WEBVTT - #55 BONUS Three Doting Dads and One Doting Mum feat. The Buckleys 0:00:00.560 --> 0:00:03.800 You know how you got done with the salmon today. 0:00:04.080 --> 0:00:06.080 I did get done with the salmon before. 0:00:05.800 --> 0:00:10.200 I came here for this record. Had a salmon Hi salmon, 0:00:10.240 --> 0:00:14.080 and I opened the lid off the takeaway container and 0:00:14.120 --> 0:00:18.600 I was like, oh, that's very fishy. And then I 0:00:18.640 --> 0:00:20.440 was like I was just eating it. I was like, well, 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:22.200 I'm starving, I've got I've got to eat this before 0:00:22.200 --> 0:00:24.640 i come for the record. And Laura, who was in 0:00:25.400 --> 0:00:27.000 the other end of the room, she was like, what 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:30.760 the fuck is that salmon? Will be the undoing of 0:00:30.800 --> 0:00:49.960 this show. Hey, welcome, you're listening to us. It's because 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:54.360 it's a Monday, and that's weird. It's a bonus episode day. 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:57.960 Yeah, and we have really really special guests excited about 0:00:57.960 --> 0:00:58.360 this one. 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:01.880 They go by the Buckley's. One is James Buckler and 0:01:01.880 --> 0:01:02.800 the other is Claire. 0:01:03.080 --> 0:01:05.640 You may know James Buckley is as Jay from The 0:01:05.680 --> 0:01:10.119 in Betweeners. And she told me you'd watched this series about. 0:01:10.080 --> 0:01:13.120 Three hundred times. I still have it on DVD. 0:01:13.680 --> 0:01:15.760 So are you like a little bit This is like 0:01:15.800 --> 0:01:17.760 meeting Michael Jackson Jason. 0:01:17.880 --> 0:01:20.280 Well, during this whole chat, I had an erection. Yeah, 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:24.400 they're lucky. You're lucky. We're all lucky. But they also 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:26.840 have a YouTube. 0:01:26.440 --> 0:01:29.480 As well as a podcast called In Sickness and in Health. 0:01:29.880 --> 0:01:31.760 Claire is a very. 0:01:31.880 --> 0:01:35.400 Skilled YouTuber and podcaster. 0:01:35.200 --> 0:01:37.319 And they've been together for a long time. They're only 0:01:37.400 --> 0:01:39.199 young about our age, but they've been together for about 0:01:39.200 --> 0:01:41.840 fourteen years. They've got two boys, both of whom are 0:01:41.920 --> 0:01:44.520 quite old. They're like almost teenagers now. So it was 0:01:44.560 --> 0:01:47.520 great to speak to two parents who are our age, 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:51.160 but much further down the line of their parenting journey. 0:01:50.840 --> 0:01:54.600 And their parenting style seemed very relaxed. 0:01:54.720 --> 0:02:09.960 Very children most two chill anyway, enjoy Welcome. 0:02:09.600 --> 0:02:13.639 To three doting dads and one doting mum. I am Maddie, Jay, I'm. 0:02:13.400 --> 0:02:15.760 Ash, I'm James, and I'm Claire. 0:02:16.040 --> 0:02:18.400 This is a podcast all about parenting. 0:02:18.480 --> 0:02:21.200 It's the good, the bad, and the relatable. 0:02:21.320 --> 0:02:23.680 And if you've come wanting any type of advice, I 0:02:23.720 --> 0:02:25.760 have to tell you right now. I'm going to stop 0:02:25.800 --> 0:02:28.880 you in your tracks and say, unfortunately, today we don't 0:02:28.880 --> 0:02:31.600 give any None will be given. Maybe the Buckleys will 0:02:31.600 --> 0:02:33.920 have some advice for us. They have got slightly older 0:02:34.000 --> 0:02:36.560 kids than what we have, Matt, So we've come here. 0:02:36.840 --> 0:02:39.959 James and Claire, wanting to get some advice from yourselves, 0:02:40.080 --> 0:02:43.760 because Ash and I we both have two kids, each 0:02:44.480 --> 0:02:48.239 similar ages about five and three ish two ish three 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:51.960 three two. I like that we're looking to you. 0:02:51.960 --> 0:02:54.600 You've come to the right place. Yeah. Absolutely, I've got 0:02:54.680 --> 0:02:58.840 all the secrets. I know exactly what I'm doing. 0:03:01.840 --> 0:03:04.000 Before we go into your kids. I do want to know. 0:03:04.240 --> 0:03:07.200 I like a love story, and i'd like to see 0:03:07.200 --> 0:03:09.400 if you can cast your memories back to when you 0:03:09.480 --> 0:03:14.280 first met. Was it like thirteen or fourteen, fifteen years ago? 0:03:14.360 --> 0:03:16.320 Maybe fourteen years fourteen? 0:03:16.440 --> 0:03:20.360 Yeah, yeah, fourteen years flown by the two of you 0:03:20.480 --> 0:03:22.560 locked eyes in the room. Do you remember Was it 0:03:22.600 --> 0:03:23.480 love at first sight? 0:03:23.919 --> 0:03:27.760 Pretty much was? Yeah. I would have said I don't 0:03:27.840 --> 0:03:31.480 like really going or mushy and stuff, but it was. 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:34.600 It was pretty much. Well obviously, you know. First of all, 0:03:34.600 --> 0:03:38.840 I was like, good golly, that's an attractive lady. My lord, 0:03:39.840 --> 0:03:43.320 let's go and talk to her. And then we started talking, 0:03:43.560 --> 0:03:46.640 and about two minutes into the conversation, we'd start talking 0:03:46.640 --> 0:03:50.120 about music and the Beatles, and I was like, all right, well, 0:03:50.400 --> 0:03:53.240 I'm just in love with you now, that's it. 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:56.240 What about you? Claire? It was it love? At first 0:03:56.240 --> 0:03:57.120 sight when you saw James. 0:03:57.200 --> 0:04:02.480 Yeah, I heard there's something you really loved about his hair. 0:04:02.960 --> 0:04:04.720 I do I love it, I mean not today. 0:04:05.400 --> 0:04:09.080 Yeah, I'm getting told off because listen, no offense, guys. 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:11.800 But I couldn't be bothered to have a shower. I've 0:04:11.800 --> 0:04:15.800 got to have one tomorrow. I don't like to shower 0:04:15.920 --> 0:04:17.960 too much, too much. Heart. 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:19.200 No, it's not good for the skin. 0:04:19.320 --> 0:04:25.000 It's not my skin. So I just stuck a little 0:04:25.000 --> 0:04:29.159 wooly hat on. And you're a bit angry about it. 0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:33.080 I think he looks fain. 0:04:33.920 --> 0:04:35.560 I thought you've really dudged yourself out for this. 0:04:35.920 --> 0:04:37.240 Thank you cheers guys. 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:42.599 When you guys had your first conversation, was was it 0:04:42.640 --> 0:04:44.320 then in there that you said, hey, can we do 0:04:44.360 --> 0:04:47.599 this again? Can we see each other once more? 0:04:48.120 --> 0:04:54.000 It was pretty instant that we were about like, okay, 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:56.560 I guess this is it then, and we were like, yeah, 0:04:56.880 --> 0:05:00.800 I guess. So we very quickly talked about We. 0:05:00.720 --> 0:05:02.760 Met in a different town to where we both live, 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:06.360 so we were both like away, we were both out away, 0:05:06.480 --> 0:05:08.880 and I was like, well, I'm going to go home now, 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:13.120 do you want to just come home with me? All 0:05:13.160 --> 0:05:15.719 the way and it was like miles and miles away. 0:05:15.720 --> 0:05:16.960 It was a couple of hundred miles away. 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:18.120 Whereabouts were you? 0:05:18.360 --> 0:05:22.600 We were in Liverpool and England and James. 0:05:23.640 --> 0:05:25.000 What is it so southeast? 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:29.480 Yeah, and obviously I'm from Scotland. So yeah, rather than 0:05:29.760 --> 0:05:33.840 going back up, I went I went back down with 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:35.880 Gems and that was that. 0:05:36.080 --> 0:05:38.040 It took everything in me to not do it, but 0:05:38.160 --> 0:05:39.320 I went back down. Joke. 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:43.960 Yeah, honestly it was trust me. I had to hold 0:05:44.000 --> 0:05:45.000 my tongue on that too. 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:49.800 That's why I said back down. Yeah, because I nearly 0:05:49.839 --> 0:05:51.360 said I went down with you. 0:05:52.080 --> 0:05:53.080 I'm sweating a little bit. 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:57.440 It was probably sorry, do you swear on this? 0:05:58.240 --> 0:05:58.440 Yeah? 0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:01.960 You Australian Claire, don't you worry? 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:02.560 Okay? 0:06:02.560 --> 0:06:03.800 Good? Fuck, my. 0:06:06.640 --> 0:06:09.599 Very good, very good. The listeners will be like, don't 0:06:09.640 --> 0:06:15.920 know if that was ash or do you remember how 0:06:16.040 --> 0:06:18.560 soon it was that you started talking about the idea 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:19.599 of having kids. 0:06:20.520 --> 0:06:22.320 Yeah, pretty much straight away. 0:06:22.520 --> 0:06:25.720 Yeah, it wasn't in the car ride. 0:06:25.560 --> 0:06:28.320 Well pretty much because listen, even though I know that 0:06:28.400 --> 0:06:31.799 sounds a bit weird. It was more that it's quick. 0:06:31.920 --> 0:06:33.160 I'll be honest, it's very quick. 0:06:33.200 --> 0:06:35.280 It was more that we were you know, we're both 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:40.000 huge Beetles fans and fans, and that's basically the cornerstone 0:06:40.000 --> 0:06:44.400 of our whole relationship. Our children wouldn't exist if that 0:06:44.480 --> 0:06:49.159 band didn't exist. So bizarre when you think like that. 0:06:49.240 --> 0:06:52.880 They weren't conceived during the Beatles, were they? 0:06:51.839 --> 0:06:54.040 They were born. 0:06:53.839 --> 0:06:55.760 To be born to the Beatles, both of them. 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:57.919 Yeah. 0:06:58.040 --> 0:07:02.360 Yeah, So Harrison was born to Sergeant Peppers and dud 0:07:02.680 --> 0:07:04.360 was born to ha jud which is how he got 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:08.200 his name. But straight away, when we were chatting a 0:07:08.200 --> 0:07:10.280 bit the Beatles and music and all that sort of stuff, 0:07:10.320 --> 0:07:13.680 I said to James, just to sort of off the 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:17.720 cuff remark, I was like, my first born, if it's 0:07:17.720 --> 0:07:20.080 a boy, I want to call him Harrison after George 0:07:20.080 --> 0:07:23.720 Harrison and James just sort of went yeah, yeah, that's fine. 0:07:24.120 --> 0:07:27.000 And I was like, oh, okay, so we're doing this toge. 0:07:27.520 --> 0:07:30.880 For me, because that was what it was because when 0:07:30.880 --> 0:07:32.960 we first started talking about the Beatles and I don't 0:07:32.960 --> 0:07:34.160 I don't want this to become a Beatles. 0:07:36.000 --> 0:07:37.200 We're actually going to change the name. 0:07:38.160 --> 0:07:42.119 I did a little test where I said, well, who's 0:07:42.120 --> 0:07:44.640 your favorite Beatle? And I was expecting her to go, well, 0:07:44.680 --> 0:07:47.760 I really like Paul or I really like John because 0:07:47.840 --> 0:07:51.680 that's what most people say or ring. And then she said, 0:07:51.720 --> 0:07:56.120 I love my favorite was is George George Harrison And 0:07:56.160 --> 0:08:00.520 I was like, that's mine, that's my Yeah, George was 0:08:00.560 --> 0:08:02.280 meant to favorite beatle because. 0:08:02.080 --> 0:08:05.960 He's very high. He's very easy to please with James. 0:08:05.520 --> 0:08:12.200 In my opinion, I like George. Two kids at a playground. 0:08:12.560 --> 0:08:13.720 Who's your favorite? Power? 0:08:15.000 --> 0:08:15.520 The red one? 0:08:15.920 --> 0:08:16.000 Right? 0:08:16.080 --> 0:08:16.480 Answer to that? 0:08:18.120 --> 0:08:18.600 Pink one? 0:08:18.680 --> 0:08:18.920 Pink? 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:24.240 And I mean you fell pregnant with Harrison pretty quick 0:08:24.280 --> 0:08:25.360 after you guys met. 0:08:25.200 --> 0:08:27.560 So I've heard. Was it six months? 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:28.680 Yeah? 0:08:30.000 --> 0:08:32.079 And you were you were quite young as well, like 0:08:32.360 --> 0:08:33.160 early twenties. 0:08:33.360 --> 0:08:33.560 Yeah. 0:08:33.600 --> 0:08:38.040 I was twenty just on twenty two when I was 0:08:38.080 --> 0:08:40.679 when I got pregnant, So yeah, I was the same. 0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:42.160 Age as my parents when they had me. 0:08:42.679 --> 0:08:46.280 What I think was it, were your friends your peers, 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:49.439 were they getting they settling down at a similar age, 0:08:49.480 --> 0:08:51.160 or were you the first lot to have kids? 0:08:51.240 --> 0:08:51.440 Yeah? 0:08:51.480 --> 0:08:55.320 We were definitely the first. I mean I did a 0:08:55.360 --> 0:08:57.199 couple of people that I went to school with that 0:08:58.160 --> 0:09:00.959 had tied a kid, droned at the same time. Definitely 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:05.360 the people that we knew that like your mates and Mummtes. 0:09:05.480 --> 0:09:08.719 We were very early compared to them. 0:09:08.840 --> 0:09:12.800 Some of our friends just yeah, it's crazy. 0:09:12.960 --> 0:09:15.000 Hurry up, yeah, and we're we're done. 0:09:15.360 --> 0:09:17.120 No, I was trying to warn them. I was going, 0:09:17.360 --> 0:09:20.920 keep going, don't don't ruin now, don't stop it. Now 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:25.360 you can still do all the stuff you want to do. 0:09:25.440 --> 0:09:28.280 And you know, if you if you get on a plane, 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:31.440 it doesn't it doesn't cost four times as much anymore. 0:09:32.559 --> 0:09:34.000 That's what I think about as well, because we are 0:09:34.000 --> 0:09:36.120 still young. We could have another one, couldn't we really? 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:40.760 But I always go, it's another plane ticket. Yeah, when 0:09:40.760 --> 0:09:43.360 you holiday, they cost. 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:45.680 An just a plane ticket. 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:51.480 It's tough though, because like we we always talk about, 0:09:51.000 --> 0:09:53.920 Ash has had the snip. I'm on the fence a 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:57.360 bit with a third. But everyone I've spoken to every 0:09:57.480 --> 0:10:00.000 parent that is now in a position where they can't 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:02.480 and have kids, but they've got two kids. I think 0:10:02.480 --> 0:10:05.360 I'm denied about a third. They all say the same thing, 0:10:05.400 --> 0:10:07.199 which is we regret not having a third. 0:10:07.480 --> 0:10:09.840 Really, do you try and talk to me into having 0:10:09.880 --> 0:10:10.120 a one. 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:12.599 I'm just wondering. I'm just wondering if you guys have 0:10:12.720 --> 0:10:15.120 ever you know, you're you're like, you're debating, do we 0:10:15.160 --> 0:10:15.760 have a third? 0:10:15.800 --> 0:10:16.080 Do we? 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:18.120 How do you make that decision of like we're calling 0:10:18.160 --> 0:10:18.640 it quits. 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:21.000 We did talk about it for a little while. So 0:10:21.080 --> 0:10:25.400 we had both our boys really quickly together. I mean 0:10:25.559 --> 0:10:28.680 it was like months or something. Yeah, I was twenty two, 0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:33.040 got pregnant hud Harrison at twenty three, pregnant at twenty 0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:35.760 four hundred at twenty five. So it was just like 0:10:35.800 --> 0:10:39.800 this conscious wow. And then between that we got married. 0:10:40.080 --> 0:10:43.640 We bought our house. So that's that stuff. So after 0:10:44.400 --> 0:10:46.760 jud was born, obviously we were like. 0:10:48.160 --> 0:10:53.559 Bread just relaxed for a little bit, just cap practicing. Well. 0:10:53.640 --> 0:10:56.559 Yeah, and then I. 0:10:56.559 --> 0:10:59.040 Keep telling you I'm not going to get any better 0:10:59.440 --> 0:11:00.560 if you don't let me do it. 0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:05.920 I think for a lot of while, I think, especially 0:11:05.960 --> 0:11:09.679 because we had two boys, were dead talk. Maybe when 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:12.760 dud was maybe four or five, we sort of I'm 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:15.360 denied a little better, But should we try for a girl? 0:11:15.559 --> 0:11:22.960 Maybe maybe not. But I think eventually we just decided no, 0:11:23.240 --> 0:11:23.680 we're good. 0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:26.800 It's another eighteen years on the sentence, isn't it. You 0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:30.719 know you've got to start because by the time our 0:11:30.760 --> 0:11:34.600 boys are like sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, we'll still be in 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:38.480 our early forties. And I'm looking forward to you know, 0:11:38.600 --> 0:11:42.000 Friday evening, just going to them, right, me and your mum, 0:11:42.000 --> 0:11:44.760 We're fucking off for the weekend. We're going to go 0:11:45.040 --> 0:11:47.040 and do all that stuff that we couldn't do for 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:49.720 the last sort of eighteen years. 0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:52.880 Yeah, as long as as long as the. 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:57.640 House looks like this when we get back, then all 0:11:57.679 --> 0:12:01.080 call the question. Don't call us, don't get into any trouble. 0:12:01.200 --> 0:12:03.560 We'll see you on Monday. 0:12:03.840 --> 0:12:06.040 Well, it happens so quick. And if you guys are 0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:08.720 the first out of your friends to have kids, and 0:12:08.760 --> 0:12:10.280 you guys, have you got all of a sudden you 0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:13.280 got two kids. Are you thinking to yourself like, shit, 0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:15.840 what have we done? We're now like you know, we 0:12:15.880 --> 0:12:19.480 can't go out, we can't party as much there I'm breastfeeding. 0:12:19.640 --> 0:12:24.120 Yeah. The difference between one and two is huge, absolutely huge, 0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:27.800 Like when when we heard Harrison. I mean not that 0:12:27.840 --> 0:12:29.840 we had them very long before jud turned up, but 0:12:30.120 --> 0:12:35.080 he was almost too when Judge came along. So for 0:12:35.160 --> 0:12:38.880 those first two years we could still do you know, 0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:41.000 you want to go to a gig or go it 0:12:41.120 --> 0:12:43.600 for the day, It's so much easier just packing one 0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:46.440 up and you know, getting them in the car and 0:12:46.480 --> 0:12:49.120 go and doing things when you've got to it's just 0:12:49.160 --> 0:12:52.560 about like, we'll just stay. We'll just stay. 0:12:52.559 --> 0:12:56.400 A logistical nightmare. Yeah, twice as many things about. As 0:12:56.520 --> 0:12:58.960 James puts it, it's like an extra plane ticket. 0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:04.120 It wasn't really a big deal because I like, my 0:13:04.120 --> 0:13:05.920 favorite thing to do is to sit on my couch 0:13:05.960 --> 0:13:10.160 and watch television with a beer. And it wasn't you know, 0:13:10.280 --> 0:13:12.320 when the kids turned out, it wasn't really a drastic 0:13:12.400 --> 0:13:15.920 change of situation for me personally. I'd still just watch 0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:18.839 movies and things in my house because I've got everything 0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:20.760 that I want in my house. That's the point of 0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:22.280 a house, isn't it. You put all your stuff that 0:13:22.320 --> 0:13:24.600 you like in that house so you don't have to 0:13:24.600 --> 0:13:27.760 go outside. I'm like that when if we do go 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:29.840 on holiday, do it. It's nice, like sitting by a 0:13:29.880 --> 0:13:31.600 pool and stuff in the sun. It's good for about 0:13:31.600 --> 0:13:34.280 forty five minutes. Then I get bored and I'm like, oh, 0:13:34.280 --> 0:13:36.719 all my video games and stuff are at home, all 0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:38.920 my stuff, so yeah, all my toys and things. 0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:41.520 With both of your kids, they do they have the 0:13:41.600 --> 0:13:44.040 same sort of personality or do they? Do you find 0:13:44.080 --> 0:13:46.760 that you know, one is more like Claire and one's 0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:49.320 more like James or Yeah, they're totally definitely. 0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:51.800 I think they've got bits of each of us in them, 0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:54.040 but they are totally different. 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:56.599 The funny thing because you see quels. 0:13:56.400 --> 0:13:59.000 One of them is great, one of them. 0:14:01.920 --> 0:14:03.760 You see quite a lot of people always talk about 0:14:03.760 --> 0:14:06.480 the second born, like your first born is always great, 0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:09.800 and then your second born comes along in their little savage. 0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:13.160 But that was true for jud when he was little, 0:14:13.840 --> 0:14:17.880 but no, it's it's changing. So Jude or youngest is 0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:24.680 just so lovely and reserved and really concerned about everybody 0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:26.000 else's feelings and. 0:14:26.240 --> 0:14:28.200 It's really like wants everybody to. 0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:30.360 Be happy and all that sort of stuff. Whereas our 0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:34.560 oldest has always been a bet. It's because he's always 0:14:34.600 --> 0:14:35.800 had a bet of this going on. 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:38.280 He's always because he had like almost a couple of 0:14:38.320 --> 0:14:40.680 years of it just being him and he and he 0:14:40.720 --> 0:14:43.120 was the first say he was the first grandchild. He 0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:45.000 was the first one about out of all of our 0:14:45.120 --> 0:14:47.680 mites that like, he was like this special thing that 0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:50.000 turned out that everyone was soon the man character. 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:52.440 Yes, that's how we describe them. 0:14:52.520 --> 0:14:54.440 I'm always he tells me a story and stuff, and 0:14:54.480 --> 0:14:57.400 I'm always talking about when did this happen in Harrison 0:14:57.480 --> 0:15:02.320 the movie because in his head, in his head, he 0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:06.200 is just the main character of his film. Whereas Jude 0:15:07.080 --> 0:15:08.840 sometimes you don't even know if he's in the house, 0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:13.440 Like he's just he's just cool, just getting on with 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:16.280 his own thing. He doesn't need any attention, he doesn't 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:18.840 need anyone to tell him how great he is, whereas 0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:21.160 the other one needs a little bit of oh that's 0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:21.800 really good. 0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:28.240 Well tone, Well, you know, I've always wanted to know 0:15:29.440 --> 0:15:33.080 at this age my eldest is five and unfortunate that 0:15:33.160 --> 0:15:36.200 I can really, within reason, I can behave in any 0:15:36.200 --> 0:15:38.240 which way, and she's always going to love me at 0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:41.160 this age. But when the kids get older, did you 0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:44.080 ever find yourself going, oh shit, I'm really I'm drifting 0:15:44.120 --> 0:15:46.920 apart now from my child as they grow into like, 0:15:47.080 --> 0:15:48.440 you know, being previewscent. 0:15:48.800 --> 0:15:52.160 Well, I feel, from what we've been told, we're not 0:15:52.440 --> 0:15:54.400 we're just about to maybe enter that thing. 0:15:54.480 --> 0:15:56.680 Yeah so Hardison's twelve, But. 0:15:56.600 --> 0:15:59.200 I find it really difficult. We're all really close. We 0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:02.640 do hang out with each other a lot, and we 0:16:02.640 --> 0:16:05.520 were genuinely mates, like all of us as a family, 0:16:05.560 --> 0:16:08.120 we all just really like each other. Because that's the 0:16:08.200 --> 0:16:10.880 thing as well. You might not like them. You might 0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:14.960 not because they are there, even though you know your child, 0:16:15.120 --> 0:16:17.120 they are a completely different human being. You don't like 0:16:17.160 --> 0:16:18.080 everyone on the planet. 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:22.400 You might not you know exactly exactly point You might. 0:16:22.240 --> 0:16:24.400 Just sort of have a slightly different sense of humor 0:16:24.440 --> 0:16:28.240 and things just go well anyway. But no, we all 0:16:28.280 --> 0:16:30.800 get on great and we love hanging out with each other, 0:16:30.880 --> 0:16:33.880 eating together, watching films together, taking a piss out of 0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:34.320 each other. 0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:37.040 But I do see a little bit of a change 0:16:37.240 --> 0:16:41.400 just with so Jud's ten and Harrison's twelve. He's going 0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:44.280 to be Harrison's going to be thirteen this year. So 0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:46.240 I do see a little bit of a change just 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:49.760 between the two boys, where you know, jud will still 0:16:51.280 --> 0:16:54.760 kiss me on the lips and you know, like Maine 0:16:54.840 --> 0:16:56.400 cuddle and in and all that sort of stuff, and 0:16:56.480 --> 0:16:59.480 Harrison still does a little bit. But you can sort 0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:03.200 of see it changing a little bit. You know, you 0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:07.080 get jud at the at the bath or you grab 0:17:07.119 --> 0:17:10.120 his table for him whatever, and he's like yeah, Whereas 0:17:10.119 --> 0:17:12.080 then you can see harness and sort of like can 0:17:12.119 --> 0:17:14.439 you just leave the table like I can do it. 0:17:14.480 --> 0:17:17.280 I'll manage. So those little things are sort. 0:17:17.119 --> 0:17:20.840 Of changing he's becoming a little man, yeah, independent. 0:17:20.440 --> 0:17:22.800 Yeah, which breaks my heart a little bit. 0:17:23.560 --> 0:17:25.720 James, you mentioned that you're all mates when it comes 0:17:25.760 --> 0:17:28.520 to having to discipline them. Is it much harder that 0:17:28.520 --> 0:17:29.120 you're all mates? 0:17:29.400 --> 0:17:33.359 Yeah? No, it's it's weird that we were talking about 0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:36.320 this actually, and I brought it up in one of 0:17:36.320 --> 0:17:40.080 our vlogs as a sort of little discussion so that 0:17:40.119 --> 0:17:42.919 people can comment and stuff, because I saw a clip 0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:48.120 on online of Whoopi Goldberg just saying you cannot you 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:51.280 cannot be friends with your children. You have they have 0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:53.520 to know that you are an adult and you're in schode. 0:17:53.680 --> 0:17:57.600 And I was like, that's why, that's why parenting is difficult, 0:17:57.880 --> 0:17:59.920 because you know, that's why it's really really hard, because 0:17:59.920 --> 0:18:02.320 you got to be both. You've got to be their mate, 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:04.360 and you've got to be able to tell them right 0:18:04.440 --> 0:18:06.760 knock yet on the head and they listen to you. 0:18:07.359 --> 0:18:11.439 That's where it's really tough. Otherwise it be easy, easy 0:18:11.480 --> 0:18:15.800 to just be you know, classic miserable old dad that's 0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:18.600 just there to turns up whenever they need a telling off, 0:18:19.200 --> 0:18:21.760 or easy to just be a mate and just go, oh, 0:18:21.800 --> 0:18:23.199 I don't know how to deal with this. Can I 0:18:23.280 --> 0:18:26.359 just get you some ice cream. Really difficult to do both. 0:18:26.880 --> 0:18:28.440 And it's a fine line. 0:18:28.800 --> 0:18:31.520 Yeah, it is, and it is you know, and some days, 0:18:32.320 --> 0:18:33.080 some days. 0:18:33.280 --> 0:18:35.880 Some days your friends all day and some days you're 0:18:36.240 --> 0:18:39.439 you know, it's not so great. I definitely think we again, 0:18:39.560 --> 0:18:41.880 especially we're an older one who's not you know, at 0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:44.920 high school and stuff, and you do have and he's 0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:47.520 got his own phone now what he just got when 0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:50.040 he when he started secondary SCO. So there are these 0:18:50.160 --> 0:18:54.720 different situations that we've never dealt with before where it's 0:18:54.720 --> 0:18:57.400 sort of like, you know, you have to be really 0:18:57.440 --> 0:18:59.879 responsible with us, and you have and if you know, 0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:02.840 you do something stupid or you lose it or whatever 0:19:02.880 --> 0:19:05.199 it might be, there's going to be consequences because this 0:19:05.280 --> 0:19:08.080 is real grown up stuff now and you have to 0:19:08.760 --> 0:19:11.600 you know. So there's a little bit of a difference. 0:19:11.600 --> 0:19:16.480 But I think in terms of discipline and I think 0:19:16.720 --> 0:19:19.200 we're I think we walk the line quite well. They 0:19:19.240 --> 0:19:22.720 know what they can and can. Obviously they push well, 0:19:23.119 --> 0:19:27.359 Harrison push his boundaries, but you know, I think he 0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:30.480 knows when mom and dad aren't happy with and because 0:19:31.160 --> 0:19:34.359 we are mates, that upsets him as well because he 0:19:34.440 --> 0:19:36.720 wants to just come in and have fun and plays 0:19:36.760 --> 0:19:39.679 guitar with his dad and stuff. So it's it's better 0:19:39.840 --> 0:19:41.440 just to do what you're supposed to do. 0:19:41.640 --> 0:19:44.000 It's probably only been a couple of times. 0:19:43.640 --> 0:19:45.320 That I've really had to. 0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:49.879 But other than that, like what's going for punishment? 0:19:50.600 --> 0:19:52.720 Take the eyepad or just see what they're doing, Yeah, 0:19:52.720 --> 0:19:53.240 what they're. 0:19:53.040 --> 0:19:55.120 Take his guitar away, I lock mine in the cupboard, 0:19:55.200 --> 0:19:56.120 find something. 0:19:56.880 --> 0:20:00.760 Find something that they really love, find they really love, 0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:01.960 and just burn it in front of. 0:20:01.880 --> 0:20:06.320 Them, barbecue the guitar. 0:20:06.720 --> 0:20:09.320 We're talking on the way here, and I was saying 0:20:09.320 --> 0:20:11.240 that my dad used to threaten me with if I 0:20:11.240 --> 0:20:13.160