WEBVTT - MINI: School Rumours

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<v Speaker 1>iHeart Podcasts. Hear more gold podcasts, playlists, and listen live

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<v Speaker 1>on the free iHeart app. Got anything good? Hey, this

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<v Speaker 1>is the Christian O'Connell Show Podcast. At school, I think

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<v Speaker 1>every school we went to, there were certain rumors. They

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<v Speaker 1>were never, they were the originators. They were the OG

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<v Speaker 1>fake news. No one ever fact-checked them. You just spread

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<v Speaker 1>it immediately. There was always the one about two teachers

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<v Speaker 1>in a supply cupboard doing it to each other.

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<v Speaker 2>Always.

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<v Speaker 3>Always.

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<v Speaker 1>We could go to any country in the world. Botswana,

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<v Speaker 1>they'll have had that rumour. Australia, UK.

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<v Speaker 3>We had a version of that. It wasn't the supply cupboard,

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<v Speaker 3>but two teachers left at the same time. One of

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<v Speaker 3>them was a PE teacher, and the rumour was, oh,

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<v Speaker 3>Stephen Kennedy saw them doing it in the swimming pool,

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<v Speaker 3>and they got fired.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know what it was, but all the rumours

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<v Speaker 1>involving two teachers, one of them had to be the

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<v Speaker 1>PE teacher. I don't know whether it was because they

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<v Speaker 1>wore shorts that they were just ready to get into it. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Two other ones from my school. I mentioned this yesterday.

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<v Speaker 1>The kid that was called Maggot, he bit into an

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<v Speaker 1>apple and there was a maggot in there and apparently

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<v Speaker 1>swallowed it and it burrowed its maggoty way up into

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<v Speaker 1>his cerebral cortex and he had a maggot living in

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<v Speaker 1>his brain that surgeons couldn't get out. It was the 80s.

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<v Speaker 1>They hadn't invented the technology to remove a maggot from

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<v Speaker 1>a child's brain.

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<v Speaker 3>High-level rumor to involve the cerebral cortex.

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<v Speaker 2>Exactly, yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>And then the one that my friend Martin Laws really,

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<v Speaker 1>really told our history teacher once when we got into

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<v Speaker 1>the Second World War. And he asked us, what do

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<v Speaker 1>we know about the death and downfall of Hitler? Martin

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<v Speaker 1>had grown up believing that his granddad killed Hitler. Mr. Taylor,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, Mr. Taylor, we'd never seen Mr. Taylor, our

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<v Speaker 1>history teacher, laugh. Actually was crying with laughter. You know

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<v Speaker 1>when you get red-faced and angry as a kid? You

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<v Speaker 1>get really upset. You're so angry that you can't find

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<v Speaker 1>the right words. He lost it. And then he was like, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>your granddad, okay, how does he claim to have killed Hitler?

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<v Speaker 1>And Martin said that he punched his lights out.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, no. That's awesome.

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<v Speaker 1>I wanted to believe that Martin Law's granddad knocked out Hitler.

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<v Speaker 1>That's why no one messed with him, because his granddad

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<v Speaker 1>knocked out Hitler. Just sparked him out, slept him.

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<v Speaker 3>One punch.

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<v Speaker 1>One punch. If only Dana White was around then. All right, Pete,

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<v Speaker 1>where did you grow up? You must have gone to

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<v Speaker 1>a barn or something.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well, no. I've just realized I've got two great ones.

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<v Speaker 2>I grew up in regional Victoria in a little town

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<v Speaker 2>called Simpson. Shout out to everyone. They are becoming brightsiders,

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<v Speaker 2>the whole town. That's right. And it's funny. If you

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<v Speaker 2>can play, yes, the Simpsons soundtrack because we all believed,

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<v Speaker 2>and it's still to this day true, that the TV

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<v Speaker 2>show The Simpsons is actually named after the town of

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<v Speaker 2>Simpson itself in regional Victoria.

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<v Speaker 3>Wow.

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<v Speaker 2>To the point where people would have conversations.

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<v Speaker 1>And you've got the nuclear plant there as well, so

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<v Speaker 1>it all made sense.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, it does. The craft factory was very similar, all

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<v Speaker 2>that sort of stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>Moe's Bar.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, yeah, the Simpson Tavern, which is absolutely perfect. So

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<v Speaker 2>what I'm saying this is that to the rumour where

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<v Speaker 2>people used to say that the actual makers of the

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<v Speaker 2>TV show The Simpsons actually came to Simpson, Victoria to

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<v Speaker 2>suss it out one day.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh-huh.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and that rumour is still to this day. And

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<v Speaker 2>to the point where people sometimes just paint pictures of

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<v Speaker 2>the Simpsons around the town because they're so proud of

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<v Speaker 2>the fact that the Simpsons is named after Simpson in Rachel, Victoria.

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<v Speaker 3>Wow, there you go.

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<v Speaker 1>I tell you what, the photos you put up on

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<v Speaker 1>our show group chat yesterday, I tell you what, you

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<v Speaker 1>said painted. You didn't say painted badly.

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<v Speaker 2>No, not at all.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like a scene from Daniel Day-Lewis' movie, My Left Foot.

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<v Speaker 2>We will chuck that up on the Instagram as well.

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<v Speaker 2>But there's one other one I've just remembered. There's a

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<v Speaker 2>big rumor 20 minutes away from Simpson, a little town

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<v Speaker 2>called Timboon. For years, our vice principal, his name was

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<v Speaker 2>Mike Leac, we kind of started the rumor and now

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<v Speaker 2>it just exploded that Patrick McDermott, which was Olivia Newton-John's

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<v Speaker 2>missing boyfriend who's never been found, was actually our vice principal.

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<v Speaker 2>He looked exactly the same.

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<v Speaker 1>This is so random. I know.

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<v Speaker 2>I know. I just remembered it. No, no. He literally

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<v Speaker 2>looks the same. So we're like, well, hey, he is

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<v Speaker 2>Olivia Newton-John's missing boyfriend. And he is based in Timberland, Victoria.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't know anything about the story of Olivia Newton-John's,

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<v Speaker 1>rest in peace, missing boyfriend.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, never found. It just disappeared one day. And everyone went, oh, well.

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<v Speaker 2>And then every now and again, they'd be like, he.

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<v Speaker 1>Was- He's living with Howard Holt.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Classic.

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<v Speaker 2>Great prime minister, too, by the way.

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<v Speaker 1>Was he?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, well.

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<v Speaker 1>Were you around then?

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<v Speaker 2>What was your favourite part of Harold Holt?

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<v Speaker 1>We're narrowing in on the mysterious age of Pete. You

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<v Speaker 1>just let slip. This whole early 40s, I've always thought

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<v Speaker 1>was BS. You know, now we know you're going, shout

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<v Speaker 1>out to Harold Holt.

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<v Speaker 2>Great guy.

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<v Speaker 1>Great Padel player.

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<v Speaker 2>Look, if you want, I've got a funny story about

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<v Speaker 2>Harold Holt.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, now we're there.

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<v Speaker 2>Go on. We say Harold Holt when you want, instead

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<v Speaker 2>of smoke bombing, we call it the Harold Holt, which

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<v Speaker 2>is where you leave without saying it.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, I didn't know that. So we call that an

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<v Speaker 1>Irish goodbye.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, there we go.

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<v Speaker 1>It's well known around the world as the Irish goodbye.

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<v Speaker 1>You just disappear. Also now known then as the Harold Holt.

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<v Speaker 2>It's known as the Harold Holt. It's a story, not

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<v Speaker 2>a good one, but just something to share anyway.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, look, obviously you and I have got a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of work to do before that stand-up gig in six weeks' time.

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<v Speaker 1>I know this earmarked, clear diary.

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<v Speaker 2>How do we Harold Holt out of this break?

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<v Speaker 1>Like this. The Christian O'Connell Show.

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<v Speaker 3>Go on.

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<v Speaker 1>Podcast.