WEBVTT - Grief is love with no where to go - UNCUT WITH ELLIDY PULLIN 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:23.200 Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. 0:00:23.280 --> 0:00:25.880 I'm Laura and I'm Brittany, and we are recording in 0:00:25.920 --> 0:00:28.520 a new place today. We've got a new environment and 0:00:28.640 --> 0:00:32.040 new background. It's feeling pretty bougie. What do you think 0:00:32.080 --> 0:00:35.960 britt Laura's new crib? I felt like when I arrived today, 0:00:35.960 --> 0:00:37.919 I felt like it was like MTV cribs. You know, hey, 0:00:37.960 --> 0:00:39.640 you open the door, we buzzed it. There was this 0:00:39.680 --> 0:00:42.159 big beautiful door that like hides the house, and I 0:00:42.159 --> 0:00:43.879 felt like when you opened it, it was like, welcome to 0:00:43.960 --> 0:00:45.760 my crib. And then Brinna gave me a great, big 0:00:45.800 --> 0:00:47.839 bunch of flowers and accidentally pushed my head into a 0:00:47.840 --> 0:00:52.720 brick wall. Welcome on. We need to explain that or 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:56.640 it sounds like abuse. I yes, I brought Laura over 0:00:56.760 --> 0:00:59.680 a big, beautiful bunch of flowers, and then you forced 0:00:59.680 --> 0:01:02.480 me into as she went down to smell them, I 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:05.440 thought that she should be more engaged with the smell, 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:08.600 so I thrust the bunch of flowers into her face, 0:01:09.000 --> 0:01:11.160 not knowing that it would then ricochet her head into 0:01:11.240 --> 0:01:14.120 a cement wall. So I apologize for that. The intentions 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:16.480 were good, So guys, if I start speaking slowly on 0:01:16.480 --> 0:01:18.800 this episode, you know why someone should call me an ambulance. 0:01:18.800 --> 0:01:21.840 But anyway, we are, we moved, We're here. It was 0:01:21.880 --> 0:01:25.600 a very tiring weekend, but also a very interesting weekend. 0:01:25.600 --> 0:01:27.720 Packing and just moving house is always such a ball ag. 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:29.959 But once you're in, you feel good. I know I'm 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:31.560 doing it this week. I'm moving at the end of 0:01:31.560 --> 0:01:33.640 the week as well. I like the wea time, this 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:36.160 so perfectly together, so we can complain about moving at 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:39.959 the same time. Moving sucks. It sucks so bad. But 0:01:40.000 --> 0:01:41.560 I'm not going to complain yet because I'm not haven't 0:01:41.560 --> 0:01:43.720 done it yet. See, I think it's the opposite. Okay, Yes, 0:01:43.760 --> 0:01:47.080 it's like obviously very time intensive actually the physical move, 0:01:47.400 --> 0:01:50.080 but it's such a good time to do like a 0:01:50.120 --> 0:01:51.880 massive clean out, so you get rid of all the 0:01:51.920 --> 0:01:53.920 stuff that you should have gotten rid of years ago 0:01:54.000 --> 0:01:55.880 in your old house. Sure haven't done that yet. Yes, 0:01:55.880 --> 0:01:57.960 you do a big like cleanse, a big throwout, And 0:01:57.960 --> 0:01:59.840 then it also gives you that opportunity to like re 0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:02.240 lay out a house and get it all feng hue. 0:02:02.400 --> 0:02:04.400 Nice for your children to destroy it a couple of 0:02:04.400 --> 0:02:07.000 weeks time, but like at least for a week, this 0:02:07.120 --> 0:02:09.919 place is gonna look great. That's your goal. One week. Yeah, 0:02:09.919 --> 0:02:11.200 oh well, look, if we can make it to a 0:02:11.240 --> 0:02:13.840 month of it looking like it belongs in a some 0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:16.240 sort of catalog, I'll feel great. But my new ambition 0:02:16.320 --> 0:02:18.680 in life, this is when you know you've hit your thirties. 0:02:18.880 --> 0:02:20.839 My new ambition is that I'm really trying to grow 0:02:20.880 --> 0:02:23.240 a lawn. Yeah, you're old. How do you know you're old? 0:02:23.360 --> 0:02:25.320 You put sprinklers on in the morning. In the afternoon, 0:02:25.880 --> 0:02:27.959 the lawn. You're like, how do I get myself a 0:02:28.040 --> 0:02:30.840 luscious lawn? Yeah? It's pretty gray at the moment and brown. 0:02:30.880 --> 0:02:33.720 But anyway, guys, in the new house, I did have 0:02:33.800 --> 0:02:37.320 something very interesting happened to me whilst I was packing. 0:02:37.440 --> 0:02:40.600 And it wasn't accidentally unfiltered of my own which if 0:02:40.639 --> 0:02:42.480 you follow on social media, if you follow Lady in 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:44.320 a Cat you would have seen a little bit of it. 0:02:44.360 --> 0:02:47.079 But there was more to the story, Britt and I'm 0:02:47.120 --> 0:02:49.920 gonna tell you. So we had a company come and 0:02:50.000 --> 0:02:52.959 like physically pack up all the stuff, right, they would 0:02:53.000 --> 0:02:54.240 take out the things in the drawers and they woul 0:02:54.240 --> 0:02:56.840 put all into boxes. And this one guy had come 0:02:56.880 --> 0:02:59.440 and he had packed up all my bedroom drawers because 0:02:59.480 --> 0:03:02.800 we were the morning of the removals coming, and I 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:06.320 was expecting that I would do my bedroom draws myself. However, 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:09.399 he did, saying you always you know, Laura, you don't 0:03:09.440 --> 0:03:11.400 let you barricade him out of the bedroom. You do 0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:14.280 not let the burly removalless man into your bedside draw well, 0:03:14.320 --> 0:03:16.440 like I didn't expect that he was going to do 0:03:16.480 --> 0:03:18.120 it before I got home, Like I was only gone 0:03:18.160 --> 0:03:19.480 for an hour and a half, and by the time 0:03:19.520 --> 0:03:23.000 it takes only takes two minutes, la apparently all it takes. 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:25.520 I got home from recording and he'd already packed up 0:03:25.600 --> 0:03:27.840 everything in the bedroom. Anyway, I'm standing in the bedroom 0:03:27.880 --> 0:03:30.200 putting some of the clothes from the wardrobe into a box, 0:03:30.600 --> 0:03:33.079 and he picks up this box and walks out into 0:03:33.120 --> 0:03:39.560 the hallway, and the whole box just starts going like vibrating, 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:41.320 and I was like, your rabbit was on the loose. 0:03:41.640 --> 0:03:43.720 I was like, what the well, I know it wasn't 0:03:43.720 --> 0:03:45.960 a vibrator, Like I know it couldn't have possibly been 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:49.800 a vibrator, because that's collecting dust in the wardrobe. Is 0:03:49.800 --> 0:03:51.600 that what you're saying. I don't think I have one 0:03:51.640 --> 0:03:53.600 that works anymore. The batteries are long and truly died 0:03:53.640 --> 0:03:55.240 of that thing. Did I get you one? Hang on, 0:03:55.640 --> 0:03:57.960 you got me a cock ring? You didn't get you vibrate? 0:03:58.240 --> 0:03:58.760 Yes, I did. 0:03:58.800 --> 0:04:01.200 I got you a clitorous stimulate a thing. But that 0:04:01.200 --> 0:04:04.080 doesn't vibrate, does it? It sucks? So I was going, well, 0:04:04.120 --> 0:04:13.080 you used it anyway. It certainly wasn't the glitteroust sucking 0:04:13.080 --> 0:04:16.520 thing that was going off the whole box. The whole 0:04:16.520 --> 0:04:19.400 box was vibrating. And the guy who was like this 0:04:19.520 --> 0:04:22.960 burly Armenian guy, he looked and he looked startled, and 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:25.400 then he just put the box down and walked away 0:04:25.440 --> 0:04:27.920 from it. And I'm like, I was like, oh, I'm sorry, 0:04:27.960 --> 0:04:30.400 I'll unpack it. He's like, yep, yeah, you do that. 0:04:32.000 --> 0:04:34.159 So he gave me some privacy and I unpacked it. 0:04:34.160 --> 0:04:35.960 And it was Matt's theory gun, which is like the 0:04:36.000 --> 0:04:38.720 massage gun going by by by make. If you use 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:40.680 that to try and get yourself off, you'd surely do 0:04:40.760 --> 0:04:43.760 some damage. So I took it out and turned it off. 0:04:44.080 --> 0:04:45.320 Then I put it back in the box and I 0:04:45.400 --> 0:04:47.360 resealed the box, and then I went to try and 0:04:47.480 --> 0:04:51.039 tell the guy like I was like, hey, hey, sorry 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:53.240 about that. Don't worry. It wasn't what you think it was. 0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:55.760 It was just my and I'm trying to explain myself, 0:04:55.800 --> 0:04:58.000 and every time I open my mouth or explain myself, 0:04:58.080 --> 0:04:59.840 he keeps going, I don't want to know. 0:05:00.680 --> 0:05:01.440 I don't want to know. 0:05:01.760 --> 0:05:03.720 And I was like, no, I wanted to tell you, 0:05:03.839 --> 0:05:05.560 and he was like, I don't want to know. He's like, 0:05:05.640 --> 0:05:07.440 it's okay, I don't want to know. And so now 0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:09.600 he still thinks that I had my vibrator. He thinks. 0:05:09.839 --> 0:05:12.360 He thinks, bless his soul, that you've got a great 0:05:12.480 --> 0:05:15.960 active sex life. If only he knew the truth. Hikay, 0:05:16.040 --> 0:05:18.360 So I actually have a thera gun and you have 0:05:18.480 --> 0:05:20.200 just given me anxiety. I'm going to make sure when 0:05:20.200 --> 0:05:22.120 I pack that it is the battery is out, it 0:05:22.200 --> 0:05:24.040 is taken off. I'm going to pack all my personal 0:05:24.080 --> 0:05:26.280 stuff before because I cannot have that happen. Make sure 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:28.440 you pack your theory gun along with your dildos and 0:05:28.480 --> 0:05:30.640 your vibrators and everything in the same box. I reckon, 0:05:30.680 --> 0:05:32.760 there's got to be some funny stories out there about 0:05:32.960 --> 0:05:36.080 this exact thing. People moving. Surely people have had like 0:05:36.200 --> 0:05:38.600 some sex mishaps. Funny you should say that because I 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:40.280 do have something I'm going to share with you later. 0:05:40.440 --> 0:05:42.599 Oh wait, this exactly. This is the gift that keeps 0:05:42.640 --> 0:05:45.120 on giving. Now, guys, we do actually have a really 0:05:45.560 --> 0:05:48.239 incredibly special episode for you today, and it's an episode 0:05:48.240 --> 0:05:50.719 that I have been so looking forward to for so long. 0:05:50.960 --> 0:05:52.680 We interviewed Elitie pull In. 0:05:52.800 --> 0:05:52.960 Now. 0:05:53.040 --> 0:05:54.960 I know some of you will be familiar with Eldi. 0:05:55.360 --> 0:05:59.400 Elidi is the partner of Alex Chumpy and Alex Chumpy. 0:05:59.440 --> 0:06:03.040 He was a profetational snowboarder and Olympic champion snowboarder, and 0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:08.280 last year he tragically died whilst spearfishing. Eliti has her 0:06:08.360 --> 0:06:11.560 own podcast, it's called Darling Shine. So many of you 0:06:11.680 --> 0:06:14.040 are listeners of the podcast, and we wanted to do 0:06:14.080 --> 0:06:17.400 an episode with Elerdy last year about grief and speak 0:06:17.440 --> 0:06:21.160 to her about her experiences. But her story doesn't end there. 0:06:21.200 --> 0:06:23.880 She has the most incredible story because she recently brought 0:06:23.960 --> 0:06:26.479 her baby girl, Mini into the world, and she talks 0:06:26.600 --> 0:06:30.120 so much about her life with Chumpy, how she's dealt 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:32.680 with her life since his passing, and what it's been 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:35.320 like since bringing Mini into the world. And I just 0:06:35.480 --> 0:06:38.600 love Elerdy so much. She's such an absolute, she's real, 0:06:38.720 --> 0:06:41.120 salt of the earth type of person. She's such a genuine, 0:06:41.200 --> 0:06:44.600 wonderful woman, and she doesn't want people to think that 0:06:44.680 --> 0:06:47.560 she's a hero or a champion for kind of overcoming 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:50.000 what she has and working through her grief. But it's 0:06:50.040 --> 0:06:51.800 so hard not to look at her and think that 0:06:51.880 --> 0:06:54.080 she's truly an inspiration for how she just gets up 0:06:54.120 --> 0:06:56.240 and gets on with it. Yeah, she's such a breath 0:06:56.279 --> 0:06:59.360 of fresh air. But the reason that Eliti's story is 0:06:59.600 --> 0:07:03.239 so much more remarkable is that she brought her child 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:06.920 Mini into the world after her partner Alex had passed away. 0:07:07.400 --> 0:07:09.760 That is what makes this story so unique and so 0:07:09.920 --> 0:07:12.800 different from anything we've ever spoken about. In all honesty, 0:07:13.000 --> 0:07:15.720 I learned so much because I didn't even know that 0:07:15.960 --> 0:07:19.080 taking sperm from someone that had passed away was a thing. 0:07:19.280 --> 0:07:21.280 I didn't know what was possible. I know ELDI didn't 0:07:21.280 --> 0:07:23.920 know as possible. The only reason it came to be 0:07:24.160 --> 0:07:27.080 was because one of her friends happened to have heard 0:07:27.200 --> 0:07:29.680 or read about it previously, and she kicked her button 0:07:29.720 --> 0:07:31.240 to gear. Because you have a time frame, you have 0:07:31.360 --> 0:07:34.840 hours after this moment, even talking about it. Now we've 0:07:34.920 --> 0:07:37.560 spoken to Eldi and I still can't get my head 0:07:37.600 --> 0:07:40.440 around what those first few hours and first few days 0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:42.960 could have been like. But I think you guys are 0:07:43.000 --> 0:07:45.080 going to be just as in awe of Elity and 0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:47.560 her story as we were. So I can't wait to 0:07:47.640 --> 0:07:50.160 get into that and share her story with you. But 0:07:50.320 --> 0:07:52.600 before that, look, before we do, you know that there's 0:07:52.640 --> 0:07:54.560 always a few low brow things we want to share, 0:07:55.040 --> 0:07:57.640 Like we keep the deep stuff later in the episodes, 0:07:57.680 --> 0:08:00.560 and the start, well sometimes the start probably shouldn't happen, 0:08:00.600 --> 0:08:03.560 but it always does. Now it's interesting, Okay. I wanted 0:08:03.600 --> 0:08:05.880 to talk about something which I saw that's been doing 0:08:05.920 --> 0:08:07.800 the rounds. There's a couple of articles that came out 0:08:07.840 --> 0:08:10.200 about it this week, but it's in regards to something 0:08:10.280 --> 0:08:13.320 that's been trending on TikTok. We love a good TikTok trend, 0:08:13.360 --> 0:08:16.200 don't we say about three times fast TikTok trend TikTok trendy. 0:08:16.200 --> 0:08:18.120 I won't do it three times by no, Okay. The 0:08:18.200 --> 0:08:20.600 thing I think about TikTok is like it's really a subculture. 0:08:20.720 --> 0:08:23.520 Like there's so many different categories where you can find 0:08:23.600 --> 0:08:26.040 people who have like minded ideas as you and really 0:08:26.160 --> 0:08:28.840 go deep in those sort of concepts. Now, something that 0:08:28.960 --> 0:08:32.080 has sparked a lot of interest, there have been hundreds 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:34.199 and hundreds of thousands of views on these videos in 0:08:34.240 --> 0:08:36.920 the past couple of weeks and months is the whole 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:40.600 concept of celibacy. Now, when I say celibacy, TikTok, I'm 0:08:40.640 --> 0:08:44.679 not talking about celibacy because of religious views or ideologies. 0:08:45.000 --> 0:08:47.720 I'm talking about twenty year olds and thirty year olds 0:08:47.760 --> 0:08:50.920 who have opted into celibacy because they think it gives 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:54.400 them more autonomy, more freedom, just like a better sense 0:08:54.440 --> 0:08:56.240 of self because they're not out there chasing the d 0:08:57.080 --> 0:09:00.600 I actually have a friend, a very whole, good looking 0:09:00.880 --> 0:09:05.480 male friend. He's an athlete, and I remember him telling 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:08.160 me a little while ago, oh, probably about a year ago. 0:09:08.160 --> 0:09:09.959 I remember him saying, like, way before the trend that 0:09:10.080 --> 0:09:12.000 he did this. He did this for like three to 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:15.199 four months because he had read somewhere someone else in 0:09:15.200 --> 0:09:17.600 the athlete world had said, Hey, like, if you don't masturbate, 0:09:17.800 --> 0:09:21.120 you don't pretty much don't ejaculate. It does all these 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:23.400 great things for your life. Now, this is pretty bitch. 0:09:23.440 --> 0:09:26.000 You hold onto your superpowers, you hold on to your superpowers, 0:09:26.320 --> 0:09:28.480 and this is a pretty big thing. I've actually made 0:09:28.480 --> 0:09:30.640 a few athletes that I know that do this to 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:33.120 a small degree, so like before a match or a 0:09:33.240 --> 0:09:35.599 game or anything like that. A lot of footballers do it. 0:09:36.040 --> 0:09:37.760 They won't masturbate or they won't have sex with their 0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:41.040 partners because they think it takes their game down a level. 0:09:41.080 --> 0:09:42.920 So it's this is actually a thing that people do. 0:09:43.800 --> 0:09:46.719 But my friend did it for three months and I 0:09:47.000 --> 0:09:49.200 texted him when we're going to do this, and I said, hey, 0:09:50.000 --> 0:09:54.559 I remember when you didn't jack off have sex for months, 0:09:54.679 --> 0:09:57.240 like ages ago. What was that experience like for you, 0:09:57.400 --> 0:09:59.880 Like just out of curiosity because we're doing this podcast. 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:01.959 Was so blah blah blah blah. I just want to 0:10:02.000 --> 0:10:03.920 read you what he wrote back. Ay, Britt, Yeah, I 0:10:03.960 --> 0:10:06.400 did it for about three to four months, truth be told. 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:08.960 I just got really horny, slept with the girl, slept 0:10:09.000 --> 0:10:11.160 with a girl twice without coming, which was the hardest 0:10:11.160 --> 0:10:12.959 thing I have ever done. And that was at the 0:10:13.040 --> 0:10:16.000 end of month too. I saw small improvements in energy 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:19.199 for training, but nothing crazy. Towards month three, I was 0:10:19.360 --> 0:10:22.800 just really angry and just thinking of fucking NonStop. It 0:10:22.880 --> 0:10:26.160 was a debilitating level. This goes against everything I have 0:10:26.280 --> 0:10:29.640 read today. I know, all in all is good dopamine 0:10:29.679 --> 0:10:32.080 cleanse for pawn, but it turned me into a bit 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:37.319 of a pervert by the third month. Well, somebody else 0:10:37.360 --> 0:10:39.360 who did this for three and a half months, he's 0:10:39.400 --> 0:10:42.959 probably also a pervert, is produce a h Well. I 0:10:43.040 --> 0:10:45.640 think it's really interesting because everything that Laura and I read, 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:47.280 that's why I wanted to go straight to the source 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:49.160 from somebody that I knew and say, hey, what did 0:10:49.200 --> 0:10:50.920 it do for you? And he while he said, you know, 0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:52.679 I felt a bit more energy overall, he was like 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:54.000 I was just a creep at the end. He's like 0:10:54.080 --> 0:10:56.000 I was just I was super horny and it wasn't 0:10:56.080 --> 0:10:59.120 doing for me what everyone said it was doing. But hey, 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:02.000 everyone's different, What did it do for you? My experience 0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:04.240 was kind of like, I can't so it was last year. 0:11:04.280 --> 0:11:06.800 It was when we were in lockdown, which probably added 0:11:06.880 --> 0:11:08.960 to the whole like it was easy to be celebrated 0:11:09.200 --> 0:11:11.920 if you went in a relationship right, I'd come out 0:11:11.920 --> 0:11:15.160 of toxic relationship one to skip a few decided that 0:11:15.280 --> 0:11:19.040 I needed to cleanse my dating aura, like. 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:21.800 I'm just imagining you out there with the stage around. 0:11:22.200 --> 0:11:24.920 Did you do the old Gwyneth poultry steam the vagina 0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:27.000 as well? I hope not, because I kiss she gave 0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:28.840 it a deep clean, like an end of lease clean. 0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:31.439 I paid some cleaners to come in. 0:11:31.600 --> 0:11:34.240 I know, I just yeah, so cleansed my vagina because 0:11:34.360 --> 0:11:36.800 I realized that I'd spent all of this emotional energy 0:11:36.960 --> 0:11:40.040 and like anxiety and feeling really sad and wasting all 0:11:40.080 --> 0:11:40.280 of this. 0:11:40.400 --> 0:11:44.199 Time on this person. And I was like, I just 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:46.160 need a break, Like I need a full break. 0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:49.440 I'm going to completely dedicate myself to literally not replying 0:11:49.480 --> 0:11:49.960 to one boy. 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:52.839 No you in hardcore. So I honestly was just like 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:54.680 I just can't be bothered. I need to fix my brain. 0:11:54.920 --> 0:11:57.640 And it worked. My god, my career went through the room. 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:00.840 Were even kidding, It was all my So you kind 0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:03.240 of spent all of that energy that I was putting 0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:06.160 into dating or like you know, just the little things 0:12:06.200 --> 0:12:07.280 like couple of texts a day. 0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:09.200 It actually ends up taking up time in your life. 0:12:09.480 --> 0:12:10.959 But it's always more than a lot. Like it's not 0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:12.800 just a couple of texts, because if that's all it was, 0:12:12.880 --> 0:12:15.719 then that's like very minimal effort. It's the trying to 0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:18.319 date someone to then like have sex with them. That 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:21.360 energy and mental power that goes into that whole process, 0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:24.040 Like it's super time consuming to scroll back their Instagram 0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:25.120 till twenty twelve as well. 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:29.439 That takes a lot of time exactly all this investigation 0:12:29.679 --> 0:12:31.920 of what they could possibly be doing with other people. 0:12:32.280 --> 0:12:35.439 But yeah, that was great, all jokes acide. I think 0:12:35.480 --> 0:12:37.400 it was about three months that I didn't sleep with someone, 0:12:37.480 --> 0:12:39.920 like deliberately made the conscious choice to be like, nah, 0:12:39.920 --> 0:12:41.839 I'm turning away from this for a while until I've 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:45.320 kind of like pieced myself back together. It was weirdly cathartic, 0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:48.199 and I felt a lot better and more confident in 0:12:48.280 --> 0:12:53.360 myself kind of going back into the dating sex scene. Well, 0:12:53.360 --> 0:12:55.600 there's been actually some research studies that have been done 0:12:55.679 --> 0:12:59.320 recently which suggests that millennials are having half as much 0:12:59.360 --> 0:13:01.720 sex as their parents parents, which apparently our parents were 0:13:01.760 --> 0:13:03.640 horny bastards. I mean that's a bit sad, isn't it? 0:13:03.920 --> 0:13:04.079 Oh? 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:04.520 Is it? 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:04.800 Though? 0:13:04.960 --> 0:13:06.599 I I mean yes, I mean it is. Yes. I 0:13:06.640 --> 0:13:08.160 don't want to think about my parents having sex. But 0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:10.160 apparently we're not being half as much sex, but gen 0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:12.480 z's are having half as much sex as we have, 0:13:12.880 --> 0:13:14.959 which kind of goes against the whole thing that Like, 0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:16.880 I mean, I know that there's this fear that, like, 0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:19.880 young people are very sexually active, and as a parent, 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:22.280 it's something that you're very conscious of. You're like, oh God, 0:13:22.280 --> 0:13:23.800 do we need to worry about my thirteen year old 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:25.960 fourteen year old? But I think that we grew up 0:13:26.000 --> 0:13:30.000 in an incredibly hyper sexualized society, Like we grew up 0:13:30.080 --> 0:13:31.600 around it and was surrounded by it. And I think 0:13:31.679 --> 0:13:34.000 even back to like our dating time, so much of 0:13:34.080 --> 0:13:37.319 it centered around just like finding someone to be with, 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:40.080 have sex with. There was so much validation that came 0:13:40.160 --> 0:13:43.079 from like the chase and having someone like you or 0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:45.319 admire you. It's kind of nice to think that you 0:13:45.400 --> 0:13:47.160 can have the flip side of this and find some 0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:50.599 self validation when you're not chasing the d But this 0:13:50.920 --> 0:13:53.439 article in the Sydney Morning Herald, it did say that 0:13:53.480 --> 0:13:55.720 eighteen to twenty four year olds were comparable with over 0:13:55.960 --> 0:13:59.200 seventy five year old age group. Now that blows my mind. 0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:02.480 How are you eighteen to twenty four because there's a 0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:07.160 pandemic bridge, Nah, we've been out for a long time. Nah, Nah, 0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:09.040 we've been out. I think it's more that they just 0:14:09.080 --> 0:14:11.160 don't feel like they're indulging, and they use the word 0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:13.520 indulging in the article. They don't feel a need to 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:15.880 as much. And I guess it's probably coming from things 0:14:15.960 --> 0:14:18.559 like this TikTok trend, more people speaking out saying you 0:14:18.600 --> 0:14:20.880 don't really need it, more people trying to channel their 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:23.480 energy into something else, or sex toys have just gotten 0:14:23.520 --> 0:14:24.280 heaps better. 0:14:25.720 --> 0:14:28.280 Than replying to a you up text is just to 0:14:28.440 --> 0:14:31.600 get Laura's theragun out of her draw that she's used. 0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:35.400 She's you definitely should not use the thera gun. That's 0:14:35.400 --> 0:14:37.800 a terrible idea. Everybody is huge. Do not use this 0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:39.640 thing at home. No, But I think that there's some 0:14:39.760 --> 0:14:42.720 interesting points in this whole thing, and like maybe celibacy 0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:45.520 seems like an extreme thing to go and do. Like, 0:14:45.720 --> 0:14:47.320 you know, this whole idea of like, oh god, I'm 0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:49.200 not going to have sex for an indefinite amount of 0:14:49.240 --> 0:14:50.400 time sounds crazy. 0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:52.520 It sounds like when I was thinking about it myself, 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:54.960 I was like, this sounds like something that was very 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:57.240 out of character for me, because like, I enjoy your 0:14:57.320 --> 0:15:00.600 healthy sex life as everyone outreach does, but it genuinely 0:15:00.760 --> 0:15:04.760 did really help me peace kind of my calmness around 0:15:04.840 --> 0:15:05.760 sex back together. 0:15:06.120 --> 0:15:08.080 Well, I just think that if there's so much of 0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:10.600 validation that can come from going out and trying to 0:15:10.680 --> 0:15:12.800 find a new sexual partner, or like you know, if 0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:15.000 you go out with the girls, if you're somebody who 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:18.400 is very much on the dating sex scene, like you know, 0:15:18.520 --> 0:15:21.200 and has a really active sex life, you're not always 0:15:21.280 --> 0:15:22.960 engaged in what's happening in front of you. So like 0:15:23.000 --> 0:15:25.680 you go out for the girls, you're not really necessarily thinking, Okay, 0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:27.120 well we're going to go for a dance and then 0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:29.720 I'm going to go home hunt. Yeah, You're like you're 0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:32.000 half engaged with your friends and you're half like, Okay, 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:33.960 is that hot guy looking at me? Should I make eyes? 0:15:33.960 --> 0:15:35.920 Maybe I'll go home with him? Do I bend and snap? 0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:38.560 Do it whatever? You know, But it changes the dynamic. 0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:40.800 And I think if you cut that out completely, whether 0:15:40.880 --> 0:15:42.560 it be for a month or two months, and have 0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:45.520 this kind of like celibacy cleanse, do your TikTok trend, 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:49.240 I can see how it would have beneficial impacts. The 0:15:49.360 --> 0:15:50.920 other part of this, which I just wanted to touch 0:15:50.920 --> 0:15:52.680 on as well, is like I'm sure there are so 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:55.240 many people who listening to this who were single during 0:15:55.280 --> 0:15:58.200 the pandemic and it was almost like forced celibacy. I 0:15:58.240 --> 0:16:01.560 would love to hear from you how that impacted your 0:16:01.640 --> 0:16:03.920 dating and how it impacted the way that you're approaching 0:16:03.960 --> 0:16:05.720 your sex life now. So, if you're a Life Uncut 0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:08.440 listener and you have had a six month stint or 0:16:08.520 --> 0:16:10.680 a three month whatever it is, if you've had a 0:16:10.760 --> 0:16:14.280 stint that has been like intentionally celibate, how did that 0:16:14.400 --> 0:16:17.520 improve you as a person. I mean, I think it's 0:16:17.560 --> 0:16:20.320 important to note that when you don't have something, you 0:16:20.440 --> 0:16:22.280 don't miss it and you don't want it. The more 0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:24.520 sex you have, the less it's BRIT's friend, the more 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:26.160 you want it, nless it's my friend. But the more 0:16:26.200 --> 0:16:27.320 sex you have, the more you want it. If you 0:16:27.400 --> 0:16:29.320 haven't had it for a long time, you don't feel 0:16:29.440 --> 0:16:31.840 the need or the desire anymore. And I've been in 0:16:32.040 --> 0:16:34.360 like most of my relationships have been long distance, to 0:16:34.400 --> 0:16:36.320 be honest, like that's probably something I need to reflect 0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:40.080 on in myself another day, But like most of my 0:16:40.240 --> 0:16:42.360 relationships have been long distance, so I feel like I've 0:16:42.760 --> 0:16:46.200 gone ages without sex before. Because obviously I'm very loyal 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:49.320 to my partners, and it gets to the point where 0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:51.760 you don't actually miss it anymore, and I get more 0:16:51.840 --> 0:16:54.120 productive than ever. And I guess that's just because I 0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:55.840 want to fill my time with other things. But like 0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:58.760 produce Keisha said before, that's when I'm the most productive, 0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:00.640 and that's when I start to be very successful in 0:17:00.720 --> 0:17:02.840 every other aspect of my life. So maybe there is 0:17:02.920 --> 0:17:04.520 something to it, or maybe I'm just a bit hyper 0:17:04.600 --> 0:17:05.760 and just want to feel all my time, so I 0:17:05.800 --> 0:17:08.359 don't think of anything else but for me, like I 0:17:08.760 --> 0:17:10.159 am sort of here for it. I don't think I 0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:12.399 would ever intentionally choose it, Like I love to have 0:17:12.480 --> 0:17:15.200 a great sex life, but I can see why people 0:17:15.280 --> 0:17:16.840 are doing it when I just turn me. 0:17:16.960 --> 0:17:19.080 I think the one big difference with your friend and 0:17:19.800 --> 0:17:23.800 celibacy is that he was not coming right, So like 0:17:24.000 --> 0:17:28.200 that has physiological impacts, This is more about an emotional 0:17:28.320 --> 0:17:30.360 like psychological impact in my perspective. 0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:32.879 Anyway, Well, it's almost worse if you're having sex with 0:17:32.960 --> 0:17:35.320 someone but you're withholding an orgasm. It kind of like 0:17:35.600 --> 0:17:39.320 creates that that temptation is tenfold, Like that feeling of desire, 0:17:39.400 --> 0:17:42.879 that feeling of compulsion that is not actually celibacy, whereas 0:17:42.920 --> 0:17:45.960 if you are completely abstinent from something and you get 0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:48.440 over the hump of the oh, I need to have sex. 0:17:48.520 --> 0:17:50.879 I want to kind of like, you know, satiate this desire. 0:17:50.920 --> 0:17:53.080 You get over that feeling, then you're kind of like, 0:17:53.600 --> 0:17:55.520 I don't know, you're in a different space. I want 0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:57.720 to say, the TikTok trend that's going around, there are 0:17:57.840 --> 0:18:01.560 three main benefits that people are claiming. Those are clearer mind, 0:18:01.880 --> 0:18:03.800 because we all know that too much sex can definitely 0:18:03.920 --> 0:18:07.439 fuddy the imagination. Clearer mind, spiritual growth and rids them 0:18:07.520 --> 0:18:10.320 of soul ties mostly soulties to fuck boys. But yes, 0:18:10.359 --> 0:18:11.760 it rids them of sult times. I don't even know 0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:14.920 what a sultie is. I guess I'm interpreting this is 0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:18.800 like when you are really connected with someone, as in, 0:18:18.960 --> 0:18:20.960 like you know, you might meet a guy you're dating, 0:18:21.080 --> 0:18:23.240 you feel like this fool to them, but you're not 0:18:23.320 --> 0:18:25.240 in a relationship, so you don't actually owe them anything, 0:18:25.320 --> 0:18:27.800 but you're wasting time. Like think of like a situationship 0:18:28.040 --> 0:18:30.399 where you invest so much time in that person, so 0:18:30.600 --> 0:18:33.480 much mental energy, so much physical energy, so much time 0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:35.919 you could be investing in yourself and it doesn't go anywhere, 0:18:35.920 --> 0:18:38.440 and it's never gonna go anywhere. It's weeding out the ship. Yeah, 0:18:38.600 --> 0:18:40.639 that's all it is. Yeah, Yeah, I'm here for it. 0:18:40.760 --> 0:18:42.680 I think whatever whatever flows your boat, you're gonna go 0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:44.639 through ebbs and flows in your sex life and your 0:18:44.720 --> 0:18:46.560 day and life. You're gonna have times where you have 0:18:46.680 --> 0:18:48.920 dating fatigue. You could not think anything worse, and going 0:18:48.960 --> 0:18:50.640 to meet someone and having sex with someone and having 0:18:50.680 --> 0:18:53.639 someone in your house, in your bed, inside you, inside you, 0:18:53.840 --> 0:18:57.800 inside everywhere, like yeah, physically inside your house, your personal house, 0:18:57.840 --> 0:19:00.239 your private house. But then you're gonna have to we're 0:19:00.280 --> 0:19:02.040 gonna want more than ever. And I think whatever floats 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:04.440 your boat is great. But with the people that have 0:19:04.640 --> 0:19:06.240 gone for a little while without sex and they're getting 0:19:06.280 --> 0:19:08.360 down about it, maybe just try and flip your perspective. 0:19:08.600 --> 0:19:10.760 Go on, join the TikTok trend. Maybe make a TikTok 0:19:10.760 --> 0:19:12.359 and tell everyone what your benefit is. I'd love to 0:19:12.400 --> 0:19:13.960 see it. Yeah, and I liked that. Last week we 0:19:14.040 --> 0:19:16.160 talked about sex positions, and this week we're talking about 0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:18.960 and no sex everyone with who We've really done a 0:19:19.000 --> 0:19:21.359 full circle on this line. We cover everything here a 0:19:21.440 --> 0:19:24.480 live pod cutter. Anyway, it is time for our favorite 0:19:24.520 --> 0:19:30.120 part of every episode, and that is Accidentally Unfiltered and confessional. 0:19:30.400 --> 0:19:34.080 Oh you've got a confessional today? Yeah, okay, so accidentally unfiltered. 0:19:34.119 --> 0:19:36.280 For anybody who's new and listening to the podcast, it's 0:19:36.320 --> 0:19:39.840 basically where we share your most embarrassing stories, and confessional 0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:42.719 is where we share the things that you've kept a secret, 0:19:42.840 --> 0:19:44.720 the things that you've done that you probably shouldn't have 0:19:44.760 --> 0:19:47.159 done and that you haven't told anybody. But I have 0:19:47.520 --> 0:19:52.120 a accidentally unfiltered today, and this one is very related 0:19:52.240 --> 0:19:54.920 to moving house, and I think it's a goody. In 0:19:55.000 --> 0:19:57.720 the middle of moving house, my boyfriend and I recently 0:19:57.920 --> 0:20:00.520 contracted COVID and then we had to eye isolate in 0:20:00.640 --> 0:20:04.359 his house for seven days. Unfortunately, the majority of my 0:20:04.480 --> 0:20:06.760 staff was still at my house and I hadn't packed 0:20:06.800 --> 0:20:09.440 it properly. So my dad, being the wonderful man that 0:20:09.480 --> 0:20:11.399 he is, offered to pack up my things for me 0:20:11.480 --> 0:20:14.280 before we moved. I'd gotten into my new home and 0:20:14.400 --> 0:20:16.720 I was unpacking the boxes that my dad had packed 0:20:16.720 --> 0:20:22.200 for me, only to discover five vibrators I used pregnancy 0:20:22.359 --> 0:20:26.240 test that I, for some reason, hadn't thrown away, and 0:20:26.560 --> 0:20:31.040 several boxes of condoms. My poor dad literally hand packed 0:20:31.080 --> 0:20:33.720 these into a box and didn't say a single word 0:20:33.760 --> 0:20:36.879 about it. I still cannot believe that he packed the 0:20:37.080 --> 0:20:41.119 used pregnancy test. I cringe every time I think about it. Rip, 0:20:41.359 --> 0:20:43.640 I am mortified, and so am I for you. Why 0:20:43.640 --> 0:20:46.240 a legend? But was the pregnancy test positive or negative? 0:20:46.240 --> 0:20:48.720 It was just you imagine when I used a pregnancy test. 0:20:49.119 --> 0:20:52.160 Imagine your dad? Five vibrators? Why were they five? 0:20:52.960 --> 0:20:53.120 Why? 0:20:53.160 --> 0:20:55.399 Don't to shame the girl? I wish I had. I 0:20:55.480 --> 0:20:57.440 feel like, I mean, you just use one I bought you? 0:20:57.560 --> 0:21:01.200 But why? I mean, like, I'm so five vibrators. I 0:21:01.200 --> 0:21:03.000 would have loved to see them laid out on the 0:21:03.040 --> 0:21:04.840 table and see what the difference is with all these 0:21:04.920 --> 0:21:06.920 vibrary Maybe one's like a little rabbit byby one's like 0:21:06.960 --> 0:21:10.440 a big juicy penis with called the dad and asking 0:21:15.440 --> 0:21:19.160 far out Rip you At last, you've got a good dad. God. 0:21:19.240 --> 0:21:20.880 Could you imagine looking at that and being like, that's 0:21:20.960 --> 0:21:25.800 my little girl on your chicken? Negative or no? Okay? Well, 0:21:25.840 --> 0:21:27.960 I'm liking that I brought the confessional that I have today. 0:21:28.080 --> 0:21:31.040 I went polar opposite and I went for something really 0:21:31.440 --> 0:21:36.080 really innocent because I knew you'd be a sicico. Back 0:21:36.119 --> 0:21:39.160 in kindergarten, we had a weekly raffle on Friday where 0:21:39.160 --> 0:21:41.920 you'd win a prize. Over the week, you'd get given 0:21:42.000 --> 0:21:45.600 raffle tickets for being really good or making gains in spelling, 0:21:45.640 --> 0:21:48.719 et cetera. Anyway, one afternoon, I was the last one 0:21:48.760 --> 0:21:50.560 in the classroom and I saw a bunch of full 0:21:50.640 --> 0:21:54.080 raffle ticket books on the teacher's desk. So I looked around. 0:21:54.480 --> 0:21:57.520 No one was there. I stole the full book. I 0:21:57.640 --> 0:21:59.960 went home and wrote my name on every single time, 0:22:00.280 --> 0:22:02.400 and then I sneakily put the tickets in the raffle box. 0:22:03.040 --> 0:22:05.440 There must have been more than fifty tickets that I 0:22:05.520 --> 0:22:07.000 put in with my name. This is more than the 0:22:07.080 --> 0:22:09.439 number of people in my class. I won the prize 0:22:09.480 --> 0:22:12.000 that week, and still to this day, I've never told anyone. 0:22:12.040 --> 0:22:16.880 I feel guilty. Surely she knew. How could she put 0:22:17.040 --> 0:22:18.680 If you've only got thirty people in your class and 0:22:18.720 --> 0:22:20.520 there's fifty tickets in there with your name on them, 0:22:20.640 --> 0:22:23.399 Surely that's a spoiler. Don't you also think? Like this 0:22:23.560 --> 0:22:25.760 is someone in primary school? Like where do kids get 0:22:25.800 --> 0:22:26.440 this savvy from? 0:22:26.600 --> 0:22:26.719 How? 0:22:26.880 --> 0:22:29.960 Like when do kids realize that they can lie and 0:22:30.080 --> 0:22:33.080 they she was in kindy. She was fine, Like when 0:22:33.119 --> 0:22:35.400 does this happen? Like does Marley know? Does Marley lie 0:22:35.480 --> 0:22:36.680 to me at two and a half years old? 0:22:36.720 --> 0:22:37.040 I don't know? 0:22:37.240 --> 0:22:39.520 I reckon you know how she said she was going 0:22:39.520 --> 0:22:41.680 to her friends the other day, Laura, she wasn't in 0:22:41.760 --> 0:22:45.560 the backyard pty some beautls. Marley's walking out of the 0:22:45.600 --> 0:22:50.480 house with a bag. That's like you do you remember 0:22:50.480 --> 0:22:54.879 when I was in primary school I stole something and 0:22:55.119 --> 0:22:56.800 I still to this day feel guilty. But it's a 0:22:56.840 --> 0:23:00.240 funny story. My mom and dad were like real health fananause. 0:23:00.240 --> 0:23:01.960 My dad had a heart attack when we're really young, 0:23:02.000 --> 0:23:04.359 and then a whole diet. Everything in the food was 0:23:04.400 --> 0:23:08.000 just like immaculate anyway, weren't allowed sweets really, and you 0:23:08.080 --> 0:23:10.000 know the hubba bubba that used to come in, like 0:23:10.160 --> 0:23:13.720 the big round circles and the meter length, Yeah a straps, 0:23:13.840 --> 0:23:15.639 so the straps. So there was this friend. I had 0:23:15.640 --> 0:23:17.359 a friend at school and she was always allowed young food. 0:23:17.359 --> 0:23:18.720 She always had the best food, and I was always 0:23:18.760 --> 0:23:21.040 jealous of her and she always had hubba bubba and 0:23:21.080 --> 0:23:24.320 I was never allowed it. So I was in Target 0:23:24.560 --> 0:23:26.920 with Mum and they had them at the counter. You 0:23:26.960 --> 0:23:29.440 know how you can bet chocolates and stuff. You stole something. 0:23:29.520 --> 0:23:31.800 I grabbed a hubber bubba and I put it in 0:23:32.280 --> 0:23:33.879 my well. I don't even know where I put it. 0:23:33.880 --> 0:23:35.840 I didn't have a bag. I was down there. We 0:23:36.000 --> 0:23:39.280 walked out of Target and we probably got fifty meters 0:23:39.359 --> 0:23:41.920 down and I pulled it out and I started to 0:23:41.960 --> 0:23:43.720 eat it. And Mum saw me, and she's like, what 0:23:43.840 --> 0:23:47.359 are you doing? And I was like what. She's like, 0:23:47.359 --> 0:23:48.960 where did you get that from? And I was like, 0:23:49.119 --> 0:23:50.920 Alex gave it to me. She's like, you are lying 0:23:51.000 --> 0:23:52.479 to me. Where did you get it from? Right now? 0:23:52.520 --> 0:23:54.840 And I was like, I took it from Target. She 0:23:55.040 --> 0:23:58.720 marched me back and made everyone stand around the cashier 0:23:59.119 --> 0:24:01.560 while I had to tell everyone what I did, including 0:24:01.600 --> 0:24:04.320 the cashier. I told everyone that I stole. I was mortified. 0:24:04.400 --> 0:24:07.320 I will never to this day and like, bravo, Mum, 0:24:07.400 --> 0:24:09.320 because I never stole anything again. But to this day, 0:24:09.520 --> 0:24:11.280 I have never been more mortified my life than telling 0:24:11.359 --> 0:24:13.120 a bunch of strangers in a cashier that I stole. 0:24:13.320 --> 0:24:14.880 I mean, I met her Papa. 0:24:16.480 --> 0:24:17.000 Stole again. 0:24:17.160 --> 0:24:18.720 That is good parenting. Shame them. 0:24:18.840 --> 0:24:19.600 I couldn't believe it. 0:24:19.960 --> 0:24:22.119 What a badass I was. That's as bad as it 0:24:22.160 --> 0:24:25.680 gets anyway. Guys, on that note, let's get into the 0:24:25.800 --> 0:24:32.880 chat with Elidie. Thanks for being here. We're so excited 0:24:32.880 --> 0:24:35.080 about this episode, but we do want to kick start. 0:24:35.240 --> 0:24:38.119 We don't start any episode without an accientally unfiltered You're 0:24:38.119 --> 0:24:40.399 a most embarrassing story. We really like to throw you 0:24:40.440 --> 0:24:40.960 onto the bus. 0:24:41.720 --> 0:24:44.520 Do you have one for us? I have so many. 0:24:44.840 --> 0:24:46.680 My friends sent me this photo earlier of me when 0:24:46.680 --> 0:24:49.040 I was asking her, and I was like, oh, this 0:24:49.160 --> 0:24:50.760 one doesn't incriminate me too much. 0:24:51.200 --> 0:24:52.880 We need the ones where you're incriminated. I we want 0:24:52.920 --> 0:24:56.720 like the most embarrassing ones. Oh I'm suitable for a 0:24:56.840 --> 0:24:58.280 podcast and national audience. 0:24:58.359 --> 0:25:01.840 I do so much dumb shehit, but this is just like, yeah, 0:25:02.119 --> 0:25:03.879 I don't know, this one's not that anyway. I'm just 0:25:03.920 --> 0:25:04.480 going to go with it. 0:25:04.800 --> 0:25:07.240 So I was about eighteen, A bunch of my friends 0:25:07.280 --> 0:25:08.960 were at the Star Casineo, having like a bit of 0:25:09.000 --> 0:25:11.119 a night there, and then it's like one of those 0:25:11.160 --> 0:25:12.760 things where you have a dream and everything makes sense. 0:25:12.800 --> 0:25:14.520 Now that I'm retelling it, I'm wondering why there was 0:25:14.600 --> 0:25:17.600 kind of like teller machines wherever we were standing waiting 0:25:17.640 --> 0:25:20.080 for transport. That was kind of not like sorry, not 0:25:20.160 --> 0:25:22.240 teller machines, but pretend you're going into a bank and 0:25:22.320 --> 0:25:24.280 there's like those screens. 0:25:23.880 --> 0:25:26.000 And like the holes where you would talk to the 0:25:26.119 --> 0:25:28.879 chick through the hole. Oh yeah, I don't know. 0:25:29.000 --> 0:25:30.840 It wasn't even COVID times because it was like ten 0:25:30.920 --> 0:25:32.239 years ago or saying, So, I don't know why there 0:25:32.280 --> 0:25:35.359 was where you go in and actually like convert your 0:25:35.480 --> 0:25:36.160 chips to money. 0:25:36.359 --> 0:25:39.600 Probably I don't know it. Probably I just cannot remember, 0:25:39.680 --> 0:25:41.320 but yeah, because it was a hole in the hole 0:25:42.280 --> 0:25:42.680 and there. 0:25:42.640 --> 0:25:45.720 Was a woman standing behind it with money. I don't 0:25:45.760 --> 0:25:48.960 know if we were booking accommodation or getting the chips out. 0:25:49.000 --> 0:25:52.080 Or booking some I don't know. So I was like 0:25:52.520 --> 0:25:53.280 a bit pissed. 0:25:53.600 --> 0:25:56.840 I've put my head inside this hole and so my 0:25:57.080 --> 0:25:59.159 head is like this close to the chick's head on 0:25:59.240 --> 0:25:59.840 the other side. 0:26:00.000 --> 0:26:01.919 She's like, we'll get out, and I was like, oh, 0:26:02.000 --> 0:26:02.679 I'm stuck. 0:26:03.200 --> 0:26:05.840 And I was like actually stuck for like an hour 0:26:06.119 --> 0:26:08.480 in this hole or your head actually got stuck, yeah, 0:26:08.480 --> 0:26:10.719 And I couldn't get it out. So my friends are 0:26:10.760 --> 0:26:12.679 like over there being like come on like, We've got 0:26:12.720 --> 0:26:14.479 to go and I'm all trying to get my head out. 0:26:14.520 --> 0:26:16.840 We couldn't maneuver it like this particular way. 0:26:16.840 --> 0:26:20.800 Wit you guess Wait, you're stuck in the perfect perspects hole. 0:26:21.520 --> 0:26:24.560 I couldn't get show me, show me, show me, okay, 0:26:24.720 --> 0:26:30.600 right now, my god, photo of her head. We're gonna 0:26:30.600 --> 0:26:32.600 post this on life on cut. It's too fud I'm 0:26:32.600 --> 0:26:33.359 gonna have that photo. 0:26:33.720 --> 0:26:35.320 I can't even see what is happening. 0:26:35.560 --> 0:26:39.080 How does your head get in there? Honestly, you guys 0:26:39.119 --> 0:26:41.120 need to see this ship. It is like you don't 0:26:41.160 --> 0:26:42.960 believe it unless you see it. You will see this. 0:26:43.160 --> 0:26:45.080 Please go on to the Instagram because I'm going to 0:26:45.119 --> 0:26:47.680 make a post out of this. So I'm stuck in 0:26:47.720 --> 0:26:49.399 there with these two chicks on the other side, and 0:26:49.440 --> 0:26:51.800 I'm like, so, do you guys have any markets back here? 0:26:51.840 --> 0:26:53.760 Like this a bit boring? I'm stuck here like this, 0:26:53.880 --> 0:26:54.720 there's some snacks? 0:26:55.200 --> 0:26:55.800 What are we doing? 0:26:56.480 --> 0:26:58.440 Wait? So what happened? Do they have to call emergency 0:26:59.600 --> 0:27:01.359 in my head in a particular way and got it 0:27:01.440 --> 0:27:06.440 out of there? Some w forty down quick tripp to Bunnings? 0:27:06.600 --> 0:27:07.520 That is wild? 0:27:07.960 --> 0:27:10.119 So what was the motivating factor there? What made you go, 0:27:10.560 --> 0:27:12.520 I'm going to get really close to this person's face 0:27:12.520 --> 0:27:13.359 and stick my head through. 0:27:13.280 --> 0:27:18.240 That pissed And maybe I just wanted to like get 0:27:18.280 --> 0:27:20.600 to know Whoever, maybe I was just like, what did 0:27:20.680 --> 0:27:21.960 you say, hello, let's have a chat? 0:27:22.040 --> 0:27:24.080 Like I don't know, just chucked my head through this hole. 0:27:24.359 --> 0:27:26.000 I don't know how it fitted in in its first place, 0:27:26.040 --> 0:27:27.399 because it definitely didn't come back it. 0:27:28.160 --> 0:27:29.720 Why is it that this is a thing? 0:27:29.840 --> 0:27:32.520 Because I have gotten weirdly like my knees stuck in 0:27:32.560 --> 0:27:34.960 places before. But why do things go in and not 0:27:35.080 --> 0:27:37.480 coming Well, that's the exact reason why a baby comes 0:27:37.520 --> 0:27:39.720 out head first, is because it doesn't really go the 0:27:39.800 --> 0:27:42.440 other way. Like that makes sense. Like my dog. I 0:27:42.520 --> 0:27:44.880 got this puppy and just a week ago her head 0:27:44.960 --> 0:27:47.680 got stuck. We were on a walk and she put 0:27:47.760 --> 0:27:49.680 her head between the railing like to look out of 0:27:49.800 --> 0:27:52.040 the ocean, and when in fine could not get it out. 0:27:52.080 --> 0:27:53.199 I didn't know how to get it out. I had 0:27:53.200 --> 0:27:55.119 to like squish her ears back, the poor thing, and 0:27:55.160 --> 0:27:56.159 I thought I was going to have to call the 0:27:56.400 --> 0:27:59.440 fire brigate. Anyway, I went and got some water. Someone 0:27:59.480 --> 0:28:01.359 helped me, went got water. We like slicked her hair 0:28:01.400 --> 0:28:02.760 down in her ears, and I was like, yanked her 0:28:02.760 --> 0:28:04.520 out of there, but why is she going and not 0:28:04.640 --> 0:28:05.240 come out? 0:28:05.800 --> 0:28:07.959 It's the same thing going in like when you put 0:28:08.000 --> 0:28:09.440 a ring on, don't you reckon? You can put it on, 0:28:09.520 --> 0:28:10.520 but then getting it off. 0:28:10.520 --> 0:28:14.960 Like fuck anyone who has fat fingers. I can't wait 0:28:15.080 --> 0:28:17.919 to share this photo on social media. Yeah, it's pretty heavy, 0:28:18.040 --> 0:28:20.720 like to be honest, that story kind of sucks, except 0:28:20.760 --> 0:28:22.800 because I have the photo, it makes it really good. 0:28:23.040 --> 0:28:27.080 Like trumped it, like that was the best thing I 0:28:27.160 --> 0:28:27.720 have ever seen. 0:28:27.760 --> 0:28:29.520 I feel like I couldn't do it without the photo. 0:28:29.880 --> 0:28:31.320 So you're in there for an hour and then you 0:28:31.440 --> 0:28:33.120 finally slipped yourself out and then did you just pretend 0:28:33.160 --> 0:28:34.600 it never happened? Like just got on with you know? Oh? 0:28:34.720 --> 0:28:37.240 I literally forgot about that entire night until I spoke 0:28:37.240 --> 0:28:38.640 to my friend this morning and she was like, oh, 0:28:38.760 --> 0:28:39.560 do you remember this? 0:28:39.760 --> 0:28:41.120 I've got a photo and I was like, oh my god, 0:28:41.160 --> 0:28:42.480 it's all coming back. I'm going to use that. 0:28:42.680 --> 0:28:45.040 I have suppressed this memory so deeply. Oh do you 0:28:45.120 --> 0:28:48.600 know what's pretty good though, Elidie. There's so many parts 0:28:48.600 --> 0:28:51.040 of your story that I want to ask you about. 0:28:51.280 --> 0:28:54.200 You've just become a new mum, how are you like? 0:28:54.320 --> 0:28:57.120 First off, straight off the bat, we have a little 0:28:57.160 --> 0:28:59.280 Minni in the room next door. She's three months old. 0:28:59.520 --> 0:29:01.960 How you coping in your first few weeks as a 0:29:02.000 --> 0:29:02.360 new mum? 0:29:02.760 --> 0:29:02.920 Oh? 0:29:03.160 --> 0:29:04.880 Thank you by the way for getting her to sleep 0:29:05.000 --> 0:29:06.959 and put her down, because she was just squawking when 0:29:07.000 --> 0:29:07.440 I walked in. 0:29:07.600 --> 0:29:10.000 I'm that weirdo that steals anyone's baby. I'm like, gosh, 0:29:10.120 --> 0:29:11.880 let me smell it. I mean, I would have loved it, 0:29:11.920 --> 0:29:13.080 but I was trying to play it cool. But you 0:29:13.160 --> 0:29:15.200 just gave me like a hyaena. You were like, swooped 0:29:15.240 --> 0:29:17.840 on here, try literally trying to eat her. But how 0:29:17.920 --> 0:29:19.600 have you been? How are you coping with this new 0:29:20.120 --> 0:29:22.640 Because it's huge, such a massive and transformative part in 0:29:22.760 --> 0:29:24.280 any woman's life, becoming a mom. 0:29:24.560 --> 0:29:27.640 It's so massive. She is a dream. She's such a 0:29:27.680 --> 0:29:28.120 good girl. 0:29:28.200 --> 0:29:29.560 Like she has a bit of a witching hour in 0:29:29.600 --> 0:29:32.240 the AVOs, but she sleeps well at night, thank goodness, 0:29:32.280 --> 0:29:33.640 because if I don't sleep, I am. 0:29:34.040 --> 0:29:35.000 I need my sleep. 0:29:35.480 --> 0:29:38.760 I think obviously going into it, going into having Mini, 0:29:39.320 --> 0:29:40.800 I knew that I was going to be doing it 0:29:41.040 --> 0:29:43.240 solo on my own, because I don't have. 0:29:43.320 --> 0:29:46.160 Chumpy here and I almost feel like I can't complain 0:29:46.600 --> 0:29:48.719 about doing it on my own. Like when she does things, 0:29:48.760 --> 0:29:50.240 I'm like, no, but I signed up for this and 0:29:50.320 --> 0:29:51.360 I love her and this is what. 0:29:51.400 --> 0:29:54.160 I needed and la la la. But like, yeah, it's 0:29:54.200 --> 0:29:56.680 just been the biggest thing that obviously I'll ever do 0:29:56.760 --> 0:29:59.080 in my life. But it's been three months and she 0:29:59.400 --> 0:30:01.840 so far as so amazing, and we've been on the 0:30:01.960 --> 0:30:04.120 road because I live on the Gold Coast, but I've 0:30:04.160 --> 0:30:06.920 been down in Sydney seeing my dad who's sick, and 0:30:07.040 --> 0:30:09.200 so she's just had to kind of come on my journey. 0:30:09.240 --> 0:30:11.360 And that's the thing as well, like I think I'm 0:30:11.440 --> 0:30:12.480 just essentially living. 0:30:12.280 --> 0:30:15.000 My exact life that I was before, and she's my 0:30:15.080 --> 0:30:18.200 newborn coming on my program. I'm not going on her program, 0:30:18.560 --> 0:30:20.160 and that's just because I didn't have another choice. I 0:30:20.200 --> 0:30:21.720 had to come down to Sydney to be with my dad. 0:30:21.760 --> 0:30:24.520 And now we've been stuck here for like about almost 0:30:24.600 --> 0:30:25.239 three months now. 0:30:25.320 --> 0:30:27.080 Like we came down when she was two weeks and 0:30:27.200 --> 0:30:29.720 she's just super adaptable because of that. So I think, in. 0:30:29.800 --> 0:30:31.760 Hindsight, I'm going to look back and be like really 0:30:31.800 --> 0:30:35.120 thankful for this time because she's kind of just coming 0:30:35.160 --> 0:30:37.640 along for the ride and adapting. I mean, it's even 0:30:37.680 --> 0:30:40.120 incredible the fact that you came down here with her 0:30:40.200 --> 0:30:41.320 alone at two weeks old. 0:30:41.440 --> 0:30:42.920 Like two weeks old is so new. 0:30:43.160 --> 0:30:45.840 But what you just said, I think it's subjective and 0:30:45.920 --> 0:30:48.600 relative for you to say, you know, I should just 0:30:48.640 --> 0:30:50.920 be grateful and I can't complain. Of course you can complain. 0:30:51.040 --> 0:30:53.120 Of course you can be tired. You're still in that situation, 0:30:53.360 --> 0:30:55.440 and of course you're always going to be grateful at 0:30:55.440 --> 0:30:56.880 the end of the day and you love her, But 0:30:57.000 --> 0:30:58.880 that doesn't mean you can't say, fuck, do I have 0:30:58.920 --> 0:31:01.560 to get up for the tenth time tonight, like I'm exhausted. 0:31:01.960 --> 0:31:03.200 Yeah, that's so true. 0:31:03.240 --> 0:31:06.120 I also hear people who have gone through IVF, like 0:31:06.240 --> 0:31:08.360 they've gone through rounds and rounds of IVF and pay 0:31:08.440 --> 0:31:10.240 tapes of money, and then when they finally get pregnant, 0:31:10.520 --> 0:31:12.680 they feel like they can't complain about morning sickness and 0:31:12.800 --> 0:31:14.960 the pregnancy things because they're like, I've worked so hard 0:31:15.000 --> 0:31:16.600 for this and I've complained about that part, and now 0:31:16.640 --> 0:31:18.640 I'm pregnant. I should be grateful, And it's like, no, 0:31:19.120 --> 0:31:19.920 you're going through it. 0:31:20.000 --> 0:31:22.120 You can complain. Just like anyone who's full and pregnant 0:31:22.200 --> 0:31:24.280 randomly like total allowed to you know. 0:31:24.520 --> 0:31:26.080 And the big thing as well with this is like 0:31:26.560 --> 0:31:29.440 feelings don't live in a silo. You know, you can 0:31:29.560 --> 0:31:31.360 be happy and you can be sad, and I think 0:31:31.360 --> 0:31:33.360 that there's going to be a big conversation around that 0:31:33.560 --> 0:31:35.480 in a little bit when we get into your full story. 0:31:35.560 --> 0:31:38.320 But you can be so incredibly grateful and you can 0:31:38.360 --> 0:31:41.560 be so incredibly exhausted. Those things are allowed to coincide, 0:31:41.600 --> 0:31:43.240 and so like, as a new mum, I don't think 0:31:43.280 --> 0:31:45.840 you have to set yourself up with a different set 0:31:45.840 --> 0:31:48.360 of standards just because you had to work so hard 0:31:48.480 --> 0:31:52.360 to have Mini. I do want to start your story, 0:31:52.360 --> 0:31:53.560 and I think to be able to do that, we 0:31:53.640 --> 0:31:55.400 have to go right back to the beginning of when 0:31:55.520 --> 0:31:59.240 you met Chumpy and who Alex Chrumpy is? How did 0:31:59.280 --> 0:31:59.880 you guys meet? 0:32:00.640 --> 0:32:02.560 So Chump and I met at one of my best 0:32:02.600 --> 0:32:06.080 friend Laura's birthday party, her twenty first, so it was like, yeah, 0:32:06.400 --> 0:32:09.440 nine years ago now, We just hooked up that night 0:32:09.560 --> 0:32:12.800 and then that was it. He was going overseas really 0:32:12.880 --> 0:32:15.680 soon after, and we just spoke constantly while he was away, 0:32:15.720 --> 0:32:17.720 and it just like we were just on straight away, 0:32:17.840 --> 0:32:19.360 even though he was away, and then as soon as 0:32:19.400 --> 0:32:19.760 we came. 0:32:19.720 --> 0:32:22.040 Back, it was just like we just clicked like a 0:32:22.120 --> 0:32:24.160 jigsaw and we pretty. 0:32:23.920 --> 0:32:25.600 Much moved in together straight away, which is weird for 0:32:25.640 --> 0:32:28.200 me because I'm super independent, I'm on my own thing. 0:32:28.720 --> 0:32:31.200 I've never been like bound to someone. I'm always kind 0:32:31.240 --> 0:32:32.960 of doing my own thing. But we were just so 0:32:34.000 --> 0:32:34.760 it was just so right. 0:32:34.840 --> 0:32:36.840 It was like kind of fairy tale in a way, 0:32:36.880 --> 0:32:39.400 and it just it just had to be. And we 0:32:39.520 --> 0:32:40.800 didn't really even fight. 0:32:41.040 --> 0:32:44.600 Like sold Yeah, I just like saw makes from the beginning. 0:32:44.680 --> 0:32:47.120 Sometimes things just work like the second you meet them, 0:32:47.160 --> 0:32:48.080 they work, And it sounds like. 0:32:48.120 --> 0:32:49.920 That's what it was. Yeah, it was just meant to 0:32:49.960 --> 0:32:50.320 be for me. 0:32:50.400 --> 0:32:52.480 I think, how long were you guys together for? 0:32:52.720 --> 0:32:53.120 How old are you? 0:32:53.200 --> 0:32:56.360 Yeah, I'm twenty nine, I'm about to turn thirty. Yep, 0:32:56.440 --> 0:32:58.520 so we met in twenty twelve. He passed away in 0:32:58.960 --> 0:32:59.880 twenty twenty. 0:33:00.680 --> 0:33:03.160 So for anybody that doesn't know, he's a bit of 0:33:04.080 --> 0:33:07.080 a god in the snowsports snowboarding world. Do you want 0:33:07.120 --> 0:33:09.480 to just give everyone a little background about what he 0:33:09.640 --> 0:33:11.320 did and who he was. Yeah. 0:33:11.440 --> 0:33:14.360 So Alex Rumpy Puln, also known as Chumpy my love. 0:33:14.840 --> 0:33:19.360 He's a two time world champion board across snowboarder for Australia. 0:33:19.480 --> 0:33:22.280 He's been to the Olympics a bunch of times and 0:33:22.520 --> 0:33:25.560 he's just an absolute legend. But like off the snow 0:33:25.640 --> 0:33:28.040 as well, he's just the best guy ever and he's 0:33:28.120 --> 0:33:31.520 just super active and he's good at everything, and more 0:33:31.600 --> 0:33:33.840 so than snowboarding, he was like a musician as well. 0:33:34.360 --> 0:33:36.440 I also think it's so interesting. I think we would 0:33:36.480 --> 0:33:38.520 have a perception of who he is based on his 0:33:38.760 --> 0:33:41.760 public profile. Obviously you would have gotten a different version 0:33:41.800 --> 0:33:43.880 of him. But was his public persona the same as 0:33:43.920 --> 0:33:46.240 his private persona or what was Alex Trumpy like you 0:33:46.280 --> 0:33:48.080 know at home? Yeah, So on the. 0:33:48.120 --> 0:33:51.000 Snow he was super fierce and like competitive, and I 0:33:51.120 --> 0:33:52.920 think people would know him as that because he was 0:33:53.040 --> 0:33:55.720 very much professional in the media and all that, But 0:33:56.040 --> 0:33:58.400 at home he was completely different. He was just like 0:33:58.520 --> 0:34:02.840 this kind of quirky hippie muso, always laughing, always joking, 0:34:03.520 --> 0:34:07.280 not serious at all, and on the snow, just super 0:34:07.640 --> 0:34:10.279 driven and he just had a goal and I was 0:34:10.320 --> 0:34:12.759 on the prize like a typical athlete, but like a 0:34:12.920 --> 0:34:17.120 really like his mindset was just so competitive and so 0:34:17.239 --> 0:34:18.920 he'd come home and that's when he would just go, 0:34:19.480 --> 0:34:20.480 oh and just relax. 0:34:20.520 --> 0:34:22.239 And that's when he'd come home and just relax, and. 0:34:22.239 --> 0:34:24.520 He'd get like the flu or whatever, because you know 0:34:24.600 --> 0:34:26.000 how they say when you're like go, go go, you 0:34:26.080 --> 0:34:27.880 don't get that. And he'd come home and just relax, 0:34:27.920 --> 0:34:30.680 and he was a completely different person at home. But like, 0:34:30.840 --> 0:34:33.680 both of those people are awesome. Competitive Chump and normal 0:34:33.760 --> 0:34:36.520 Chump are awesome. But it just says a lot about 0:34:36.600 --> 0:34:39.200 athletes in general and how they can just. 0:34:39.320 --> 0:34:40.080 Have this switch. 0:34:40.680 --> 0:34:43.760 Absolutely feel it's been dating one for a long time. Yeah, exactly, 0:34:44.000 --> 0:34:47.800 very obsessive. Yeah, what plans did you guys have for 0:34:47.880 --> 0:34:50.759 the future. Were you planning on having a baby, were 0:34:50.760 --> 0:34:52.920 you getting married? Where were you at in your life? 0:34:53.680 --> 0:34:56.680 So Chump and I, yeah, had lived together for I 0:34:56.719 --> 0:34:59.600 don't know, eight years. We bought our dream house on 0:34:59.640 --> 0:35:01.920 the Gold Coast. So we grew up in Sydney or 0:35:02.040 --> 0:35:03.720 I grew up in Sydney, he grew up in Victoria. 0:35:03.800 --> 0:35:05.960 Then we both lived in Sydney together and we moved 0:35:06.000 --> 0:35:09.640 to the Gold Coast in twenty seventeen or twenty eighteen, gosh, 0:35:09.640 --> 0:35:12.839 I can't even remember. Bought our dream house, got our dog, 0:35:13.000 --> 0:35:15.520 who's the best ever. We're both obsessed, and it was 0:35:15.640 --> 0:35:17.640 like Chumpy and Rummy were like they were like a 0:35:17.719 --> 0:35:20.160 duo and I was just always the third wheel we had. 0:35:21.280 --> 0:35:23.440 So we had our dog and we were trying for 0:35:23.520 --> 0:35:24.680 a baby for over a year. 0:35:25.040 --> 0:35:26.760 I have a low egg count, so we were always 0:35:26.800 --> 0:35:29.319 probably going to do IVF, we just hadn't started it yet. 0:35:29.920 --> 0:35:32.200 That was the next step with our doctor, so we 0:35:32.320 --> 0:35:34.200 were like frothing to have a family. Chump wasn't going 0:35:34.280 --> 0:35:36.040 to be snowboarding for too much longer. He was thirty 0:35:36.080 --> 0:35:38.000 two and he was starting to just he was super 0:35:38.000 --> 0:35:41.120 obsessed with home and what we had, like our house, 0:35:41.160 --> 0:35:43.480 and he's like a homebody and loves to just potter 0:35:43.560 --> 0:35:45.560 around the house and he was going into different things. 0:35:46.160 --> 0:35:48.840 So he was definitely going to finish up snowboarding. So 0:35:48.920 --> 0:35:51.520 it was like, perfect, let's have kids now. And our 0:35:51.600 --> 0:35:53.960 house is kind of like you know, a family house 0:35:54.120 --> 0:35:57.879 is like five bedrooms and a pool and everything like that. Yeah, 0:35:57.960 --> 0:36:02.720 and then on July eighth, twenty he just essentially walked 0:36:02.760 --> 0:36:04.840 out the door one day to go spearfishing. He's like 0:36:04.920 --> 0:36:08.239 an action man, always out surfing, spearfishing, fishing out on 0:36:08.320 --> 0:36:11.160 the boat, doing literally whatever he can to just stay active. 0:36:11.200 --> 0:36:15.040 He's just like a waterman or action man. Basically left 0:36:15.080 --> 0:36:17.799 the house one day and just literally didn't come back. 0:36:17.840 --> 0:36:20.399 He had a shallow water blackout under the sea when 0:36:20.440 --> 0:36:23.200 he was fishing out the reef to catch dinner for us. 0:36:23.239 --> 0:36:24.560 We had friends coming up, and he was like, oh, 0:36:24.600 --> 0:36:28.359 catch everyone fish for tonight. We'll make fish tacos and yeah, 0:36:28.480 --> 0:36:29.160 like simple as that. 0:36:29.280 --> 0:36:31.439 He just had a shallow water blackout under there where 0:36:31.800 --> 0:36:33.640 there was a lack of oxygen to his brain because 0:36:33.640 --> 0:36:35.479 he was probably holding his breath for just a tiny 0:36:35.560 --> 0:36:37.960 bit too long and just passed out under the water. 0:36:38.080 --> 0:36:41.000 So basically went to sleep, and he had a weight 0:36:41.080 --> 0:36:42.759 belt on, so he sank and if. 0:36:42.680 --> 0:36:44.279 He obviously if he didn't have a weight belt on, 0:36:44.280 --> 0:36:48.239 he probably would have floated and maybe coughed and caught 0:36:48.320 --> 0:36:49.040 his breath. 0:36:48.880 --> 0:36:49.600 Back or you know. 0:36:50.560 --> 0:36:54.120 But he sank and was found down at the like 0:36:54.320 --> 0:36:57.200 on the bottom of the ocean. Since then, I feel 0:36:57.280 --> 0:36:59.160 like it's been a year and a half. I still 0:36:59.200 --> 0:37:01.040 feel like I'm in so much shock about it. I 0:37:01.280 --> 0:37:04.120 cannot believe he's gone. I cannot believe he's not coming back. 0:37:05.320 --> 0:37:07.480 I say all the time, like I swear he's just 0:37:07.560 --> 0:37:09.080 going to walk in the door. He just I feel 0:37:09.120 --> 0:37:11.320 like his energy is so strong around me, or just 0:37:11.400 --> 0:37:14.720 that he was such a big person, such a character 0:37:14.880 --> 0:37:17.080 in my life and like everyone around us life that 0:37:17.120 --> 0:37:18.600 I just cannot believe that he's gone. 0:37:19.800 --> 0:37:21.920 Where were you when you found out when you got 0:37:21.960 --> 0:37:24.400 the news that something can happened to Chumpy? 0:37:24.480 --> 0:37:26.360 Where were you when. 0:37:26.280 --> 0:37:29.400 Chump left the house that morning? He was going spearfishing, 0:37:29.480 --> 0:37:30.480 so he packed up our car. 0:37:31.400 --> 0:37:32.200 Yeah, we have a van. 0:37:32.320 --> 0:37:34.319 He packed up the van went down like just down 0:37:34.360 --> 0:37:36.880 to the local reef two minutes down the road, and 0:37:36.960 --> 0:37:38.960 I was like, oh, I'll walk running out. Our dog 0:37:39.400 --> 0:37:40.960 took her for a long walk, and on the way 0:37:41.000 --> 0:37:42.719 back from the walks, I'd probably been gone nearly an 0:37:42.760 --> 0:37:44.960 hour and a half. On the way back from the walk, 0:37:45.000 --> 0:37:48.360 I felt like this insane chest pain, like killing me 0:37:48.920 --> 0:37:51.239 right in my chest. And I was thinking we had 0:37:51.280 --> 0:37:53.960 friends coming up to stay that night from Sydney, and 0:37:54.040 --> 0:37:56.240 I was thinking, oh, what like is this and my stress? 0:37:56.480 --> 0:37:58.040 Have I got to do heaps of cooking and cleaning 0:37:58.080 --> 0:38:00.279 with my like anxious because the girls are coming up 0:38:00.360 --> 0:38:02.680 and staying, or like what's going on here. 0:38:02.719 --> 0:38:05.200 I was just like this sucks, This like hurts. You know, 0:38:05.280 --> 0:38:07.200 my chest is killing me. So I'm like stretching out 0:38:07.239 --> 0:38:09.840 my chest. My dog was a bit like what's going on. 0:38:10.440 --> 0:38:12.479 We're both looking at each other like oh, I feel weird, 0:38:13.080 --> 0:38:15.520 and then just brushed that off completely. 0:38:15.640 --> 0:38:17.279 So I always think back to that moment, and I 0:38:17.360 --> 0:38:18.680 believe that was the moment. 0:38:19.400 --> 0:38:23.000 So then I got home about twenty minutes later, thankfully, 0:38:23.120 --> 0:38:24.160 my mom had come over. 0:38:24.760 --> 0:38:28.279 She was helping me clean, and she loves like she's 0:38:28.320 --> 0:38:29.880 good at cleaning bathrooms. I hate doing that. 0:38:29.920 --> 0:38:31.680 I like doing the vacuuming and the mopping, and I 0:38:31.800 --> 0:38:33.320 was like, you can do all the bleachy stuff in 0:38:33.360 --> 0:38:36.680 the bathrooms. I hate that stuff. So she's a legend. 0:38:36.719 --> 0:38:38.920 She leaves down the road. So she was helping me 0:38:39.000 --> 0:38:42.480 clean the house, and my neighbor comes over and she 0:38:42.680 --> 0:38:46.279 was like, hey, Elle, I saw a chump going spearfishing 0:38:46.320 --> 0:38:48.080 this morning. And now I've just read on the Facebook 0:38:48.080 --> 0:38:50.239 community page that there's been someone that's been dragged in 0:38:50.320 --> 0:38:53.480 from Chumpies Reef. Well it's now called Chumpies Reef, And 0:38:54.000 --> 0:38:57.680 straight away I was just like, nah, well thanks for 0:38:57.760 --> 0:39:00.520 telling me, but like it obviously wouldn't be chumpy. If anything, 0:39:00.560 --> 0:39:04.200 he'd be helping that poor person. Or I just he's 0:39:04.280 --> 0:39:06.520 like the strongest, fittest person in the world. 0:39:06.520 --> 0:39:07.240 He's like a fish. 0:39:07.680 --> 0:39:10.560 Also, you just don't think that that person's ever gonna 0:39:10.560 --> 0:39:11.760 be your person exactly. 0:39:11.920 --> 0:39:14.440 You just never like you watch movies about this happening 0:39:14.520 --> 0:39:16.879 and my heart just breaks, and I can't watch sis 0:39:16.960 --> 0:39:18.000 as sad or scary movies. 0:39:18.040 --> 0:39:19.720 I'm just bawling the whole time. And you're always putting 0:39:19.719 --> 0:39:22.440 yourself in the actor's shoes. Me like imagine, like that 0:39:22.440 --> 0:39:23.239 would never happen to. 0:39:23.239 --> 0:39:23.560 Me, you know. 0:39:24.160 --> 0:39:25.759 So I was like my neighbor, I was like, thanks 0:39:25.800 --> 0:39:27.840 for telling me, but yeah, it won't be chumped. Thanks anyway, 0:39:27.880 --> 0:39:28.520 by kind of thing. 0:39:29.239 --> 0:39:31.880 I started going back to cleaning, and then about like 0:39:31.960 --> 0:39:34.040 ten fifteen minutes later, something just hit me in the 0:39:34.120 --> 0:39:35.719 face and I was like, Mom, she was. 0:39:35.760 --> 0:39:37.360 Upstairs and I just screamed. I was like, get in 0:39:37.400 --> 0:39:38.600 the car. We got to go for a drive. 0:39:38.920 --> 0:39:42.040 So went down to the reef and there was like 0:39:42.200 --> 0:39:45.239 so much commotion going on down there. I was just thinking, Nah, 0:39:45.400 --> 0:39:49.600 this won't be chumped, Like he'll be helping. So Mom 0:39:49.680 --> 0:39:52.600 starts sprinting down to the beach. They were trying not 0:39:52.760 --> 0:39:55.440 to let her through. I was just I think by 0:39:55.520 --> 0:39:56.480 that point, I. 0:39:56.560 --> 0:39:58.399 Was a bit like fuck, I've got a really bad 0:39:58.480 --> 0:40:00.719 gut feeling that this is me, this his chump, Like 0:40:01.320 --> 0:40:03.399 no words for that. I just knew something really bad. 0:40:03.440 --> 0:40:05.960 It happened instantly, and then I thought back to that, like, 0:40:06.040 --> 0:40:08.439 I don't know, it was all just clicking in my soul, 0:40:08.600 --> 0:40:12.360 being that something fucked had just happened. And there was 0:40:12.440 --> 0:40:16.000 this cop, like a police right there, and I just said, 0:40:16.040 --> 0:40:16.839 what's happened down there? 0:40:16.840 --> 0:40:19.000 And he goes, oh, you know, we've found a body. 0:40:19.040 --> 0:40:20.640 We've got a body, We've pulled a body. 0:40:20.640 --> 0:40:22.960 And I said, well, my partner was spearfishing out there, 0:40:23.000 --> 0:40:25.120 and he straightaway said does he have any. 0:40:25.040 --> 0:40:26.680 Tattoos on his ribs? 0:40:27.160 --> 0:40:30.960 And I was just like, yeah, he's got an axe 0:40:31.040 --> 0:40:34.520 on his ribs and he just couldn't even look at me. 0:40:34.600 --> 0:40:38.400 He just turned around like walked away, and yeah, so 0:40:38.560 --> 0:40:41.919 that's I guess just I guess that was just the moment, 0:40:41.960 --> 0:40:44.719 and like, yeah, people were always like what was going 0:40:44.800 --> 0:40:47.080 through your head, and it's just nothing was going through 0:40:47.120 --> 0:40:49.239 my head. I was just so blank, and it's just 0:40:49.320 --> 0:40:53.200 crazy to even think back. So Mum came running back 0:40:53.280 --> 0:40:56.520 up the beach, and I think I was just in disbelief. 0:40:56.560 --> 0:40:59.520 I was just like I knew it because I read 0:40:59.600 --> 0:41:02.000 his face and he couldn't face me. Even the cop 0:41:02.040 --> 0:41:04.040 didn't want to tell me, like, yes, that's you know, 0:41:05.360 --> 0:41:07.120 But Mum just came running back up the. 0:41:07.360 --> 0:41:09.560 Beach and described me and her face said everything, and 0:41:09.640 --> 0:41:10.000 I was just. 0:41:10.080 --> 0:41:14.480 Like fuck no, like, surely I think what I was thinking, 0:41:14.640 --> 0:41:16.640 or I was just thinking, it'll just be one of 0:41:16.719 --> 0:41:19.560 those you know, we'll go to the hospital, he'll get like, 0:41:19.719 --> 0:41:21.839 you know, he'll come back, or he's just passed out 0:41:21.840 --> 0:41:22.040 for a. 0:41:22.040 --> 0:41:25.040 Minute or something like, you know, it's not that serious. 0:41:25.760 --> 0:41:28.960 And so, to be honest, the next hours after that 0:41:29.080 --> 0:41:34.640 a complete blur and days, but basically it eventuated. 0:41:34.080 --> 0:41:38.840 That it was chump and just been in shock ever since. 0:41:39.280 --> 0:41:41.640 ALIDI I'm so sorry to like, I'm so sorry to 0:41:41.719 --> 0:41:44.239 make you relive it and tell your story, because like, 0:41:44.960 --> 0:41:47.320 I don't think there will ever come a point in 0:41:47.400 --> 0:41:49.440 time where you'll be able to tell your story and 0:41:49.520 --> 0:41:51.799 it not just hit you in the heart. Because even 0:41:51.840 --> 0:41:54.839 listening to that britt and I have, I'm like, get 0:41:54.920 --> 0:41:57.399 your shit together, Brittany, you can't. Yeah, but it's it's 0:41:57.480 --> 0:41:59.960 not our story, you know, And like sometimes I feel guilty, 0:42:00.000 --> 0:42:02.560 thank you for being so upset for somebody else. And 0:42:02.680 --> 0:42:04.239 like in this case, like hearing you tell a story, 0:42:04.360 --> 0:42:06.920 like it's fucking heartbreaking because you put yourself in that 0:42:07.000 --> 0:42:10.600 position too, Like what if that or my family member? 0:42:10.640 --> 0:42:12.440 And I want to like normalize. 0:42:12.760 --> 0:42:15.960 I mean, I think it's therapeutic and healthy to talk about, 0:42:16.239 --> 0:42:18.600 Like it's so hard to talk about, but I get 0:42:18.680 --> 0:42:21.480 asked it all the time, So I think it's therapeutic 0:42:21.560 --> 0:42:24.319 to talk about because you know, there is PTSD either, 0:42:24.360 --> 0:42:26.399 And if I don't talk about it and normalize talking 0:42:26.440 --> 0:42:29.799 about it, people live with grief and trauma and they 0:42:29.880 --> 0:42:31.960 don't express it and bottles up inside them and it 0:42:32.239 --> 0:42:34.840 in turn, like later down the track that causes. 0:42:34.520 --> 0:42:36.120 Like disease in your own being. 0:42:36.520 --> 0:42:39.600 And also I think like we as a society, we're 0:42:39.680 --> 0:42:43.400 so adverse to talking about grief because it makes people uncomfortable, 0:42:43.440 --> 0:42:46.160 you know, like seeing somebody else's pain and dealing with 0:42:46.239 --> 0:42:50.640 somebody else's grief. It often will avoid asking big questions 0:42:50.920 --> 0:42:53.320 that result in them being upset because we kind of 0:42:53.600 --> 0:42:55.400 don't want to. We don't want to upset someone, but 0:42:55.480 --> 0:42:57.520 the hurt is still there regardless of whether you talk 0:42:57.560 --> 0:42:58.160 about it or not. 0:42:58.840 --> 0:43:00.640 How do you start? 0:43:01.120 --> 0:43:02.800 I don't even think you start, but like, where do 0:43:02.920 --> 0:43:05.960 you start to work through that grief? How do you 0:43:06.040 --> 0:43:08.360 start to kind of take a step each day that 0:43:08.520 --> 0:43:10.120 comes up? What's next? 0:43:10.640 --> 0:43:10.839 Yeah? 0:43:11.520 --> 0:43:15.399 I think, And everyone obviously handles these situations completely different. 0:43:15.440 --> 0:43:17.520 I've got widow friends that I've now met that have 0:43:17.640 --> 0:43:19.680 also lost the loves of their life, and I've met 0:43:19.719 --> 0:43:21.719 them on social media and so we've like banded together 0:43:21.760 --> 0:43:23.719 and we sit up late at night in chat and 0:43:23.800 --> 0:43:25.839 that's how That's literally how I got through at the start. 0:43:26.440 --> 0:43:29.000 But I remember the first I mean, I don't know 0:43:29.040 --> 0:43:30.320 if it was like the first night, but I just 0:43:30.400 --> 0:43:33.560 remember in general thinking how can I go back to 0:43:33.680 --> 0:43:35.839 our house and sleep in our. 0:43:35.800 --> 0:43:38.359 Bed and go back to like our life and our 0:43:38.480 --> 0:43:42.000 things like? But then also how can I not? Would 0:43:42.000 --> 0:43:43.239 I want to be anywhere else? Do I want to 0:43:43.280 --> 0:43:44.279 pack up everything and move? 0:43:44.880 --> 0:43:45.040 You know? 0:43:45.360 --> 0:43:46.680 There was like all that going through my. 0:43:46.760 --> 0:43:51.360 Head, But the safest place for me felt like my 0:43:51.560 --> 0:43:53.880 room and our house was like my little sanctuary, and 0:43:54.120 --> 0:43:58.360 that's where I felt safest to grieve and to process everything. 0:43:58.400 --> 0:44:00.040 And I didn't want to even leave my house. I 0:44:00.080 --> 0:44:02.760 didn't want to do anything but be in our space. Weirdly, 0:44:02.800 --> 0:44:04.480 I don't know if it was because I felt like 0:44:04.600 --> 0:44:07.400 he was there, or I just felt like this protection 0:44:07.520 --> 0:44:10.920 in the house in such a vulnerable time where like 0:44:11.040 --> 0:44:15.080 I was just completely broken into pieces, and I was 0:44:15.200 --> 0:44:18.480 so glad I felt grounded in our house because I 0:44:18.560 --> 0:44:20.759 couldn't imagine and this would happen to a lot of 0:44:20.840 --> 0:44:23.200 widows or you know, people going through massive loss they 0:44:23.239 --> 0:44:25.720 need to up and move. And maybe also because COVID 0:44:25.760 --> 0:44:28.480 was around, I couldn't just fuck off overseas and like restart, 0:44:28.520 --> 0:44:32.160 and I had had our dog, and do you know what, 0:44:32.400 --> 0:44:36.000 my life essentially, apart from Chump being completely gone, I 0:44:36.160 --> 0:44:37.960 just kept doing what we would do every day. I 0:44:38.040 --> 0:44:39.560 just kept going to the beach in the morning with 0:44:39.680 --> 0:44:43.160 my dog and walking her and just keeping some sort 0:44:43.160 --> 0:44:46.279 of routine in my life. I had all my friends 0:44:46.320 --> 0:44:49.239 and family around me constantly. I was barely alone, you 0:44:49.400 --> 0:44:51.839 know what, you just keep going like I just didn't 0:44:51.880 --> 0:44:53.960 have a choice. And people are always like, you're so strong, 0:44:54.000 --> 0:44:54.680 You're so amazing. 0:44:54.719 --> 0:44:56.399 I'm like, I'm not amazing. I'm not strong. 0:44:56.440 --> 0:44:59.759 I just actually don't have a choice, and I think 0:44:59.800 --> 0:45:03.279 I'm such a rational, realistic person, and I was just like, 0:45:03.560 --> 0:45:06.920 I either die here today with Chump, like let my 0:45:07.160 --> 0:45:09.600 or not maybe not physically die, but like let myself 0:45:09.800 --> 0:45:11.160 just die, or I just. 0:45:11.200 --> 0:45:13.799 Pick myself up and I just keep going. Well that's 0:45:13.800 --> 0:45:14.839 my only option, right. 0:45:15.440 --> 0:45:18.719 Does it get easier though as time goes on, I 0:45:19.080 --> 0:45:22.400 feel like it did get harder a few months ago, 0:45:23.320 --> 0:45:25.040 like I was in so much shock for so long, 0:45:25.320 --> 0:45:26.280 so much shocked. 0:45:26.280 --> 0:45:27.480 I was honestly like a robot. 0:45:27.520 --> 0:45:30.399 I'd just be doing normal things, just out and about, 0:45:30.480 --> 0:45:32.719 kind of doing normal things. My friends would just be 0:45:32.840 --> 0:45:34.719 like staring at me, like how are you just you know, 0:45:34.840 --> 0:45:36.000 out for a coffee right now? 0:45:36.080 --> 0:45:37.480 Like what is going through your head? 0:45:37.560 --> 0:45:40.200 Like I was just on autopilot. It was like proper 0:45:40.280 --> 0:45:42.919 out of body experiences. I would kind of like watch 0:45:43.040 --> 0:45:45.719 myself from above, just doing normal things. But I'd also 0:45:45.800 --> 0:45:48.480 be thinking, like, how are we just out and about 0:45:48.520 --> 0:45:51.200 doing normal shit? Why a cafes even open right now? 0:45:51.360 --> 0:45:55.520 Chump's gone, like what? But I can't even explain it. 0:45:55.600 --> 0:45:57.440 It's the most crazy thing. 0:45:57.680 --> 0:46:00.880 But I think everybody does, like you said, everyone differently, 0:46:00.920 --> 0:46:02.680 and no one is ever gonna be able to understand 0:46:02.680 --> 0:46:05.279 what it's like. But were there ever moments where you 0:46:06.160 --> 0:46:09.640 felt guilty, like in terms of you were having fun 0:46:09.719 --> 0:46:11.920 with your friends, or you were laughing, or maybe you 0:46:12.000 --> 0:46:14.760 weren't thinking about him for ten minutes while you're doing something. 0:46:14.880 --> 0:46:17.279 Do you have moments of guilt like I shouldn't feel 0:46:17.360 --> 0:46:20.120 this reprieve and relief when he's not here. 0:46:20.320 --> 0:46:21.680 It's such a catch twenty two. 0:46:21.760 --> 0:46:24.520 So I'd find myself like out with friends, laughing my 0:46:24.600 --> 0:46:26.719 head off, having a great time just months after. 0:46:27.600 --> 0:46:29.400 But don't get me wrong, people would. 0:46:29.239 --> 0:46:31.320 Say like, hey, if you don't mind me asking like 0:46:31.480 --> 0:46:33.800 you know, or bring up chump or ask something, and 0:46:33.840 --> 0:46:36.239 I'd be like, hey, you're not reminding me, Like it's 0:46:36.360 --> 0:46:39.440 always here, it's right here. So yeah, I would be 0:46:39.520 --> 0:46:41.279 having fun and I would kind of feel guilty. But 0:46:41.360 --> 0:46:43.279 then when i'd go home and crawl into a hole 0:46:43.400 --> 0:46:45.520 or say whether I'm alone or with someone, and I'd 0:46:45.640 --> 0:46:49.120 like how or like just be super to have a 0:46:49.239 --> 0:46:51.959 really depressing day, or like a big wave of grief 0:46:52.000 --> 0:46:53.680 would come and I'd just be debilitated. 0:46:54.000 --> 0:46:56.719 I'd feel also so guilty about that because I don't 0:46:56.760 --> 0:46:57.120 want him. 0:46:58.040 --> 0:46:59.680 I just I don't want him looking down on me, 0:46:59.800 --> 0:47:04.160 like just kind of dying, you know, or yeah, so 0:47:04.280 --> 0:47:07.160 I don't know. I'd feel there's just literally no right 0:47:07.239 --> 0:47:09.440 or wrong. I felt so guilty about anything I did. 0:47:10.000 --> 0:47:11.799 Anyone knows that their loved ones are going to want 0:47:11.800 --> 0:47:13.719 them to be happy and move on. He's not going 0:47:13.760 --> 0:47:16.120 to want to ever see you upset, and that doesn't 0:47:16.160 --> 0:47:17.920 help the situation. It doesn't make you say a cool 0:47:17.960 --> 0:47:20.160 I won't be upset then, But I guess there is 0:47:20.360 --> 0:47:25.000 some comfort in that. Let's talk about this sperm retrieval. 0:47:25.080 --> 0:47:27.719 You guys had plans for a baby you had, and 0:47:27.880 --> 0:47:31.120 obviously that hadn't happened yet. I think ninety percent people 0:47:31.120 --> 0:47:32.480 are not going to know what it is or that 0:47:32.560 --> 0:47:35.800 it's an option. Well, originally, before hearing your story even today, 0:47:36.000 --> 0:47:38.480 and I've followed a lot of your story, I had 0:47:38.480 --> 0:47:40.560 thought that you guys had already gone down the process 0:47:40.680 --> 0:47:43.600 of IVF and that that had already been something they 0:47:43.680 --> 0:47:45.759 had his sperm or something already, so there was a 0:47:45.840 --> 0:47:49.160 decision about how to use it. I never realized that actually, 0:47:49.520 --> 0:47:52.080 after Trumpy had passed away, there was a period there 0:47:52.120 --> 0:47:55.200 where there was a conversation around sperm retrieval. Yeah, it's 0:47:55.360 --> 0:47:57.359 very limited, isn't it's like twenty four hours. 0:47:57.440 --> 0:47:58.920 Yeah, you have to do it really quickly. 0:47:59.200 --> 0:47:59.759 So is that like? 0:48:00.520 --> 0:48:03.080 Yeah, well, I honestly don't remember a great deal. So 0:48:03.160 --> 0:48:05.840 Chumpy's parents flew up straight away. They're down in like 0:48:05.960 --> 0:48:07.800 on the border of New South Wales and Victoria, So 0:48:07.840 --> 0:48:09.960 they flew up to the Gold Coast straight away, and 0:48:10.719 --> 0:48:13.920 in so much shock as you can imagine. Two of 0:48:14.040 --> 0:48:16.600 my friends, Laura and Chloe had floated the idea of 0:48:16.640 --> 0:48:19.960 sperm retrieval with my mum and my brother, and nobody 0:48:20.040 --> 0:48:22.960 had heard about it. Laura had by chance heard about 0:48:23.000 --> 0:48:27.000 it randomly and just maybe quickly researched it, figured out 0:48:27.000 --> 0:48:28.239 it was a thing, and then floated it with my 0:48:28.320 --> 0:48:29.000 mum and my brother. 0:48:29.480 --> 0:48:31.360 Everyone was kind of like, oh, that's so like do 0:48:31.480 --> 0:48:31.960 we ask her? 0:48:32.040 --> 0:48:34.320 I don't know, but we're talking about floating this idea 0:48:34.440 --> 0:48:37.120 is in like that day, aren't we? Like? The turnaround? 0:48:37.320 --> 0:48:39.960 Is that's not? Yeah? Like the turn This isn't like 0:48:40.040 --> 0:48:42.200 two weeks later. This isn't something you know, go back to. 0:48:42.320 --> 0:48:43.160 It is immediate. 0:48:43.360 --> 0:48:45.640 Yeah, So it was you just found out that Chumpy 0:48:45.680 --> 0:48:48.759 had passed away. Yes, and your friends and family were 0:48:48.800 --> 0:48:51.839 thinking literally that same day, like, how do we bring 0:48:51.920 --> 0:48:54.920 this up with led? Pretty incredible, amazing that they have 0:48:55.239 --> 0:48:57.960 the capacity to think like that in such like diastraits. 0:48:58.360 --> 0:49:00.839 I remember my brother and I don't even know how 0:49:00.840 --> 0:49:02.919 I remember this. I remember sitting out on the back 0:49:02.960 --> 0:49:06.080 deck just like with my head in my knees and 0:49:06.200 --> 0:49:08.919 my brother coming up to me saying, I think there's 0:49:09.080 --> 0:49:10.560 like this way that we might be able to get 0:49:10.640 --> 0:49:14.280 chumpy sperm. And I didn't even let him finish this sentence. 0:49:14.320 --> 0:49:17.680 I was just like, go, yes, do whatever you have to. 0:49:17.880 --> 0:49:21.760 I don't know what that even means, Like, yes, sorted 0:49:21.840 --> 0:49:24.440 out with whoever you have to talk to. Yeah, just 0:49:24.480 --> 0:49:26.319 make it happen, pretty much. I just was like, that's 0:49:26.360 --> 0:49:28.640 that's the end of the conversation. Make it happen, please. 0:49:29.040 --> 0:49:31.560 So Trump's parents were obviously like all for it. Everyone 0:49:31.640 --> 0:49:33.879 knew we were trying for a baby already, so each 0:49:33.960 --> 0:49:35.040 month they were like, are you pregnant? 0:49:35.080 --> 0:49:36.960 Are you pregnant yet? Like you know, it wasn't like 0:49:37.440 --> 0:49:38.920 a secret that we wanted a family. 0:49:39.000 --> 0:49:42.200 Were trying for a while, and IVF was definitely on 0:49:42.280 --> 0:49:43.880 the cards because I had a low egg count, so 0:49:43.920 --> 0:49:47.120 it was literally going to be our next step just obviously. 0:49:46.840 --> 0:49:48.160 Didn't think I would be doing it alone. 0:49:48.840 --> 0:49:51.680 So yeah, they're all signing like you know, legal things, 0:49:51.760 --> 0:49:54.359 talking to the coroners, and I'd like to be honest, 0:49:54.360 --> 0:49:56.399 I don't even have to get my mum or Chloe 0:49:56.520 --> 0:49:57.960 on to tell you what they did, because I was 0:49:58.040 --> 0:49:59.879 not even mentally or physically there. 0:50:00.160 --> 0:50:02.960 That incredible, though, that you can just sit there and 0:50:03.080 --> 0:50:04.920 say and like that you have the people around you 0:50:05.000 --> 0:50:07.600 that are like, don't even think about it, just say 0:50:07.680 --> 0:50:09.239 yes and we'll sort it. And then you've just got 0:50:09.320 --> 0:50:11.640 friends and family that I can imagine the stress and 0:50:11.680 --> 0:50:14.239 anxiety for them also just saying cool, I have like 0:50:14.360 --> 0:50:17.000 twenty four hours to just get this done. And it 0:50:17.080 --> 0:50:19.880 blows my mind, like, what incredible village you have around you? 0:50:20.360 --> 0:50:23.279 How much time do you have so after somebody has 0:50:23.320 --> 0:50:26.480 passed away to be able to retrieve sperm for it 0:50:26.600 --> 0:50:27.879 to still be viable to use. 0:50:28.400 --> 0:50:32.000 Yeah, so I don't know the exact timings. I mean, 0:50:32.120 --> 0:50:34.319 like legally, I think each state's different, but I think 0:50:34.400 --> 0:50:37.360 legally it has to be. Maybe they're no longer than 0:50:37.480 --> 0:50:38.520 thirty six hours. 0:50:38.719 --> 0:50:40.319 I think I did look this up, and I think 0:50:40.400 --> 0:50:42.279 for your state it was thirty six hours I'll double 0:50:42.400 --> 0:50:43.600 check that. But that's not long. 0:50:43.840 --> 0:50:44.799 No, that's not long at all. 0:50:45.000 --> 0:50:48.600 However, sperm apparently can stay alive for a number of days. 0:50:48.719 --> 0:50:51.440 I think, depending on the nature of the accident, it 0:50:51.560 --> 0:50:54.040 can survive within a person's body for a number of days. 0:50:54.080 --> 0:50:57.040 But like legally to retrieve it, Yeah, thirty six hours 0:50:57.080 --> 0:51:00.320 in Queensland, and we were so so lucky that the 0:51:00.440 --> 0:51:04.280 sperm was alive and healthy when the doctor yeah, retrieved 0:51:04.320 --> 0:51:06.560 it because I think he was so nervous that it 0:51:06.640 --> 0:51:07.680 was he wasn't gonna be alive. 0:51:08.440 --> 0:51:10.479 What was that like? That period of life? I guess 0:51:10.760 --> 0:51:12.920 when you've already decided you're gonna have a baby, you 0:51:13.040 --> 0:51:14.840 have all these plans, you have all these ideas for 0:51:14.840 --> 0:51:17.000 what your life is going to be. Then everything gets 0:51:17.080 --> 0:51:20.400 flipped on its head instantly. But you still have that opportunity, 0:51:20.680 --> 0:51:22.680 you say, like almost instantly you will like go and 0:51:22.800 --> 0:51:24.560 do it whatever you need to do. I still want 0:51:24.600 --> 0:51:26.200 to have this baby, I still want to do this. 0:51:27.160 --> 0:51:29.880 How are you able to like compartmentalize that so quickly. 0:51:31.320 --> 0:51:33.480 I mean, look, I had to. 0:51:34.000 --> 0:51:37.360 Yeah, I had heaps of counseling, Like I wasn't feeling 0:51:37.440 --> 0:51:39.719 much at the fate at that moment, I was in 0:51:39.880 --> 0:51:42.480 so much shocked still, it was almost like I had 0:51:42.520 --> 0:51:44.840 to google how to grieve or like, I mean, obviously 0:51:44.880 --> 0:51:46.840 I didn't do that, but in my head, I was like, 0:51:47.080 --> 0:51:49.440 the biggest thing that ever happened to my life. 0:51:49.280 --> 0:51:51.880 Has just happened. Like this isn't normal at all. What 0:51:52.000 --> 0:51:53.319 am I going to do? I need help? 0:51:53.680 --> 0:51:56.520 So I started booking in psychology things and just trying 0:51:56.560 --> 0:51:58.160 to get my head straight. But it was way too 0:51:58.200 --> 0:51:59.759 early because I still didn't know what was going on. 0:52:00.040 --> 0:52:01.480 Yeah, it was the weirdest thing I think. 0:52:01.880 --> 0:52:03.480 I think I was trying to get on the forefront 0:52:03.520 --> 0:52:05.320 of my grief, but I just had no idea the 0:52:05.440 --> 0:52:07.040 vortex that I was in, do you know what I mean? 0:52:07.080 --> 0:52:10.000 I was so in it that I couldn't really It's. 0:52:09.920 --> 0:52:13.120 Like you were anticipating, yeah, grief, like you were anticipating, 0:52:13.640 --> 0:52:15.080 not that you hadn't felt it, but you were like, 0:52:15.160 --> 0:52:16.919 I know I'm gonna need it, but you hadn't even gone. 0:52:17.000 --> 0:52:19.280 You didn't even know what these processes were exactly. 0:52:19.360 --> 0:52:22.839 And I was so scared that because I'd felt nothing, nothing, nothing, 0:52:22.920 --> 0:52:25.800 my body was just protecting me like the shock mechanism. 0:52:26.160 --> 0:52:28.759 I thought that like a bus would hit me one 0:52:28.840 --> 0:52:32.440 day and I'd just be like completely just stabilitated by it. 0:52:33.320 --> 0:52:36.480 But basically, thank goodness, that didn't happen. It was more 0:52:36.600 --> 0:52:39.520 just like slow waves of grief started flurrying in and 0:52:40.400 --> 0:52:43.480 I stayed busy. I kept going. I said to someone 0:52:43.520 --> 0:52:45.560 the other day, like, I think I grieve on the go, 0:52:45.920 --> 0:52:47.839 Like I'm just really good on my feet. I don't 0:52:47.880 --> 0:52:49.480 really stop. I never did before. 0:52:49.520 --> 0:52:51.960 I was like always a very busy person and like 0:52:52.080 --> 0:52:54.719 super social too. So my friends just come along for 0:52:54.800 --> 0:52:56.479 the ride. And if I'm happy that day, I'm happy. 0:52:56.520 --> 0:52:58.560 If I'm having a moment that day, I'm having a moment, 0:52:58.640 --> 0:53:01.120 But we always do find a't to laugh or something 0:53:01.200 --> 0:53:03.680 like I'm not it's just super up and down, and 0:53:03.800 --> 0:53:05.759 they grieve with me, Thank goodness. So I felt like 0:53:05.800 --> 0:53:09.520 I was always able to express myself like clicked. One day, 0:53:09.680 --> 0:53:11.879 I felt like I was just like, no, the next 0:53:11.920 --> 0:53:14.520 step for me is I'm having Chump's kid, Like, oh, 0:53:14.560 --> 0:53:15.320 we've got the sperm. 0:53:15.640 --> 0:53:17.600 What am I waiting for? I'm young, I'm healthy. 0:53:17.760 --> 0:53:20.359 This is the time I want to bring a piece 0:53:20.400 --> 0:53:22.320 of him back. I don't want to wait any longer. 0:53:22.520 --> 0:53:25.840 And yeah, I just I felt set up and confident 0:53:26.520 --> 0:53:29.120 to do it, and I'm obviously I'll be grieving forever. 0:53:29.200 --> 0:53:31.799 It wasn't like, Okay, cool, I've accepted he's gone. I'm 0:53:31.840 --> 0:53:34.480 done grieving, let's go into the baby face. I was like, 0:53:35.000 --> 0:53:37.879 I'm just going to live life alongside this grief. Yes, 0:53:37.920 --> 0:53:40.920 I'm gonna be pregnant. Yes, my health will be like paramount, 0:53:40.960 --> 0:53:43.239 and I won't let like depression or anything get in 0:53:43.320 --> 0:53:45.759 the way of carrying like a healthy baby. But it's 0:53:45.880 --> 0:53:47.839 just like this ongoing thing that I would just steal 0:53:47.880 --> 0:53:50.000 with forever, I guess. And I think I've just accepted that, 0:53:50.200 --> 0:53:53.120 and I try and just live like a very full 0:53:53.239 --> 0:53:57.480 life alongside just missing him and pining for him. But 0:53:57.600 --> 0:54:00.520 they say that grief is just love that has nowhere 0:54:00.560 --> 0:54:03.959 to go. And I think having Mini, I've got someone 0:54:04.040 --> 0:54:06.279 to love and to cherish and to protect. And she's like, 0:54:06.640 --> 0:54:09.400 she's not chumpy, She'll never be chumpy. She'll never be 0:54:09.560 --> 0:54:12.600 like my husband or my person. But you know, I've 0:54:12.640 --> 0:54:14.560 got something to put my love and energy into and 0:54:15.080 --> 0:54:16.479 she's just the best thing in the world. 0:54:16.480 --> 0:54:18.000 I don't know what I'd do without her, or was 0:54:18.040 --> 0:54:21.120 there ever a time. Firstly, when you said there was 0:54:21.160 --> 0:54:23.000 one day where you were finally ready. What was the 0:54:23.080 --> 0:54:24.360 time period between that? 0:54:24.640 --> 0:54:25.000 And then? 0:54:25.600 --> 0:54:29.520 Secondly, was there ever a time like was it always yes, 0:54:29.680 --> 0:54:33.160 I'm having a baby, or was there any reservations ever 0:54:33.320 --> 0:54:36.400 about oh gosh, like I am going to look at 0:54:36.400 --> 0:54:38.520 a part of my past forever. Is that going to 0:54:38.560 --> 0:54:40.919 be too hard? Was there ever this question in your head? 0:54:41.400 --> 0:54:45.160 No? So yeah, I think we waited. I mean, wasn't 0:54:45.160 --> 0:54:45.600 even waited. 0:54:45.640 --> 0:54:47.880 But it was about six months after when I realized 0:54:47.880 --> 0:54:49.160 that I just need to go ahead and do the 0:54:49.200 --> 0:54:51.520 IVF and I cannot wait to be pregnant and carry 0:54:51.560 --> 0:54:53.800 his child and have Chump's baby, like we were always 0:54:53.840 --> 0:54:56.480 going to and like carry on our dream, and I 0:54:56.600 --> 0:54:57.040 wanted to. 0:54:57.239 --> 0:54:59.360 Carry on his legacy. I never wanted him to be 0:54:59.440 --> 0:55:00.319 the elephant the room. 0:55:00.360 --> 0:55:03.000 I never want to jump to just die and be gone, 0:55:03.239 --> 0:55:05.839 Like I just I want to forever be talking about him. 0:55:05.880 --> 0:55:08.040 Like when I talk about normalizing grief, I'm talking about 0:55:08.400 --> 0:55:10.959 always celebrating that person. I never want to stop talking 0:55:11.000 --> 0:55:13.520 about him, and his family is the same. We get together, 0:55:13.719 --> 0:55:15.960 We're always talking about him. I'd hate if my friends 0:55:16.000 --> 0:55:18.719 stop talking about him. It's never something I wanted to 0:55:18.800 --> 0:55:20.839 be like, Okay, that was a chapter in my life. 0:55:20.960 --> 0:55:23.400 By that happened, that was really sad. I don't want 0:55:23.440 --> 0:55:25.360 to talk about it. I want to talk about it forever. 0:55:25.480 --> 0:55:27.080 I want him to still be a massive part of 0:55:27.160 --> 0:55:30.560 my life forever. And we wanted a baby, so why 0:55:30.719 --> 0:55:33.239 not carry on our dream without him? 0:55:33.600 --> 0:55:35.759 Mini is like I mean I said, I got to 0:55:35.800 --> 0:55:38.720 hold her like she's it's incredible, Like having a baby 0:55:38.880 --> 0:55:42.200 is incredible. And no matter how a baby comes into 0:55:42.200 --> 0:55:43.719 the world, you have this moment where you're like, that's 0:55:43.760 --> 0:55:46.200 a fucking miracle, Like that human is a little miracle. 0:55:46.560 --> 0:55:50.680 Yours is genuinely a miracle. What was the process around? 0:55:51.120 --> 0:55:53.080 Is it normal IVF? Like what did you have to 0:55:53.160 --> 0:55:55.120 go through in order to make it happen? Yes? 0:55:55.320 --> 0:55:57.560 So, And this is where I learned a lot about IVF. 0:55:57.960 --> 0:56:00.720 My doctor had to do a process called IXY because 0:56:00.880 --> 0:56:05.879 the sperm was not like ejaculated. It was I don't 0:56:05.880 --> 0:56:08.880 know what you would call it, extracted, Yeah, extracted. So 0:56:09.520 --> 0:56:11.480 IXY is just a form of IVF and they do 0:56:11.600 --> 0:56:15.080 it with lots of guys who are alive. Their sperm 0:56:15.160 --> 0:56:17.600 may just work in a different way or not work 0:56:17.640 --> 0:56:20.000 when it's ejaculated or something. So it's called IXY, this 0:56:20.360 --> 0:56:22.600 procedure that they do with some types of sperm, and 0:56:22.719 --> 0:56:25.800 basically they have the egg and they get like the 0:56:26.360 --> 0:56:28.239 needle or something with the sperm in it, and they 0:56:28.320 --> 0:56:31.640 actually just puncture the actual egg and inject the sperm 0:56:31.760 --> 0:56:33.879 straight into the egg. So it's got the best chance 0:56:33.960 --> 0:56:39.400 of i don't know, like taking it fertilization. So that worked, 0:56:39.440 --> 0:56:42.200 Thank goodness, we fertilized a bunch of eggs. The first 0:56:42.280 --> 0:56:44.160 round of IVF didn't work. In the second round worked. 0:56:44.280 --> 0:56:46.000 But to be honest, when I signed up for IVF 0:56:46.280 --> 0:56:48.520 and I didn't have heaps of I mean, obviously I 0:56:48.520 --> 0:56:49.959 had all the time in the world, but I didn't 0:56:50.000 --> 0:56:52.120 have all the money in the world, and IVF is expensive, so. 0:56:52.120 --> 0:56:54.120 I was like, I'm not just going to push this 0:56:54.280 --> 0:56:56.360 thing uphill. If you know, if it's meant to be, 0:56:56.480 --> 0:56:58.200 it's got to happen in the first few rounds. I'm 0:56:58.200 --> 0:56:59.480 not going to do like ten rounds of this. 0:56:59.640 --> 0:57:02.000 Like lots people do IVF forever, and my heart goes 0:57:02.040 --> 0:57:05.040 out to them because it's hectic, all the hormones and 0:57:05.080 --> 0:57:05.520 everything you. 0:57:05.560 --> 0:57:06.200 Have to go through. 0:57:06.680 --> 0:57:08.799 So you had told yourself that you had said, look, up, 0:57:08.840 --> 0:57:10.520 I'm going to give it like four times or something. 0:57:10.600 --> 0:57:13.120 Yeah, I hadn't said a specific number, but I was like, 0:57:13.239 --> 0:57:15.719 I can't afford to do too many rounds, so let's 0:57:15.800 --> 0:57:18.040 just give it a shot and see what happens. And 0:57:18.120 --> 0:57:19.920 it was just like a case by case situation. So 0:57:20.000 --> 0:57:22.120 first round didn't work, second round. 0:57:22.000 --> 0:57:26.080 Worked, and yeah, I just literally could not be more 0:57:26.120 --> 0:57:29.480 grateful because Chloe, like my best friend, is going through 0:57:29.560 --> 0:57:30.800 IVF so many. 0:57:30.760 --> 0:57:33.880 Fertility issues and it's massive. So many people go through 0:57:33.920 --> 0:57:36.919 rounds and rounds and around. So I feel so lucky 0:57:37.000 --> 0:57:38.640 that that happened on the second round. 0:57:39.080 --> 0:57:40.880 I mean, that's the thing, isn't it. It's like a 0:57:41.160 --> 0:57:43.240 we don't know what a fertility is. And like you said, 0:57:43.280 --> 0:57:45.040 you checked your account, I did the same. My phrase 0:57:45.080 --> 0:57:46.960 makes last year, I have a really low egccount. But 0:57:47.200 --> 0:57:50.280 there are so many women unfortunately that Anna's lucky in 0:57:50.320 --> 0:57:53.080 the sense that it took the second time. How many 0:57:53.400 --> 0:57:55.400 This is just like a bit of a medical curiosity 0:57:55.480 --> 0:57:59.240 question how much sperm do they extract in terms of 0:57:59.360 --> 0:58:01.280 like did you do you know that you only had 0:58:01.360 --> 0:58:03.680 say three or four embryos, or do you have an 0:58:03.720 --> 0:58:06.240 excessive amount of sperm that you could constantly try to 0:58:06.360 --> 0:58:11.480 make embros. So basically the doctor was able to extract 0:58:11.760 --> 0:58:16.000 like millions, I believe of little spermis amazing. You're like, 0:58:16.080 --> 0:58:16.760 I'll take my pick. 0:58:16.880 --> 0:58:18.200 Yeah, I hope could have a village. 0:58:18.520 --> 0:58:21.600 But of the million, say, for example, like if it 0:58:21.680 --> 0:58:23.640 was a million, I don't know how many million or whatever, 0:58:24.000 --> 0:58:26.080 but one percent of them were viable. 0:58:26.400 --> 0:58:28.840 But I guess that's still a shitload if you're talking 0:58:28.880 --> 0:58:30.080 about a million, do you know what I mean? 0:58:30.280 --> 0:58:31.600 I mean, it's great for you now, but it just 0:58:31.640 --> 0:58:34.040 sucks that the women we get these tiny amount of eggs, 0:58:34.120 --> 0:58:36.280 but men are just shooting out sperm Leffron and Center 0:58:36.440 --> 0:58:38.479 so much like they're getting millions of those bad boys. 0:58:38.560 --> 0:58:39.960 We're like lucky if we get some of us. A 0:58:40.000 --> 0:58:41.520 lucky if we can extract a few eggs. 0:58:41.720 --> 0:58:43.840 I know, it's not bloody fair. It's going to pop it. 0:58:44.400 --> 0:58:47.200 That's not fair. Okay, So you took the second time? 0:58:48.000 --> 0:58:49.920 Did you find out? I mean, we know now you 0:58:50.000 --> 0:58:51.760 have a beautiful little girl called Mini, But did you 0:58:51.800 --> 0:58:52.240 find out what. 0:58:52.280 --> 0:58:52.760 You were having? 0:58:52.880 --> 0:58:54.600 Did you keep it a surprise? 0:58:54.720 --> 0:58:54.760 No? 0:58:55.040 --> 0:58:57.000 I was always someone that was like I would never 0:58:57.120 --> 0:59:00.600 find out. I love surprises and Chumpy was like, nap, 0:59:00.680 --> 0:59:02.920 we would have to find out. He's so I think 0:59:02.960 --> 0:59:05.240 the athlete in him is like, you know, they have 0:59:05.360 --> 0:59:08.920 to control this situation, and like he doesn't like surprises. 0:59:09.400 --> 0:59:11.000 So he was always like, we'd have to find out, 0:59:11.000 --> 0:59:12.400 and I was like, I'm not letting you find out, 0:59:12.520 --> 0:59:13.560 Like you're just not finding out. 0:59:13.600 --> 0:59:14.960 So he was just like growing in me. 0:59:15.520 --> 0:59:16.560 Yeah, I get the last day. 0:59:17.000 --> 0:59:19.640 So he always like agreed to fine, it's going to 0:59:19.720 --> 0:59:22.960 kill me, but we won't find out. And yeah, of 0:59:23.080 --> 0:59:25.840 course he wasn't here, but I didn't find out, and 0:59:25.960 --> 0:59:28.160 it was just the best surprise not knowing. 0:59:28.560 --> 0:59:31.120 But by the end, I just knew she was a 0:59:31.160 --> 0:59:33.040 little girl. I knew it well. 0:59:33.080 --> 0:59:34.920 Everyone was saying boy, and I think that they wanted 0:59:35.040 --> 0:59:37.160 me to have a boy because of Chump, And I 0:59:37.240 --> 0:59:38.200 think at first I was like. 0:59:38.200 --> 0:59:39.800 Oh, if it was a little boy, that'd be so cool. 0:59:40.480 --> 0:59:43.400 But I'm so I just love that she's a girl. 0:59:43.440 --> 0:59:46.120 And the more like, as my pregnancy went on, I 0:59:46.600 --> 0:59:48.800 really felt that she was a girl and I was 0:59:48.960 --> 0:59:51.160 kind of getting a bit scared in case. I mean, 0:59:51.200 --> 0:59:54.760 obviously I would have been beyond stoked with whatever gender 0:59:54.880 --> 0:59:58.080 I got, but I feel like if I was Jump's 0:59:58.080 --> 1:00:00.120 little boy and Trump wasn't here, I'd feel like have 1:00:00.280 --> 1:00:02.040 heaps to like live up to be, like. 1:00:02.040 --> 1:00:04.040 How do I make you a world champion Olympia? 1:00:05.360 --> 1:00:06.960 And I don't want this boy to feel like he's 1:00:07.040 --> 1:00:09.520 filling a void or something like totally. 1:00:09.560 --> 1:00:11.720 I mean, look, Minnie could have been a boy. 1:00:11.680 --> 1:00:13.920 And I would be definitely not saying this and not 1:00:13.960 --> 1:00:16.000 even thinking it because I'd just be so beyond stoke 1:00:16.080 --> 1:00:18.200 to have a baby. But now that she's a girl, 1:00:18.760 --> 1:00:21.840 I am just so stoked and so glad. I've got 1:00:21.840 --> 1:00:23.000 a little like a little best. 1:00:22.840 --> 1:00:23.760 Friend, do you know what I mean? 1:00:24.400 --> 1:00:26.880 What was the day like when you went into labor 1:00:27.360 --> 1:00:29.640 and you went into the hospital to have Minnie? What 1:00:29.880 --> 1:00:32.600 was that process like for you? Like how was your labor? 1:00:32.640 --> 1:00:34.680 I'm such a perv for birth stories, but like what 1:00:34.920 --> 1:00:37.720 was your labor like? And what was the experience? Who 1:00:37.760 --> 1:00:38.400 did you have with you? 1:00:39.280 --> 1:00:41.720 My mum came into the birthing speech. She was like 1:00:41.840 --> 1:00:44.640 my person. She was amazing. She was so strong and 1:00:44.760 --> 1:00:45.720 just held me together. 1:00:46.240 --> 1:00:48.880 But I had like early labor at home from four 1:00:48.920 --> 1:00:51.080 am to four pm before we went into the hospital 1:00:51.120 --> 1:00:52.160 around four pm that day. 1:00:52.200 --> 1:00:56.120 Oh my god, I'm like, I'm done. Girlfriend, You've got 1:00:56.160 --> 1:00:59.520 no idea. Lady, Oh, I had definitely been off cooked. 1:01:00.120 --> 1:01:02.120 It's absolutely cooked it. 1:01:02.320 --> 1:01:05.720 I mean, either of you are selling this to me? Yeah, Laura, Like, 1:01:05.720 --> 1:01:06.960 if you want me to have a child and I've 1:01:07.000 --> 1:01:08.680 told you, I'll go back for another one, I'm gonna 1:01:08.720 --> 1:01:11.560 kidnap melodies in a second. Yeah, don't we Everyone's like 1:01:11.680 --> 1:01:13.920 it's the worst thing ever, but everyone goes back for more. 1:01:13.960 --> 1:01:16.520 Were siccos Well you forget it, But it's not just 1:01:16.600 --> 1:01:18.920 that you forget, it's the labor can be I mean, 1:01:19.000 --> 1:01:21.240 not everybody has a traumatic labor, but the labor is 1:01:21.440 --> 1:01:25.400 incredibly hard. But that feeling once you have a baby 1:01:25.480 --> 1:01:29.760 in your arms, there's no words for it's when you 1:01:29.840 --> 1:01:32.760 have me in your arms? Is that notcruit the same? 1:01:35.320 --> 1:01:36.480 Talk to me about that day. 1:01:36.520 --> 1:01:37.840 What was that as like for you? 1:01:38.360 --> 1:01:41.880 Well, yeah, so I labored at home for twelve hours 1:01:41.920 --> 1:01:44.040 and that was really just really bad period. 1:01:44.120 --> 1:01:45.600 Painted It honestly wasn't that bad. 1:01:45.880 --> 1:01:47.400 And I was just bouncing on the ball at home 1:01:47.480 --> 1:01:50.200 and my house is like all my friends are always 1:01:50.240 --> 1:01:52.360 around and I just love it like that. So it 1:01:52.480 --> 1:01:55.200 was kind of like people my friends were coming and going, 1:01:55.360 --> 1:01:56.360 like like I'm in labor. 1:01:56.440 --> 1:01:59.120 Yeah, literally, and they were just hanging around. I was 1:01:59.160 --> 1:01:59.720 in the pool. 1:02:00.000 --> 1:02:02.200 I was like, yeah, we were just moving around like 1:02:02.560 --> 1:02:04.280 I was trying to stay hydrated, and we were just 1:02:04.400 --> 1:02:06.120 kind of laughing at the fact that I was in labor, 1:02:06.200 --> 1:02:07.520 like sometimes I was really. 1:02:07.520 --> 1:02:09.800 Pain, Like hey, got now, it's not funny. Yeah. 1:02:10.160 --> 1:02:12.040 And then it got to a point in the early 1:02:12.120 --> 1:02:14.000 AVA where I was like, guys, this is getting fucking 1:02:14.080 --> 1:02:16.920 serious now, like I'm not laughing you guys are out 1:02:16.960 --> 1:02:17.200 of here. 1:02:17.440 --> 1:02:19.760 Mum, Let's go to the hospital, Like yeah, so you 1:02:19.840 --> 1:02:22.720 got serious. Went to the hospital and she was posteria, 1:02:22.800 --> 1:02:25.280 going postia, did you have yes, my first one was posteria. 1:02:25.440 --> 1:02:26.960 Awful, poor thing. 1:02:27.120 --> 1:02:29.280 So I just had this thing like I'm so tough, 1:02:29.400 --> 1:02:31.680 I don't want drugs, like I'm doing this naturally. 1:02:31.760 --> 1:02:34.760 And I did do it all naturally. But I would 1:02:34.960 --> 1:02:38.160 never not recommend having a posterior baby naturally because. 1:02:37.920 --> 1:02:40.240 You're like someone doped me up right now, you know. 1:02:40.600 --> 1:02:42.560 Even my midwife said to me, and like they're all 1:02:42.640 --> 1:02:44.440 like midwives always like you to do a natural, but 1:02:44.480 --> 1:02:46.840 they never really want to push an epidural. No. And 1:02:46.920 --> 1:02:49.840 when I had my first one posterior and I was 1:02:49.880 --> 1:02:52.600 in so much pain. She was like, nobody ever has 1:02:52.680 --> 1:02:55.160 them naturally when they're posterior. Just get the drugs. 1:02:55.160 --> 1:02:57.680 And I was like, here, we're fucking seriously. 1:02:57.840 --> 1:02:59.880 Yeah, so you are a wonder woman because it is 1:03:00.200 --> 1:03:02.479 an incredible amount of pain having a posterio baby. 1:03:02.520 --> 1:03:05.280 Oh my god, the spine pain and the leg pain 1:03:05.400 --> 1:03:06.960 like it. Honestly, I didn't feel like any of the 1:03:07.000 --> 1:03:10.440 contractions anymore because of the nerve pain. It was, oh 1:03:10.520 --> 1:03:13.600 my god, thinking back to that, just like I'm hurting. 1:03:13.480 --> 1:03:15.680 I'm petrified, I have my eyes. 1:03:15.720 --> 1:03:17.760 If anyone seens like I'm wide open, I like. 1:03:17.960 --> 1:03:20.920 Just have her out the sun roof neck like just sex. 1:03:21.600 --> 1:03:22.400 Like just went that. 1:03:24.800 --> 1:03:27.600 And So the name Minni was that something that you 1:03:27.680 --> 1:03:30.480 guys had discussed, Like had you decided on names before 1:03:30.600 --> 1:03:32.560 this all happened, or was that something we came up 1:03:32.560 --> 1:03:33.320 with for some reason. 1:03:33.600 --> 1:03:36.120 Well, we had a list of names, like as so 1:03:36.200 --> 1:03:38.160 many couples do, but we were really serious about our 1:03:38.200 --> 1:03:38.880 list because. 1:03:38.680 --> 1:03:41.080 We were trying for a baby. But no, Minnie actually 1:03:41.160 --> 1:03:41.840 wasn't on our list. 1:03:41.920 --> 1:03:44.760 But I've always loved the name Mini, and it just 1:03:45.200 --> 1:03:47.840 felt so right because she's like Minnie, him like Minnie 1:03:47.880 --> 1:03:49.360 Alex Pulling is her full name. 1:03:49.520 --> 1:03:52.280 So oh god, I hadn't thought liked you, you know, 1:03:52.360 --> 1:03:53.080 I thought about that. 1:03:54.920 --> 1:03:56.600 I doesn't want to cry again. I don't know why 1:03:56.600 --> 1:03:57.560 I didn't think about. 1:03:57.320 --> 1:03:59.640 It like that. Someone literally came up to me, like 1:03:59.720 --> 1:04:01.720 someone the other day was like to me, oh my gosh, 1:04:01.800 --> 1:04:04.160 did you realize, like her name's Minni and then his 1:04:04.400 --> 1:04:06.400 name's on the back of it, so it's like she's 1:04:06.960 --> 1:04:09.480 a mini hymn. And I was like, yeah, you fuck? 1:04:10.400 --> 1:04:10.600 Thanks? 1:04:11.200 --> 1:04:13.680 Are you having alarm? I was like, nah, I didn't 1:04:13.720 --> 1:04:14.280 think about that. 1:04:15.560 --> 1:04:17.320 I guess when I look at the name and heard it, 1:04:17.480 --> 1:04:19.440 I didn't put it all together. I was just like 1:04:19.480 --> 1:04:21.360 Minnie cause my friend's name. Kids names Minni, And I 1:04:21.400 --> 1:04:22.760 was like, oh, that's such a cut name. I didn't 1:04:22.760 --> 1:04:25.240 think of it as it it's a mini Pulland no, 1:04:25.400 --> 1:04:27.960 I didn't think of it like that. Earliant. Now I'm 1:04:28.160 --> 1:04:31.000 so dumb, but like, well done, you're a genius. 1:04:31.120 --> 1:04:32.880 But I mean, you don't need to be thinking about 1:04:32.920 --> 1:04:34.560 my kid's name that, of course. 1:04:34.640 --> 1:04:36.960 But of course I am thinking about all the you 1:04:37.040 --> 1:04:38.720 know how you think about like the nicknames it could 1:04:38.760 --> 1:04:40.880 get called later, and like I was thinking about the 1:04:40.960 --> 1:04:43.480 name a lot obviously, so that was the point of 1:04:43.560 --> 1:04:46.320 the name. But he loved the name Ava for a girl, 1:04:46.640 --> 1:04:48.160 so that was my other name that I had, and 1:04:48.200 --> 1:04:50.440 I was thinking Ava alex pulland for a girl. 1:04:50.720 --> 1:04:53.800 With this whole like, I mean, your life has just 1:04:54.000 --> 1:04:56.120 changed so much in the space of a year and 1:04:56.160 --> 1:04:59.960 a half. What has it been like bringing a baby 1:05:00.160 --> 1:05:02.480 into the world as pretty much a single mom and 1:05:02.640 --> 1:05:04.320 not doing it in the traditional way. When we think 1:05:04.320 --> 1:05:06.840 of single moms, I think we usually think of relationship breakdowns. 1:05:07.120 --> 1:05:09.000 We don't normally think of being a single mom. But 1:05:09.120 --> 1:05:12.000 being a widow, especially not this young as well, you know, 1:05:12.160 --> 1:05:13.520 I think that when we think of widow as, we 1:05:13.640 --> 1:05:17.320 usually think of our parents' age, losing their partners. What 1:05:17.440 --> 1:05:19.720 has this experience been a mum, but being a single 1:05:19.760 --> 1:05:21.400 woman doing it in your own really been. 1:05:21.400 --> 1:05:24.160 Like few It's just been such a whirlwind. 1:05:24.200 --> 1:05:26.240 I think every first time mum would say that, even 1:05:26.280 --> 1:05:28.480 if they're in a partnership, like a relationship or not. 1:05:28.880 --> 1:05:32.360 I mean, look, I've missed him more than ever lately, 1:05:32.480 --> 1:05:36.000 and I think having many coming down to Sydney when 1:05:36.040 --> 1:05:37.560 she was so young, doing that on my own, well, 1:05:37.560 --> 1:05:39.280 actually I flew up a friend to drive down with me. 1:05:39.360 --> 1:05:40.360 Thank goodness. She's amazing. 1:05:40.880 --> 1:05:43.160 But yeah, just all the little things, like, you know, 1:05:43.280 --> 1:05:45.640 she started to smile, she's starting to make heaps of noises, 1:05:46.080 --> 1:05:48.400 She's getting chubbier and cuter, and I've got all these 1:05:48.440 --> 1:05:51.840 little nicknames for her, and all the little steps and 1:05:52.120 --> 1:05:55.400 Christmas and news and events like that. Are always just 1:05:55.480 --> 1:05:58.800 the hardest when you're grieving someone because you're just missing 1:05:58.840 --> 1:06:00.560 them and they should be there for those times and 1:06:00.600 --> 1:06:00.880 they're not. 1:06:01.200 --> 1:06:03.200 And this is like the funnest time of the year. 1:06:03.240 --> 1:06:05.520 He's usually home for the Christmas period and we're usually 1:06:05.640 --> 1:06:09.200 just having the best summer. So lately I've been really 1:06:09.440 --> 1:06:13.320 kind of struggling without him here, and it just happens 1:06:13.360 --> 1:06:15.720 that Minnie's been born as well, and there's a lot 1:06:15.760 --> 1:06:18.000 of times where Minnie's having a witching hour and I'm 1:06:18.000 --> 1:06:21.400 trying to settle her, and I'm so tired and I'm cranky, 1:06:21.560 --> 1:06:23.840 and I'm like, fuck, I just I wish he was 1:06:23.920 --> 1:06:26.800 like here, so he could, you know, help settle her 1:06:26.800 --> 1:06:28.880 and I could have a minute away. But thank god, 1:06:28.920 --> 1:06:32.040 I've got amazing support, so I often am not alone 1:06:32.040 --> 1:06:34.560 and I am getting heaps of help. But yeah, it 1:06:34.680 --> 1:06:38.360 definitely like lately, like how am I I'm missing him 1:06:38.400 --> 1:06:40.800 more than ever right now, Like this has definitely been 1:06:40.840 --> 1:06:44.120 the hardest few months, just a bit like fuck, I 1:06:44.440 --> 1:06:49.120 wish you were here, But also, weirdly, the best time 1:06:49.200 --> 1:06:51.320 of my life has also been since Minnie's been born, 1:06:51.400 --> 1:06:53.240 because everyone would say that, like. 1:06:53.320 --> 1:06:54.240 I feel like I live too. 1:06:54.640 --> 1:06:57.360 I don't know, I've got so much going on that 1:06:57.640 --> 1:07:00.640 like this is so fucking hard, and this is also 1:07:00.680 --> 1:07:02.600 the best time in my life. And they're just these 1:07:02.680 --> 1:07:05.040 two massive emotions are just co existing and it's just 1:07:05.160 --> 1:07:05.640 up and down. 1:07:05.720 --> 1:07:09.400 But that's the thing. Feelings, all feelings, but grief and happiness. 1:07:09.640 --> 1:07:12.640 They're not interchangeable. It doesn't have to be one or 1:07:12.680 --> 1:07:14.840 the other. Like you said, you can have in one day, 1:07:15.200 --> 1:07:18.400 you could be howling like you are, and then at 1:07:18.400 --> 1:07:20.880 the same time exactly, I don't have to be. It 1:07:20.920 --> 1:07:21.920 doesn't have to be one or the other. 1:07:22.440 --> 1:07:22.880 Exactly. 1:07:23.160 --> 1:07:25.200 I feel like even in that moment of like having 1:07:25.240 --> 1:07:28.160 a baby, the pure happiness of having many in the world, 1:07:28.320 --> 1:07:31.800 but then probably alongside the sadness that Chumpy wasn't there 1:07:31.840 --> 1:07:32.920 to experience. 1:07:32.520 --> 1:07:33.680 It with you, exactly. 1:07:33.880 --> 1:07:37.160 Pulling her out was the best I straightaway saw Chumpy's 1:07:37.240 --> 1:07:39.720 eyes in her and I was like, I have a baby, 1:07:39.800 --> 1:07:43.280 well like euphoric as we spoke about before, but also 1:07:43.400 --> 1:07:45.200 seeing it was I felt like I saw him in 1:07:45.240 --> 1:07:48.120 her eyes straight away. So it was just like simultaneously 1:07:48.320 --> 1:07:52.080 the best and saddest moment in the happiest, Like the 1:07:52.120 --> 1:07:54.320 happiness is always going to trump the sadness for me 1:07:54.520 --> 1:07:54.880 for sure. 1:07:55.120 --> 1:07:57.120 And also like on top of that, you're throwing in 1:07:57.640 --> 1:08:00.360 without any trauma or tragedy, You're throwing in just like 1:08:00.600 --> 1:08:04.200 hectic hormones that your body is experiencing anyway, Totally, Yeah, 1:08:04.280 --> 1:08:06.680 you are just a superwoman. And I know you say 1:08:07.680 --> 1:08:09.680 that when people say this to you that you're like, 1:08:09.800 --> 1:08:12.000 I'm not a hero, I'm not brave, I'm not doing anything. 1:08:12.040 --> 1:08:15.520 But you are probably not giving yourself enough credit for 1:08:16.280 --> 1:08:18.360 how you have handled this situation and what you've achieved 1:08:18.400 --> 1:08:20.360 and what you are achieving even coming here today to 1:08:20.479 --> 1:08:23.160 relive this with us. Like you just said, you're not 1:08:23.280 --> 1:08:25.360 in the best place right now, even though you're happy. 1:08:25.520 --> 1:08:27.800 You're having moments of sadness, and you're going through a 1:08:27.800 --> 1:08:29.320 lot of things in your life, but you've still come here, 1:08:29.640 --> 1:08:31.840 You've still turned up. Mini is sleeping in the back 1:08:31.960 --> 1:08:36.960 room with my dog with pretty Sekisha alone. She's not 1:08:37.040 --> 1:08:38.880 just just leave me in the room next door with 1:08:38.960 --> 1:08:41.200 the dog. But you're not giving yourself enough credit. But 1:08:41.439 --> 1:08:43.479 would you go again? Would you think you'll have more 1:08:43.760 --> 1:08:45.559 little Mini Chumpy Chumpies? 1:08:45.960 --> 1:08:48.640 I mean, at the moment, I'm thinking, I'm just so 1:08:48.880 --> 1:08:51.519 stoked with just one, and she's perfect, and I just 1:08:51.560 --> 1:08:54.400 feel so lucky to have her and I am alone, 1:08:54.400 --> 1:08:56.800 and I just think having her little companion like just 1:08:57.200 --> 1:09:00.320 is so perfect. So I'm not thinking at the moment 1:09:00.360 --> 1:09:02.479 that I could have more. But yeah, never say never, 1:09:02.560 --> 1:09:04.719 because I do have the sperm there, I've got more eggs. 1:09:04.960 --> 1:09:06.559 I really could have more Chumpies. 1:09:07.040 --> 1:09:09.120 Is there any limitations on how long in the future 1:09:09.240 --> 1:09:11.720 you can use the sperm or is that something that's like. 1:09:11.880 --> 1:09:14.720 They're on ice, they're on nice, but forever I could 1:09:15.040 --> 1:09:15.720 ten years time. 1:09:16.000 --> 1:09:18.519 What has your relationship been like And obviously you have 1:09:18.600 --> 1:09:22.040 such a strong relationship with Chumpi's family, but since having Mini, 1:09:22.400 --> 1:09:24.759 how are they able to be involved in her life? 1:09:25.200 --> 1:09:27.200 If I didn't have Mini, I would always be super 1:09:27.240 --> 1:09:30.320 close with Chump's family. They're absolutely legends and we're just 1:09:30.479 --> 1:09:33.160 really close, like Chump and his family are thick as thieves. 1:09:33.200 --> 1:09:36.360 They are so tight. They've got the most beautiful. 1:09:35.880 --> 1:09:39.840 Family and relationship and no matter what, Like yeah, as 1:09:39.880 --> 1:09:41.760 I said, if I didn't have Minni, I'd always be 1:09:41.880 --> 1:09:43.920 super tight with them. They live down the coast, so 1:09:43.920 --> 1:09:45.439 it was always like a road trip down to them, 1:09:45.439 --> 1:09:48.160 and then we get that quality time together. So it 1:09:48.200 --> 1:09:50.200 wouldn't be that I'd see them every day. So they 1:09:50.240 --> 1:09:52.080 probably won't get to see like Mini every day because 1:09:52.080 --> 1:09:54.080 we live so far away, but we talk all the 1:09:54.280 --> 1:09:55.920 time on the phone. We're up and down the coast 1:09:55.960 --> 1:09:58.840 whenever we can be hanging out. I feel like for them, 1:09:59.240 --> 1:10:02.240 Minnie's just you know, they have lost their son, like 1:10:02.360 --> 1:10:05.920 it's the worst thing ever, and they're so completely broken, 1:10:06.000 --> 1:10:08.400 and yeah, you look into their eyes and you can 1:10:08.479 --> 1:10:12.480 just feel the void and the sadness, like it's absolutely 1:10:12.479 --> 1:10:14.880 it's heavy. And Chump's got a beautiful sister too, and 1:10:14.960 --> 1:10:17.560 they are so close and they're so similar in so 1:10:17.640 --> 1:10:18.599 many ways and so different. 1:10:18.640 --> 1:10:20.240 When I'm with them, i feel like I'm with Chump 1:10:20.320 --> 1:10:22.120 in a way. They're so beautiful. 1:10:22.160 --> 1:10:24.680 I think that having Mini for them just gives them, 1:10:24.800 --> 1:10:27.479 like you know, of course they have a purpose, but 1:10:27.640 --> 1:10:30.280 it gives them a reason to look to the future 1:10:30.280 --> 1:10:32.920 and to smile and to It's just given them a 1:10:33.000 --> 1:10:35.479 whole new well, it's given us all and like my 1:10:35.600 --> 1:10:38.040 family too, just a whole new I don't know life. 1:10:38.160 --> 1:10:40.280 Yeah, lace of life and happiness. 1:10:40.320 --> 1:10:42.880 But it's also like a living piece of memory as well. 1:10:42.880 --> 1:10:44.560 I don't know that that's almost a weird way of 1:10:44.600 --> 1:10:46.720 putting it, but like, unless you've been through it, I 1:10:46.800 --> 1:10:49.200 cannot imagine what it would be like to lose a 1:10:49.320 --> 1:10:52.040 child at any age, you know, and that's just not 1:10:52.120 --> 1:10:56.280 how it's supposed to be, having their child, to be 1:10:56.360 --> 1:10:58.479 able to pour your love into and like what you 1:10:58.560 --> 1:11:02.240 said earlier about the whole grief being this love that 1:11:02.320 --> 1:11:05.240 has nowhere to go, like Mini has created that and 1:11:05.320 --> 1:11:08.360 provided that for your family as well, and it's just incredible. 1:11:08.560 --> 1:11:10.040 She's going to be the most spoilt love. 1:11:10.840 --> 1:11:12.479 It's incredibly a little spoilt brat. 1:11:13.080 --> 1:11:15.400 One thing I wanted to ask you in regards to 1:11:15.479 --> 1:11:17.240 like social media, which might be a bit of a 1:11:17.280 --> 1:11:20.360 weird turn, but you have been really open with your journey. 1:11:20.360 --> 1:11:22.599 You've spoken about it on Darlingshaw and your podcast, You've 1:11:22.600 --> 1:11:25.879 spoken about it on social media, have you ever received 1:11:26.080 --> 1:11:30.439 any negativity around the science behind how it all kind 1:11:30.439 --> 1:11:32.640 of came about? As in, like, has there ever been 1:11:32.680 --> 1:11:35.800 anyone that's like, you know that there's a moral conversation 1:11:36.000 --> 1:11:39.320 around extracting sperm? And like where is the Yeah, like 1:11:39.400 --> 1:11:41.560 what's the line where who gets to decide whether that 1:11:41.720 --> 1:11:44.960 is alway isn't okay? Well, I think, like I'll get 1:11:45.000 --> 1:11:46.560 to that, And I mean I think ultimately it's like 1:11:47.000 --> 1:11:49.639 mine and Trump's family's decision for sure, and the people 1:11:49.680 --> 1:11:52.160 that know him in our relationship, this is exactly what 1:11:52.280 --> 1:11:54.479 he would want and we just don't have a doubt 1:11:54.520 --> 1:11:56.960 in our mind about that. But yeah, like morally, so 1:11:57.439 --> 1:12:00.920 I think on Instagram, I don't get any I don't 1:12:00.920 --> 1:12:03.400 cop any of that moral stuff from anyone. 1:12:03.680 --> 1:12:05.960 But on Facebook. And I don't even go on Facebook. 1:12:06.080 --> 1:12:08.360 I'm such an Instagram person. I never go on Facebook. 1:12:08.400 --> 1:12:09.000 But apparently on. 1:12:09.000 --> 1:12:12.200 Facebook, whenever there's articles about me on there, apparently there's heaps. 1:12:12.200 --> 1:12:14.080 And I don't know if it's a generational thing because 1:12:14.520 --> 1:12:17.360 actually I don't really know, but I think maybe more 1:12:17.800 --> 1:12:20.920 the older generation hit up Facebook a bit more, and 1:12:21.560 --> 1:12:24.400 maybe they're not okay with it. Maybe they're more traditional 1:12:25.000 --> 1:12:27.840 and there's heaps of I think there's heaps of hate 1:12:27.920 --> 1:12:28.240 on there. 1:12:28.520 --> 1:12:30.639 I think it also comes from a lack of understanding though, 1:12:30.680 --> 1:12:32.800 and like, yeah, generational, one hundred percent, it could be. 1:12:33.200 --> 1:12:35.559 But like you said, you know, you and your families 1:12:35.560 --> 1:12:37.800 are the only people who know the situation and can 1:12:37.880 --> 1:12:40.280 make that right decision. But I was always curious because 1:12:40.600 --> 1:12:43.040 I just feel like when you are so open about 1:12:43.040 --> 1:12:46.040 something that is completely vulnerable, we open ourselves up so 1:12:46.160 --> 1:12:49.000 people's opinions, and that can be a really like it 1:12:49.080 --> 1:12:51.280 can be a really challenging thing, especially when it's something 1:12:51.360 --> 1:12:53.960 that's so personal and so beautiful and so healing to 1:12:54.040 --> 1:12:57.080 where you are in your life to even allow anybody 1:12:57.400 --> 1:13:01.000 who's from outside your world to infiltrate that. But it 1:13:01.080 --> 1:13:03.160 goes for anything. It's not even like, guess, just your 1:13:03.320 --> 1:13:08.400 extraordinary situation. Any decision that any couple or any person 1:13:08.439 --> 1:13:11.360 who's making is their decision, it's their family. Like, but 1:13:11.439 --> 1:13:12.840 we live in a world where people feel like they're 1:13:12.920 --> 1:13:15.759 entitled to make an opinion on everything. They're keyboard warriors, 1:13:15.800 --> 1:13:19.439 and like really like fuck off. I mean, like all 1:13:19.479 --> 1:13:21.479 these people that think they can go on someone's page 1:13:21.560 --> 1:13:24.080 like yours and give their opinion can fuck off. 1:13:24.160 --> 1:13:26.800 Oh absolutely, I couldn't give two fucks what anyone thinks. Like, 1:13:27.000 --> 1:13:28.439 I know I've done the right thing, and I'm so 1:13:28.800 --> 1:13:31.519 stoked on what I've done. I literally does not bother 1:13:31.640 --> 1:13:33.920 me tiny bit. But what I was going to say 1:13:33.920 --> 1:13:35.719 back to that was when I was going to announce 1:13:35.800 --> 1:13:37.439 my pregnancy, I did have a bit of a thing 1:13:37.520 --> 1:13:40.080 in my head. Am I going to be completely transparent 1:13:40.120 --> 1:13:42.679 and tell everyone what's happened and spread awareness on sperm? 1:13:42.760 --> 1:13:43.640 Betraval Or? 1:13:43.760 --> 1:13:46.240 Part of me was thinking, should I just let everyone 1:13:46.600 --> 1:13:49.400 make up their own mind really and believe that we 1:13:49.560 --> 1:13:52.559 were doing IVF already and like, I don't know, maybe 1:13:52.600 --> 1:13:55.000 we already had the sperm and just not be open. 1:13:55.200 --> 1:13:56.960 But I knew that there'd be questions and I wouldn't 1:13:56.960 --> 1:13:59.360 be able to just like lie or like not tell 1:13:59.439 --> 1:14:01.840 the truth. But I did think about going down like 1:14:02.160 --> 1:14:04.679 like kind of be a bit ambiguous about how it happened. 1:14:05.200 --> 1:14:07.200 But also, like you said, I think when you've sat 1:14:07.280 --> 1:14:09.280 in that level of grief you've lost your partner, you 1:14:09.400 --> 1:14:13.080 also know how helpful that information could be to somebody 1:14:13.120 --> 1:14:15.840 else's life and what that would mean to another woman 1:14:15.880 --> 1:14:20.200 who's going through loss and also knowing the time restrictions 1:14:20.240 --> 1:14:22.360 and time restraints around it, because I'm sure that there 1:14:22.400 --> 1:14:25.120 will be people who have experienced this and didn't know 1:14:25.479 --> 1:14:27.880 it was an option and missed the chance to have 1:14:28.000 --> 1:14:30.080 the life that you have with the baby that you have. 1:14:30.400 --> 1:14:32.720 I get messages like that all the time, like, Wow, 1:14:32.920 --> 1:14:35.240 thank you for spreading awareness on this because I lost 1:14:35.280 --> 1:14:36.280 my partner a few years ago. 1:14:36.400 --> 1:14:37.800 I would have done this if I knew. 1:14:37.920 --> 1:14:40.720 You know, and hindsight is a bitch. Yeah, Like if 1:14:40.760 --> 1:14:42.400 you don't when you don't know, many people say that. 1:14:42.720 --> 1:14:46.840 For another question, regarding the sperm retreatment, you and Chumpy 1:14:46.880 --> 1:14:50.040 weren't married technically, but in every other sense you were 1:14:50.080 --> 1:14:52.800 obviously like husband and wife, Like yeah, you were that 1:14:52.960 --> 1:14:56.719 tight knit community. Yeah? For literally, like the legal process 1:14:57.520 --> 1:14:59.680 was it enough that you guys would de facto for 1:14:59.800 --> 1:15:03.000 you to decide that this was okay? Or did you 1:15:03.120 --> 1:15:06.320 still have to get official documents signed by his family? 1:15:06.400 --> 1:15:08.519 So if somebody was going through this right now, I've 1:15:08.560 --> 1:15:11.000 then lost their partner and they said yes, I want 1:15:11.040 --> 1:15:12.840 to do this, even if they've been with them ten years, 1:15:13.360 --> 1:15:16.240 does someone from his family still have to say, well, 1:15:16.280 --> 1:15:18.400 I'm okay with it? Like if they said no, would 1:15:18.439 --> 1:15:20.000 it have been able to be possible? 1:15:20.040 --> 1:15:23.479 Still, Well, I think because we were de facto and 1:15:23.640 --> 1:15:26.120 had like so many basically a billion other pieces of 1:15:26.160 --> 1:15:28.760 paper apart from marriage that mean that we're together, like 1:15:28.840 --> 1:15:31.320 you know, mortgages and banks and everything like that. It 1:15:31.400 --> 1:15:34.000 would have been fine. But just under the time constraints. 1:15:34.160 --> 1:15:37.679 Having his parents there to quickly do extra quick sign 1:15:37.760 --> 1:15:39.240 off to give an approval kind of thing. 1:15:39.960 --> 1:15:43.200 It definitely just gave us the go ahead. But it 1:15:43.280 --> 1:15:46.360 would have been okay, I believe because we were like 1:15:46.720 --> 1:15:49.400 married in every other sense and every other sense, and 1:15:49.520 --> 1:15:52.639 Mini's just having a little squawk in the well we're 1:15:52.720 --> 1:15:53.439 almost done. 1:15:53.560 --> 1:15:55.800 Well, Eli, I just want to know what is next 1:15:55.880 --> 1:15:58.080 for you? What's the next step for you and Minnie. 1:15:58.520 --> 1:16:02.080 M I just want to pour everything into Minni and 1:16:02.160 --> 1:16:04.320 our life and bringing her up and just give her 1:16:04.400 --> 1:16:06.080 the best life ever. 1:16:06.200 --> 1:16:09.760 By the beach. I don't really know what is next 1:16:09.800 --> 1:16:12.240 for us, actually, I just you. 1:16:12.240 --> 1:16:14.120 Don't have to decide now, like, oh my god, now, 1:16:14.160 --> 1:16:17.479 I mean maybe gets in sleep because they have newborn 1:16:17.560 --> 1:16:19.439 baby things. One day at a timeline. 1:16:19.840 --> 1:16:20.680 Yeah, that's the. 1:16:20.800 --> 1:16:23.200 Thing with grief and everything I've gone through, it's just 1:16:23.320 --> 1:16:25.160 literally one foot in front of the other. 1:16:25.280 --> 1:16:27.240 For me, I actually do struggle. 1:16:27.400 --> 1:16:29.919 Well, I think before I had Minni, I fully struggled 1:16:29.920 --> 1:16:31.560 to look into the future because it just scared me. 1:16:31.720 --> 1:16:33.559 But now I have Mini, I feel so strong about 1:16:33.560 --> 1:16:35.360 our future and I don't really care what else happens 1:16:35.400 --> 1:16:36.960 as long as I've got her and she's got me, 1:16:37.120 --> 1:16:40.560 and we're just gonna be happy and healthy together. 1:16:40.320 --> 1:16:43.639 With our dog. Well, you, guys, I'm sure every single 1:16:43.680 --> 1:16:45.280 one of you is going to want to know more 1:16:45.320 --> 1:16:48.559 about this incredible story and your life and Minnie's life, 1:16:48.640 --> 1:16:51.320 and you can listen to it on the podcast. You 1:16:51.400 --> 1:16:54.280 have a podcast called Darling Shine. Yes it is, and 1:16:54.320 --> 1:16:56.760 it has been dominating the podcast sharts. So if you're 1:16:56.760 --> 1:16:59.639 a podcast listener, you would have seen it where else? 1:17:00.000 --> 1:17:02.519 And people find you? What is your Instagram? Obviously don't 1:17:02.560 --> 1:17:04.880 use Facebook, but and not literally like don't give your 1:17:04.880 --> 1:17:09.439 house address, but where else can people? Oh my god, 1:17:09.520 --> 1:17:11.120 that was such a bad joke come and knock on 1:17:11.200 --> 1:17:13.320 my front door? She did say that the house is 1:17:13.360 --> 1:17:15.360 always open. Alerdi loves to drop by. 1:17:16.479 --> 1:17:21.000 My instagram is ledeald Y Underscore. I think, yeah, you 1:17:21.040 --> 1:17:22.160 can find me out Darling Shine. 1:17:22.280 --> 1:17:24.680 The podcast Choke my address up there too. 1:17:24.800 --> 1:17:27.519 Yeah, Alerdie, thank you so much, Thank you so much 1:17:27.560 --> 1:17:30.719 for coming today, for sitting in our house, in BRIT's 1:17:30.720 --> 1:17:33.840 house in the studio, for bringing Minni and letting me 1:17:33.920 --> 1:17:35.760 have a cuddle, but just for sharing your story and 1:17:36.040 --> 1:17:38.479 for walking us through so much of what you have 1:17:38.600 --> 1:17:40.840 experienced in your life. I know you say that it's 1:17:40.920 --> 1:17:43.120 not an incredible thing, or that you're not strong, but 1:17:43.560 --> 1:17:46.479 you did have a choice. You chose to continue to 1:17:46.560 --> 1:17:48.600 put one step in front of the other, and a 1:17:48.640 --> 1:17:50.560 lot of people in your situation wouldn't be able to 1:17:50.600 --> 1:17:53.600 do that. So I just yeah, so much respect and 1:17:53.600 --> 1:17:55.840 admiration for you. And before we go, you do have 1:17:56.280 --> 1:17:59.160 is there, correct me if I'm wrong? A documentary coming out? 1:17:59.520 --> 1:18:01.519 Oh yeah, a book or you've got like a bit 1:18:01.600 --> 1:18:04.400 going on. So a documentary did come out, came out. 1:18:04.800 --> 1:18:07.519 Channel seven produced it called Bubba Chump and you can 1:18:07.600 --> 1:18:08.639 watch that on YouTube. 1:18:08.960 --> 1:18:10.439 Amazing and lad that to the list. 1:18:11.240 --> 1:18:15.080 Yeah, my widow friend in the UK, Lottie, and we 1:18:15.360 --> 1:18:15.880 actually did. 1:18:16.040 --> 1:18:18.439 We started writing a book months ago, just like in 1:18:18.520 --> 1:18:20.160 the thick of our grief, like late at night, we 1:18:20.320 --> 1:18:22.840 just started writing shit down and basically we've got this 1:18:23.000 --> 1:18:27.160 e book out she lost Ben, her beautiful partner, about 1:18:27.240 --> 1:18:29.600 four months after Chump passed away, and we felt like 1:18:29.640 --> 1:18:32.360 everyone told us that there was like this pattern to 1:18:32.479 --> 1:18:34.760 how you grieve, like the six stages of grief, and 1:18:34.800 --> 1:18:38.600 you reach this acceptance phase and everything's fine. But we 1:18:39.160 --> 1:18:41.519 definitely don't believe that grief is linear. There's no rule 1:18:41.520 --> 1:18:43.800 book to grief. They say that you feel like all 1:18:43.880 --> 1:18:46.000 these emotions in order, and then you like tick them 1:18:46.040 --> 1:18:48.360 off the list and you keep going. And I feel 1:18:48.400 --> 1:18:50.960 like I feel all of the emotions in any given minute, 1:18:51.040 --> 1:18:53.720 in any given day, like all the time. They come 1:18:53.800 --> 1:18:55.479 back to bite me when I think they're done. And 1:18:56.080 --> 1:18:58.719 there's definitely no rule book to grief, and it's literally 1:18:58.840 --> 1:19:02.599 just about survival, like just surviving the first few months. 1:19:02.640 --> 1:19:06.080 So when Chump first passed away, I wish that I 1:19:06.320 --> 1:19:09.040 had a resource like this, So we decided to create one, 1:19:09.320 --> 1:19:12.920 and it's called now What and you can click I 1:19:12.960 --> 1:19:15.320 guess like the link in my bio. I think the 1:19:15.360 --> 1:19:17.599 website's called now What grief dot com. 1:19:17.840 --> 1:19:18.559 We'll pop it in the. 1:19:18.560 --> 1:19:22.559 Show notes as well. Crying in the room, we better 1:19:22.600 --> 1:19:24.599 go and grab it. Thank you so much for coming 1:19:24.640 --> 1:19:26.439 and being a part of the pod. We've loved having you. 1:19:26.720 --> 1:19:29.080 Thank you so much, girls, it's been so good. 1:19:30.000 --> 1:19:32.080 You know that we never finished an episode without our 1:19:32.240 --> 1:19:35.120 suck and our sweet, our highlight and our low light 1:19:35.240 --> 1:19:38.240 of each and every week. Brittany, what is your suck? 1:19:39.280 --> 1:19:44.960 My suck is the Lilah, my cute little puppy dog. 1:19:45.320 --> 1:19:47.120 Also like, I like that you're just gonna talk about 1:19:47.120 --> 1:19:49.400 your dog in a suck, But haven't actually really talked 1:19:49.400 --> 1:19:51.280 about the fact that you got a dog yet? Have 1:19:51.439 --> 1:19:54.599 we not not really got a dog? It's like being 1:19:54.680 --> 1:19:56.920 this kind of sordid secret. Look, I got a dog 1:19:56.960 --> 1:19:58.519 a little while ago, a couple of months ago, but 1:19:58.680 --> 1:20:01.200 she was living over at Ordan's house most of the 1:20:01.280 --> 1:20:03.160 time because I couldn't have her in my house. She 1:20:03.280 --> 1:20:05.760 just used to come for visits and they looked after 1:20:05.840 --> 1:20:08.720 her and Produce Akisha would also kidnap her and juice a. 1:20:08.760 --> 1:20:10.840 Keisha takes her a lot. It's taken us a little 1:20:10.880 --> 1:20:13.200 while to kind of explain to Produce Akisha that she's 1:20:13.240 --> 1:20:14.240 not the mom of Delilah. 1:20:16.400 --> 1:20:18.120 I think this first, I'm hearing. 1:20:18.520 --> 1:20:22.439 Excuse me, we have a contract. I'm her secondary care giver. Actually, 1:20:22.960 --> 1:20:24.559 that's the contract in Keisha's head. 1:20:24.720 --> 1:20:27.439 But yes, I only post a photo of Delilah and 1:20:27.439 --> 1:20:29.679 everyone's like, why are you taking photos of Keisha's dog. 1:20:30.280 --> 1:20:32.000 No, she's been around for a while, but like, I 1:20:32.240 --> 1:20:34.880 just feel like we just had a few private months 1:20:34.920 --> 1:20:36.840 bonding together. I didn't want to launch her on you know. 1:20:36.880 --> 1:20:38.600 I was really protective. You know how some parents are like, 1:20:38.640 --> 1:20:40.080 I don't want to put the kids on the internet. 1:20:40.120 --> 1:20:42.200 I was like, just really protective. You're like posting photos 1:20:42.200 --> 1:20:44.519 of Dalila with like a face, like an emoji open 1:20:44.600 --> 1:20:47.160 her face so that no one knows her identity. Anyway, 1:20:47.160 --> 1:20:49.360 I've hard launched Delilah. I've hard launched. But the reason 1:20:49.439 --> 1:20:51.000 she's my suck this week, she's my suck and my 1:20:51.040 --> 1:20:52.880 sweet But the reason she's my suck is because she 1:20:53.880 --> 1:20:56.599 annihilated my plants. And you guys know that, like, plants 1:20:56.640 --> 1:20:58.400 are my pride and joy in my house is like 1:20:58.439 --> 1:21:00.639 a jungle. I wake up in the morning and she's 1:21:00.720 --> 1:21:03.000 just gone to town on them. So Britt's house now 1:21:03.080 --> 1:21:05.240 looks like Maddie Jay's house. When he tries to take 1:21:05.280 --> 1:21:07.800 care of plants, they're all they're all destroyed. And it 1:21:07.880 --> 1:21:10.040 makes me feel good because my house is thriving at 1:21:10.040 --> 1:21:11.880 the moment, and like this one. I have this one 1:21:12.000 --> 1:21:15.040 beautiful big palm, like beautiful, did not look like it 1:21:15.040 --> 1:21:17.000 should have been in a house, but for some reason, 1:21:17.040 --> 1:21:18.479 it was the happiest plan I've ever had, and she 1:21:18.600 --> 1:21:20.000 just went to town on it. So I've had to 1:21:20.080 --> 1:21:22.920 like pull them all back. She's looking a bit dead now, 1:21:23.040 --> 1:21:26.000 but I have hope. I think BRIT's like underselling this. 1:21:26.160 --> 1:21:28.240 This was like a five hundred dollars bird of paradise 1:21:28.360 --> 1:21:31.200 plant that was bigger than me. And she's maw has 1:21:31.280 --> 1:21:34.120 one leaf. It's so sad anyway, and one of the 1:21:34.479 --> 1:21:35.880 one leaves half eaten, and I'm just trying to like 1:21:35.920 --> 1:21:37.719 bring it back. So that's my stack. But my sweet 1:21:37.800 --> 1:21:40.000 is obviously just I'm obsessed with Delilah. So she's the 1:21:40.040 --> 1:21:42.080 best thing, and she's my best little friend. And it's 1:21:42.120 --> 1:21:44.080 so nice. I live alone, so it's so nice to 1:21:44.120 --> 1:21:46.880 have some company. Dogs. They're hard work. I feel like 1:21:46.920 --> 1:21:48.920 it's a kid like having that puppy again. I forgot 1:21:49.000 --> 1:21:51.000 what it was like, just the constantly having to be 1:21:51.160 --> 1:21:54.040 there and take it outside and do everything, keep it alive, 1:21:54.240 --> 1:21:57.040 keep it alive, and like to go not leave it alone. 1:21:57.120 --> 1:21:59.600 All this sort of stuff. But yeah, so I'm just 1:21:59.600 --> 1:22:01.880 happy she's my sweet. Now she's wake up and she's there. 1:22:02.000 --> 1:22:03.599 She's got the cutest face I've ever seen the world. 1:22:03.840 --> 1:22:06.599 But that's it. What's yours? Okay? My suck for the week? 1:22:06.720 --> 1:22:09.719 I mean it's pretty obvious. I think moving house, unpacking. Actually, 1:22:09.720 --> 1:22:11.639 do you know what it wasn't me you head into 1:22:11.640 --> 1:22:15.840 the cement wall. I'm gonna make it very specific. Unpacking. 1:22:15.960 --> 1:22:18.400 My bathroom box was my suck with the week because 1:22:18.479 --> 1:22:20.439 so many of my toiletries I hadn't put the lid 1:22:20.479 --> 1:22:23.080 on properly and they were all leaked throughout the one box, 1:22:23.120 --> 1:22:25.160 which everyone knows. It's like, that's the shittiest thing when 1:22:25.160 --> 1:22:28.200 you travel or you pack or anything. Finding like an 1:22:28.360 --> 1:22:30.960 entire thing of moisturizing cream that's just emptied out onto 1:22:31.000 --> 1:22:33.600 the rest of your makeup shit. Was myself. It's the 1:22:33.640 --> 1:22:35.240 worst one. It's in your suitcase, like when you've done 1:22:35.240 --> 1:22:37.200 an international flight. Do you know what's even worse when 1:22:37.240 --> 1:22:39.040 you mix all your clothes and your makeup shit and 1:22:39.080 --> 1:22:41.000 everything in the same box and it's all over all 1:22:41.080 --> 1:22:44.439 your podcast equipment. Yeah, literally, there it is moisturizing cream. 1:22:45.000 --> 1:22:47.679 My sweet for the week is Okay, now I feel 1:22:47.720 --> 1:22:50.120 stupid because mine was also plant related, but I'm so 1:22:50.479 --> 1:22:54.160 who are we thirty year old women. I'm so excited 1:22:54.360 --> 1:22:57.519 that we have a backyard that, like my plants, are 1:22:57.600 --> 1:23:01.439 now thriving. I have rehabilitated a fit. Anybody who's been following, 1:23:01.439 --> 1:23:03.240 I mean, they've rather have been here three days. Okay. 1:23:03.360 --> 1:23:05.439 When we walked into this house, Guys, there was a 1:23:05.479 --> 1:23:08.519 fiddle fig that was inside this house. And the house 1:23:08.560 --> 1:23:10.320 has been obviously locked up for a couple of weeks, 1:23:10.400 --> 1:23:13.599 and it was in dire straits, and I have already 1:23:13.680 --> 1:23:15.679 brought it back to life in three days. It's looking great. 1:23:15.760 --> 1:23:18.519 So lived that fiddlefig came with the house. That fiddlefig 1:23:18.600 --> 1:23:20.240 came with the house. I would have moved here for 1:23:20.320 --> 1:23:22.040 that plan, do you know why? Because it was so 1:23:22.400 --> 1:23:24.439 fucked when we arrived, and now look at it. I'm 1:23:24.439 --> 1:23:27.640 glad that all you were to name it Jesus. It 1:23:27.680 --> 1:23:31.880 took three days to resurrect, and that's it. I'm just 1:23:32.080 --> 1:23:34.519 so happy that we're finally in a bigger place. I'd 1:23:34.560 --> 1:23:36.600 been putting it off for so long because, like I 1:23:36.640 --> 1:23:38.599 said on last week's episode, I'm just such a creature 1:23:38.640 --> 1:23:41.720 of habit I hate I don't like moving. I don't 1:23:41.800 --> 1:23:43.760 like new things. I like to go to my same 1:23:43.800 --> 1:23:45.640 coffee shop. I like to do the same thing. I 1:23:45.760 --> 1:23:47.400 like to eat the same thing for breakfast every day. 1:23:47.640 --> 1:23:50.880 Laura's gone to a whole new suburb. I'm far from 1:23:50.960 --> 1:23:53.280 Bondai people. Actually I'm not in three kilometers, but anyway, 1:23:53.520 --> 1:23:55.400 it feels very different. But I'm loving it. I'm so 1:23:55.479 --> 1:23:56.920 happy that we're in a bigger space and we have 1:23:57.000 --> 1:23:59.879 a yard. It's just like it's changed my whole outlook. 1:24:00.000 --> 1:24:02.120 I'm very, very happy. And that is it from us. 1:24:02.280 --> 1:24:02.559 Guys. 1:24:02.840 --> 1:24:05.679 If you want to write in your questions for ask 1:24:05.800 --> 1:24:08.160 on Cut, send them into the Instagram Life on Cut podcast. 1:24:08.280 --> 1:24:09.519 Just put ask on Cut at the top. We want 1:24:09.560 --> 1:24:12.040 your accidental unfiltered we want your confessionals, you want any 1:24:12.360 --> 1:24:14.680 funny shit that has happened to you. All go into 1:24:14.720 --> 1:24:17.439 the dms. If you're not part of the Facebook group either, 1:24:17.560 --> 1:24:20.840 it is a Life on Cut discussion group on Facebook, 1:24:20.920 --> 1:24:23.479 so where you're at, that's where all the juice goes down. 1:24:23.600 --> 1:24:26.400 And also, Maths is starting this week and I'm pretty 1:24:26.520 --> 1:24:28.680 fucking excited about it. Just going to say that we 1:24:28.760 --> 1:24:31.160 will be having some discussions about maths in the Facebook 1:24:31.160 --> 1:24:32.639 group if you want to jump in there as well. 1:24:32.880 --> 1:24:35.479 We have a friend on there, don't we. Oh, we'll 1:24:35.479 --> 1:24:37.640 tell you about that next week though. Anyway, guys, that 1:24:37.760 --> 1:24:40.160 is it from us. If you've loved the episode, which 1:24:40.200 --> 1:24:42.800 we really hope that you did, Interviewing Ality was just 1:24:42.880 --> 1:24:45.200 such it was just such a joy. She's a wonderful woman, 1:24:45.280 --> 1:24:47.560 please jump on Apple podcast, leave her of you. You 1:24:47.600 --> 1:24:49.800 can leave her review on Spotify as well, and you 1:24:49.960 --> 1:24:52.519 know the drill, so your mum Te Dante Dante friends 1:24:52.560 --> 1:25:11.360 and share the love because we the baa baa baa