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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just once answers. Now.

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Speaker 2: I think that as parents we get so caught up

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Speaker 2: in the seriousness of it all, especially during pandemic lockdown stuff,

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Speaker 2: and if we can just lighten things up with a

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Speaker 2: bit of humor, oh my goodness, it can make a

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Speaker 2: big difference.

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Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum

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Speaker 1: and Dad.

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Speaker 2: Well, Friday's roll around way too fast. Although I guess

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Speaker 2: if you're living in lockdown New South Wales act that

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Speaker 2: state of Victoria and New Zealand, it's just another day, right.

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Speaker 2: But for the rest of the nation and for the

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Speaker 2: rest of the world, Friday has arrived. The weekend is

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Speaker 2: almost here. And you know what, even if you're in lockdown,

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Speaker 2: the weekend is still different. Like you don't have to

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Speaker 2: do home learning on the weekend. We've got one day

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Speaker 2: to go. We're almost there, which means that we're one

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Speaker 2: day closer to the end of lockdown as well.

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Speaker 3: You get so excited all the time and you haven't

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Speaker 3: even told everyone who we are.

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Speaker 2: You know who we are. Everyone knows who everyone knows

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Speaker 2: who we are. I can't believe that I just said

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Speaker 2: that in Gosh. So there's a So you're Justin, I'm Kylie.

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Speaker 4: We have a six kids.

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Speaker 2: My parents know who we are, and the five hundred

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Speaker 2: people who have left five star ratings and reviews on

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Speaker 2: our podcast know who we are. Yeah, Justin and Kylie,

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Speaker 2: the Colson's six kids. What else? Happy families dot com

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Speaker 2: dot you let's talk about family life as we rate.

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Speaker 3: You're a bit befuddled after the wake up we got

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Speaker 3: last night.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so last night, you've got it. I can't tell.

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Speaker 2: I'll set it up, but you've got to tell the story.

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Speaker 2: I just don't feel like it's appropriate that I tell

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Speaker 2: this story. I can't believe. Have you checked with our

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Speaker 2: daughter that we're going to tell the story?

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Speaker 4: You can't say that, because no, I haven't. All right?

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Speaker 2: Sorry, So last night we are laying in bed like

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Speaker 2: because I get up so early. It's like, what eight

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Speaker 2: forty five, and I'm so close to sleep, and there's

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Speaker 2: a knock on the door from one of our daughters

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Speaker 2: who we won't name any names.

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Speaker 3: She's raised home from work and she's in a panic stage.

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Speaker 2: She's come home from work. Now everyone's going to know

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Speaker 2: who it is. Gosh, anyway, so she's in a panic

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Speaker 2: state and she's woken as both up or woken me up.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if you were awake or not, but

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Speaker 2: I'm kind of like in La La land.

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Speaker 4: She's like, mom, Mom, she said, I think I have

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Speaker 4: breast cancer.

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Speaker 2: Now, now we want to be really clear. We understand

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Speaker 2: that breast cancer is not a laughing matter, but we're

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Speaker 2: talking about a kid who's still in her teens, and

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Speaker 2: she's she's just absolutely terrified. I think I have breast

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Speaker 2: Can I think I have breast cancer? And she says

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Speaker 2: it like four or five times. I'm sure I've got.

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Speaker 4: I've got a lump. Can you feel it? So, and

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Speaker 4: I've kind of opened my eyes. I'm really groggy, and

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Speaker 4: I've looked at her. Gun just go to bed, It's okay.

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Speaker 4: She's like, no, no, no, you have to feel it. She said,

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Speaker 4: I found a lump. She was really really pound action.

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Speaker 4: So I gently tried to do an examination. She's like, no, no,

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Speaker 4: you have to hold it hard.

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'm just going to keep my eyes

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Speaker 2: closed facing the wall. I'm not even going to look.

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Speaker 4: Her whole breast is a lump.

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Speaker 2: She was. She was fully closed, I meaning there was

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Speaker 2: nothing inappropriate or weird going on, except the fact that

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Speaker 2: we've got this early to mid teenage girl who's convinced

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Speaker 2: she's got breast cancer because she's got a lump in

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Speaker 2: her because her.

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Speaker 4: Breast is a lump. That's what it was. Her entire

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Speaker 4: breast is a lump.

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Speaker 2: Because she's a teenager. She's just a young kid.

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Speaker 4: And what happened?

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Speaker 2: And I think I got it.

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Speaker 3: I told her, I said, I said, you are completely normal,

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Speaker 3: everything's intact.

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Speaker 4: And she went really and I said yes, and biggest

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Speaker 4: smile on her face and she skipped out of the

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Speaker 4: bed room. Thanks mum.

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Speaker 2: That was that have saved my life. Anyway, this week

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Speaker 2: has been there's been a big week on the podcast

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Speaker 2: as well as in our bedroom. It's always an adventure,

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Speaker 2: isn't it. With kids? You never know what's you never

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Speaker 2: know what's going to happen next. This week on the podcast,

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Speaker 2: we've been talking about the challenges of dealing with lockdown.

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Speaker 2: Our daughters aren't even in lockdown and we're getting these

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Speaker 2: kinds of episodes. Can you imagine what they'd be like

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Speaker 2: if we're going through our tenth lockdown? Like Victoria.

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Speaker 4: Oh, I'm telling you, there would be so much material.

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Speaker 2: Our kids have our kids have learned that everything, everything

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Speaker 2: is material for the podcast. So on Monday, we had

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Speaker 2: a very important conversation about the lack of mental health

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Speaker 2: help that's available, and we spent some time talking about

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Speaker 2: different things that parents can do to boost well being

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Speaker 2: when well being is really suffering as a result of

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Speaker 2: the fact that oh gosh, you can't get into doctors

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Speaker 2: and sorry, you can get into doctors, but you can't

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Speaker 2: get into psychologists very easily and to get good psychological help.

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Speaker 2: And we just want to emphasize again if you need help,

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Speaker 2: go get it. But if you don't, having listened to

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Speaker 2: Monday's podcast, it will help you to just get clear

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Speaker 2: on the basic stuff that you need to practice. And

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Speaker 2: of course there's things like Kids' Help Line, parent Line

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Speaker 2: Lifeline that can be useful.

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Speaker 3: I think the reality is so often we start to

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Speaker 3: feel ourselves spiral what we don't take the steps to

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Speaker 3: help keep ourselves afloat. Yeah, and with the time lag

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Speaker 3: and being able to get into specialists, it can be

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Speaker 3: more important than ever that we take those productive steps

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Speaker 3: to help ourselves.

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Speaker 2: Just got to create the habit and stick with the

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Speaker 2: habit and lockdown, it seems like it's really interesting. In

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Speaker 2: some ways, lockdown it's harder to create the habit and

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Speaker 2: stick with it, and yet in other ways, it should

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Speaker 2: be easier during lockdown than any other time because you

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Speaker 2: know where you're going to be and what you're going

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Speaker 2: to be doing every single day, which is I'm going

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Speaker 2: to be at home.

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Speaker 4: I don't even have to get out of my pajamas.

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Speaker 2: That's a big thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, But we hope

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Speaker 2: that was useful.

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Speaker 1: Now.

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Speaker 3: On Tuesday, we tried to answer Carol's question, Oh, come on,

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Speaker 3: we did an amazing you did.

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Speaker 2: You did a great job. I've got I've still got

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Speaker 2: my list in front of me of all the things

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Speaker 2: we were going to talk about, I scratched them out. Well,

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Speaker 2: I've unscratched it because I needed the piece of paper

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Speaker 2: for everything else. You did a great job answering that question,

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Speaker 2: so much for me being the expert.

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Speaker 3: We talked about sibling rivalry and how we can manage that,

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Speaker 3: especially during COVID, But.

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Speaker 2: You don't have to be in a lockdown to be

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Speaker 2: dealing with sibling rivalry. And I think that the stuff

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Speaker 2: we talked about was really really valuable. So if sibling

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Speaker 2: rivalry is a challenge. We just want to point you

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Speaker 2: to that.

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Speaker 3: And then on Wednesday we spoke with Professor Lee Waters.

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Speaker 2: Lee has written a very influential recent scientific paper about

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Speaker 2: all the different scientifically and epirically validated ways that we

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Speaker 2: can keep our well being up, especially during stressful times

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Speaker 2: like a global pandemic. And that was a really, really

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Speaker 2: great conversation. We hope that you enjoyed that one.

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Speaker 3: But my favorite Thursday was Thursday why do you like that?

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Speaker 4: Well? I love being at the front line.

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Speaker 3: I love hearing other voices and just hearing of their

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Speaker 3: experiences and their wisdom.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I liked it the most because it was real,

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Speaker 2: like this, this is are we not real? No, Well,

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Speaker 2: we're in Brisbane, so we're not living the lockdown life

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Speaker 2: in the same way that we have been through it.

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Speaker 2: But we haven't been through it for the length of

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Speaker 2: time the duration that New South Wales and Victoria and

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Speaker 2: the Act have. I mean, this is this is unprecedented.

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Speaker 2: This is absolutely so and it's so unnatural. It's so hard.

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Speaker 2: So hearing what parents are going through was I just

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Speaker 2: think so valuable. So if you are in lockdown, we

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Speaker 2: hope that this has been a useful week of podcast

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Speaker 2: content for you. If you're not, we're still pretty confident

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Speaker 2: that what we've shared it would be useful to help

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Speaker 2: your family to be happier. Up next, we're going to

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Speaker 2: unpick our week with Old Do Better Tomorrow, where we

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Speaker 2: look at how we can reflect and be more intentional

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Speaker 2: as parents in the week ahead.

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Speaker 1: It's their Happy Families podcast.

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Speaker 3: For a happier family, try a Happy Families membership, because

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Speaker 3: a happy family doesn't just happen.

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Speaker 2: Details at happy families dot com dot au.

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Speaker 3: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time

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Speaker 3: poor parent who just wants answers now And we're finally

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Speaker 3: getting to Better Tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: So normly on a Friday, the whole episode is all

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Speaker 2: about the ups and downs of calson family life and

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Speaker 2: the lessons that we can learn so that we can

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Speaker 2: be more intentional as parents. Every now and again, we'll

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Speaker 2: get some feedback. People will be like, I'll do better tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: What are you just telling us stories Like no, no, no.

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Speaker 2: The stories are there to serve a purpose that is

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Speaker 2: to help us as parents across the board, to be

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Speaker 2: more intentional with the way that we engage with our

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Speaker 2: children and I think that we've got a couple of

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Speaker 2: great stories to help us with that today, and none

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Speaker 2: of them involve breast examinations of children who are convinced

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Speaker 2: that they have breast cancer even though their teenagers and

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Speaker 2: are perfectly healthy.

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Speaker 4: So what's your I'll do about it tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: So I'm going to share two stories, and they'll be

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Speaker 2: really quick. I promised you. If you could only see

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Speaker 2: Kylie's face right now, she's like, Gosh, you're greedy. You

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Speaker 2: do all the talking all the time. I promised they'll

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Speaker 2: be quick. First one, I had to take the car

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Speaker 2: for a service just the other day, and one of

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Speaker 2: our kids came with. She came with me. She was

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Speaker 2: driving our second car so that she could bring me home.

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Speaker 2: After I dropped the car off. There's a really amazing,

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Speaker 2: amazing French patisserie right next to the Mechanic down in Cleveland.

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Speaker 2: It's called La Bush Free Plug. Not sponsored. They didn't

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Speaker 2: they don't even know that I exist. But it just

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Speaker 2: amazing French bakery, goods and well. I dropped the car

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Speaker 2: off and I said to Ella, I know you're on

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Speaker 2: your way to school, would you like a French partisseeri

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Speaker 2: kind of treat to take the school and she said, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I would. Now. The truth is, I only wanted to

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Speaker 2: go to the French patisseriy because I needed some breakfast

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Speaker 2: because I've gone for a really long bike ride that

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Speaker 2: morning and I still hadn't had anything. But I figured

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Speaker 2: i'd get her a treat at the same time. So

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Speaker 2: I bought a little bit of breaking for me and

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Speaker 2: a tree for Ella, a big gluten free chocolate brownie,

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Speaker 2: as it happens. And while I was making that order,

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Speaker 2: the phone rang. It was you, and you said, Hey,

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Speaker 2: just calling me to find out what you're up to.

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Speaker 2: And I said, oh, I've just dropped the car off

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Speaker 2: and I'm grabbing a little treat for Ella for school

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Speaker 2: from the bakery next door. And then I hung up

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Speaker 2: the phone and said see you later to you. And

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Speaker 2: as soon as I was off the phone, Ella looked

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Speaker 2: at me and she said, Dad, I don't think you

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Speaker 2: were totally honest with Mum there, because you're not really

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Speaker 2: here for me, are you. I was like, oh gosh.

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Speaker 2: So as soon as I walked in the door, I had.

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Speaker 3: Well that the actual nail in the coffin, yep, was

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Speaker 3: when you came home. Me knowing full well that you

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Speaker 3: had definitely brought something for you. You didn't even buy

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Speaker 3: me anything.

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Speaker 4: Oh I know.

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Speaker 2: So anyway, I'll do better tomorrow, full truth, full disclosure

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Speaker 2: at all times, or say nothing, say nothing, I think,

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Speaker 2: or just buy Kylie a treat next time.

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Speaker 4: What's your second one?

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Speaker 2: Oh? The second one is actually i'll do better tomorrow

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Speaker 2: that I wanted to share. So we've got a very

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Speaker 2: clear morning routine in our home. And I walked into

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Speaker 2: the bedroom because I'd called Lily for our family time

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Speaker 2: every morning family time sometime around seven seven fifteen. We're

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Speaker 2: flexible on it, but it's a round about. Then called

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Speaker 2: out to Lily, our eleven year old, Hey, come on, kiddo,

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Speaker 2: it's time to get on with this, and she just

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Speaker 2: she was nowhere. No matter how many times I called,

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Speaker 2: four or five times, wasn't showing up. And then one

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Speaker 2: of the kids said, Dad, she's still in bed. She's asleep.

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Speaker 2: She won't get out of bed. Now. What I didn't

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Speaker 2: know is that they'd set me up. So I've gone

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Speaker 2: into the bedroom and there's Lily asleep in bed. She's

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Speaker 2: got a hoodie covering her head, her face buried in

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Speaker 2: the pillow, and I said, Lily. I've called you like

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Speaker 2: five times. Come on, kiddo, let's go nothing like there's

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Speaker 2: just nothing at all. I'm like, oh, come on, this

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Speaker 2: is ridiculous. And I got crossed at her. I said, Lily, seriously,

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Speaker 2: I don't want to have to drag you out of bed.

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Speaker 2: It's time to get moving. You can't be that tired.

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Speaker 2: You went to bed on time. I'm giving her this

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Speaker 2: big lecture for about fifteen or twenty seconds, and then

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Speaker 2: I hear this laughter from out in the kitchen area

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Speaker 2: and it's Lily, and I'm like, huh, I've grabbed the

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Speaker 2: blankets and pulled them back. There's three pillows underneath the blankets.

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Speaker 2: The teddy bear is laying there. She's put the hoodie

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Speaker 2: on her teddy, and you were completely jooped. I was

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Speaker 2: lecturing the teddy about how the teddy needed to be

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Speaker 2: on time. She's out in the kitchen. She thought it

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Speaker 2: was the funniest thing. And what I loved about that

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Speaker 2: practical joke is it just reminded me of how, regardless

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Speaker 2: of anything else that's going on in your world, if

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Speaker 2: you can find humor, it lightens the load. It makes

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Speaker 2: family life feel good. And I wanted to share that

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Speaker 2: because intentionally, here's this kid that's played a practical joke

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Speaker 2: on me, and it changed the mood of our family

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Speaker 2: for the rest of the morning. Not that the family

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Speaker 2: was not doing well. We were actually just fine, except

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Speaker 2: for the fact that Lily wasn't where she should be.

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Speaker 2: But it was just fun and I love I think

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Speaker 2: that as parents we get so caught up in the

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Speaker 2: seriousness of it all, especially during pandemic lockdown stuff, and

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Speaker 2: if we can just lighten things up with a bit

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Speaker 2: of humor, oh my goodness, it can make a big difference.

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Speaker 2: That's my I'll do better tomorrow. What's yours to.

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Speaker 3: Share a different experience, but based on what you shared,

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Speaker 3: I think that I'll just add to that. We've had

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Speaker 3: a couple of days where Miss seven has just refused

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Speaker 3: to be at school, she just doesn't want to go

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Speaker 3: at all. And so the other morning I just said

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Speaker 3: to her, all right, well, your room looks like it's

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Speaker 3: a mess. Why don't you clean up your room and

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Speaker 3: you can spend some time in here. And I was

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Speaker 3: just going to go hang the washing out, and within

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Speaker 3: about five minutes, I get mom, can you come and

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Speaker 3: help me get dressed? And I went in and she'd

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Speaker 3: kind of she'd flipped, she'd flipped a switch all by herself,

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Speaker 3: because I just gave her the space to kind of

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Speaker 3: work through it. But yesterday morning she came to me

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Speaker 3: and I could tell she was agitated, and when I

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Speaker 3: held her, I could actually feel her heart beating, and

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Speaker 3: I could just tell that she was really starting to

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Speaker 3: get agitated. So I did that five four three two

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Speaker 3: one with her.

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Speaker 2: Oh yes, So for those of you who are not

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Speaker 2: familiar with five four three two one, you just sit

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Speaker 2: with your child and so long as they're not emotionally

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Speaker 2: flooded and having a tantrum, you just hey, what are

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Speaker 2: five things that you can see? What are four things

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Speaker 2: that you can feel? What are three things that you

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Speaker 2: can hear? What are two things that you can smell?

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Speaker 2: And what's one thing you can taste?

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Speaker 3: And what was amazing was like literally as I was

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Speaker 3: holding her, and I could feel her heart just pumping

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Speaker 3: really really fast, and her body was stiff. But she

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Speaker 3: wasn't angry. She was agitated, I could tell, and I

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Speaker 3: just said, hey, can you tell me what five things

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Speaker 3: you can see? And instantly she just everything changed.

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Speaker 2: And so we because it's a well practiced thing in

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Speaker 2: our home. We do this with some not heaps, not overly,

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Speaker 2: but we do it with some consistency.

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Speaker 4: So we got to two things. You can smell.

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Speaker 2: Smells one of her favorites, by the way, She's always

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Speaker 2: been a smelly kind of kid.

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Speaker 4: It is.

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Speaker 3: And you had just sprayed your deodorant, so she could

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Speaker 3: smell your deodorant. And then she looked at me and

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Speaker 3: she said, and I can smell your morning breath. And

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Speaker 3: we just erupted into laughter, and that was the end

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Speaker 3: of it. She got on with her mourning.

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Speaker 2: Well, actually there was one more. One thing you can taste.

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Speaker 4: Oh, it's always spit with her.

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Speaker 2: I can taste my spip.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what else you're supposed to say you

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Speaker 3: can daste. But it just changed the morning all of

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Speaker 3: a sudden. This really agitated child who really didn't want

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Speaker 3: to comply with the morning routine, got up, got on

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Speaker 3: with it, and we got.

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Speaker 4: To school on time.

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Speaker 2: Amazing.

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Speaker 4: Yep.

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Speaker 2: So parenting with intention, you don't have to get angry,

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Speaker 2: you don't have to yell at the kids. You just

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Speaker 2: have to help them be balanced and centered, find some humor,

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Speaker 2: and buy treats for everyone.

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Speaker 3: Brush your teeth and right clearly before you talk to

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Speaker 3: your child.

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Speaker 2: We really hope that you've enjoyed the podcast today and

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Speaker 2: this week. Thank you so much for listening. If you

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Speaker 2: do enjoy it, we are always very very thankful for

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Speaker 2: those of you who jump onto Apple Podcasts and leave

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Speaker 2: those five star ratings and reviews. There's been a couple

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Speaker 2: of really really kind reviews left lately five stars and wonderful,

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Speaker 2: wonderful things that have been said about the podcast. Thank

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Speaker 2: you to those of you who have done that. The

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Speaker 2: Happy Family's podcast is produced by Justin Ruhlan from Bridge

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Speaker 2: Media and Craig Bruce is our executive producer. If you'd

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Speaker 2: like more information about making your family HAPPI actually, if

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Speaker 2: you have tween or teen girls, please take a look

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Speaker 2: at the Miss Connection Summit. It's a summit for parents

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Speaker 2: of children aged eight to eighteen. If you're raising girls

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Speaker 2: eight to eighteen, this is the summit for you, with

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Speaker 2: some of Australia's very best experts talking about the things

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Speaker 2: that matter most as you try to navigate those tween

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Speaker 2: and then those adolescent years. Or The information on the

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Speaker 2: miss Connection Summit is a Happy Families dot com dot

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Speaker 2: Au