1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,920 Speaker 1: One of Australia's most accomplished children's authors, joins me on 2 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 1: the podcast today to talk kids reading and also what 3 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:18,840 Speaker 1: it means to be the Australian Children's Laureate. I'm so 4 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:22,760 Speaker 1: excited to have somebody coming back to the podcast. Return guest, 5 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: repeat offender, Stay with us. Welcome to Australia's most downloaded 6 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,440 Speaker 1: parenting podcast, The Happy Family's Podcast, where we give you 7 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:34,159 Speaker 1: real parenting solutions every day. My name's doctor Justin Coulson. 8 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 1: We are joined today by Sally Rippon. Sally is one 9 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:42,680 Speaker 1: of Australia's highest selling female authors ever. Has written over 10 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,600 Speaker 1: one hundred books for children and young adults, so many 11 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: of them have won awards. You may be familiar with 12 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 1: a couple of her series. Several series written, but a 13 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:54,200 Speaker 1: couple of the series that pretty much everyone has at 14 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 1: least a couple of these books on the bookshelf. There's 15 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,760 Speaker 1: the School of Monsters series, which is the most recent one. 16 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:01,320 Speaker 1: Billy B. Brown. My kids have still got their Billy B. 17 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:06,679 Speaker 1: Brown books on their bookshelves. Prolific author, current Australian Children's 18 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,480 Speaker 1: Laureate and over the last eighteen months, Sally has been 19 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:12,760 Speaker 1: traveling locally and internationally to talk about the way that 20 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:15,200 Speaker 1: we can share stories and support children who might struggle 21 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,679 Speaker 1: to read. Sally, thanks for coming back to the Happy 22 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:18,560 Speaker 1: Families podcast. 23 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,160 Speaker 2: It's such a thrill. It's really exciting to be here. 24 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 2: And you know, we touch base at the beginning with 25 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:25,920 Speaker 2: the Lariate ships, so it's really great to check in 26 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:26,840 Speaker 2: with how it's or going. 27 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,959 Speaker 1: So I'd never heard I'd heard of the word when 28 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,399 Speaker 1: we first spoke, but I didn't really understand what the 29 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:36,280 Speaker 1: Australian Children's Laureate was. For people who missed our conversation 30 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 1: twelve eighteen months ago, can you just give us the 31 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 1: quick background. What is the Australian Children's Laureate, why is 32 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 1: it you and what do you do? 33 00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:48,480 Speaker 2: So it's a position that is run by a board, 34 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 2: the Australian Children's Lauriate Foundation, and what they aim to 35 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 2: do is to choose the Children's auce at for a 36 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:57,880 Speaker 2: period of a couple of years to represent the interests 37 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 2: of obviously children, but read parents, families and really to 38 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:06,320 Speaker 2: choose a mission statement and to spend those two years 39 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:09,680 Speaker 2: and really using that platform for good in a way. 40 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,160 Speaker 2: So my mission statement is all kids can be readers, 41 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:15,119 Speaker 2: And what I mean by that is that we are 42 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 2: always going to have children who struggle to engage with reading, 43 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,560 Speaker 2: So we need to look at really imaginative and really 44 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 2: effective ways to ensure if our children don't acquire the 45 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,960 Speaker 2: reading skills they need for life, how we can ensure 46 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,679 Speaker 2: they can still access stories and have all the benefits 47 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,799 Speaker 2: that we know stories and books can bring them. 48 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:35,000 Speaker 1: Sally, I'm going to link in the podcast show notes 49 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,240 Speaker 1: to our previous conversation for parents who want tips and 50 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:40,520 Speaker 1: ideas on how they can help their children to fall 51 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:43,720 Speaker 1: in love with reading. Rather than us repeating the same 52 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 1: interview again, I don't think that that's beneficial. People can 53 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,079 Speaker 1: go and listen to it. It was genuinely one of 54 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:49,840 Speaker 1: the best conversations that we've had on the pod about 55 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 1: getting kids to read. I really really loved it. What 56 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 1: I'd like to know is you've been doing this now 57 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 1: for eighteen months. The Children's Laureate role is a twenty 58 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:03,040 Speaker 1: four month position. In terms of your goals helping all 59 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,080 Speaker 1: children to become readers and engage in stories. 60 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:07,239 Speaker 2: Was there anything. 61 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 1: Specific that you said, I've got to achieve this. This 62 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,799 Speaker 1: is something that is tangible, it's measurable. I can hang 63 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 1: my hat on saying I did X, Y or Z 64 00:03:15,639 --> 00:03:18,840 Speaker 1: or did it remain a fairly nebulous mission statement. We 65 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:20,360 Speaker 1: need to increase the conversation. 66 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,080 Speaker 2: I think a little bit of both. I think I 67 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 2: made a joke with the program manager of the lawriateship 68 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,560 Speaker 2: that even if by the end of my tenure people 69 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,760 Speaker 2: know we have a laureate and what a lauriate is okay, yes, 70 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:34,239 Speaker 2: But I think also one of the biggest shifts we've 71 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:37,880 Speaker 2: certainly seen, and this is something that parents behind the 72 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 2: scenes have been advocating for years, is the way that 73 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 2: we teach reading. And so this feels like a huge 74 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 2: shift in our understanding of the way that we acquire 75 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 2: reading skills. And there's been a parent support group that 76 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 2: I have been a part of since my younger son 77 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 2: was identified as being dyslexic or dyslexiccourer support group who 78 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 2: have been lobbying for years and years and years to 79 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 2: effectively change the way we teach reading. So we know 80 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 2: now through neuroscience, the way that our brains are actually 81 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 2: rewired to become proficient readers. So we're born with the 82 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,880 Speaker 2: capacity to be able to speak, we hear our parents 83 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,920 Speaker 2: talking through the mother's belly, and so we're born with 84 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 2: oral language, but we're not born with the capacity to read. 85 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:19,480 Speaker 2: So now that this is recognized in science, we also 86 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,960 Speaker 2: can use science to assess which is the best way 87 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:25,200 Speaker 2: to teach reading. And people use the word phonics really loosely. 88 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 2: They kind of throw that around, and that had been 89 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:29,000 Speaker 2: kind of a little bit of a battering ram. But 90 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,479 Speaker 2: there are many things that we can do as parents 91 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,280 Speaker 2: to support the way that we're going to be taught 92 00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:33,560 Speaker 2: to read. 93 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,719 Speaker 1: Let'say, I've got a child who does like to read, 94 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:37,640 Speaker 1: but they only read the one thing. They only read 95 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,480 Speaker 1: the one genre. They only read graphic novels, or they 96 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 1: only read books about dragons, or they only read fairy books, 97 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,640 Speaker 1: or I don't know, whatever the thing is. And as 98 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:50,320 Speaker 1: a parent, I want my children to expand their world. 99 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:52,080 Speaker 1: I want them to think differently. I want them to 100 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 1: recognize that there are so many other genres that could 101 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 1: be enlightening and delightful, and there's so much out there. 102 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 1: How would you encourage a parent to step into that 103 00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 1: conversation or do you think that it's not a conversation 104 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:07,400 Speaker 1: that needs to be had. 105 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:11,160 Speaker 2: Look, I think every conversation is up for having and 106 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:15,039 Speaker 2: I think I think children, like adults, don't like to 107 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:16,880 Speaker 2: be told what to do, and so we like to 108 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 2: feel that we have agency, and so I think choice 109 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:21,920 Speaker 2: can be a really important part of children still being 110 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,160 Speaker 2: interested in engage with reading. And so it might be 111 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,720 Speaker 2: a compromise, you know, maybe you can go to the library, 112 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,839 Speaker 2: or if you can afford to go to bookstore regularly, 113 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:33,120 Speaker 2: maybe the child chooses their own reading material and potentially 114 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,120 Speaker 2: you could choose one that you could read together. I 115 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,799 Speaker 2: think it's really important that kids see adults reading, because 116 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,599 Speaker 2: we don't want to see reading as a punishment. Go 117 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 2: to your room and do your readers the best way 118 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,720 Speaker 2: to turn a child off reading. So boys seeing their 119 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,080 Speaker 2: dad's reading is really really important. And if their dads 120 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 2: are only reading, you know, the newspaper of the sports pages, 121 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:52,640 Speaker 2: then why would a boy want to pick up you know, 122 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 2: pride and prejudice. So we also going to model the 123 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:57,960 Speaker 2: kind of readers we want our children to be. And 124 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,520 Speaker 2: I think also there are other ways just to be 125 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,359 Speaker 2: interested in what your children are interested in, and you 126 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 2: might surprise yourself. You know, my youngest son, even though 127 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,560 Speaker 2: he wasn't a great reader. He went through this stage 128 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,359 Speaker 2: of listening to this horrendous hip hop music, and I 129 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,040 Speaker 2: could have fought against that, but I chose to use 130 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,360 Speaker 2: it as a conversation starter. So I'd let him choose 131 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,360 Speaker 2: the music in the car and I'd say, that's really 132 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 2: interesting about the way they talk about women, and how 133 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 2: do you feel about that, and then we begin a 134 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,960 Speaker 2: conversation around that. So I think books can be the 135 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,919 Speaker 2: same thing. If you're looking at the books that your 136 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:31,000 Speaker 2: children are reading, are being interested and engaged, you're likely 137 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,680 Speaker 2: to find out what it is about that book that 138 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,320 Speaker 2: entices them, and that could be great conversations to have 139 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 2: around that. Maybe they want to talk about the hero 140 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,480 Speaker 2: in the story, maybe they want to talk about the sidekick. 141 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:43,840 Speaker 2: And it's a really interesting way in to where your 142 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:44,920 Speaker 2: child is at. 143 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,479 Speaker 1: I'm listening to you say that, and there are four 144 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,560 Speaker 1: things that I've noted as you're talking that I want 145 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:52,080 Speaker 1: to pull out of it, just for emphasis or to 146 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 1: probe a little deeper. The first thing is together. All 147 00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:59,440 Speaker 1: the best experiences that we have with our kids when 148 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,919 Speaker 1: it comes to read, tend to be together, reading with 149 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 1: your child on your lap when they're young, or laying 150 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:09,120 Speaker 1: on the floor beside them while they're in bed and reading. 151 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:11,560 Speaker 1: I remember reading The Princess Bride by I think it's 152 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 1: William Goldman to my kids, and I did exactly what 153 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 1: the grandpa does in the movies. I skipped over the 154 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,480 Speaker 1: boring bits, because he actually includes some boring bits, even 155 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,520 Speaker 1: though the entire things of work of fiction. I skipped 156 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:21,920 Speaker 1: over the boring bits that he put in the book 157 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,960 Speaker 1: and just read this book and I still just the 158 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:29,560 Speaker 1: love of what a book can give you. The kids 159 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,840 Speaker 1: actually said The Princess Bride that sounds like the worst 160 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:34,280 Speaker 1: book ever, like they really didn't want to read it. 161 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 1: And then as we would get to this twist and 162 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:42,880 Speaker 1: this turn and this plot challenge, and I would pause 163 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,200 Speaker 1: and I'd just say, oh, I guess we have to 164 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 1: finish it right there, and they would scream, no more page, 165 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,360 Speaker 1: one more chapter. And you know you've got them right 166 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:56,440 Speaker 1: when you stop at the climactic moment and you refuse 167 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,080 Speaker 1: to read, and because like they're dying for it. The 168 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 1: way that we can build suspense when I'm reading, there's 169 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:06,920 Speaker 1: a book series that's by Obert Sky, It's called the 170 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:12,120 Speaker 1: leven Thumps series, and putting on the voices so a 171 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:16,520 Speaker 1: character called Geth. He's Sean Connery. Basically in my head 172 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:20,200 Speaker 1: show Geth sweeks like this. And there's Clover, who's this 173 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,800 Speaker 1: little sicker fant who is like a catlike creature from 174 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 1: another world. And Clover speaks in this really high kind 175 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 1: of I don't know, And the kids they fall in 176 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,400 Speaker 1: love with the characters, they fall in love with the voices, 177 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:35,360 Speaker 1: and it becomes this delightful bonding time. You've highlighted the 178 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,760 Speaker 1: importance of together and I don't know that there's a 179 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:40,760 Speaker 1: more powerful and profound way to help kids to fall 180 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 1: in love with reading. Why because they fall in love 181 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,319 Speaker 1: with you. I wonder if you have any reactions to that. 182 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,520 Speaker 2: Oh my heart just sings when you say all of that, 183 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 2: because I think we were chatting before about how addicta's 184 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,839 Speaker 2: screens are, and they are they're created to make all 185 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:58,400 Speaker 2: of us addicted. I had to consciously put my phone 186 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 2: to one side if I want to be able to read. 187 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,679 Speaker 2: But phone is never going to give you the connection 188 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,679 Speaker 2: like that. I mean, all people crave to be seen, 189 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,640 Speaker 2: to have someone fully present with them, it doesn't matter 190 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 2: how old we are, and to be able to do 191 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 2: that with a child, there's nothing more magical, and so 192 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:17,040 Speaker 2: there's actually no competition when if you're really serious about it, 193 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:20,320 Speaker 2: if you can put down all your distractions and be 194 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,839 Speaker 2: so present with a child, even just for a short 195 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:26,400 Speaker 2: moment each day, what a beautiful thing that a book offers. 196 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:28,880 Speaker 2: And of course there are many people who may find 197 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:32,760 Speaker 2: that challenging. They may not be proficient readers themselves, they 198 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,120 Speaker 2: may be just exhausted at the end of the day. 199 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,560 Speaker 2: So listen to an audiobook together and talk about it. 200 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:40,880 Speaker 2: You know, there are so many sophisticated stories that you 201 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:43,600 Speaker 2: can share with your children that a child appropriate. You know, 202 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,720 Speaker 2: they don't have to be some of the stuff that 203 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:48,760 Speaker 2: you watch together on television. You might kind of hesitate 204 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 2: about bringing a small child into that space, but you 205 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:56,559 Speaker 2: can have complex ideas you can talk about really branch 206 00:09:56,640 --> 00:10:01,200 Speaker 2: into emotional awareness by reading books together or listening to audiobooks. 207 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,480 Speaker 2: And like you say, it's the greatest connection you can 208 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:06,040 Speaker 2: have with the chart and it can take practice. It 209 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:08,120 Speaker 2: doesn't come easily for everybody, but it's so well. 210 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:20,000 Speaker 1: So we are joined today by Sally Rippon, prolific author, 211 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:24,160 Speaker 1: current Australian Children's Laureate, and over the last eighteen months 212 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,800 Speaker 1: Sally has been traveling locally and internationally to talk about 213 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 1: the way that we can share stories and support children 214 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:33,400 Speaker 1: who might struggle to read. Sally, you do these interviews 215 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,320 Speaker 1: all the time, day in, day out. You're talking to 216 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,000 Speaker 1: people about the same stuff all the time, getting kids 217 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,640 Speaker 1: to love reading, and trying to achieve your overarching mission 218 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:43,880 Speaker 1: of helping books to be part of children's lives. Because 219 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:45,599 Speaker 1: you do so many of these interviews, I have a 220 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:48,679 Speaker 1: question that's going to be quite different, and it's putting 221 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:51,520 Speaker 1: a lot of pressure on you as I asked this question, 222 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 1: So I apologize for this, But because you get so 223 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:56,400 Speaker 1: many of the same questions, I'd love to know what's 224 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,959 Speaker 1: the best question that you've been asked recently. What's a 225 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:02,480 Speaker 1: question that you've pulled and gone wow. I wish more 226 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:03,840 Speaker 1: people ask questions like that. 227 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:06,640 Speaker 2: Oh, you have put me on the spot, even though 228 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:09,680 Speaker 2: you warned me you would ask this one. I think 229 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,760 Speaker 2: questions can be really confronting, and this is something I 230 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,560 Speaker 2: really learned raising teenagers as well. Is that just to 231 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:17,960 Speaker 2: put someone on the spot and ask a teenager a 232 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:21,240 Speaker 2: question I always find really challenging. Your mind goes blank 233 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:24,640 Speaker 2: and you can't come up with anything funny or or smart. 234 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:27,720 Speaker 2: So I think for me, I have found the most 235 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:30,920 Speaker 2: interesting conversations have come from what we're doing right now. 236 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,480 Speaker 2: I'm really interested in who you are and how you 237 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,880 Speaker 2: think and what your experiences are, and in turn, then 238 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:40,520 Speaker 2: it prompts me to exchange some of my experiences. And 239 00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 2: I found that really with my three boys as they 240 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:46,679 Speaker 2: were growing up, particularly as teenagers, that I think people 241 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 2: forget to listen to teenagers, and I certainly would often 242 00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:52,400 Speaker 2: make those mistakes, and teenage boys can be really hard 243 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,120 Speaker 2: to get out of their shelves, and so I would 244 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:59,360 Speaker 2: find ways to incidentally have conversations and connections with them. 245 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:02,600 Speaker 2: So you know, the parallel sitting in a car having conversation, 246 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:06,720 Speaker 2: listening to music, going on walks together is so much 247 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:10,280 Speaker 2: less confronting than just sitting across the table from them 248 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:12,280 Speaker 2: and saying, how is your day? Then they don't know 249 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:16,920 Speaker 2: what to so probably maybe what I'll do by answering 250 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,600 Speaker 2: that question is give an example of a teenager who 251 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 2: I felt answered the question of all the adults in 252 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,280 Speaker 2: the room. And so I was lucky enough to be 253 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 2: asked to attend a PD for teachers out at a 254 00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 2: massive school and vulnerable talking to them about how we 255 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:33,880 Speaker 2: can best support neurodivision kids in the classroom. And before me, 256 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,520 Speaker 2: who was supposedly the expert because I've written a book 257 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 2: for parents and supporting eurodivision kids, they asked a year 258 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:41,679 Speaker 2: eight girl to get up and do a PowerPoint and 259 00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:44,120 Speaker 2: talk about what it was like to have ADHD and 260 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 2: go through school. And she prepared this beautiful PowerPoint and 261 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,920 Speaker 2: she talked about the challenges but some of the cool 262 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,960 Speaker 2: things about having ADHD too, And when it was time 263 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 2: for me to stand up, I was like, my job 264 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,360 Speaker 2: here is done. Pretty much. She is telling you everything 265 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,080 Speaker 2: you need. You don't need to hear it from me. 266 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:01,959 Speaker 2: You actually just needed to hear it from your young people. 267 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,760 Speaker 2: Ask them what is it like in the classroom for you? 268 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 2: Is I to challenge what are the challenges? And kids 269 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:11,000 Speaker 2: can have the most amazing responses. And that's how I 270 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,920 Speaker 2: try to stay open and keep learning. Is actually turning 271 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,720 Speaker 2: around on other people and asking them, you know, what 272 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:19,320 Speaker 2: are you thinking? Especially young people. Young people are so 273 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:20,840 Speaker 2: happy if you asked them that question. 274 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,680 Speaker 1: Yes, Sally, another one. I love the experience, but number two, 275 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,480 Speaker 1: my summary of what you've said when I'm asking you 276 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:29,080 Speaker 1: one of the best questions you've been asked recently is 277 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:30,840 Speaker 1: is that it's not really about the questions. It's about 278 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 1: the dialogue. It's about the insight that comes as we 279 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,720 Speaker 1: bounce ideas off each other, which means that if we 280 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 1: want our kids to engage with us and converse with 281 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:41,559 Speaker 1: us and open up books and read them, it really 282 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 1: is about somehow, as you said, bringing them out of 283 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:48,080 Speaker 1: their shells and helping them to be open and curious 284 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,720 Speaker 1: and consider that there might be a worldview or an 285 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:53,319 Speaker 1: opportunity to step into empathy that they hadn't considered before. 286 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,760 Speaker 2: Absolutely, and for us to model that we need to 287 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:58,600 Speaker 2: be open and curious as to how they see the 288 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,040 Speaker 2: world and how they're going. 289 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,600 Speaker 1: With Yeah, Yeah, beautiful. Modeling seems to be coming up 290 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,160 Speaker 1: over and over and again in this conversation. In your 291 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:09,520 Speaker 1: last answer, you referred to curiosity and your love of 292 00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:12,800 Speaker 1: asking questions. This is an unusual thing for the guy 293 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:17,000 Speaker 1: who's doing the interview to do, but you're obviously a 294 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:20,240 Speaker 1: prolific author, You're right for children all the time, and 295 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,000 Speaker 1: you think deeply about a lot of things. I've got 296 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,240 Speaker 1: a PhD in psychology and we share a lot of 297 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:29,840 Speaker 1: mixed interests. I'm wondering if you have anything that you're 298 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,920 Speaker 1: curious about that you like, let's turn the tables. Is 299 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,000 Speaker 1: there something that you would ask me. 300 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:36,200 Speaker 2: I love that. I think that's such fun. 301 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:38,520 Speaker 1: I've always a bit nervous about it. It's like, am I 302 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,440 Speaker 1: putting this person on the spot. It's am I making 303 00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:43,360 Speaker 1: this conversation about me? Is this too narcissistic? An ego oriented? 304 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,160 Speaker 1: It is not meant to be. It's just I think 305 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:47,800 Speaker 1: it's about the dialogue. 306 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:56,040 Speaker 2: Right that. I'm really curious in how you find boys 307 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,520 Speaker 2: are managing in the world. I know you're writing and 308 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:03,280 Speaker 2: researching a book about boys, but you also were a boy, 309 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:07,640 Speaker 2: and so I know there was some really interesting conversations 310 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,960 Speaker 2: that you started around adolescents the series that I think 311 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:13,440 Speaker 2: a lot of people have seen, And I wonder how 312 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,080 Speaker 2: you feel like boys are fairing and doing the research 313 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 2: and studying this book. I brought up three boys, but 314 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:21,320 Speaker 2: my youngest is now twenty two. I think it's hard 315 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:24,680 Speaker 2: for them. And even my kids were adolescents. 316 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:27,000 Speaker 1: So first of all, adolescents that the Netflix series turned 317 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,080 Speaker 1: the world upside down, and I did write a lot 318 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,240 Speaker 1: about it. One thing that I didn't do and the 319 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:34,400 Speaker 1: series have been criticized quite a lot. Is statistically it's 320 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:38,240 Speaker 1: quite unrealistic that the events portrayed in the series would 321 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 1: actually occur, and I think that that's definitely worth noting. 322 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,360 Speaker 1: But those people who are getting caught up on that 323 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,480 Speaker 1: are missing the broader point, and that is that there 324 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,680 Speaker 1: is a really big challenge for our boys today in 325 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:52,240 Speaker 1: terms of how they are relating to one another, how 326 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:55,600 Speaker 1: they're relating to girls, and how they're relating to themselves, 327 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:59,400 Speaker 1: their quest for identity. It's really a really tough time. 328 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,880 Speaker 1: The short version is, I don't think that boys on 329 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:06,040 Speaker 1: the whole are doing nearly as well. I've got a 330 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,840 Speaker 1: whole lot of stats in my new book about how 331 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,640 Speaker 1: for every ten girls who finish high school, only eight 332 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 1: boys do. For every ten girls that go to university, 333 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:15,160 Speaker 1: only seven boys do. For every girl who graduate university, 334 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,840 Speaker 1: the only six point seven boys do, and so on. 335 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:21,200 Speaker 1: And then when we look at the negative behaviors being 336 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:25,360 Speaker 1: involved in fights or taking drugs or blah blah blah, 337 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,320 Speaker 1: as boys get older, for every ten girls who are 338 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,680 Speaker 1: doing it, there are multiples of that in the boy 339 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:31,560 Speaker 1: side of things that are doing it. The boy side 340 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:35,120 Speaker 1: of the equation. So to me, that's a really big 341 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 1: challenge that we're facing. In Harry Potter and the Curse Child, 342 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,600 Speaker 1: the Harry Potter book that was not written by JK. 343 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:44,080 Speaker 1: Rowling and the one that went on to become the 344 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:49,200 Speaker 1: stage play, the authors have Draco Malfoy and Harry as 345 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:53,360 Speaker 1: adults having a conversation about their teenage children. Draco has 346 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 1: this beautiful, beautiful line that he delivers to Harry as 347 00:16:56,600 --> 00:17:02,760 Speaker 1: they're having this really challenged discussion. Raco says, people say 348 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:06,280 Speaker 1: that parenting is the toughest job there is. It's not 349 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:11,840 Speaker 1: growing up is, And I just there's so much empathy 350 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:16,840 Speaker 1: in that. There's so much beauty in that really simple observation. 351 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,680 Speaker 1: And I think about your question, and I asked myself, 352 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,639 Speaker 1: born in nineteen seventy five, I'm fifty this year. Would 353 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:27,880 Speaker 1: I rather be a child of the seventies and eighties 354 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:30,919 Speaker 1: or would I rather be a child today? And I 355 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,879 Speaker 1: don't have to think about it for a millisecond. I 356 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:37,080 Speaker 1: know the answer. And writing this book about boys has 357 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:41,040 Speaker 1: been a really profound experience for me, especially as a 358 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,920 Speaker 1: father of girls, to step into the world of boys, 359 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:46,719 Speaker 1: to look at the things that they're doing to demonstrate 360 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:50,359 Speaker 1: that their masculinity isn't precarious, The way they're trying to 361 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:54,720 Speaker 1: either embrace or fight against manbox beliefs, the way that 362 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:58,639 Speaker 1: they police one another with this boy code, the impact, 363 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:05,840 Speaker 1: the overarch devastating impact of pornography in their lives, and 364 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:10,480 Speaker 1: so much more. It's really tough. I mean, you've raised 365 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,359 Speaker 1: three boys. When you look at what they've been through, 366 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,640 Speaker 1: would you rather be a girl or a boy being 367 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:16,240 Speaker 1: raised today? 368 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:19,840 Speaker 2: I one hundred percent agree with you. I think it's 369 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:25,119 Speaker 2: I think what women have had as an umbrella and 370 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 2: as a model is feminism, so we have something to 371 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:32,080 Speaker 2: work towards. Yes, what men have been living under, young 372 00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:36,600 Speaker 2: men is this umbrella of toxic masculinity. So they're saying, well, 373 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:39,200 Speaker 2: what who do I model myself on? You know, what 374 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:43,359 Speaker 2: do I aspire to? Just identifying as a straight white 375 00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:46,800 Speaker 2: man can actually make them feel bad about themselves because 376 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,760 Speaker 2: of how that term is used today. And I think 377 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:54,480 Speaker 2: it's really sad that boys are finding it so hard 378 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:56,600 Speaker 2: to get the support they need because we have got 379 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:59,680 Speaker 2: so good at knowing how to support girls, at giving 380 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,600 Speaker 2: them go to work towards. And I think there is 381 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,399 Speaker 2: an empty space now that boys don't know how to 382 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,840 Speaker 2: step into. But I also just want to jump in 383 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:11,639 Speaker 2: and say how much I love it that the answer 384 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:16,160 Speaker 2: to your questions came from what is essentially a children's book, 385 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:21,439 Speaker 2: and I just think, here, I guess here's the problem solving. 386 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,960 Speaker 2: Is that if we do engage with the child's world, 387 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,040 Speaker 2: if we do access what children are going through, and 388 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,960 Speaker 2: we can do this through watching things with them, talking 389 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,399 Speaker 2: about the books they're reading or the music they're listening to, 390 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,120 Speaker 2: whether you like it or not, there is a portal 391 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,000 Speaker 2: there that we can not only access our own childhoods 392 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,760 Speaker 2: and remember how we felt growing up, but hopefully from 393 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,360 Speaker 2: that space connect with our own children, because yeah, it's 394 00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:46,800 Speaker 2: really hard and it's very different when we're growing up. 395 00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:49,320 Speaker 2: So if we're not tuning into that, we're going to 396 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,280 Speaker 2: miss opportunities to connect with them. And that was my 397 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:54,640 Speaker 2: takeaway from adolescents that they lost connection with their son. 398 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,720 Speaker 2: You know, whether or not those things he did could 399 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,400 Speaker 2: have really happened. For me, The key was as soon 400 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:02,360 Speaker 2: as you lose connection with your child, someone else would 401 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,000 Speaker 2: jump in and make that connection with them, and that's 402 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:06,879 Speaker 2: where the danger starts. Believe. 403 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:10,240 Speaker 1: So my definition of connection is when you feel seen, 404 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:11,040 Speaker 1: heard and valued. 405 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, that your parent is really present there for you 406 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,240 Speaker 2: and curious to how you feel. 407 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,359 Speaker 1: And I'm not sure that there are too many better 408 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:20,320 Speaker 1: ways to create connection, to create a feeling of being seen, 409 00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:22,600 Speaker 1: heard and valued than to sit down and read a 410 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:23,119 Speaker 1: book together. 411 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,600 Speaker 2: Absolutely, that's the takeaway for today. 412 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:30,080 Speaker 1: I reckon it's a pretty tidy way to finish this conversation, unplanned, unscripted. 413 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:31,280 Speaker 2: But I like it so good. 414 00:20:32,119 --> 00:20:35,760 Speaker 1: Sally Rippin The Australian Children's Laureate eighteen months into a 415 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:39,159 Speaker 1: twenty four month stint, and again, such a delight to 416 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,000 Speaker 1: talk with you. I love our conversations every time. Thank 417 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,160 Speaker 1: you for being with me on The Happy Family's podcast. 418 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:46,760 Speaker 2: It's always much pleasure. And I'm so glad that it 419 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:48,760 Speaker 2: remained open and curious, because I think that's how the 420 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:49,800 Speaker 2: best conversations are. 421 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:51,679 Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you so much. We will link to some 422 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,360 Speaker 1: notes about the Australian Children's Laureate in the show notes, 423 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:57,160 Speaker 1: as well as a couple of more popular series of 424 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,720 Speaker 1: Sally's In case you have young kids who would love 425 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:03,040 Speaker 1: to or who you would love to have those mind 426 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,680 Speaker 1: expanding experiences, check the show notes for that. The Happy 427 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,280 Speaker 1: Families podcast is produced by Justin Roland for Bridge Media. 428 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:12,359 Speaker 1: Mim Hammonds looks after research, admin and resources. If you 429 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,840 Speaker 1: would like more information about making your family happier, visit 430 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:18,320 Speaker 1: us at happy families dot com, dot a