Speaker 1: You know how you got done with the salmon today.
Speaker 2: I did get done with the salmon before.
Speaker 1: I came here for this record. Had a salmon Hi salmon,
Speaker 1: and I opened the lid off the takeaway container and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, that's very fishy. And then I
Speaker 1: was like I was just eating it. I was like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm starving, I've got I've got to eat this before
Speaker 1: i come for the record. And Laura, who was in
Speaker 1: the other end of the room, she was like, what
Speaker 1: the fuck is that salmon? Will be the undoing of
Speaker 1: this show. Hey, welcome, you're listening to us. It's because
Speaker 1: it's a Monday, and that's weird. It's a bonus episode day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and we have really really special guests excited about
Speaker 3: this one.
Speaker 2: They go by the Buckley's. One is James Buckler and
Speaker 2: the other is Claire.
Speaker 1: You may know James Buckley is as Jay from The
Speaker 1: in Betweeners. And she told me you'd watched this series about.
Speaker 2: Three hundred times. I still have it on DVD.
Speaker 1: So are you like a little bit This is like
Speaker 1: meeting Michael Jackson Jason.
Speaker 2: Well, during this whole chat, I had an erection. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they're lucky. You're lucky. We're all lucky. But they also
Speaker 2: have a YouTube.
Speaker 1: As well as a podcast called In Sickness and in Health.
Speaker 1: Claire is a very.
Speaker 2: Skilled YouTuber and podcaster.
Speaker 1: And they've been together for a long time. They're only
Speaker 1: young about our age, but they've been together for about
Speaker 1: fourteen years. They've got two boys, both of whom are
Speaker 1: quite old. They're like almost teenagers now. So it was
Speaker 1: great to speak to two parents who are our age,
Speaker 1: but much further down the line of their parenting journey.
Speaker 2: And their parenting style seemed very relaxed.
Speaker 4: Very children most two chill anyway, enjoy Welcome.
Speaker 1: To three doting dads and one doting mum. I am Maddie, Jay, I'm.
Speaker 5: Ash, I'm James, and I'm Claire.
Speaker 1: This is a podcast all about parenting.
Speaker 2: It's the good, the bad, and the relatable.
Speaker 1: And if you've come wanting any type of advice, I
Speaker 1: have to tell you right now. I'm going to stop
Speaker 1: you in your tracks and say, unfortunately, today we don't
Speaker 1: give any None will be given. Maybe the Buckleys will
Speaker 1: have some advice for us. They have got slightly older
Speaker 1: kids than what we have, Matt, So we've come here.
Speaker 1: James and Claire, wanting to get some advice from yourselves,
Speaker 1: because Ash and I we both have two kids, each
Speaker 1: similar ages about five and three ish two ish three
Speaker 1: three two. I like that we're looking to you.
Speaker 5: You've come to the right place. Yeah. Absolutely, I've got
Speaker 5: all the secrets. I know exactly what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: Before we go into your kids. I do want to know.
Speaker 1: I like a love story, and i'd like to see
Speaker 1: if you can cast your memories back to when you
Speaker 1: first met. Was it like thirteen or fourteen, fifteen years ago?
Speaker 5: Maybe fourteen years fourteen?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, fourteen years flown by the two of you
Speaker 1: locked eyes in the room. Do you remember Was it
Speaker 1: love at first sight?
Speaker 5: Pretty much was? Yeah. I would have said I don't
Speaker 5: like really going or mushy and stuff, but it was.
Speaker 5: It was pretty much. Well obviously, you know. First of all,
Speaker 5: I was like, good golly, that's an attractive lady. My lord,
Speaker 5: let's go and talk to her. And then we started talking,
Speaker 5: and about two minutes into the conversation, we'd start talking
Speaker 5: about music and the Beatles, and I was like, all right, well,
Speaker 5: I'm just in love with you now, that's it.
Speaker 2: What about you? Claire? It was it love? At first
Speaker 2: sight when you saw James.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I heard there's something you really loved about his hair.
Speaker 6: I do I love it, I mean not today.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm getting told off because listen, no offense, guys.
Speaker 5: But I couldn't be bothered to have a shower. I've
Speaker 5: got to have one tomorrow. I don't like to shower
Speaker 5: too much, too much. Heart.
Speaker 2: No, it's not good for the skin.
Speaker 5: It's not my skin. So I just stuck a little
Speaker 5: wooly hat on. And you're a bit angry about it.
Speaker 1: I think he looks fain.
Speaker 2: I thought you've really dudged yourself out for this.
Speaker 5: Thank you cheers guys.
Speaker 1: When you guys had your first conversation, was was it
Speaker 1: then in there that you said, hey, can we do
Speaker 1: this again? Can we see each other once more?
Speaker 6: It was pretty instant that we were about like, okay,
Speaker 6: I guess this is it then, and we were like, yeah,
Speaker 6: I guess. So we very quickly talked about We.
Speaker 5: Met in a different town to where we both live,
Speaker 5: so we were both like away, we were both out away,
Speaker 5: and I was like, well, I'm going to go home now,
Speaker 5: do you want to just come home with me? All
Speaker 5: the way and it was like miles and miles away.
Speaker 5: It was a couple of hundred miles away.
Speaker 2: Whereabouts were you?
Speaker 6: We were in Liverpool and England and James.
Speaker 5: What is it so southeast?
Speaker 6: Yeah, and obviously I'm from Scotland. So yeah, rather than
Speaker 6: going back up, I went I went back down with
Speaker 6: Gems and that was that.
Speaker 5: It took everything in me to not do it, but
Speaker 5: I went back down. Joke.
Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly it was trust me. I had to hold
Speaker 2: my tongue on that too.
Speaker 6: That's why I said back down. Yeah, because I nearly
Speaker 6: said I went down with you.
Speaker 5: I'm sweating a little bit.
Speaker 6: It was probably sorry, do you swear on this?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: You Australian Claire, don't you worry?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 5: Good? Fuck, my.
Speaker 1: Very good, very good. The listeners will be like, don't
Speaker 1: know if that was ash or do you remember how
Speaker 1: soon it was that you started talking about the idea
Speaker 1: of having kids.
Speaker 6: Yeah, pretty much straight away.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it wasn't in the car ride.
Speaker 5: Well pretty much because listen, even though I know that
Speaker 5: sounds a bit weird. It was more that it's quick.
Speaker 1: I'll be honest, it's very quick.
Speaker 5: It was more that we were you know, we're both
Speaker 5: huge Beetles fans and fans, and that's basically the cornerstone
Speaker 5: of our whole relationship. Our children wouldn't exist if that
Speaker 5: band didn't exist. So bizarre when you think like that.
Speaker 3: They weren't conceived during the Beatles, were they?
Speaker 2: They were born.
Speaker 5: To be born to the Beatles, both of them.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah, So Harrison was born to Sergeant Peppers and dud
Speaker 6: was born to ha jud which is how he got
Speaker 6: his name. But straight away, when we were chatting a
Speaker 6: bit the Beatles and music and all that sort of stuff,
Speaker 6: I said to James, just to sort of off the
Speaker 6: cuff remark, I was like, my first born, if it's
Speaker 6: a boy, I want to call him Harrison after George
Speaker 6: Harrison and James just sort of went yeah, yeah, that's fine.
Speaker 6: And I was like, oh, okay, so we're doing this toge.
Speaker 5: For me, because that was what it was because when
Speaker 5: we first started talking about the Beatles and I don't
Speaker 5: I don't want this to become a Beatles.
Speaker 2: We're actually going to change the name.
Speaker 5: I did a little test where I said, well, who's
Speaker 5: your favorite Beatle? And I was expecting her to go, well,
Speaker 5: I really like Paul or I really like John because
Speaker 5: that's what most people say or ring. And then she said,
Speaker 5: I love my favorite was is George George Harrison And
Speaker 5: I was like, that's mine, that's my Yeah, George was
Speaker 5: meant to favorite beatle because.
Speaker 6: He's very high. He's very easy to please with James.
Speaker 5: In my opinion, I like George. Two kids at a playground.
Speaker 5: Who's your favorite? Power?
Speaker 2: The red one?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 2: Answer to that?
Speaker 1: Pink one?
Speaker 4: Pink?
Speaker 3: And I mean you fell pregnant with Harrison pretty quick
Speaker 3: after you guys met.
Speaker 2: So I've heard. Was it six months?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And you were you were quite young as well, like
Speaker 2: early twenties.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I was twenty just on twenty two when I was
Speaker 6: when I got pregnant, So yeah, I was the same.
Speaker 5: Age as my parents when they had me.
Speaker 1: What I think was it, were your friends your peers,
Speaker 1: were they getting they settling down at a similar age,
Speaker 1: or were you the first lot to have kids?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 6: We were definitely the first. I mean I did a
Speaker 6: couple of people that I went to school with that
Speaker 6: had tied a kid, droned at the same time. Definitely
Speaker 6: the people that we knew that like your mates and Mummtes.
Speaker 6: We were very early compared to them.
Speaker 2: Some of our friends just yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 6: Hurry up, yeah, and we're we're done.
Speaker 5: No, I was trying to warn them. I was going,
Speaker 5: keep going, don't don't ruin now, don't stop it. Now
Speaker 5: you can still do all the stuff you want to do.
Speaker 5: And you know, if you if you get on a plane,
Speaker 5: it doesn't it doesn't cost four times as much anymore.
Speaker 5: That's what I think about as well, because we are
Speaker 5: still young. We could have another one, couldn't we really?
Speaker 5: But I always go, it's another plane ticket. Yeah, when
Speaker 5: you holiday, they cost.
Speaker 2: An just a plane ticket.
Speaker 1: It's tough though, because like we we always talk about,
Speaker 1: Ash has had the snip. I'm on the fence a
Speaker 1: bit with a third. But everyone I've spoken to every
Speaker 1: parent that is now in a position where they can't
Speaker 1: and have kids, but they've got two kids. I think
Speaker 1: I'm denied about a third. They all say the same thing,
Speaker 1: which is we regret not having a third.
Speaker 2: Really, do you try and talk to me into having
Speaker 2: a one.
Speaker 1: I'm just wondering. I'm just wondering if you guys have
Speaker 1: ever you know, you're you're like, you're debating, do we
Speaker 1: have a third?
Speaker 5: Do we?
Speaker 1: How do you make that decision of like we're calling
Speaker 1: it quits.
Speaker 6: We did talk about it for a little while. So
Speaker 6: we had both our boys really quickly together. I mean
Speaker 6: it was like months or something. Yeah, I was twenty two,
Speaker 6: got pregnant hud Harrison at twenty three, pregnant at twenty
Speaker 6: four hundred at twenty five. So it was just like
Speaker 6: this conscious wow. And then between that we got married.
Speaker 6: We bought our house. So that's that stuff. So after
Speaker 6: jud was born, obviously we were like.
Speaker 2: Bread just relaxed for a little bit, just cap practicing. Well.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and then I.
Speaker 5: Keep telling you I'm not going to get any better
Speaker 5: if you don't let me do it.
Speaker 6: I think for a lot of while, I think, especially
Speaker 6: because we had two boys, were dead talk. Maybe when
Speaker 6: dud was maybe four or five, we sort of I'm
Speaker 6: denied a little better, But should we try for a girl?
Speaker 6: Maybe maybe not. But I think eventually we just decided no,
Speaker 6: we're good.
Speaker 5: It's another eighteen years on the sentence, isn't it. You
Speaker 5: know you've got to start because by the time our
Speaker 5: boys are like sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, we'll still be in
Speaker 5: our early forties. And I'm looking forward to you know,
Speaker 5: Friday evening, just going to them, right, me and your mum,
Speaker 5: We're fucking off for the weekend. We're going to go
Speaker 5: and do all that stuff that we couldn't do for
Speaker 5: the last sort of eighteen years.
Speaker 2: Yeah, as long as as long as the.
Speaker 5: House looks like this when we get back, then all
Speaker 5: call the question. Don't call us, don't get into any trouble.
Speaker 5: We'll see you on Monday.
Speaker 1: Well, it happens so quick. And if you guys are
Speaker 1: the first out of your friends to have kids, and
Speaker 1: you guys, have you got all of a sudden you
Speaker 1: got two kids. Are you thinking to yourself like, shit,
Speaker 1: what have we done? We're now like you know, we
Speaker 1: can't go out, we can't party as much there I'm breastfeeding.
Speaker 6: Yeah. The difference between one and two is huge, absolutely huge,
Speaker 6: Like when when we heard Harrison. I mean not that
Speaker 6: we had them very long before jud turned up, but
Speaker 6: he was almost too when Judge came along. So for
Speaker 6: those first two years we could still do you know,
Speaker 6: you want to go to a gig or go it
Speaker 6: for the day, It's so much easier just packing one
Speaker 6: up and you know, getting them in the car and
Speaker 6: go and doing things when you've got to it's just
Speaker 6: about like, we'll just stay. We'll just stay.
Speaker 3: A logistical nightmare. Yeah, twice as many things about. As
Speaker 3: James puts it, it's like an extra plane ticket.
Speaker 5: It wasn't really a big deal because I like, my
Speaker 5: favorite thing to do is to sit on my couch
Speaker 5: and watch television with a beer. And it wasn't you know,
Speaker 5: when the kids turned out, it wasn't really a drastic
Speaker 5: change of situation for me personally. I'd still just watch
Speaker 5: movies and things in my house because I've got everything
Speaker 5: that I want in my house. That's the point of
Speaker 5: a house, isn't it. You put all your stuff that
Speaker 5: you like in that house so you don't have to
Speaker 5: go outside. I'm like that when if we do go
Speaker 5: on holiday, do it. It's nice, like sitting by a
Speaker 5: pool and stuff in the sun. It's good for about
Speaker 5: forty five minutes. Then I get bored and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 5: all my video games and stuff are at home, all
Speaker 5: my stuff, so yeah, all my toys and things.
Speaker 3: With both of your kids, they do they have the
Speaker 3: same sort of personality or do they? Do you find
Speaker 3: that you know, one is more like Claire and one's
Speaker 3: more like James or Yeah, they're totally definitely.
Speaker 5: I think they've got bits of each of us in them,
Speaker 5: but they are totally different.
Speaker 6: The funny thing because you see quels.
Speaker 5: One of them is great, one of them.
Speaker 6: You see quite a lot of people always talk about
Speaker 6: the second born, like your first born is always great,
Speaker 6: and then your second born comes along in their little savage.
Speaker 6: But that was true for jud when he was little,
Speaker 6: but no, it's it's changing. So Jude or youngest is
Speaker 6: just so lovely and reserved and really concerned about everybody
Speaker 6: else's feelings and.
Speaker 5: It's really like wants everybody to.
Speaker 6: Be happy and all that sort of stuff. Whereas our
Speaker 6: oldest has always been a bet. It's because he's always
Speaker 6: had a bet of this going on.
Speaker 5: He's always because he had like almost a couple of
Speaker 5: years of it just being him and he and he
Speaker 5: was the first say he was the first grandchild. He
Speaker 5: was the first one about out of all of our
Speaker 5: mites that like, he was like this special thing that
Speaker 5: turned out that everyone was soon the man character.
Speaker 6: Yes, that's how we describe them.
Speaker 5: I'm always he tells me a story and stuff, and
Speaker 5: I'm always talking about when did this happen in Harrison
Speaker 5: the movie because in his head, in his head, he
Speaker 5: is just the main character of his film. Whereas Jude
Speaker 5: sometimes you don't even know if he's in the house,
Speaker 5: Like he's just he's just cool, just getting on with
Speaker 5: his own thing. He doesn't need any attention, he doesn't
Speaker 5: need anyone to tell him how great he is, whereas
Speaker 5: the other one needs a little bit of oh that's
Speaker 5: really good.
Speaker 1: Well tone, Well, you know, I've always wanted to know
Speaker 1: at this age my eldest is five and unfortunate that
Speaker 1: I can really, within reason, I can behave in any
Speaker 1: which way, and she's always going to love me at
Speaker 1: this age. But when the kids get older, did you
Speaker 1: ever find yourself going, oh shit, I'm really I'm drifting
Speaker 1: apart now from my child as they grow into like,
Speaker 1: you know, being previewscent.
Speaker 5: Well, I feel, from what we've been told, we're not
Speaker 5: we're just about to maybe enter that thing.
Speaker 6: Yeah so Hardison's twelve, But.
Speaker 5: I find it really difficult. We're all really close. We
Speaker 5: do hang out with each other a lot, and we
Speaker 5: were genuinely mates, like all of us as a family,
Speaker 5: we all just really like each other. Because that's the
Speaker 5: thing as well. You might not like them. You might
Speaker 5: not because they are there, even though you know your child,
Speaker 5: they are a completely different human being. You don't like
Speaker 5: everyone on the planet.
Speaker 2: You might not you know exactly exactly point You might.
Speaker 5: Just sort of have a slightly different sense of humor
Speaker 5: and things just go well anyway. But no, we all
Speaker 5: get on great and we love hanging out with each other,
Speaker 5: eating together, watching films together, taking a piss out of
Speaker 5: each other.
Speaker 6: But I do see a little bit of a change
Speaker 6: just with so Jud's ten and Harrison's twelve. He's going
Speaker 6: to be Harrison's going to be thirteen this year. So
Speaker 6: I do see a little bit of a change just
Speaker 6: between the two boys, where you know, jud will still
Speaker 6: kiss me on the lips and you know, like Maine
Speaker 6: cuddle and in and all that sort of stuff, and
Speaker 6: Harrison still does a little bit. But you can sort
Speaker 6: of see it changing a little bit. You know, you
Speaker 6: get jud at the at the bath or you grab
Speaker 6: his table for him whatever, and he's like yeah, Whereas
Speaker 6: then you can see harness and sort of like can
Speaker 6: you just leave the table like I can do it.
Speaker 6: I'll manage. So those little things are sort.
Speaker 1: Of changing he's becoming a little man, yeah, independent.
Speaker 6: Yeah, which breaks my heart a little bit.
Speaker 3: James, you mentioned that you're all mates when it comes
Speaker 3: to having to discipline them. Is it much harder that
Speaker 3: you're all mates?
Speaker 5: Yeah? No, it's it's weird that we were talking about
Speaker 5: this actually, and I brought it up in one of
Speaker 5: our vlogs as a sort of little discussion so that
Speaker 5: people can comment and stuff, because I saw a clip
Speaker 5: on online of Whoopi Goldberg just saying you cannot you
Speaker 5: cannot be friends with your children. You have they have
Speaker 5: to know that you are an adult and you're in schode.
Speaker 5: And I was like, that's why, that's why parenting is difficult,
Speaker 5: because you know, that's why it's really really hard, because
Speaker 5: you got to be both. You've got to be their mate,
Speaker 5: and you've got to be able to tell them right
Speaker 5: knock yet on the head and they listen to you.
Speaker 5: That's where it's really tough. Otherwise it be easy, easy
Speaker 5: to just be you know, classic miserable old dad that's
Speaker 5: just there to turns up whenever they need a telling off,
Speaker 5: or easy to just be a mate and just go, oh,
Speaker 5: I don't know how to deal with this. Can I
Speaker 5: just get you some ice cream. Really difficult to do both.
Speaker 2: And it's a fine line.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it is, and it is you know, and some days,
Speaker 5: some days.
Speaker 6: Some days your friends all day and some days you're
Speaker 6: you know, it's not so great. I definitely think we again,
Speaker 6: especially we're an older one who's not you know, at
Speaker 6: high school and stuff, and you do have and he's
Speaker 6: got his own phone now what he just got when
Speaker 6: he when he started secondary SCO. So there are these
Speaker 6: different situations that we've never dealt with before where it's
Speaker 6: sort of like, you know, you have to be really
Speaker 6: responsible with us, and you have and if you know,
Speaker 6: you do something stupid or you lose it or whatever
Speaker 6: it might be, there's going to be consequences because this
Speaker 6: is real grown up stuff now and you have to
Speaker 6: you know. So there's a little bit of a difference.
Speaker 6: But I think in terms of discipline and I think
Speaker 6: we're I think we walk the line quite well. They
Speaker 6: know what they can and can. Obviously they push well,
Speaker 6: Harrison push his boundaries, but you know, I think he
Speaker 6: knows when mom and dad aren't happy with and because
Speaker 6: we are mates, that upsets him as well because he
Speaker 6: wants to just come in and have fun and plays
Speaker 6: guitar with his dad and stuff. So it's it's better
Speaker 6: just to do what you're supposed to do.
Speaker 5: It's probably only been a couple of times.
Speaker 6: That I've really had to.
Speaker 1: But other than that, like what's going for punishment?
Speaker 5: Take the eyepad or just see what they're doing, Yeah,
Speaker 5: what they're.
Speaker 2: Take his guitar away, I lock mine in the cupboard,
Speaker 2: find something.
Speaker 5: Find something that they really love, find they really love,
Speaker 5: and just burn it in front of.
Speaker 6: Them, barbecue the guitar.
Speaker 3: We're talking on the way here, and I was saying
Speaker 3: that my dad used to threaten me with if I
Speaker 3: didn't put the dishes away, he'd put them in my bed.
Speaker 1: Nice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that.
Speaker 5: I like that sort of physical really making a point. Yeah,
Speaker 5: because it would have been easier for him to have
Speaker 5: just done the dishes and said next time, do you
Speaker 5: want to do the dishes you are so or something
Speaker 5: like that, do you want to make more noise? So
Speaker 5: we're just plugging in the.
Speaker 1: Laptop, Claire, they're wrestling with an intruder.
Speaker 5: But I like the commitment to really going above and beyond. Right,
Speaker 5: I'm going to get all these dishes, and I'm going
Speaker 5: to put them in his bed. That's great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't have the It honestly scared me straight.
Speaker 2: That's it?
Speaker 5: Is it? Yeah?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 5: But luckily enough kids are quite cool. They're not there
Speaker 5: are right, really polite and nice young gentleman. Especially when
Speaker 5: we leave the house. Sometimes we tell people mate stories
Speaker 5: about them and what they got up to and what
Speaker 5: they said and things, and they can't see it. Do
Speaker 5: not see that?
Speaker 2: Is there a story that comes to mind?
Speaker 5: Just general cheekiness, just like Harrison's at that age where
Speaker 5: he can he is quite bright, which is which can
Speaker 5: be quite dangerous in a kid because he can he
Speaker 5: can tie you up in logic a little bit and
Speaker 5: then you just and then sometimes all I've got to go.
Speaker 6: Back is more about you.
Speaker 5: But now you know what he's like though when you
Speaker 5: you'll have an argument with him and then he will
Speaker 5: say something that makes total sense and you'll go, well,
Speaker 5: I don't care about that. I'm the dad in the
Speaker 5: order sun. So just that's how this works. Just do
Speaker 5: what I'd say, That's all I want.
Speaker 2: How dare they develop a brain?
Speaker 5: But when we go out with when we're out about,
Speaker 5: people are always complimenting us to this. How and you
Speaker 5: know we haven't done anything. We haven't really, I don't
Speaker 5: know why. It's just lucky, you know, speak for yourself. No,
Speaker 5: come on, we haven't really.
Speaker 6: All these years, well you've been winking on.
Speaker 5: It's like what you're saying is that's from The in
Speaker 5: Between Us.
Speaker 3: But I'm aware of the scene. I'm aware of the scene.
Speaker 3: Let's just quickly touch on that. Do you do your
Speaker 3: kids are getting older? Do they know who you are?
Speaker 2: James?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 6: No, they're always constantly tailing them.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm always.
Speaker 1: Who wants to watch another episode?
Speaker 5: Know when they when they are naughty? I do. I
Speaker 5: do get them to polish my awards. No, that's not true.
Speaker 1: But do you have to explain to them, like you know,
Speaker 1: I guess because of people coming up to you in public,
Speaker 1: you have to say, you know, not only you know,
Speaker 1: get the TV show, but you've got the podcast, You've
Speaker 1: got the vlogs. So that much draw a lot of
Speaker 1: eyeballs when you're out in the street.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, but they've grown up with it. Yeah.
Speaker 6: I mean James was doing The in Between Us before
Speaker 6: we even met, so they've since they were little, they've
Speaker 6: always known. You know, people want pictures with their dad
Speaker 6: for some reason. And then as they got older. I
Speaker 6: mean when we went to Australia to film the second film,
Speaker 6: the kids were there. Jud was just a baby, but
Speaker 6: Harrison was, you know, a little toddler. So he he
Speaker 6: knows it and it's you know, it's sort of cliched,
Speaker 6: but it's bolden for him, like he couldn't care less
Speaker 6: used to it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, the kids had not seen anything. They've not seen
Speaker 5: any They've never seen the in between us. They know
Speaker 5: of it, they know they know the boys stuff, they've
Speaker 5: never seen it. I mean, I listen, I'm pretty lazy
Speaker 5: when it comes to parents in but I do you know,
Speaker 5: I do feel like we have social services turned up
Speaker 5: at the door if the watch that they've been watching
Speaker 5: The Between Claire.
Speaker 1: When it comes to keeping the Spark alive, can you
Speaker 1: give us any advice there?
Speaker 2: Please?
Speaker 5: The Spark life. As soon as I hear those words,
Speaker 5: oh go on, then that's it. I know, I know
Speaker 5: she loves me.
Speaker 6: Just make it quick, carry out.
Speaker 5: And that's it. That's that. I cannot imagine being more excited.
Speaker 5: That's that's that's.
Speaker 1: There's a hint of sarcasm.
Speaker 5: No, not no sarcasm at all. Whatsoever. That's my best dye.
Speaker 5: That's how that's how I want to go out. That's
Speaker 5: how I want to die.
Speaker 6: Well, we'll see if we can make that happen. Keeping
Speaker 6: the spark alive, I don't know. We're not we're not
Speaker 6: very sparky people. You know, we're we're setting our ways
Speaker 6: over here. We're old, the kids are older. We've got
Speaker 6: you know, the dishwasher constantly needs empty.
Speaker 5: There's just stuff to be doning need for sparks.
Speaker 2: We are, we're just we're from the outside looking in.
Speaker 3: The banter that you guys have together is something that
Speaker 3: I think, like, I don't know, it's just so fluent
Speaker 3: and whenever I watch videos of you guys, it's like,
Speaker 3: I think that everyone should have that banter in their relationship.
Speaker 2: Would you agree with that? Do you guys?
Speaker 5: There's no spark. There's no spark.
Speaker 6: It's more like going back to the spir No, it's
Speaker 6: more like.
Speaker 5: A glowing ember that's constantly.
Speaker 2: Oh that's beautiful.
Speaker 5: It's just a little flicker there.
Speaker 6: It makes spark up.
Speaker 5: There might be something, you know, on a after we've
Speaker 5: had a.
Speaker 6: Couple of beers, birthday. No, I think I do think
Speaker 6: I say this quite a lot because we get that
Speaker 6: question a lot, like do you really get on as
Speaker 6: well as you know it looks like you're doing stuff?
Speaker 6: And we do, I mean obviously not twenty four seven.
Speaker 6: I mean he gets on my nerves a lot of
Speaker 6: the time.
Speaker 5: This is news to me. Yeah, you should have mentioned something.
Speaker 6: I just had to make him take a pawn. Shore
Speaker 6: was wearing a porn show to do this podcast.
Speaker 2: It's a bit not one of the would I like it?
Speaker 5: No, it's like a little Clint No.
Speaker 6: I was like, get that off.
Speaker 5: To wander up.
Speaker 2: I'm guessing it's cold there, right, it's a.
Speaker 6: Little bit chilly, not cold enough for a willy hatton
Speaker 6: a porn show. But I think I think what I
Speaker 6: would say is that we're genuinely friends, like we get
Speaker 6: on if you take if you take marriage at the
Speaker 6: equation and the whole like, oh we're together because we're
Speaker 6: in love and we're married and all that stuff. If
Speaker 6: you take that, me and James can you know, go
Speaker 6: to the pub and set in chat for four hours
Speaker 6: and have some drinks, we can watch a film, we
Speaker 6: can get a take like we just we genuinely enjoy
Speaker 6: spending time together. And he does I think we make
Speaker 6: each other laugh. We can we can have fun absolutely
Speaker 6: with the marriage stuff with it sex remember that, and
Speaker 6: I was a fun with it sex.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: I always think if only Ash would give me a blowjob,
Speaker 1: would be a match made.
Speaker 5: And hair.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm frigid. I'm frigid like that.
Speaker 5: That's it. I mean, as soon as as soon as
Speaker 5: our spokes realize we can just do that to each other,
Speaker 5: ladies are in trouble. The worst thing is is if
Speaker 5: we learn how to do it to ourselves, that's the
Speaker 5: breakdown of society.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have been practicing years. The order I get,
Speaker 2: the less flexible I get to.
Speaker 6: There was always that rumor at school that somebody could
Speaker 6: do it to themselves, wouldn't they.
Speaker 5: I'd never reach No matter how flexible are, I'd never
Speaker 5: be able to get there.
Speaker 3: Even though you're never going to get there, it's definitely
Speaker 3: worth a try, all right, Claire, Not into the self blood.
Speaker 2: Sorry.
Speaker 1: When you think back at the twelve years of parenting,
Speaker 1: is there anything that you think, Oh gosh, I wish
Speaker 1: I knew this twelve years ago before I embarked on
Speaker 1: this journey.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna say something, but it's so cliche and annoying,
Speaker 6: but it's so true. I genuinely wish because people tell
Speaker 6: you all the time, but I genuinely wish if I
Speaker 6: could go back in time. No, I genuinely wish I
Speaker 6: knew how fast it goes. And I know people tell
Speaker 6: you that all the time, like, oh, enjoy it and
Speaker 6: they're only little for so long and that sort of stuff.
Speaker 6: But every day when you're doing it, when you've got
Speaker 6: a two year old or three year old, every day
Speaker 6: you're like, this is I've been here for years, Like
Speaker 6: why is nothing? Why can nobodice still feed themselves or
Speaker 6: wipe their own us?
Speaker 5: And they are They're fucking useless. When they first turn
Speaker 5: as well, they can't heads up. They're just saying they're
Speaker 5: flopping about. You've got old their heads forums, So you go,
Speaker 5: where are you going to survive? You need to s.
Speaker 6: Before you know it, they're going to be a teenager
Speaker 6: and you know they're it. Really genuinely does just go
Speaker 6: sow quick? Makes me a boutside.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're in the thick of it, sort of two
Speaker 2: three year olds at.
Speaker 3: The moment where it's like this, I think that they're
Speaker 3: smarter than we give them credit. For because they're not
Speaker 3: that useless. I've seen my youngest, I've seen a fin
Speaker 3: for itself without me. But I know what you mean.
Speaker 3: And look, it does go really fast, like having you know,
Speaker 3: both met and I have five year olds.
Speaker 2: Now I look at photos from a couple of years
Speaker 2: ago and I go.
Speaker 3: Holy ship, like it went it was slow, But then
Speaker 3: you look back and it's like a holiday.
Speaker 1: Really, is there a phase that you missed the most?
Speaker 6: I really missed the toddler two three, two and three. Yeah,
Speaker 6: they were just so funny because the say, like, I've
Speaker 6: got this video that I watch of Judd, which is
Speaker 6: really bad, but he had for some reason he heard
Speaker 6: bullshit somewhere right the word bullshit, which isn't really something
Speaker 6: that we even see.
Speaker 5: It's quite an American, but.
Speaker 6: He just would not stop saying it. He was just
Speaker 6: walking around this bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, that's bullshit. And obviously,
Speaker 6: like you are laughing at the time, but you're like,
Speaker 6: that's very bad. You don't say that's a bad one,
Speaker 6: and you go through that. But just looking back at
Speaker 6: those things where they were just because they're not us,
Speaker 6: isn't they Toddlers are just.
Speaker 1: Insane little drunk people.
Speaker 6: Yeah, they are in they're hilarious. Yeah, so I do.
Speaker 6: I really like that.
Speaker 5: That's the problem when kids swear, though, because your immediate
Speaker 5: reaction is to laugh. It is funny, it's really oh yeah,
Speaker 5: it is funny.
Speaker 2: It's hilarious.
Speaker 5: But then it's too late that I don't even tell them.
Speaker 5: You can't turn around and go right, well, don't do that.
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 5: I laughed and found it really funny.
Speaker 6: Because if they get a laugh, understand, it's like you,
Speaker 6: if you get a laugh, you're going to keep doing
Speaker 6: it exactly.
Speaker 5: But I am. I am the kids whore. I don't
Speaker 5: know what it is about my memory, but the kids,
Speaker 5: the way the kids are now, just how I always
Speaker 5: remember them. And I've said that for years. I've just
Speaker 5: been like, well, they're just like they are now. So
Speaker 5: like Jude now he's going to be eleven this year.
Speaker 5: Yeah's baby Jude, he's going to be eleven this year. Yeah,
Speaker 5: and like and like Covid was only well I keep
Speaker 5: saying only a couple of years ago, four years ago
Speaker 5: this year, so he was six, he was six years old, Yeah,
Speaker 5: but Covid was only last week.
Speaker 6: I think the Covid thing I think it did put
Speaker 6: like a little weird time warp on everybody's timelines, because
Speaker 6: I did just feel like I messed a year. I
Speaker 6: was kind of like, oh, like before you knew it,
Speaker 6: there were actually two years of don't we hadn't done anything.
Speaker 6: It was just it was odd.
Speaker 2: To not was I missed? I miss it.
Speaker 6: I loved that.
Speaker 5: I was in lockdown. I was in lockdown way before
Speaker 5: it was cool to be in.
Speaker 2: Lockdown, before it was a fad. I been doing this
Speaker 2: for you.
Speaker 5: I got a phone call it was like, Oh, it's
Speaker 5: good to see I haven't seen you for ages. How
Speaker 5: are you getting on in lockdown? I was like, what
Speaker 5: are you talking about?
Speaker 6: You don't even know what was going on.
Speaker 5: You're not allowed to leave your house, that's.
Speaker 6: Fine, allowed to leave your host, not allowed to see people,
Speaker 6: you're not allowed to go in where me and James.
Speaker 5: Were like, per correct, brilliant, brilliant.
Speaker 1: We just want to say thank you so much for your.
Speaker 5: Time, thank you for having us.
Speaker 1: It sounds like you've got it fucking dialed reckon.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it doesn't feel like it.
Speaker 3: Well, just so you know, from the outside looking in,
Speaker 3: it looks like you're killing it.
Speaker 5: It's all we're doing though, so we're doing. You can't.
Speaker 5: It's difficult to give child advice anyway, because they're all different,
Speaker 5: these kids, they've all got their own combination. And you learn, Like,
Speaker 5: that's what I say to someone just about to have
Speaker 5: a child, because it is daunting and it's scary. You
Speaker 5: want to be a good and you'll learn, you'll learn
Speaker 5: what works, you'll learn what doesn't, and you'll be fine.
Speaker 5: You'll be absolutely fine.
Speaker 2: Heard of the very confident?
Speaker 6: Many you surprisingly confident?
Speaker 2: Have you heard?
Speaker 5: Have you guys heard of the Jeremy Carle Show over Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I lived in London for four years. I watched
Speaker 1: it a bit.
Speaker 5: It was this talk show and it's all these nuts. No,
Speaker 5: but I just used to because I remember one day
Speaker 5: I was like, fuck, I'm going to be a dad
Speaker 5: and I'm not. I've never been good at anything, so
Speaker 5: I really imagine I'm going to make a mess of this.
Speaker 5: And I was watching the Jeremy Carle Show during the
Speaker 5: day and I was.
Speaker 6: Just like Jerry Springer.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like Jerry Springer, you get sort.
Speaker 2: Of oh okay, okay, ye're trashy.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I was just thinking, well, these have all
Speaker 5: got kids, they're all still alive and stuff.
Speaker 6: And that was the bar and I was like, you
Speaker 6: can do it.
Speaker 5: I can do it.
Speaker 3: There's got to be a little bit better than that.
Speaker 5: Married couple coming on and the husband beyond and he'll
Speaker 5: be like you slept with my grandma and be like
Speaker 5: these guys are all still you.
Speaker 2: Work it out.
Speaker 1: There needs to be like when you like when you
Speaker 1: leave hospital, it's like you get your blanket, you get
Speaker 1: the goodie bag, and that should be like a DVD
Speaker 1: of Jerry mc like, if you ever feeling stressed out,
Speaker 1: watch episode just stay up grandma.
Speaker 6: And you're a fane.
Speaker 2: That's solid. Advice is solid.
Speaker 1: Thanks again, guys, guys jumping on, well, how did you
Speaker 1: find that big guy? That was good, big big man
Speaker 1: our first English guess and our first couple that we've
Speaker 1: had on the podcast, which is I'd like to do
Speaker 1: more couples and interviewing.
Speaker 2: Okay, Laurel, look out see.
Speaker 1: Where things go. But yeah, nicest, nice to speak to
Speaker 1: others who are just doing a bloody great job at
Speaker 1: parenting now. That was was great to talk to them.
Speaker 1: If you have any other people individuals that you think, hey,
Speaker 1: they'd be great to have on the podcast as a guest.
Speaker 1: Please send him away either in our DMS or our email.
Speaker 1: I believe hello hello at two Doting Dads dot com.
Speaker 2: It'll be in the show in.
Speaker 1: The show notes.
Speaker 3: We'll also put in the show notes a link to
Speaker 3: James and Claire's YouTube and their.
Speaker 2: Podcast why Not, Why Not? Why Not?
Speaker 1: Very generous of you. I'm a generous guy, not a
Speaker 1: generous guy, and as always asking quietly for you to just,
Speaker 1: you know, please review, subscribe a few stars. And I'm
Speaker 1: about to ship myself with this salmon, so I'm going
Speaker 1: to get out of here.
Speaker 2: I've already shit myself, so I'm good.
Speaker 1: Okay. Two Doting Adds podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of
Speaker 1: country throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 3: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
Speaker 3: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
Speaker 3: peoples today.
Speaker 2: This episode was recorded on gadagal Land