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Speaker 1: You'll have to excuse my nasalliness. What's happened just to

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Speaker 1: have been sick earlier this week? At first I had

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Speaker 1: like tap nose, and then yesterday I was okay, I

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Speaker 1: had a surf and stuff great, and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I still a little bit. I woke up this morning.

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Speaker 1: My fuck, I'm so stuffy. So I've been like zer tech,

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Speaker 1: tell fast, I'm hopped.

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Speaker 2: Up, man, nothing's working nah nah.

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Speaker 1: And like usually i'd use vix. Didn't have any victs

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Speaker 1: been using their like the child's at the Yuki Bear one.

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Speaker 2: What's that?

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Speaker 1: It's kind of like a softer version of vix. Im

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Speaker 1: hav any vics in the house.

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Speaker 2: I could always do that, but it's use what's here?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Anyways, what I would do is I'd usually put

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Speaker 1: like a little bit on the inside of my nose

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Speaker 1: to try and clear it's a bit Bernie. And what

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Speaker 1: I did was I didn't realize I had a little

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Speaker 1: bit extra on the end of my fingernail, and I

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Speaker 1: did a little sniffle and a goop of that Yuki

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Speaker 1: Bear stuff went straight up into my brain. And have

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Speaker 1: you seen that meme of the cat? And they're like

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Speaker 1: I was like that just rapid fires. Rapid fires, easy

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Speaker 1: straight to my brain. And afterwards, because I had sneezed

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Speaker 1: so much, the inside of my nose has inflated and

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Speaker 1: just shut It's fine.

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Speaker 2: I thought you're going to tell me that it like

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Speaker 2: clead you up, so now you're just doing rails of

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Speaker 2: this year.

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Speaker 1: Give me. I didn't see it on the end of

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Speaker 1: my finger, and it literally hit the back of my

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Speaker 1: head quick as anything, and I was like and before

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Speaker 1: I actually did that sneaze thing, I was like, oh no,

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Speaker 1: this is not going to be good. It's like when

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Speaker 1: you've got an itchy inner ear and you're like, how

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Speaker 1: do I scratch it?

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Speaker 2: And you're like, oh, she's coughing up fur balls And anyway,

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Speaker 2: you sound quite cute.

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Speaker 1: I seemed like a cute little boy. I want to

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Speaker 1: give you a kettle after.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to two doing dads. I'm Maddie J. And

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Speaker 2: I'm ashsh It's a nicer version of ash Well.

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Speaker 1: You were like, you got this like sexy husk, and

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Speaker 1: I ended up with this nasally little annoying kid. Oh

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Speaker 1: can you please wipe my nose? You're like, hey, ladies,

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Speaker 1: I'm Maddy J.

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Speaker 2: If you need any toilet breaks. Mate, just let me

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Speaker 2: know and I'll take you upstairs.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 2: This is a podcast all about parenting.

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Speaker 1: It's the good, the bad, and the relatable.

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Speaker 2: And as always, zero advice will be given.

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Speaker 1: Well we don't know. We always say that and then somehow.

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Speaker 2: We offer a peppering of sun.

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Speaker 1: It's not advised. It's just like what we've done in

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Speaker 1: that situation. So but if you are here for advice.

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Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no no no no. We're drinking something

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Speaker 2: a little bit different today.

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Speaker 1: Ash we are because you're doing dry July.

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Speaker 2: Well I'm doing I'm doing a version of version and

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Speaker 2: I'll explain why a little bit later, but yeah, I

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Speaker 2: will be doing the tail end of the month will

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Speaker 2: be a dry July for me. So yeah, I'm not

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Speaker 2: going to do it.

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Speaker 1: It's a sprinkling of July.

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Speaker 2: Four weeks is a long time.

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Speaker 1: It is a long time too.

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Speaker 2: And I'm very much a believer in moderation.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, I think that's.

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Speaker 2: So three weeks is better than none. Yeah, so it's

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Speaker 2: two weeks.

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Speaker 1: And of course, because you're going on your honeymoon, I

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Speaker 1: will I will have a dry honey You.

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Speaker 2: Don't want to get into that, so I'll go into

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Speaker 2: the honeymoon in a second, but for now, we're going

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Speaker 2: to have a better beer, zero alcohol.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'm gonna have one, cheers, cheers.

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Speaker 2: That tastes like a normal beer.

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Speaker 1: It does. Actually, it's hard for me the moment to

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Speaker 1: taste because I can't smell anything. But that's all right,

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Speaker 1: it's pretty good. I don't know how it's refreshing.

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Speaker 2: Actually, how the fuck do they make beer with no alcohol?

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Speaker 1: It is they just right on the side of it

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Speaker 1: that there's no for cebo. But yeah, it's actually it

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Speaker 1: tastes like I love. How have you noticed on the

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Speaker 1: top of the cant says morning for it.

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Speaker 2: Whoever's doing the copywriting it better beer, give him a raise?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, thank you, better be for having us.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I will be well by the time his

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Speaker 2: podcast comes out, Ash.

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Speaker 1: I will be Island life baby.

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Speaker 2: And Fiji a coconut in hands.

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Speaker 1: And you're taking the kids too?

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Speaker 2: Yes? Yes? Is that stupid? Probably?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, waste take me instead.

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Speaker 2: Sorry. At the airport, Laura is just.

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Speaker 1: Like he's gonna sit on my lap. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Look, I got the guilts about taking them with us,

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Speaker 2: Like I just know, and I.

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Speaker 1: Say this, they're at an age now where they'll have

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Speaker 1: a lot of fun.

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Speaker 2: They'll have a lot of fun, and dude, Mali is pumped.

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Speaker 2: We've got this, you know. Four nights, three nights were

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Speaker 2: Candy down to Fiji and she goes to daycare. Daycare

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Speaker 2: was great and they do like hello and goodbye, different languages.

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Speaker 2: And then I get up and she's like dad, bulla

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh, well, that's bloody your door.

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Speaker 1: It was like, don't be one of those white people

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Speaker 1: in a different country trying to say the language. Embarrassing.

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Speaker 1: That's like April does that. I went to Fiji with

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Speaker 1: April's mum and she was like bulla. When I went

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Speaker 1: to Japan and I was like, I'm not here long

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Speaker 1: enough to try, so I was like, get.

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Speaker 2: A, hey, are you one of those people who still

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Speaker 2: speaks in like slang when you're overseas?

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Speaker 1: So no worries, mate, Yeah, I'll see your savo the

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Speaker 1: sava and they're like sob me. But anyway, So in

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Speaker 1: trudge of you going on your honeymoon and congratulations, I

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Speaker 1: mean you got married November November, and now I mean

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Speaker 1: that's what happens when you have children.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for reminding me. We did things a little

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Speaker 2: bit backwards. We were going to get married before Lola

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Speaker 2: came out, but then COVID came and we thought, hey,

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Speaker 2: what should we do. Well, my sister pregnant again and then.

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Speaker 1: We'll just get sucking again.

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Speaker 2: We even thought like do we even have it? It's

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Speaker 2: not It's one of those honeymoons. I guess can we

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Speaker 2: help you? April Hi.

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Speaker 1: Getting your hand done? Go and saw that regrowth out?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, isn't she darling?

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Speaker 1: That puts up with me?

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Speaker 2: Sorry, babe, did not want to be on the podcast.

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Speaker 1: By Maddie Jay. She was like, oh my god, Maddie

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Speaker 1: Jay's in my house. Anyway. You were getting back to

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Speaker 1: that you did things backwards, But the Australian public begs

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Speaker 1: to differ because, as we all know, you all found

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Speaker 1: love on our screens. It was just a commitment ring

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Speaker 1: at that point, which that's why I don't watch The

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Speaker 1: Bachelor anymore. I want to see for weddings.

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Speaker 2: I'm getting ask I thought your nasal just went.

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Speaker 1: Just went. This guy needs to sound sexy. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: you did things backwards, and you're gonna leave me for

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Speaker 1: a whole week. For a week, it's a holiday away

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Speaker 1: from me. I think that's really what I'm going to

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Speaker 1: miss you.

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Speaker 2: I missed it, will I will it's this will be

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Speaker 2: the longest that we've been apart since we started recording

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Speaker 2: the podcast together, about eleven weeks.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we could do one online.

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Speaker 2: We'll have a week off. When I come back, I'll

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Speaker 2: give you an update on how the honeymoon when. I'm

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Speaker 2: sure it'll be a fucking disaster.

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Speaker 1: And we won't miss it. We're not missing an episode.

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Speaker 1: So just so you just heard then Maddie said we're

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Speaker 1: going to have a week off. We are going to

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Speaker 1: have a week off technically, but we're going to get

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Speaker 1: an episode out the day it's due back. Not that

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Speaker 1: people really care that we're having a week off, thank god.

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Speaker 2: I was saying it like people right now are hyperventilating

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Speaker 2: at home, but where will they be? No one gives

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Speaker 2: a shit, They're like, what whoever?

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Speaker 1: I'm sure what are we going to work out too?

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Speaker 2: Now?

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Speaker 1: I don't know music? Like a normal person.

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Speaker 2: Who was that blokey messaged you about doing his PB.

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Speaker 1: What did he say? His last name was Awkward? So

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Speaker 1: Andrew Awkward Andrew.

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Speaker 2: And we're not making this up.

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Speaker 1: No, we're not making this up. And thank you for

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Speaker 1: the message. I know I didn't respond, but I did

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Speaker 1: screenshot it send it to Matthew. Apparently he's set a

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Speaker 1: Strava record. It must be in his local area. I

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Speaker 1: don't know, listening to our podcast how that work.

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Speaker 2: I do not understand how that's possible. Surely you what

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Speaker 2: do you run with a game? What was your playlist?

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Speaker 1: Hans Zimmer?

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Speaker 2: Hans Zimmer, So Andrew, if you're listening, give.

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Speaker 1: Us a break straight to Hans Zimmer? What was the

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Speaker 1: Pirates of the Caribbean medley? Get it done?

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Speaker 2: We listened to it last week.

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Speaker 1: It's like a crack.

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Speaker 2: I looked over and you're just whipping up glow sticks.

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Speaker 1: Were I was just like, do you know what, matt

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Speaker 1: you want to get to me? Emails done? I've never

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Speaker 1: seen so much smoke off a keyboard.

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Speaker 2: I do have to be honest, though, Ash and I

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Speaker 2: don't want to bring the mood down here fuck at all.

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Speaker 2: It's been a tough week for me, a bit, a

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Speaker 2: bit of a hard week. Would appreciate it if you

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Speaker 2: did not roll your eyes as I open enough and

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Speaker 2: be vulnerable to you on the podcast.

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Speaker 1: That's very inappropriate of me. You consider it I would say, yeah,

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Speaker 1: what's up, mate, what what's happened?

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm glad you asked, Thank you very much.

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Speaker 1: It's okay.

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Speaker 2: My kids hate me?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we already you that shambles of a birthday party.

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Speaker 1: You through them, and I don't blame them. No, what's

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Speaker 1: why do your kids hate you, Matthew? That's the look.

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Speaker 1: They don't hate you, No, they do. I do, like, literally,

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Speaker 1: do they not what?

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Speaker 2: They don't want to? Fucking bar of me?

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Speaker 1: Be done nothing, dude.

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Speaker 2: I'm delivering the goods. The issue is Laura is now

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Speaker 2: back in the picture after.

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Speaker 1: From exile Island.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, she's back in the picture. And the kids

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Speaker 2: are like, that's.

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Speaker 1: Right, we have her. Mom.

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Speaker 2: You're you're a better parent than he is because Laura was.

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Speaker 2: We talked about the fact that she was away a

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Speaker 2: lot in training blah blah blah blah, and so I

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Speaker 2: was just, you know, as default. I became the favorite parent. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: for the very first.

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Speaker 1: Time, one parent, favorite parent. It's like if you do

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Speaker 1: a one horse race, yes you won that race.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I was like the Stephen parenting.

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Speaker 1: No no wrong analogy, because that means there would have

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Speaker 1: been people falling down in front of you, but that's

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Speaker 1: not the right analogy is similar that guy in the

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Speaker 1: Sydney Olympics who swam the race on his own.

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Speaker 2: Eric the Eel.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, you're our Eric the Eel. It was slow,

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Speaker 1: but you got there in the end.

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Speaker 2: So Laura is back in the mix. They just I

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Speaker 2: don't know what it's saying with Oscar, but just like

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Speaker 2: everything I'm talking having breakfast, if I make the toast,

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Speaker 2: both of them are like, we don't want Tom to

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Speaker 2: make butter head so much. Do you guys fight?

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Speaker 1: We're like brothers. Yeah, we're talking about I was talking

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Speaker 1: about this the other day where it's like I don't

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Speaker 1: discipline him, really, we just bicker. So like I was

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Speaker 1: laying on his bed and he's like, that's my bed

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Speaker 1: and I was like, no, it's not. Technically I own

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Speaker 1: this is I own this bed, you get to sleep

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Speaker 1: on it. It's like, no, Todd the ration Now he

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Speaker 1: doesn't understand the sarcasm. He's like he's like, no, it's

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Speaker 1: my bed, and I'm like it's mine, and Mummy's like,

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Speaker 1: like Daddy's stopping so mean antagonizing him. So I whispered

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Speaker 1: to him, this is my fucking bed. He ran after Mum,

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Speaker 1: being like he said it really quietly, and I was like, no,

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Speaker 1: I didn't. Then he comes back and I'm like, you're

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Speaker 1: a dobbin on me.

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Speaker 2: Now, this is like I imagine you guys are like

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Speaker 2: step brothers the movie.

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Speaker 1: We hug it out a lot.

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Speaker 2: We're like Oscar walks past and you're just rubbing your bullsack.

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Speaker 1: B Yeah, it's a bit like that. But yeah, my

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Speaker 1: kids they're just off here because Mom's back.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, even eat, even brushing their hair. Like if they

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Speaker 2: see me with a brush in hand and we have

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Speaker 2: like a pink brush, it's like I'm coming at them

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Speaker 2: with a fucking ice pick, Like, ma, No.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't know how to do it properly. It hurts,

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Speaker 1: really hurts.

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Speaker 2: You feeling, and dude, I can I brush it better

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Speaker 2: than Laura. Laura's there ripping hairs out, and I'm so gentle.

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Speaker 2: I'm delicate.

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Speaker 1: You should do the start counting and I can't how

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Speaker 1: many times to one hundred and one.

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Speaker 2: I try everything. They don't want to buy it. But

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Speaker 2: the only time it's kind of working in my favor

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Speaker 2: is in the middle of the night. Lola will occasionally

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Speaker 2: wake up still and she'll be crying and she'll just

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Speaker 2: go like mum. I'd say, hey, I'd go and.

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Speaker 1: Get her, but the fuck out of bed.

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Speaker 2: And I've gone in there before. This is at like

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Speaker 2: two in the morning, and she's like, she's screaming and

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Speaker 2: she wants to cuddle. And then she stops and she

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Speaker 2: looks at me like squinting because it's still very dark.

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Speaker 1: And she's like, not you just see you walking in

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Speaker 1: there with a wig on.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, just give me some affection anything I need.

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Speaker 1: It's like those videos where their dad's feeding the kid

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Speaker 1: a bottle and they've got the iPad with the mum's

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Speaker 1: picture on it. You walk into the room with an

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Speaker 1: iPad strapped to your face. This has got Laura's days

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Speaker 1: on it.

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Speaker 2: That's what I need to do, because it's cutting.

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Speaker 1: Me real deep. The dynamics change.

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Speaker 2: At the start, I was like, ah, lol, like you're

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Speaker 2: the favorite. And now it's four days in and I can't.

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Speaker 2: I can't even touch my kids.

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Speaker 1: It's like they're trying to oust you.

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Speaker 2: They're trying to get me out of the front.

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Speaker 1: Dynamics change, mate, get with it. You need to start

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Speaker 1: favoring the dog much more.

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Speaker 2: No, I don't want him anymore. He's got three legs.

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Speaker 1: See the poor thing, poor he's got one more leg

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Speaker 1: than each of your.

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Speaker 2: Children over and I'm like, anyone love me? And yeah,

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Speaker 2: like please can we just have a cut. I'm now

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Speaker 2: bust out.

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Speaker 1: He's just sitting there with a big erect.

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Speaker 2: For anyone who doesn't know my dog, he's got an

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Speaker 2: erection problem and he's got three legs. That's what That's

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Speaker 2: what I've left with, a three legged dog with a

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Speaker 2: fucking erection problem.

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Speaker 1: He's always got a start on your dog. What's the

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Speaker 1: deal with that? Well, he's he's like I see on

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Speaker 1: the other dogs with four legs.

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Speaker 2: Anyway. So that's what I'm dealing with at the moment.

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Speaker 2: A Debbie Downer.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'll be fine.

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Speaker 2: I'll be fine.

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Speaker 1: I know you'll be okay, and the dymonaum will change again.

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Speaker 1: It'll change when when I don't know, mate, I'm not

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Speaker 1: an expert.

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Speaker 2: I can tell me.

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Speaker 1: I'll come up with it. I'll let you know when

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Speaker 1: I'll have a chat with Marley and say, look, we

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Speaker 1: all know your dad's a loser. We get it cut

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Speaker 1: in some slack.

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Speaker 2: Do you ever to try and win over Macy or Oscar?

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Speaker 2: Do you ever try and like sneak in some chocolate

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Speaker 2: or treats.

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Speaker 1: That's April's that's what April does. So yesterday afternoon, Oscar

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Speaker 1: was being a shithead. They're turns, kids are turns. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I think we've established and he was being a turd

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Speaker 1: to Masie, being a turd to me, and Mummy's in

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Speaker 1: the fridge secretly eating chocolate. Oscar, here's the chocolate wrapping

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Speaker 1: like it's a dog whistle. He's like, what have you got?

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Speaker 2: Something's happening.

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Speaker 1: He runs to the kitchen and I'm like, don't give

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Speaker 1: him any chocolate. He's been a little ship. How can

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Speaker 1: I get through? And she was like I'm not. I'm not.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, show your hands, and he's like open your mouth,

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Speaker 1: a bit of chocolate in his mouth. I'm like what.

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Speaker 1: So she's like here, it's okay, okay, daddy's been mean

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Speaker 1: to you and I'm not. I'm trying to protect Macy and.

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Speaker 2: I thought you would be the like this secret chocolate.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, no, if I'm drunk, I'm drunk. And I'll

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Speaker 1: also do the thing where it's like if I come home,

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Speaker 1: like if I've been out or whatever, or and I've

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Speaker 1: had a couple of beers. I come home and have

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Speaker 1: a shower and I was still awake, and he's in

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Speaker 1: our bed, like having a cuddle with mom and you know,

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Speaker 1: watching his watching iPad or whatever they're doing, having a

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Speaker 1: sleepover party. I'll be like, go and give me a cuddle,

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Speaker 1: and like he'll get to sleep in the bed all

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Speaker 1: night with us because I'm like, but yeah, look, I'm

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Speaker 1: not the one sneaking. We've spoken about April putting chocolate.

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Speaker 2: In his lunch taking the daycare.

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Speaker 1: I who's these two and she's just and I found

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Speaker 1: out that she gives him chocolate every night.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, you, what's your health? And would the kids

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Speaker 2: get treats with you?

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Speaker 1: Well, I'm drunk every night, so every night with me

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Speaker 1: if Oscar's on fire, like the other day, took him

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Speaker 1: down to the shops, We did the big Shop. He

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Speaker 1: was a good boy the whole time, had a play

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Speaker 1: in the park, ate some lunch top behavior. Kinder surprise.

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Speaker 1: There you go, big fella kind of surprise. After I've

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Speaker 1: given him the kind of surprise, he's a ship for

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Speaker 1: the rest of the day, but for the start earned

356
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:11,040
Speaker 1: that kind of surprise. Will earn situation. But like he's

357
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Speaker 1: just at that age where he's just like testing the

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Speaker 1: boundaries all the time, especially when it's like sharing things.

359
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Speaker 1: Just doesn't know how to share, right. He's got like

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Speaker 1: this little sister, and we're going through this thing. And

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Speaker 1: I was another kid's party because I didn't want to

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Speaker 1: go to your ship party. I did.

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Speaker 2: I did look at Instagram and and I saw you there.

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Speaker 2: Found out just going down a fucking slide, a kid

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Speaker 2: slide with a beer in hand.

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Speaker 1: Didn't spill a drop.

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Speaker 2: No, you didn't, You didn't. Glad you were having fun.

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Speaker 2: I was.

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Speaker 1: Do you know that party was actually organized as an

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Speaker 1: appropriate time out from its actual date the day before the.

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Speaker 2: Four days out? Sure?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So we're talking because a lot of those families

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Speaker 1: are because it's the mother's group. Shout out to the

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Speaker 1: mother's group, a bunch of pisshead. All the kids are

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Speaker 1: a similar age, all the kids that were in a

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Speaker 1: week of each other. And then also the younger the

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Speaker 1: siblings are similar to we just all got together and

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Speaker 1: we're like, let's have a fucking orgy. So the youngest

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Speaker 1: are all similar ages as well.

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Speaker 2: And for anyone who's not familiar, that's four years old roughly.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, four years old they are, and then the youngest

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00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:15,520
Speaker 1: are all like between one and a half and two.

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Speaker 1: We're talking about how you know, the eldest could be

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Speaker 1: just doing something and the youngest picks up a toy

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Speaker 1: on the other side of the room that is one

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00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:28,240
Speaker 1: of the toys of the elder kid. Anyway, So Oscar

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Speaker 1: will be watching TV, watching his favorite show whatever could

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00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:35,880
Speaker 1: be anything, in a trance, watching Sea Beast, and then

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Speaker 1: you've got Macy at the other end of the living space.

390
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Speaker 2: It was just a sweetheart. Can we just say, oh, gorgeous?

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Speaker 2: Not to take away from Oscar. He's also a great kid.

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Speaker 1: But she's a sweet soul. She's kind of like my grandmother.

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Speaker 1: Everyone always says, oh, she's like a little Olive. She is.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I've not met Olive, but.

395
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Speaker 1: Just like a little grandmother. Yeah, she's great. So she's

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Speaker 1: on the other end of the living room and she's

397
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:03,720
Speaker 1: picked up on Oscar's toys. Oscar's just like, hang on

398
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:07,480
Speaker 1: a minute, and he's taken off like an air marshal

399
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:11,040
Speaker 1: across the room, storm over, tackle it out of the

400
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:14,120
Speaker 1: ground like that sort of stuff, and like to get

401
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,240
Speaker 1: the toy offer and I'm like that my yeah, and

402
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:20,280
Speaker 1: I'm like, mate, she's just gonna play with it, like

403
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:23,160
Speaker 1: we're trying to do try and get their phone time around.

404
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:25,040
Speaker 1: How long she gets to play with it before he

405
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:25,920
Speaker 1: gets to play with it?

406
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:26,680
Speaker 2: Does he get that?

407
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:29,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, he gets it, but he's like it's never

408
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:30,440
Speaker 1: good enough.

409
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the hardest thing.

410
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:33,080
Speaker 1: You weren't even playing with it.

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Speaker 2: And there's always like we very much we have that

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00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:38,879
Speaker 2: model of like sharings caring and it's come from daycare

413
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:42,840
Speaker 2: as well. Yeah, but so similar scenario where if Lola

414
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:46,520
Speaker 2: touches anything and the kids very much have like shared toys,

415
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:49,480
Speaker 2: it's not as if like stuff is Marley's and I

416
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,920
Speaker 2: can't forget who's who's Lola touches anything, may will race

417
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,320
Speaker 2: over pride out of her hands and be like sharing

418
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Speaker 2: is caring.

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Speaker 1: So she just completely turned the whole phrase around.

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Speaker 2: To be she's like she's got ship, doesn't She like, yeah,

421
00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:04,920
Speaker 2: but you weren't playing with it. She's playing with it.

422
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,280
Speaker 2: You have to, you know, trying to try to explain

423
00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:08,920
Speaker 2: it to a four year old and it's just not

424
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:12,639
Speaker 2: sinking in. It's not but fuck me, that's the biggest

425
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:15,840
Speaker 2: tantrums we're having right now even for some on good

426
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:22,840
Speaker 2: on God, for some unknown reason, for some unknown reason,

427
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:28,200
Speaker 2: get it out, Jesus go for some unknown reason.

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00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:29,760
Speaker 1: There we go. He's back.

429
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Speaker 2: He's back on.

430
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,680
Speaker 1: Tracking one non alcoholic beer.

431
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:37,480
Speaker 2: Whenever we leave for daycre in the morning, kids want

432
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:40,080
Speaker 2: to have some little like trinket, like a little like

433
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:41,280
Speaker 2: bluey doll or like there's a.

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Speaker 1: Little get him in the car, or to get it,

435
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,880
Speaker 1: you know. It's like they want to take this ship.

436
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:47,399
Speaker 2: I'm like, guys, it's time to go, and they're like

437
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,320
Speaker 2: then they start like panicking what should I get.

438
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,800
Speaker 1: It's like we're trying to find your keys, your wallet,

439
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:56,320
Speaker 1: you throw They're like like when's the months of truck.

440
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,000
Speaker 1: I can't get on with my day.

441
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,840
Speaker 2: And it such a nightmare because no matter what Marley grabs,

442
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:04,919
Speaker 2: she's like okay, Dad, I'm ready to go, And then

443
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:08,880
Speaker 2: Lola will grab absolutely anything in the Marmy's like that's

444
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:09,720
Speaker 2: the one that I want.

445
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,200
Speaker 1: I was trying to see that toy in six months. Yeah.

446
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:18,320
Speaker 1: It's so painful and they get so petty. I caught

447
00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:22,840
Speaker 1: Oscar hiding not his toys, but hiding his sister's toys

448
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:27,800
Speaker 1: as like I'll get you back. Situation really petty and

449
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,920
Speaker 1: actually reminded me of something and I know where he

450
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:34,280
Speaker 1: gets it from, like my father, like son my father likes.

451
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:37,440
Speaker 1: So we're back a petty story for me, Matthew, if.

452
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:38,879
Speaker 2: You will please entertain me.

453
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,359
Speaker 1: I'm all is a couple of years ago, pre kids.

454
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:46,560
Speaker 1: This is April and I took a lovely It was

455
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,920
Speaker 1: actually when we found out we're pregnant. But we'll get

456
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:52,920
Speaker 1: to that another time. We're in Europe, nice little trip

457
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,600
Speaker 1: in Europe. We're coming home. It was the last flight

458
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:59,480
Speaker 1: home and there was a girl sitting in front of

459
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:01,399
Speaker 1: me who for the whole you know, that flight's like

460
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 1: fourteen hours. She got on the plane. She was just

461
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,760
Speaker 1: an asshole. Like she was just such an asshole to

462
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 1: all of the flight attendants, so like impatient, like the

463
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:14,159
Speaker 1: whole bit. Whatever.

464
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 2: So the whole flight was like this, and I sorry,

465
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,120
Speaker 2: she's sitting in front of you, just directly in front

466
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 2: of me, the seat in front of you, but I

467
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,400
Speaker 2: could here see everything and how fucking rude.

468
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,920
Speaker 1: She was only a young girl too, like she wanted

469
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 1: to get to the destination first. She wanted to be

470
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:32,119
Speaker 1: there first. That's what it was like. We're all in

471
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,679
Speaker 1: this together, and I'm like, fourteen hours of me listening

472
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:39,800
Speaker 1: to this, I was like, this person sucks. Anyway. So

473
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,840
Speaker 1: then we land. The plane lands, and before we even

474
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:47,040
Speaker 1: stopped moving, she stood up. Right before we've even stopped moving,

475
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:49,639
Speaker 1: She's getting her bags out of the things. I'm like,

476
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,080
Speaker 1: this person is unbelievable.

477
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:53,560
Speaker 2: Chill, relax.

478
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 1: Anyway, they're saying to her, sit back down. So she

479
00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:58,479
Speaker 1: sits back down with her bags and everything she's got

480
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 1: ready to go. The seat eat belt sign turns off.

481
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,440
Speaker 1: She gets up and everyone in front of her gets

482
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,800
Speaker 1: up to the people in front are all old people.

483
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:10,960
Speaker 1: She's barging these old people out over to get to

484
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,440
Speaker 1: the front so she can get off this eddie haddle.

485
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,440
Speaker 1: Emirates fly come. Remember what it was like, literally like

486
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:22,320
Speaker 1: barging these people. And I was like furious watching this. Anyway,

487
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,879
Speaker 1: Then people start to exit and then I've got my

488
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,560
Speaker 1: stuff down and I look over and she's left her

489
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 1: iPad on the seat.

490
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,000
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, what do you do? What a dilemma? What

491
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:34,320
Speaker 2: a dilemma. What do I do?

492
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 1: Do I give this back or do I give it

493
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,160
Speaker 1: to the detech? What do I do here? I've picked

494
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,480
Speaker 1: it up on the way out, I've walked forward about

495
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:50,960
Speaker 1: thirty rows and slipped it into a seat pocket around seat. Anyway,

496
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:54,879
Speaker 1: we're getting off the plane and she's standing on the

497
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 1: outside of the plane because she's realized.

498
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:58,920
Speaker 2: What she's she can't get back on.

499
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,040
Speaker 1: But she can't get back illegal to go back on.

500
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 1: But also she sent the flight attendant back to her seat.

501
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 1: It's not there, no more iPad. Wow. Wow, I mean

502
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:14,640
Speaker 1: that has to be you, son of a bitch. One

503
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,920
Speaker 1: of the greatest moments of my life.

504
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:20,679
Speaker 2: Do you worry at all about karma?

505
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:22,440
Speaker 1: Fuck carma?

506
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,119
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, that.

507
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:28,440
Speaker 1: Was ages ago, man, But honestly, I think she needed

508
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:31,880
Speaker 1: to worry. I was her karma. It was an iPad

509
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:35,640
Speaker 1: pro beautiful thing. Could easily be one of my kids

510
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:40,120
Speaker 1: iPads now, But no, it's someone else's who luckily gets

511
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:42,560
Speaker 1: to sit in that seat. Forty rows up and then

512
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,720
Speaker 1: a flight out of Sydney gets a brand new iPad.

513
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 2: I would put money on the fact that you put

514
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,359
Speaker 2: it on airplane mode and it's currently upstairs right now

515
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 2: in the.

516
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:59,800
Speaker 1: Fuster. Anyway, that is my petty story, And now I

517
00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:01,200
Speaker 1: know want my kids are the way they are.

518
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,639
Speaker 2: And that's why you have to be nice to people.

519
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 1: The swift hand of justice was dealt almost immediately. Also

520
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,359
Speaker 1: to add to that, they were also teaching the sharing

521
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:22,640
Speaker 1: thing at kindy the other day, which was really good

522
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,879
Speaker 1: because I would The story was that one of the

523
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 1: kids had a scooter and it's always nice to share,

524
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 1: which is such a great lesson for them. It's obviously

525
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:32,239
Speaker 1: not working in our house. One of the comments from

526
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,200
Speaker 1: the one of the kids was, it's okay, me and

527
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 1: my sister have a scooter, but we can always buy

528
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:43,720
Speaker 1: another one, just like sound logically, but also like not

529
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 1: everyone could buy another scooter. Little Timmy privilege.

530
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 2: A rolex.

531
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like, it's okay, my daddy's got to

532
00:25:53,040 --> 00:26:08,439
Speaker 1: be fuck you, Timmy, tell me tell me loud. Very

533
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,280
Speaker 1: catchy that she and I would say. The guy who's

534
00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:13,879
Speaker 1: singing that got such a comedic voice.

535
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 2: You could be I don't know if they've locked in

536
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 2: all the contestants. Mask singer. That's a fucking hard mask

537
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,960
Speaker 2: mask singer. Would you give it a karaoke?

538
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:28,159
Speaker 1: Karaoke? I actually did karaoke once one of my mid

539
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:31,680
Speaker 1: twenty birthdays. I feel like you're in the city, very good.

540
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:35,160
Speaker 1: I did Beyonce put a ring on. It got kicked

541
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:38,440
Speaker 1: out because afterwards I mic dropped and you break the mic. Yeah,

542
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 1: off it get stronger, mics get better. Let a guy live,

543
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 1: Let me get over bro. Anyway, we do have lies.

544
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:50,960
Speaker 2: We have some lies we have and like.

545
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:53,439
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk before we get into the lies.

546
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:56,399
Speaker 1: Like parents lie, I've worked out that I do a

547
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:57,119
Speaker 1: lot of tricking.

548
00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 2: It's weird at the moment because obviously, like three out

549
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:02,680
Speaker 2: the week, I'm thinking about what I'm doing, and you know,

550
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:04,440
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, that could be funny for the podcast.

551
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 2: I realize I lie every single day every time. It's

552
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,879
Speaker 2: just it's really scary, Like do I ever tell my

553
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:13,520
Speaker 2: kids the truth?

554
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:14,119
Speaker 1: Probably? Not?

555
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 2: Like everything is everything.

556
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:22,399
Speaker 1: It's like it's like dinner's yummy, fucking lie, Daddy loves you.

557
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 2: What have you got? What's your life?

558
00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 1: My first one is that I've realized that I can lie,

559
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:32,399
Speaker 1: slash trick Macy into doing just about anything. So she

560
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,199
Speaker 1: was the other day. I was out on the balcony

561
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:37,600
Speaker 1: hanging out the laundry like a good dad slash husband,

562
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:40,920
Speaker 1: and Macy's out there with me. It's nice, sons out.

563
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:45,639
Speaker 1: I've walked back inside She refused to come inside, and

564
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, yeah, what have I got over here?

565
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 1: What's this? What have I got over here? Clearly had nothing,

566
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 1: like what's this? What's this? Eventually coaxed her inside shut

567
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,879
Speaker 1: the door. I was like, yeah, then I worked out

568
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,600
Speaker 1: that I do that all the time, dude, I did it. Yeah.

569
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 1: She was walking up the stairs and I was like,

570
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 1: stay stay downstairs. Oh what's this? Started like rummaging around

571
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 1: on something. What's this? What's this? It's just like earth

572
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 1: perk up like a dog, and she's like, mosy is

573
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,439
Speaker 1: over and I'm like expecting me to have something. I'm like, eh, gotcha,

574
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:17,880
Speaker 1: that was my life.

575
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:20,160
Speaker 2: That's I've just realized that's what I do as well.

576
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:20,960
Speaker 1: I do it all day.

577
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:24,159
Speaker 2: I go as far as to say, oh I've got

578
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:24,960
Speaker 2: a present.

579
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:27,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, or I've got a tree's.

580
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:28,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, what you want to see?

581
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 1: What this is?

582
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,920
Speaker 2: It's pretty special and Lula's like, nah, I can see it.

583
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 2: She fights it at first, like she's a bit resistant.

584
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,040
Speaker 1: She's like, but what if this time he actually does?

585
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:37,920
Speaker 2: And then I kind of see her like gas lighting.

586
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,800
Speaker 2: Her shoulders turn and she like squints and she looks

587
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 2: she's looking inquisitive. And then she comes over and she's like,

588
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 2: what is it? And I'm like, it's your dinner. Now

589
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 2: we eat it, and she's broccoli y.

590
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 1: Got me again.

591
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 2: But that's what you have to do.

592
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:56,000
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you have to do that. Otherwise I don't

593
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 1: do anything. So that's why we've got this segment so

594
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 1: we can find out a new way to lie.

595
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,080
Speaker 2: Do you know just another line that I might throw

596
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 2: in there real quick one if I may. We don't

597
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,520
Speaker 2: have a bath at the house. The kids have a shower,

598
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:10,680
Speaker 2: and they hate going in the shower, like the first

599
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 2: couple of seconds or just like to get into the

600
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 2: shower is an absolute ball ake. And what I say

601
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 2: now to get them into our say, I just can't

602
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 2: tell is the water too cold or too hot? Can

603
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 2: you just put your hand in there and test the

604
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 2: water for me? And then you push them in and

605
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 2: they put their hand and they're like, you know, it's okay.

606
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:33,239
Speaker 2: Then I'm like, shut the door. Happens every night there.

607
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 2: I'm like, can anyone you couldn't just test that water

608
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 2: for me for a second.

609
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:40,120
Speaker 1: Daddy doesn't know how to do it, but you can

610
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 1: do it really really well.

611
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 2: So always awkward when the hot water is not working

612
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 2: and winter and.

613
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 1: But lies from the parents, from our lovely listeners who

614
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:56,120
Speaker 1: also love to lie to their children's.

615
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 2: I don't know, ash, if we've told this lie before.

616
00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:02,000
Speaker 2: We don't know if you ice cream related lines. I

617
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:04,040
Speaker 2: feel like ice creams are something that a lot of

618
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 2: parents have to deal with. If we've said this one before,

619
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 2: I apologize. This lie is when the ice cream truck

620
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:16,240
Speaker 2: has the music blaring, it actually means that the ice

621
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 2: creams have run our gone.

622
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 1: That's a classic. That's that's one of those ones. And

623
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 1: I always refer back to the Circle of Life. Yes,

624
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 1: one of those ones that's been passed down from generation.

625
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:32,400
Speaker 1: We slightly tweaked it because we're down here at the

626
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 1: Beach car Park and mister Whippi, who must be ruining parents'

627
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 1: lives on a daily basis, but that's part of his

628
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 1: marketing campaign's ruined parents. So he's turned up and obviously

629
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:53,200
Speaker 1: the lie that we've told Oscar, which is that exact lie,

630
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 1: doesn't really factor in if there's people lined up and

631
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:01,560
Speaker 1: actually physically getting ice cream.

632
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 2: So what we've very confusing for the kids.

633
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:05,960
Speaker 1: What we've done is we've we've tweaked the lie a

634
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 1: little bit to say, oh, it's only big boy ice

635
00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:11,600
Speaker 1: creams now, there's none for like little boys.

636
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 2: The spicy ice cream, spicy ice just lies are being molded.

637
00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 1: It was just like, oh, yeah, look, there's only the

638
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 1: big boys can get ice cream when the sound's going

639
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:24,520
Speaker 1: now because they're out of the little boy ice cream

640
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 1: and seem to work.

641
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:28,840
Speaker 2: One thing that we haven't really delved into is at

642
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 2: what point do you start to like come clean on

643
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:35,560
Speaker 2: the lies and say everything I told you from the

644
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 2: age of two to six is not true.

645
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:43,080
Speaker 1: Absolute lie. I don't know. I had a sister. I

646
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 1: had a sister that kept alive from me for sixteen years.

647
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 1: What's that once she left the door open on my

648
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 1: side of the car and Dad reverse and ripped the

649
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 1: door off.

650
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 2: I know, I think we've told that story.

651
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, And sixteen years later, eventually it came out that

652
00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:00,480
Speaker 1: she opened the door and just blamed me.

653
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 2: When I see my mom next, I'll be like, yeah,

654
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:04,760
Speaker 2: I'm gonna ask what do you want to come clean

655
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 2: with now?

656
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, Muma, probably remember that time you walked in. I

657
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,480
Speaker 1: was jerking your dad off. That was not your dad,

658
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 1: that's not your real dad. Have you noticed that you're

659
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 1: much taller than him. That dad, Sorry kidding, I love

660
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 1: you guy, short king. What do you got?

661
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:23,840
Speaker 2: What else you got?

662
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 1: I've got one that is from a d M that

663
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 1: we received. I forgot what his name is? Tom? Fuck?

664
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:33,880
Speaker 1: I don't know who cares? Sorry?

665
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 2: Can you like our listeners?

666
00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 1: Just? I love them? I do?

667
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 2: What's his name? Who fucking cares? Not Tom? Right now

668
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 2: is like I hope fingers on the podcast and.

669
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:52,240
Speaker 1: Hey, babe, listen shut out of Tom cares about you, speaker.

670
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,160
Speaker 1: I think it was Tom. I don't know. Again, I

671
00:32:57,200 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 1: didn't respond because the damn is really just I'm not

672
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 1: good with that stuff. I'm a much better talker than

673
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 1: a typer.

674
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:05,920
Speaker 2: I like that good cover up anyway.

675
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:11,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it comes from Tom, and the lie is

676
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 1: a really clever one. I thought. So we do lie

677
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 1: to our kids about how things are broken. This is

678
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 1: a little bit different. When he's done so, before his

679
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:22,720
Speaker 1: kids can get hold of the iPad or the iPhone

680
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:25,960
Speaker 1: to watch YouTube and or Netflix or whatever it is

681
00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:29,480
Speaker 1: that's on there, he flicks it really quickly to aeroplane mode,

682
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 1: and because it doesn't load it automatically, is already broken.

683
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:36,680
Speaker 1: It's a visual lie.

684
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:39,959
Speaker 2: I have an issue with this lie, if I can

685
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:41,880
Speaker 2: pull it apart for one second.

686
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 1: Ash, absolutely not. We're going to move on from this segment.

687
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 2: Don't you reckon though that. It's almost like I would

688
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:50,000
Speaker 2: rather the kids be on the iPad. The iPad, but

689
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:50,400
Speaker 2: he might.

690
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 1: Be trying to get a bed. We don't know the circumstance.

691
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, we'll give Tom. Let's call him the benefit

692
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:56,680
Speaker 2: of that.

693
00:33:56,840 --> 00:34:02,960
Speaker 1: Tom's is the Facebook guy. Yeah, yeah, I thought it

694
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:05,320
Speaker 1: was really good because it's kind of like when I

695
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:08,279
Speaker 1: put the sign in front of the claw machine.

696
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:08,719
Speaker 2: The broken sign.

697
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:12,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like I had a backup evidence of

698
00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 1: the lie. He's like, look, can't you see it's not working?

699
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,760
Speaker 1: How stupid are you? It's not working?

700
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:21,760
Speaker 2: I would never not want my kids on the iPad?

701
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 2: Is sacred.

702
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:26,279
Speaker 1: The best parent. I always say that, you know, like

703
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:27,759
Speaker 1: you meet people and I was like, oh, you know,

704
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:30,760
Speaker 1: what were you brought up on? But in that generation,

705
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:34,960
Speaker 1: what were you brought up on? They're like Coco Mellen, YouTube, YouTube,

706
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:36,760
Speaker 1: kids reels.

707
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:42,400
Speaker 2: Instagram's, Marley's just I'll be watching TikTok and she's like

708
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:44,279
Speaker 2: what's that? And I'm like, oh too soon.

709
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 1: Daddy's like I want what daddy's got Sometimes I catch him,

710
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,759
Speaker 1: he's on shorts and he's usually watching a sad video

711
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 1: of some sad kid who doesn't get to play with

712
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 1: the toy and some other kid. It's pretty harmless stuff.

713
00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:59,640
Speaker 1: But every now and then something something comes up and

714
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:05,839
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, that's for daddy's follow But yeah, it's

715
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 1: the best parent. It's bringing my kids up. Which is

716
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:11,399
Speaker 1: sad to say people are going to it's not. It's

717
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:14,800
Speaker 1: not people are to afraid to admit it. Just admit it.

718
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:17,759
Speaker 1: Everyone's There's no one out there that were before they

719
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:20,239
Speaker 1: had kids that said I'm not going to let my

720
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:22,239
Speaker 1: kids have the iPad. I'm not going to do that.

721
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:29,520
Speaker 1: Who's had to go with the gypsies, travelers, those bastards

722
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 1: making us all look bad. I'm a good parent. I

723
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 1: swear to God, I'm a good parent.

724
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 2: Let's move on.

725
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 1: Let's move on from question and let's go into question.

726
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:41,960
Speaker 1: And you've got the questions.

727
00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:45,759
Speaker 2: Question number one ash for your first child, how did

728
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 2: your partner tell you that they were pregnant and how

729
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:48,800
Speaker 2: did you react.

730
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,040
Speaker 1: I'll go with the back end of that question. First, disappointed.

731
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:56,600
Speaker 1: We were actually in Europe when we found out.

732
00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:58,480
Speaker 2: Do we need to say, just in case there are

733
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:01,240
Speaker 2: only people who are listening for the very we're joking.

734
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:04,320
Speaker 2: We love our kids. We do love our kids. We

735
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,279
Speaker 2: will just say that just so you're aware in case

736
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:09,319
Speaker 2: you're thinking, do these guys really hate the kids? No, Well,

737
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:11,560
Speaker 2: like depends on the day and the time.

738
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 1: I think that covers us. I think we're covered. We

739
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 1: love them, We're covered. Continued, We're covered, were covered. Okay,

740
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:22,800
Speaker 1: now that those listeners are gone. So when we we

741
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:26,920
Speaker 1: were in Europe actually when we found out that we

742
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:32,279
Speaker 1: were pregnant, and it was kind of like April's late,

743
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:35,600
Speaker 1: and it was like, were you trying? We weren't actively

744
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 1: not trying.

745
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:41,200
Speaker 2: Yeah that makes sense, sure, yeah, and it happens. It happened.

746
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 1: It happens, It happens, and it happened. And we were

747
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:48,200
Speaker 1: in Croatia when we actually confirmed it, and it was like, great,

748
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:50,720
Speaker 1: this is great. But also we're going to Disneyland tomorrow.

749
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 1: When we go to France, we go to Paris, so fuck.

750
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,320
Speaker 1: We didn't get to go on anything. You can't go

751
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,400
Speaker 1: on anything, and I wasn't allowed to go because it

752
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:02,000
Speaker 1: was like you can't go, but can't go. So we

753
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:04,800
Speaker 1: made this packed we've got this packed together now that

754
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 1: when Oscar is of age to go to Europe or

755
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:12,280
Speaker 1: go to Disneyland, he has to hold all the bags

756
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:15,440
Speaker 1: and stand in line on our behalf, and then when

757
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:16,480
Speaker 1: he gets to the front of the ne it's like

758
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 1: you out me and April straight in. Sucker, suck on

759
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,280
Speaker 1: that teach you to be conceived?

760
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:28,440
Speaker 2: Did it suck? The fact that in Europe? Yeah, having

761
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 2: like a hot girl European summer, you can't drink. That

762
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 2: was a bit of a doubt.

763
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:35,720
Speaker 1: I was on a massive drinker. Anyway, I still drink,

764
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:39,560
Speaker 1: there's no doubt about that. I'm not pregnant. But yeah,

765
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:40,319
Speaker 1: look it was Do.

766
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:42,720
Speaker 2: You remember the moment Obviously she kind of I'm assuming

767
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 2: she would have been in the bathroom peeing on the

768
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:48,200
Speaker 2: stick came out. Do you remember how you reacted?

769
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:51,800
Speaker 1: No, it was like literally, like so early in the morning.

770
00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 1: I was definitely asleep when she told me when she rude,

771
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:59,239
Speaker 1: wake you up. Yeah, it's not important or anything. Yeah,

772
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:03,960
Speaker 1: but at the end, I mean that was that was Oscar.

773
00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:10,120
Speaker 1: What about you? Well, you're hanging there like ask me,

774
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:13,399
Speaker 1: ask me, and that's all time.

775
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,800
Speaker 2: It was a similar scenario where we weren't really trying,

776
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 2: but we weren't not trying. I guess the catalyst for

777
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,920
Speaker 2: Laura taking the pregnancy test was the fact that I

778
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 2: made this very delicious salmon dinner.

779
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:28,880
Speaker 1: It's very nice.

780
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:31,280
Speaker 2: Could have been a breakfast dinner, not important.

781
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:33,359
Speaker 1: And Laura was like, I think the breakfast dinner.

782
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:36,920
Speaker 2: Maybe it was like a salmon scrambled egg type start.

783
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:38,280
Speaker 1: Maybe it was smoked.

784
00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 2: I can't remember. No, I'm not important, not important, but

785
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:44,239
Speaker 2: it was salmon, and it was very good salmon. I

786
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:47,279
Speaker 2: bought the good stuff, very expensive, and Laura was like,

787
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:49,840
Speaker 2: I think this is off this is not the salmon's

788
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:54,719
Speaker 2: no good. I was like, what very offended? Yeah, I've

789
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:56,839
Speaker 2: put blood, sweat and tears into this dish and you're

790
00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:59,600
Speaker 2: fucking not enjoying it. And I was like, maybe you're

791
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 2: pregnant as a bit of a joke. And then went

792
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:04,200
Speaker 2: to the farm, sat down the road piste on the stick,

793
00:39:04,239 --> 00:39:07,520
Speaker 2: and I think she just said I'm pregnant, and I

794
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:09,239
Speaker 2: was like, no, ship there it is.

795
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,320
Speaker 1: I don't but it wasn't you when you pee on

796
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:16,080
Speaker 1: the stick, No, I don't know when I haven't.

797
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 2: Stick.

798
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:19,919
Speaker 1: No, they dip it in now is how I don't

799
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:22,200
Speaker 1: even know how does it even work? Hang on, is he?

800
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:27,000
Speaker 1: Let me just clarify the dipping it in. They're dipping

801
00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 1: it into the toilet bowl, not dipping it into their vagina.

802
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:34,680
Speaker 1: Let's just clear that, right. I just had this image

803
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:37,279
Speaker 1: or something like let me shut out there.

804
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:41,759
Speaker 2: I thought they had to like just pisce all over it.

805
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:42,080
Speaker 1: I don't know.

806
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:44,680
Speaker 2: I hope to do the dip makes a lot of

807
00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:46,719
Speaker 2: sense if it's a dip, don't like, but it doesn't

808
00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:48,799
Speaker 2: really feel real at that point. I feel like, though

809
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's the same for you, Ash,

810
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:53,760
Speaker 2: it's been ingrained into my mind that you don't celebrate

811
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:55,400
Speaker 2: anything before twelve weeks.

812
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:57,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, a little bit. I felt like when I when

813
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,680
Speaker 1: I saw the stick and the when I saw like

814
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 1: from the doctors, when April went and got checked if

815
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:07,040
Speaker 1: she was pregnant, like through a doctor. My reaction to

816
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 1: that it's like, yeah, like a piece of paper, like, oh,

817
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:11,880
Speaker 1: obviously it's great. And I was almost like, what's the

818
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:13,200
Speaker 1: reaction I'm supposed to have?

819
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:15,920
Speaker 2: Yes, Yeah, you're like, I don't want to. I don't

820
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 2: want to celebrate it because also there's so much sick

821
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 2: and yeah, we're so so early days. But I think

822
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:23,000
Speaker 2: the moment for me where I was like, holy shit

823
00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:25,360
Speaker 2: really hit home to be like I'm about to be

824
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:28,440
Speaker 2: a fucking dad was the ultrasound where you hear the

825
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,080
Speaker 2: heartbeat the very first time and you're kind of still

826
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:32,800
Speaker 2: seeing a bit of a blob on the screen like

827
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:35,359
Speaker 2: it's you can make out the shape of the head.

828
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:36,919
Speaker 2: But then when you hear the heartbeat and they play

829
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:38,640
Speaker 2: it out loud, like.

830
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it made me see sick. And it was

831
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,360
Speaker 1: so funny because every time we went and did the

832
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:49,640
Speaker 1: ultrasound and I'd be like, I'll be sitting in the

833
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:51,640
Speaker 1: seat like grabbing hold of the being.

834
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 2: Like taking your nausea tablets. Yeah.

835
00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 1: Literally, So it was like it was I mean, the

836
00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:02,160
Speaker 1: realization of like, holy shit, have a kid was kind

837
00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:04,960
Speaker 1: of overtaken by the fact that it was kind of

838
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:08,279
Speaker 1: like I cad sea legs when I came out of there,

839
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:11,880
Speaker 1: and they were like, okay, I mean that probably contributed

840
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 1: to the meat passing out in the delivery suite, but

841
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:17,719
Speaker 1: we'll get to that another day. But I know what

842
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:18,040
Speaker 1: you mean.

843
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:23,240
Speaker 2: Oh good good. April's like, Ash, why are you vomiting?

844
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:26,160
Speaker 1: Why you She's like, why are you so squamy. I one,

845
00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 1: like they wanted to just squirted some gel on me

846
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:32,480
Speaker 1: and rubbing around on my fucking tummy like we're just

847
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 1: going to take an internal ultrasound. It's like, oh, really

848
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:37,800
Speaker 1: going to shove that thing up me.

849
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:40,319
Speaker 2: Let's go with question number two.

850
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:43,200
Speaker 1: So the next question is like, how do you maintain

851
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:48,320
Speaker 1: the relationship between obviously mom and dad after having kids?

852
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:52,279
Speaker 1: You don't really, I mean you like you do who

853
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:53,279
Speaker 1: we're talking about? Who is she?

854
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 2: The track? It's obviously a huge change, and the relationship

855
00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 2: side of things is kind of like an non priority.

856
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:02,640
Speaker 2: It gets pushed way down the way.

857
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:04,480
Speaker 1: I was saying before. It's like having a roommate but

858
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:05,440
Speaker 1: you've got kids together.

859
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:07,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, a little bit, yeah, totally totally.

860
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:10,920
Speaker 1: Like these are your jobs at the time, These are

861
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:12,960
Speaker 1: my jobs at time to keep the household going. But

862
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:15,799
Speaker 1: that's not a relationship. That's kind of like, yes, it's

863
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:16,680
Speaker 1: like your coworkers.

864
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:19,359
Speaker 2: So we've only kind of like we kind of came

865
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:21,719
Speaker 2: out of that period when Lola was I guess like

866
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 2: one and a half and she was coming good with

867
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 2: a really tough time with Lola, And it was only

868
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 2: when we were kind of getting ahead above water that

869
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:29,120
Speaker 2: will like.

870
00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 1: Oh, that's right, we're in a relationship. Yeah. Up until

871
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 1: that point, you've been like project managers literally, yeah.

872
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 2: Like divving up the jobs.

873
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:39,880
Speaker 1: You know.

874
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:42,759
Speaker 2: It's it's that routine of your wake up, you get

875
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:45,760
Speaker 2: the kids ready, and then you go to work. That's stress.

876
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:48,960
Speaker 2: When you come home kids from daycare, kids are screaming

877
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:50,719
Speaker 2: like toddlers are hard work. We all know that. We

878
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:52,719
Speaker 2: harp on about it NonStop. Yeah. We got to the

879
00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:54,279
Speaker 2: point where Laura and I are like, we haven't had

880
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 2: like a date night a year.

881
00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:59,160
Speaker 1: And you plan. The thing is you plan. You're like, okay,

882
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:01,000
Speaker 1: so tonight, after the kids go to bed, we're going

883
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,080
Speaker 1: to watch a movie together, get a nice dinner, and

884
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 1: then when they go to bed, you're like, ah, fuck it.

885
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 1: There are so go to bed facing opposite ways on

886
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:08,839
Speaker 1: a bed.

887
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:11,919
Speaker 2: There are so many times where in the morning where

888
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:14,840
Speaker 2: you have really good intention yeah, and you're like you

889
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 2: have like a kiss and you're like like, hey, you know,

890
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:18,359
Speaker 2: it's been a while.

891
00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:21,200
Speaker 1: Later on, later on we're going to get freaky and

892
00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:24,279
Speaker 1: you're like, or even we're gonna have dinner alone and

893
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 1: you're like oh. Then you get to the way to

894
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:30,520
Speaker 1: not talk to you to day You're just like, so

895
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:31,480
Speaker 1: what are we talking about now?

896
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 2: Come nine o'clock You're like, I just want to sit

897
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 2: on the couch in silence.

898
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:37,239
Speaker 1: And if you're not that's the thing, if you if

899
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:40,160
Speaker 1: the kids aren't there, you're just sitting there talking about

900
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:41,120
Speaker 1: the kids? Do we.

901
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:44,680
Speaker 2: Laud will bring up photos of the kids and like,

902
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:45,600
Speaker 2: isn't she cute?

903
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:50,120
Speaker 1: It was like, let's go wake I've got this really

904
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:53,840
Speaker 1: devious plan actually that when my kids, because you know

905
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:57,919
Speaker 1: how when you talk to older parents of older kids

906
00:43:57,960 --> 00:44:00,560
Speaker 1: that they've got teenagers, like Larry MD we spoke to

907
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:03,719
Speaker 1: when you and they're like, yeah, they don't sleep. Then

908
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:05,640
Speaker 1: when they get to teenage years, you can't get them

909
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:08,279
Speaker 1: out of bed. I've got this very very good plan

910
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:10,640
Speaker 1: set out. I've written it down on my phone. It's

911
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:12,840
Speaker 1: in the cloud so that when I do get to

912
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:16,279
Speaker 1: the iPhone fifty at that point, I'm just gonna wake

913
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:19,800
Speaker 1: my children up at all hours of the night and

914
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 1: be like, how does it feel? How does it feel?

915
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 1: How does it feel like? Just turn the light on,

916
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:29,640
Speaker 1: scream at them. It's gonna be a good one, try

917
00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:32,680
Speaker 1: and rock them back to sleep, but really aggressively. I

918
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:34,439
Speaker 1: just want to get in the back for what they've

919
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:34,960
Speaker 1: done to me.

920
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:38,719
Speaker 2: They deserve every fucking second of that pain that.

921
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:43,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna shit myself and like clean it, clean it now.

922
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:47,799
Speaker 1: If they grow up right and they have they meet

923
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:49,560
Speaker 1: a great girl or a great guy, whatever it is,

924
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:51,480
Speaker 1: they're like, Mom, Dad, come over for dinner. I want

925
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:54,160
Speaker 1: you to meet this person. As soon as they've cooked

926
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:56,000
Speaker 1: whatever it is they've cooked, I'm gonna be like, I

927
00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:58,279
Speaker 1: don't want it. I don't like broccoli, you pretty, and

928
00:44:58,360 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 1: then just throw it on the floor.

929
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:02,400
Speaker 2: Much describe what is going to be like when you

930
00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 2: have dementia.

931
00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:05,080
Speaker 1: It is like sixty yeah, but I'm going to do

932
00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:09,840
Speaker 1: it at like forty fifty. It's going to be very deliberate.

933
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:12,880
Speaker 1: It's going to be very much like I'm not hungry,

934
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 1: and like, Dad, you're meeting my girlfriend for the first time.

935
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,560
Speaker 1: I've cooked you your favorite meal. It's not my favorite. Hell,

936
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 1: do you know what my favorite is?

937
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 2: Cut it in a squat, sitting in the corner of

938
00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:25,160
Speaker 2: the room behind the couch, shitting yourself.

939
00:45:25,239 --> 00:45:27,719
Speaker 1: Just poop and be like can I clean there's up

940
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:31,440
Speaker 1: up dune poopo, or just like go to the bathroom,

941
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:38,760
Speaker 1: be like I need a wife. Bosca absolutely torture my children.

942
00:45:39,719 --> 00:45:42,320
Speaker 2: What a great episode. And on that note, so I

943
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:45,239
Speaker 2: do want to say one quick thing Ash before we go.

944
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:48,080
Speaker 2: I know you absolutely hate it when I talk about running.

945
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 2: I am going to talk about running.

946
00:45:49,520 --> 00:45:51,239
Speaker 1: Real Yeah, I know what you're going to talk about

947
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:52,440
Speaker 1: it and I've said that I'm going to do it.

948
00:45:52,520 --> 00:45:55,840
Speaker 2: Also, so there is anyone in Sydney, New South Wales,

949
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:57,920
Speaker 2: there is a ten or of five kits of Sydney

950
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:01,400
Speaker 2: Harbor run. It's on the twenty third of July. All

951
00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:04,680
Speaker 2: money raise goes to the Australian Cancer Research Foundation. They

952
00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:09,080
Speaker 2: do fucking awesome work, agreed supporting life saving research. It's

953
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 2: so important. So this year they're trying to raise I

954
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:14,120
Speaker 2: think it's about ninety k from the event. So I'm

955
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:16,520
Speaker 2: going to run out doing the ten k. I'm going

956
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:18,359
Speaker 2: to try and get some money together and it all

957
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:20,759
Speaker 2: goes to cancer research. Bloody great and.

958
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:23,640
Speaker 1: I'm going to do it too. As of now, excuse me,

959
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:26,120
Speaker 1: I'm going to jump in. I'm not racing, but I'm

960
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 1: all for donations of money. Is to prevent people from dying,

961
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:31,239
Speaker 1: I'm all about that.

962
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:32,120
Speaker 2: Who the fuck?

963
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:37,319
Speaker 1: So I think that Matthew, what we should do as

964
00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:40,359
Speaker 1: a podcast duo? Yes, and I know you're going to win,

965
00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:42,719
Speaker 1: beat me by a country mile, so we're not going

966
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:45,160
Speaker 1: to do that. We're just going to raise as much

967
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:45,920
Speaker 1: money as we can.

968
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:47,520
Speaker 2: Love it bloody great.

969
00:46:47,719 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 1: And if I do somehow beat you, what's on there?

970
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:51,520
Speaker 1: You have to match it?

971
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:52,600
Speaker 2: Great?

972
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 1: Okay, perfect? And after this episode, I'm gonna get trained.

973
00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:00,480
Speaker 1: It's never going to happen, but we look where supporting

974
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:00,839
Speaker 1: the cause.

975
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 2: Good cause, great run get involved. Twenty third of July

976
00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:07,360
Speaker 2: and I think, gosh, we got to get out of

977
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:10,439
Speaker 2: here because we are interviewing I have very special guest.

978
00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:13,160
Speaker 1: Yes, if you're a cricket fan, you're gonna love this.

979
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:15,680
Speaker 1: You're gonna love this. He's also a dad. Of course,

980
00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:16,960
Speaker 1: we're very excited.

981
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:17,840
Speaker 2: Do we say who it is?

982
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 1: No? Second?

983
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:19,960
Speaker 2: Yeah? Okay, cool.

984
00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:22,600
Speaker 1: Now they probably would have had the episode by now.

985
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, who knows what?

986
00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:26,040
Speaker 1: It doesn't make any sense.

987
00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:27,640
Speaker 2: If you're confused, right now?

988
00:47:27,719 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 1: So are we Wait? But we've got a guess that's

989
00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 1: going to be a three doting dads will be back,

990
00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:35,799
Speaker 1: which is very exciting. And then of course we will

991
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:37,760
Speaker 1: also be back. Even though you're going to be in Fiji.

992
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:38,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, after the honeymoon.

993
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:41,080
Speaker 1: How does that work? I tell you how it works.

994
00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:43,120
Speaker 1: We record it before he leaves exactly.

995
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:47,040
Speaker 2: You know the drill review. Subscribe, follow us on Two

996
00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 2: Doting Dads.

997
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:50,320
Speaker 1: And tell a friend. If each of you tell a

998
00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:53,440
Speaker 1: friend or a stranger, because stranger is a friend you

999
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:54,799
Speaker 1: haven't met yet, that's great.

1000
00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:57,560
Speaker 2: There was one person who their comment on Apple podcast

1001
00:47:57,760 --> 00:48:01,160
Speaker 2: was I'm here to support Ash's unemployed. That's what's at stake.

1002
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:03,759
Speaker 2: Love that, that's what's at stake. Even if you don't

1003
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:06,360
Speaker 2: like listening because you don't find it entertaining, do it

1004
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:08,240
Speaker 2: to support an individual.

1005
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 1: Just think about this. I ate butter chicken out of

1006
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:14,319
Speaker 1: the bin when I was employed. Imagine what I'm willing

1007
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:14,960
Speaker 1: to do now.

1008
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:18,120
Speaker 2: Thanks on that.

1009
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:19,719
Speaker 1: Thank you guys, Bye bye.

1010
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:30,680
Speaker 2: Two Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country

1011
00:48:30,719 --> 00:48:34,400
Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.

1012
00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present

1013
00:48:37,239 --> 00:48:40,320
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight islander

1014
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:43,960
Speaker 1: people's today. This episode was recorded on Gadigle Land