Speaker 1: People do some weird shit.
Speaker 2: Would you like to try vape?
Speaker 1: Why would you take up something that is going to
Speaker 1: be addictive and expensive?
Speaker 2: I think that people.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you're young and stupid, some things make more
Speaker 3: sense than others.
Speaker 2: You mentioned that your goal was to be healthy, and
Speaker 2: I just don't know. How can you figure that's going
Speaker 2: to happen when you're ordering a chocolate moose?
Speaker 1: No, you know, I had it in the car on
Speaker 1: the way home and I didn't have a spoon, so
Speaker 1: I was like an hour a dillo trying to get
Speaker 1: ants out of a hole. Bless yourself for the rude
Speaker 1: shocks of young adultsthood, Bean fingered as an awful sensation.
Speaker 2: You cann't been thinking about the right person.
Speaker 1: Goodness, may is just I'm still to play a couple
Speaker 1: of mitches.
Speaker 4: Hi, it's Jenna.
Speaker 1: Please don't forget to include my name in the opener
Speaker 1: this season. Sorry? Now he is Mitch Julie and Mitchell
Speaker 1: Koob Episode ninety eight, It's a Day Tullo Mitchel Cove.
Speaker 2: Hello, Darling, and welcome to Christian Harlow. I guess this
Speaker 2: is a.
Speaker 1: Date with Christian Team.
Speaker 4: Can I just say you are so radio like it's
Speaker 4: a podcast. It's ten past seven Checking the Roads now
Speaker 4: with Tras.
Speaker 1: No, it's because we come off the back of an
Speaker 1: opener and I've made it this stalky, stupid thing Christian
Speaker 1: where I say the number of the episode, then a
Speaker 1: dumb rhyme, So ninety eight it's a date with Christian Health.
Speaker 1: Once you hear it, you'll go he's a genius. You'll
Speaker 1: hear it. Well, I this is great. Thank you for
Speaker 1: being here. Mitch. Are you friends with Christian? You know
Speaker 1: him well than I do. I'm just a fan from Afar. Well.
Speaker 2: Christian and I do go way back because when I
Speaker 2: was a little media student just moved to Sydney, my
Speaker 2: teacher put me in touch with a successful alumni, and
Speaker 2: that with you, Christian, because you were pretty much doing
Speaker 2: the exact job I wanted.
Speaker 4: Bottom of the barrel.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, there weren't really many other people doing digital
Speaker 2: and social media stuff in radio because it wasn't really
Speaker 2: a job at the time.
Speaker 4: I mean still sort of not really.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's a bit of a random job. But yeah,
Speaker 2: I remember my teacher put me in touch with you,
Speaker 2: and we had the most profession and earnest catch up.
Speaker 2: I thought, oh my god, this guy is so polished.
Speaker 2: Then you started posting your own videos and I was like, ah,
Speaker 2: so this is the real Christian Hull when he's not
Speaker 2: on his best behavior mentoring young students. Here's a fucking
Speaker 2: gronk like me. It was bat, Did I give.
Speaker 4: You good advice? Or did I tell you to run
Speaker 4: for the hill?
Speaker 1: Totally?
Speaker 2: You gave me really good advice. At first you were
Speaker 2: like super encouraging, but then after a while you were
Speaker 2: like get out.
Speaker 1: It was all li it was alight. I was joking,
Speaker 1: please leave. Well, I guess that's all we have in common.
Speaker 1: We're all sort of radio nerds. I'm still stuck in there.
Speaker 1: I'm tethered down. It's all I can do. I'm still
Speaker 1: a broadcast of thinking that people listen to me at
Speaker 1: night when I have to get my boyfriend to call
Speaker 1: every night, to be a fake caller. But that's the point.
Speaker 4: Even in Breakfast, I was getting friends in family to
Speaker 4: be callers.
Speaker 1: Well, how long did you work in radio, Christian? How long? Like?
Speaker 1: All up?
Speaker 4: What was your stint in commercial radio?
Speaker 1: Nine years?
Speaker 4: And then I did community radio for five years before that,
Speaker 4: so it was like fourteen fifteen years in in the
Speaker 4: radio bubble, and I loved it, like, I had a
Speaker 4: really great time, and it taught me everything that I'm
Speaker 4: able to use for my social channels and how to
Speaker 4: talk to an audience today. But Jesus, in the end,
Speaker 4: you sort of get fourteen years in and go, Really,
Speaker 4: my pay has only gone up. Yeah, five thousand dollars
Speaker 4: when I first started.
Speaker 2: You lasted fourteen years. I lasted four darlins. So you're
Speaker 2: you're more tenacious than me.
Speaker 4: Jee, that's a long time.
Speaker 1: It's a long time.
Speaker 4: Yeah, But you went straight in. You were like straight
Speaker 4: to the top. Your job was right in the thick
Speaker 4: of it. I spent quite a number of years trying
Speaker 4: to get into the thick of it. And you can
Speaker 4: only last like four years. Where you are? I don't know, Mitch,
Speaker 4: because how long have you been in radio?
Speaker 1: I've been in radio seven. I've done seven. But the
Speaker 1: first two was like was street team, and you're not
Speaker 1: in content, so there's not the pressure. It's fine, you
Speaker 1: can make Kansas cug. I was still straight, so I
Speaker 1: had no sort of existential drand sitting on the shoulders.
Speaker 1: So I was loving it. But seven's long, and.
Speaker 2: How does that make you feel when a Christian says
Speaker 2: things like radio is dying. That's literally the titles of
Speaker 2: one of his podcast episodes right now. I haven't heard that.
Speaker 1: I haven't heard that one, but Christian Kettle elaborate on
Speaker 1: how radio is dying?
Speaker 4: Really Yeah, no, Like I'm so cynical, Like I went
Speaker 4: through radio and I cheered me up, spit me out,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, like I've come out a bitter human being.
Speaker 1: But look for me.
Speaker 4: I just think when I was younger, I listened to
Speaker 4: Kyle and Jackie. Oh, and that carried through. You know,
Speaker 4: my formative years were with you know, ugly Phil and Jackie.
Speaker 4: Then it was Kyle and Jackie and I am obsessed
Speaker 4: with them because that's who I grew up listening to.
Speaker 4: And so they're still on air, like my god, but
Speaker 4: they're the last of their breed. The same with Jones
Speaker 4: and Amanda, like they are the last ones when they go,
Speaker 4: I'm going to be really interested to see what happens,
Speaker 4: because you can have amazing talent like Jason p J.
Speaker 4: But your audience, Like in my day, back in March,
Speaker 4: I am thirty five, you didn't have much choice. You
Speaker 4: had radio and you had morning television and the newspaper.
Speaker 4: Now you've got everyone has a social platform, everyone has
Speaker 4: a podcast, everyone, yeah, multiple, and so there's so much choice,
Speaker 4: so the market is so much wider. So radio really
Speaker 4: has to offer something unique. And radio at the crucial
Speaker 4: time when social media was coming in, it didn't didn't adapt.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it had, it had a windows, yeah, and.
Speaker 4: It had a window to jump on things early, and
Speaker 4: it didn't. You know, I saw, you know, all the
Speaker 4: radio networks could have jumped on podcasting a lot sooner,
Speaker 4: but they did it, and they waited for other people
Speaker 4: to explore them and make them big, and then they
Speaker 4: were like, we're doing podcasting, Well, you should have been
Speaker 4: doing it six years prior. They had the opportunity to
Speaker 4: build a real, broader entertainment brand versus just radio. It's
Speaker 4: funny because now that I've left SCA, I get like
Speaker 4: kiss where you guys work, Like, pay me a lot
Speaker 4: of money to do sponsor stuff for you guys.
Speaker 1: On our radio session? Is that me with a beer?
Speaker 1: Have they photoshopped a beat on me on the Instra
Speaker 1: story flogging a two milk? No, that's Christian hard, I'll
Speaker 1: get it.
Speaker 2: Have you ever seen Christian in real life, I think
Speaker 2: far from as far.
Speaker 1: Maybe one's Christian. Yeah, Marti Gras, was it Mardi Gras?
Speaker 1: I think it was Marti Gras. You were broadcasting, yes,
Speaker 1: broadcasting live from Martigra, Yeah, I was.
Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of people, Mitch expect you
Speaker 2: to look like Christian in real life because he is
Speaker 2: like tiny. The first time I actually saw you in
Speaker 2: real life, Christian, I was like, holy shit, you are
Speaker 2: so sure.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm one sixty nine centimes. I'm tiny, I'm whatever
Speaker 4: that is.
Speaker 1: Five.
Speaker 2: I can't do the I don't even know what I am.
Speaker 1: It's too much, it's too confusing, you know, It's funny. Christian.
Speaker 1: My cousin I was at a wedding on the weekend
Speaker 1: and she was very pissed, but she was like, I
Speaker 1: love Christian and what he's done with the schools, and
Speaker 1: I sent my kids to Catholic schools and what if
Speaker 1: they're gay. Loves everything you've been doing, and was like,
Speaker 1: you know, I think you, as in me and Mitchell Coombs,
Speaker 1: are a hybrid of you, like you kind of have,
Speaker 1: but yeah, you've got like the loudness and the lovability,
Speaker 1: the cute cheeks of me.
Speaker 4: And then the cynicism and well, yeahs oh my god,
Speaker 4: that is so I've got Mitchell Coombs's countiness. And then occasionally,
Speaker 4: very occasionally, yeah your joy, yeah, very rarely, my old
Speaker 4: cumsy old bit of CUMSI.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's me.
Speaker 2: Do you know what, I'm pretty sure I've actually before Christian.
Speaker 2: But I like fully, I fully take credit for any
Speaker 2: success you've had, because I remember many years ago, before
Speaker 2: you started making videos and stuff, there was an interview
Speaker 2: you did and they said what inspired you to start
Speaker 2: making videos? And it was like, oh, I saw Mitchell
Speaker 2: Coombs made this bog and Gate video and I thought
Speaker 2: I need to get up off my arm and start
Speaker 2: making videos too. So that's nice, but it's a little
Speaker 2: bit annoying that you've completely fucking eclipsed me in terms
Speaker 2: of success. But hey, you'd be nothing without me, don't forget.
Speaker 1: I don't think so.
Speaker 4: No, I'd absolutely be in a gutt of somewhere with
Speaker 4: that of their old bogan Gate video that was so
Speaker 4: good though, Like, wasn't that just.
Speaker 1: That bogen Gate video?
Speaker 4: People still claim the annoying do you get because you're
Speaker 4: like that was so long ago? Like I get a
Speaker 4: lot of Trish because I played a charact called Trish
Speaker 4: and that's sort of how I shot into the spotlight.
Speaker 1: Was playing a mum with a Christian. Was that the
Speaker 1: blonde wig? Yeah, with the blonde wig. I don't.
Speaker 4: I don't do that anymore. And everyone's like, when's Trish
Speaker 4: coming back?
Speaker 2: That's what I was about to ask, because I haven't
Speaker 2: seen Trish for ages. When was the last time. How
Speaker 2: long has it been since Trish passed away?
Speaker 4: God, I don't know, it's been a lot, it's been
Speaker 4: a while. I'm just sort of done with it, like
Speaker 4: I've exploited Trish in every possible facet that there's nothing
Speaker 4: more to do, and it just looks like I'm trying
Speaker 4: to go back to the glory days.
Speaker 2: Yeah. People have said that to me, you need to
Speaker 2: do a follow up to the bog and Gate video,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I fucking showed you ever. I do
Speaker 2: the tiny town.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's all there is. I'm sure the tea towels
Speaker 4: have been updated. There's probably a new design with.
Speaker 1: Your face on them.
Speaker 2: The craft shops closed, the one they're one business. There
Speaker 2: were too many old ladies dying off.
Speaker 1: You could do like a fuck a fucked getaway, Mitch.
Speaker 1: You could just go to fuck towns and give tours
Speaker 1: of disgusting towns in Australia. You could two of them.
Speaker 2: I'd feel a bit bad slagging off other towns. I
Speaker 2: can bag my own you and visit some town and
Speaker 2: be like, this is disgusting, this is shit.
Speaker 1: Here I am in Woollongong, low lives. Are you from
Speaker 1: woo from the Shire? Close enough and you're calling out
Speaker 1: woolen Gong.
Speaker 4: You're from the Shire and you're calling Woolengong as cesspool?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Look, you're way more than your X radio career. You're very,
Speaker 1: very very prominent online. People love you when we posted
Speaker 1: that we were having you on the show, very excited
Speaker 1: And do you have anch? I believe you prepared one?
Speaker 1: Is that right? You know what an is? Do we
Speaker 1: need to explain the basis of the show.
Speaker 4: I feel like you should, just in case there's anyone
Speaker 4: near listening.
Speaker 1: If it is your first time listening. We start the
Speaker 1: show the same way every week, with something you've noticed,
Speaker 1: something you hate or appreciate that an is it just me?
Speaker 1: Or an? I gym? I bring one, Mitch brings one,
Speaker 1: and neither of us know what we're about to say, but.
Speaker 2: And Christian's brought one. I also don't know what he's
Speaker 2: about to say.
Speaker 4: So we're a one and I'm really passionate. Really who starts?
Speaker 2: We let Christian go first? It seems like it's passionate
Speaker 2: about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're ready to go first? Yep, all right, so
Speaker 1: we'll can't you win our vio go? Bradley will tee
Speaker 1: you up and then go straight go for it, all right, Bradley,
Speaker 1: is it just me?
Speaker 4: Do you also hate dog owners? Get the bit fucking hate?
Speaker 4: I hate dog people. I hate people that own dogs.
Speaker 4: I love well, No, I don't love dogs.
Speaker 1: I just don't. Do you guys own dogs? No? No, No,
Speaker 1: I've got a cat.
Speaker 2: She's just like not far from me in the house.
Speaker 2: I'm such a cat person because she's a lot like
Speaker 2: me in energy, where she's like get out of my face.
Speaker 2: We don't really speak to each other.
Speaker 1: I just I live in a really.
Speaker 4: Uppity area in Brisbane and there's a trend going around,
Speaker 4: Oh my dog's friendly and they don't put it on
Speaker 4: a lead.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm just like fuck, Like it's so annoying.
Speaker 4: And then they're like, oh, he's so well behaved like, oh,
Speaker 4: he's friendly. He's a friendly dog. Oh he's so friendly.
Speaker 4: I'm like, it's not about your dog. The other dogs
Speaker 4: are on a lead because they're not friendly, and now
Speaker 4: your dog is just freely walking up to another dog.
Speaker 4: Oh no, I can't believe you've got a tagg it's vicious,
Speaker 4: Like put your fucking dog on a lead. I was
Speaker 4: walking the other day and there was a couple behind
Speaker 4: me and they were like awfully training there, like it
Speaker 4: was like a kelpie and you know, like it's like
Speaker 4: a cattle dog.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Like I'm in the middle of the city. To give
Speaker 4: you an idea, I live in something. It's like Paddington
Speaker 4: or wool of a Louis. Lots of streets and hills
Speaker 4: and it's narrow, and I'm like, you want your dog
Speaker 4: to run, like run free, Like where's it gonna go?
Speaker 4: It can go ten meters and then there's a road.
Speaker 4: It's not like, Oh, I don't want to restrict my
Speaker 4: dog on the lead. I'm like, it can't fucking go anywhere.
Speaker 4: And they were constantly being like Scout, Scout, sit heel
Speaker 4: by my side, by my side. No, yes, no, I
Speaker 4: just put it on a lead. Or let it run
Speaker 4: onto the road and die.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I said Christian. I was brought this up and
Speaker 1: have been equally as impassioned on the show before about
Speaker 1: extendo leads and how they're the bane of my existence.
Speaker 1: Those at tractable, they're retractable leads. They just go for
Speaker 1: my They're worse than no leads. Could you get tangled
Speaker 1: in the legs and then they wrap your thigh and
Speaker 1: the dog runs through and weaves around different owners. It's
Speaker 1: a mess. I can't stand them.
Speaker 4: It's the worst, and like this whole My dog is friendly, Oh,
Speaker 4: piss off?
Speaker 1: How do you know?
Speaker 4: Like Ted Bundy was friendly? Do you think Ted Bundy's
Speaker 4: mother was like, oh, he's ferocious. No, she thought her
Speaker 4: son was friendly. He murdered twenty four women. He was
Speaker 4: not friendly, Like you know.
Speaker 1: Oh everyone's friendly until they attack, right, everyone is friendly.
Speaker 2: It's also not about whether they're friendly or not, because
Speaker 2: when they're off the lead and the dogs like come
Speaker 2: up to you and they like putting their nose up
Speaker 2: in your business, It's like, I don't care how friendly
Speaker 2: you are. I just don't want you to touch me,
Speaker 2: Like I just don't want to be involved.
Speaker 1: No, they're gross.
Speaker 4: And smelly, and I'm just and then there's one and
Speaker 4: it's this beautiful giant wolfhout in. It looks fucking terrifying.
Speaker 4: But like of all accounts, he lives in the local area.
Speaker 4: He's quite a friendly ish dog. But when his owner
Speaker 4: goes into the Woolworths, the dog is so enormous, sits
Speaker 4: right in front of the automatic doors and you can't
Speaker 4: get in or ound. And it's also because there's young kids.
Speaker 4: The kids are terrified and I just like, I understand
Speaker 4: that your dog is this big, beautiful, friendly giant, but
Speaker 4: these children can't leave the fucking store with their mother
Speaker 4: because this dog is sitting in the way and they're
Speaker 4: screaming and crying what are you doing?
Speaker 1: And you can't rationalize with dog owners too, because it's
Speaker 1: the baby. No, you can't at all.
Speaker 4: They change, They become like, I don't know what it
Speaker 4: is like, they allow filth into their home. It's discussing
Speaker 4: the dog smells. It's like sitting on you and they're like, oh,
Speaker 4: isn't it so cute. I'm like, get it off me.
Speaker 4: You haven't clipped its clippers. It's paws and now it's sharp.
Speaker 4: I just I just not I just hate people.
Speaker 2: I've sensed that, But what about even dog people who
Speaker 2: don't own dogs? Like if I'm out with friends and
Speaker 2: i can't walk more than like ten minutes about my
Speaker 2: friend just going oh hi baby and just bonding as
Speaker 2: a random's dog, I'm like, no, ignore Phoebe, my good
Speaker 2: my good friend and content producer Phoebe is the most
Speaker 2: obsessive dog person. And we'll go every time there's a dog,
Speaker 2: and it's like you can't have a conversation with her, and.
Speaker 4: Just she has to be excuse me, can I pat
Speaker 4: your dog?
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh yeah, yeah, Oh my god, I've got
Speaker 2: so many friends like that time I don't have time.
Speaker 2: And so are you a cat person or just not
Speaker 2: a pet person?
Speaker 1: No, I'm a nothing person.
Speaker 4: I may like plants are the only things that I
Speaker 4: can handle that are living.
Speaker 1: So you two just hate joy any sort of form
Speaker 1: of love joy? No?
Speaker 4: What Like dogs are cute, don't get me wrong, so
Speaker 4: cute and I'll be like, oh, it's such a cute dog,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, I am done, get it away from me.
Speaker 4: Like it's annoying, it's got a shit somewhere, it's pissing everyone.
Speaker 4: I'm like, no, same as children.
Speaker 2: Really, I mean I say that I hate people and
Speaker 2: I hate leaving the house, but when you say it,
Speaker 2: I can't actually tell if you're kidding, because I feel
Speaker 2: like it's completely true.
Speaker 4: No, I genuinely it's taken me a while.
Speaker 1: Like I always thought people like.
Speaker 4: You'll find the one, you'll have a relationship, and I
Speaker 4: was like, yeah, maybe I will. I mean, I'm thirty
Speaker 4: five and I just don't want. I don't I don't
Speaker 4: like sleeping in the same bed with someone. I don't
Speaker 4: want to make a compromise on dinner. I like, you know,
Speaker 4: being nude and not being judged around the house. I
Speaker 4: like shit everywhere, Like I live my best life alone.
Speaker 4: And then when people like if I want to go
Speaker 4: out for dinner, oh god alone. Oh it's just really
Speaker 4: I really like it sounds like a real narcissistic thing
Speaker 4: to say, just love my own company. Just there's no responsibility,
Speaker 4: there's no pressure. You don't have to like, oh I'm
Speaker 4: running five late, or you know, got to do this,
Speaker 4: got to do that.
Speaker 1: It's just like, just do whatever.
Speaker 2: And so does your mom do what my mom does
Speaker 2: where she's always kind of pressuring you. When are we
Speaker 2: going to meet your special someone and it'll happen one day.
Speaker 1: No, my parents have Actually, I think.
Speaker 4: Your parents have always known that I'm just a grumpy asshole.
Speaker 4: Well you've got your sister and brother. Yeah, exactly that
Speaker 4: they can go to. And they still a bit like
Speaker 4: are they still doing this on They tap their watch
Speaker 4: and look at you.
Speaker 2: Oh, definitely. And every time I say it's not gonna happen.
Speaker 2: I don't want kids, Mom's like, you never know, and
Speaker 2: I'm pretty it can't happen by accident? Can it?
Speaker 1: Like not for you?
Speaker 4: No? No, it's a bit tricky.
Speaker 2: And so you've never been in a relationship, right, No, No,
Speaker 2: I just have three minute hookups from grinder.
Speaker 1: And it's I remember hearing I think it was on
Speaker 1: God when m Rosciano did Breakfast, when you were on
Speaker 1: You're doing a segment, and I remember you saying it
Speaker 1: stuck with me. You had a separate room, a spare
Speaker 1: room in your house that you would exclusively use four
Speaker 1: hook cups. So you had your main bedroom you would
Speaker 1: never fucking there, but the spare guest room was your
Speaker 1: fucking room. Is that true? Do you still do it?
Speaker 1: It's true?
Speaker 4: Yeah, because my bedroom is gross. It's just messy. And
Speaker 4: so I just have a guest room that's always made up,
Speaker 4: that looks super clean that I'm like, oh, look how clean.
Speaker 4: Name is a human and it's my sex room and
Speaker 4: a lot of people know that now, so friends just
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't have any friends, and they also
Speaker 4: never want to come and stay. So it's fantastic because like, oh,
Speaker 4: we don't particularly want to stay in your sex room.
Speaker 4: I'm like, win if.
Speaker 2: People are ever in Brisbane, Like, for example, hypothetically, if
Speaker 2: I'm in Brisbane and I say to you, hey, you
Speaker 2: want to catch up, are you secretly in the back
Speaker 2: of your mind thinking.
Speaker 1: Cancel, canceled.
Speaker 2: Fuck No, I'd rather not.
Speaker 1: Like, look, it's not.
Speaker 4: Just you, it would be everyone, like everyone, I'm just
Speaker 4: like just people.
Speaker 1: But it's so like I find it so.
Speaker 4: Draining, like you know, having it go somewhere here socially
Speaker 4: catch up. It's all the weird, awkward small talk that
Speaker 4: like I'm like, I don't you know unless you've got
Speaker 4: some real juicy gossip and you're willing to hear some
Speaker 4: juicy stories like I don't particularly want to catch up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like it could have been a voice message, whatever
Speaker 2: you have to say it like it could.
Speaker 4: Have just been Instagram Instagram messages and then that's that's it.
Speaker 2: And I feel like a lot of people find it
Speaker 2: surprising when people like you, who are so you know,
Speaker 2: loud and out there and such a performer, they find
Speaker 2: out that you're an introvert, because would you say you're
Speaker 2: an intra many.
Speaker 4: H yes, very much so just really so. My brother
Speaker 4: defined extravert an introvert because I was like, well, my
Speaker 4: mother is the extrovert and I'm so loud in your face,
Speaker 4: but he said, an extrovert gets energy from socializing and
Speaker 4: an introvert expels energy from socializing. And I was like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, I'm an introvert because I hate socializing
Speaker 4: because it makes me so exhaust it's so exhausting. And
Speaker 4: there's just a moment where I'll be at a party
Speaker 4: or even at my brother's wedding, like I was really
Speaker 4: thankful I was the MC and I had a job
Speaker 4: to do because it if I didn't, I would have
Speaker 4: been like I need to leave, like this, I just
Speaker 4: can't handle this because it was just it was a
Speaker 4: great wedding, but it's just so much like every family
Speaker 4: member and it was great to see everyone, but it
Speaker 4: was It's just so overwhelming.
Speaker 1: That is the perfect tie in to my age. If
Speaker 1: you don't mind, I can mine is very topical. Sure
Speaker 1: right now? Do you mind if I leap in? But
Speaker 1: I'm sure wants it? But okay, Bradley, tease up. Figure out.
Speaker 2: To me.
Speaker 1: Would you wish people stop fucking asking you to MC
Speaker 1: their weddings the vein of my existence. Just because I
Speaker 1: talk for a living doesn't mean I want to talk
Speaker 1: at your fucking wedding. I don't want to get up
Speaker 1: and introduce speeches from your family. That is work for me.
Speaker 1: That's what I do for a living. You wouldn't go
Speaker 1: to a baker. Oh can you make dinner rolls for
Speaker 1: my wedding? My family would love it. If you're friends
Speaker 1: with a butcher, you wouldn't go. Can you provide the
Speaker 1: steak for my wedding? It is so stupid and backwards,
Speaker 1: And from this point on, I'm not going to feel
Speaker 1: guilty for saying no when my friends asked me to
Speaker 1: em see their wedding.
Speaker 2: So did you m see your sister's wedding that it
Speaker 2: has had?
Speaker 1: Yes? I am on Saturday.
Speaker 4: Family is different though, Yes, because everyone it's a lot easier,
Speaker 4: and you're performing to an audience of people that you
Speaker 4: know and love you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's it's kind of fun.
Speaker 4: It's still a lot of work, but the amount of
Speaker 4: I hate confrontation. And I've had some close friends say
Speaker 4: we'd love to offer you the role of MC, and
Speaker 4: I've been like, can I just come and enjoy the wedding?
Speaker 1: That's exactly my point I had. This is true. The
Speaker 1: only wedding I've been to as a non MC, I
Speaker 1: was an infant, I was like three, I was a
Speaker 1: page boy, and I still was on the fucking clock.
Speaker 1: I haven't checked out and relaxed and enjoyed a wedding
Speaker 1: my entire life. And the worst part is is when
Speaker 1: they they make it like, you know, when you offer
Speaker 1: someone to be a bridesmaid, you're made of honor and
Speaker 1: they get a little bow and they get the little
Speaker 1: satin NiTi and they get a little champagne glass. Will
Speaker 1: you be my maid of honor? And I've had someone
Speaker 1: do that for MC. I'm like, this isn't You're not
Speaker 1: bestowing this upon me. This is a pain.
Speaker 2: Like it's an opportunity.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like it's an opportunity. Add it to LinkedIn you
Speaker 1: mc rochelle's wedding. I'm like, I don't want to mc rachelle's.
Speaker 1: Do people ask you all the time?
Speaker 4: CHRISTI yeah, more, yes they do. And it's always really
Speaker 4: close friends. If you have some random to ask and
Speaker 4: I'm just like, oh, I don't know.
Speaker 2: You send them how much that would cost you? Like
Speaker 2: your day? Right? They go again about.
Speaker 4: It, email Millie and she'll reply with, you know, twenty
Speaker 4: five thousand dollars per hour. But yeah, when it's close friends,
Speaker 4: it's just and you have to be like, I'm so sorry,
Speaker 4: but no, no, no, thank you.
Speaker 2: Surely your close friends know you well enough to not
Speaker 2: even bother asking, like they know how you're wiring.
Speaker 4: You'd really hope so, but you would have been asked
Speaker 4: like both of you would have been asked heaps of times.
Speaker 4: I reckon, yeah, have you done it before?
Speaker 2: I've done it twice. They were both family members though,
Speaker 2: and so I didn't mind. But then and they were
Speaker 2: like the first weddings I remembered going to. Yeah, so
Speaker 2: I thought, yeah, these are what weddings are. And then
Speaker 2: I had my first non mc wedding. I had no
Speaker 2: job to do nothing, and I was like, oh, this
Speaker 2: is what weddings are. Yeah, a fricking party.
Speaker 1: I was blind, free, piss up, free food, drunk, aunties, heaven.
Speaker 1: When you're a guest at a wedding.
Speaker 4: When you're and when you're the MC, everyone comes to you. Oh,
Speaker 4: this is running lake, this has happening. I don't.
Speaker 1: I literally say, here's.
Speaker 4: Some speeches, welcome a couple, here's some cake, and you
Speaker 4: have everyone coming to you with their issues. I'm like,
Speaker 4: I'm not a wedding planner.
Speaker 1: My sister came to me and was like, we're running,
Speaker 1: like we have to cut. We have to cut the cake.
Speaker 1: We have to cut the cutting of the cake. Wait
Speaker 1: to be cutting the cake or we cutting the cutting
Speaker 1: of the cake. She's like, we got to cut the cake.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what the fuck do you? And we're all
Speaker 1: yelling and then come on, Eileen's playing and this is
Speaker 1: too much. My uncle's like, you did a great job,
Speaker 1: great speech, but I don't give a shit like your
Speaker 1: thing guggle right, It's just weddings are chaos. Wedding So
Speaker 1: why this has.
Speaker 2: Been the most bitter episode we've ever done.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: It's really it's setting my heart on fire.
Speaker 1: I love this bit. This is Mitch's This is Mitch's
Speaker 1: dream dream episode. I love like Christian, would you Elope?
Speaker 1: Because my partner Hayden and I have thought were like, fuck,
Speaker 1: the money my sister spent on a wedding is nut.
Speaker 1: You could buy a property with it. I'm like, I'd
Speaker 1: rather Elope with my boyfriend.
Speaker 4: Eloping is like if someone goes, oh we got married,
Speaker 4: we eloped, I'm like, that is fantastic.
Speaker 1: One.
Speaker 4: As much as I like, I know, I'm just like,
Speaker 4: I don't want to MC, I'd rather go to the wedding.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't even go to the wedding. Great, there's a
Speaker 4: wedding I don't have to go to. And also, unlike
Speaker 4: that money you're saving, you can now afford to put
Speaker 4: on a house deposit because house prices in today's day
Speaker 4: and age are fucking stupid.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, this actually flows in quite nicely to mine.
Speaker 2: Is it just me that I've just thought of as well?
Speaker 2: Bradley hit it?
Speaker 1: Oh look, you think we're all broadcast professional stupid? Is
Speaker 1: it just me?
Speaker 2: Is one of the worst parts about going to a
Speaker 2: wedding having to get dressed up in formal clothes that
Speaker 2: are uncomfortable as fuck. There's no such thing as comfany
Speaker 2: formal wear a suit.
Speaker 1: No, I disagree. I am most comfortable, and I'm a
Speaker 1: big boy, I'm a chunky boy. I am most comfortable
Speaker 1: in a suit. A dummas.
Speaker 4: I would never have guessed that, because, like for a
Speaker 4: fatty like me, suits are the most uncomfortable, unflattering, horrible feeling.
Speaker 4: And I know you would have both had to wear
Speaker 4: them a lot because you've got to put on a
Speaker 4: suit for all these radio functions and awards nights, and
Speaker 4: it's awful.
Speaker 1: It's sweaty and gross and uncomfortable. Really No, I like
Speaker 1: it because it cinches me in. I feel so protected,
Speaker 1: like I'm in a little cocoon like. I love the
Speaker 1: bow tie hides the neck. I love the white shirt,
Speaker 1: and the jacket hides the tits.
Speaker 2: Well. See, I like a bit of movement in my outfits.
Speaker 2: If I'm wearing a suit jacket, I can't put my
Speaker 2: hands up and dance like a little.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah right right.
Speaker 4: I can understand it from a hiding perspective, because a
Speaker 4: blazer like it makes you look smarter, and it draws
Speaker 4: this V line in so it makes you a bit
Speaker 4: because it's all fitted. It makes you look a bit
Speaker 4: fit your shape, but it's so uncomfortable and as soon
Speaker 4: as you take the like sort of blazer top off,
Speaker 4: everything's hanging out. The buttons are so tight and they're
Speaker 4: like you look like a pressed hand. I just like
Speaker 4: it's just the worst.
Speaker 1: Oh, I love it. I've invested in a good pair
Speaker 1: of Nancy Dance. I had to do something for the
Speaker 1: Arias last year, and I.
Speaker 2: Like, you know, spanks, like the stuff that sucks you in.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think I think Nancy Dans is a name
Speaker 1: of a woman who has her own life. I love
Speaker 1: the Nancy Gans. Yeah, she's very I love Nancy Comfortable.
Speaker 2: Though, absolutely.
Speaker 1: Ah so I think I like punctured the kidney, but
Speaker 1: I look so slim.
Speaker 2: Christen, this has come up on the podcast before. One time.
Speaker 2: My egen was is it just me or does Nancy
Speaker 2: Gance deserve to be shot? Which is like those things
Speaker 2: are fuck?
Speaker 1: Why would you be wearing Nancy Gance, idiot? You're a rake?
Speaker 1: Because a rake.
Speaker 2: We did our podcast photo shoot the week we came
Speaker 2: out of lockdown, so no, we were three months. I
Speaker 2: was like, oh, I'm not feeling great.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, thirteen kilos later. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she
Speaker 4: game thirteen over since so I have just gotten back
Speaker 4: into like this real fitness routine and I logged back
Speaker 4: into my Fitness Pal. It had my starting weight when
Speaker 4: I joined it back in early twenty twenty, which was
Speaker 4: thirteen kilos lighter, and then I was like, oh, I
Speaker 4: actually signed up in twoy thirteen, so I was like,
Speaker 4: what was my starting weight then? So I'm I'm currently
Speaker 4: one hundred and fourteen in twenty thirteen, I was eighty kilos.
Speaker 1: Like, oh my god, that's like blow away in the breeze.
Speaker 1: Like I put, You're also a kid, You're a child? No,
Speaker 1: I was like mid twenty twenty thirteen.
Speaker 2: We were children.
Speaker 1: We were sorry, yeah, I've got it wrong. I was
Speaker 1: a kid. We were Josh born.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Now I was like ten years out of high
Speaker 4: school at that point. You were like we were you, Devin, you.
Speaker 3: Should follow these idiots online. Search a couple of mitches
Speaker 3: you're listening to.
Speaker 1: Is it just me? Yes? This is it just me?
Speaker 1: We're he was Christian Hall. By the way, if you
Speaker 1: want to see Christian alive in Melbourne, Sydney or Perth,
Speaker 1: head to more Talent Dot com dot. Are you to
Speaker 1: get your tickets? You go it on tour? Christian?
Speaker 4: Oh God, I love you. Yes, I am. I'm very
Speaker 4: excited that the world is starting to open up again
Speaker 4: and I can go and see people.
Speaker 2: Do you do meet and greets? So how do you
Speaker 2: cope with that? If you hate people.
Speaker 4: Or they're paying, it's different when they pay. When they pay,
Speaker 4: they can have all the time in the world. But yeah,
Speaker 4: usually I'll try to meet people. Covids put a big
Speaker 4: squash on it because a lot of venues don't want that,
Speaker 4: and also it can be a lot of It's a
Speaker 4: bit of a risk at the moment. So I haven't
Speaker 4: been doing it and loving the fact that I don't have.
Speaker 2: To do it. Is it true that you didn't, like
Speaker 2: you weren't really keen to do stand up shows? A
Speaker 2: kind of pushed in.
Speaker 4: I was forced into it, My management forced me into it,
Speaker 4: and then I hated every moment of it. Did four shows.
Speaker 4: I was like, never doing that again, and then they
Speaker 4: paid me and I was like, sorry, Oh that's how
Speaker 4: much I made.
Speaker 1: I will absolutely do more.
Speaker 2: Oh so you actually hated doing the shows as well?
Speaker 2: Because I was pretty similar, Like I wasn't that Keen.
Speaker 2: I was kind of pushed into it, and I was like,
Speaker 2: I could easily hate.
Speaker 1: What did you hate it?
Speaker 2: I actually loved doing it in the end good good.
Speaker 4: I hated. I didn't think it was funny. I thought
Speaker 4: it was really awkward. I just didn't. I didn't like
Speaker 4: the fact that, like, I'm really people needed to be
Speaker 4: laughing for the exit, like ha, for the full hour.
Speaker 4: Otherwise I was like, I'm bombing. And you get used
Speaker 4: to that, and I now appreciate the sight at moments
Speaker 4: because you need those where you can you know, it's
Speaker 4: not that they're not interested if they're not laughing, it's
Speaker 4: just that you've got to build that story up to
Speaker 4: get to that sort of punchline. But it was so
Speaker 4: daunting and really terrifying, and so I was like, well,
Speaker 4: I pushed through a national tour because I was like, well,
Speaker 4: I mean, the pay is insane, so I'll just push
Speaker 4: through it. And then, like driving a car, you do
Speaker 4: it over and over and over and you're like, oh,
Speaker 4: I'm really happy with the show that I've got. Now
Speaker 4: I've tweaked it. You know what normal comedians do is
Speaker 4: do the test shows and sort of work.
Speaker 2: How would you cope doing something like an open mic
Speaker 2: night where the people there don't.
Speaker 1: Know you, so you test your material out on paying fans. Yeah.
Speaker 4: So the very first and second shows are my test shows,
Speaker 4: and then I sort of work it from there and
Speaker 4: by the time I'm finished, I'm like great. By the
Speaker 4: thirtieth time, I'm like this is a great show. Congratulations
Speaker 4: to those who came to the very last show. Well
Speaker 4: there you go, guys, go and see Christian on the
Speaker 4: maybe fourth fIF because I've done this show. I did
Speaker 4: this show about forty times last year, so this is
Speaker 4: the same show that I'm touring.
Speaker 1: Ah yeah, all right, recycling material more talent dot com
Speaker 1: dot you go, go and see Christian live. That's good,
Speaker 1: let's do it. Is it just you, Christian? So this
Speaker 1: is when we get someone to write in or they
Speaker 1: send us a voice note on our Instagram and we
Speaker 1: we just critique them. We answer their question today. This
Speaker 1: one's from Corey, and Corey says, is it just me?
Speaker 1: Or do you not understand the auto function? He says, like,
Speaker 1: I've never used it. I don't want to start. It
Speaker 1: scares me and I don't trust it to do their job.
Speaker 1: He's talking about like auto you know when you get
Speaker 1: in your car and you do auto air con you
Speaker 1: do auto in the microwave, or you do auto on
Speaker 1: what any sort of tech function that has ordered.
Speaker 4: I'm the same. I don't use auto when I do
Speaker 4: auto air conditioning in my car, drive fans car. It's
Speaker 4: like it just I'm like, how does it? What is it?
Speaker 4: It doesn't stop, it doesn't feel like like I'm really
Speaker 4: trying to get eighteen degrees as soon as possible.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't want that.
Speaker 2: I'm like Corey, I don't trust anything that says auto.
Speaker 2: I'm like, nah, I want to be in control.
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe that's our personality types. You want to be
Speaker 1: in control of everything.
Speaker 4: What about if there was a machine that was auto
Speaker 4: filatio would you trust that? Would you put your dick
Speaker 4: in it?
Speaker 2: Absolutely?
Speaker 1: God?
Speaker 4: I would every time?
Speaker 1: Do you have a flesh like Christian? Sorry?
Speaker 4: I used to, and now I get sent a lot
Speaker 4: of them because I did a TikTok and now people
Speaker 4: send me like ones with like water jets and air compressors.
Speaker 1: Oh, I've got a partner, so I have a real
Speaker 1: I guess a real line of flesh like that's not needed.
Speaker 1: But I have always even like seventeen and eighteen, but
Speaker 1: I lived at home. That stopped me from ordering one.
Speaker 1: But I'd love the sensation of trying, and I think
Speaker 1: it'd be so fun. Yeah. Yeah, it gets a bit old,
Speaker 1: that's it. Yeah, I can't believe it.
Speaker 2: It's referred to Hayden as your real flesh.
Speaker 1: I would know it's a beautiful person. What he is real?
Speaker 1: Once you see him, we go, oh yeah, that's the
Speaker 1: walking first lion. Well, I well know. I all right,
Speaker 1: Thank you, Corey. That was a great Is it just you?
Speaker 2: Now? When we put on our Facebook group Christian that
Speaker 2: you were coming on the podcast, one of our listeners said, oh,
Speaker 2: you need to get Christian to do one of your
Speaker 2: sound of Silence calls. There's an opener for this. Let's
Speaker 2: get into it.
Speaker 3: Love silence.
Speaker 2: So how sound of Silence works? Call someone and then
Speaker 2: when they answered the phone, you have a little bit
Speaker 2: of a chat. And then once they ask you a question,
Speaker 2: it might.
Speaker 1: Be oh, so what did you call for? What do
Speaker 1: you need?
Speaker 2: Something like that. As soon as they ask a question,
Speaker 2: you just don't answer it and see how long they
Speaker 2: stay on the line waiting for you to answer it.
Speaker 2: And then you're only allowed to speak once to try
Speaker 2: and extend the.
Speaker 1: Silence one bridge phrase.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you might say something like yeah I'm still here
Speaker 2: or oh yeah just a sec and then you just
Speaker 2: got to see how long that silence.
Speaker 4: So ready, I'm so excited for this.
Speaker 2: It picked you to be someone who hates something like this.
Speaker 2: To be honest, the only.
Speaker 4: Reason I'm so excited for this is because I know
Speaker 4: I'm going to do really well. Because my content producer, Phoebe,
Speaker 4: I could literally be like just one second and she
Speaker 4: will hold on the phone for half an hour. Just wait,
Speaker 4: your employee, no, because yeah, a little bit, because your
Speaker 4: boss you pay.
Speaker 1: Me this idea.
Speaker 4: And I was like, absolutely not, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 4: And the only person I'm going to do it with
Speaker 4: is Phoebe because one, I know she won't get offended,
Speaker 4: and two, I will absolutely nail this challenge. She talks
Speaker 4: and asks a lot of questions, So this could go.
Speaker 4: This could go one of two ways.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, I'm pretty sure the record is like two
Speaker 2: minutes twelve or something around the two minute mark when
Speaker 2: Nap Panhalt did it, So I actually going to beat
Speaker 2: that one. If she spent the time reckon that, you'll
Speaker 2: produce the phoebe. This is gonna like wait until you're
Speaker 2: ready to talk.
Speaker 1: Here we go, all right?
Speaker 2: Ring?
Speaker 1: Who? Hello?
Speaker 2: Oh Hi?
Speaker 4: Sorry, I just wanted to ask, did you before I
Speaker 4: go to this appointment, did you have any questions for me?
Speaker 1: Because I'm just gonna be gone a while.
Speaker 2: Man, huh.
Speaker 4: Are you still there?
Speaker 1: Yeah? One second? Sorry?
Speaker 2: What is going on?
Speaker 1: So sorry? So sorry?
Speaker 4: I just I just wanted to check because I'm going
Speaker 4: offline for a little bit. Did you did you need
Speaker 4: anything from me?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: I'm okay, not all good?
Speaker 1: Right, I'm I'm only going off fine for.
Speaker 4: Dont work with the whip at one thirty? What is
Speaker 4: going on?
Speaker 2: Are you using me and saying weird things?
Speaker 4: What is going on? So sorry, I'm just stuck in something.
Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, hold on?
Speaker 2: Kay?
Speaker 4: Is that it?
Speaker 2: You can tell her if you want? You beat the record?
Speaker 1: You beat the record. You've won.
Speaker 2: I mean you're kind of cheated. Yeah, you were speaking
Speaker 2: more than once, but whatever, we'll claim any won.
Speaker 1: It's Christian hell, he can take Hi.
Speaker 4: Yes, sorry, I'm playing a game and I just had
Speaker 4: to keep you on the phone, and there had to
Speaker 4: be a lot of awkward silences, and we won.
Speaker 2: A team.
Speaker 4: I'll buy you one small coffee thanks for.
Speaker 2: A couple of Mitch said hi, A couple of Mitch
Speaker 2: said hi.
Speaker 3: Yah.
Speaker 4: She knows and loves who you are, so she's going
Speaker 4: to be mortified.
Speaker 1: But I'll talk to you soon.
Speaker 4: I'm actually not going on fine, but I'll talk you
Speaker 4: a minute. Blah blah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's go.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, can you play the promo, which is
Speaker 4: a couple of Mitches say hi, Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I love that. That is too perfect on many levels.
Speaker 1: All right, guys, Christian, hell you can go and see
Speaker 1: him live. Like we said, you're a superstar. We love
Speaker 1: you so much.
Speaker 4: Thank you for being here, Thank you so much for
Speaker 4: having me.
Speaker 1: I'll talk to you soon.
Speaker 2: Love Yeah. Also, you can check out our Christian's podcast,
Speaker 2: where he yeah, pretty much just abandons every rule he
Speaker 2: learned in radio about you know, keeping it tight, getting
Speaker 2: to the point quickly. It's called complete driven.
Speaker 4: Although I did think in the middle of that, I'm like, well,
Speaker 4: people are currently listening to two and a half minutes
Speaker 4: of silence on your podcast.
Speaker 1: So love Yeah, thanks for coming on. We'll talk sooner,
Speaker 1: right right.
Speaker 2: I know what you're thinking. If you're a loyal listener,
Speaker 2: I fucked up. I fucked up. I made a grave
Speaker 2: error and forgot to ask Christian the same question that
Speaker 2: we ask every guest, which is, what is something that
Speaker 2: you believe is better than drugs and dick? Because you know,
Speaker 2: we like to remind you that there's more to life
Speaker 2: than partying and boys. So we ask every single one
Speaker 2: of our guests to tell us a little thing in
Speaker 2: life they appreciate. So Angela Bishop said her waterbed is
Speaker 2: better than drugs in Dick. Jess my boy said being
Speaker 2: barefoot in the garden. And as soon as I realized
Speaker 2: my error that I forgot to ask Christian, I did
Speaker 2: hit him up and asked him to send a voice
Speaker 2: message with his answer. So I was going to open
Speaker 2: the email he's attached it. Their subject line is drugs
Speaker 2: and Dick. Well, my line of work is so weird. Okay,
Speaker 2: here we go.
Speaker 4: Great question, because to be honest, nothing is better than dick. Like,
Speaker 4: there's nothing I knew he was going to suck and
Speaker 4: I the only drugs I've ever done well, No, I've done, no,
Speaker 4: I did. Yeah, I won't go. Yeah, there's no need
Speaker 4: to share with you what drugs I did.
Speaker 2: Well for me?
Speaker 1: I'm thirty five.
Speaker 4: Remember this in my answer gardening beautiful. I moved from
Speaker 4: Melbourne to Brisbane, and Melbourne I killed everything I ever
Speaker 4: tried to grow because Melbourne sucks. But Brisbane plenty of sunshine,
Speaker 4: plenty of rain my garden. So it's just it's the
Speaker 4: garden of Eden. Like it's so beautiful and it's so
Speaker 4: therapeutic to garden, and I absolutely love it. And sometimes
Speaker 4: I like putting dick in my mouth in my garden,
Speaker 4: so you know, it just makes things a bit more fun.
Speaker 4: And everyone asks me if Carra Milk's better than dick. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: if you put Karen Milk on a dick, Holy sweet Jesus,
Speaker 4: it's amazing.
Speaker 2: There we go. I fixed my error. So now back
Speaker 2: to the podcast, where were we butt me's this hung
Speaker 2: up with them?
Speaker 1: But he just he put his finger up at us too.
Speaker 1: Did you see that? He went fuck him?
Speaker 2: Now if we want that, we would not that I would.
Speaker 1: He is so he's so genuine, he's so sweet.
Speaker 2: I should never do what he does. Or he does
Speaker 2: a solo podcast.
Speaker 1: What's it called mindless drivel? No, complete, drible, complete drivell.
Speaker 1: I've got friends that love it. I've got family, and
Speaker 1: I listened.
Speaker 2: To it a lot as well. It's like, it's amazing
Speaker 2: how he can just be sitting there doing nothing and
Speaker 2: it's so fascinating.
Speaker 1: Well, that's what Hayden loves to put like old episodes
Speaker 1: of Friends on, and he watches old series of drag
Speaker 1: Race just to kill the time and have something playing.
Speaker 1: And you kind of pick up twenty percent of it.
Speaker 1: So maybe that's what it's perfect.
Speaker 2: You know you've actually because there's so much silence in
Speaker 2: his podcast, it's like you'd just be like, all right, now,
Speaker 2: hang on, all right, like the sort of thing that
Speaker 2: you'd usually edit out. Like it actually makes me lean
Speaker 2: in a bit further. I'm like, oh, what's he doing.
Speaker 1: We'll go and have a listen.
Speaker 2: And he goes on so many tangents. It's great really.
Speaker 1: Unlike this show. We're professionally titan, right, it's not us. Also,
Speaker 1: I love I love that. Who like that is perfect?
Speaker 2: I know I do. That's already in next a scene,
Speaker 2: hopeing already.
Speaker 1: Sensational stuff out of Christian All right, well let's go
Speaker 1: before we go there, guys, you have me hours left
Speaker 1: to shop our feb fits merch range. It's it's closing
Speaker 1: at midnight.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so this episode comes out literally a day before
Speaker 2: our feb Fits Merchant or Clothes. So if you're listening
Speaker 2: to this in March, sorry you missed out. No merch
Speaker 2: for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, or if you're listening in thirty years time, the
Speaker 1: merch was so big Kanye West brought us out. So
Speaker 1: it's in your teams. Yeah, it's in there. What's the
Speaker 1: one in Sinney Maritime Museum.
Speaker 2: They've actually got Madame to Thord's wearing wax versions of
Speaker 2: our merchant as well.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So the merchan is available right now. If you're
Speaker 1: listening live, go and go and grab some and don't
Speaker 1: forget to get the blue pop socket that is ours
Speaker 1: Sun for the day, Everyone for the day. Why am
Speaker 1: I pretending we're live on the air.
Speaker 2: I know?
Speaker 1: All right, Well, thanks for listening and we will see
Speaker 1: you guys next week.
Speaker 2: Don't forget it for coming on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Christians a superstar, leave us a five star review.
Speaker 1: You can do it on Spotify now. I was on
Speaker 1: Spotify the other day and.
Speaker 2: Leave a rating. On Spotify they don't let you write words,
Speaker 2: but you can leave a five star rating.
Speaker 1: Well, you can word us up on Apple podcast. It
Speaker 1: keeps us going. And thank you to Apple. I'm sure
Speaker 1: Tim Cook is listening. Featuring us in the gay section.
Speaker 2: The Mardi Gras. They featured us on the Mardi Gras homepage. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts, And when you're browsing, we were under the
Speaker 2: heading Louder than Ever, I'm like, yeah, that sounds bad, right.
Speaker 1: Maybe there's an issue with the levels on the show
Speaker 1: and they could hear one of us before, but we
Speaker 1: are loud of it. Ever, we're very gay, So.
Speaker 2: I love how as louder than ever as though we
Speaker 2: were once quiet.
Speaker 1: But god, they fucking nowadays.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they can't shut up them up exactly.
Speaker 1: All right, we'll see you next week. Thank you for listening. Everyone,
Speaker 1: We love you.
Speaker 3: Is it just me a podcast by a couple of
Speaker 3: Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.
Speaker 2: Welcome to add brief. This is our secret segment on
Speaker 2: the end, So we pretend that we're done and then
Speaker 2: we keep chatting away. Nothing's planned or structured in this bit,
Speaker 2: so we trick you. Yeah, welcome talk shit. Essentially, you've
Speaker 2: been tricked.
Speaker 1: Do you think there's anyone listening now that's new?
Speaker 3: This?
Speaker 1: God, what I've just discovering it.
Speaker 2: Oh, sometimes people do. But other people say to me,
Speaker 2: do you really expect people to believe you when you
Speaker 2: wrap up the show because you can see quite clearly
Speaker 2: on your phone that there's like twenty minutes left. But
Speaker 2: I'm like, I never look at podcasts and go how
Speaker 2: long is left? As soon as they say we're done,
Speaker 2: I go all right, same, so like I reckon there,
Speaker 2: we could trick people easily. Also, I sometimes cut podcasts
Speaker 2: up at their wrap. I don't want to listen to
Speaker 2: their fucking rap, and all they.
Speaker 1: Say is follow us, see us next week, thanks for listening,
Speaker 1: you know, Tops and tails. I will cut it off
Speaker 1: if I know they've still got five minutes left and
Speaker 1: they're going to wrap by bar.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they actually do send you that data. It shows
Speaker 2: you when people drop off and stop listening. And for
Speaker 2: trash Ally Me other podcast, it's whenever we go all right,
Speaker 2: well it's been another great week, thanks for listening. People
Speaker 2: start to trickle off there because they're like whatever they're
Speaker 2: wrapping up, But for this podcast, I think people are
Speaker 2: figured it out because they stick around to the very
Speaker 2: very end because they're like, what are they going to
Speaker 2: say in the secret segment.
Speaker 1: It's a genius marketing by us, A genius way TSL
Speaker 1: time spent listener.
Speaker 2: No, it's not genius because I genuinely don't want people to.
Speaker 1: Hear this true. This is the worst part.
Speaker 2: Can't you do with you're told and stop listening? People?
Speaker 1: Fuck if you haven't got your merch share, I mean, god, guys,
Speaker 1: a little plug you might miss out. And this is
Speaker 1: our best yet.
Speaker 2: I do love it. I've got plenty hanging in mid wardrobe,
Speaker 2: but I need to buy some myself actually, because I've
Speaker 2: got like the mocks, Yeah, the samples.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Hayden's wearing the sample to bed. The singler's ashamed
Speaker 1: to wear that out in public.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a bit rude because it's a freebie black shirt.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe if he paid for it to be different.
Speaker 1: Now he's wearing the tidye too. He could wear that
Speaker 1: to the gym. It's perfect for the gym.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't wear it to the gym, No, I wouldn't
Speaker 2: want to get that all sweaty and yuck.
Speaker 1: I know, you know Hayden, he loves to stand out
Speaker 1: out and proud in the Ti Diye. I thought that's
Speaker 1: what you meant. I don't want to stand out of
Speaker 1: the gym.
Speaker 2: No, but like that material gym no.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And also you know when you sweat and you
Speaker 1: need a T shirt to mop it up if.
Speaker 2: You I don't use the shirt, but yeah, no.
Speaker 1: Have you ever won like a singer and you can
Speaker 1: feel the sweat dripping like it's not being collected anyway. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's the worst. That's what. I could never go to
Speaker 1: the gym in something like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the only downside of all the oversized shirts
Speaker 2: they wear because I don't really cling to your arm,
Speaker 2: then they're meant to be bagging and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: I can feel the sweat.
Speaker 1: Well, isn't that funny that my agym, your origin Christians
Speaker 1: gym all float on from each other.
Speaker 2: I know. Well that was not what I was originally
Speaker 2: going to use as my agent, but then I thought
Speaker 2: of it as we were talking, and I was like, right,
Speaker 2: this is going to work. Well.
Speaker 1: I had another one that I was going to use
Speaker 1: about bigger boys, because Christian's a bigger boy and I
Speaker 1: thought he'll be able to back me up on this.
Speaker 1: But my MC one is perfect because I was gonna
Speaker 1: do it if we didn't have Christian anyway, It's.
Speaker 2: Funny because you say he's a bigger boy. But every
Speaker 2: time I see him, I'm like, shit, I forget how
Speaker 2: small you are, Like he's tiny, shortman.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and it's not even so shoby, it's just
Speaker 1: because you're so short.
Speaker 2: Like I'm not exactly a tall person, but I feel
Speaker 2: like a fucking giraffe because they want to stand next
Speaker 2: to Christian. He's like a little beengue.
Speaker 1: He's tiny. And I saw him with ten yar Hannessy
Speaker 1: and he's shorter than ten you Hennessy?
Speaker 2: How tall is Sonya Hanns just a bit taller than Christian?
Speaker 2: Half great tonight?
Speaker 1: Yeah great to know, good metric. Oh you know you
Speaker 1: love him? It's true. So I have my sister's wedding.
Speaker 1: I want to talk about my sister's wedding over the weekend.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it was a love fest. I felt
Speaker 1: so loved.
Speaker 2: Did they go all out because he said it was expensive?
Speaker 1: Oh, like I think I think it was. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know, but I think it was tens of thousands
Speaker 1: of dollars up up.
Speaker 2: With fifty that you'd think.
Speaker 1: So Mum said that the flower arrangements were six thousand
Speaker 1: dollars on their own What the fuck the flowers that
Speaker 1: dying a day?
Speaker 2: See, that's something that I feel like. Actually, no, I
Speaker 2: do love flowers. If I was having a wedding, which
Speaker 2: again huge hypothetical, probably never gonna happen, will, I would
Speaker 2: be looking for I don't say it will, you sound
Speaker 2: like my mother It won't because and I'm fine with that.
Speaker 1: Do you want me to stop saying it will? I mean,
Speaker 1: it's the first time I fucking said it.
Speaker 2: You can say it could because maybe it could, but
Speaker 2: like I don't, it's not.
Speaker 1: That's not that's nurturing at all.
Speaker 2: It could, Yeah, that's no. But when you say it will,
Speaker 2: that makes it sound like I don't have a choice. True,
Speaker 2: I'm just I'm comfortable if it doesn't ever happen. But anyway,
Speaker 2: I'd be looking for things to skimp on because it's like,
Speaker 2: I don't need to spend by the most expensive shit
Speaker 2: for every little element of the wedding. Maybe I'd skimp
Speaker 2: on a DJ and I'd just get an ox cord, yes,
Speaker 2: because I'd rather be the DJ myself and we've.
Speaker 1: Got an ox call lying around, so save the money
Speaker 1: buying one exactly what I already own it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I reckon, that's something i'd skimp on. I
Speaker 2: wouldn't want a band there whatever.
Speaker 1: That's what Becky skimped on. My sister Becky was like,
Speaker 1: we got the thin paper on the brochures. I'm like, great,
Speaker 1: you don't need you don't need thick four ply paper
Speaker 1: on the pamphlets because people people fold that up, put
Speaker 1: it in their suit jacket, and they wash it and
Speaker 1: it gets grossed and they never look at it again.
Speaker 2: I'd also be quite comfortable wearing like a cheap, shitty suit,
Speaker 2: I reckon. I was thinking about this while we had
Speaker 2: Kristin on. If I ever had a wedding, I would
Speaker 2: make the dress code like comfy. I don't want people
Speaker 2: in formals at mine, because I don't want to be
Speaker 2: informals at mine.
Speaker 1: What would you wear?
Speaker 2: A long, flowy V neck top that makes me look cute.
Speaker 2: Maybe some shorts, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, it's to be nice. There was some shorts,
Speaker 1: there was. It was a very traditional wedding of this,
Speaker 1: this one. I was in the I was a groomsman
Speaker 1: with my new brack and I made a speech. You
Speaker 1: would have been very proud speech, great tor the house down.
Speaker 1: It was messy and you know what it made me think,
Speaker 1: made me think you will be in my bridal party.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've already shot guns. Well I'm just letting because
Speaker 2: you have no brothers, so I've got that advantage.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you've shot gun. I think we discussed it.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it was on the on the
Speaker 1: cloud or not, but I was like, oh maybe, but
Speaker 1: after being at a wedding and this close to my
Speaker 1: life and being my sister and I could see it
Speaker 1: happening with Hayden, I thought, oh yeah, I want you
Speaker 1: up there.
Speaker 2: I think you're both good for it too. You guys
Speaker 2: could afford a wedding.
Speaker 1: I think we'd be okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Would I be just one of the groomsmen or
Speaker 2: the best man?
Speaker 1: Well? Best man is I don't know that? Is that
Speaker 1: too traditional?
Speaker 2: Maybe actually something more gender and utual, like best one
Speaker 2: best them? No, I don't use they then pro just.
Speaker 1: Now his best, just his best, he's the best, he's
Speaker 1: the best. Mitchell Coombs. Yeah, now, yeah, you would, I
Speaker 1: think you would be. I don't know, I'm gonna.
Speaker 2: Have to do that mean I have to organize the
Speaker 2: hen Yes, so both or no?
Speaker 1: Well that's that's the thing because we're gay. Fuck tradition.
Speaker 1: I don't think we'll have a Bucks. We're gonna have
Speaker 1: separate bucks. I don't want to have a Bucks. I
Speaker 1: just want to go out and get pissed with friends
Speaker 1: before the wedding. That'd be well, that's a letter be Yeah.
Speaker 2: Again, that's an opportunity to skim because you don't like alcohol.
Speaker 2: So if I waste money, imagine it's my money. Imagine
Speaker 2: if you and Hayden both had bridesmaids and groomsmen each,
Speaker 2: because you know how it's always like, oh, the bride
Speaker 2: and her bridal party, she chooses them, and then the
Speaker 2: groom and his greensman and he chooses them. That wouldn't
Speaker 2: that would mean that neither you get women, So you
Speaker 2: should both have a pool of each.
Speaker 1: Yes, we are, we are, so I've already I'm doing
Speaker 1: my two sisters. Which was weird because Becky was like,
Speaker 1: we want you to be in the party of the
Speaker 1: women and the men, but we're gonna put you with
Speaker 1: the men. I think because she's more traditional than brother
Speaker 1: in law.
Speaker 2: It was very weird.
Speaker 1: I'd much rather be with the girls, which meant on
Speaker 1: the day of the wedding and it was in the farm.
Speaker 1: They were at different properties right the day of the wedding.
Speaker 1: Hayden was of the girls because he walked my mum
Speaker 1: down the aisle. Okay, isn't she No, No, the dad
Speaker 1: walks down the aisle with the bright So mum was
Speaker 1: gonna come in on her own and she felt awkward,
Speaker 1: so she she begged Hayden to do it, and he
Speaker 1: was like, I don't want to.
Speaker 2: He would have had such impolter syndrome, like why the
Speaker 2: fuck am I walking down the aisle?
Speaker 1: Yes, everyone was like who the fuck is that? And
Speaker 1: he was wearing a thick court Did you see what
Speaker 1: he was wearing?
Speaker 2: Cow? But I didn't really pay that much attention.
Speaker 1: It was a thick corduroy suit.
Speaker 2: I've just gurgled best man wedding duties because I don't
Speaker 2: know what I'm agreeing to here other than other than
Speaker 2: having to organize the hens and all that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Hans, I think you have to console me on
Speaker 1: the day, and you do know how to talk me
Speaker 1: off a ledge. You're very good at distressing me.
Speaker 2: When I hoped that I wouldn't have to talk you
Speaker 2: off a ledge on your wedding dight, not.
Speaker 1: No, but stressed, and my auntie's being a bitch. Where's
Speaker 1: the cake?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: My boat tie?
Speaker 2: I'm I'll be that bitch. You don't even know what's
Speaker 2: going on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2: What are you aunties names?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 1: Would you have Karen?
Speaker 2: I'd be like, Karen, we've been through this. Get the
Speaker 2: fuck out of my kitchen. The kitchen, yeah, because I'd
Speaker 2: be there, like organizing the cake and stuff. So I've
Speaker 2: got to organize the bachelor party, help the groom and
Speaker 2: greensmen get their wedding attire.
Speaker 1: Oh fuck that Yeah, because I have to pay for
Speaker 1: all the suits.
Speaker 2: Good, maybe I won't skimp on the suits.
Speaker 1: Then you'd have access to my bank card. I just
Speaker 1: go with you a debit and you just go spend it.
Speaker 1: That's actually right up your alley.
Speaker 2: Ensure that the groom and greensmen get to the ceremony
Speaker 2: on time. Oh fuck, you're organized. You do make it, it,
Speaker 2: says ensure the groom and greensman. So I have to
Speaker 2: make sure you get there on time.
Speaker 1: Joe, imagine me on my wedding day.
Speaker 2: Hold on to the wedding rings. I can do that,
Speaker 2: serve as a witness. Oh, I get to my signatures
Speaker 2: on your marriage license. Ah, fabulous, but we have probably
Speaker 2: have the same signature.
Speaker 1: Yeah the amount of Jack's got about that MC and
Speaker 1: you're an MC A same.
Speaker 2: Shut up, you know what I realized recently. So just
Speaker 2: while we're talking about our initials, out of all the
Speaker 2: podcasts I've done, my name's never been first because we
Speaker 2: try to do alphabetical order. So it's fair. So not
Speaker 2: my cup of tea with Achelan Mitch and Talisia Achland,
Speaker 2: she came first, obviously, Trash Alley with all right, hey,
Speaker 2: Mitchell Kumbs, all right, hay begins to a that comes
Speaker 2: first this podcast. I was so fucking close down to
Speaker 2: the initials I have, Mitchell c and then you eclipse
Speaker 2: me with.
Speaker 1: It if you haste of co.
Speaker 2: I was that close to getting first on the naming rights.
Speaker 1: But well, but hold on, even Mitchell Kumbs and Mitchy Mitchtue,
Speaker 1: Mitchell Crimbs. I guess because it is just me. It's
Speaker 1: not like we're not a duo in that sense. I
Speaker 1: think it works.
Speaker 2: Offer the first toast to the newlyweds. Hah, that means
Speaker 2: I have to do the first toast. Fabulous. No, I
Speaker 2: have to make sure that you get pissed by the
Speaker 2: first toes, it'll probably be my tenth little bit.
Speaker 1: I don't think you have to do this. These are
Speaker 1: just options.
Speaker 2: Collect gifts and cards from the guests. I can do that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Becky and Kurt had a wishing Well, is that.
Speaker 2: What you're going to do?
Speaker 1: I think so.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't want all this random clutter.
Speaker 1: You know they got I probably shouldn't be saying this,
Speaker 1: but they got eighteen thousand dollars from the guests share
Speaker 1: in money. I'd feel bad taking money from family and friends.
Speaker 2: Well, they're kind of they see it as like paying
Speaker 2: for their meal. Really like the bit of restaurant because
Speaker 2: they're getting free food and shit.
Speaker 1: Out of it. Oh, the food was phenomenal.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, So it's kind of like paying for that
Speaker 2: any way.
Speaker 1: True. I didn't even think of that.
Speaker 2: Decorate the getaway car.
Speaker 1: Get away car.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know how the bride and groom. Sorry sorry,
Speaker 2: why did I use straight terminology? You know how the
Speaker 2: groom and groom drive away with like the just married
Speaker 2: banner and shit on their car driving, you know, dragging
Speaker 2: tin cans and all that. Yeah, apparently I'm a charge
Speaker 2: of the decorating the car.
Speaker 1: We didn't. We didn't do that. Also, I think what
Speaker 1: you are in charge of is you're in charge of
Speaker 1: delegating to the bridal party. So you can tell Becky Rachel,
Speaker 1: my two sisters fucking do the car. You're the boss,
Speaker 1: so you can delegate all these tasks. Really, all you
Speaker 1: need to do is be there to sign.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm absolutely the right person.
Speaker 1: Well I don't know you actually are.
Speaker 2: Oh this is going to be fabulous.
Speaker 1: As an interview why we get married? And I hate
Speaker 1: I have to announce this to everyone. Hayden caught the bouquet.
Speaker 1: Did you see the footage?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: Oh, but isn't that That's that's saying something, isn't it?
Speaker 2: Because I feel like it. You know how people say
Speaker 2: when you want kids, you're clucky.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't know what the word is for weddings, but
Speaker 2: I feel like or clucky to get married after seeing
Speaker 2: your sister get married.
Speaker 1: Let me yeah, I am. It was a beautiful ceremony.
Speaker 1: You know how I love family, So a three day
Speaker 1: get away with nothing but family is I loved it.
Speaker 1: I was in heaven. This is the footage. Play it.
Speaker 1: He almost runs at it like I should take it
Speaker 1: as a compliment that he wants to.
Speaker 2: Oh god, yeah, yeah. It didn't look like there was
Speaker 2: much competition there. There weren't many people lining up to
Speaker 2: get the buquet. To be fair, okay, sea, there was
Speaker 2: a sea.
Speaker 1: Of women behind him that were very unimpressed.
Speaker 2: Yeah but he oh right, because he couldn't see that
Speaker 2: in the video. But yeah, he dove out in front
Speaker 2: of them.
Speaker 1: Yoh, he went out of his way to get it.
Speaker 2: Well, to be fair, your sister is also a shit
Speaker 2: aim Like she threw the bouquet like basically right behind
Speaker 2: her feet.
Speaker 1: He sort of appeared out of nowhere. It was quite bizarre.
Speaker 1: All the women behind him were screaming.
Speaker 2: Oh I see the other angle now yeah, wow, Well
Speaker 2: he had to dive forward because your sister can't throw
Speaker 2: for shit, Like I'm if you. Obviously everyone listening can't
Speaker 2: see this, but like, there's the bride there about to
Speaker 2: throw the flowers behind her. People are about ten meters away,
Speaker 2: and the flowers landed right next to her ankles. She
Speaker 2: didn't really throw it, there was a heave.
Speaker 1: I think it was planned. I think they put heat
Speaker 1: it up because she wants him to be brother in law.
Speaker 1: Of course, all the family do, which is the pressure
Speaker 1: as well. All the family like, well you're next? Like,
Speaker 1: well are you not? Here? We are, but anyone could
Speaker 1: be next.
Speaker 2: Oh god, you're starting to sound like Mitchell Combs. No,
Speaker 2: I don't want to be told what to do. Why
Speaker 2: I shan't be next? I will be probably. I just
Speaker 2: know it's not going to happen for a while. I
Speaker 2: don't want to get married yet. It's too early, too soon,
Speaker 2: fair enough? I mean here I am being like, nah,
Speaker 2: I get married, but it does not affect my life
Speaker 2: one bit. Sides, I can't really comment.
Speaker 1: I also don't want to get divorced, not that we would,
Speaker 1: but you want to just you want to live together.
Speaker 1: You want to do everything together. We even want to
Speaker 1: live overseas for a little bit together before we get married.
Speaker 2: I want to anyway, you know that even though you're
Speaker 2: not married now, he's pretty much legally entitled to anything
Speaker 2: that you would be because you've been living together for ages,
Speaker 2: so he's a de facto So if you guys broke up,
Speaker 2: he could absolutely go to court and try and take
Speaker 2: so many money? Or do you want me to draft
Speaker 2: a prenup? Now?
Speaker 1: Can you get like? Will we do a prenup now
Speaker 1: I'm not wealthy enough.
Speaker 2: Well that's true, but you could also take him to court.
Speaker 2: On the flip side, if you break up now as
Speaker 2: day factors, you could claim half of everything he's entitled.
Speaker 1: Take him to the doctors today. And I barely wanted
Speaker 1: to do that. Imagine taking him to court. Couldn't be fucked.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't think you have to take him, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean. But yeah, I didn't realize that
Speaker 2: until recently. Someone told me that, oh, if you're living together,
Speaker 2: I think it's six months or something, then you count
Speaker 2: as to factos and you basically have the same legal
Speaker 2: entitlements as a married couple. And I'm like, I will
Speaker 2: absolutely be that bitch, even though I don't have heaps
Speaker 2: of money to my name. Just for the peace of mind,
Speaker 2: I'd make a boyfriend of mine after six months living
Speaker 2: together sign of prenup be like, don't try and flog
Speaker 2: my shit. I don't trust men.
Speaker 1: What is de facto? I've just googled it because it's
Speaker 1: still week. De facto.
Speaker 2: It just means you're a couple that is as strong
Speaker 2: as a married couple, but you're not legally married.
Speaker 1: I guess, oh it means expressed by law in Latin.
Speaker 2: See see you've got a Can we start calling Hayden
Speaker 2: you're gay facto?
Speaker 1: Yes? Gay facto?
Speaker 2: Are joining us now? Is Mitche's gay facto? Hayden? I mean,
Speaker 2: you could be dating someone for five years and not
Speaker 2: living with them and you're not de fact But as
Speaker 2: soon as you're living together the facto.
Speaker 1: It's not creat It's so much easier to live together,
Speaker 1: you're not. The current issues in our household is that
Speaker 1: Hayden can't fucking drive and it is driving me literally,
Speaker 1: I have no pun intended insane because he's got all
Speaker 1: these doctor appoinments because of the way he reacted to COVID,
Speaker 1: which is great. We're getting to the bottom of it,
Speaker 1: but the eight am and I have.
Speaker 2: To go with him.
Speaker 1: I've got to drive it.
Speaker 2: Well, maybe Hayden should be the one that we teach
Speaker 2: to drive now that we've done Jenna. She's not licensed
Speaker 2: gent but we have to take your gay facto el
Speaker 2: plating I'd do it. Yeah, Why don't you though, because
Speaker 2: if he.
Speaker 1: Doesn't want to do it, he does not want to drive, Because.
Speaker 2: You should turn around and say, maybe I don't.
Speaker 1: Want to drive, I do it. All the time because
Speaker 1: I can't drink. I think, I honestly think my lack
Speaker 1: of drinking now I very rarely drink is because I
Speaker 1: have to fucking drive all the time at every function.
Speaker 1: He can get blind and then I'm desot.
Speaker 2: Oh that's bullshit. Yeah, and you know he's got it good.
Speaker 2: He knows exactly what's going on.
Speaker 1: Thank you for. And his mum knows it too. His
Speaker 1: mom's like, don't you fuck let him get awa with it.
Speaker 1: Every lunch we go to she brings up ROMs and
Speaker 1: just like slides from the phone and guess and she's like,
Speaker 1: I'll pay for it. I'll buy I'll buy you a car.
Speaker 1: He has everything he needs, yeah, yeah, to be set up.
Speaker 1: He just doesn't want to do it.
Speaker 2: I don't know what I do without the ability to drive.
Speaker 2: I feel i'd feel like my wings have been clipped. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Have you've actually clipped the bird's wings? It's very traumatic.
Speaker 2: No, I've never had the need to clip someone's wings.
Speaker 1: I've actually clipped bird's wings. It's all the reason because
Speaker 1: it's like a toenail. You can clip the wing, but
Speaker 1: most of it's cartlet. But then you get to actual
Speaker 1: bone and you've got to sort.
Speaker 2: Of like judge, similar to when I'm cutting the cat's claw. Yes,
Speaker 2: some of its actual flesh, some of it's just yeah.
Speaker 1: Yes, but it's a fucking wing, so it's like there
Speaker 1: are it's actually really feathers. Yeah, the feathers, but the
Speaker 1: bird squawks. It's a little head off. We grew up
Speaker 1: with budget.
Speaker 2: Where the fuck were you clipping its wings?
Speaker 1: Because you've got otherwise to fly away. You need to
Speaker 1: clip Budge's wings. So then you can let them roam
Speaker 1: the house and they won't fly. Oh, they can glide.
Speaker 1: They can jump from there to there and they will
Speaker 1: glide down, but they can't get catch flight.
Speaker 2: That would be so fucked if someone just cut my
Speaker 2: toes off. We don't want him running off. Yes, oh yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't know what i'd do if I all of
Speaker 2: a sudden just couldn't drive. You should just tell Hayden
Speaker 2: you lost your license.
Speaker 1: I'm close to, I'm really close to just.
Speaker 2: Like photocopy a bunch of fines you've already got and
Speaker 2: then be like, yeah, another one. We've got no demerits,
Speaker 2: Send me one of the RMS letters. I'll photoshop. But
Speaker 2: to say you've got zero demerit points left and your
Speaker 2: fy has to get it.
Speaker 1: We faced that because I almost lost my I did
Speaker 1: lose my license and his mom had to take a
Speaker 1: point for me. That probably shouldn't be on the record,
Speaker 1: should it.
Speaker 2: Oh it's he now. Fuck, my mum's done the same
Speaker 2: for me.
Speaker 1: It's okay, good, there we go.
Speaker 2: It's because my car used to be in her name,
Speaker 2: so I got a fine and the pointsman of her license.
Speaker 2: She goes, I'll cop it just this once. But yeah,
Speaker 2: so I didn't ask her to take points for me.
Speaker 1: I'm done by one of those. They hidden the speed
Speaker 1: cameras and they've removed the signage. You New South Wales anyway,
Speaker 1: so you don't know. It could just be a fucking
Speaker 1: missen sitting on the side of the road scanning you
Speaker 1: for speed. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't understand why they've taken the signs away, because
Speaker 2: don't you want people to slow down?
Speaker 1: Yeah, And they're like, it's not for revenue raising bulls
Speaker 1: of safety?
Speaker 2: I call how was that for safety? Because the signs
Speaker 2: people slow down, their bite they're being saved.
Speaker 1: Fuck governments.
Speaker 2: Oh there's a plane flowing over right now. There's a
Speaker 2: reason that we're recording from home today. By the way, idiots,
Speaker 2: the KISSFM studio was flooded during the horrific Sydney weather
Speaker 2: so yep, here we are.
Speaker 1: I was there and water droplets started trickling down from
Speaker 1: the ceiling onto the panel, which, mind you, is probably
Speaker 1: two hundred thousand dollars, the control panel that broadcasts the station.
Speaker 1: Drip drip going into this expensive panel, and they freak
Speaker 1: freakd the fuck out.
Speaker 2: The roof must be real fucked.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It happened literally yesterday when I was at lunch with
Speaker 2: the Right Hay and we were bitching about the studio
Speaker 2: that we've called trash Allien because it's like in an
Speaker 2: office building but closer to the ground floor. So if
Speaker 2: a big truck drives passed, the producer Michelle will scream
Speaker 2: out stop and we just have to stop talking and
Speaker 2: let the and then she goes all right, keep talking,
Speaker 2: and we're like, fuck, we've forgotten where we were at.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it loses all.
Speaker 2: We were thinking, Jesus, what's the bit got to do
Speaker 2: to get some soundproofing in this office because it kind
Speaker 2: of throws it ruins the flow because a plane will
Speaker 2: fly over, a garbage truck will drive pass and we
Speaker 2: just have to keep stopping and starting. You'd never know what.
Speaker 1: About this studio here, this is We're in Mitchell's closet,
Speaker 1: for God's sake.
Speaker 2: But yeah, as we were having this conversation yesterday about
Speaker 2: how shit our studio is, you and Jenna are sent
Speaker 2: in the group chat pictures of the Kids FM studio flooded.
Speaker 2: So I was like, both my studios are fucked, and
Speaker 2: I was like, catch me working from home every week
Speaker 2: for the rest of my life because I'm so overish,
Speaker 2: And isn't it good?
Speaker 1: Like it? Actually you can go to the bathroom, you
Speaker 1: can go to the kitchen.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I love working from home, and I love the little
Speaker 1: home studio you've got set up. You got blankies on
Speaker 1: the wall.
Speaker 2: Trying to dampen it a bit. So what happened with
Speaker 2: your radio show last night? The studio was fast and
Speaker 2: we couldn't do the podcast there today because it's still
Speaker 2: fund I had to be could you.
Speaker 1: Could use it for recording purposes obviously, like the backup
Speaker 1: studio put it on the show.
Speaker 2: Backup studio just me.
Speaker 1: It was a real mess.
Speaker 2: Fucking You just wouldn't expect that a bit of rain
Speaker 2: would cripple the radio station. The wh is it not waterproof?
Speaker 1: Yeah? The number one network in the country.
Speaker 2: It's so funny.
Speaker 1: Community radio stations are more and more secure weather wise
Speaker 1: than us.
Speaker 2: I feel like my house in particular, I don't know
Speaker 2: what it is about it, but it must be so
Speaker 2: well sound proved, or the walls must be really thick,
Speaker 2: because there's no background noise whatsoever. But if you open
Speaker 2: my window even a crack, you'll hear like the busy
Speaker 2: R street that I live above out there, Like it
Speaker 2: is so loud outside.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right, isn't here? Yeah, it's very busy.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go open the window just to prove it.
Speaker 2: I don't know what it is about, Okay, we need
Speaker 2: to get walls like this interrastion alley so you can't
Speaker 2: hear shit happening outside. I'm going to show you they
Speaker 2: are thick walls though, now you mention it ready, how'
Speaker 2: much loud of is that?
Speaker 1: Oh my god?
Speaker 2: You should hear it during peak hour and now nothing.
Speaker 1: Couldn't hear a fire fat fly far so natural Light's
Speaker 1: quite nice.
Speaker 2: You're great, Marti Garras. Next week Green He's actually sweep
Speaker 2: by the time this episode sounded what are you doing?
Speaker 1: I saw you're all over TikTok. You're the face of
Speaker 1: martograph TikTok or something.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I saw that too. They chose me looking
Speaker 2: real grumpy in that photo, didn't You had.
Speaker 1: Your arms crossed and everything and all right, hey was
Speaker 1: behind you?
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I did love to be behind you. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm just doing the TikTok float again. I nearly pulled
Speaker 2: out because I just couldn't be asked learning the dance.
Speaker 2: But no, no, I'll do it.
Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait, what's the dance?
Speaker 2: I don't know, that's the problem.
Speaker 1: So you're on the the TikTok martograph float like you were.
Speaker 2: Last year in the parade, and I was like, maybe
Speaker 2: I should just go as a spectator this year. But
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I'm in too deep now. They've
Speaker 2: got my fucking photo plasted on the TikTok app saying,
Speaker 2: oh Marti gras as one of the people that's going.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, oh, I'm in too deep now, I
Speaker 2: better learn the dance.
Speaker 1: You were good last year and you were so blind, remember,
Speaker 1: like you were drunk.
Speaker 2: Now I wasn't.
Speaker 1: Why were you sober during the parade?
Speaker 2: I was one hundred percent sober, which is so it
Speaker 2: was so odd because I'm always a little bit tipsy
Speaker 2: at least during the parade. Remember whenever we did the
Speaker 2: kids float, they'd priced with an alcohol as we were
Speaker 2: getting ready. Yeah, and then we'd end up being blind
Speaker 2: in the parade. But last year there was nothing. Didn't
Speaker 2: like it. I'm getting blind this year. I don't care
Speaker 2: if I have to smuggle a flask of booths at
Speaker 2: my ass. It's going to be one.
Speaker 1: I'll be there. I'm broadcasting live. Like Christian said, I'll
Speaker 1: snooz throw one at me. I will in a water bottle.
Speaker 1: I don't know what. Hayden's going to be there. Hayden's
Speaker 1: birthday on that day.
Speaker 2: Oh how perfect.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so we're gonna have a big celebration. It's going
Speaker 1: to be a big thing. It'd be quite fun. I
Speaker 1: love Mardi Gras. I actually think the SCG Marti gra
Speaker 1: if you've never been or if you're coming comes out
Speaker 1: igh to us, we'll both be there. In Sydney. But
Speaker 1: they used to do it down Oxford Street, the gay
Speaker 1: street in the city, and now it's in the Cricket Ground.
Speaker 2: In the stadium in the stadium and I love it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't mind it. I think it'll end up back
Speaker 2: on Oxford Street, which is like fine because like, oh,
Speaker 2: for old time's sake, it's more historic doing it on
Speaker 2: the street. Yeah, I kind of like the scg VI
Speaker 2: the cricket ground. It's weird that it's a cricket ground.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't feel synonymous with gays walking around in
Speaker 1: crop tops and leather belts.
Speaker 2: And also when I say I'm on the TikTok float,
Speaker 2: because we're doing it on a fucking cricket pitch and
Speaker 2: they don't want to ruin the grass. You can't physically
Speaker 2: drive floats on there. So when I say that I'm
Speaker 2: on the float, I'm just doing a on foot like
Speaker 2: things floating. No, there's no vehicles on that, like you've
Speaker 2: you've got people with giant props to try and make
Speaker 2: up for the fact that they don't have a physical float,
Speaker 2: because usually it's people on the back of trucks and yeah, nah,
Speaker 2: in the seg it's it's people wondering. So it's a march,
Speaker 2: it's a parade, yeah, but without I'm not on the float.
Speaker 2: I'm just in the parade.
Speaker 1: Possey, You're rallying. You're rallying. Yeah, I remember that. You
Speaker 1: get the most awkward, fuck it the most random. I
Speaker 1: should say floats. They're like gays for dogs and it's
Speaker 1: just gays who love dogskes on bikes, dikes on bikes,
Speaker 1: gays who love toast to breakfast. I'll put myself on
Speaker 1: that point.
Speaker 2: I wonder if we could do it? Is it just me? Float?
Speaker 2: It'll probably cost a bomb to get in there.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it what I wonder?
Speaker 2: Probably a lot. We'd be good for it.
Speaker 1: Don't worry, but have contacts. I could ring someone.
Speaker 2: I need a coffee. I'm starting to fade.
Speaker 1: Yeah, same, We should probably go. Thank you to Christian
Speaker 1: Hall for coming on one of the Yes.
Speaker 2: It feels like forever I gues, doesn't it ever?
Speaker 1: Thank you Christian. We love and we'll see you guys
Speaker 1: next week. Merch is available minutes. You've got mere minutes.
Speaker 2: To go out by if you're listening to these episode
Speaker 2: the day it drops like the last a WI It's
Speaker 2: literally the last day you could auder emerge and then
Speaker 2: the stores closed.
Speaker 1: You have to shop it on Facebook Marketplace and pay premium.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking you for listening. Five star reviews please if
Speaker 1: you're so kind, write us one on Apple podcast too.
Speaker 1: That keeps us going. Otherwise, we'll see you next week
Speaker 1: for ninety nine.
Speaker 2: We hope this podcast made you feel at least two
Speaker 2: percent better today. That's all.
Speaker 1: So we do, So we do, so we do.
Speaker 2: It's not quite the same without the chorus of Jenner
Speaker 2: and Sam saying it in unison.
Speaker 1: One person saying it sounds a bit creepy, So we do,
Speaker 1: so we do a bit cold. All right, let's get
Speaker 1: that coffee.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, we'll catch you next week. It's lovey
Speaker 2: happy martogram.
Speaker 1: Is It just Me?
Speaker 3: A podcast by a couple of miches. Make sure you've
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