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Speaker 1: This is a podcast about failure with me. Lola Berry, author, nutritionist,

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Speaker 1: and yoga teacher, join me as we get to know

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Speaker 1: these guests and learn about how their failures have ultimately

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Speaker 1: shaped their dreams. Welcome to Fearlessly Failing with Lola Berry. Hello,

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Speaker 1: and welcome to the first ever episode of the first

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Speaker 1: ever season or series, or let's just be honest, it's

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Speaker 1: the first ever podcast I've ever done. My name is

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Speaker 1: Lola Berry, and I just wanted to give you a

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Speaker 1: little intro for this first podcast because I recorded it

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Speaker 1: with my boyfriend Matt, who is the first ever guest,

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Speaker 1: and we didn't expect that we want to release it,

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Speaker 1: but it felt very open, vulnerable, and he has some

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Speaker 1: really really powerful gems in there that I think would

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Speaker 1: be a shame not to share with you. So we

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Speaker 1: decided to release this episode. But I realized quickly I

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Speaker 1: said to Matt, I was like, oh, I don't think

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Speaker 1: they even know you're my boyfriend. So to preface this

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Speaker 1: interview this podcast, the first guest is Matt Sofo, incredible

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Speaker 1: talented music producer, musician himself, writer, artist, also incredible boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: So we've been adding for nine months now. I don't

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Speaker 1: know how long it to be when this comes out,

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Speaker 1: But I really hope you enjoy it, and I hope

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Speaker 1: that you get to see a little bit of his

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Speaker 1: heart that I'm lucky enough that I see all the time.

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Speaker 1: So enjoy happy Episode one practice we're doing test Is

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Speaker 1: this the test? This is our podcast test number one?

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Speaker 1: Can we sing a riff dinner? Could do something like this,

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Speaker 1: Welcome to facing here with Lola Berry, Lola Berry.

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Speaker 2: Yeah if you want.

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Speaker 1: Okay. So we're just doing a this is a test run,

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Speaker 1: a test run podcast. So Matt Sofo is my first

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Speaker 1: ever guest on this show, and he's doing the one

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Speaker 1: thing that annoys me so much about him. He's got

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Speaker 1: so many wonderful qualities, but he swallowing. He swallows so

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Speaker 1: loud like no other human being that I've met.

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Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure everyone swallows. I can hear that.

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Speaker 1: Can you hear that?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I can hear that.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you're hearing the mics. But he's like,

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Speaker 1: literally should win Guinness Book a record for the world's

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Speaker 1: loudest swallower. And in the movies he'll crunch the chippy.

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Speaker 1: Right at the quiet moment of the Messa.

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Speaker 2: I thought I can't predict what's coming up in the movie.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well we can read a scenario.

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Speaker 2: But I just like to smash chips the whole way through.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and his real favors popcorn though, isn't it Yea.

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Speaker 1: So this is a good start. This is a good

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Speaker 1: start the first podcast. So the theme for those people

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Speaker 1: tuning in that haven't listened to this podcast before is

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Speaker 1: actually failure, which seems like quite a weird topic considering

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Speaker 1: we want to be like inspired by podcasts and empowered

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Speaker 1: and to gain something from them. And I think with

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Speaker 1: the movement of Instagram and social media, it's all about highlights.

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Speaker 1: It's all about like showing your best showing your best side.

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Speaker 1: And the aim of this is like we don't really

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Speaker 1: talk about the failures, and yet the failure is like

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Speaker 1: kind of like what makes us and so we're kind

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Speaker 1: of this podcast is really about celebrating failures.

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Speaker 2: Yes, is that way?

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Speaker 1: You took a big breath inside.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I wonder what's next?

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Speaker 1: Really? So as you are my first official guests, Yes,

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Speaker 1: mat sofo.

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Speaker 2: Yes.

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Speaker 1: First of all, little taste about you, Like, what do

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Speaker 1: you do? Number one?

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Speaker 2: I am a music producer?

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Speaker 1: What does that mean? Does that mean you just like

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Speaker 1: work on a keyboard or pretty much? I thought I

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Speaker 1: was gonna say something wrong. I think people don't understand

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Speaker 1: that music produces, Like how full on your job is?

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Speaker 2: Like you are the glue, right, Yeah, we are kind

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Speaker 2: of like the glue. Like I mean, like there's more

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Speaker 2: to what I do than just produce music. Like I'm

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Speaker 2: a writer and writer and artist and producer all in one.

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Speaker 2: But I probably like tell people I'm like a producer

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Speaker 2: just to kind of as like a blanket like statement.

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Speaker 1: Why.

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Speaker 2: I think that's probably just like the easiest one.

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Speaker 1: Or is it that you don't want to own how

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Speaker 1: awesome you are and that you are an artist?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Probably all of that definitely. But what did you say?

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Speaker 2: What does a producer do? You?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? So it's the like a song doesn't exist without

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Speaker 1: a music producer, correct.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so yeah, you can, you can write a song

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Speaker 2: and all that kind of stuff, and you know you can,

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Speaker 2: you know, even to some degree, and like record a song,

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Speaker 2: but like what a producer would do would bring all

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Speaker 2: of those parts together and all of those elements together

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Speaker 2: and turn that into like basically like a great record.

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Speaker 2: And also like a lot of what I do in

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Speaker 2: production is adding writing and adding extra parts and all

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Speaker 2: that kind of stuff. So it does involve some element

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Speaker 2: of writing. I think traditionally, like a producer's role would

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Speaker 2: just be a guy that would sit like up the

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Speaker 2: back in the studio and just be like yep, that

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Speaker 2: was good or that was crap, or like when you

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Speaker 2: try this, But like wasn't really a hands on kind

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Speaker 2: of like role. But I think that that kind of

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Speaker 2: like change, like somewhere where when what's that sound?

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Speaker 1: I just keep rolling.

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Speaker 2: I think that should be well, this is why I'm

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Speaker 2: a producer. I'm like, what's that? I'm like, maybe I

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Speaker 2: should turn the premium down a little bit. I've lost

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Speaker 2: my train of thought. Yeah, so I think traditionally that

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Speaker 2: role was like someone else's role, but then now it

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Speaker 2: all became a bit of an all encompassing like you're

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Speaker 2: an engineer, you're a writer, you're a producer, you're an artist,

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Speaker 2: Like it just became like your own role and the

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Speaker 2: amount of people involved in records just became less and less.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, so a lot of what my job and

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Speaker 2: what I do is outside of like writing my own

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Speaker 2: music and being an artist and all that kind of stuff,

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Speaker 2: is to write and produce records for other people. So

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Speaker 2: they were coming with an idea or a vibe or

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Speaker 2: even sometimes a song, and then I'll take that from

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Speaker 2: basically just an idea to a finished product.

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Speaker 1: Can you say I am an artist? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: I think it's a definitely a little bit harder to

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Speaker 2: say I'm an artist.

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Speaker 1: Can you say it? I mean it to me right now,

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Speaker 1: I'm an artist without without kind of like downplaying it

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Speaker 1: and awkwardly coughing straight after no.

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Speaker 2: I no, yeah, no, I definitely like, can admit that

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Speaker 2: I'm an artist, Like I've obviously say it I'm an artist,

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Speaker 2: and uh yeah, I've definitely put out a lot of records,

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Speaker 2: like under my own name like Matt Sofo and a

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Speaker 2: lot of under Pony other aliases Wildfire and obviously like

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Speaker 2: had a lot of.

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Speaker 1: Where did the name Wildfire come from?

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I think it just popped into my

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Speaker 2: head one day and I was like, I'm going to

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Speaker 2: drink again.

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Speaker 1: Well he's about to have some tea. Guys, if you're listening,

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Speaker 1: he's having a little sip. Yeap, Oh my goodness, loudest.

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Speaker 2: I did put my throat to the microphone at that time, though.

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Speaker 1: That's how it sounds for me all the time. One

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Speaker 1: thing I want to share that I don't think anyone

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Speaker 1: would know about you because I haven't. I say it

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Speaker 1: to people like, if we're hanging out with someone, do

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Speaker 1: you remember what you told me on the first night

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Speaker 1: we met. We met on bumble, first of all, we

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Speaker 1: didn't we And you were having dinner with your friends

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Speaker 1: at Neptune in Melbourne and they were djying. One of

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Speaker 1: them was Djane.

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Speaker 2: One of them was at one sixth one.

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Speaker 1: At a nightclub. So one six one is like a

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Speaker 1: pretty big nightclub in Melbourne. And you were like, come along.

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Speaker 1: I've just literally been to like Infrared Sauna and hyper

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Speaker 1: Great Chamber. I look like the record that has rest.

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Speaker 1: In fact, I look the exact same way right now

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Speaker 1: because I reminiscent just come from the sauna.

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Speaker 2: Made me wait two hours.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's right. I was so nervous. I was so

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Speaker 1: nervous that I made him wait two hours. And he said,

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Speaker 1: I can tell you're anxious. It's okay. We'll have a

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Speaker 1: safe word and you just tell me the safe word

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Speaker 1: and I'll pop you into an ubers straight away. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, this guy's funny ps, do you want

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Speaker 1: to share what our safe word is pineapples? But the

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Speaker 1: thing that you told me and I think sometimes like

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Speaker 1: you don't even realize one. I don't think Matt realizes

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Speaker 1: how talented he is. He's kind of one of those

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Speaker 1: like dark Horse really like almost like brooding over talented

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Speaker 1: and doesn't well you're brooding. Come on, You've got those

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Speaker 1: big eyes and dark complexion. I call him the Italian Stallion.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but he said he wanted to his

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Speaker 1: goal would be to produce like massive pop records like

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Speaker 1: Taylor Swift Styley and stuff like that. Definitely, So I

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Speaker 1: think you do downplay yourself.

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Speaker 2: I think I think that that's probably like I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever been like a person that

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Speaker 2: really like like well like talk myself up. I've always wanted,

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Speaker 2: like my work to speak volumes instead of me, Like

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Speaker 2: I've always hated those people, like they've always annoyed me,

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Speaker 2: like my whole life.

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Speaker 1: Am I like those people? No, not at all.

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Speaker 2: I think the people that like have really annoyed me,

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Speaker 2: the ones that like made a lot of like a

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Speaker 2: who ha and then just like didn't follow through with

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Speaker 2: like any product.

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Speaker 1: Who ha.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, who hah. So I think I think that that

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Speaker 2: kind of made me not like kind of be so

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Speaker 2: anti that and don't make any who ha and just

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Speaker 2: like show instead of tell.

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Speaker 1: I totally get that. But then like we literally live

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Speaker 1: our careers almost pole opposite. Like I will share to

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Speaker 1: Instagram and be like, yo, guys, I'm shitting myself. I'm

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Speaker 1: doing acting school and I'll share it with everyone. Whereas

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Speaker 1: you wouldn't do that. You'd go, you'd do the work,

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Speaker 1: you'd say quiet about it, and then you'd randomly pop

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Speaker 1: up in a TV show like you and I are

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Speaker 1: very different, Like we're doing a business together which will

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Speaker 1: be out by the time people were here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah they would. I feel like people like a pre

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Speaker 2: announcement before the actual like announcement sometimes is my take.

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Speaker 1: Take people on your journey, the good, the bad, the ugly,

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Speaker 1: just be real. And that's so the whole premise of

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Speaker 1: this podcast is how has a failure shaped you potentially

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Speaker 1: for the better or worse? So career wise, what would

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Speaker 1: you say has been like one of the like Big

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Speaker 1: kahoonas far as far as failure or is it getting

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Speaker 1: like dicked over in the industry or is it being

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Speaker 1: taken for a ride dating a monkey, Like what is it?

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Speaker 2: All of the above. I think I've done one of everything.

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Speaker 2: I think music industry in particular, like like failures that

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Speaker 2: have shaped me. Yeah, definitely like working with a few

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Speaker 2: of the wrong people that's been massive. Definitely been in

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Speaker 2: Like we're kind of like you know, like you signed

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Speaker 2: to labels, or you start working with like a publisher

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Speaker 2: or like you know, you signed to some like local

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Speaker 2: label or an international label or like whatever it is,

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Speaker 2: or you even produce a record for someone and just

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Speaker 2: like it all just turns the shit.

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Speaker 1: Do people blow smoke up your ears? Like yeah, we're

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Speaker 1: gonna do this great thing, absolutely freaking awesome.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. When I first started, absolutely like I would sit

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Speaker 2: in meetings and I'm like, yeah, so do this for

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Speaker 2: and do that for you, and it's like literally they

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Speaker 2: just don't follow through with like any of it. I think,

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Speaker 2: like I came to realize like very early on that

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Speaker 2: unless you kind of made it work for yourself, like

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Speaker 2: they're not going to do anything. Like they're essentially just

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Speaker 2: able to only you.

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Speaker 1: Know it's agents and stuff.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, agents and stuff like that. So like you know,

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Speaker 2: like like I've had booking agents, and I've traveled and

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Speaker 2: like you know, had tapes, gigs and all that kind

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Speaker 2: of they're facilitators, yeah, but unless like they're they're only

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Speaker 2: facilitating what you really kind of like so it's like

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Speaker 2: if you're not out there making a name for yourself

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Speaker 2: and doing like releasing music, like they're not doing anything

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Speaker 2: for you. You know, they literally just don't have that

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Speaker 2: capacity where like when they're signing you, they're like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: we can get you here and get you there, but

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Speaker 2: it's like the reality is like they can't unless you

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Speaker 2: putting out like big records. And I've even had like

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Speaker 2: big records that you know, I have done really well

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Speaker 2: in the ARIA charts, but then that didn't like exactly

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Speaker 2: translate to a lot of touring or a lot of

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Speaker 2: traveling at the time.

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Speaker 1: So fascinating. What about personally, like is anny values that

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Speaker 1: have shaped you? Like quite personally?

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Speaker 2: I think I think personally, I think working with people

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Speaker 2: that I thought with my friends, but then realizing that

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Speaker 2: just how much they're just in it for themselves, you

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Speaker 2: know that I was like a meal ticket or I

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Speaker 2: you know, just yeah, for their own like financial gain

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Speaker 2: and stuff like that. And even in situations where you know,

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Speaker 2: I've like produced for artists and that artists work with

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Speaker 2: other producers and then before they worked with me, and

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Speaker 2: then other producers coming back into the scene and going

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Speaker 2: actually hot on, we've got contracts with this person, like

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Speaker 2: you o us twenty percent of the thing.

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Speaker 1: And.

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Speaker 2: Like that was that was around yeah, and that everyone

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Speaker 2: wants a real piece of the pie. And it's like

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Speaker 2: unless you really know your rights and what you've actually

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Speaker 2: signed and contracts between people, like, it does get messy.

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Speaker 2: And I've had messy situations, but I've always like kind

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Speaker 2: of been the bigger person in all the situations. But

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Speaker 2: I definitely like think that I've lost out in a

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Speaker 2: few situations where I've made it kind of go away

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Speaker 2: instead of like fighting the fight to like the bitter end.

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Speaker 1: How do you think that you handle these values?

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Speaker 2: Massive learning curves for me are like there there's probably

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Speaker 2: like countless like situations you get. You get one of each,

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Speaker 2: you know, you get one of each situation that really

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Speaker 2: kind of shapes your next decision that you made, Like

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Speaker 2: working with certain labels like that I would never work

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Speaker 2: with again, or working with certain artists or singers or

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Speaker 2: producers that I would never work with again, So yeah,

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Speaker 2: there's been heaps of situations like that, But yeah, I

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Speaker 2: think definitely like more is like working with people that

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Speaker 2: you think of your friends and you just realize that

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Speaker 2: they're not.

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Speaker 1: So what's the value, Like, what would you say is

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Speaker 1: a cornerstone value that you have that has got you

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Speaker 1: through failing? What do you mean? Like, so I thought

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Speaker 1: I was leading you to the answer that I thought

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Speaker 1: I get. So for you, I know that respect is

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Speaker 1: very important. Respect is a big thing, and so is

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Speaker 1: there a value that has got you through? Like safe example,

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Speaker 1: you sign with some you signed with some artists and

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Speaker 1: they're like, oh my god, I'm going to work with you.

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Speaker 1: We're going to create this banger. It's going to go nuts,

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Speaker 1: it's going to be chartbust, blah blah blah, we're gonna

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Speaker 1: make kazooion dollars. Next and you do the hard work.

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Speaker 1: Next minute, they're producing with someone else and they bring

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Speaker 1: it out under another I'm sure this happens, this happened

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Speaker 1: in your industry. What is your value? Like, how do

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Speaker 1: you stay clear because it's very easy.

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Speaker 2: To get down and blop down And yeah, that definitely

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Speaker 2: like comes down to like respect and respecting each other.

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Speaker 2: I also like respect like our industry and like really

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Speaker 2: like believe in our industry and want want the most

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Speaker 2: in it and want it to last like forever, you know,

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Speaker 2: and I want the next generation to last. So I

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Speaker 2: don't really don't want these people like coming in and

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Speaker 2: fucking everything up. It's like there's people there that just

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Speaker 2: really just want to make a quick buck or just

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Speaker 2: fuck whatever. Like these people have built even before I

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Speaker 2: kind of started, and it's like I value that and

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Speaker 2: I have a lot of respect for that. So I

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Speaker 2: want to see that continue.

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Speaker 1: M nice and you drop the first F bomb on

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Speaker 1: the show. Oh fuck it, Let's do it, shall we?

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Speaker 1: I like, So I like that you're sharing about failure,

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Speaker 1: but I want to know, like when it's kind of

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Speaker 1: rock Ja and you've been like shit has hit the

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Speaker 1: fan and you've kind of had to face the music,

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Speaker 1: whether you're at Vault or not at Fold or has

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Speaker 1: it been when you've got have you got too stuck

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Speaker 1: in the party days? And you know, I kind of

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Speaker 1: want like I want you to give me more. I

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Speaker 1: want you to be more. No, No, it doesn't mean

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Speaker 1: like oh.

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Speaker 2: This label and this person, I think that my I

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Speaker 2: think my biggest failures were. I remember when I think

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Speaker 2: for me, I think it was around like twenty twelve,

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Speaker 2: twenty thirteen, kind of even twenty fourteen, coming into those

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Speaker 2: kind of years where I had like a really big

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Speaker 2: record and it did really really well in the RAH arts,

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Speaker 2: and then you know, I had been like licensed to

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Speaker 2: like three or four like different film commercials and stuff like.

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Speaker 1: That, and that's where the big bucks is correct.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of like sinking and stuff like that,

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Speaker 2: but explain a lot of sink is sink is just

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Speaker 2: getting like basically your music is used on a TV commercial, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: a TV commercial or any kind of commercial these days,

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Speaker 2: you know, And I think listening to people around me

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Speaker 2: and not trusting my gut, like especially like having like

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Speaker 2: one probably one specific friend that you know, everyone has

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Speaker 2: like that one kind of friend or person on the

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Speaker 2: periphery that doesn't really fucking know what they're doing, but

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Speaker 2: they always speak the loudest, and they speak the most

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Speaker 2: to make them sound the most important, like they do

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Speaker 2: know what they're talking about. And I kind of like,

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Speaker 2: you know, like kind I kind of brought into that, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, maybe he doesn't know what

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Speaker 2: he's talking about, like and I think that like that

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Speaker 2: kind of leave me to put out like records at

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Speaker 2: the wrong time and like not in a in an

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Speaker 2: order that I probably would have.

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Speaker 1: So timing is important.

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Speaker 2: But timing is important. And also like you know, you

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Speaker 2: follow up records, like what you follow up record sounds like?

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Speaker 2: And does it sound the same? Does it sound different?

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Speaker 2: Are you like taking your audience on a complete different

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Speaker 2: journey or are you staying on a course that your

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Speaker 2: audience wants to hear for the next like two or

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Speaker 2: three records and then you can hit them with something different.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, that was probably my first, like biggest failure,

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Speaker 2: I think, like allowing other people's influence over me when

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Speaker 2: I really should have trusted my gut. There's been countless

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Speaker 2: other ones, but even as you know, as little as

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Speaker 2: like two years ago, like literally signing a deal for

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Speaker 2: a new project and then just feeling sick as soon

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Speaker 2: as I signed it, going this is not gonna.

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Speaker 1: This is the worst feeling. Right, It's like your intuition

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Speaker 1: is like in the arts and you're like, what am

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Speaker 1: I doing? How'd you get out of it?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Currently still I have.

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Speaker 2: No no, not even a source. But I think it's

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Speaker 2: just like I learned very quick. I was like, don't

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Speaker 2: like trust what you feel before you sign it, not

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Speaker 2: just because it sounds good, but you know, or just

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Speaker 2: don't jump into something because you don't have a better

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Speaker 2: offer at the time, like a better offer will come

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Speaker 2: or another option will come.

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Speaker 1: So do you believe in intuition?

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Speaker 2: Absolutely?

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Speaker 1: And do you use it? Apart from that scenario, Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: I would say, like, did you use it when you

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Speaker 1: met me?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Yes, we're totally going to release this one day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Do I use my intuition? Yeah? I do. I

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Speaker 2: think probably like I.

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Speaker 1: Think you're actually kind, that's much. I'm a bit more

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Speaker 1: cutthroat with my intuition. If someone feels like a dingo,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you're done. I will walk away. I won't.

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Speaker 1: I used to be fiery when I was younger. I'd

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Speaker 1: like have it out Now. I was like, I'll get

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Speaker 1: a feeling that I'm for me. My thing is I

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Speaker 1: can't stand takers, and you're very good at pulling me

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Speaker 1: up on not overgiving. But it just you. You know,

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Speaker 1: when you meet someone, they either make you feel alive

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Speaker 1: and like anything is possible, or they make you feel

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Speaker 1: like they are literally taking everything they can get from you,

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Speaker 1: and you know, like I actually met someone this morning

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Speaker 1: and they asked me a question and I was like, Oh,

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Speaker 1: you're taking as much information from me as humanly possible

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Speaker 1: right now at my expense. And I could feel it.

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Speaker 1: And straight after I spoke to somebody different, I was

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Speaker 1: in a social situation and their energy was so much

400
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Speaker 1: more neutral and they actually genuinely gave a chit about

401
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Speaker 1: what I was saying. And you can feel it. And

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Speaker 1: it takes time to believe that, like and to really

403
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Speaker 1: kind of like have your own back. And a good

404
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Speaker 1: mate of mine, Kemmy, says she's an amazing motivational speaker,

405
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Speaker 1: and she always says, your intuition is ninety eight to

406
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Speaker 1: ninety nine percent bang.

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Speaker 2: On, Yeah, yeah it is. I agree. I think on

408
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,960
Speaker 2: that as well. Though there is two different scenarios there

409
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Speaker 2: that I always kind of think about where you know me, like,

410
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Speaker 2: I cut people like pretty easily.

411
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Speaker 1: Do all the listeners out there do not ever wrong

412
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Speaker 1: Matt Sofo, He will literally cut you out of his life.

413
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Speaker 1: Although it's a virgo trait, it's a male virgo trait.

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Speaker 1: If this is can we just own that as a

415
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Speaker 1: people listening about I believe I'm a virgo to we're

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Speaker 1: two days apart, I'm two days older, cougar cougar. But

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Speaker 1: it's I don't think female virgos do it. As to

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Speaker 1: the extent, I've dated male virgo before and I have

419
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Speaker 1: never spoked no more right in room accidentally, Yeah you're

420
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Speaker 1: the same. Yeah, No, I know.

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Speaker 2: And I suppose I famously say like I'll cut a

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Speaker 2: bitch no proms.

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Speaker 1: That's Matt's that's Matt's favorite line, cut a bitch, no props.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. But the thing is like I'll give someone a chance,

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Speaker 2: and I'll give someone every opportunity until it doesn't feel

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Speaker 2: right and then I just literally can't be around and

427
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Speaker 2: or can't work with them, or I can't do it

428
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Speaker 2: because I feel physic like physically ill, and I think

429
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Speaker 2: that that that like that energy exchange doesn't sit well

430
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Speaker 2: with me. So that's why I do like cut people

431
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Speaker 2: like that. The other thing like doesn't gonna touch on

432
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Speaker 2: is yes, like sometimes there is like a weird energy

433
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Speaker 2: exchange where someone is kind of like, you know, they

434
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Speaker 2: come up and ask you like so many questions or

435
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:50,440
Speaker 2: really want to pick your brain. And I'll take those

436
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:53,040
Speaker 2: scenarios one of two ways one where I'll be like,

437
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Speaker 2: this person just really wants to absorb everything from me,

438
00:22:56,119 --> 00:22:59,000
Speaker 2: and I'm like so happy to do that, but I'm

439
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,800
Speaker 2: not happy when they're like literally just taking everything from

440
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,800
Speaker 2: me to use for themselves and not acknowledge that they

441
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 2: got that from me or that I helped them or

442
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 2: meant that situation.

443
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,160
Speaker 1: You're in the industry of that, yeah, no, of course,

444
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:16,159
Speaker 1: but you need to know that. Like I've watched that

445
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,919
Speaker 1: many dickheads in the media world because that's part of

446
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:23,520
Speaker 1: my job. Literally, like oh, it's like not please quick

447
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:25,800
Speaker 1: know that not everyone is like this, but master chef

448
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:28,280
Speaker 1: people they'll come off they'll think they're really famous or

449
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:32,400
Speaker 1: reality stars. Well there's some good ones. There's some really

450
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:36,400
Speaker 1: good ones out there too. But and and I think

451
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:39,840
Speaker 1: that reality fame makes for that real taky like I'm

452
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:41,240
Speaker 1: just going to run with this. I've got one hundred

453
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 1: thousand Instagram followers, I'm going to do all these things

454
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:46,080
Speaker 1: and make all this money, and I'm famous now, and

455
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:48,800
Speaker 1: it's just like reality check, You're not going to be

456
00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:50,920
Speaker 1: famous in a year and a half's time. And I

457
00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:53,680
Speaker 1: find it a bit horrible when I've felt like definitely

458
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 1: I've been taken for a ride. But I feel that

459
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 1: pretty quick. If I know someone's in it for the

460
00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:01,640
Speaker 1: fame game, I'll you've seen me. I cut a bitch,

461
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:02,399
Speaker 1: no probs.

462
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,119
Speaker 2: Now, yeah, no, you do, And like we see that

463
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 2: all the time, like even with our jobs, like you

464
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 2: and I are in the industry music, and like even

465
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 2: like Instagram models and health world stuff like it literally

466
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 2: it's all the same.

467
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 1: That's way nicer than me. I'll be like, no, They'll

468
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 1: be like, can you do this talk for free? And

469
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:22,120
Speaker 1: I'll never pay you, and but you can instagram me yeh.

470
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,439
Speaker 1: I literally am so good now I respond with I

471
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:26,560
Speaker 1: need to put food on the table.

472
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, well I get the same. I'm like, can

473
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 2: you do this for exposure? And it's like I fucking

474
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:32,680
Speaker 2: pay my bills with exposure?

475
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 1: Do Yeah? Yeah, yeah totally. There's one more thing I

476
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:38,280
Speaker 1: wanted to ask you about. You've been such a champ

477
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 1: during my first ever podcast, and I do I'm going

478
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:42,919
Speaker 1: to fight you to make sure that this does get released.

479
00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:45,280
Speaker 2: A sure one. We've only been going for about twenty

480
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:45,800
Speaker 2: two minutes.

481
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:49,080
Speaker 1: Well, hang on, this question could be one. I want

482
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:51,679
Speaker 1: to know if you're comfortable talking about anxiety.

483
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely so.

484
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:57,880
Speaker 1: When you and I met, Yeah, it triggered. Yeah something

485
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:00,440
Speaker 1: they say, real love can do that, do you reckon? Well,

486
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:04,919
Speaker 1: I'm talent myself. That explained to me. So you suffer

487
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:08,879
Speaker 1: from anxiety, Yeah, I get anxiety, And can you explain

488
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 1: how that physically manifests for you and how it looks

489
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:12,840
Speaker 1: and feels.

490
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:19,480
Speaker 2: So physical manifestations For me, it is. Look, it has

491
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 2: changed throughout my life where it has manifested in different ways,

492
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:27,360
Speaker 2: where like I think, like when you're a little bit younger,

493
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 2: it kind of more well for me, I should say,

494
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,320
Speaker 2: it manifested a bit more in the you know, I

495
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,080
Speaker 2: feel sick in the stomach. I think I'm going to

496
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 2: like maybe like vomit, or like you know, I'm gonna.

497
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,320
Speaker 1: When you're like a school kid, yeah.

498
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:42,680
Speaker 2: You know, or like even like young adult, I feel

499
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:45,040
Speaker 2: a little bit sick in the stomach, or you know

500
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 2: what when you're nervous when you yeah, you know, I

501
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:49,600
Speaker 2: got to go do a nervous p or maybe I'm

502
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 2: like I'm going to ship my pants up.

503
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:55,200
Speaker 1: We love talking about I don't I do.

504
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:59,119
Speaker 2: So I think that that that was maybe an earlier

505
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:03,280
Speaker 2: manifestation of like, you know, what is this feeling like,

506
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:06,360
Speaker 2: you know, and I would you know, like you can

507
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,679
Speaker 2: play like one hundred thousand gigs, and I think that

508
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 2: like I would still probably have that some feeling of

509
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 2: like nerves or anxiety or whatever.

510
00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 1: It was, like, I think there's a beautiful feeling for that,

511
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:20,400
Speaker 1: that's right there. I get that acting school every week,

512
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 1: I'm like so stressed and nervous and anxious, and I'm

513
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:27,119
Speaker 1: like and I either I'm running to the bathroom or

514
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,920
Speaker 1: I'm eating more. Yeah yeah, oh yeah eating as well,

515
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:34,480
Speaker 1: Like yeah, some people do that or don't leaner. Yes,

516
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,679
Speaker 1: by the way, I am lean felt velt.

517
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:42,399
Speaker 2: So that was my probably earliest manifestations of feeling anxious.

518
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:45,560
Speaker 2: And then probably two years ago was the first time

519
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,879
Speaker 2: that I had a proper panic attack.

520
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 1: Just before Coachella.

521
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was in the morning before and I was

522
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 2: kind of like the whole like leading into like the

523
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 2: whole trip, Like I was just probably not in a

524
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:03,199
Speaker 2: good headspace, and I was quite I was definitely like

525
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:11,359
Speaker 2: quite like nervous, anxious, worked up, not calm like such

526
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 2: such like a barrage of like real different like feelings

527
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:15,880
Speaker 2: and emotions and.

528
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,680
Speaker 1: Stuff like can we add in you're also trying to

529
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:19,120
Speaker 1: quit smoking at the same time.

530
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:22,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, okay, so that that actually packa day. Yeah, yeah,

531
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,960
Speaker 2: so that actually came as well because there was a

532
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:31,040
Speaker 2: different anxiety because I the thought of flying for fourteen

533
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:36,199
Speaker 2: hours and not smoking was like my biggest parly was

534
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:39,639
Speaker 2: massive fear. Yeah, I was like what if, like I

535
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:41,879
Speaker 2: just didn't know, sitting there with like cravings for and

536
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 2: believe me, I'd gone like fourteen hours no smoking like

537
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:48,479
Speaker 2: so many times in life and it's really not a problem,

538
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 2: like it's so doable, but when you build it up

539
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:55,000
Speaker 2: in your head for so long leading into like, you know,

540
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,879
Speaker 2: a long time, the thing is like I've gone to

541
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,159
Speaker 2: Europe like you know a few times as well, and

542
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 2: that's like, you know, you're not smoking for like a

543
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:05,639
Speaker 2: whole twenty four hours or something like that. But for

544
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 2: some reason, this whole situation just seemed a lot worse

545
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 2: than it was.

546
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:13,560
Speaker 1: Not to overshare, but do you believe that you were

547
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:16,560
Speaker 1: in a situation where you maybe weren't that supported.

548
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent, I definitely think. Yeah. I was

549
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 2: definitely like, you're referring to my last relationship.

550
00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:26,359
Speaker 1: But anyway, what are we going to say? What you

551
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:26,880
Speaker 1: going to say?

552
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:28,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like you love touching on that, like

553
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:30,679
Speaker 2: you like to ask little questions, which is fine.

554
00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 1: It's important to share what's real. It's about failing. And

555
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 1: I think that experience view would have been very beautiful

556
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:41,040
Speaker 1: in some ways, but in other ways it would have

557
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:42,240
Speaker 1: felt yuck.

558
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:46,240
Speaker 2: Absolutely. Yeah. So yeah, I suppose like going back to

559
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 2: like that America thing. So yeah, I was not in

560
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,720
Speaker 2: a good headspace, like really leading into it. And yeah,

561
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,920
Speaker 2: the quitting like smoking or cutting down and you know,

562
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 2: like going crap, can I go on a forty an

563
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:59,760
Speaker 2: hour flight or whatever? It was, so that all really

564
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 2: did lead into that, like into that anxiety and you know.

565
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:09,959
Speaker 1: And so just to show when you met me, we

566
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 1: had our first like sexy weekend away and it happened

567
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:20,160
Speaker 1: at lunch the next day. We were in a public

568
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, and I had never experienced it with you

569
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:28,360
Speaker 1: with you before before that, and it was like shureness

570
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 1: of breath, felt sick, couldn't eat anything, and you would

571
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 1: get a cough, right, and that was like because it

572
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 1: was so hard to breathe correct.

573
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, So if I let out a bit of

574
00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 2: a cough or something like that, or I clear my throat,

575
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 2: that's like a like definitely like a physical manifestation of

576
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 2: and like I'll do it, like I'll probably listen back

577
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:49,280
Speaker 2: to this and I'm going, Matt, you fucking coughed.

578
00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 1: Like I love that you have, though, because that shows

579
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 1: me that you're being honest and open and vulnerable and

580
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:57,880
Speaker 1: it's uncomfortable being vulnerable. So I love that.

581
00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, But you know a little bit of that is

582
00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 2: like are you nervous or are you anxious? And it's

583
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:04,720
Speaker 2: like you maybe you might cough because you're a bit nervous,

584
00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 2: but you know, and they're not not be anxious or

585
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 2: have anxiety or have a panic attack, but then it

586
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:13,120
Speaker 2: might be like an early warning sign that you are

587
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 2: kind of going into like a panic or a fear.

588
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 2: But like just going back though, like I actually didn't

589
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:22,880
Speaker 2: have a panic attack between America and then that weekend

590
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 2: with you of trigger long was the trigger, so and

591
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:30,040
Speaker 2: I think I think it was like both like you know,

592
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 2: also like big build up of like stress and change

593
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 2: and all those kinds of things that happens in your

594
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:38,320
Speaker 2: life and you don't realize like that you haven't really

595
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:40,880
Speaker 2: dealt with things. But I think like also like that

596
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:43,080
Speaker 2: weekend with you, like that was a bit of a

597
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:47,440
Speaker 2: confronting weekend as well. Sexy Times you mean Sexy Times weekend,

598
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:49,960
Speaker 2: but like, you know, I think a few as well,

599
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 2: like not realizing probably at the time, but you know,

600
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:55,520
Speaker 2: like we had.

601
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 1: Told me, that's the first time I farted in front

602
00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:02,360
Speaker 1: of you, didn't you. Yeah, you're asleep, that's fine. I

603
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:05,640
Speaker 1: was so embarrassed at the start. Now you cannot stop me, Yeah.

604
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:08,080
Speaker 2: No I can't. But like I've dated enough girls to

605
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 2: like know that we do far. Yeah, girls fart, Yeah,

606
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,120
Speaker 2: they do all of that. So anyone listening.

607
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 1: Girls do what's that awesome thing you told me about PDD?

608
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 2: He said that, he said, if he goes girls fart,

609
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 2: he goes. If a girl lies about, if a girl

610
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 2: doesn't fart, if a girl says they don't fart, they're lying, right,

611
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,719
Speaker 2: And he's like, if a girl can lie about not faring,

612
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 2: what else they're lying about?

613
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally. I am someone that never farted in front

614
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: of me, And I was like, is there something wrong

615
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 1: with your bows because it's a very natural, healthy thing

616
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:45,320
Speaker 1: to do.

617
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, but anyway, in your sleep, I don't

618
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:50,720
Speaker 2: think you could have controlled that anyway, So you definitely

619
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:55,880
Speaker 2: got a free pass, thank you, but we digressed.

620
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 1: Sorry. No, So that weekend he was saying there was

621
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 1: a build was like our first time.

622
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 2: I was, yeah, probably all that definitely as well, and

623
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,959
Speaker 2: but like also like we've been like I didn't like

624
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 2: I think to like every like everyone around us that

625
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:11,360
Speaker 2: knew us, like they didn't know that we were like

626
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 2: seeing each other. So and also that was basically our

627
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:20,960
Speaker 2: first weekend that like, although fucking Instagram is great, you

628
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,120
Speaker 2: put it on my story, it was the first weekend

629
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 2: that we put it on our stories and like, yeah, okay,

630
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 2: like you know my two and a half thousand, but

631
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:30,600
Speaker 2: your one hundred and twenty thousand, and like you know,

632
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 2: my view count on like my Instagram basically like was

633
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 2: like tenfold that weekend, and as well, my inbox like

634
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 2: was full of messages and my phone was full of

635
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:46,360
Speaker 2: messages literally being like are you dating Laula Berry?

636
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 1: So this is where I because I never seen myself

637
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:53,480
Speaker 1: as anything other than a goober. Really yeah that follow

638
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:57,000
Speaker 1: you were though, Yeah I am the world's biggest guba.

639
00:32:57,080 --> 00:33:00,720
Speaker 1: But I don't see like this whole like Amy side,

640
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 1: can I use that word to me? Doesn't feel real?

641
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 1: So and it was probably quite insensitive of me to

642
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:11,600
Speaker 1: expect two that I could share our little waterfall hikes

643
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:12,160
Speaker 1: and the romance.

644
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 2: I love that you shared it, like I wouldn't change

645
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 2: it or anything like that. But excuse me, that was

646
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 2: a real cough by the way, and I don't that's.

647
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 1: All right, this is good, it's moneral. I expect you

648
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 1: to have a little feelings.

649
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 2: I think that I think for me as well. I

650
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:31,600
Speaker 2: probably didn't like like you know, not like comparing like

651
00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 2: excess or like whatever. But it's like, you know, that

652
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 2: was like you know, dated to God, maybe had like

653
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:39,760
Speaker 2: ten thousand followers that like you know, there really wasn't

654
00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 2: much like impact like that would follow through from me.

655
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,760
Speaker 2: But like you are in, You're in like a much

656
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:49,240
Speaker 2: more public kind of eye and have kind of.

657
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 1: Like this is going to sound like a really wanker

658
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 1: thing to say, but I don't feel like I am.

659
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 1: I feel like when I share something on instant, my

660
00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:00,360
Speaker 1: rule is be real. So I don't know, but thank you.

661
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 1: But I don't feel like I'm any bigger than anyone

662
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:06,959
Speaker 1: else or having more of following than anyone else. I

663
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:10,640
Speaker 1: just think I'm Lola. I'm doing this thing as long

664
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,600
Speaker 1: as I'm doing what I love and being real. Hopefully

665
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:15,680
Speaker 1: that's go to inspire people. But I can but I

666
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:19,520
Speaker 1: can understand how for you that would be confronting to

667
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 1: have all these randoms and like, like you said, you

668
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 1: have dated someone with the following before, so all her

669
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 1: friends are going to be checking your page and riding

670
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:28,359
Speaker 1: to you, and they did interrogating you. And I don't

671
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:31,800
Speaker 1: think that I really took that. That was probably selfish

672
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 1: of me to not take that into consideration.

673
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:35,759
Speaker 2: I don't think that either of us really realized that.

674
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 2: I didn't think that.

675
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:38,239
Speaker 1: They were just having a funny night.

676
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:39,880
Speaker 2: We just had it. We just had a great weekend.

677
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:43,360
Speaker 2: I didn't think that we actually, like Matt, build a fire.

678
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:45,760
Speaker 2: I did go ad a fire. There's a photo somewhere

679
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 2: I've got. There's a dog that banging.

680
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 1: Is this beautiful Golden retriever Billy's tail so and he's

681
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:56,080
Speaker 1: obsessed with Matt. I'm going to say it on air

682
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 1: or is this air?

683
00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 2: I think you can say air. It's like on the podcast,

684
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:01,320
Speaker 2: on the on the pod.

685
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 1: On the potty Billy likes you more than me. He

686
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:07,759
Speaker 1: definitely I'm a bit too. I'm like out of the

687
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:10,480
Speaker 1: kitchen Billy I've been raised. My dad's a bit. I've

688
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:12,680
Speaker 1: been raised animals. Animals do not belong in your bed

689
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:13,640
Speaker 1: or in the kitchen.

690
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I don't think.

691
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:17,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you're more lenient.

692
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,280
Speaker 2: I don't want that like dog butt on my pillow.

693
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:20,560
Speaker 2: That's how you get pink eye. O.

694
00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:25,720
Speaker 1: Sure, So okay, just to I think just yet.

695
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 2: Going back, I just like I didn't think that any

696
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:29,120
Speaker 2: of us realized it. I didn't think that I knew

697
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,800
Speaker 2: that I would have reacted like that, and I don't.

698
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 2: I didn't know you like that. I would probably get

699
00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:39,280
Speaker 2: a little bit panicky or anxious about like the whole situation.

700
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:43,320
Speaker 2: But also like when I met you, you like, I didn't.

701
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:45,839
Speaker 2: I didn't put you on a pedestal that you were

702
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 2: like a bit more in the public eye or anything, like.

703
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,440
Speaker 1: You didn't even know what I did, did you, Like.

704
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:54,600
Speaker 2: I probably like heard your name around, you know, you know,

705
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:56,840
Speaker 2: I like I probably heard your name around, but I didn't, like,

706
00:35:57,160 --> 00:36:00,760
Speaker 2: obviously I don't even take notice of them.

707
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 1: He definitely didn't pump my tires up.

708
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,840
Speaker 2: Put it that way, Yeah, but I didn't pump anyone's tires.

709
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,360
Speaker 2: I take I take people. I'm like your job and

710
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:10,919
Speaker 2: what you do is like one part, and like who

711
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 2: you are as a person is like what I what

712
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 2: I look at like in a person, and I all

713
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:17,280
Speaker 2: I really like focus on.

714
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:22,480
Speaker 1: Can I ask you to share them? When you did

715
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:24,839
Speaker 1: have the panic attacks and you realize that you were

716
00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:29,839
Speaker 1: going through anxiety which was then impacting your mood and

717
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:33,839
Speaker 1: making you feel down and sad, which is completely understandable,

718
00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:36,840
Speaker 1: how did you deal with that and how did you

719
00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:40,719
Speaker 1: treat umm? Because I don't think I think people are

720
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 1: now thinking shining a light on mental health, but I

721
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:44,880
Speaker 1: don't think that they're making it okay to go and

722
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:45,359
Speaker 1: get help.

723
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:50,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, you got to go get help, Like if you

724
00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:53,640
Speaker 2: keep having panic attacks or you are literally feeling crippled

725
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:56,960
Speaker 2: by it, it is very very hard to do it

726
00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 2: on your own. And literally as great as like your

727
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:03,319
Speaker 2: parents are and your friends are and all that kind

728
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 2: of stuff, and like even your girlfriend and offense, I'm

729
00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:11,239
Speaker 2: taken either, like they really just are not equipped to

730
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:14,640
Speaker 2: help you. And we're biased exactly, and they're bias. Your

731
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 2: family's biased, and your friends always gonna be like, yeah,

732
00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:20,120
Speaker 2: you'll be fine and all that kind of stuff. Go

733
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 2: seek help. So for me, my first two things was

734
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:28,280
Speaker 2: straight back to my therapists to be able to start

735
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 2: like kind of working through what was going.

736
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:34,480
Speaker 1: To which you'd gone through, not recently, but you've gone

737
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:35,600
Speaker 1: through to help through the breakup.

738
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:38,760
Speaker 2: Correct. Yeah, so like I'm also a big believer of therapy.

739
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:42,239
Speaker 1: Same we bonded. I remember on a like second date,

740
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,719
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't thank you. Matt's getting be

741
00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 1: my tea so I can make swallowing noises to.

742
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:48,120
Speaker 2: With your throat to the microphone.

743
00:37:48,320 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 1: Hang on, this is what Matt sounds like.

744
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:52,399
Speaker 2: You gotta put your throat up to the mic. Do it?

745
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:57,800
Speaker 1: Yeah? See that's how I know. I accentuated it.

746
00:37:57,880 --> 00:37:58,960
Speaker 2: Yes, how you swallow?

747
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 1: No, it's not I'm quiet as a little mouse anyway.

748
00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:08,600
Speaker 2: Sorry, I yes, I saw my therapist for after my

749
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 2: last breakup. I went back to my therapist and I

750
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:15,360
Speaker 2: was like, look, this is the situation. I don't want

751
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:20,920
Speaker 2: any basically like lingering problems. I don't want anything to

752
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:23,520
Speaker 2: like affect me later in life. I want to get

753
00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 2: really clear on like the whole breakup. I want to

754
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 2: be clear on like the whole situation.

755
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:31,000
Speaker 1: You also don't want regret.

756
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want like regrets. I don't want anything like that.

757
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:36,120
Speaker 2: I just want the Situ society.

758
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:36,359
Speaker 1: Cough.

759
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:36,799
Speaker 2: I love it.

760
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:41,000
Speaker 1: Who knows I love it? I love it. I think

761
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:42,120
Speaker 1: it's fucking awesome.

762
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:44,440
Speaker 2: So yeah, so I definitely went and I just like

763
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 2: really just I talked everything out and I was like cool,

764
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:51,480
Speaker 2: got really fucking clear on everything. Also, I you know,

765
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:53,879
Speaker 2: I kind of gave myself that like three months. I

766
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:56,879
Speaker 2: was like, just give yourself this gift of three months ago.

767
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 1: No sex. Yeah, so no, poor Nanni. NONI no drugs,

768
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 1: no alcohol. There was a bit of drugs and alcohol,

769
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:07,480
Speaker 1: was there.

770
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah?

771
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 1: Clean?

772
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 2: No? No, no, no, I oh no, actually you win

773
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 2: clean boss, I went pretty clean.

774
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 1: Yeah you went to Byron Bay you like reset?

775
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:23,800
Speaker 2: Oh god, no, no, you're right, No, no, you're right. Sorry,

776
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:24,560
Speaker 2: I'm messing up.

777
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:26,680
Speaker 1: You had drugs on your birthday before you met me.

778
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:27,640
Speaker 2: Okay, thank you for.

779
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:31,480
Speaker 1: Because I'm not a big drug user. That's why we're

780
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:32,360
Speaker 1: having this conversation.

781
00:39:32,719 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 2: Drug user at all.

782
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 1: No, but I used to be a DJ. Everyone knows

783
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:37,040
Speaker 1: I used to party. I used to be DJ and

784
00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:39,000
Speaker 1: I was like nineteen years old and I had a

785
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:39,600
Speaker 1: lot of fun then.

786
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:41,839
Speaker 2: Yeah. Look I've never been like I've never actually been

787
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 2: a big partier anyway. My whole life.

788
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:46,920
Speaker 1: Matt. We don't lie here. We know you've been a.

789
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:50,480
Speaker 2: J that's I like, have you done drugs, Yes, of course,

790
00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 2: but like it's a misconception that like I always did drugs.

791
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 2: I was actually like quite like anti drugs for like

792
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:57,359
Speaker 2: a long time, Like I saw like.

793
00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:59,080
Speaker 1: That you had a fun park time.

794
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,239
Speaker 2: Of course, Yeah, absolutely absolutely, but like you know, I'd

795
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 2: also seen the very shit parts of of people around me,

796
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 2: like you know, using drugs and even alcohol to a

797
00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:12,879
Speaker 2: massive extent and then fucking their lives up. But yeah,

798
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:15,399
Speaker 2: I did a big clean. I did that three months

799
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 2: clean and then no sugar and then yeah in there,

800
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:21,160
Speaker 2: no sugar, no partying. I was in Byron and all

801
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:22,560
Speaker 2: that kind of stuff. And then I did go off

802
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:25,120
Speaker 2: the rails for a little a little while when.

803
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:28,920
Speaker 1: We had three girls on the setd I don't think yesterday.

804
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:31,520
Speaker 1: Yesterday we were sitting in his car and we were

805
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:37,680
Speaker 1: waiting for our business and I gave him a smooch

806
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:39,439
Speaker 1: in the car and we were waiting out in front

807
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:42,800
Speaker 1: of Rob's house, and who were bringing this Lola coffee

808
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:44,600
Speaker 1: out with which will be out by the time that

809
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:47,239
Speaker 1: this comes out. So it's fine to say and I

810
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:48,560
Speaker 1: said to Matt. I just looked at him, and I

811
00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:49,880
Speaker 1: thought it was a throw away long because I've never

812
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:52,600
Speaker 1: had sex with anyone in my new car. I know

813
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:53,920
Speaker 1: you're going to pull me up on that in my

814
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:56,000
Speaker 1: new car. I haven't. And I said, if you had

815
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:58,280
Speaker 1: sex with anyone in his car? And he just went silent.

816
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:01,480
Speaker 1: And then I was like, oh, oh, I can hear

817
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:07,919
Speaker 1: that feedback your phone? And I could, and he looked,

818
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:09,799
Speaker 1: sixty people has had sex within that car.

819
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:12,280
Speaker 2: Your parents know, not people.

820
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:16,319
Speaker 1: You said, times, oh, sorry, times we've phoned in the car.

821
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:19,280
Speaker 2: Sixty I've also had girlfriends and I've had like stuff

822
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:20,920
Speaker 2: like that in the past, like of course, like a

823
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 2: bit of beach ship happens, like shit happens. You never

824
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:25,880
Speaker 2: know where it happens.

825
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:28,439
Speaker 1: Sometimes you are a very in the moment soul, which

826
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 1: I do love about you. Yeah, I do love you.

827
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:32,839
Speaker 1: Even I'm throwing up to the bus a little bit.

828
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:35,279
Speaker 2: What I think we should interview you next for the

829
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:36,720
Speaker 2: next half an hour, Well.

830
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:40,680
Speaker 1: We can interview me, but I do want I just

831
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:43,399
Speaker 1: I do want to really like en all serious go back.

832
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:45,719
Speaker 2: Let's go back to the anxiety stuff and what I

833
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:46,960
Speaker 2: did and like all that kids.

834
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:49,280
Speaker 1: On our second date, I told you I have a therapist,

835
00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:51,200
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, that's such a turn on.

836
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:53,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, because I mean the way that I

837
00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:56,600
Speaker 2: look at it is that you know, we spend you know,

838
00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,200
Speaker 2: we spend so much time. We said this to each other,

839
00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:01,160
Speaker 2: like we both agree on, like we spend time on

840
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:03,759
Speaker 2: our hair and getting fit and doing yoga and doing

841
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:06,000
Speaker 2: pilates and wearing nice clothes and.

842
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,880
Speaker 1: Now famously says, do you want to touch my pilates eggs,

843
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:12,320
Speaker 1: touch my glues and his gluess, like go on, touch on.

844
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:14,440
Speaker 2: You know, we spend so much time, like really like

845
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:17,520
Speaker 2: refining every physical part of ourselves. But we the least

846
00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:20,200
Speaker 2: time that we spend on ourselves is on our mind.

847
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 2: And for me, you know, I want to be kind

848
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:24,880
Speaker 2: of like the best version of myself and be the

849
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 2: most creative and you know whatever it is. So yeah,

850
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:31,239
Speaker 2: I love the fact that you worked on yourself and

851
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:33,360
Speaker 2: I loved it and I still do as well.

852
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:35,719
Speaker 1: Like we've got a big shoot coming up next week

853
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 1: and I'm shitting myself and all my old stuff's coming up.

854
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:41,880
Speaker 1: Thank god, I've got my therapist Terry tomorrow.

855
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's a thing like you know they're going

856
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 2: to help you when you find the right one. They're

857
00:42:46,719 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 2: going to help you get clear on certain situations and scenarios,

858
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:53,120
Speaker 2: Like they're going to help you come to whatever is

859
00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:53,960
Speaker 2: I heard you folloy b.

860
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:57,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, I realized my face just dropped. Mic.

861
00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:00,680
Speaker 2: I was like, they're like a therapy is definitely gonna

862
00:43:00,719 --> 00:43:03,880
Speaker 2: help you whatever issue it is. Like I got so

863
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 2: many friends that have seen therapists for such different.

864
00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 1: You need it for life, sorry, but like it's like

865
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,319
Speaker 1: Jim ver you brain like you do. You do need

866
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 1: it for life. But another thing to mention is like

867
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:18,400
Speaker 1: you change therapist who also tried hypno done hypno.

868
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:21,840
Speaker 2: Also to mention, thanks to you, I have a wonderful

869
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:22,439
Speaker 2: natural path.

870
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:25,080
Speaker 1: Jad Patrick.

871
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 2: Is actually like just incredible.

872
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:30,759
Speaker 1: I think likes more than me something I do.

873
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:32,759
Speaker 2: I love. And I love picking his brain because I

874
00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 2: love all that you know, like.

875
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:40,200
Speaker 1: The anxiety topic. Because he's so passionate about mindfulness is

876
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:41,560
Speaker 1: a natural path nutrition.

877
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:44,359
Speaker 2: He introduced me to mindfulness, so.

878
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 1: We meditate together.

879
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:49,600
Speaker 2: Now, up until then I had been meditating anyway, but

880
00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 2: I'd been more meditating on like on breath, a lot

881
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:58,839
Speaker 2: on breath, but a lot of like visualization stuff, and

882
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 2: you know all that kind of like guide that kind

883
00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:05,160
Speaker 2: of guided meditation vibes where Jad introduced me to like

884
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:07,960
Speaker 2: the more mindfulness stuff. So getting actually a little bit

885
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:10,720
Speaker 2: more in tune with what you're feeling and what you're thinking,

886
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:13,319
Speaker 2: which is what I ended up kind of having a

887
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 2: bit of a problem with. I wasn't as kind of

888
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:18,960
Speaker 2: in tune with what I was feeling or what I

889
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 2: was thinking, and I didn't really understand what I was

890
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:24,120
Speaker 2: why I was having like the anxiety, or why it

891
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 2: didn't go away, or why it was just continuing. So

892
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:31,840
Speaker 2: that massively helped me. And Jad just helped me so

893
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:35,000
Speaker 2: much with like getting me on like certain supplements and

894
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:39,680
Speaker 2: even though as healthy as I was, also being with

895
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:42,720
Speaker 2: you makes me a little bit extra healthy. Yeah, definitely.

896
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:44,719
Speaker 2: But like I think for mental health, we just don't

897
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:47,600
Speaker 2: realize that, like, you know, what you put into your

898
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:51,520
Speaker 2: body is the number one thing that is going to

899
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:54,840
Speaker 2: help you. And if you do feel anxiety, the first

900
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:58,520
Speaker 2: thing to do is literally like just clean up everything

901
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:01,399
Speaker 2: in your life. Eat good foods, eat happy foods, go out,

902
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 2: get fresh air, go like go for a walk, exercise,

903
00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:08,839
Speaker 2: go forest breathing. Literally like watch a funny movie, sit

904
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:11,279
Speaker 2: with your loved ones, like just get out of you.

905
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 1: And I have an obsession with Will Farrell.

906
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:15,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, yeah, he's got He's just.

907
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 1: The comedic, the comic genius. Just watch and command and

908
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:23,280
Speaker 1: you will be happy. But that said, I think also

909
00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 1: know that it takes time to find the right therapist

910
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:27,800
Speaker 1: for you, and always give it four sessions.

911
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:32,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll save more really given like six sessions, yeah,

912
00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:34,279
Speaker 2: or maybe four if you if you get a bad

913
00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:36,399
Speaker 2: vibe straight away, then just suck it off, like don't

914
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:38,640
Speaker 2: even bother, and I'll always give it.

915
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 1: Too, because the first one is horrible because you're just

916
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:44,200
Speaker 1: like off floating, you're literally pretty much crying. Yeah, And

917
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:47,560
Speaker 1: basically sharing was to me, I was just sharing. I

918
00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:50,319
Speaker 1: was I went for heartbreak and I was like, I'm

919
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:53,640
Speaker 1: so sad, and I think you just sat there with

920
00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:56,680
Speaker 1: the tissues and then like I think that he said,

921
00:45:56,719 --> 00:45:59,520
Speaker 1: like a few few weeks later, is just like are

922
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:01,560
Speaker 1: we going to be silly and sad today or are

923
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 1: we going to manner? And I was like, oh shit.

924
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:06,200
Speaker 2: So yeah I was. I was a complete opposite, Like

925
00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:08,399
Speaker 2: I went in there going fuck, I haven't cried once.

926
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:13,400
Speaker 2: I was like, what's wrong with me, I too on,

927
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:16,200
Speaker 2: Like I definitely like feel emotions and things like that.

928
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:20,160
Speaker 2: But you know, I walked into the sessions and being like,

929
00:46:20,239 --> 00:46:21,279
Speaker 2: why the fuck am I not?

930
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:23,319
Speaker 1: Why are you talking away from the mind.

931
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:24,680
Speaker 2: I was just checking the thing. I was like, I

932
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:26,920
Speaker 2: haven't cried once, Like do I not feel any emotion?

933
00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:31,440
Speaker 2: Am I not sad about this? She goes, You've just

934
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 2: just means you've done the right thing. You know, You've

935
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 2: kind of like come out of a situation. It's like

936
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 2: I was so scared of like being sad or being

937
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 2: depressed and all that kind of stuff. But I just

938
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:43,120
Speaker 2: got so clear on myself that I just didn't feel

939
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:46,279
Speaker 2: any of that sadness or depression or anything like that.

940
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 2: I was like, this was you know, this was the

941
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:50,799
Speaker 2: right thing to happen. You don't need to cry, Like

942
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:52,360
Speaker 2: even though it's fine to cry, I was like I

943
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:54,319
Speaker 2: had nothing in me. I had nothing to cry out,

944
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:56,839
Speaker 2: Like I was completely fine, you know, And but I

945
00:46:56,880 --> 00:47:00,720
Speaker 2: also almost needed confirmation of like why am I not crying?

946
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:04,319
Speaker 2: Why am I not feeling this like deep sadness. But

947
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:05,480
Speaker 2: you know, I think there was also a bit of

948
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:08,440
Speaker 2: like a maturity that kind of came with my on

949
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:09,279
Speaker 2: my path of that.

950
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:12,440
Speaker 1: So would you say like a failure, whether it be

951
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:15,600
Speaker 1: like a failed relationship or we're talking about the career stuff.

952
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:19,560
Speaker 1: But this thing that has been a key player in

953
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:22,160
Speaker 1: kind of like activating anxiety within you has been a

954
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:23,200
Speaker 1: gift in the big picture.

955
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:26,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely. I think like any sort of like, I

956
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:30,279
Speaker 2: think that there's there is such a nice side to

957
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:32,840
Speaker 2: having some of the anxiety and stuff like that, because

958
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:36,319
Speaker 2: I think that my creativity and you know, kind of

959
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:38,239
Speaker 2: the way that I am and like my heart and

960
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:41,040
Speaker 2: the way that I feel and the way that I

961
00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:43,600
Speaker 2: interact and relate to other people, I think that's it's

962
00:47:43,640 --> 00:47:48,040
Speaker 2: all intertwined into the anxiety part and what I feel.

963
00:47:48,719 --> 00:47:51,080
Speaker 2: I think that the only thing is that you can,

964
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:53,920
Speaker 2: if you work on it and you really want to,

965
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:58,279
Speaker 2: you can manage the anxiety part of it. But I

966
00:47:58,280 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 2: don't think it's ever something that really goes away. I

967
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:03,239
Speaker 2: think it's just innately something that's part of you, like

968
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:06,360
Speaker 2: part of your soul, that will every now and again

969
00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:09,880
Speaker 2: it will bubble over and you would just be like,

970
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 2: fuck this, I just need a break, or you just

971
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:14,319
Speaker 2: have a panic attack, and that's your body being like

972
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:16,799
Speaker 2: you need a bit of a break or just like

973
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:18,640
Speaker 2: stop or walk away from a situation.

974
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:22,680
Speaker 1: At acting school, the teacher calls anxiety like nerves before

975
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:25,320
Speaker 1: an auditional or something. He's like, it is like having

976
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:28,920
Speaker 1: been apprehensive about the unknown. And I know, for me,

977
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:32,359
Speaker 1: all of my like eating stuff, all of my likes

978
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:35,719
Speaker 1: like worry sits around, like but what if what if

979
00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:37,480
Speaker 1: someone expects me to do this? What if I have

980
00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:39,280
Speaker 1: to do this thing? What if it doesn't go right?

981
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:40,840
Speaker 1: What if it doesn't look right? What if I'm not

982
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 1: good enough? But it's all this what ifs of all

983
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:44,200
Speaker 1: this shit that doesn't even happen.

984
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:47,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, none of it happens, like you know, like

985
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:49,960
Speaker 2: I had like a couple of panic attacks and I'm like, fuckink,

986
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 2: I'm gonna die, you know. And but it was literally

987
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:56,799
Speaker 2: because like I just wasn't breathing properly, and like, you know,

988
00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:59,719
Speaker 2: there's also like this misconception of like you know, when

989
00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:02,960
Speaker 2: pep having panic attacks, they're like their chest is like constricting,

990
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:05,839
Speaker 2: And this is what I had to learn. I was like, fuck,

991
00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:08,080
Speaker 2: I can't breathe. I can't breathe, Like why can I

992
00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:10,640
Speaker 2: not breathe? And it's like Matt, you're holding your breath

993
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:14,600
Speaker 2: instead of actually just like breathing out and like slowing down.

994
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:17,360
Speaker 2: But in the moment, you literally think that your lungs

995
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:20,040
Speaker 2: just cannot take airing. And ninety percent of the time

996
00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:24,040
Speaker 2: it's literally like you're just not breathing. You gotta just

997
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:26,440
Speaker 2: breathe out and take slow, deep breaths, you know. So,

998
00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:29,680
Speaker 2: like my anxiety would turn into fear, and then that

999
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:32,319
Speaker 2: like you know, anxiety of the unknown, and then fear

1000
00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 2: of the unknown, and then fear of a panic attack,

1001
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:36,720
Speaker 2: and then you'd have a panic attack, and then suddenly

1002
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 2: your fear isn't like actually about not being able to

1003
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:41,400
Speaker 2: breathe because you're in a panic attack, you know. So

1004
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:44,239
Speaker 2: literally every step of the way leads into each other.

1005
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:46,960
Speaker 2: So you gotta at some point break the cycle of

1006
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 2: having anxiety and actually just get out of your own

1007
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:52,279
Speaker 2: way and be like just fucking try to take a

1008
00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:54,760
Speaker 2: deep breath, or try and meditate or like do something

1009
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 2: like that.

1010
00:49:55,680 --> 00:49:58,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, you've just come up to My favorite word that

1011
00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 1: I really wanted to theme the podcast us this but

1012
00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:06,520
Speaker 1: it's very similar to the concept of talking about failure.

1013
00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:09,279
Speaker 1: But it's number layer and I remember we share this

1014
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:11,360
Speaker 1: word world. I shared it with you when we start dating.

1015
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,360
Speaker 1: So it's an indigenous Australian word and it's a number.

1016
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:18,080
Speaker 1: Layer means to live free of fear, and I think

1017
00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:21,560
Speaker 1: if we can strive to live that way. And on

1018
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:25,520
Speaker 1: that note, what's one like parting message or gift that

1019
00:50:25,680 --> 00:50:28,440
Speaker 1: you if you could give any of the people listening

1020
00:50:28,480 --> 00:50:31,200
Speaker 1: out there, you know, whether it be there a creative

1021
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 1: and have this dream that no one else can see,

1022
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:35,560
Speaker 1: but then or you know, they're in a situation where

1023
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:41,399
Speaker 1: they are feeling a bit lost, what would your advice be, mat.

1024
00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:44,040
Speaker 2: Just ward, Yeah, I don't think they heard that one.

1025
00:50:44,680 --> 00:50:48,880
Speaker 2: I think that's a hard one. There's so much advice

1026
00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:53,759
Speaker 2: I'd want to give. First of all, just start. I

1027
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:56,680
Speaker 2: think that like every single day we put something off

1028
00:50:56,880 --> 00:51:01,479
Speaker 2: that we're afraid of, you know, or we're worried about

1029
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:03,800
Speaker 2: or whatever. You literally just got to start. So whether

1030
00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:07,279
Speaker 2: it is like learning an instrument or trying to like

1031
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:10,040
Speaker 2: write music or like something like that, just start, like,

1032
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:11,680
Speaker 2: get up and do it. You have to do it.

1033
00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 2: If you've never start, you're never gonna actually a finished product.

1034
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:16,799
Speaker 2: The next thing I would the next thing would be

1035
00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:19,839
Speaker 2: like finish it. So like don't start your next thing

1036
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 2: until you actually finish something, so it doesn't matter if

1037
00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:24,640
Speaker 2: you never put the song out or like you know,

1038
00:51:24,719 --> 00:51:27,319
Speaker 2: no one ever hears it. Get into the routine of

1039
00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:32,759
Speaker 2: finishing what you start. A lot of people never will, like,

1040
00:51:32,920 --> 00:51:36,960
Speaker 2: you know, I know so many great like you know, writers, producers, musicians,

1041
00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:39,520
Speaker 2: all that kind of stuff. People that I reckon are

1042
00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:43,960
Speaker 2: like far more talented than I am that literally just

1043
00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:46,799
Speaker 2: don't finish anything because they're onto the next thing or

1044
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:49,520
Speaker 2: it's never good enough or whatever. It's like, it never

1045
00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:52,080
Speaker 2: will be fucking good enough. You never, like, you know,

1046
00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:54,480
Speaker 2: there's like a saying like you never really like finish

1047
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 2: a piece of music. You just abandoned it at some point,

1048
00:51:57,480 --> 00:51:59,000
Speaker 2: you know, and you just got to be okay with

1049
00:51:59,160 --> 00:52:00,799
Speaker 2: letting it go at some point point. And I think

1050
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:03,280
Speaker 2: that's why a lot of people come to me, because

1051
00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:06,480
Speaker 2: I just fucking finish it. I'm just like, it's done.

1052
00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:09,799
Speaker 2: I'm just like, if it feels good, leave it, so

1053
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:12,560
Speaker 2: just yeah, so start and then finish.

1054
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:17,600
Speaker 1: I think I love that. At acting school they said

1055
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:21,440
Speaker 1: strive not to be perfect. Yeah, yeah, I think perfection.

1056
00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:25,240
Speaker 1: They say perfection is the enemy of the creative because

1057
00:52:25,239 --> 00:52:27,080
Speaker 1: you're like, it's not done, It's I remember writing books.

1058
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:30,239
Speaker 1: I wouldn't send manuscripts off and I'd be like obsessing

1059
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:32,719
Speaker 1: over one sentence or thinking that if I give it

1060
00:52:32,800 --> 00:52:35,359
Speaker 1: just another read, I'll find something new. And of course

1061
00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:38,200
Speaker 1: I would find something new. But I think that you

1062
00:52:38,400 --> 00:52:40,440
Speaker 1: put it so beautifully where you just abandon it and

1063
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:43,719
Speaker 1: you let it go, yeah, and let it have a

1064
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:44,600
Speaker 1: life of its own.

1065
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:48,280
Speaker 2: So that's my biggest problem I have with like labels,

1066
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:50,960
Speaker 2: and like not all of them, but you know, like

1067
00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:54,440
Speaker 2: certain marketing and label blah blah whatever. But you know,

1068
00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:56,759
Speaker 2: they always kind of want you to be something you know,

1069
00:52:56,960 --> 00:52:59,600
Speaker 2: or they can only relate to what they know. But

1070
00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:02,920
Speaker 2: just create and let it be what it wants to be.

1071
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:04,520
Speaker 2: Just like let it grow.

1072
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:05,040
Speaker 1: You know.

1073
00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:07,600
Speaker 2: It's like you wouldn't like plan to seed and then

1074
00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:11,480
Speaker 2: like expect it to like be a fucking like mango

1075
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:14,000
Speaker 2: tree instead of a fucking rose bush. You know, I

1076
00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:17,879
Speaker 2: was gonna say dinosaur, yeah, or a dinosaur whatever. It's

1077
00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:19,600
Speaker 2: just like yeah, like like create and let it be.

1078
00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:22,560
Speaker 2: Like but I'm guilty of that where I've overworked things.

1079
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:25,719
Speaker 2: But I've always hated it when I've overworked something. But

1080
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:27,960
Speaker 2: you know, like most people, you know, they they can

1081
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:30,200
Speaker 2: only paint pictures from the colors of the rainbow. But

1082
00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:33,240
Speaker 2: like creatives, it's like we literally will make the colors

1083
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:34,799
Speaker 2: up ourselves, you know.

1084
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:35,640
Speaker 1: Yeah I love that.

1085
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:38,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, So like don't don't let them, don't let other

1086
00:53:38,920 --> 00:53:40,680
Speaker 2: people kind of like dictate what you do.

1087
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:43,920
Speaker 1: And you know, I just love start and finish it.

1088
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:44,520
Speaker 1: I love it.

1089
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:48,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I realize that everyone else has like their own limitations,

1090
00:53:48,160 --> 00:53:51,160
Speaker 2: like you know in music, don't you know, we set

1091
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:54,600
Speaker 2: our own limitations. So set your limitations pretty fucking far

1092
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:55,719
Speaker 2: away from what you can do.

1093
00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:58,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I just love I love I'm going to

1094
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:00,920
Speaker 1: use this just start, yeah, and finish it.

1095
00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:04,160
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think we just starting as well. Like and

1096
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:06,920
Speaker 2: I like definitely am so guilty of this, and sometimes

1097
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:09,680
Speaker 2: I still do it where I'm like, oh, you know,

1098
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:12,520
Speaker 2: I'll start when I can like afford like the new

1099
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:15,560
Speaker 2: plug in or the new guitar or the new piece

1100
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:18,120
Speaker 2: of equipment, or like my music will be good enough,

1101
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:20,960
Speaker 2: you know, when I can afford this, or when I

1102
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:22,920
Speaker 2: can do that, or when I learn that. It's like

1103
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:26,120
Speaker 2: it never it never works. Like the greatest songs are

1104
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:29,560
Speaker 2: written like you know, on a crappy guitar, you know,

1105
00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:32,319
Speaker 2: or like the best records were like produced on like

1106
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:37,319
Speaker 2: stock plugins on a computer program. Like everyone you can

1107
00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:39,919
Speaker 2: make a work of art from literally like nothing.

1108
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 1: Even this podcast today. Matt said, I'm coming over this afternoon.

1109
00:54:43,160 --> 00:54:45,320
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, bos, So, I'm tired.

1110
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:47,440
Speaker 1: You stay home and work. We'll do it another day.

1111
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:50,560
Speaker 1: And you were like, nah, we're doing the podcast and

1112
00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:52,360
Speaker 1: this was just meant to be a practice trial. But

1113
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:55,200
Speaker 1: I'm going to push to release it. Yeah, I'm going

1114
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:59,760
Speaker 1: to push to release it. And I don't know how

1115
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,680
Speaker 1: it works with sponsors and stuff. I'm sure insert ads

1116
00:55:02,680 --> 00:55:05,640
Speaker 1: and top and tailor with a beautiful like you're drawn out.

1117
00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:09,960
Speaker 2: Trying sponsors on this one. Maybe it's just Lola coffee.

1118
00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:14,000
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Lola coffee coffee. Tell us quickly about Lola coffee.

1119
00:55:14,320 --> 00:55:17,399
Speaker 2: Lolla coffee. Well, it kind of came from like all

1120
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:20,759
Speaker 2: of us, so three of us, so wrong? Is your

1121
00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:22,320
Speaker 2: one of your best mates? Yeah? Rob is one of

1122
00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:23,560
Speaker 2: my close friends. He is a bit of a.

1123
00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:29,320
Speaker 1: S gally wag, so nice to be a scala.

1124
00:55:29,080 --> 00:55:32,040
Speaker 2: So nice. He's literally like he's just a business fucking

1125
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:33,319
Speaker 2: that's so kind.

1126
00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:36,000
Speaker 1: I find him so inspiring. We'll be packing the coffee

1127
00:55:36,160 --> 00:55:39,080
Speaker 1: and he'll be literally on phone calls talking about investment.

1128
00:55:39,239 --> 00:55:42,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's got like eight fucking businesses going at the

1129
00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:45,400
Speaker 2: one time, good human everything. Yeah, he's great, but he's

1130
00:55:45,400 --> 00:55:49,080
Speaker 2: always got time, Lola. Coffee is we love coffee. But

1131
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:51,760
Speaker 2: also you introduced me to lines Mane.

1132
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:53,680
Speaker 1: Medicinal mushroom that works on the brain.

1133
00:55:53,800 --> 00:55:56,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know, like even when I started taking it,

1134
00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:58,960
Speaker 2: I was like, shit, this is helpening with like excuse me,

1135
00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:02,480
Speaker 2: like my folks, it's my anxiety and like all those

1136
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:03,080
Speaker 2: kinds of things.

1137
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:04,920
Speaker 1: We call it like the healthy limitless, don't we.

1138
00:56:05,040 --> 00:56:07,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it kind of like started to feel like that,

1139
00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:09,080
Speaker 2: and then started I mixed it with like you know,

1140
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:11,440
Speaker 2: mixing it with coffee and your morning coffee, and I

1141
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:14,000
Speaker 2: was like, God, this is good. And then we literally

1142
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:15,879
Speaker 2: just had lunch. All three of us were like, let's

1143
00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:18,040
Speaker 2: fucking do it. Let's pack it, and let's pack it

1144
00:56:18,080 --> 00:56:18,560
Speaker 2: and seal it.

1145
00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:21,520
Speaker 1: So and we've we've. And the other thing is often

1146
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:24,560
Speaker 1: instant coffee isn't made that well and it doesn't taste great.

1147
00:56:24,719 --> 00:56:25,640
Speaker 1: You call it piss water.

1148
00:56:25,719 --> 00:56:28,960
Speaker 2: Correct, Yeah, it's piss water, and like you know, I

1149
00:56:28,960 --> 00:56:31,040
Speaker 2: don't know, sometimes I feel like it's got other coco

1150
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:31,480
Speaker 2: in it.

1151
00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:35,200
Speaker 1: So totally anti molding agents, anti caking agents. So ours

1152
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:38,200
Speaker 1: is we've got specialty Brazilian and Colombian coffee.

1153
00:56:38,280 --> 00:56:39,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's correct.

1154
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:43,239
Speaker 1: And we've had it dehydrated or freeze dride free drive

1155
00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:47,480
Speaker 1: freeze dried. And the extraction is so low, which means

1156
00:56:47,480 --> 00:56:50,160
Speaker 1: it costs an f bomb to make, whereas if you

1157
00:56:50,239 --> 00:56:53,160
Speaker 1: get like something from the supermarket, say that's like a

1158
00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:56,880
Speaker 1: cheaper brand that we all know, the extraction is very high,

1159
00:56:56,920 --> 00:56:59,200
Speaker 1: which makes a quality not so good and it tastes

1160
00:56:59,239 --> 00:57:00,880
Speaker 1: not so good, whereas this tastes.

1161
00:57:01,239 --> 00:57:05,400
Speaker 2: Yeah. They also don't use specialty grade like coffee. And

1162
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:09,000
Speaker 2: this is especially coffee, you know, just like whatever coffee

1163
00:57:09,040 --> 00:57:10,000
Speaker 2: is the cheapest for them.

1164
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:13,279
Speaker 1: So and then we have been this first round. We

1165
00:57:13,320 --> 00:57:17,040
Speaker 1: have hand mixed in medicinal lines made. That's Billy's tail

1166
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:20,360
Speaker 1: wagging in the background. Matt's obsessed, Philly. I think he's

1167
00:57:20,360 --> 00:57:23,600
Speaker 1: obsessed with you given Oh my god, all I can

1168
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:26,000
Speaker 1: see across the table is this golden retry behead come

1169
00:57:26,080 --> 00:57:28,760
Speaker 1: up on Matt's slack break here. He is very cute.

1170
00:57:28,760 --> 00:57:31,520
Speaker 1: He knows he gets nothing from me, only because I

1171
00:57:31,520 --> 00:57:34,600
Speaker 1: don't like when dogs come around you when you're eating gorgeous.

1172
00:57:35,360 --> 00:57:37,200
Speaker 2: So yeah, we've been working on that. It's nice little

1173
00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:41,440
Speaker 2: like side project as well. That's so much going on.

1174
00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:43,480
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you try to interview me right now,

1175
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:45,320
Speaker 1: back to the outry.

1176
00:57:44,880 --> 00:57:49,600
Speaker 2: You go to do thero You've been though in your

1177
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:53,440
Speaker 2: whole like the last leg since I've known you. I

1178
00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:55,960
Speaker 2: think that maybe like that first like month or two

1179
00:57:56,200 --> 00:58:00,280
Speaker 2: was like the quietest time of your whole Like yeah,

1180
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:03,080
Speaker 2: and then you've just been flat out like traveling and

1181
00:58:03,120 --> 00:58:05,720
Speaker 2: like doing events and speaking and all that kind of stuff.

1182
00:58:06,440 --> 00:58:09,280
Speaker 2: You've traveled far more than I have for this whole year.

1183
00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:11,920
Speaker 1: That's part of my job to travel. I don't know. Again,

1184
00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:16,600
Speaker 1: I'm really shit at taking compliments and believing I even

1185
00:58:16,640 --> 00:58:21,479
Speaker 1: have a success. I don't even like that word that much, but.

1186
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:24,360
Speaker 2: Whatever it is, success, Like I can't really like quantify.

1187
00:58:24,440 --> 00:58:26,800
Speaker 2: It's not like a set amount of money. It's not

1188
00:58:26,840 --> 00:58:32,720
Speaker 2: a set amount of like fucking Aria records like every times. Yeah,

1189
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:35,400
Speaker 2: I can't even like really be happy over like my

1190
00:58:35,520 --> 00:58:36,360
Speaker 2: little successes.

1191
00:58:36,400 --> 00:58:41,480
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's no no, I think. To answer your question

1192
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:45,480
Speaker 1: really quickly, is taking a break from book writing. So

1193
00:58:45,480 --> 00:58:48,040
Speaker 1: we've done ten books, taking a little break from that.

1194
00:58:48,200 --> 00:58:50,760
Speaker 1: A lot of people asking when's the next book. I

1195
00:58:50,800 --> 00:58:52,240
Speaker 1: know what I want to write, I know when I

1196
00:58:52,240 --> 00:58:54,080
Speaker 1: want to write it, and I know that I need

1197
00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:57,439
Speaker 1: the time between, which is where we are now. We're

1198
00:58:57,440 --> 00:59:02,200
Speaker 1: bringing Lola coffee out. I'm loving acting school, like I'm

1199
00:59:02,320 --> 00:59:05,240
Speaker 1: so like not to do with my career or and

1200
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:08,040
Speaker 1: it's it just like lights me up and I get

1201
00:59:08,080 --> 00:59:10,400
Speaker 1: really tired before I go, and I'm like, oh, I'm

1202
00:59:10,440 --> 00:59:17,160
Speaker 1: really tired. I'm nervous, you're grumb yeah, And and I

1203
00:59:17,240 --> 00:59:19,240
Speaker 1: come out at eleven pm. I'm like, that was the

1204
00:59:19,240 --> 00:59:22,840
Speaker 1: best thing ever. I'm drinking the kool aid and I'm

1205
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:23,240
Speaker 1: loving it.

1206
00:59:23,440 --> 00:59:25,320
Speaker 2: Like you know, you never regret, Like that's the thing,

1207
00:59:25,400 --> 00:59:28,200
Speaker 2: like you never regret when you just jump as much

1208
00:59:28,240 --> 00:59:30,120
Speaker 2: as like those fears and all those kind of things,

1209
00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:34,880
Speaker 2: like you really just don't regret why you learn so much.

1210
00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:38,560
Speaker 1: And so I'm loving actings. Going back to your advanced

1211
00:59:38,600 --> 00:59:42,880
Speaker 1: yoga teacher training. Hey hey, hey, are you going to practice?

1212
00:59:42,960 --> 00:59:45,640
Speaker 1: Am I get to be my guinea peag? And then

1213
00:59:46,120 --> 00:59:46,959
Speaker 1: what else am I doing?

1214
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:47,360
Speaker 2: Boss?

1215
00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:51,640
Speaker 1: I do have travel coming up, so I do want

1216
00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:54,520
Speaker 1: to speaking gigs and stuff like that. But I just

1217
00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:59,960
Speaker 1: kind of roll with it at the moment because I think.

1218
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:02,680
Speaker 1: I think I'm really excited to see how the how

1219
01:00:02,720 --> 01:00:04,880
Speaker 1: the coffee, the coffee comes to life, which could well

1220
01:00:04,920 --> 01:00:07,280
Speaker 1: be sold out by the time this podcast comes to life,

1221
01:00:07,320 --> 01:00:09,720
Speaker 1: so hopefully we'll be in and hope so hopefully we'll

1222
01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:13,280
Speaker 1: be in round two of bringing it out because it

1223
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:17,200
Speaker 1: is a freaking delicious like coffee, and it's medicinal and

1224
01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:20,400
Speaker 1: it tastes good and it's healthy and it's there is

1225
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:23,960
Speaker 1: so much integrity to this brand. It's freaking cool.

1226
01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:25,760
Speaker 2: I thought this was meant to be about me, not

1227
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:26,520
Speaker 2: about coffee.

1228
01:00:26,600 --> 01:00:30,080
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, okay, you asked me. You asked me about me.

1229
01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:32,600
Speaker 1: Thank you, and thank you so much for being a

1230
01:00:32,640 --> 01:00:36,160
Speaker 1: guinea pig and being on here today. The only theme

1231
01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:38,280
Speaker 1: that we had, the only kind of like planning we had,

1232
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:40,120
Speaker 1: was that it would be about failure, because I'm so

1233
01:00:40,280 --> 01:00:44,240
Speaker 1: fascinated by failure, because I think we spend too much

1234
01:00:44,280 --> 01:00:48,479
Speaker 1: time celebrating fake success absolutely, which is a crock of shit,

1235
01:00:49,840 --> 01:00:52,840
Speaker 1: and I think that the failure is this. It's like,

1236
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:56,640
Speaker 1: this is another thing I learned rack It's called dare

1237
01:00:56,640 --> 01:01:00,760
Speaker 1: to fail, like be messy, mess it up, muck it up.

1238
01:01:00,880 --> 01:01:04,440
Speaker 1: That's where you cares. No everyone's so caught up in

1239
01:01:04,480 --> 01:01:07,800
Speaker 1: their own world anyway. And I had tort yoga classes afternoon.

1240
01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:09,280
Speaker 1: I said, like, who cares if you can get into

1241
01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:12,120
Speaker 1: a pretzel shape or not give it a shot fall

1242
01:01:12,160 --> 01:01:15,280
Speaker 1: out of the pose, like you'll catch yourself. And I

1243
01:01:15,720 --> 01:01:17,880
Speaker 1: tell people this in yoga, and a lot of people

1244
01:01:18,640 --> 01:01:20,520
Speaker 1: I don't. I didn't like hearing it the first time

1245
01:01:20,520 --> 01:01:22,160
Speaker 1: I heard it. But the way we show up on

1246
01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:24,040
Speaker 1: our mat is often a reflection of the way we

1247
01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:27,280
Speaker 1: are outside. And it's like, if you're not giving your

1248
01:01:27,320 --> 01:01:28,880
Speaker 1: best in the pose or giving it a red hot

1249
01:01:28,920 --> 01:01:32,080
Speaker 1: crack and you're kind of just going medium, you're probably

1250
01:01:32,080 --> 01:01:35,280
Speaker 1: only going medium out there, why not give it a shot? Fail,

1251
01:01:35,440 --> 01:01:38,400
Speaker 1: get back up? Like the reality is you'll probably catch

1252
01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:42,600
Speaker 1: yourself if you're fall So yeah, that's why your two

1253
01:01:42,680 --> 01:01:47,280
Speaker 1: points I love. Just start, just finish something back yourself.

1254
01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:50,000
Speaker 1: I'm just like, yeah, dare to fail.

1255
01:01:50,080 --> 01:01:52,400
Speaker 2: I think as well. Like I think, I was definitely

1256
01:01:52,480 --> 01:01:55,120
Speaker 2: like a lot worried about, you know, people judging me

1257
01:01:55,160 --> 01:01:58,320
Speaker 2: if I failed, so then I wouldn't start something because

1258
01:01:58,840 --> 01:02:02,200
Speaker 2: people would judge me for but literally, no one actually

1259
01:02:02,240 --> 01:02:04,920
Speaker 2: gives a flying fuck if you fail. Everyone just forgets

1260
01:02:04,920 --> 01:02:07,200
Speaker 2: about it. Like even if you put music out or

1261
01:02:07,200 --> 01:02:09,360
Speaker 2: a product or whatever. It is, just just fucking do

1262
01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:12,480
Speaker 2: it because that one thing might set you apart from

1263
01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:14,440
Speaker 2: everyone else. It might make you million dollars. It might

1264
01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:17,160
Speaker 2: make you successful, like even Rob. Like Rob is one

1265
01:02:17,200 --> 01:02:21,040
Speaker 2: of our partners, but like as successful as Robbies, he's

1266
01:02:21,080 --> 01:02:22,240
Speaker 2: had as many failures.

1267
01:02:22,640 --> 01:02:25,200
Speaker 1: Oh and Boss, the whole reason why this is about

1268
01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:28,240
Speaker 1: failure is because I've had more fails than successes, and

1269
01:02:28,280 --> 01:02:31,720
Speaker 1: I love them all because they need one success. No,

1270
01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:33,640
Speaker 1: but it's not. I'm not worried about getting you and

1271
01:02:33,640 --> 01:02:35,720
Speaker 1: I a bit different with career wise. You're like, I'll

1272
01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:37,800
Speaker 1: throw enough shit at the wall and something's going to stick,

1273
01:02:37,840 --> 01:02:40,760
Speaker 1: Whereas I'm like, give me the failure. I want it,

1274
01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:43,280
Speaker 1: like I'm actually looking for a fucking up because I

1275
01:02:43,360 --> 01:02:46,720
Speaker 1: know that I can learn from that and go, oh

1276
01:02:46,760 --> 01:02:49,000
Speaker 1: my god, I stuffed up that thing. But I just

1277
01:02:49,120 --> 01:02:53,000
Speaker 1: learned like that, like I remember, and I won't delve

1278
01:02:53,040 --> 01:02:54,480
Speaker 1: too much in this. But I brought out a diet

1279
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:58,120
Speaker 1: plan with early controversial name. It was about myself and

1280
01:02:58,320 --> 01:03:01,240
Speaker 1: I just binged and my business part of the time said,

1281
01:03:01,240 --> 01:03:03,000
Speaker 1: what are we going to call this diet plan? And

1282
01:03:03,040 --> 01:03:04,440
Speaker 1: I said, I'd love to call it stop being a

1283
01:03:04,480 --> 01:03:06,040
Speaker 1: fat bitch, because that's how I feel right now. And

1284
01:03:06,040 --> 01:03:07,480
Speaker 1: it's like, we need to shine a light on the

1285
01:03:07,480 --> 01:03:10,040
Speaker 1: way women speak themselves, which is why it became that.

1286
01:03:10,200 --> 01:03:12,600
Speaker 1: And it had a subtitle it changed your internal dialogue,

1287
01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:15,840
Speaker 1: change your life, And nobody saw the subtitle, and everybody

1288
01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:20,720
Speaker 1: was like hating on me. Well not like I'm glad

1289
01:03:20,720 --> 01:03:23,160
Speaker 1: that it was that. I wouldn't change it. I would

1290
01:03:23,240 --> 01:03:25,520
Speaker 1: change hurning people because I know people got hurt by it.

1291
01:03:25,600 --> 01:03:29,000
Speaker 1: But I loved it because it taught me that even

1292
01:03:29,040 --> 01:03:32,280
Speaker 1: the people that is seemingly my community, my tribe, whatever

1293
01:03:32,280 --> 01:03:33,880
Speaker 1: you want to call it, all the people that follow

1294
01:03:33,960 --> 01:03:37,680
Speaker 1: me my tribe, I know, I know I never to

1295
01:03:37,720 --> 01:03:41,320
Speaker 1: use it, but no one had my back, yea, like

1296
01:03:41,480 --> 01:03:44,959
Speaker 1: no one had my back, and other health influencers used

1297
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:48,000
Speaker 1: it to put me down and put bolts themselves up.

1298
01:03:48,600 --> 01:03:50,880
Speaker 1: And it was a big awakening to know that no

1299
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:53,200
Speaker 1: one really has your back, not too many people do,

1300
01:03:53,360 --> 01:03:56,880
Speaker 1: and especially not in the social media, the media, or

1301
01:03:56,920 --> 01:04:00,480
Speaker 1: the Instagram world, and so the whole re and why

1302
01:04:00,520 --> 01:04:02,720
Speaker 1: I love that experience so much, and I would say

1303
01:04:02,720 --> 01:04:05,520
Speaker 1: it would be one of the turning points of my

1304
01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:10,760
Speaker 1: career because I stopped relying on other people's validation of myself.

1305
01:04:11,520 --> 01:04:14,640
Speaker 1: So that's why this podcast exists, because failure is so

1306
01:04:14,720 --> 01:04:16,840
Speaker 1: important and it is something to be celebrated.

1307
01:04:16,920 --> 01:04:19,000
Speaker 2: I love it. I can't wait to listen to more episodes.

1308
01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:22,320
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining Matt So folks, you will do links

1309
01:04:22,320 --> 01:04:26,160
Speaker 1: to your Spotify and your SoundCloud, is that right?

1310
01:04:26,320 --> 01:04:26,600
Speaker 2: Yes?

1311
01:04:27,080 --> 01:04:30,160
Speaker 1: And we can listen to your new music and Pony

1312
01:04:30,360 --> 01:04:33,320
Speaker 1: and all your amazing stuff. I'm sure you have more

1313
01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:34,439
Speaker 1: Wildfire rapt by now.

1314
01:04:34,480 --> 01:04:37,000
Speaker 2: Thank you, love you, love you.

1315
01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:42,160
Speaker 1: I'm making them so uncomfortable. I love it. Bye Bossy

1316
01:04:42,600 --> 01:04:49,080
Speaker 1: Bye