Speaker 1: Quest.
Speaker 2: Yeah, welcome friends to the Christian O'Connell show podcast.
Speaker 1: Now, over the weekend, you had a really big weekend.
Speaker 1: Your son turned two, and I can't believe how quickly
Speaker 1: it's gone. I remember when it was a big thing
Speaker 1: when you surprise us all on the show that you
Speaker 1: guys your wife was expecting your first child. Doesn't fail
Speaker 1: that long ago, like long ago at all, and then
Speaker 1: it must it goes Honestly, now it's a dad or
Speaker 1: two with a seventeen or nineteen year old, it goes
Speaker 1: so quickly. But in the first year it fails. When
Speaker 1: everyone's saying it's going to go very quickly, it doesn't
Speaker 1: go galacial. It's so slow.
Speaker 2: But now every couple of weeks, sometimes every second day,
Speaker 2: he's showing you something new that he's learned, and you
Speaker 2: can't believe how quickly it's going.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I used to find that you'd go to work
Speaker 1: when they were asleep and you'd come back from doing
Speaker 1: the breakfast show and just in like twelve hours, there's
Speaker 1: something different about them.
Speaker 2: Can I share with you something beat great bit of
Speaker 2: wisdom that was passed on to me by a friend
Speaker 2: over the weekend. He's got daughters are nine and seven.
Speaker 2: He told me about this thing he heard about called
Speaker 2: the second space, where if you think of work or
Speaker 2: wherever you are in the day is the first space,
Speaker 2: and coming home is the third space. The intention you
Speaker 2: set in the second space is how you show up
Speaker 2: at home. So for most people would be on the car,
Speaker 2: in the car journey, right on the way home. And
Speaker 2: he said, I always want to show up in that
Speaker 2: third space in the best way. Come through the door,
Speaker 2: mirror my kid's happiness to see me be the husband
Speaker 2: to my wife that I said I would always be.
Speaker 2: And I don't want to bring in the annoyances of
Speaker 2: the day, like if I was irritated at work, I
Speaker 2: don't want to bring that through the door, or if
Speaker 2: something's been bugging me, I don't want to burden my
Speaker 2: family with that. And I've been thinking about that since
Speaker 2: he told me about it, and I love it, and
Speaker 2: I really tried to embody it. I was away in
Speaker 2: the Gold Coast this weekend, so as I got through
Speaker 2: the door on Sunday, tired from the flight, but on
Speaker 2: the inn the car on the way home, I was thinking,
Speaker 2: you know what, I want to burst through this door.
Speaker 2: I want to give that energy to Gordy. I want
Speaker 2: to see that reflected back in his face. I want
Speaker 2: to give that to Bianca. And I don't know. It's
Speaker 2: just something that really valuable that I took away with
Speaker 2: me from what my friend said. And it's an intention
Speaker 2: that I'm trying to set every day when I see him,
Speaker 2: whether he's coming home from daycare, I'm coming home from work.
Speaker 2: And the first instance of coming through the door and
Speaker 2: the intention you set and the moment that you're making
Speaker 2: with them.
Speaker 1: How can I use that today when I see my
Speaker 1: seventeen year old daughter when she comes home from school.
Speaker 1: I think that's a lovely thing because so much a
Speaker 1: parent and advice in it. It's all around the doing,
Speaker 1: the tactics, and that you actually forget most important by
Speaker 1: is how do you want to be? Yes, And there's
Speaker 1: a choice how you want to be before you are
Speaker 1: about the doing. They pick up more from just how
Speaker 1: you are. Your energy way more important than because you
Speaker 1: can be spending time with them. But if you're distracted
Speaker 1: or angry about some conversation happen to work and you're
Speaker 1: still fantasizing if you have said that or that would
Speaker 1: have happened, they pick up on.
Speaker 2: That's this conversation started because we were talking about how
Speaker 2: much our kids are just always perceptive of us and
Speaker 2: how much they pick up that we're on the phone
Speaker 2: a lot because you just got to reply reply in
Speaker 2: an email and that's what they've seen all the time.
Speaker 2: Is yeah, that you're really paying attention to the phone
Speaker 2: and not to them. So on the car on the
Speaker 2: way home today, before you get home, if you have
Speaker 2: kids or whoever you spend your time with at home,
Speaker 2: have a think in the car, in that second space,
Speaker 2: how you want to show up at home and have
Speaker 2: that think of what you want your intent to be
Speaker 2: and come through the door like that.
Speaker 1: That is beautiful, mate. As much as you know the one,
Speaker 1: it's the most important job in the world to be
Speaker 1: someone's parent. It is. It's as the most choice one
Speaker 1: as well, But it's a journey of you learning as
Speaker 1: much as you teach that thing. I've learned my biggest
Speaker 1: learning points in life have all come through being a dad.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that. I thought it was all in
Speaker 1: the teaching how you meant to show the medicine. You
Speaker 1: learn way more about life yourself, the areas where you
Speaker 1: need to unlearn and let go as well. The biggest
Speaker 1: changes I've seen since knowing you eight or nine years
Speaker 1: have been since you've been a dad.
Speaker 2: They are little yodas. Yeah, teach you so much.
Speaker 1: They're the biggest mayors you ever find. I have something
Speaker 1: for you. So yesterday I went back and I listened
Speaker 1: again to that amazing poem you wrote when You're about
Speaker 1: to become a dad. Yeah, it's a beautiful poem Jack
Speaker 1: wrote right on the It was a couple of days
Speaker 1: before you left the show to go on paternity leave
Speaker 1: about what you wanted to become becoming a dad, and
Speaker 1: I wanted you to have a listen back to it.
Speaker 1: We've also put some of the lovely stories that you've
Speaker 1: shared on the show because one of the many great
Speaker 1: things about doing what we do is this is a
Speaker 1: kind of diary or a journal at times that we
Speaker 1: speak out loud. Sometimes when you hear it, Bauck, you cringe,
Speaker 1: but other times you hear what you were going through
Speaker 1: at the time. So we put some of the stories
Speaker 1: that you've shared the last two years, Jackiet Boy, and
Speaker 1: you've really have shown up being a dad, and I
Speaker 1: look forward to seeing how the journey goes as you
Speaker 1: walk along your side, walk along young Gordy's side over
Speaker 1: the next couple years.
Speaker 2: Mate.
Speaker 1: But having listened to this, I think you really I
Speaker 1: think you've really done what you set out to do.
Speaker 1: It's been amazing to see anyway, having listened to this.
Speaker 2: It's my first time being a dad, it's your first
Speaker 2: time being alive. You can ride up on my shoulders.
Speaker 2: I can see the world through your eyes. My son
Speaker 2: walked for the first time, catching bugs, building sand castles,
Speaker 2: jumping in puddles and skipping stones. Know that from now
Speaker 2: until forever, you'll never be alone. You didn't prepare me
Speaker 2: for what it would be like to drop him off
Speaker 2: at daycare for the first time.
Speaker 1: It was so hard.
Speaker 2: I just can't tell you how hard wrenching it is.
Speaker 2: Make jokes, make music, make mischief, live your life with joy.
Speaker 2: I think this could be his first word. What's this? Apple? Apple?
Speaker 2: Harbor big dreams for your future, but take time to
Speaker 2: be a boy. We had an impromptu jam session after
Speaker 2: dinner for about half an hour. We just listened to
Speaker 2: the whole album and jammed for every song. I will
Speaker 2: honestly cherish these moments. They're so special. Start things before
Speaker 2: you feel ready. Jump before you see the landing, life
Speaker 2: will open doors for those already standing. Mm Ha's got
Speaker 2: my twenty month old son Gordon with her this morning.
Speaker 2: She just sent us this text. We're on our way
Speaker 2: to the museum and Jack's voice just came on the radio.
Speaker 2: Gordy said, Dad, without any prompting, So cute.
Speaker 1: How did that make you feel?
Speaker 2: It's actually surprised me how much they caught me off. God,
Speaker 2: my chest is filled with love. You'll take from books
Speaker 2: and art and music and people, anything that strikes a note.
Speaker 2: Take the parts you like of me, leave the ones
Speaker 2: you don't. This year for me, being a dad has
Speaker 2: really clicked. Him Being the number one priority doesn't feel
Speaker 2: like something I have to push against or force. It
Speaker 2: just is, and I'm so thankful for that. Just the
Speaker 2: joy and the love that he brings to us is
Speaker 2: all though I need. And with an open heart and
Speaker 2: a curious mind, soak up everything you can. Oh my God.
Speaker 2: If I could have told myself two years ago that
Speaker 2: my most anticipated concert of the year would be The
Speaker 2: Wiggles at Rod Laver Arena, I wouldn't have believed you.
Speaker 2: And even if I don't watch a minute on stage,
Speaker 2: and I just spent the whole time looking at him
Speaker 2: and seeing his reaction. Find your own definition of what
Speaker 2: it means to be a man. Congratulations mate, Thank you, mate,
Speaker 2: thank you. This is the Christian o'commel Show podcast