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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.

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Speaker 2: Now, it's those moments of connection that creates the bonds

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Speaker 2: and the memories and the experiences that kids will talk

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Speaker 2: about for years.

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Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum

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Speaker 1: and dad.

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Speaker 2: Of all the episodes that we do, we get more

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Speaker 2: positive feed in fact, more feedback generally, And it's always

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Speaker 2: positive about our Friday conversations.

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Speaker 3: I'll do better tomorrow.

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Speaker 4: Well it's our favorite as well, so I'm not surprised.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm Justin Colson.

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Speaker 2: I'm here with Kylie, my wife, and we do this

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Speaker 2: podcast called Dr Justin Courson's Happy Families. And are you okay?

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Speaker 2: You've got your wiggles on today, You're wiggling all over

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Speaker 2: the place.

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Speaker 4: I'm trying to put my happy on right.

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Speaker 2: One thing that I've discovered about being a parent now,

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Speaker 2: I think it's being a mum. I don't think the

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Speaker 2: kids have ever done this to me, but I was

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Speaker 2: watching just the other day. This is kind of indiscreeted

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Speaker 2: me to say this, But you've gone into the bathroom, actually,

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Speaker 2: you've gone into the toilet. You need to have a moment,

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Speaker 2: and our seven year old Emily comes into the room. Mom, Mum, mum,

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Speaker 2: and I said, mum's in the loo. You'll have to

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Speaker 2: talk to me, and she said, no, I need to

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Speaker 2: see mum. I said, well, she's in the toilet. You

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Speaker 2: can't go in there. And she completely walked past me,

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Speaker 2: ignored me. And you said something like, Emily, I'm in

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Speaker 2: the tournament. She busts the door open, walks in and says,

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Speaker 2: I don't care. I've got to give you a hug.

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Speaker 3: She gives you a hug. The kids really love you.

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Speaker 3: They'll go through anything to give you.

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Speaker 2: Anything went through me and went straight in there. How

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Speaker 2: does that feel to know that you're that loved that

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Speaker 2: somebody will actually hug you while you're there, you know.

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Speaker 4: What, of all the places they could love me?

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Speaker 3: Just disgusting.

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Speaker 4: It's really bad.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry to bring that up, but this is real

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Speaker 3: life parenting, right.

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Speaker 2: Like you can't have a shower without there's just no privacy.

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Speaker 2: And I think it happens for mums much more than dads.

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Speaker 2: The kids have never done that for me. They also

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Speaker 2: know that when dad's in the shower. I mean, we've

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Speaker 2: got girls and We've just always had this thing about privacy.

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Speaker 2: So the kids don't come into the shower when I'm

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Speaker 2: in there, into the bathroom, but they don't care if

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Speaker 2: you're in there. They just walk straight in there, have

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Speaker 2: a conversation.

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Speaker 4: We've got all the same bit, so it's not they

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Speaker 4: have a.

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Speaker 3: Conversation with you. Well, I just don't understand it. Anyway,

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Speaker 3: I'll do better.

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Speaker 2: Tomorrow is the Friday conversation that we have where we

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Speaker 2: reflect on the week that was, talk about the good bits,

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Speaker 2: all the bad bits, and figure out how we can

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Speaker 2: be more intentional or better at parenting as a result

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Speaker 2: of either the successes or the failures that we've had

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Speaker 2: this week just gone.

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Speaker 4: We've had some pretty epic failures. Let me I'm hoping

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Speaker 4: today's got a better feel.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, well, I'm feeling pretty good about I don't

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Speaker 2: know if mine is actually a winner or a loss.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to put it down as a success.

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Speaker 4: Learning No, no, no, I just I'm going to say it.

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Speaker 2: Was a success because the intention was right and nothing

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Speaker 2: worked out quite right, but we still were glad that

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Speaker 2: we did it anyway. So on Monday of this week,

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Speaker 2: I've been I've just been doing massive hours at work,

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Speaker 2: and whenever I can, especially on a Monday, I try.

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Speaker 3: To get off work a little bit early.

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Speaker 2: And I guess one of the great things about working

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Speaker 2: for yourself is apparently you do have that flexibility. I

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Speaker 2: say apparently, because when you work for yourself, you're much

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Speaker 2: harsher on you than any boss normally would be. But

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Speaker 2: I reckon, even if you do have a boss, you

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Speaker 2: can probably try to get a little bit of flexibility

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Speaker 2: into your life to make this happen. So on a Monday, AVO,

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Speaker 2: one of our kids finished a school a couple of

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Speaker 2: hours early, that's just how her timetable is, and the

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Speaker 2: other kids they've got a school that finishes at two

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Speaker 2: thirty and so on a Monday, Avo, I try to

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Speaker 2: get at least an hour or two off work and

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Speaker 2: spend some time with the kids. And this Monday I

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Speaker 2: was able to do that. My schedule's been overfilled, and

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Speaker 2: I just thought, I'm going to be back in the

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Speaker 2: office all Monday night. Anyway, I'm going to disappear for

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Speaker 2: a few hours with the kids, grabbed them, jumped in

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Speaker 2: the car, went to the beach, and.

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Speaker 3: It just felt so good to drive down.

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Speaker 2: The highway arrive at the beach and then we got

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Speaker 2: out of the car and I kid you not, the

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Speaker 2: wind was It was like a hurricane. It was blowing

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Speaker 2: at like thirty or forty kilometers an hour, like it

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Speaker 2: was howling, and it was cold. And the kids got

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Speaker 2: out of the car and I was just finishing a

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Speaker 2: phone call and I said, I'll be there in just

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Speaker 2: a second. I was doing a radio interview for ABC Perth.

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Speaker 2: They ran down to the beach. I said, I'll be there,

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Speaker 2: just go to the flag and I'll come swim with you.

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Speaker 2: But I hadn't got another car and felt the cold,

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Speaker 2: all the wind. They were gone for about ninety seconds.

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Speaker 2: They'd run down, they'd put their toes in the water,

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Speaker 2: and then they ran back and they sat in the

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Speaker 2: car for ten minutes while I was doing this interview.

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Speaker 2: When I finally got off the telephone from the interview,

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Speaker 2: I said, what are you doing? What are you here for?

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Speaker 2: And they're like, it is so cold, we are not

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Speaker 2: going swimming. I got out. There was not a single

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Speaker 2: person on the beach. It was so windy that the

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Speaker 2: sand was whipping my legs As I ran down to

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Speaker 2: the beach. The water was actually beautiful, but the air

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Speaker 2: temperature was horrid, and I just said to the kids,

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Speaker 2: we have driven for forty five minutes to get to

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Speaker 2: the beach. We are not giving up now. And they've

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Speaker 2: looked at me like I'm insane.

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Speaker 4: That reminds me of when we first moved over from

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Speaker 4: New Zealand. I was ten and we hired a car

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Speaker 4: to drive from Sydney to Brisbane and we'd never had

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Speaker 4: a car where they're conditioning before.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 4: And so we arrived in the summer and it was really,

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Speaker 4: really hot, and my parents blasted that conditioner the entire

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Speaker 4: way from Sydney to Brisbane. We were so cold in

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Speaker 4: the back and every time we said to them, can

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Speaker 4: you turn the air conditioning off? They said no, because

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Speaker 4: once we get there, we won't have a car with

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Speaker 4: air conditioning.

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Speaker 3: We've got to get our money's worth, right. That's what

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Speaker 3: you did to the kids.

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Speaker 4: Pretty much did get into the water when it was freezing.

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Speaker 2: I said, I've taken the afternoon off work to come

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Speaker 2: to the beach to go for a swim. We've driven

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Speaker 2: here for forty five minutes to get here. We've sat

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Speaker 2: in the car, I've done this radio of you. We're

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Speaker 2: swimming and I ripped my shirt off and they were like,

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Speaker 2: he's serious. I tagged one of them on the on

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Speaker 2: the backside and said, tip your it and just ran

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Speaker 2: for the water. The water was absolutely beautiful, but with

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Speaker 2: this incredibly like the wind was howling and the surf

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Speaker 2: was just messy and gross and it wasn't nice to

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Speaker 2: be in the water because it was just so choppy,

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Speaker 2: like it was awful. And after about five minutes in

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Speaker 2: the water, I've said to the kids, are we done yet?

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Speaker 2: They're like, oh, we are so done that we spread

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Speaker 2: it back up the beach, getting whipped by the sand

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Speaker 2: and stood underneath the cold shower to try to get

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Speaker 2: on the sand. Office I'm going to say that that

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Speaker 2: was a really big win.

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Speaker 4: We really miss being close to the beach. Those ten

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Speaker 4: minute drives to realize that the conditions weren't good is

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Speaker 4: a big shift from what you're now having to do

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Speaker 4: forty five.

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Speaker 3: Minutes down the road.

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Speaker 2: Because we used to live in Wollongong, it was ten

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Speaker 2: minutes from fig Tree to whatever beach we wanted to

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Speaker 2: go to Port Campbeller this duel of the South Coast

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Speaker 2: and yeah, really really awful. So on the way home

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Speaker 2: we stopped at yack Donald's and I bought an ice

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Speaker 2: cream with a flake for each of them. And I reckon,

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Speaker 2: even though it was a dismal failure in terms of

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Speaker 2: the quality of the experience we had with the activity,

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Speaker 2: we talked and we sang songs, cheued up a whole

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Speaker 2: lot of stuff on Spotify, and they told me about

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Speaker 2: their lives. And I'm calling that an absolute screaming win

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Speaker 2: in spite of the horrendous conditions.

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Speaker 4: Well, I love that you made time for them even

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Speaker 4: when your schedule was so busy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I reckon that if families can find a way to

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Speaker 2: do that, it really does make a difference. It's those

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Speaker 2: moments of connection that create the bonds and the memories

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Speaker 2: and the experiences that kids will talk about for years.

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Speaker 2: I reckon that one's going to be remembered by them.

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Speaker 2: Let's find out about your I'll do bet it's Moorrow. Next,

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Speaker 2: it's the Happy Families Podcast.

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Speaker 5: Imagine a home where discipline got results without anyone having

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Speaker 5: to feel bad or in trouble. The do's and don'ts

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Speaker 5: of Discipline as a webinar to help parents set limits

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Speaker 5: with love, compassion, and humanity. Find it now at happy

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Speaker 5: families dot com dot au slash shop.

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Speaker 4: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time

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Speaker 4: poor parent who just wants answers now, and today we

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Speaker 4: are talking about the things that we got right. I

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Speaker 4: think this reason did you have? You got a good

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Speaker 4: story as well. I think one's a bit like yours.

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Speaker 4: I'm going to talk it up as a success.

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Speaker 2: So long as no walls or ceilings were damaged in

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Speaker 2: this story, I'm feeling good about it. For those of

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Speaker 2: you who miss by the way back in the podcast

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Speaker 2: feed to last week's I'll do it tomorrow and find

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Speaker 2: out why Mother's Day was horrendous and why we no

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Speaker 2: longer have walls and ceilings in our TV room.

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Speaker 3: So what was yours?

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Speaker 4: So for a little while now Miss seven just hates

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Speaker 4: having a bath. We've gone from can't get her out

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Speaker 4: of the bath. She would just like literally live in

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Speaker 4: the bath if she could to now refusing to get

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Speaker 4: in the bath. And so the other night, as I

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Speaker 4: was talking her through it and just explaining that, you know,

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Speaker 4: her hair gets really naughty after she's been in swimming

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Speaker 4: lessons and we just need to give it a quick wash.

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Speaker 4: She doesn't have to stand there forever, just give herself

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Speaker 4: a quick wash. She was like, Oh, all of a sudden,

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Speaker 4: it kind of clicked. She thought she had to I

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Speaker 4: don't know what she thought she had to do, but

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Speaker 4: I just said, just get yourself washed. You don't have

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Speaker 4: to stay in there, and she was like okay. So

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Speaker 4: she finally did it, after she'd had a pretty big meltdown.

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Speaker 4: I tried to just stay calm and talk her through it,

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Speaker 4: and once she was done, she was still just a

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Speaker 4: little bit out of thoughts. And so I just said

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Speaker 4: to the big girls, all right, we're gonna we're just

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Speaker 4: going to call it quits tonight. I'm going to go

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Speaker 4: and spend some time with Emily in her room. And

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Speaker 4: so I tried to do what we would normally do,

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Speaker 4: and she's got little readers from school, and she'd read,

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Speaker 4: but she just wasn't settling well in that space. And

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Speaker 4: I just happened to look over and on her shelf

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Speaker 4: she had put all of her big puzzles, like he

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Speaker 4: one hundred, one hundred and fifty two hundred, two hundred

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Speaker 4: and fifty piece puzzles all in her shelf. And I

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Speaker 4: was like, Emily, would you like to do a puzzle?

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Speaker 4: I kind of broke the rules. It was really time

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Speaker 4: for reading, but I just thought I just need I

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Speaker 4: need something to kind of to reconnect with her. And

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Speaker 4: she said, hm, okay, and so we sat down and

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Speaker 4: she decided to pick the biggest puzzle and the hardest one.

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Speaker 3: Of the whole lot to do, of course, but.

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Speaker 4: We got about three quarters of the way through it

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Speaker 4: and she said, Mum, we don't have to finish it now.

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Speaker 4: I think I'm ready for bed, And she just jumped

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Speaker 4: into bed and we had a little snuggle in a

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Speaker 4: cuddle and lights were out, and she just went to

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Speaker 4: sleep so beautifully, and we probably probably we were a

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Speaker 4: little bit over time. She didn't go to bed exactly

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Speaker 4: when she was supposed to, but she didn't go to

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Speaker 4: bed screaming and wailing either.

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Speaker 3: I was really.

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Speaker 4: Grateful for that time to reconnect and just regroup before

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Speaker 4: bed so that she could go to sleep peacefully.

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Speaker 3: Great story.

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Speaker 2: Love, I'll do better tomorrow. Love just connecting with the

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Speaker 2: reality of being a parent. I came across I was

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Speaker 2: having a conversation with somebody just the other day, and

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Speaker 2: I can't remember if it was me or them, but

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Speaker 2: somehow we came up with this idea that the product

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Speaker 2: of parenting is the parent, not the child, and these

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Speaker 2: intentional moments, these opportunities for us to reflect and try

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Speaker 2: to do better tomorrow based on either what we're winning

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Speaker 2: with or what we're losing and failing with. It helps

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Speaker 2: us to become better parents and that's the real outcome

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Speaker 2: of great parenting, as we become much better people. We

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Speaker 2: love hearing your Little Winds as well. Every Wednesday on

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Speaker 2: Facebook we have this thing called Little Winds Wednesday, and

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Speaker 2: this week our Little Winds Wednesday winner.

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Speaker 3: Do you like that?

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Speaker 4: That's a mouthful?

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Speaker 2: Our Little Winds Wednesday winner was Tara Baine and who

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Speaker 2: said after a rough month with child health assessments, trouble

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Speaker 2: at daycare, with yelling, hitting and kicking the other children

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Speaker 2: and teachers, and overall quite big feelings towards everything, we're

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Speaker 2: now under the third day straight of quite calm, happy

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Speaker 2: and more manageable days. Found the biggest change was in

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Speaker 2: myself not letting my emotions parent and just stepping back

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Speaker 2: and thinking before reacting. It's been an awesome couple of

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Speaker 2: days so far with mister three. Let's hope it continues well. Tara,

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Speaker 2: because you jumped onto Facebook and told us about your

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Speaker 2: little wins with your little ones on Little Winds Wednesday.

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Speaker 2: You are our winner this week of one of the

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Speaker 2: Doctor Justin Coulson Justinism's twelve pack eighty five sized posters.

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Speaker 2: That's a mouthful, isn't That's another mouth We're sending you

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Speaker 2: some stuff for free, and every Wednesday on Facebook we

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Speaker 2: give you the chance to tell us about your little

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Speaker 2: wins with your little ones so that we can send

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Speaker 2: you free stuff on our Friday I'll Do Better Tomorrow podcast. Hey,

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Speaker 2: one more quick thing as well. This week has been

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Speaker 2: an absolutely massive week and I want to run you

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Speaker 2: through it just to highlight the work that I do

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Speaker 2: in case as a podcast listener, you're not aware of

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Speaker 2: the other stuff that I do outside of the podcast.

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Speaker 2: On Monday night, our Happy Families members and a bunch

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Speaker 2: of other people who just bought in for the night

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Speaker 2: were able to participate in a webinar about anxiety in

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Speaker 2: your child that's now for sale in the Happy Family's store.

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Speaker 2: On Tuesday, I worked at leward Hill College, at a girls'

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Speaker 2: school in an inner city suburb of Brisbane, where I

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Speaker 2: worked with students, with staff and with parents talking about

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Speaker 2: raising teenage girls and dealing with all the dramas and

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Speaker 2: challenges that teenage girls can experience in their lives and

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Speaker 2: how we can help them through it. On Wednesday, I

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Speaker 2: worked with King's Christian College on the Gold Coast working

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Speaker 2: with students about respectful relationships. I worked with students from

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Speaker 2: grade seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, and twelve and I've

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Speaker 2: had some incredibly meaningful and powerful conversations. On Thursday, yesterday,

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Speaker 2: I was in Penrith at Penrith Anglican College, helping parents,

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Speaker 2: students and staff. It's been a really big week with

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Speaker 2: loads of presentations and if you have your kids out

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Speaker 2: of school, or if you're a school teacher and would

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Speaker 2: love to get access to the work that I do,

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Speaker 2: I would love to be able to visit with you

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Speaker 2: and share these presentations so you can jump online. Just

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Speaker 2: visit my website and click on the speaking tab at

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Speaker 2: happy Families dot com dot you and one of my

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Speaker 2: staff will be in touch to talk to you about

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Speaker 2: how that happens. If you're not able to make that work,

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Speaker 2: you might like to try the Happy Families membership. It

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Speaker 2: could make so much difference in helping you to make

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Speaker 2: your family happier. Again all the details or at happy

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Speaker 2: families dot com dot AU. The Happy Families podcast is

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Speaker 2: produced by Justin Ruhlan. He's at Bridge Media. Craig Bruce

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Speaker 2: is the brains behind the podcast, our executive producer who

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Speaker 2: helps us to sound the way that we do. We

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Speaker 2: appreciate the work that they both do and we are

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Speaker 2: so grateful.

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Speaker 3: For you listening to our podcast.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for being a Happy Families podcast subscriber, and

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Speaker 2: we encourage you to tell your friends about it. Leave

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Speaker 2: those five star ratings and reviews so that we can

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Speaker 2: reach more people and help make more families happier.

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Speaker 3: For more info, visit happyfamilies dot com dot a