WEBVTT - He put a ring on it - Matty J and Laura got hitched 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:05.320 Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout 0:00:05.320 --> 0:00:09.080 Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We 0:00:09.160 --> 0:00:11.920 pay our respect to their elders past and present and 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:15.360 extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait islander 0:00:15.360 --> 0:00:16.120 peoples today. 0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:19.560 This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora Nation. 0:00:39.120 --> 0:00:45.879 Hi guys, and welcome back to another podcast. That way hi, 0:00:46.800 --> 0:00:48.400 way too long. I'm taking over. 0:00:48.560 --> 0:00:51.960 Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. 0:00:52.000 --> 0:00:54.560 I'm Brittany and I'm Laura, and like to be fair, 0:00:54.680 --> 0:00:56.960 this is a podcast. Welcome back to a podcast. Who 0:00:56.960 --> 0:00:58.600 knows what one it is. I'm never giving you a 0:00:58.600 --> 0:01:01.360 week off again? You weeks. Oh that's the problem. You've 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:04.160 forgotten own a podcast, forgot money, do everything? Do you 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:05.800 know what? Maybe it's because I'm a whole new person. 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:08.120 Maybe it's because I'm not Laura Burn anymore, you know 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:10.679 I am. It's because I'm a married woman. Hey guys, 0:01:10.680 --> 0:01:14.760 welcome to the podcast. This is a podcast. What a 0:01:14.800 --> 0:01:17.520 fucking mess. We could start that again, but we won't. Look, 0:01:18.000 --> 0:01:21.039 I got married and did and I haven't been here 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:24.760 and we've had producer Keisha filling In doing a fantastic job, 0:01:24.959 --> 0:01:28.200 really amazing job, and Keish have been holding the fort 0:01:28.360 --> 0:01:28.840 thus far. 0:01:29.120 --> 0:01:32.480 We did attempt to not message you. We attempted to 0:01:32.520 --> 0:01:34.640 not bring work stuff your way. Obviously there are a 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:36.240 few messages here and there. But did you have a 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:37.559 good week two weeks off? 0:01:38.120 --> 0:01:38.320 Well? 0:01:38.360 --> 0:01:40.399 It wasn't off. Well, it wasn't off like okay, so 0:01:40.480 --> 0:01:42.520 the wedding was do you know what? Before we go 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:44.759 any further, we'll just tell you what today's episode is about, 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:47.440 because it is a deep dive into all things wedding. 0:01:47.520 --> 0:01:50.000 But not just with me. We have who else, My 0:01:50.240 --> 0:01:54.000 lovely husband, Maddie Jay joining us shortly to tell you 0:01:54.040 --> 0:01:55.680 everything that went down. He's running late. 0:01:55.680 --> 0:01:57.360 He's a bit of a diva now, isn't He gets 0:01:57.360 --> 0:01:58.840 married now? He won't turn off on time? 0:01:59.040 --> 0:02:00.680 Is that what happens after you get married? I don't know. 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:02.880 I wouldn't know. I feel like usually that stuff happens 0:02:02.880 --> 0:02:07.400 after you start doing breakfast radio. No, I'm on time. No, 0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:09.280 So Matt's going to be joining us in a little bit, 0:02:09.320 --> 0:02:11.560 so we won't get into the wedding chat. Now that's 0:02:11.600 --> 0:02:14.120 all coming, it's all coming. It's all coming. So we 0:02:14.280 --> 0:02:16.880 had like five days down the coast, down in Mollymook, 0:02:17.240 --> 0:02:18.919 which we were trying to keep secret so that the 0:02:18.919 --> 0:02:22.519 paps wouldn't find us, but surprise, surprise, they did. Where 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:24.960 there's a Wilder's away, there certainly is. So we spent 0:02:25.040 --> 0:02:27.240 five days down the coast and then we came back 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:28.960 up to Sydney and things just kind of went back 0:02:28.960 --> 0:02:30.799 to normally. The kids went back to daycare, we got 0:02:30.800 --> 0:02:35.240 back to work. But we are recording this very very 0:02:35.320 --> 0:02:39.600 late on a Monday night because and the reason for 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:41.720 that is what. 0:02:42.200 --> 0:02:43.679 I thought, we're going to say it at the same time. 0:02:43.800 --> 0:02:45.280 I was gonna yell at the same time, but then 0:02:45.320 --> 0:02:47.160 I thought that that might blow people's ear drums out. 0:02:47.200 --> 0:02:49.840 The podcast A Training Podcast Awards were last night and 0:02:49.919 --> 0:02:54.720 we mind blown. We won the People's Choice Award, which 0:02:54.720 --> 0:02:57.520 is the one that we just really loved and came about, 0:02:57.600 --> 0:02:59.880 which the only reason why we won this is because 0:03:00.080 --> 0:03:02.320 all of you guys have voted and this so the 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:04.560 People's Choice Award. It's the same award that we've won 0:03:04.600 --> 0:03:06.919 the last couple of years. This is now our third 0:03:06.960 --> 0:03:10.000 year in a row, which is wild to even say. Well, honestly, 0:03:10.600 --> 0:03:13.799 and look, we'll tell you a little secret. We didn't 0:03:13.800 --> 0:03:15.640 think that we were going to win this year. I mean, 0:03:15.639 --> 0:03:17.800 obviously the last two years have been incredible, but this 0:03:17.880 --> 0:03:20.200 year we kind of thought there's so many more podcasts 0:03:20.240 --> 0:03:22.880 out now, Like every day there's a new podcast that's created, 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:26.040 there's so many incredible podcasts out there. But you guys 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:29.120 did it for us, and we're so incredibly grateful, Like 0:03:29.280 --> 0:03:30.160 you're fucking amazing. 0:03:30.240 --> 0:03:32.440 There really are so many incredible podcasts now and so 0:03:32.480 --> 0:03:35.440 many talented, talented people, and we were, I mean, we 0:03:35.440 --> 0:03:37.560 were up there with the best. Our company was amazing. 0:03:37.880 --> 0:03:40.440 Mom and Maya out loud. Yeah, bloody love those ladies, 0:03:40.480 --> 0:03:43.400 love them genuinely. I think the big thing with podcasting 0:03:43.480 --> 0:03:46.000 is that, especially because it's such a female dominated space, 0:03:46.320 --> 0:03:48.760 there's this belief that everyone must be in competition with 0:03:48.840 --> 0:03:51.360 each other and that the competition can't be friendly. But 0:03:51.480 --> 0:03:54.720 it's such an incredibly supportive space, like Mea and Holly 0:03:54.880 --> 0:03:58.000 and Jesse have been so supportive of our podcast, and 0:03:58.280 --> 0:04:01.240 it's actually just an incredible privileged be alongside such a 0:04:01.400 --> 0:04:03.600 powerhouse of a female lead podcast. 0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:05.520 But we do really just want to say from the 0:04:05.520 --> 0:04:08.480 bottom of our hearts. Thank you, because if it's not 0:04:08.520 --> 0:04:10.560 for you, guys, every I'm about to get emotional about 0:04:10.560 --> 0:04:12.440 to cry. If it's not for you guys every day 0:04:12.480 --> 0:04:14.520 tuning into us, and sometimes Laura and I need to 0:04:14.640 --> 0:04:15.360 Why am I crying? 0:04:15.400 --> 0:04:16.160 I don't even have my. 0:04:16.120 --> 0:04:19.080 Periods Because we're so great, We're so grateful, because it's 0:04:19.120 --> 0:04:21.600 not lost on us how lucky we are to do 0:04:21.640 --> 0:04:24.640 something we love and have this huge extended family, and 0:04:25.440 --> 0:04:26.920 I feel like that's what we are. I feel like 0:04:26.920 --> 0:04:29.039 you guys are part of our family. We're only here 0:04:29.360 --> 0:04:31.680 because of your love and support and because. 0:04:31.520 --> 0:04:33.159 Laura and I are crazy and just for some reason 0:04:33.200 --> 0:04:33.800 never gave up. 0:04:34.080 --> 0:04:36.440 It's still here but because of you guys, and the 0:04:36.480 --> 0:04:38.640 fact that you actually took the time to go on 0:04:38.800 --> 0:04:40.880 and vote for us at the awards. You know, I 0:04:40.920 --> 0:04:42.560 know it didn't take long, but you still had to 0:04:42.600 --> 0:04:44.080 make an effort. And the number of you that wrote 0:04:44.120 --> 0:04:45.920 to us to say that you did that, we read 0:04:45.960 --> 0:04:47.040 every single message. 0:04:47.279 --> 0:04:48.200 We're so appreciative. 0:04:48.200 --> 0:04:49.839 We just want to say we love you so much 0:04:49.880 --> 0:04:52.239 and we appreciate you all so so much. 0:04:52.440 --> 0:04:53.760 Yeah, and the only thing I want to add to 0:04:53.760 --> 0:04:56.240 that is, just like, what an amazing community life on 0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:58.880 cut is we can't wait to like head into twenty 0:04:58.880 --> 0:05:01.240 twenty three and keep creat content that you guys love. 0:05:01.320 --> 0:05:03.520 If there's anything that you want us to talk about, 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:05.480 if there's new guests that you want to have on, 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:07.760 you run this as much as we run this, so 0:05:08.000 --> 0:05:09.520 point us in the direction of the stuff that you 0:05:09.520 --> 0:05:11.640 want to listen to, and that's exactly what we will 0:05:11.680 --> 0:05:12.120 look at doing. 0:05:12.200 --> 0:05:15.520 The community is absolutely after this will stop talking about 0:05:15.680 --> 0:05:18.120 the community. You guys is our favorite part of the 0:05:18.120 --> 0:05:21.200 podcast for us to look in the Facebook discussion group. 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:24.040 And over the last year, you guys have helped I 0:05:24.080 --> 0:05:26.400 mean Dennis, We love Dennis. Dennis was a man that 0:05:26.600 --> 0:05:29.920 was facing homelessness. He was an older man that one 0:05:29.960 --> 0:05:32.120 of our listeners went out of her way to help, 0:05:32.160 --> 0:05:33.720 and then everyone got on board and we raised so 0:05:33.800 --> 0:05:36.560 much money for him. There have been countless numbers of 0:05:36.680 --> 0:05:39.200 charities we've helped and families we've helped, and I'm so 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:42.120 emotional and proud to see it. But I really love 0:05:42.160 --> 0:05:43.960 you guys, and I'm proud that you're all such fucking 0:05:43.960 --> 0:05:44.480 good humans. 0:05:44.480 --> 0:05:45.880 And I don't know why I'm crying. 0:05:45.920 --> 0:05:49.799 It's all cry because it's in this day and age. 0:05:49.800 --> 0:05:51.640 In this world, it's really hard to just find a 0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:54.000 group of people that just want the best for each other, 0:05:54.080 --> 0:05:55.760 and they want the best for other people in life, 0:05:55.800 --> 0:05:57.599 and they go they'll take the shirt off their back 0:05:57.640 --> 0:05:59.640 to help someone else, and it is it's a rarity 0:05:59.760 --> 0:06:03.040 these days. It really is people always competing. 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:03.240 Against each other. 0:06:03.240 --> 0:06:04.600 And you know, it's hard if I people that want 0:06:04.600 --> 0:06:06.520 to lift people up these days. But we have this 0:06:06.600 --> 0:06:09.120 community that's like I have tears rolling down my face. 0:06:09.160 --> 0:06:12.120 We have this community that's like, I I just bloddy 0:06:12.160 --> 0:06:12.679 love you guys. 0:06:12.680 --> 0:06:16.720 That's all I want to say. Okay, everything the British 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:19.000 just said, I absolutely echo. And the only other thing 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:21.080 I want to add is as much as we love 0:06:21.520 --> 0:06:24.240 the positives that come our way, we also appreciate the criticism, 0:06:24.320 --> 0:06:27.280 and we also appreciate it when you tell us destructive 0:06:27.320 --> 0:06:30.240 constructive criticism. I don't just say with fucking hate us up, 0:06:30.520 --> 0:06:33.279 but like, we appreciate the criticism and we are always 0:06:33.320 --> 0:06:35.159 trying to do better. But not just was it a 0:06:35.200 --> 0:06:37.960 big week in the world of podcasting. On Sunday night, 0:06:38.080 --> 0:06:40.719 something else that I wanted to touch on, which was 0:06:41.040 --> 0:06:42.599 I mean, it was a really remarkable thing to be 0:06:42.640 --> 0:06:44.720 a part of but also I think it all changed 0:06:44.760 --> 0:06:47.479 the face of television and also change the face of 0:06:48.040 --> 0:06:51.520 female fronted television. I got to be on the Project 0:06:51.560 --> 0:06:54.119 on Sunday as one of the fill in like ringing 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:56.720 hosts last minute, They're like, Laura Ben, what are you doing. 0:06:56.880 --> 0:06:59.240 You're doing a great No, don't understell yourself here the 0:06:59.360 --> 0:07:01.560 first pick. You're doing an absolutely great job. You've been 0:07:01.600 --> 0:07:04.640 sporadically filling in. You're doing very very well. 0:07:04.680 --> 0:07:05.919 Not that I did do a great job, but I 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:08.200 did sporadically fill in like I did. 0:07:09.000 --> 0:07:10.840 I saw that they've got a name card for you, 0:07:10.880 --> 0:07:12.520 a placard on the door. I saw that on a 0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:13.120 post it note. 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:16.160 Yeah it's really official. Yeah that is get more official 0:07:16.200 --> 0:07:18.440 than that. But Okay, the big thing about that show 0:07:18.640 --> 0:07:21.360 was that at the end of it, Lisa Wilkinson announced 0:07:21.400 --> 0:07:24.720 in a very touching speech that she is removing herself 0:07:24.720 --> 0:07:27.560 from the Project effective pretty much immediately, and that she's 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:30.200 taking some time out from being a broadcaster and being 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:32.840 on TV in general. And I think like this year, 0:07:33.480 --> 0:07:36.080 not just Lisa's story, which obviously there's a lot of 0:07:36.200 --> 0:07:39.080 backstory there around the Britney Higgins case and there's some 0:07:39.280 --> 0:07:41.280 negative parts to it where I think she felt very 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:43.640 forced into it by the negative backlash that she's received 0:07:43.640 --> 0:07:47.360 through media. But we have lost a lot of wonderful 0:07:47.400 --> 0:07:50.880 female led journalists this year. Carrie Bigmore is leaving The Project, 0:07:51.160 --> 0:07:54.320 Lise Sales has left her news reporting role, Tracy Grimshaw, 0:07:54.720 --> 0:08:00.160 Lisa Wilkinson. It is, I personally think devastating to see 0:08:00.240 --> 0:08:03.760 such incredible female journalists leave the field and for us 0:08:03.800 --> 0:08:06.840 to not yet have women to replace them. It seems 0:08:06.880 --> 0:08:08.920 like more women are leaving before women are coming up 0:08:08.960 --> 0:08:11.040 in the ranks, and that's a really worrying and frightening 0:08:11.080 --> 0:08:13.680 space because they are the people who have been held 0:08:13.760 --> 0:08:15.720 up as the role models within the industry, and I 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:19.000 think we all grew up with these female powerhouses and 0:08:19.040 --> 0:08:22.000 to see them kind of leave our TV screens, I 0:08:22.040 --> 0:08:24.040 think it's just so so sad it is. 0:08:24.120 --> 0:08:26.320 And I didn't get to watch it, but I did 0:08:26.400 --> 0:08:29.560 listen to Lisa's speech this morning, and it was very emotional. 0:08:29.560 --> 0:08:31.560 It was very emotive, very moving, and you could tell 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:33.480 it was very heartfelt and she has had a very 0:08:33.840 --> 0:08:35.960 long and incredible career. And that's not to say it's over, 0:08:36.000 --> 0:08:38.840 because it most certainly is not. I'm interested to see 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:41.000 the transition and the pivot, and she has said she's 0:08:41.000 --> 0:08:44.080 staying with Channel ten. I'm very interested because all at once, 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:46.080 like you just said, in this very short amount of time, 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:49.160 we've lost these key female players. There's a lot of 0:08:49.160 --> 0:08:50.920 moving parts, a lot of people are moving around, a 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:53.480 lot of people, people are moving networks, moving on resigning. 0:08:54.080 --> 0:08:55.520 I'm very interested. 0:08:55.120 --> 0:08:57.600 To see what happens and who feels though she's maybe 0:08:57.640 --> 0:08:59.079 Laura Burne, I think you're free available. 0:08:59.120 --> 0:09:01.520 You could be an option. I mean, that's very subtle, brit. 0:09:01.720 --> 0:09:03.000 Do you think we just cut this bit of the 0:09:03.000 --> 0:09:05.280 recorder and send it across to Channel ten hats? Yeah? Yeah, 0:09:05.320 --> 0:09:07.880 why not sent it straight to them? Hi, guys, here 0:09:07.880 --> 0:09:10.000 it is. Here's my resume in my application form for 0:09:10.000 --> 0:09:12.679 our position that I think became available on the project. 0:09:12.800 --> 0:09:15.760 Please Dick, yes, no, maybe no, Lisa, we absolutely love you. 0:09:15.760 --> 0:09:18.160 We were amazing. Okay, there's something else before we get 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:21.720 into all things wedding chat. There's something else that happened recently. 0:09:21.920 --> 0:09:23.880 And look, this is a tricky one and I know 0:09:23.960 --> 0:09:26.559 that you might find this a bit challenging to navigate, Brit, 0:09:26.559 --> 0:09:29.480 because it has to do with Rebel Wilson. You may 0:09:29.559 --> 0:09:32.320 have seen on the eighth of November that Rebel Wilson 0:09:32.360 --> 0:09:35.480 announced that she had had a baby Vias surrogacy. Now 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:38.480 that little baby's name is Royce Lillian Britt. I know 0:09:39.080 --> 0:09:40.880 how excited you were. I know you guys touched on 0:09:40.880 --> 0:09:43.000 this on the podcast when I was away. But the 0:09:43.040 --> 0:09:45.520 thing that we wanted to talk about is that Rebel 0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:48.240 has made headlines since this, and it's not because of 0:09:48.280 --> 0:09:51.440 the wonderful news of her baby, but it's because of 0:09:51.480 --> 0:09:54.240 the actions and something that she did which caused a 0:09:54.280 --> 0:09:56.760 whole lot of backlash, a whole lot of mum shaming. 0:09:57.080 --> 0:09:59.240 One might say. Now, this isn't a new thing for 0:09:59.320 --> 0:10:01.360 us to talk about. We actually spoke about mum shaming 0:10:01.360 --> 0:10:04.000 a couple of weeks ago when we were speaking about 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:06.960 Ashi Bynes. So. She's the influencer on the Gold Coast. 0:10:07.000 --> 0:10:09.040 She's a fitness chick, very big on Instagram, like over 0:10:09.040 --> 0:10:11.160 a million followers. Now, if you don't remember that story, 0:10:11.200 --> 0:10:13.920 it was basically like Ash binds her baby was three 0:10:13.960 --> 0:10:16.240 months old, she went away for a girl's weekend and 0:10:16.280 --> 0:10:18.440 the baby stayed with her dad. With the baby's dad 0:10:18.480 --> 0:10:21.120 were not with Ash binds his dad, which was alt 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:26.839 to be fine, okay. But the reason why we're talking 0:10:26.840 --> 0:10:30.000 about this is because the week after Rebel Wilson had 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:33.280 posted that she'd had her baby Bia surrogacy, she also 0:10:33.320 --> 0:10:36.640 posted a video about seven days later that she and 0:10:36.679 --> 0:10:41.520 her partner Ramona were at Leonardo DiCaprio's party. And now 0:10:41.640 --> 0:10:44.880 the judgment came in quick, and it came in fast. 0:10:45.040 --> 0:10:47.480 The judgment being that the people who were writing on 0:10:47.480 --> 0:10:50.880 her Instagram were writing things like she's a new mum 0:10:51.160 --> 0:10:55.599 and she shouldn't even consider being away from her child 0:10:55.640 --> 0:10:58.160 to be able to enjoy a party. How selfish it was, 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:01.160 how unbelievable it was that a new wouldn't be connecting 0:11:01.200 --> 0:11:04.360 with her child, spending every single waking moment with her baby, 0:11:04.559 --> 0:11:06.640 that she would be out partying. And we have a 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:07.480 few feelings about it. 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:09.800 Well, it did come in fast and hot. You're absolutely right, 0:11:09.840 --> 0:11:11.080 it came in heavy. There were a lot of people 0:11:11.080 --> 0:11:13.679 in her corner as well, for sure. And I want 0:11:13.720 --> 0:11:16.320 to start this conversation by saying we would have this 0:11:16.360 --> 0:11:19.400 conversation regardless of who it was. It just so happens 0:11:19.400 --> 0:11:21.240 to be somebody that is a friend of the podcast 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:23.880 and it is a friend of mine. That doesn't change 0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:26.959 my thoughts whatsoever. I think we need to have a 0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:29.600 very honest and real conversation about mum shaming. I am 0:11:29.600 --> 0:11:31.480 not a mum, so I do not know what it 0:11:31.559 --> 0:11:33.480 is like to have a baby. I do not know 0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:34.800 what it's like to be at home with a baby. 0:11:34.800 --> 0:11:36.199 I don't know what it's like to have a surrogate. 0:11:36.320 --> 0:11:38.640 I cannot comment from that. All I can comment is 0:11:38.679 --> 0:11:43.160 from a human on the outside looking in. I think 0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:46.120 it really needs to be said, Like relationships, like people's 0:11:46.160 --> 0:11:50.000 life journey, there is no one right way, there's no 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:52.240 one right paths. What's right for someone else is wrong 0:11:52.280 --> 0:11:55.880 for someone else. Why is it so bad for a 0:11:55.920 --> 0:11:57.720 woman that has had a baby in the last two weeks? 0:11:57.760 --> 0:12:00.319 And to be clear, this situation is different to a 0:12:00.400 --> 0:12:04.199 normal birth. She has a surrogate, she is a Hollywood superstar. 0:12:04.360 --> 0:12:07.680 She's in a very privileged position. We don't know the 0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:09.960 details of what she is, but we know her family's 0:12:09.960 --> 0:12:12.200 over there, her mum's over there, she has nanny and 0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:15.040 a night nurse, and she's in a very very privileged position. 0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:17.439 This is to be clear. So it's very hard from 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:21.119 the get go to compare our own journeys to somebody 0:12:21.240 --> 0:12:23.040 like that. And I think that that's a really important 0:12:23.120 --> 0:12:25.960 place to start. Not that we should be comparing anyone, 0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:29.480 but she's in a privileged position. What people were saying is, 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:33.280 how dare you go out to party when you have 0:12:33.320 --> 0:12:36.360 a newborn at home? But would it be different, and 0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:38.040 this is my question, do you think it would be 0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:40.960 different if she took that hour two hours away, which 0:12:40.960 --> 0:12:42.800 she did, It was only a couple of hours. Would 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:45.040 it be different if she was like, Hey, look at me, 0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:47.679 baby free, I'm going to get a massage, I'm going 0:12:47.679 --> 0:12:49.319 to have a meditation, I'm going to do some yoga 0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:51.000 to distress so I can be better for the baby. 0:12:51.000 --> 0:12:52.880 Would it be a different conversation if that was where 0:12:52.880 --> 0:12:53.560 she spent her time. 0:12:53.640 --> 0:12:56.160 Oh yeah, totally. It's the context of what was done, 0:12:56.280 --> 0:12:59.800 I think obviously, because it's partying, it's seen as frivolous. 0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:01.880 It's not seen as filling your cup up. Because she 0:13:02.040 --> 0:13:05.200 was somewhere where she was having fun. It goes against 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:07.320 the rules of being a new mum. And now the 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:09.679 unspoken rules of being a new mom is that you 0:13:09.720 --> 0:13:13.040 are a martyr. You sacrifice your time, your life, your 0:13:13.080 --> 0:13:16.080 everything to being a mom twenty four to seven, especially 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:18.560 during those first few weeks. I'm going to be fully 0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:20.719 honest with you, and I had to check my own 0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:23.760 bias with this. When I very first saw it. My 0:13:24.040 --> 0:13:27.920 very first initial reaction and instinct was like, oh, wow, 0:13:27.960 --> 0:13:30.000 I wouldn't go to a party after having a baby. 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:31.640 But then I had to think about it, and I 0:13:31.679 --> 0:13:33.760 was like, yeah, of course you wouldn't, Laura, because you 0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:36.880 birthed a baby, you physically could not have gone to 0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:39.200 a party. Trust me, if Leonardo DiCaprio had invited me 0:13:39.240 --> 0:13:41.839 to a party, could want to go. Amen. No, I 0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:44.240 wouldn't be there because I couldn't be there. I physically 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:46.880 couldn't be there. My body wouldn't have let me be there. 0:13:47.240 --> 0:13:48.960 The only thing I could do in the first couple 0:13:49.000 --> 0:13:51.000 of weeks after having a baby was be at home 0:13:51.360 --> 0:13:53.600 and be with my baby because I physically couldn't do 0:13:53.640 --> 0:13:56.559 anything else. So the surrogacy journey is very different. I 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:59.160 think unless you have experienced that, it's hard to compare 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:02.760 my motherhood journey with Rebel Wilson's motherhood journey. Right, and 0:14:03.360 --> 0:14:06.160 the things that were normal to me are never going 0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:09.160 to be normal to her. Because her whole experience is different. 0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:12.000 But I do think it comes down to this idea 0:14:12.040 --> 0:14:14.800 of like, just because you take time out for yourself 0:14:15.080 --> 0:14:17.560 initially in those first few weeks of being a mum, 0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:20.200 regardless of what the activity is, I think we can 0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:22.840 all make the very important assumption that she wasn't off 0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:26.200 like getting blind at a party. She just attended a party. 0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:30.560 Rebel actually very very very rarely drinks. That's just not 0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:33.200 who she is, It's not what she enjoys. Yeah, and 0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:35.920 I think that there's obviously partying has the connotations that 0:14:36.000 --> 0:14:38.800 she must be out getting blind. But I think, you know, 0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:41.480 going and leaving your baby in the care of someone 0:14:41.560 --> 0:14:45.000 else for a couple of hours, does it really matter 0:14:45.040 --> 0:14:47.320 what that activity is. Doesn't matter if you're going through 0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:49.120 massage as you said, Britt, or if you're going to 0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:51.960 a party, Like why are we able to determine what 0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:53.960 is a good use of a woman's time if it 0:14:54.000 --> 0:14:54.880 fills up their cup. 0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:57.960 The other wild thing about this that I wanted to discuss, 0:14:58.000 --> 0:15:00.200 and it does open a whole other chapter of discussion, 0:15:00.920 --> 0:15:04.800 is that this would never be the commentary if it 0:15:04.880 --> 0:15:07.600 was a dad that went away for a couple hours 0:15:07.600 --> 0:15:09.800 to a party and I know Laura that you. 0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:12.920 Have experienced this in some capacity with Manny Jay. Look, 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:15.080 it's a hard one because Okay, we spoke about this, 0:15:15.200 --> 0:15:17.680 like I said, with Ashy Bynes, and I gave my 0:15:17.720 --> 0:15:20.040 honest opinion around how I think that there is these 0:15:20.120 --> 0:15:23.280 unrealistic expectations on mums in the first few weeks, and 0:15:23.320 --> 0:15:25.480 how there is a very different set of standards for 0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:30.320 dads and the backlash that we received because of those 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:33.800 opinions came through. We even received a review from someone 0:15:33.840 --> 0:15:36.240 which was I'm paraphrasing it because I remember it when 0:15:36.240 --> 0:15:38.280 it came through because it made me mad, but it 0:15:38.320 --> 0:15:42.080 was mum chat, ain't it? And basically the review was 0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:45.240 saying exactly what these opinions of people who have written 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:48.040 in comments was is that as a mum, there's something 0:15:48.080 --> 0:15:50.240 really special and sacred about it and you should be 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:53.520 sacrificing and giving your time to your children. It's expected 0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:56.480 that that expectation is different to being a dad. And 0:15:56.520 --> 0:15:58.320 I guess for me, I struggle with the fact that, 0:15:58.400 --> 0:16:01.120 like so when I and I know I've told this before, 0:16:01.160 --> 0:16:03.960 but when I gave birth to Lola. Five days after 0:16:03.960 --> 0:16:06.800 giving birth to Lola, Matt started Dancing with the Stars. 0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:09.080 It was the same week that she was born. 0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:11.840 And Dancing with the Stars is a very for those 0:16:11.880 --> 0:16:13.800 that don't know, very grueling schedule. 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:17.480 It is a thirteen to sixteen hour day, often because 0:16:17.520 --> 0:16:19.640 they were either on filming and if they're not filming, 0:16:19.720 --> 0:16:23.560 they are practicing. Not one person messaged me, not one 0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:26.520 person slid into my DMS and said why is he 0:16:26.560 --> 0:16:28.440 not home with you? Or why is he not home 0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:31.800 with his baby? But there's a very different expectation of mums. 0:16:31.840 --> 0:16:33.520 If I was to have gone on Dancing with the 0:16:33.520 --> 0:16:35.840 Stars a week after having a baby, people would think 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:39.440 that I was the most neglectful mother. Oh, I mean, 0:16:39.600 --> 0:16:42.160 you would have heard about it, that's for sure. And 0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:44.120 now I'm not saying I'm not saying that being a 0:16:44.200 --> 0:16:45.960 mum and a dad need to be exactly the same. 0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:48.480 I understand that there's different roles. You know. As a mum, 0:16:48.560 --> 0:16:50.520 we do take on a more nurturing role. We do 0:16:50.680 --> 0:16:52.920 end up being the carers because for a lot of 0:16:52.920 --> 0:16:55.320 women who choose to breastfeed, we're also the food sauce 0:16:55.440 --> 0:16:58.400 right physically, the food source. But I think we need 0:16:58.400 --> 0:17:00.640 to keep that in mind when we judge someone like 0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:03.720 Rebel Wilson. Rebel Wilson is not the food sauce. So 0:17:04.160 --> 0:17:06.679 if she is feeding her baby, it's by bottle. If 0:17:06.760 --> 0:17:09.480 Ramona is feeding her baby, it's by bottle. And if 0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:11.800 their mum, you know, the nana, is feeding the baby, 0:17:11.840 --> 0:17:14.320 it's by bottle. So I just think that we can't 0:17:14.320 --> 0:17:17.760 compare what is right for one person's motherhood journey and 0:17:17.880 --> 0:17:21.240 imprint that on every single person's motherhood journey. Ultimately, the 0:17:21.240 --> 0:17:22.960 big take home message for this, and something that I 0:17:23.000 --> 0:17:25.320 had to check my own bias with, is that just 0:17:25.359 --> 0:17:27.840 because someone does something different or something that you don't 0:17:27.880 --> 0:17:31.159 agree with in how they mother, in how they choose 0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:34.200 to bring up their children, it doesn't automatically make them 0:17:34.320 --> 0:17:37.320