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Speaker 1: Hello, what bit of the pala cleansa. My name is

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Speaker 1: Art Simone and I am coming to you live from

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Speaker 1: edinby Fringe. Now, yes, and welcome to the pala Clanser,

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Speaker 1: my darlings. Now what is the palate cleanser. Well, every

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Speaker 1: second week we take a moment to reflect on the

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Speaker 1: current happenings in my life. We like to talk to

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Speaker 1: you guys and interact with you, and also just give

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Speaker 1: me a break from a bit of makeup because drag

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Speaker 1: is absolutely devastating on my skin and I thought, you

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Speaker 1: know what, let me cleanse the face as well on

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Speaker 1: this palate cleanser here today. But as I said, I

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Speaker 1: am here live at Edinburgh Fringe, coming to you from

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Speaker 1: the University of Edinburgh because I have gone back to university.

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Speaker 1: Yes I am a mature age student apparently because we

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Speaker 1: are staying within the wonderful establishment called Pollock Hoo. And

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Speaker 1: yes it sounds just as beautiful as it looks, Polo calls.

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Speaker 1: I'm actually sitting here in my beautiful dorm looking out

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Speaker 1: the window at the moment, and I can see rolling

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Speaker 1: Scottish hills. I can see a beautiful lake and a

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Speaker 1: nice thick coating of bird pool on my window, which

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Speaker 1: I think really sums up Edinburgh Fringe as a whole.

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Speaker 1: It's glamorous, it's beautiful and it's a little bit dirty,

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Speaker 1: but hey, that's the fun thing. Now I am here

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Speaker 1: with our show Fountain Les in Lockdown, which is very exciting,

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Speaker 1: our Kath and Kim drag parody play which we've been

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Speaker 1: touring the nation with for the last couple of years,

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Speaker 1: and now we've gone international, baby, And I'll tell you what,

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Speaker 1: doing shows to a room full of Scots is very

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Speaker 1: daunting because we've managed to go and see some of

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Speaker 1: the shows here in Edinburgh Fringe and I tell you

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Speaker 1: what their accents are so thick. I have no idea

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Speaker 1: what they're saying, so I can only imagine how much

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Speaker 1: they're feeling the same thing here with us, because as

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Speaker 1: kathin Kima Fishinado's, our voices aren't exactly the easiest to understand,

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Speaker 1: but that language is quite useful. We went out and

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Speaker 1: saw a local drag show here, as we like to do,

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Speaker 1: at a wonderful venue called c C Blooms, and there

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Speaker 1: was this wonderful young queen and yeah, we're having conversations

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Speaker 1: with each other and we did no idea what was

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Speaker 1: going on. So the language barrier is a little bit difficult.

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Speaker 1: But the exciting thing about living at a university dorm

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Speaker 1: is there's no students here at the moment because it's

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Speaker 1: summer holidays, so instead the student halls have been taken

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Speaker 1: up by so many different walks of life. So we've

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Speaker 1: got all these kids that are here for Edinburgh Fringe

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Speaker 1: on some theater camp thing from Connecticut and they are

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Speaker 1: just exactly how you would imagine them to be kids

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Speaker 1: from Connecticut. And then we've also got all these different

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Speaker 1: musicians here for the Edinburgh Tattoo, which is that big

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Speaker 1: military band thing that happens up at Edinburgh Castle, and

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Speaker 1: we've got people from Canada, we've got people from the

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Speaker 1: Ukrainian Navy Band, and they're also filling the halls as well.

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Speaker 1: So you've got fringe artists, you've got Edinburgh Tattoo people,

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Speaker 1: You've got kids from Connecticut. It is absolutely crazy. I

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Speaker 1: feel like I'm at the Olympics. Is this what it's

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Speaker 1: like to beat the Olympics or the Commonwealth Games? Just

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Speaker 1: sitting here amongst all these different nations. I'm so international

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Speaker 1: at the moment. But the exciting thing for me is

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Speaker 1: you may know that I've been recognized as dom Dollar,

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Speaker 1: or that you know Caste Night or even young Blood.

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Speaker 1: Well guess what, everyone, I have found another duppel ganger. Yes,

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Speaker 1: there is another Art Simone out in the world. However,

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Speaker 1: she is a six year old woman from Canada called

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Speaker 1: Ali and we saw her on the first day here

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Speaker 1: when we're at breakfast and we looked across the room

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Speaker 1: and there was from the back someone sitting there with

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Speaker 1: the same haircut as me, bright blue hair. And I

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Speaker 1: was sitting with Maxie Shield, who's also in the show

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Speaker 1: with us, and she goes, look, uh, there's Art Simone.

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Speaker 1: Hi Simone, that's Simone. And then this person turned around

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Speaker 1: and she got so excited to see someone else's blue hair,

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Speaker 1: and we said hello. We had a little chat and

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Speaker 1: she's in one of the Edinburgh Tattoo bands. But I

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Speaker 1: have let her know that I would like to do

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Speaker 1: like a Freaky Friday or parent Trap style thing where

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Speaker 1: we swap jobs. So one night during Edinburgh Fringe, so

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go and play in the Military Tattoo

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Speaker 1: and bang some drums, and I think she should come

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Speaker 1: and play Cat's Day Night. It'd be like exchange program

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Speaker 1: for students. That'd be nice. But the other thing is

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Speaker 1: so speaking of blue hair, I walk around blue hair.

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Speaker 1: Most people suit me to go, oh wow, you've got

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Speaker 1: blue hair. Crazy as I know. But in Edinburgh, we're

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Speaker 1: in Scotland. There's lots of redheads, but the amount of

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Speaker 1: people with blue hair is crazy. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: this is the land of my forefathers or something like,

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Speaker 1: this is where I meant to be from, because there

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Speaker 1: is blue head beauties everywhere. Everywhere you turn, there's another

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Speaker 1: blue haired person. So maybe I need to move here. Australia?

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Speaker 1: Am I going to leave you for Edinburgh? Is this

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Speaker 1: where I'm meant to be? It's actually perfect drag weather

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Speaker 1: because it doesn't get beyond twenty degrees, it rains most days.

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Speaker 1: And you know it's the cobblestone so I couldn't live

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Speaker 1: with the cobblestones. I don't like those. We were actually

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Speaker 1: at a party and we saw Miriam Margolis publicist now

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Speaker 1: Mary Marghlie. You may recognize her. She was in Harry

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Speaker 1: Potter as the herbology teacher. I can't remember the name

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Speaker 1: of her character. We were talking to her and she's

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Speaker 1: like she was telling a story about Mirra Marghlie and

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Speaker 1: how she needs a wheelchair to travel long distances instead

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Speaker 1: of walking, and she was wheeling Miriam around and she goes, oh, Miriam,

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Speaker 1: there's some cobblestones here. Do you want me will view

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Speaker 1: in the wheelchair? And Miriam goes, oh, I hope there's cobblestones.

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Speaker 1: They stimulate my conturists anyway. So that's the exciting thing

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Speaker 1: about friends. You never know who you're going to meet.

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Speaker 1: Is it Miriam Marghalese publicist? Is it going to be

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Speaker 1: your doppelganger? You never know what's going to happen. And

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Speaker 1: we're just beginning. There's so much more to happen here.

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Speaker 1: But the last thing I want to say about being

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Speaker 1: in these student halls is it has been beautiful. It's nice.

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Speaker 1: We've got breakfast included. We've also got the internet, we've

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Speaker 1: got Wi Fi. But the sad thing is there's no

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Speaker 1: HBO Max in Scotland currently, so I can't watch And

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Speaker 1: just like that, I'm sorry, I can't watch it. I'm devastated.

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Speaker 1: I can't watch my favorite hated show in the world,

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Speaker 1: So please don't spoil it for me. I'm gonna have

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Speaker 1: to wait and do a binge when I get back

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Speaker 1: to Australia and see what the hell Carrie Bradshaw has

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Speaker 1: been up to. Arts advice. It's advice from me. Ah

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Speaker 1: so it's arts advice where I'll give you advice that

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Speaker 1: you've asked for from my really intelligent brain. Don't forget.

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Speaker 1: You can send in one of your voice notes if

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Speaker 1: you head into the show notes or to our socials,

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Speaker 1: for me to be able to give you some really

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Speaker 1: beautiful tips and tricks on your issues. We've got one

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Speaker 1: from Frager now, so let's have a listen. What is

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Speaker 1: cu have you got, Frayer. I've been invited to my

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Speaker 1: quirky cousin's wedding. They've asked for whomade gifts only well

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Speaker 1: it's something a bit fun but rancid. I could give

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Speaker 1: them for that upcoming nuptils common nuptials Okay, we've got international,

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Speaker 1: at least phonetically. I don't even know if it's a word. Okay,

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Speaker 1: quirky cousin nuptials gift? Okay, Oh, what about a personalized

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Speaker 1: tote they're very in at the moment. What about a

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Speaker 1: pet rock? What about a lock of a lover's hair?

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Speaker 1: And you could really ruffle some feathers for the wedding

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Speaker 1: because you could just give a lock of hair in

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Speaker 1: a locket without any details, and I don't know, maybe

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Speaker 1: because a bit of drama and the you know, the honeymoon.

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Speaker 1: That'd be fun. What about some teeth from a random animal?

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Speaker 1: They're really cool? Oh look, I could list so many

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Speaker 1: different quirky things because I've actually never been to a

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Speaker 1: wedding personally in my life, so I don't know what

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Speaker 1: you traditionally give as a wedding. Is there a format

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Speaker 1: to that, you know, like we say something blue, something old,

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Speaker 1: something new, something new spew in. I don't know, I've

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Speaker 1: never been to the wedding, so I think, yeah, maybe

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Speaker 1: some teeth, a locket of hair, personalized tote, or what

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Speaker 1: about a buddings gift card? I think that's quite nice

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Speaker 1: actually as well, why don't you also give tickets to

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Speaker 1: my show Fountain Legs in Lockdown? Oh my book life?

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Speaker 1: Is that? Hey that's quirky artsimo dot com. I know

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Speaker 1: you're on too. Anyway, Thanks Frayer. Good luck at the

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Speaker 1: wedding with your quirky friend and your teeth concealed weapons.

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Speaker 1: Oh that was a seductive and sexy Concealed Weapon intro

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Speaker 1: and yes, it's time for a hack from a hack

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Speaker 1: and this week for the Concealed Weapon I want to

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Speaker 1: give to you free of charge. I mean, if you

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Speaker 1: do want to pay me back, you could just you know,

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Speaker 1: leave a five star review. That would be nice, you know,

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Speaker 1: because I'm giving this AUTI for free. But anyway, the

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Speaker 1: advice and the little hack I want to give to

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Speaker 1: you is something that was gifted to me during a

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Speaker 1: little time in my life called Drag Race down Under.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you know. It was actually on

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Speaker 1: Drag Race and Under. You know, I was the first

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Speaker 1: of a queen in the franchise to be on there.

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Speaker 1: I was really good and you know, made it the finale.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, there was one particular episode but I wasn't

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Speaker 1: having a very good time and I was backstage and

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Speaker 1: my good friend Etce said she may know her she

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Speaker 1: hasn't been on the podcast. A couple of times. She

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Speaker 1: looked at me and she said, you know what, I remember,

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Speaker 1: none of this will matter when we're dead. And in

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Speaker 1: that moment, I just kept crying. But I well, you know,

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Speaker 1: I took it away from that moment and I really

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Speaker 1: manifested on it, and I realized it is quite true.

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Speaker 1: Why worry about issues in life when we're all going

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Speaker 1: to carg it very soon? And I want you just

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Speaker 1: to maybe think about that sometimes, you know, you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe something's bothering you. Maybe your coffee order was wrong,

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Speaker 1: or maybe you I don't know, you sat on a

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Speaker 1: hot Japanese toilet seat. Maybe you are I don't know,

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Speaker 1: forgot to pay your bill and now you have interest

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Speaker 1: on it, and now the tax department's trying to chase

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Speaker 1: you down, and you're trying to run from them, and

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Speaker 1: you don't want to talk about it to anyone. Just

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Speaker 1: think in a moment and go, you know what, none

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Speaker 1: of this will matter when we're dead. I believe in

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Speaker 1: this notion so much that I actually write a song

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Speaker 1: about it, None of this Matter when We're Dead, which

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Speaker 1: is actually out on Spotify and iTunes, So if you

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Speaker 1: do want to listen to it or watch the music video,

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Speaker 1: head to my YouTube. But always remember, none of this

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Speaker 1: will matter when we're dead. And that's my gift to you.

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Speaker 1: Remember life is but temporary. You're going to carck it

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Speaker 1: anytime soon, so enjoy life. Bye Okay. Australia I need

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Speaker 1: to declare a state of emergency, or should I say

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Speaker 1: state of she emergency, because our music industry has not

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Speaker 1: been delivering the goods as of recent And are you going, Oh,

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Speaker 1: what do you mean? There's so much good stuff around

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Speaker 1: at the moment. I was such cool songs from Australia artists. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but where are the girl groups? Where are the girl groups?

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Speaker 1: Because as a drag queen, one of my passions and

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Speaker 1: fortes and specialties is performing girl group songs. It's the

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Speaker 1: only way to unite an entire group of drag queens

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Speaker 1: on stage to perform something subpar for the audience. And

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Speaker 1: we really haven't had anything since the Young Divas. And

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Speaker 1: I don't even care which version of the Young Divers

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Speaker 1: whoever was in and out at the time, the music

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Speaker 1: was still good. They were formed out of the ex

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Speaker 1: contestants from Australian Idol the Good Years, So we had

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Speaker 1: a bit of Ricky Lee in there. We had just Mowboy,

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Speaker 1: we had Emily Williams, we had Kate Deruge. Pauline was

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Speaker 1: in there for a while. I don't know if it

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Speaker 1: was pre or post driving offenses, but anyway, lots of

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Speaker 1: great girl talent performing excellent numbers, excellent songs. You may

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Speaker 1: recognize some of their songs as searching. That's a good one. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I always do. Dear stand to bring me a man. Oh,

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Speaker 1: they do a great she works hard for the money.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's a good one too. So many good songs

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Speaker 1: and so many great members and we really haven't had

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Speaker 1: anything as good ever since, and unfortunately no longer performing together,

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Speaker 1: which is really sad. So now what I thought, I

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Speaker 1: would take the pressure off everyone else, you know, and

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Speaker 1: I would actually formulate my new modern version of the

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Speaker 1: Young Divers. So I've compiled a list of four or

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Speaker 1: five different artists that I think would be perfect. Now,

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Speaker 1: please factor in that while I do have my own music,

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Speaker 1: I'm not that musical at all, and I don't know

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Speaker 1: if any of these voices will actually go together pheinically

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Speaker 1: and will sound good together. I'm just picking on vibes only, okay,

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Speaker 1: and that's all that matters, because music is about vibes

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Speaker 1: and performance is about vibes. So I've gone with vibes,

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Speaker 1: So sorry about it, okay. First up on the list,

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Speaker 1: I have Peach PRC. I think she'd be the first

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Speaker 1: member one because she's really prepared because she's finally been

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Speaker 1: to her first bush Stuff and we're really excited for her.

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Speaker 1: She's really good there. She's got the very aesthetic, so

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Speaker 1: I think, you know, if you think about sugar and spa,

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Speaker 1: she's the sugar element. So I think she's really good,

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Speaker 1: great singer, songwriter and good vibes and she's got extra

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Speaker 1: glarance sparkle, and I think that's what we need. Second

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Speaker 1: on the list, I've got a Taylor from Ammal and

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Speaker 1: the Sniffers. I think she'd be really perfect because you know,

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Speaker 1: she's having a great time with Ammial and the Sniffers.

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Speaker 1: She works in a team as well, because she's already

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Speaker 1: in a band, and I think she'd be all for

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Speaker 1: the girl power. She's really fun, she's really cool, she's

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Speaker 1: really edgy, and I think that'd be really good vibe.

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Speaker 1: Third on the list is someone you may not have

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Speaker 1: heard of, but I think you should go and find

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Speaker 1: out all about them. Is an Australian artist. Her name

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Speaker 1: is Bes. She is an indie artist. She's a singer songwriter.

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Speaker 1: She's had some great hits like all the Good Boys

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Speaker 1: Are Gay, ah so good. So Bes is like pop star.

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Speaker 1: She is like the best bits of Brittany, the best

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Speaker 1: bits of Gaga. She is like blonde, bombshell, sleek, sexy, cool,

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Speaker 1: but she also can have a laugh, so I think

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Speaker 1: that's good. And I am biased because she did co

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Speaker 1: write Encore with et cetera, et cetera and myself, So

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Speaker 1: sorry nepotism here it is. So we've got the fairy,

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Speaker 1: We've got the rocker, We've got the hop star. Next

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Speaker 1: up I'm throwing back to I don't know if many

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Speaker 1: of you people remember the band Operator Please. They did

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Speaker 1: a song about ping pong that they had some really

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Speaker 1: really great songs and the lead singer her name was

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Speaker 1: Amanda Wilkinson, and I would love to see her come

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Speaker 1: back on the scene. She has guessed and featured on

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Speaker 1: a couple of songs. Recently. She was just on a

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Speaker 1: Drawbreakers song, and I think she's so cool, vocal, powerhouse.

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Speaker 1: I think she is like the heart and the soul

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Speaker 1: of this girl group that I'm putting together. So I

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Speaker 1: really really want her in there. Maybe she could be

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Speaker 1: like Nicole Scherzinger in Pussycat Dolls Vibes. I want her

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Speaker 1: to be in the center. I think she'd be really

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Speaker 1: good and think of the ping pong games, you know,

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Speaker 1: think of the merch. We could already bring back the

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Speaker 1: ping pong balls. I don't know if she's into that anymore.

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Speaker 1: She probably hates them, but anyway, so I want her.

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Speaker 1: And then finally, because we're modern now and we also

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Speaker 1: need to relate to the children, and you know, I

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Speaker 1: appeal to the mass market, and I thought I'd bring

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Speaker 1: in an international superstar for this final member who could

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Speaker 1: just transcend generations, continents, places out of space. Because I

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Speaker 1: want the final member to be Queensland legend Bluie. I

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Speaker 1: think Blue could be really good, you know, a little bitch.

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Speaker 1: We can have a little bit of a bitch into

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Speaker 1: the girl group and I think that's good vibes. You know,

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Speaker 1: she's famous. She's also a cartoon so you know, she

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Speaker 1: probably doesn't cost that much. And that's really modern, you know,

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Speaker 1: because I was recently overseas and they just have like

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Speaker 1: Abba Is holograms now and they're performing across in Japan.

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Speaker 1: They've got like a superstar who's a hologram. Why not

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Speaker 1: have Blue and she's a Queensland legend. So that's my

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Speaker 1: girl group. I don't have a name for them yet.

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Speaker 1: So maybe you could send in your suggestions what we

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Speaker 1: should call them. But they're not the young Divas, they're

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Speaker 1: the new generation, the new girl Group. And call me

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Speaker 1: Simon Cowe because I've just created a masterpiece. Might drop.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us here for the

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Speaker 1: palate cleansa once again, and don't forget to join us

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Speaker 1: next week for another episode of Consumed with Artsimoan, where

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Speaker 1: we have our extra special guest Robert, who is from Arizona.

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Speaker 1: He likes cooking thal dye bread, watches the Last of Us,

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Speaker 1: and really wants to go to New Zealand. So if

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Speaker 1: that sounds interesting to you, then please join us, and

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Speaker 1: don't forget to jump into the Stowe Notes and click

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Speaker 1: on the link because you can send in a voice

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Speaker 1: note for the soapbox, or for arts advice, or just

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Speaker 1: send me a bit of a love letter because I

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Speaker 1: love your gratitude and affection. Anyway, there's usim own. That's

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Speaker 1: been the palate cleanser. You've been fabulous and I'll see

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Speaker 1: you next week, babe, Produced by Indianna Symons Lost in Sound