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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers now.

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Speaker 2: But what I noticed during Isolation in particular, was just

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Speaker 2: how much my body craved that slower pace and how

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Speaker 2: much happier we were as a family as we just

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Speaker 2: were more intentional about creating that space to do so.

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Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum

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Speaker 1: and dad.

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Speaker 3: Well it's only been a couple of months, but gee,

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Speaker 3: it's been fun the Happy Families podcast with missus Happy

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Speaker 3: Families joining me as my co host.

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Speaker 4: I'm doctor Justin Colson.

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Speaker 3: By the way, It's been so much fun getting to

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Speaker 3: know you in a totally different way, Kylie.

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Speaker 2: It's been a steep learning curve for me, that's for sure,

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Speaker 2: but I've loved every minute of it.

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Speaker 3: Well, the feedback keeps coming through thick and fast. We're

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Speaker 3: getting reviews and ratings consistently at Apple Podcasts or wherever

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Speaker 3: people listen to their podcasts, and we appreciate that so much.

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Speaker 3: But I wanted to just pick up on something that

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Speaker 3: we mentioned the other day. We were talking about the

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Speaker 3: Christmas Ninjas, and I'm we're going to put on the

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Speaker 3: Facebook page today we got a photo from Laura, who

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Speaker 3: was the Christmas Ninja, the Ninja Brownie deliverer, and it's

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Speaker 3: so clever what she's done. She just said, Justin and Kylie,

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Speaker 3: I want to thank you both for the podcast. I

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Speaker 3: love the practical solutions, honesty and openness you share with

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Speaker 3: us listeners. Your podcast is my go to pick me

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Speaker 3: up for both work and personal inspiration, which was so awesome.

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Speaker 3: But that episode that we did one seventy six, everyone's

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Speaker 3: gotten so on board with that whole teaching you kids

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Speaker 3: how to love giving episode, and Laura sent through a

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Speaker 3: picture of her kids doing some Ninja Brownie deliveries and

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Speaker 3: it's so beautifully presented. She's got the sugar in the

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Speaker 3: bottom and the cocoa, and then there's some other white

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Speaker 3: stuff I don't know what that is, fowl flower, and

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Speaker 3: then there's the chocolate chips, and so you can tell

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Speaker 3: who does the cooking in this house. So we're going

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Speaker 3: to put that up on the Facebook page because I

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Speaker 3: think it's just fabulous and we love getting the kind

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Speaker 3: words that come through. Now missus Happy Families, our last

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Speaker 3: podcast episode.

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Speaker 4: For the year.

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Speaker 3: We're going to take some time off and be with

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Speaker 3: our family. But every time we do a podcast on

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Speaker 3: a Friday, we normally call it I'll do Better Tomorrow,

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Speaker 3: because it's a chance for us to evaluate what went

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Speaker 3: on during the week.

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Speaker 4: It's a chance for us to.

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Speaker 3: Review how we can be better as parents, what our

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Speaker 3: insights and learnings are, how can be more mindful? And

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Speaker 3: this time, well, we're going to do how we can

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Speaker 3: do better next year. I'll do Better next year is

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Speaker 3: today's podcast episode. And you've been doing some thinking about

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Speaker 3: how you can do better next year, which I find

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Speaker 3: very hard to believe.

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Speaker 4: Frankly, you're too kind.

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Speaker 2: Twenty twenty has been this crazy year for so many

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Speaker 2: of us, but it's given me some time to really

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Speaker 2: think about, you know, the things that are really important

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Speaker 2: to me specifically, and how I want to incorporate that

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Speaker 2: learning internet next year. And I think the thing that

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Speaker 2: stands out to me the most is intention. I recognize

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Speaker 2: that as parents we are really intentional about a lot

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Speaker 2: of the things we do, but there's some things that

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Speaker 2: I feel I could be more intentional.

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Speaker 4: Really.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So I have three things that I want to

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Speaker 2: be more intentional about next year.

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Speaker 4: Okay, is screen is one of them?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 4: Come on, if I was writing my list for you,

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Speaker 4: I'd put screens on them. I'm just saying, I'm just saying.

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Speaker 2: Well, it's not on there. I'm just telling you.

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Speaker 4: So.

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Speaker 2: The first thing is I want to be more intentional

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Speaker 2: about slowing the pace of our lives down. And I

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Speaker 2: know when I say that, people who know us are

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Speaker 2: kind of looking at you know us, going, you've got

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Speaker 2: six children and life is full, like, how do you

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Speaker 2: think you're going to do this? But what I noticed

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Speaker 2: during isolation in particular, was just how much my body

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Speaker 2: craved that slower pace and how much happier we were

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Speaker 2: as a family as we just we're more intentional about

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Speaker 2: creating that space to do so. So I don't really

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Speaker 2: know at this point how I'm going to.

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Speaker 4: Do it, well that was my next question, but I

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Speaker 4: do know that.

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Speaker 2: It's really important, and it's made a huge difference to

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Speaker 2: how the rest of the year's gone. As we've gone

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Speaker 2: back into kind of some kind of normalcy. I have

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Speaker 2: noticed that, you know, things are speeding up a lot faster,

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Speaker 2: but I have also tried to kind of just where

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Speaker 2: I can pull things back and go, you know what,

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Speaker 2: that's actually not that important. We don't need to do

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Speaker 2: that and part of that actually has come about with

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Speaker 2: our every night watching a Christmas movie that has really

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Speaker 2: slowed down our evenings, which I've loved.

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Speaker 3: I think that's a really nice idea, and I recalled

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Speaker 3: during isolation, everybody was saying that they liked the slower pace,

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Speaker 3: that they loved the fact that their families weren't so busy,

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Speaker 3: and everyone was making these commitments we're not going to

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Speaker 3: speed back up again once we're allowed to live our lives.

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Speaker 3: And yet, at least here in Australia, where we are

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Speaker 3: pretty much allowed to live our lives now, everybody sped

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Speaker 3: back up. So it'll be interesting to see how we

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Speaker 3: can put a plan together for I'm looking forward to

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Speaker 3: our quarterly immersion every for those of you who are

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Speaker 3: not familiar, every three months, Kylie.

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Speaker 4: And I disappeared for two nights.

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Speaker 3: We get somebody to watch the kids and we have

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Speaker 3: two nights where we go and set plan. Yeah, we

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Speaker 3: set with intention our next twelve weeks, the next term,

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Speaker 3: the next quarter, and we do that because we know

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Speaker 3: how important it is to get that intention right. Okay, well,

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Speaker 3: you know one of the ways that I want to

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Speaker 3: do better tomorrow. One of my key learnings from this

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Speaker 3: year is that there's always too much to do. So

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Speaker 3: it's kind of aligned with what you're saying, but I

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Speaker 3: had this insight. I thought that everything was going to

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Speaker 3: slow down with COVID, But for me, while I wasn't traveling,

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Speaker 3: I think that I was busier this year from a

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Speaker 3: work point of view than I've ever been before. We've

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Speaker 3: launched a membership, We've done so many things within the business,

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Speaker 3: We've hired new people. There's so much going on in

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Speaker 3: Happy Families as a business that and there is so

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Speaker 3: much to do in twenty twenty one. You know, as

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Speaker 3: we've looked at the calendar for what we've got planned

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Speaker 3: for next year, are.

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Speaker 2: You going to undo my plans? Flowing down nom and all?

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Speaker 3: This?

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Speaker 4: So much to do.

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Speaker 3: But the point here is there's always so much to do.

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Speaker 3: And my learning from this is because there is always

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Speaker 3: so much to do, there's in fact, not just so much,

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Speaker 3: there's always too much to do. What that means is

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Speaker 3: that I need to stop and focus on the stuff

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Speaker 3: that must be done, because some things are more important

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Speaker 3: than others. There's that analogy, that story that's been around

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Speaker 3: for years and years and years and years about the

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Speaker 3: manager from Coca Coal. I think it was giving a

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Speaker 3: talk and he's talking about how in life we're juggling

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Speaker 3: all of these balls all the time, our family, our work,

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Speaker 3: all of these other commitments. We're just juggling and juggling

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Speaker 3: and juggling. But some of the balls that we're juggling.

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Speaker 4: A rubber while others are glass.

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Speaker 3: And it's really important while we're juggling that if we're

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Speaker 3: going to drop a ball, that we don't drop the

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Speaker 3: glass balls. Things like family, things like our values, things

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Speaker 3: like you know, the stuff that's at the very core

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Speaker 3: of who we are.

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Speaker 4: We can drop the other stuff. It will bounce back.

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Speaker 3: It might take a while to regather it and find

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Speaker 3: it and start juggling it again, but we'll get that back.

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Speaker 3: There's always a juggle going on. There's always too much

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Speaker 3: to do, but we need to make sure we keep

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Speaker 3: the right balls in the air. So that's one of

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Speaker 3: my big learnings for this year. COVID has taught me

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Speaker 3: that we need to be intentional. It's pretty much the

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Speaker 3: same as you. I'm just framing it differently. Let's come

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Speaker 3: back in a second talk about it. Maybe a couple

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Speaker 3: of others.

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Speaker 1: It's their happy Families.

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Speaker 5: Podcast for a happier family, Try a Happy Families membership,

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Speaker 5: because a happy family doesn't just happen. Details at happy

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Speaker 5: families dot com dot au.

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Speaker 2: It's a Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time

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Speaker 2: poor parent. And today we're talking about how we want

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Speaker 2: to be more intentional for twenty twenty one.

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Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I'll do better next year, and so far

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Speaker 3: intention has kind of been the central theme, Kylie.

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Speaker 2: This year feels so long away when you say it

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Speaker 2: like that.

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Speaker 3: Next year is like a couple of weeks, and where

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Speaker 3: they are is amazing.

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Speaker 4: So intention was your number one? What's your other big learning?

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Speaker 3: I mean, this is less about setting goals for the

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Speaker 3: new year and more about saying I've learnt something that

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Speaker 3: I think is valuable and I want to be able

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Speaker 3: to carry that into our lives moving forward.

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Speaker 4: What would your other one be?

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Speaker 2: Taking time out for me to fill my cup.

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Speaker 4: Oh so you're talking about more me time and less

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Speaker 4: weak time.

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Speaker 2: It's a bit like that. But no, I you know,

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Speaker 2: I think sometimes as mums we feel like we kind

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Speaker 2: of have to you know, be the martyr be you know,

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Speaker 2: in our efforts to be the best that we can be.

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Speaker 2: We kind of forget that who we are and what

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Speaker 2: makes us tick. And obviously we've done some podcasts, we've

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Speaker 2: talked about this a little bit, this idea of me

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Speaker 2: time versus we time, and but what I learned through

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Speaker 2: isolation was that in order for me to bring my

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Speaker 2: best self to the table, I need to find ways

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Speaker 2: that I can be creative in my space that enable

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Speaker 2: me to feel joy and purpose outside of my role

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Speaker 2: as a mum, because that's only one of my roles,

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Speaker 2: and that as I do that, that I find joy

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Speaker 2: in being able to spend time with everybody through the process.

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Speaker 2: So next year, I want to really be intentional about

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Speaker 2: the things that I do that fill my cup, that

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Speaker 2: enable me to bring my best self to the table

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Speaker 2: when I come.

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Speaker 3: So I'm very excited for you to be doing something

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Speaker 3: next year. Kylie has just enrolled in school. Kylie's going

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Speaker 3: to go back to school next year, which hopefully we'll

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Speaker 3: fill your cup but not empty house, because because Kylie

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Speaker 3: is going to become a florist.

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Speaker 2: Kylie, well, I'm not going to become a florist, but

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Speaker 2: I'm going to learn the art of floristry. That's probably

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Speaker 2: a better way of saying it.

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Speaker 4: It's so excited for you.

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Speaker 2: I'm very, very excited about it.

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Speaker 3: And whenever you've got school, let's say it's on a Wednesday,

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Speaker 3: I'll be looking after dinner that night. Oh I love

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Speaker 3: the idea of that we'll be having takeaway every Wednesday. Well,

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Speaker 3: I think the only other thing that I was going

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Speaker 3: to mention is.

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Speaker 4: Everybody else. One of the big learnings.

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Speaker 3: That I had this year is that everybody else always

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Speaker 3: looks like they've got it together.

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Speaker 4: And to me, that's a big.

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Speaker 3: Learning because we usually I know, it's kind of that

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Speaker 3: whole Instagram thing, right, we're watching everybody's highlights real and

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Speaker 3: we're living the challenging parts of life that nobody ever

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Speaker 3: gets to see. But it's more. I think what I've

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Speaker 3: seen is that if everybody else does look like they've

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Speaker 3: got it together, you probably look like you've got it

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Speaker 3: together as well, which means that you probably do.

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Speaker 4: And as I've thought about what.

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Speaker 3: We've been doing as a family this year, you know,

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Speaker 3: some of the conversations that we've had with our kids,

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Speaker 3: I want to have more of those conversations. You know,

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Speaker 3: if we're going to talk about what I want to

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Speaker 3: I'll do better next year.

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Speaker 4: I'll do better tomorrow. This theme.

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Speaker 3: Some of the conversations we've had with our kids this

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Speaker 3: year have made me think, I think we're doing okay

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Speaker 3: with this parenting thing. There's some ups and downs. There's

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Speaker 3: some bits that I wish we could redo. There's some

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Speaker 3: bits that I wish would never have happened, and some

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Speaker 3: of them are really challenging, even for the parenting expert

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Speaker 3: that's written the books. And yet when I sit down

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Speaker 3: and have these conversations with the kids, my heart is

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Speaker 3: just so full of gratitude for the great people that

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Speaker 3: they're becoming. And if I'm feeling that, I know that

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Speaker 3: the people who are jumping into our Happy Families membership

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Speaker 3: and the people who are engaging with us on Facebook,

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Speaker 3: and even you, if you listen to the podcast.

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Speaker 4: You're doing better than you think.

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Speaker 3: And to other people who are watching you, they're shaking

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Speaker 3: their heads and going, oh, man, I wish I could

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Speaker 3: be as good as them as a parent. And the

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Speaker 3: more people I've talked to, the more people I've watched,

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Speaker 3: the more I've considered that this year, the more that

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Speaker 3: stood out to me. So that's kind of a learning

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Speaker 3: take the time to have the conversations with the kids

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Speaker 3: build the relationships, and every now and again just pause.

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Speaker 3: And you know, when you're climbing a mountain, you feel

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Speaker 3: like you're not getting anywhere because you keep looking at

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Speaker 3: the top of the mountain, thinking I'm never going to

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Speaker 3: get there. I've been hiking for an hour to hours

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Speaker 3: and the top is still that far away.

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Speaker 4: And then you turn around and you look.

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Speaker 3: At the view across the valley and you realize that

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Speaker 3: you've come a long way, and I reckon, there's parents.

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Speaker 3: We need to do that more in twenty twenty one.

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Speaker 2: Well that fits them beautifully.

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Speaker 3: With my last thinking, really, so just a quick heads up.

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Speaker 3: We haven't orchestrated this at all. There's been no planning

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Speaker 3: around this. I had no idea what you were going.

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Speaker 4: To say, So what's your what's your last one?

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Speaker 2: I just wanted to be more intentional about our family

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Speaker 2: togetherness because this year, like you said, we've had some

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Speaker 2: really beautiful moments where we've slowed the pace down. I've

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Speaker 2: had a little bit of time out and been able

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Speaker 2: to come back to the table, and we've had conversations

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Speaker 2: with our kids that have just blown my mind in

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Speaker 2: how they have interpreted or seen the way we do

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Speaker 2: family life and been so grateful for their insights that

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Speaker 2: helped me kind of just recognize that maybe we are

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Speaker 2: doing all right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, without overdisclosing, one of the kids recently said

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Speaker 3: to us, I really love how things working out family.

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Speaker 3: I look at all my friends and they all fight

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Speaker 3: with their parents all the time, but I really like

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Speaker 3: how we don't fight in our family. So that's that's

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Speaker 3: kind of what you're getting at, right, Yeah, yeah, I

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Speaker 3: love that. Well. The future is uncertain. Who knows what

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Speaker 3: twenty twenty one is going to bring, but may it

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Speaker 3: for you bring the most wonderful celebrations, plenty of opportunities

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Speaker 3: to be with your family, to make your family happier

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Speaker 3: and much stronger relationships and bonds. As always, we hope

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Speaker 3: that you've enjoyed the Happy Families podcast.

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Speaker 4: We've had such a delightful time talking with you.

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Speaker 3: We'll be back in mid January to continue the podcast

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Speaker 3: and bring some light and life and love into your

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Speaker 3: and your family's lives. In the meantime, If you do

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Speaker 3: enjoy the podcast, hey, Christmas is the perfect time you're

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Speaker 3: slowing down. You've got the opportunity now to jump onto

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Speaker 3: Apple Podcasts. Leave us a rating, and reviews so that

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Speaker 3: next year more people can find the show and make

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Speaker 3: their families happier. We'd be so grateful if you'd do that.

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Speaker 3: A merry Christmas to you have a wonderful new year.

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Speaker 3: A big thank you to Justin rule On from Bridge

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Speaker 3: Media for his role in producing the podcast and making

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Speaker 3: it sound as.

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Speaker 4: Good as it does.

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Speaker 3: We're also so appreciative to a new friend and a

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Speaker 3: wonderful executive producer, Craig Bruce, for the great work that

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Speaker 3: he's done in coaching us and helping us to figure

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Speaker 3: out how we can say the stuff we want to

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Speaker 3: say so that we can help you with your time

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Speaker 3: poor parenting while still giving you really important answers. It's

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Speaker 3: been a privilege to work with you, Craig, and if

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Speaker 3: you'd like more information, as always about how we can

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Speaker 3: help your family to be happier, you can find all

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Speaker 3: the information you need at Happy families dot com dot au.