEO. Now, I actually didn't know what that
Speaker 1: was either, involuntary celibate.
Speaker 2: So now these are like people who it's kind of
Speaker 2: like they like they would like to be having sex,
Speaker 2: but no one's having sex with them, so they're whatever because,
Speaker 2: like I guess, ultimately they are not as desirable, these
Speaker 2: kind of in cell groups that exist. It's like generally
Speaker 2: men that have come together who are very very misogynistic,
Speaker 2: who hate on women because they feel like women have
Speaker 2: withheld sex from them. Yeah, and it's like this angry
Speaker 2: little peatrie dish of the most toxic masculinity that's ever existed.
Speaker 2: And they're called in cels.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and maybe they're involuntarily celibate too because of the
Speaker 1: way they treat people. Maybe it's their personality, it could
Speaker 1: be their looks, it could be a whole lot of things.
Speaker 2: But they are not getting the sex they want. But
Speaker 2: instead of them internalizing that and being like, Okay, well
Speaker 2: what am I bringing to the table and how am
Speaker 2: I not being? You know, necessarily somebody that a woman
Speaker 2: would or a person wouldn't want to have sex with.
Speaker 2: They internalize that as like, well, there's nothing wrong with me,
Speaker 2: and women are fucked and they will only date hot
Speaker 2: men and they only want to have sex with good
Speaker 2: looking guys, and it's kind of creates this incredibly toxic
Speaker 2: environment where they're not self reflective, they're blaming women, and
Speaker 2: that's where the misogyny aspect of this comes in.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So these in cell communities, because they are communities online,
Speaker 1: they set up fake online dating profiles and they pose
Speaker 1: as a chad. Now a chad is a conventionally attractive male,
Speaker 1: very cliche sexy friend my experience, No, but they look
Speaker 1: like a model, they look beautiful, very mainstream people, and
Speaker 1: they set up these fake profiles off these chads in
Speaker 1: order to pray on women.
Speaker 2: That is it in a nutshell. But when we say
Speaker 2: prey on women, I guess, like the thing that makes
Speaker 2: this different from catfishing and makes chad fishing more insidious,
Speaker 2: I guess, not necessarily more insidious, but like it takes
Speaker 2: it into the physical world is that these people the
Speaker 2: whole purpose that they've intentionally set this up is because
Speaker 2: they will organize dates. They will create and set a time,
Speaker 2: set a place, and the female who's being led on
Speaker 2: will rock up to this date and time. And it's
Speaker 2: like these chadfishers get off on setting up dates and
Speaker 2: then intentionally standing up a woman who they see as
Speaker 2: being below them.
Speaker 1: Well, it's come to light now, It's resurfaced now because
Speaker 1: this one Australian guy has written in a forum and
Speaker 1: he's basically shared a step by step guide on how
Speaker 1: he chadfishes women. So he pretty much is encouraging other
Speaker 1: people to do this. He's written about how he did it,
Speaker 1: what he did, He's put screenshots on it's super gross
Speaker 1: and then there are so many other gross people commenting
Speaker 1: on it seeing how funny it is. He loves to
Speaker 1: share the screenshots of their reactions. He loves to humiliate them.
Speaker 1: And he's not alone. And now this is the fucking
Speaker 1: cooked thing. There are so many communities with people all
Speaker 1: over the world that engage in this. These are some
Speaker 1: of the things he wrote. My hobby is chadfishing hawes.
Speaker 1: I arrange dates and stand them up at bars. It's
Speaker 1: fun to deflate their ego and make them waste money
Speaker 1: on ubers. Fuel and parking. And the way he does
Speaker 1: it is he explained that he sets up a fake
Speaker 1: Tinder account by stealing photos he actually stole. I just
Speaker 1: showed Laura bilties. He was quite good looking, look like
Speaker 1: a little farmer. But he stole quite a well known
Speaker 1: American social media guy, Brett Maverick's account. And the reason
Speaker 1: that this is going to the next level is because
Speaker 1: if you guys are online dating, you'll know that you
Speaker 1: have to verify your photo, which is amazing because I'm
Speaker 1: saying this really is this person?
Speaker 2: I really am me, I'm not a fake. His profile
Speaker 2: was verified. Yeah, he's gone to the additional lengths of
Speaker 2: not only just creating a fake profile, but going through
Speaker 2: the processes of tricking basically the AI system into thinking
Speaker 2: that the photo that he's provided is real. I don't
Speaker 2: know if you know this, but like, if you need
Speaker 2: to verify your profile, Facebook's or instagram sends you kind
Speaker 2: of like an action that you need to do, so
Speaker 2: you need to send them back a photo with your
Speaker 2: arms in a certain position to prove that it's you,
Speaker 2: because you know, if it's not you, how are you
Speaker 2: going to send a picture with your face and your
Speaker 2: arms in a certain way. So what he did is
Speaker 2: he got the photo of the guy, he then photoshopped
Speaker 2: the arms in a certain way, and then took a
Speaker 2: photo of the screen so that way that the photo
Speaker 2: that he was submitting for verification didn't have any of
Speaker 2: the metadata that would have been captured if it was
Speaker 2: a photoshopped image. So he really went entirely out of
Speaker 2: his way to try and deceive not only the women,
Speaker 2: but also deceive Facebook and Instagram to get his profile verified.
Speaker 1: This is one of the screenshots I want to show you.
Speaker 1: Back and forth setting up a date with the girl.
Speaker 1: He's posted the girl's photo, she's twenty seven, back and
Speaker 1: forth about meeting up for a date. They organized where
Speaker 1: they're going, sounds great, see there, And then there's messages
Speaker 1: when they're on their way, just so you know, I'm
Speaker 1: leaving soon, you know, just to it's like that almost confirmation,
Speaker 1: like you've set your date up, you're on the way
Speaker 1: to bi like, hey, I'm leaving soon. Hey I'm heading
Speaker 1: out to Then some time goes past and she's obviously
Speaker 1: at the bar. How far away are you? I'm here,
Speaker 1: where are you? And then he says, oh, I left,
Speaker 1: Like so he makes her wait half an hour and
Speaker 1: then he says I left, and she's she's like, huh
Speaker 1: he goesh I met another chain instead, She's like, what,
Speaker 1: you're so rude? He it's not my problem.
Speaker 2: The purpose of this is to make women feel as
Speaker 2: bad as they possibly could feel.
Speaker 1: They make them wait at a restaurant alone, which is
Speaker 1: always awkward when that moment where you're like everyone's looking
Speaker 1: at me, like I'm on my own?
Speaker 2: Are they going to come?
Speaker 1: Then they want to embarrass them and make them feel
Speaker 1: ashit as they can, like I've gone home with someone else.
Speaker 1: Some of these texts go on to literally the guy
Speaker 1: has then gotten a photo of a woman. There's one
Speaker 1: that I saw where there is a woman bent over.
Speaker 1: He's obviously taken as off her behind as of a butt.
Speaker 1: He's obviously just taking it from the internet or who knows,
Speaker 1: maybe it is his.
Speaker 2: I don't know, na. I mean, the whole thing is
Speaker 2: that he's unintentionally celibate.
Speaker 1: He ain't getting a butt, that's true, it's from porn
Speaker 1: half or something. But he sends this photo. He'll literally
Speaker 1: say the women are like where are you? And he
Speaker 1: sends the photo back and say I met someone hotter.
Speaker 1: I've gone home to tap it kind of thing. Like
Speaker 1: the dumb thing is is like that would not make
Speaker 1: me feel it. I would be like, you are a
Speaker 1: fucking loser if some dude send me that. Whereas the
Speaker 1: other ones that I saw, which were like I walked in,
Speaker 1: I saw you sitting there and thought you were ugly,
Speaker 1: so I walked out Like that is so much crueler
Speaker 1: those ones. I mean, there's been there's so many versions
Speaker 1: of what these chadfishers do. And I guess the reason
Speaker 1: why we want to talk about it was because we
Speaker 1: were like, never in my mind did it occur to
Speaker 1: me that somebody would intentionally go out of their way
Speaker 1: to try and set up a fake day to stand
Speaker 1: someone up, to intentionally hurt them purely because they hate women.
Speaker 2: And these people actually exist.
Speaker 1: Yes, but it's not just the hurting. This is the
Speaker 1: thing they go to the extent of saying, like, you know,
Speaker 1: where do you live in a city?
Speaker 2: So I'm just going to do Sydney because I know it.
Speaker 1: They say where do you live and they'll say I
Speaker 1: live in BONDI where do you live? And they'll pretend
Speaker 1: they live so far away, an hour away, So they'll say, hey,
Speaker 1: why don't we meet in the middle. Then they'll encourage
Speaker 1: them to I can't wait to have a drink with you.
Speaker 1: Let's have wine. They'll encourage them to get the uber
Speaker 1: because they want them to spend one hundred dollars on
Speaker 1: an uber to waste their money, because that's part of it.
Speaker 1: They then go on and say, haha, she spend one
Speaker 1: hundred dollars on an uber as well. Then I saw
Speaker 1: her up. Then I embarrassed her. It's crazy to me
Speaker 1: that it's happening, and it's scary now that it's verified.
Speaker 1: So that used to be what you could look at
Speaker 1: on a dating profile. So oh, I feel relatively safe,
Speaker 1: but I know, like produced Kisher and I when I
Speaker 1: was single last year, we used to always, you know,
Speaker 1: show each other who were talking to or who were dating.
Speaker 1: We used to constantly have these conversations and I remember
Speaker 1: this one particular one that stands out in my head.
Speaker 1: It was me that was talking to this person and
Speaker 1: I said, he's not real, he's not real. Case She's like,
Speaker 1: yess he is, look at him and I was like,
Speaker 1: I guarantee you he is not real. And turns out
Speaker 1: he wasn't we ended up calling him out saying, send
Speaker 1: us an actual photo.
Speaker 2: Now he wouldn't give us any Instagram.
Speaker 1: But I guess I want to say a few things
Speaker 1: that I have worked out because I've been on online
Speaker 1: dating for like ten years and I've had friends that
Speaker 1: have been severely catfished. I luckily have not, But I
Speaker 1: can tell some things now to look out for. One
Speaker 1: of them is it's a big sign. It's not the
Speaker 1: end of the world. But if someone doesn't want to.
Speaker 2: Give you their Instagram or share their Instagram.
Speaker 1: Or they haven't linked it and you've been talking for
Speaker 1: a little while, or they say they don't have one,
Speaker 1: it's pretty rare these days to be in our generation
Speaker 1: and our age, not even our generation even like our
Speaker 1: parents and things have Instagram and stuff. Now, if someone's
Speaker 1: really weirdly hiding their Instagram or it's not linked, it
Speaker 1: can be a red flag. Another thing is if their
Speaker 1: photos look like they've been cropped in a weird way.
Speaker 1: So maybe they look like they've been cropped in or
Speaker 1: there's not a lot of headroom, or that's a really
Speaker 1: big sign that the photo has been stolen. The reason
Speaker 1: they do it, the reason they crop these photos and
Speaker 1: We did speak about this on the Catfishing episode with Neve.
Speaker 1: The reason people crop a photo is because you can't
Speaker 1: reverse image search a photo when the dimensions have been changed,
Speaker 1: so they'll steal photos. They change, they resize them and
Speaker 1: change them and then they upload them.
Speaker 2: I realize that.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Also, I think, like, just get someone to send a verification.
Speaker 2: Be like, hey, in the next ten minutes, you need
Speaker 2: to send me a photo of you with your middle
Speaker 2: finger pointed up to the sky. If they're not going
Speaker 2: to send you their Instagram and you're going to pay
Speaker 2: one hundred bucks for an uber somewhere, you need to
Speaker 2: get proof of life. Baby, you get that finger photo.
Speaker 2: You get that finger photo. But I also think, I mean,
Speaker 2: for me, the reason why I thought this was so
Speaker 2: interesting is because for anybody out there who's ever stood up.
Speaker 2: And I'm not saying that every single person is a
Speaker 2: Chadfisher who's been stood up, but like, isn't it nice
Speaker 2: to kind of reflect and go, you know what, it's
Speaker 2: not me, it's you. There's a very good chance that
Speaker 2: if somebody walked into a bar and mean, unless you're
Speaker 2: a dating profile, is completely not photos of you and
Speaker 2: you look one hundred percent different. It's very unlikely that
Speaker 2: somebody has shown up for a date and turned around
Speaker 2: and said, you know, oh you're not hot enough, and
Speaker 2: then sent a message like most people are not that cruel,
Speaker 2: and people who are that cruel usually have a whole
Speaker 2: lot of other issues that are going along with them.
Speaker 2: And I think that that's a reflection of the person
Speaker 2: who is on the other end of it, not the
Speaker 2: person who's been stood up. And sometimes we can take
Speaker 2: that as like we're not good enough. We carry that
Speaker 2: as though it's an insult that we should feel ashamed
Speaker 2: or embarrassed about, but it truly is the person who
Speaker 2: does the standing up.
Speaker 1: And in this day and age, your safety is paramount
Speaker 1: because there's so much shit out there. Don't be embarrassed
Speaker 1: to ask for a proof of who somebody is. A
Speaker 1: FaceTime before I met Ben, we facetimed I was not
Speaker 1: to go and meet some ritten guy. We literally jumped
Speaker 1: on the phone and had to chat. What you said, Laura,
Speaker 1: send me a photo right now?
Speaker 2: What are you doing it?
Speaker 1: Verify someone if you're gonna go somewhere and meet someone,
Speaker 1: if you're gonna go for one night stand, if you're
Speaker 1: gonna do anything. It doesn't hurt to send one photo.
Speaker 1: If they're that interested and they're real, they're gonna send
Speaker 1: the photo back. They probably want to know that you're
Speaker 1: real too.
Speaker 2: Totally. And I think if anybody ever is like no,
Speaker 2: I can't, or there's excuses, or they're not able, and
Speaker 2: what you're asking for is a really reasonable request, it's
Speaker 2: an insult, then he's a fucking insout, like yes, or
Speaker 2: he's or there's someone who is lying to you, or
Speaker 2: they're in a relationship, or there's a reason.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: Sometimes we can get caught up in the idea of
Speaker 2: like how hot you know their profile is, and you've
Speaker 2: gotten already imagined like a little date and what your
Speaker 2: life's going to be like, but you just got married
Speaker 2: in your hand. Yeah, don't get caught up in like
Speaker 2: the potential of somebody's dating profile if they're not proving
Speaker 2: to you kind of that they're real. I think it's
Speaker 2: so important totally. One of the reasons why we wanted
Speaker 2: to speak about this is because, I mean, we've been
Speaker 2: seeing it more and more in the media, but we
Speaker 2: also have had so many of our life as over
Speaker 2: the years rid in about being stood up and one
Speaker 2: of them recently. One of our life is. Her name's Jacinta.
Speaker 2: She sent this into us.
Speaker 4: Hey, so here I am.
Speaker 5: I was meant to be meeting this guy for a
Speaker 5: date at six point thirty at this restaurant and I'm
Speaker 5: here currently it's raining and guess.
Speaker 4: What, the restaurant's closed. And interestingly, he seemed super keen.
Speaker 4: But then he deleted his profile last night and I
Speaker 4: wasn't quite sure. I thought, look, I'll still turn up
Speaker 4: because he seemed really keen.
Speaker 3: And I thought that at thirty seven that this stuff
Speaker 3: will be done, but apparently not. I'm more annoyed because
Speaker 3: I got my lip and eyebrows waxed. That was probably
Speaker 3: the most irritating thing. Anyway, I'm going to head home
Speaker 3: and married at first sight.
Speaker 2: If you were somebody who has experienced something similar, if
Speaker 2: you're somebody who has been stood up on a date,
Speaker 2: I mean I would love we slide into the DMS.
Speaker 2: Tell us like your version of a story of what happened,
Speaker 2: because I do think that it's something that happens pretty frequently,
Speaker 2: and I think that there is a level of embarrassment
Speaker 2: around it, and people don't want to share those stories
Speaker 2: because they think well, it's a reflection that they're not
Speaker 2: good enough. Have you ever been stood up on a date?
Speaker 2: I actually haven't. No, I have been stood at once, really,
Speaker 2: and we all know it wasn't me, it was him, honestly, No,
Speaker 2: but I did. I got stood up. I gotoo up
Speaker 2: at a bar. I waited at a bar for an
Speaker 2: online day pass. Yeah, just didn't reply, just completely fucking
Speaker 2: ghosted me. Nothing.
Speaker 1: Do you think he turned up changed his mind or
Speaker 1: do you think he was a chad fish? Or do
Speaker 1: you think what do you think it was?
Speaker 2: I mean, potentially I could sit here and try and
Speaker 2: question maybe he thought I wasn't hot enough when he
Speaker 2: got there. That could happened, But who fucking knows, never
Speaker 2: heard from him again, knows Like, yeah, I was at
Speaker 2: Do you remember the bucket list in BONDI yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I waited. It was there like a month ago. No,
Speaker 2: it's shut down years ago. I just redid it, Okay,
Speaker 2: So I got to the bucket list on like a
Speaker 2: Sunday afternoon. Also gave him my prime real estate of
Speaker 2: my weekend time, which was so annoying. It was like
Speaker 2: three o'clock I got there. He was like, I'm on
Speaker 2: my way, I ordered a drink, I sat down, and
Speaker 2: then nothing just he was he was on his way. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we were texting up until and then he I don't
Speaker 2: think he was ever coming. I think it was a
Speaker 2: fake Chadfish. I think I was Chadfish. My god, you
Speaker 2: started the chatfish. You didn't even know it. You're a pioneer,
Speaker 2: and I I remember being really upset at the time,
Speaker 2: like I was in my kind of like what I
Speaker 2: would have been like twenty nine. I think I was,
Speaker 2: so I don't think from memory that I thought he came.
Speaker 2: I was like, Oh, this was just this was just
Speaker 2: a guy being an asshole. Totally.
Speaker 1: I have had last minute cancelations where this is like
Speaker 1: this is different, but you just made me think about it.
Speaker 1: When you're like, I gave you my prime time.
Speaker 2: The fucking effort that a girl goes to for a date,
Speaker 2: oh and a so much more than a guy.
Speaker 1: The hair, the makeup, the thinking of the outfit, the
Speaker 1: thinking about the date, the location, the clearing the schedule,
Speaker 1: the shaving, the waxing, the mona.
Speaker 2: Brow of the lip. This is why I think men
Speaker 2: should pay for the first date, purely because of the
Speaker 2: amount of time and energy we have to go to
Speaker 2: to get to that first date. They don't need to
Speaker 2: They just have to put a shirt on and some
Speaker 2: shorts and rock up.
Speaker 1: But I wasn't upset that the date canceled right, like whatever,
Speaker 1: I don't know him. I was like, well, what am
Speaker 1: I going to do now? I can't waste this face
Speaker 1: of makeup. I don't waste his hair, Like, I need
Speaker 1: to go do something now.
Speaker 2: You were fully dressed and ready to walk out the
Speaker 2: door and they canceled out. Yeah, I would have been.
Speaker 1: About half an hour before I reckon, And I was
Speaker 1: just like, fuck you because of the time.
Speaker 2: Not because I liked you that much, but like, there's
Speaker 2: took time. Yeah, I feel like so many people would
Speaker 2: relate to that totally. All right, Well, before we get
Speaker 2: into answering your questions, it is time for vibes. But
Speaker 2: no subscribes because I don't think I'm subscribed. Yeah, no,
Speaker 2: unsubscribed because I don't think either of us have one again.
Speaker 2: But okay, I'm gonna kick it off. I am recommending
Speaker 2: this week. It is basic as it is, the most
Speaker 2: brain numbing nothing, but it's gonna fill you with so
Speaker 2: much joy. Go watch season four of Lover Is Blind.
Speaker 2: I do love Love. You got me onto it because
Speaker 2: I had never really watched the season before and now
Speaker 2: I am fucking so hooked and they just like dump
Speaker 2: enough to like get you addicted and then you have
Speaker 2: to wait. It's very good.
Speaker 1: I still feel like the first season was the best. No,
Speaker 1: you have watched the season f I haven't watched this
Speaker 1: for but the first season was so good because it
Speaker 1: was new. I felt like they were real. I felt like,
Speaker 1: you know, I feel like it's like maps. The first
Speaker 1: season is so good, the Bachelor so good. But then
Speaker 1: it changes over the years because people want it for
Speaker 1: a different things.
Speaker 2: Keisha described it as the sugar in her veins that
Speaker 2: she's no longer getting from her diet. So I feel
Speaker 2: like that that is Jeffy diet. That is the best
Speaker 2: review for absolute trash TV that they could be. It's
Speaker 2: on Netflix. Go and watch it. Love Is Blind season four.
Speaker 2: All right, Well mine this week my vibe is a book.
Speaker 2: It is Jay Shehtty's new book, Eight Rules of Love.
Speaker 2: If you've been following me on Instagram, I've been taking
Speaker 2: his book with them everywhere, to the beach, to the sauna.
Speaker 2: I read a lot in the sauna actually, but it
Speaker 2: gets all sweaty. Yeah, I know, but it's like my
Speaker 2: only time that I sit down and I'm like, what
Speaker 2: are the eight rules of love?
Speaker 1: Britt? Well, then you wouldn't want to read the book
Speaker 1: if I told.
Speaker 2: You, just give me two of them, hook me in
Speaker 2: one of the ones.
Speaker 1: I love is just really about figuring out what you want,
Speaker 1: what are your preferences, so you don't go and waste
Speaker 1: your time on somebody that's not in alignment with you
Speaker 1: or that might not be good for you.
Speaker 2: Because I feel like a lot of us do that.
Speaker 1: We try and sit in something in the hopes that
Speaker 1: it might turn into something that we hope it would be.
Speaker 1: But it's take it at face value. If it's not
Speaker 1: in align with you, it's not what you want, it's
Speaker 1: not what you're looking for.
Speaker 2: But you still try. But sometimes sometimes you get distracted
Speaker 2: by nice abs. Oh my god, heaps of shit. You
Speaker 2: get distracted.
Speaker 1: Ye, But it's like I on the prize team, put
Speaker 1: your blinders on, like the horse racing, look straight ahead,
Speaker 1: don't look out, and keep focused.
Speaker 2: Anyway.
Speaker 1: I love Jay Shetty. I love the book. So that
Speaker 1: is my vibe of this week, all right, let's get
Speaker 1: in to question number one. I've got one that I
Speaker 1: have some mixed feelings about. Actually, I just have some
Speaker 1: bad feelings about it. Here.
Speaker 2: It is my best friend is about to have her
Speaker 2: first child. I am very much child free by choice,
Speaker 2: and she knows this. I think she's being a bit
Speaker 2: naive saying that nothing will change when the baby comes.
Speaker 2: When we do organize drinks or lunch or hang out.
Speaker 2: How can I ask her not to bring the kid.
Speaker 2: I understand sometimes she might have to, but is there
Speaker 2: any nice way to check in and ask if it
Speaker 2: will be just the two of us. I especially don't
Speaker 2: want her to bring it to my house. It's not
Speaker 2: a dog to bring it to my house. Is this
Speaker 2: the end of our close friendship? Probably? Yeah, it's a newborn.
Speaker 2: It's a baby. You guys aren't going to the movies
Speaker 2: on your own. You guys are not going out and
Speaker 2: getting a little city. This is a new one baby
Speaker 2: that literally needs it's mom's didty to survive. Okay. The
Speaker 2: reason why I have conflicting feelings about this is because
Speaker 2: I'm like, look, yes, your friend is being naive to
Speaker 2: think that nothing will change. If she thinks that your
Speaker 2: friendship is going to be exactly the same and nothing
Speaker 2: is going to change, and you guys are still going
Speaker 2: to be doing margaritas on Tuesday night. Then she is naive.
Speaker 2: But when she says nothing is going to change, I
Speaker 2: don't think that that's what she means. I don't think
Speaker 2: she thinks that she's only going to see you baby free.
Speaker 2: I actually think that you've interpreted that the wrong way,
Speaker 2: because you're gonna have to see your friend and she's
Speaker 2: gonna bring this baby. Because when you have a newborn baby,
Speaker 2: it's almost impossible to not have them with you for
Speaker 2: those first x amount of months and weeks and whatever.
Speaker 2: I think, on one hand, like obviously we've had we've
Speaker 2: done interviews on it, we've spoken about loads. It is
Speaker 2: so fine to be child free. It is so fine
Speaker 2: to not like kids. It's so fine to not want
Speaker 2: them in your life. But if the people that you
Speaker 2: love around you have children, then there has to be
Speaker 2: some level of acceptance and some level of compromise if
Speaker 2: you want to maintain that friendship, because this baby is
Speaker 2: going to be a fucking huge part of her life,
Speaker 2: and I don't think that she's going to be able
Speaker 2: to have her friendship with you and have her child
Speaker 2: completely separate, because if you love her and you accept
Speaker 2: her as your friend and you want her in your
Speaker 2: life as well, you're going to have to make some
Speaker 2: allowances that make her feel like you also kind of
Speaker 2: like her kid.
Speaker 1: Well, things do change when your friends have babies. And
Speaker 1: I say this because I obviously don't have children, but
Speaker 1: I probably have only maybe two friends that don't have children,
Speaker 1: like everyone in my life has kids. You make adaptations,
Speaker 1: like you change things, You make exceptions. You don't go
Speaker 1: out and get drunk anymore. You meet for coffee and
Speaker 1: lunch and the baby comes, the baby's going to interrupt
Speaker 1: your conversation. Things are going to have to be canceled.
Speaker 1: They're gonna have to go home early. These are just
Speaker 1: all a part of life. And if you're saying, how
Speaker 1: do you approach the fact that you want to hang
Speaker 1: out with your friend child free, the friendship's not gonna last,
Speaker 1: Like your friend will be wildly offended if you say
Speaker 1: I don't want to hang out with your child free
Speaker 1: when they've just had a baby, a their hormone through
Speaker 1: the roof.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to put myself in their shoes here, because
Speaker 2: I don't know if I said that to you. I
Speaker 2: have friends who are child free, right, I have friends
Speaker 2: who want to be child free.
Speaker 1: Fu.
Speaker 2: I'm like, it actually makes me feel if I knew
Speaker 2: that they never wanted my children at their house because
Speaker 2: they didn't like my kids at all. And I mean,
Speaker 2: I know that some kids are harder than others. I it,
Speaker 2: and I get that not everyone likes everyone's kids. But
Speaker 2: if I felt like my best friend did not like
Speaker 2: my children, didn't want them to be around, and never
Speaker 2: wanted them to be at their house ever, a part
Speaker 2: of me would feel so deeply offended. A part of
Speaker 2: me would be like, wow, like how do you why
Speaker 2: do you hate my kids? And what are you also
Speaker 2: gonna do?
Speaker 1: Like you're gonna be so so just asking, but like,
Speaker 1: is Rosie going to be coming with you today?
Speaker 2: Yes, Rosi is two weeks old. She will be coming
Speaker 2: with me. Are you gonna pay for half the babysitter?
Speaker 2: Like if she has to leave the kid at home
Speaker 2: every time you hang out, does that mean that you're
Speaker 2: gonna help pay for the babysitting of this child.
Speaker 1: It's a little bit ignorant and a little bit naive
Speaker 1: to have that expectation, then that will be a thing
Speaker 1: in your friendship. It's something that you do have to
Speaker 1: accept that life does change when people have kids. Whether
Speaker 1: you want to accept that or not, it is life.
Speaker 1: And I have had friends in the exact same position.
Speaker 1: I have had friends that have said to me like,
Speaker 1: absolutely nothing is going to change, like nothing, I am
Speaker 1: going to be one of those mums where like I
Speaker 1: don't work around my baby. May baby works around me,
Speaker 1: and they're the first people to be like, we're I
Speaker 1: had no idea, Like that is not how it works.
Speaker 1: I will do anything to work around my baby. Said
Speaker 1: it at sleeps so today. So it's you know, living
Speaker 1: a healthy, stable life and.
Speaker 2: Just to make your life easier because it's so fucking
Speaker 2: hard in the first few months. Actually it's still hard
Speaker 2: and I'm three and a half years in.
Speaker 1: If anything, you need to maybe step up a notch.
Speaker 1: Maybe you need to go visit her, take her a coffee,
Speaker 1: take your friends some lunch, because she's probably gonna be
Speaker 1: run off her feet and not want to leave the
Speaker 1: house for a little while.
Speaker 2: I mean this is not to say that you're not
Speaker 2: gonna have kid free time with your friends like in
Speaker 2: four years, like of course, you're gonna have time, and
Speaker 2: you're gonna have a relationship where you're able to still
Speaker 2: see your friends and have time without kids around. But
Speaker 2: I think that if you are expecting that your friendship
Speaker 2: will only be able to stay as strong if it's
Speaker 2: on the conditions that she shows up in that friendship
Speaker 2: child free, I think that is like the friendship is
Speaker 2: not gonna work out. It's you're not gonna stay as close,
Speaker 2: and unfortunately, your friendships are not going to weather the
Speaker 2: seasons of life if they come with that caveat. Because
Speaker 2: a lot of people have children, and a lot of
Speaker 2: people also want to be around their kids. You know,
Speaker 2: they want to be able to have friendships where they
Speaker 2: can share that with their children and also have independent
Speaker 2: adult relationships and friendships where they can go out for
Speaker 2: drinks with their friends. You need to be able to
Speaker 2: do both. I think we've answered that one. It's silly,
Speaker 2: but I feel like it's the person who's written I
Speaker 2: feel like the person who's written in the question is
Speaker 2: more the problem here. Is that a mean thing to say?
Speaker 1: No, I agree with you, but benefit of the doubt.
Speaker 1: Maybe this person hasn't had a friend or someone close
Speaker 1: in their life that has had a kid before, because
Speaker 1: the way they've written question makes me think that they
Speaker 1: haven't been exposed to children to a large level, because it's.
Speaker 2: A strange question to us. I especially don't want her
Speaker 2: bringing it to my house. What do you think it's
Speaker 2: gonna do. It's not a dog, it's not gonna rip
Speaker 2: your like like, it's a baby in a carrier that's
Speaker 2: probably gonna be asleep. It's in a sleep, yeah, Or
Speaker 2: on the titty. Let's not gonna do a lot. I
Speaker 2: understand if my friends don't want me to bring my
Speaker 2: three year old to their house for them to like.
Speaker 2: Or on the walls Marley's Wild. Yeah, she'll give you
Speaker 2: an indoor collage or a little masterpiece on wall down one. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean anyway, all right?
Speaker 1: Question number two, Okay, this one I also have strong
Speaker 1: opinions about. I've just found out that my mum cheated
Speaker 1: on my dad when I was a teenager. They divorced
Speaker 1: five years ago, when I was twenty one and already
Speaker 1: living out of home. I was already a bit of
Speaker 1: a daddy's girl. He's not your average blokey bloke, and
Speaker 1: we were always really close. When I was growing up,
Speaker 1: my mom was a bit more of the disciplinarian type
Speaker 1: and just not as warm in general. I found out
Speaker 1: about her affair from my brother, who.
Speaker 2: Is closer with my mum. My question is, now that
Speaker 2: I know about this, should I tell my dad. He
Speaker 2: has a new.
Speaker 1: Partner and he seems to be really happy, and I
Speaker 1: do know that this would really crush him. I'm also
Speaker 1: super angry that I have to know this information. I
Speaker 1: would have much rather that my mom and my brother
Speaker 1: I kept this shitty bit of info to themselves.
Speaker 2: This is wild. Where do we start? Because I'm okay,
Speaker 2: I'm going to start at the end. No, don't tell
Speaker 2: your dad, Like, absolutely, I'm gonna start at the end.
Speaker 2: Week go way back. There is absolutely nothing. There is
Speaker 2: nothing good that will come out of you telling your dad.
Speaker 2: I think it is so unfortunate that you know this information.
Speaker 2: No one take it to the grave. No one ever
Speaker 2: wants to know this shit about their parents. It's so
Speaker 2: unfair because your parents don't even have sex, illy, like,
Speaker 2: how dare she have an affairs? I mean? And also
Speaker 2: you don't know whether or not your dad knows. Like
Speaker 2: your dad may know about the exactly right, you know,
Speaker 2: he may know, he may be suspicious, but he may
Speaker 2: not have had those conversations with you, because ultimately you're
Speaker 2: the child, and even though you're so close with your dad,
Speaker 2: there is still a parent child dynamic there. I myself,
Speaker 2: if this was me, I don't think that anything good
Speaker 2: can come from talking to your dad about this. All
Speaker 2: that's going to do is strain that relationship more. It's
Speaker 2: gonna make him potentially quite upset, and for what purpose.
Speaker 2: He's not with your mum anymore, they don't have a relationship.
Speaker 2: It's almost like you're just wanting to tell him because
Speaker 2: you're mad and you want to get that off your chest.
Speaker 2: So therefore you want to pass that information that burden
Speaker 2: onto him as well, so that you can both be
Speaker 2: mutually mad together. Take it to the grave. If you're angry,
Speaker 2: go talk to your mum about it. But why the fud?
Speaker 2: You have an a fair like, how'd you do that
Speaker 2: to dad? Tell who was he? Have that conversation then?
Speaker 2: But I don't think you need to ruin.
Speaker 1: Your dad's happiness for what to live in the past, Like,
Speaker 1: just so you know, Dad, a long time ago, when
Speaker 1: you were together, Mom had an affair. How do you
Speaker 1: feel now like he's moved on and he's happy. It
Speaker 1: might be different if, and I say might, if your
Speaker 1: dad was like, I really want to make it work
Speaker 1: with your mom. I'm going to try and win it over.
Speaker 1: And you know your mum had been out there doing
Speaker 1: the horizontal dance a love every Friday night. You might
Speaker 1: be like, well looked at it.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: Then with Spen, that's different. But I think let him live,
Speaker 2: let him be happy. He's in a new relationship.
Speaker 1: You definitely are angry that your brother has put this
Speaker 1: weight on your shoulders because now you feel like you
Speaker 1: have a responsibility. You feel like you're close to your dad.
Speaker 1: You feel like you're keeping sick if it's which you are.
Speaker 1: But occasionally I do believe it's better to keep a secret.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I agree. I think sometimes we talk too much
Speaker 2: about like keeping a secret is so naughty. No, sometimes
Speaker 2: keeping a secret is better for everybody. Yeah, it's called
Speaker 2: a white lie. I mean it's probably a bit further
Speaker 2: than a white live is fun. I feel like a
Speaker 2: white lies, like you know, lying about how many ice
Speaker 2: creams you've had, like you don't know where the leftovers went.
Speaker 2: I think, if you really need to have a conversation
Speaker 2: about this, Like, if you need to get this out
Speaker 2: of your system, the person to talk to is your
Speaker 2: brother and then potentially your mum. But also like I
Speaker 2: don't even think i'd talk to my mum about it.
Speaker 2: I just feel like, fuck, people do stupid stuff, and.
Speaker 1: I also wouldn't either because I don't want to know
Speaker 1: about my parents doing that kind of stuff. Like I'm
Speaker 1: lucky my parents are happily married forty five or six
Speaker 1: years and they definitely still have sex, Like I know that,
Speaker 1: but I'm happy for them to have sex because it
Speaker 1: means they're in a whole relationship.
Speaker 2: But I don't want to do you reckon. They still
Speaker 2: have sex, absolutely.
Speaker 1: Not not all the whole. Yeah, I totally know when
Speaker 1: they've done it too, because like.
Speaker 2: They're glowing well in the morning, Like if I'm up visiting,
Speaker 2: they're all like cutesies and they be cutesies and Mom's like, Tony,
Speaker 2: don't do that, haha, and it's all cute.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, I actually love it, you know, because
Speaker 1: i'd rehother that. I'd rather know that they're happy. But
Speaker 1: it's yeah, it's not like they get it off. I
Speaker 1: come from the complete opposite end of the spectrum. Like
Speaker 1: my parents got divorced when I was three and a half.
Speaker 1: Like part of me is like, maybe someone did you.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I mean, I'm speculating, but like, but
Speaker 2: if I found out that somebody cheated like that, if
Speaker 2: my mum cheated or my dad, or my dad cheated
Speaker 2: on my mom, I would not be touching that with
Speaker 2: a ten foot pole. I would be about it. Do
Speaker 2: you know what? You fucked it up. You guys are
Speaker 2: clearly not together. It was a terrible match. It worked
Speaker 2: out the way it worked out, and everyone's happier for it.
Speaker 2: Let's just let it be in the past.
Speaker 1: Isn't it funny because I'm not talking about affairs, just
Speaker 1: talking about sex. I think in twenty years, right, in
Speaker 1: twenty years, do you think you'll be having sex with
Speaker 1: Matt You guys will be fifth that's not.
Speaker 2: Old, ye young. You will still be having sex.
Speaker 1: Your daughters are going to be in their twenties. Been like, ill,
Speaker 1: mom and dad don't have sex. That's disgusting, But it's not.
Speaker 1: You're just a normal person. You're a normal adult.
Speaker 2: We always think that it's like they're so our parents
Speaker 2: are so old and like so old.
Speaker 1: But they're not like guys most of you listening. If
Speaker 1: your parents are here, they're probably getting jiggy with it.
Speaker 2: Even if it's not with your dad, it's probably with
Speaker 2: someone a milkman. All right, Question number three, This one
Speaker 2: is a fucking doozy. Oh, it's a doozy. Although, like,
Speaker 2: I'm still not even sure how I would answer this.
Speaker 2: So this is for you, Brett. I love that. That's
Speaker 2: why you've thrown it to me, so you can think
Speaker 2: about your answer. I was a bridesmaid at a wedding
Speaker 2: over the weekend and I definitely drank too much and
Speaker 2: have had quite a few blackout moments throughout the evening,
Speaker 2: which is bad if you're a bridesmaid. However, I have
Speaker 2: been told I wasn't the only one at the after party,
Speaker 2: I found myself falling into bed. Just fell into bed
Speaker 2: with the MC, which was the groom's brother and his girlfriend,
Speaker 2: and we ended up having a threesome. Mena scandalous. I
Speaker 2: like how when she said she blacked out and then
Speaker 2: she fell into bed, I thought she meant she fell
Speaker 2: into bed and passed out, and she fell into a threesome.
Speaker 2: She fell into the fell happiness vagina had fell into
Speaker 2: the vagina? How did I get here? Somehow? A lot
Speaker 2: of people seem to know about this, including the bride
Speaker 2: and the groom, who were also at the after party
Speaker 2: and hired the accommodation for the bridal party that we
Speaker 2: had sex at. I handed it to you on a
Speaker 2: plot as a bridesmaid. Was this inappropriate? Yes? Do I
Speaker 2: need to apologize to the bride and groom? Debatable? And
Speaker 2: I did ask the other bridesmaids and they told me
Speaker 2: that it seemed like it was fine. But my question
Speaker 2: is is it I don't necessarily regret the threesome, but
Speaker 2: I do regret it happening on the night of their wedding.
Speaker 1: I actually don't think there's anything wrong with this in
Speaker 1: all honesty, unless you did it on the dance floor
Speaker 1: in the middle of the wedding you were It sounds
Speaker 1: like your three consenting adults that had a great night
Speaker 1: and a wedding, went back to an after party, continued
Speaker 1: to have a great night, and then had your own
Speaker 1: after after party. Like I think, it's not like you cheated, right,
Speaker 1: It's not like he had a partner the MC and
Speaker 1: you did the dirty and she didn't know about it.
Speaker 2: You there were three adults who were like, let's have
Speaker 2: some fun scandalous.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think there's a problem with it, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm the only reason why I'm like, maybe you should
Speaker 1: bring it up with the bride. The only reasons, but
Speaker 1: the only reason I'm like, have a conversation clear the
Speaker 1: air might make you feel better is because she paid
Speaker 1: for the accommodation for the bridal party, and were you
Speaker 1: all supposed to be there?
Speaker 2: Fucking like, is that gonna No, I'm just thinking about
Speaker 2: my own wedding and then going back because like maybe
Speaker 2: she had an idea for what that was going to be,
Speaker 2: Like maybe she thought you were all going to hang
Speaker 2: out and have drinks together, not that next door there
Speaker 2: was going to be three of you having a threesome.
Speaker 2: Surely she it's funny, maybe, but some people don't. People
Speaker 2: get very hung up about how their wedding is supposed
Speaker 2: to play out, do you know what I mean? And
Speaker 2: maybe because you were blacking out during the night, maybe
Speaker 2: you were inappropriately drunk. Maybe the drunkness was the thing
Speaker 2: that you might need to approach with her, like that's
Speaker 2: different because you had an important role to play. You
Speaker 2: were a bridesmaid and were you Yeah, were you so
Speaker 2: sloppy that you were an embarrassment throughout the night? That's
Speaker 2: the conversation I think broach first, and then if she
Speaker 2: was like, no, you're completely fine, then maybe the brocher.
Speaker 2: Are you annoyed with me for fucking the MC and
Speaker 2: his girlfriend?
Speaker 1: Yes, I completely agree if you were causing havoc at
Speaker 1: the wedding, like if you were just a pain in
Speaker 1: the ass because you were so inappropriately drunk, one hundred percent,
Speaker 1: you need to have that conversation. Apologize because our wedding
Speaker 1: is a very special day. You don't want to be
Speaker 1: a loose cannon at the wedding. I think do what
Speaker 1: you want afterwards. The only reason I can see that
Speaker 1: like she might have a problem with you guys getting
Speaker 1: g is that maybe it's all anyone's talking about.
Speaker 2: Maybe no one's talking about your wedding. Maybe imagine that trumping,
Speaker 2: Like that's the thing everyone talks about after the amazing day,
Speaker 2: that something you know, there was a threesome. Absolutely, although
Speaker 2: would I I'm just trying to put myself in these shoes.
Speaker 2: Imagine I had a threesome at your wedding. Made the
Speaker 2: Daily Mail that would give us content. Just take one
Speaker 2: for the team. I would wish you did and then
Speaker 2: you talked about it. That would have been Yeah, I
Speaker 2: would have been all for it. I'm trying to put
Speaker 2: myself in these shoes. If I paid for the airbnb, like,
Speaker 2: if I'm paid for the accommodation and I'd invited people
Speaker 2: back to like enjoy themselves, would enjoy themselves, Laura, it's
Speaker 2: money well spent. Would I be annoyed? Would I be
Speaker 2: annoyed about people having a threesome at the airbnb I
Speaker 2: paid for? Only you can answer that. Maybe I'm a
Speaker 2: kill joy. Maybe I don't like people having fun. Maybe
Speaker 2: I don't like three cents pro more likely.
Speaker 1: But this is the point, right, It can't be bad
Speaker 1: either because you have paid for the accommodation for the
Speaker 1: bridal party.
Speaker 2: So that was her bed.
Speaker 1: Whether she's won per in the bed or whether she's
Speaker 1: three people in the bed, hasn't costume.
Speaker 2: In the bed.
Speaker 1: And the little one said no loud of me.
Speaker 2: Me, Okay, I don't know. Look, I think if you
Speaker 2: regret it, I mean no point asking us whether you
Speaker 2: should regret it or not. I think the big litmus
Speaker 2: for that is if you feel like you did something wrong,
Speaker 2: if you feel embarrassed for it, if you're worried about
Speaker 2: what the bridal groom think, go and have a conversation
Speaker 2: with them. You were their bridesmaid, you're clearly one of
Speaker 2: their very close friends.
Speaker 1: I just imagine a scene out of like a hangover
Speaker 1: scene when they walk in like so pretty big wedding,
Speaker 1: Like when you're trying to broach the subject, you know,
Speaker 1: you're like, things get pretty crazy.
Speaker 2: I just go and have a conversation and then you'll
Speaker 2: get a very good gage as to whether they're annoyed.
Speaker 2: Do the open end that I just gave him? Okay,
Speaker 2: next question.
Speaker 1: This is so hard for me. I am so torn.
Speaker 1: It's really serious.
Speaker 2: Oh god, can I we take a moment? Yeah, if
Speaker 2: we had sound effects, i'd put something on. But why
Speaker 2: can you ghost your hairdresser? It's like the buzzer. I
Speaker 2: feel like it was off. Hey it's Saturday?
Speaker 1: Can you ghost your hairdresser? I've been going to a
Speaker 1: hairdresser for the past two years. We follow each other
Speaker 1: on the Gram and I have enjoyed getting my hair
Speaker 1: done there, but I wanted a change. I recently tried
Speaker 1: a new hairdresser. It is slightly more upmarket, and I
Speaker 1: feel more relaxed. I'm usually at the hairdresser every four
Speaker 1: to five hours each time, so relaxation and comfort are
Speaker 1: something I'm willing to pay for. I want to share
Speaker 1: something on my stories from my new hair place, but
Speaker 1: then I stopped as I felt too nervous about what
Speaker 1: the other hairdresser might think, even though I'll probably never
Speaker 1: see them outside of a salon environment.
Speaker 2: Is this just me? No, this is not just you.
Speaker 2: This is one of life's biggest conundrums. So I think
Speaker 2: this is how you have to play the sart. Okay,
Speaker 2: you just never go back to the other hairdresser, but
Speaker 2: you need to leave some space. You can't just like instant.
Speaker 2: It can't be like your six week appointment that you
Speaker 2: would normally go to your regular hairdresser and then you
Speaker 2: start posting from another hairdresser, because do you post every
Speaker 2: time you're at the hairdresser, I don't know. Leave some space,
Speaker 2: go to the new hairdresser for a while, really cement
Speaker 2: yourself there, really be sure that that's your place and
Speaker 2: your purpose and where you want to be. And then
Speaker 2: in the future, when old hairdresser has almost forgotten about you,
Speaker 2: she will never forget what happened to that girl who
Speaker 2: used to come. Then you post that you don't need
Speaker 2: to have a conversation with your old hairdresser to tell
Speaker 2: them unfollow her, though first don't be following, and then locko,
Speaker 2: don't unfollow because she has anything wrong. But you don't
Speaker 2: have a conversation with your hairdresser and say I'm going
Speaker 2: somewhere else. You just book and then go.
Speaker 1: But I guess the question is why do you have
Speaker 1: to post like you know you're gonna hurt your old
Speaker 1: hairdressers feel it.
Speaker 2: That's saying don't post now, post in like six months time.
Speaker 2: Hold that shit in for a while. There's no need
Speaker 2: because there's not about that. You don't have to post
Speaker 2: a hairdresser.
Speaker 1: Next time you put a photo up, your hair dresser's
Speaker 1: gonna be like, oh she had black hair an now.
Speaker 2: It's born like just on your normal Instagram, we share
Speaker 2: too much.
Speaker 1: Maybe just to let your Instagram, maybe you go really ott.
Speaker 1: You put your photo up and you're like, so thankful
Speaker 1: that I won this hair. Maybe don't do that, so
Speaker 1: thankful that my friends surprise me with a voucher for
Speaker 1: the hairdresser I'm giving it a whirl, maybe so that
Speaker 1: the hairdresser she sees it. The old hairdresser, she's not
Speaker 1: up there because she's like, oh, she want a voucher.
Speaker 2: Do you think I don't think you need to go.
Speaker 2: I think we're overthinking it. I think, look, it's nice
Speaker 2: that you're empathetic. It's great that you care. I don't
Speaker 2: think you owe your old hairdresser that much. I think
Speaker 2: just you just owe them a bit of space in
Speaker 2: between the posting. But you do develop like.
Speaker 1: A relationship with the hairdresser because you're there for five hours.
Speaker 2: You talk too long.
Speaker 1: I have a few hairdressers right because I go for
Speaker 1: different reasons for different things, and if I really need
Speaker 1: something in one's book, don't go to the other one.
Speaker 1: But I make that very clear that I go, and
Speaker 1: I love them all. I'm very lucky I set that
Speaker 1: groundwork early. These are my hairdresses for different things, and
Speaker 1: they all know. So I'm not having any affairs like
Speaker 1: I'm not having I like, how hard.
Speaker 2: You're going with this now, Just so that any of
Speaker 2: their hairdressers are listening, they all know that they all loved,
Speaker 2: even though you're all equally loved, except for that one.
Speaker 2: I never went back to you. No, you know who
Speaker 2: you are.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you spend five hours with them, you talked to
Speaker 1: mom about a lot.
Speaker 2: You really get to know them.
Speaker 1: Like I knew that my hairdress was pregnant before anyone
Speaker 1: even knew, Like I got really inside a goss. So
Speaker 1: I think, you know, you do have to treat it
Speaker 1: more carefully than not. But I mean we're all joking
Speaker 1: about saying, don't post and do it your Instagram. You
Speaker 1: don't have you don't owe them anything. It's just more
Speaker 1: out of awkwardness. But I know Mitch Jury, like our
Speaker 1: radio co host, he had to break up with his
Speaker 1: hair dresser because.
Speaker 2: He wanted to go to a new hairdresser. But that's
Speaker 2: because she moved far away, So that was her own fault.
Speaker 2: She moved to a new clinic and it was too far.
Speaker 2: But he didn't break up with her.
Speaker 1: He just went somewhere else and she saw and then
Speaker 1: she messaged him, and then it was this really awkward moment.
Speaker 2: I do think it comes down to how close the
Speaker 2: relationship is, Like it's kind of like going to a
Speaker 2: new PT trainer or I don't know, Like there's so
Speaker 2: many variations of this that this could be applied to
Speaker 2: It depends on how close the relationship is. Are you
Speaker 2: only ever going to see this person or speak to
Speaker 2: this person if you step foot in their salon, in
Speaker 2: which case I think there's less of a responsibility to
Speaker 2: their feelings. Yeah, if you're actually never gonna see or
Speaker 2: speak to them again. But if they have your number
Speaker 2: and you like you make your bookings because you text them,
Speaker 2: and like you know, there's a bit of back and
Speaker 2: forth every so often, then I think that there's more
Speaker 2: of an explanation, or not even an explanation. But just like,
Speaker 2: just don't post for a while when you go to
Speaker 2: a new hairdresser. We do not need to post everything
Speaker 2: that we do. It is okay. You can leave some space.
Speaker 2: She'll understand that you've started going somewhere else. And then
Speaker 2: down the track you can post a photo from their
Speaker 2: hairdresser if you want to. If you probably won't even notice,
Speaker 2: you probably will feel better. Don't lie to the audience.
Speaker 2: They're gonna know, they're gonna know. Let's put a poll up.
Speaker 2: Let's put a poll up. I love a pole and
Speaker 2: I think a.
Speaker 1: Lot of people have gone through this where they've had
Speaker 1: to break up with a hairdresser. Have you had to
Speaker 1: break up with a hairdresser?
Speaker 2: Do you?
Speaker 1: And then did you tell them or did you ghost them?
Speaker 1: So I think there's two polls.
Speaker 2: Were just goes them. I think it's fine. Okare the
Speaker 2: more I think about it, I'm fine with it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: don't go someone that you've had inside you, but you
Speaker 2: can goese your hair dress so you could still go.
Speaker 1: Someone inside you if you're under the right circumstance, not
Speaker 1: while they're in there.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, that is it from us guys. If
Speaker 2: you love the episode, jump onto Apple Podcast, leave us
Speaker 2: a review, or you can also jump on and hit
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Speaker 2: every single week. You can also listen on Spotify. You
Speaker 2: don't have to just listen to there's everywhere, so many
Speaker 2: players to listen, so little time.
Speaker 1: Keep your asking cuts coming into life fun Cut podcast
Speaker 1: on Instagram. And I was gonna say, accidently unfiltereds, I
Speaker 1: feel like you always now let me finish, and your
Speaker 1: accidentally unfilters and your confessionals and any other story you
Speaker 1: think we need to know about because we want to.
Speaker 2: Hear about it. The reason why I'm like jumping in
Speaker 2: and I'm getting excited about accidently unfilters because we haven't
Speaker 2: received many of them recently. We've took a little break,
Speaker 2: but I think it's time to bring it back. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: we did.
Speaker 1: We had down a different channel for a litt while
Speaker 1: because we wanted to try some new stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I've missed them. I missed them. Tell me
Speaker 2: what is the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?
Speaker 2: When did you shot yourself or like have an orgasm
Speaker 2: when walking down the street or whatever.
Speaker 1: Crazy, that's embarrassing. How do you if you can do that,
Speaker 1: let us know how.
Speaker 2: That's what. I don't write it because you're embarrassed. Tell
Speaker 2: us what your secret is if you can get off
Speaker 2: walking down the street. We need to know you live
Speaker 2: your rest life. That is it from us. You guys
Speaker 2: know the drill. So your mum, tell dad, tell your dog,
Speaker 2: tell your friends. We share the love because we love love.