WEBVTT - My Favourite Tip: Matthew Dicks - The most critical ingredient of a great story

0:00:00.760 --> 0:00:04.240
<v Speaker 1>I think that we can all agree that storytelling done

0:00:04.320 --> 0:00:08.880
<v Speaker 1>well is incredibly powerful. And it's easy to think that

0:00:08.960 --> 0:00:12.440
<v Speaker 1>a story is a mere recap of an event, right,

0:00:13.520 --> 0:00:17.840
<v Speaker 1>But according to Matthew Dix, a great story, one that

0:00:17.960 --> 0:00:23.360
<v Speaker 1>moves people and ultimately changes us, is anything but a recap.

0:00:24.480 --> 0:00:28.200
<v Speaker 1>Matthew Dix is a world renowned and award winning storyteller

0:00:28.400 --> 0:00:32.560
<v Speaker 1>and the best selling author of story Worthy Luckily for Us.

0:00:32.600 --> 0:00:36.239
<v Speaker 1>He has spent many years researching the art and science

0:00:36.280 --> 0:00:40.279
<v Speaker 1>of how to tell a great story. So what is

0:00:40.360 --> 0:00:44.400
<v Speaker 1>the most critical ingredient of a great story? And how

0:00:44.440 --> 0:00:48.640
<v Speaker 1>do you know if a particular story is actually worth telling.

0:00:53.440 --> 0:00:57.240
<v Speaker 1>My name is doctor amanthey Iver. I'm an organizational psychologist

0:00:57.280 --> 0:01:00.960
<v Speaker 1>and the founder of Behavioral Science consultancy Invents. And this

0:01:01.240 --> 0:01:04.200
<v Speaker 1>is how I work a show about how to help

0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:08.600
<v Speaker 1>you do your best work. On today's My Favorite Tip episode,

0:01:08.760 --> 0:01:10.959
<v Speaker 1>we go back to an interview from the past and

0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:13.720
<v Speaker 1>I pick out my favorite tip from the interview. In

0:01:13.720 --> 0:01:16.800
<v Speaker 1>today's show, I speak with Matthew Dix about how we

0:01:16.880 --> 0:01:20.800
<v Speaker 1>can all get better at storytelling. When someone is sharing

0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:24.960
<v Speaker 1>a story with you and you're identifying all these different

0:01:26.000 --> 0:01:30.160
<v Speaker 1>opportunities for that story, what's the process that's going through

0:01:30.200 --> 0:01:33.440
<v Speaker 1>your brain when you're kind of analyzing the story content

0:01:33.560 --> 0:01:38.720
<v Speaker 1>and thinking about its different opportunities for being applied.

0:01:39.560 --> 0:01:43.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm always asking myself what are they saying beyond the content, Like,

0:01:43.959 --> 0:01:47.400
<v Speaker 2>what's the you know, what is the overarching if we

0:01:47.440 --> 0:01:49.960
<v Speaker 2>remove all the content away, what were they really trying

0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:52.080
<v Speaker 2>to say? You know, fundamentally, a story tends to be

0:01:52.160 --> 0:01:55.240
<v Speaker 2>about change over time, So what is the change over

0:01:55.320 --> 0:01:58.640
<v Speaker 2>time that they're trying to describe? You know, there's a

0:01:58.680 --> 0:02:00.560
<v Speaker 2>story I tell to my kids all the time that

0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:04.360
<v Speaker 2>I recently sort of explained this well, when I was

0:02:04.400 --> 0:02:09.120
<v Speaker 2>in kindergarten, a boy named John Fox disappeared during indoor recess.

0:02:09.480 --> 0:02:12.000
<v Speaker 2>Like the recess ended, everyone came back to their seats

0:02:12.040 --> 0:02:14.200
<v Speaker 2>and John was not in his seat, and you know,

0:02:14.200 --> 0:02:16.160
<v Speaker 2>the teacher was like, well, maybe he's in the other classroom,

0:02:16.200 --> 0:02:17.320
<v Speaker 2>the other kindergarten classroom.

0:02:17.320 --> 0:02:20.640
<v Speaker 3>So she went next door. Missus Dubac could not find John. There.

0:02:20.960 --> 0:02:22.360
<v Speaker 3>She called the principal.

0:02:22.400 --> 0:02:24.079
<v Speaker 2>Back then when you had to like press a button

0:02:24.080 --> 0:02:26.880
<v Speaker 2>and talk on an intercom, so everyone heard the conversation. So,

0:02:27.320 --> 0:02:29.720
<v Speaker 2>you know, I heard her going, mister Hartnett, we can't

0:02:29.720 --> 0:02:31.760
<v Speaker 2>see him. To find John Fox, maybe you could make

0:02:31.800 --> 0:02:34.920
<v Speaker 2>an announcement. They made an announcement in a school. I

0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:38.400
<v Speaker 2>could see the level of stress rising as they couldn't

0:02:38.400 --> 0:02:40.640
<v Speaker 2>find this boy. I saw the custodian outside sort of

0:02:40.639 --> 0:02:43.960
<v Speaker 2>wandering around the playground looking for him. And then we

0:02:44.040 --> 0:02:46.880
<v Speaker 2>heard a scream, and it was a girl named Kim

0:02:47.040 --> 0:02:50.440
<v Speaker 2>who had opened the bathroom door to the girl's bathroom

0:02:50.800 --> 0:02:53.480
<v Speaker 2>and found John Fox in the girl's bathroom. What he

0:02:53.520 --> 0:02:55.400
<v Speaker 2>had done is he had gone into the girl's bathroom

0:02:55.440 --> 0:02:58.280
<v Speaker 2>by accident, realized he was in the girl's bathroom and

0:02:58.320 --> 0:03:01.320
<v Speaker 2>could not get himself out because he felt foolish and

0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:02.799
<v Speaker 2>he was afraid he was gonna get in trouble. So

0:03:02.840 --> 0:03:05.480
<v Speaker 2>even though he could hear himself being called on the intercom,

0:03:05.480 --> 0:03:07.200
<v Speaker 2>he couldn't get out of the bathroom. So I tell

0:03:07.240 --> 0:03:10.320
<v Speaker 2>that story to a bunch of teachers recently, and then

0:03:10.360 --> 0:03:15.480
<v Speaker 2>I say to them, when children and especially boys get

0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:19.640
<v Speaker 2>angry and they shouted us, or they slam something, or

0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:21.680
<v Speaker 2>they put their head down or they charge out of

0:03:21.720 --> 0:03:24.239
<v Speaker 2>a room, what they've really done is put themselves in

0:03:24.760 --> 0:03:27.280
<v Speaker 2>the bathroom. They've put themselves in the bathroom, and they

0:03:27.400 --> 0:03:29.960
<v Speaker 2>trapped themselves there because to get out of it. They

0:03:30.000 --> 0:03:31.920
<v Speaker 2>can't walk back in and say sorry, because that's a

0:03:31.919 --> 0:03:33.799
<v Speaker 2>threat to their ego and they're just not old enough

0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:34.480
<v Speaker 2>to deal with that.

0:03:34.880 --> 0:03:36.560
<v Speaker 3>And we can't win a power struggle with him.

0:03:36.600 --> 0:03:38.680
<v Speaker 2>We can't say, like, pick your head up, you're gonna

0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:40.040
<v Speaker 2>pick your head up, and you're gonna listen to me

0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:40.400
<v Speaker 2>right now.

0:03:40.440 --> 0:03:41.360
<v Speaker 3>You're never gonna win.

0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:44.280
<v Speaker 2>So as teachers, we have to find ways to get

0:03:44.400 --> 0:03:46.680
<v Speaker 2>kids out of the bathroom after they put themselves in.

0:03:47.080 --> 0:03:49.320
<v Speaker 2>So I just recently had this boy. He got mad

0:03:49.360 --> 0:03:52.120
<v Speaker 2>at me. I said, close your laptop. He threw his

0:03:52.160 --> 0:03:54.640
<v Speaker 2>headphones down. He slammed his computer and he put his

0:03:54.720 --> 0:03:57.400
<v Speaker 2>head down, and I knew he was now stuck in

0:03:57.400 --> 0:03:59.600
<v Speaker 2>the bathroom, just like John Fox. And so I gave

0:03:59.680 --> 0:04:01.440
<v Speaker 2>him a lot little bit of time, and then I

0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:03.880
<v Speaker 2>walked over to him and I said, listen, I know

0:04:03.960 --> 0:04:06.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm really boring and I'm putting you asleep, but I

0:04:06.280 --> 0:04:07.880
<v Speaker 2>need you to pick up your head eventually, because you

0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:10.400
<v Speaker 2>can't sleep in class. And then he looked up and

0:04:10.400 --> 0:04:12.520
<v Speaker 2>he smiled and he said, you are boring. And I

0:04:12.680 --> 0:04:14.800
<v Speaker 2>was asleep, and I said, I know, but I need

0:04:14.840 --> 0:04:16.719
<v Speaker 2>you to be awake now. And I walked on I

0:04:16.720 --> 0:04:19.000
<v Speaker 2>got him out of the bathroom, right So that is

0:04:19.000 --> 0:04:21.360
<v Speaker 2>a story now where teachers use that phrase, they say, oh,

0:04:21.360 --> 0:04:22.800
<v Speaker 2>I got well, I got a kid in the bathroom

0:04:22.839 --> 0:04:24.000
<v Speaker 2>right now, I got to figure out way to get

0:04:24.040 --> 0:04:26.760
<v Speaker 2>him out of the bathroom. As I'm telling the John

0:04:26.800 --> 0:04:29.920
<v Speaker 2>Fox story, though, they have no idea what I'm talking about, right. So,

0:04:29.960 --> 0:04:31.520
<v Speaker 2>what I'm always thinking about at the end of a

0:04:31.520 --> 0:04:34.119
<v Speaker 2>story is what was I really saying In the John

0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:37.400
<v Speaker 2>Fox story? I am saying we get stuck in places

0:04:37.440 --> 0:04:40.280
<v Speaker 2>sometimes and we need help getting out right. So strip

0:04:40.320 --> 0:04:42.560
<v Speaker 2>away all the content and ask yourself what is the

0:04:42.600 --> 0:04:46.240
<v Speaker 2>story really about? And oftentimes once we strip the content away,

0:04:46.279 --> 0:04:49.880
<v Speaker 2>we can say it in a clear sort of feeling

0:04:50.160 --> 0:04:53.840
<v Speaker 2>or meaningful or insightful or realization kind of way. And

0:04:53.880 --> 0:04:55.960
<v Speaker 2>that's how those stories can be powerful for us.

0:04:56.880 --> 0:05:00.159
<v Speaker 1>Let's now break that down. What is your process for

0:05:00.279 --> 0:05:03.040
<v Speaker 1>crafting a story like the one that you just told.

0:05:03.360 --> 0:05:08.039
<v Speaker 1>Maybe let's start by firstly, how do you even know

0:05:08.400 --> 0:05:10.520
<v Speaker 1>if it's a story worth telling? If it's one of

0:05:10.560 --> 0:05:11.840
<v Speaker 1>those ten percents?

0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:17.040
<v Speaker 2>Well, a story in the end is about change over time.

0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:20.200
<v Speaker 2>The problem people have is they think that stories are

0:05:20.320 --> 0:05:23.840
<v Speaker 2>reports on their life. You know, in the worst version

0:05:23.880 --> 0:05:25.840
<v Speaker 2>of a story. Someone's going to tell you what happened

0:05:25.880 --> 0:05:28.359
<v Speaker 2>to them, but they're just going to be reporting on

0:05:28.400 --> 0:05:32.680
<v Speaker 2>the events chronologically rather than sort of crafting any meaning.

0:05:33.320 --> 0:05:36.320
<v Speaker 2>So when I'm looking at that ten percent, what I'm

0:05:36.320 --> 0:05:38.719
<v Speaker 2>looking for is moments in my life where I've fundamentally

0:05:38.800 --> 0:05:41.240
<v Speaker 2>changed in some way. You know, those changes are either

0:05:41.279 --> 0:05:43.839
<v Speaker 2>transformational meaning I used to be one kind of person

0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:47.600
<v Speaker 2>and now I'm another, or more often realizations. I used

0:05:47.600 --> 0:05:50.120
<v Speaker 2>to think something about myself or the world, or my

0:05:50.160 --> 0:05:53.039
<v Speaker 2>wife or kids, or the planet, and then some stuff

0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:54.800
<v Speaker 2>happened and now I think differently. And you don't have

0:05:54.839 --> 0:05:57.360
<v Speaker 2>to think very differently. It can be a very small change.

0:05:57.400 --> 0:06:00.960
<v Speaker 2>Small changes are beautiful. People believe in small chain and

0:06:01.040 --> 0:06:03.640
<v Speaker 2>so that's what a story is. So when I'm looking

0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:05.240
<v Speaker 2>for a story to tell, I'm always starting at the

0:06:05.320 --> 0:06:09.200
<v Speaker 2>end because I'm looking for these moments where we suddenly shift,

0:06:09.240 --> 0:06:12.200
<v Speaker 2>where we feel our heart or our mind open, the

0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:14.359
<v Speaker 2>hair on the back of your neck stands up. You

0:06:14.480 --> 0:06:18.200
<v Speaker 2>just get that feeling of wow, I think differently than

0:06:18.240 --> 0:06:21.000
<v Speaker 2>I did a moment ago. Those are the stories that

0:06:21.080 --> 0:06:22.680
<v Speaker 2>mean something to people. And all you have to do

0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:26.880
<v Speaker 2>is watch a movie, watch a television show, go to

0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:29.520
<v Speaker 2>a play. All the great stories of the world, all

0:06:29.560 --> 0:06:32.239
<v Speaker 2>the stories really of the world, are about change over.

0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:33.679
<v Speaker 3>Time, even the stupid movies.

0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:37.120
<v Speaker 2>Ultimately we're starting with a character who has some flaw

0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:41.160
<v Speaker 2>or some need or some problem, and by the end

0:06:41.279 --> 0:06:43.840
<v Speaker 2>that flaw and need or problem will be solved to

0:06:43.880 --> 0:06:46.719
<v Speaker 2>some degree. Maybe not all the way, but you can

0:06:46.800 --> 0:06:48.960
<v Speaker 2>watch a movie or read a book and within the

0:06:49.000 --> 0:06:51.839
<v Speaker 2>first fifteen minutes you can tell what the end is

0:06:51.880 --> 0:06:54.480
<v Speaker 2>going to be, not with specificity, but you can look

0:06:54.520 --> 0:06:57.120
<v Speaker 2>at it and go, oh, this is a guy. He's

0:06:57.200 --> 0:06:59.440
<v Speaker 2>divorced and he's not getting along with his kids, and

0:06:59.480 --> 0:07:01.960
<v Speaker 2>he hasn't figured that relationship out yet, and at the

0:07:02.040 --> 0:07:04.720
<v Speaker 2>end of the movie he's going to have that relationship

0:07:04.760 --> 0:07:05.920
<v Speaker 2>a little more figured out.

0:07:06.040 --> 0:07:08.440
<v Speaker 3>Right, We just know it's it's.

0:07:08.400 --> 0:07:11.440
<v Speaker 2>Very it's instantaneous if we really put some thought into it.

0:07:11.480 --> 0:07:13.240
<v Speaker 2>But oftentimes we're lost in the story, which is a

0:07:13.240 --> 0:07:14.000
<v Speaker 2>beautiful thing too.

0:07:15.080 --> 0:07:18.440
<v Speaker 1>If you enjoyed this extract of my chat with Matthew,

0:07:18.920 --> 0:07:20.320
<v Speaker 1>you might want to go back and listen to the

0:07:20.360 --> 0:07:23.200
<v Speaker 1>whole interview, which you can find a link to in

0:07:23.240 --> 0:07:26.440
<v Speaker 1>the show notes. If you're looking for more tips to

0:07:26.480 --> 0:07:29.400
<v Speaker 1>improve the way that you work. I write a short,

0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:33.160
<v Speaker 1>fortnightly newsletter that contains three cool things that I've discovered

0:07:33.160 --> 0:07:37.200
<v Speaker 1>that helped me work better, ranging from software and gadgets

0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:40.360
<v Speaker 1>that I'm loving through to interesting research findings. You can

0:07:40.400 --> 0:07:43.680
<v Speaker 1>sign up for that at Howiwork dot com. That's how

0:07:43.720 --> 0:07:47.240
<v Speaker 1>I Work dot co. Thank you for sharing part of

0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:49.760
<v Speaker 1>your day with me by listening to How I Work.

0:07:50.200 --> 0:07:52.679
<v Speaker 1>If you're keen for more tips on how to work better,

0:07:52.920 --> 0:07:56.840
<v Speaker 1>connect with me via LinkedIn or Instagram. I'm very easy

0:07:56.880 --> 0:08:01.440
<v Speaker 1>to find. Just search for Amantha Imba. How I Work

0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:05.040
<v Speaker 1>was recorded on the traditional land of the Warrangeri people,

0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:08.240
<v Speaker 1>part of the Koln Nation. I am so grateful for

0:08:08.320 --> 0:08:11.040
<v Speaker 1>being able to work and live on this beautiful land,

0:08:11.120 --> 0:08:13.960
<v Speaker 1>and I want to pay my respects to elders, past,

0:08:14.000 --> 0:08:18.120
<v Speaker 1>present and emerging. How I Work is produced by Inventium

0:08:18.160 --> 0:08:21.120
<v Speaker 1>with production support from Dead Set Studios, and thank you

0:08:21.160 --> 0:08:23.440
<v Speaker 1>to Martin Nimba who did the audio mix and makes

0:08:23.480 --> 0:08:26.040
<v Speaker 1>everything sound better than it would have otherwise.