WEBVTT - That Friend Who Doesn't Want To Spend 💸 But Drops it Constantly?! 👛

0:00:01.560 --> 0:00:04.480
<v Speaker 1>Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex

0:00:04.519 --> 0:00:06.000
<v Speaker 1>and Frooms catch Up podcast.

0:00:06.519 --> 0:00:10.840
<v Speaker 2>Overheard at dinner. One thing about Flexiana. I'm gonna be

0:00:10.920 --> 0:00:13.920
<v Speaker 2>evesdropping on the table next to me at dinner in

0:00:13.960 --> 0:00:17.360
<v Speaker 2>the same way. I'm for sure aware that they're eavesdropping

0:00:17.800 --> 0:00:21.919
<v Speaker 2>on me because I speak like I'm at home at

0:00:22.000 --> 0:00:26.400
<v Speaker 2>all times dropping names. I'm not doxing to the extent

0:00:26.440 --> 0:00:29.720
<v Speaker 2>that Freumiana might, but I never do. But on the

0:00:29.760 --> 0:00:31.200
<v Speaker 2>Flex and Froom show, you know how we are.

0:00:31.280 --> 0:00:33.360
<v Speaker 1>Listen. I was at dinner the other.

0:00:33.240 --> 0:00:36.560
<v Speaker 2>Week now, and you know that lull when you first

0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:38.519
<v Speaker 2>you're a group of eight, you sit down at the table.

0:00:38.560 --> 0:00:40.559
<v Speaker 2>We're figuring out are we talking, are we ordering?

0:00:40.600 --> 0:00:43.560
<v Speaker 1>What survive? Are we splitting? Are we sharing? I often

0:00:43.640 --> 0:00:45.760
<v Speaker 1>zone out of those things. I don't I'll just do

0:00:45.880 --> 0:00:47.360
<v Speaker 1>what the group is doing. I'm not stressed.

0:00:47.680 --> 0:00:51.000
<v Speaker 2>But I was eavesdropping on a conversation at the table

0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:53.920
<v Speaker 2>next to me, and it was these two friends double

0:00:54.000 --> 0:00:56.320
<v Speaker 2>checking whether or not another friend had been invited to

0:00:56.320 --> 0:00:59.959
<v Speaker 2>the dinner, and so the conversation had gone. Personally was like, oh,

0:01:00.200 --> 0:01:03.040
<v Speaker 2>so and so said she's on her way. So a

0:01:03.080 --> 0:01:05.640
<v Speaker 2>person B was like, is she really coming? This whole week,

0:01:05.680 --> 0:01:07.800
<v Speaker 2>she's been complaining about having no money. That's why shouldn't

0:01:07.840 --> 0:01:09.920
<v Speaker 2>chipen on so and so's present. That's why we didn't

0:01:09.959 --> 0:01:12.000
<v Speaker 2>go do this, and this and this. Surely she's not

0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:16.880
<v Speaker 2>coming to this nondescript, unnecessary dinner. We're going to pay

0:01:16.959 --> 0:01:20.160
<v Speaker 2>fifty sixty seventy bucks each. So they're going back and forth,

0:01:20.200 --> 0:01:23.400
<v Speaker 2>back and forth, And basically person A was of the

0:01:23.400 --> 0:01:26.920
<v Speaker 2>belief of, if she's coming, then she can, let's not.

0:01:26.959 --> 0:01:27.840
<v Speaker 1>Pocket watch her.

0:01:28.280 --> 0:01:30.039
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, if she said she didn't have money, we don't

0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:32.119
<v Speaker 2>know how she allocates her money. We don't know what

0:01:32.160 --> 0:01:34.119
<v Speaker 2>was a priority to her and what wasn't a priority.

0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:38.040
<v Speaker 2>Maybe she uses it as a common excuse and she's lying.

0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:40.720
<v Speaker 2>The person B was like, no, because it actually does

0:01:40.760 --> 0:01:43.039
<v Speaker 2>inform the kind of friendship we're able to have with her.

0:01:43.319 --> 0:01:46.680
<v Speaker 2>And it is quite limiting to have to be so

0:01:46.720 --> 0:01:48.760
<v Speaker 2>considerate in some areas and then just turn off the

0:01:48.800 --> 0:01:52.600
<v Speaker 2>consideration randomly. You know that feeling of when you are

0:01:52.920 --> 0:01:56.400
<v Speaker 2>speaking about a friend and you wonder, at what point

0:01:56.440 --> 0:01:59.080
<v Speaker 2>does this get to be mean girl gossip? And at

0:01:59.080 --> 0:02:01.680
<v Speaker 2>what point is it just reiterating what is known and

0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:05.520
<v Speaker 2>what is factual. Yeah, I don't think I've been around

0:02:05.680 --> 0:02:08.959
<v Speaker 2>that type of person in a little bit because I've

0:02:09.040 --> 0:02:12.360
<v Speaker 2>curated my circle in a very particular way. But I

0:02:12.360 --> 0:02:15.960
<v Speaker 2>will say it is frustrating. I've had certain instances where people,

0:02:16.600 --> 0:02:20.600
<v Speaker 2>specific individuals, have asked you to be really mindful of

0:02:20.639 --> 0:02:24.520
<v Speaker 2>a certain characteristic. Maybe it's a like people who are

0:02:24.520 --> 0:02:27.040
<v Speaker 2>sometimes like close intolerance, Like yeah, we can't go there,

0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:28.839
<v Speaker 2>but then every other day you're eating like ice cream

0:02:28.880 --> 0:02:30.120
<v Speaker 2>and cheese, which is it?

0:02:30.200 --> 0:02:30.919
<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying?

0:02:31.320 --> 0:02:33.800
<v Speaker 2>Or pocket watching this friend is like wait, you know

0:02:33.919 --> 0:02:35.960
<v Speaker 2>I can't do that. You know I can't be here,

0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:39.480
<v Speaker 2>but now you're spending so which is it. I am

0:02:39.480 --> 0:02:41.760
<v Speaker 2>a big fan of communicating. I like to do a

0:02:41.800 --> 0:02:45.080
<v Speaker 2>big chat, but also what I love about friendships is

0:02:45.120 --> 0:02:46.400
<v Speaker 2>that flows that you get into.

0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:48.359
<v Speaker 1>It's not everything's a conversation.

0:02:48.919 --> 0:02:52.600
<v Speaker 2>It's assumed because I've known you for long enough, I

0:02:52.720 --> 0:02:57.080
<v Speaker 2>get you, So why are you switching it up for fun?

0:02:57.200 --> 0:03:01.120
<v Speaker 3>I will say this is why I don't talk about

0:03:01.560 --> 0:03:05.160
<v Speaker 3>money unless it's with my girl Flexi and we're discussing

0:03:05.200 --> 0:03:08.280
<v Speaker 3>a job and how much we got paid, period, because

0:03:08.320 --> 0:03:11.080
<v Speaker 3>I know from my own experience someone tells me how

0:03:11.160 --> 0:03:15.119
<v Speaker 3>much they get paid I then just automatically judge how

0:03:15.120 --> 0:03:18.480
<v Speaker 3>they send their money, like group presents or like you

0:03:18.560 --> 0:03:21.280
<v Speaker 3>not buying around the drinks, and like I make judgments

0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:25.880
<v Speaker 3>even though I know that people have expenses, and I

0:03:25.919 --> 0:03:27.280
<v Speaker 3>just don't want someone to do that to me. That's

0:03:27.280 --> 0:03:30.560
<v Speaker 3>why I just like, don't tell anyone anything about money.

0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:35.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's tricky because again, people feel like they're in

0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:37.640
<v Speaker 2>full control of their thoughts and bodies, like, oh, I

0:03:37.720 --> 0:03:38.800
<v Speaker 2>can decide how I feel.

0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:41.280
<v Speaker 1>It's not how it happens. But also sometimes it's a trap.

0:03:41.360 --> 0:03:45.080
<v Speaker 2>Like I was out at a gig and it was

0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:46.720
<v Speaker 2>one of those nights where I'm like, I'm not trying

0:03:46.720 --> 0:03:48.280
<v Speaker 2>to get loose. I'm just happy to be around on

0:03:48.360 --> 0:03:51.920
<v Speaker 2>my people. But we ran into some acquaintances who were

0:03:51.960 --> 0:03:54.480
<v Speaker 2>adamant that we do shots, right, like I'll buy a

0:03:54.560 --> 0:03:56.440
<v Speaker 2>round of shots. And then there were two of them,

0:03:56.640 --> 0:03:58.760
<v Speaker 2>I'll buy around shots. Great, you brought the round. We're like, oh,

0:03:58.760 --> 0:04:00.160
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to do shots. The other friend like,

0:04:00.200 --> 0:04:01.800
<v Speaker 2>I'll buy around of shots, like let's all do shots.

0:04:01.800 --> 0:04:03.320
<v Speaker 2>You're like, I don't want to do shots. Then he

0:04:03.400 --> 0:04:05.360
<v Speaker 2>was like, I know, Flexi's got money shots on you.

0:04:05.440 --> 0:04:07.200
<v Speaker 2>Next I'm like I didn't even want the shots, and

0:04:07.240 --> 0:04:08.600
<v Speaker 2>now you're making it seem like I asked you for

0:04:08.640 --> 0:04:10.160
<v Speaker 2>the shots, and now you're paying for the shots. So

0:04:10.200 --> 0:04:11.480
<v Speaker 2>I got the next round and I was like, if

0:04:11.520 --> 0:04:12.840
<v Speaker 2>you want to drink, I'll get you a drink. It's

0:04:12.840 --> 0:04:15.320
<v Speaker 2>not a big deal. But the framing was so strange

0:04:15.320 --> 0:04:18.240
<v Speaker 2>because I was like pocket watched. Yeah, I wasn't even

0:04:18.320 --> 0:04:21.680
<v Speaker 2>in the deliberation. You handed me the drink, and now

0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:24.880
<v Speaker 2>it's like I owe you because you know I've got money.

0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:25.520
<v Speaker 1>It's odd.

0:04:25.760 --> 0:04:27.800
<v Speaker 3>It's like when I went to Bali and the guy

0:04:27.880 --> 0:04:28.799
<v Speaker 3>helped me with my bag.

0:04:29.400 --> 0:04:32.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, he got me. That's a good hussle.

0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:32.800
<v Speaker 3>I like that.

0:04:32.920 --> 0:04:35.880
<v Speaker 1>Do you know what it is? Helpful? It is helpful.

0:04:36.200 --> 0:04:40.200
<v Speaker 2>Look, I think every time we talk about friendships, I

0:04:40.240 --> 0:04:44.919
<v Speaker 2>will say it is a lot easier to cultivate healthier

0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:46.240
<v Speaker 2>standards with newer friends.

0:04:46.680 --> 0:04:47.560
<v Speaker 1>Yes, a great.

0:04:47.680 --> 0:04:50.800
<v Speaker 2>So I'm not saying drop your old friends, because no,

0:04:50.920 --> 0:04:52.599
<v Speaker 2>that's not how it is. But there's a certain level

0:04:52.600 --> 0:04:54.720
<v Speaker 2>of acceptance I have with people I've known for a

0:04:54.800 --> 0:04:57.480
<v Speaker 2>long time, and I'm just like, it is the way

0:04:57.520 --> 0:04:59.600
<v Speaker 2>it is. And there with these newer dynamics, there's so

0:04:59.680 --> 0:05:01.560
<v Speaker 2>much more permission to be like, no, it can be different.

0:05:01.720 --> 0:05:04.279
<v Speaker 2>We don't actually have to be friends, and we're making

0:05:04.640 --> 0:05:07.200
<v Speaker 2>a very particular choice, So why don't we crank it

0:05:07.240 --> 0:05:09.320
<v Speaker 2>and do it in a way that's a bit healthier

0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:12.280
<v Speaker 2>than we're used to. Everything's a conversation. But don't get

0:05:12.320 --> 0:05:14.640
<v Speaker 2>it stuck at a big chat territory. No like, can

0:05:14.640 --> 0:05:19.839
<v Speaker 2>we have a chat? No, squeeze it in. Be casual

0:05:19.880 --> 0:05:22.360
<v Speaker 2>with it. You know, good luck with that, but always

0:05:22.400 --> 0:05:26.159
<v Speaker 2>send through your queries requests for advice. Flex and Frooms

0:05:26.160 --> 0:05:28.240
<v Speaker 2>on insert is the best way to do it. If

0:05:28.240 --> 0:05:30.599
<v Speaker 2>you send it to us individually, it might get lost,

0:05:30.720 --> 0:05:34.800
<v Speaker 2>you know how the dms are packed. Anyway, We miss you,

0:05:34.880 --> 0:05:35.719
<v Speaker 2>Dally be well.

0:05:36.400 --> 0:05:38.920
<v Speaker 1>You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms Daily Podcast.

0:05:39.240 --> 0:05:42.840
<v Speaker 3>For more, tune Indicator on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.