Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex
Speaker 1: and Frooms catch Up podcast.
Speaker 2: Overheard at dinner. One thing about Flexiana. I'm gonna be
Speaker 2: evesdropping on the table next to me at dinner in
Speaker 2: the same way. I'm for sure aware that they're eavesdropping
Speaker 2: on me because I speak like I'm at home at
Speaker 2: all times dropping names. I'm not doxing to the extent
Speaker 2: that Freumiana might, but I never do. But on the
Speaker 2: Flex and Froom show, you know how we are.
Speaker 1: Listen. I was at dinner the other.
Speaker 2: Week now, and you know that lull when you first
Speaker 2: you're a group of eight, you sit down at the table.
Speaker 2: We're figuring out are we talking, are we ordering?
Speaker 1: What survive? Are we splitting? Are we sharing? I often
Speaker 1: zone out of those things. I don't I'll just do
Speaker 1: what the group is doing. I'm not stressed.
Speaker 2: But I was eavesdropping on a conversation at the table
Speaker 2: next to me, and it was these two friends double
Speaker 2: checking whether or not another friend had been invited to
Speaker 2: the dinner, and so the conversation had gone. Personally was like, oh,
Speaker 2: so and so said she's on her way. So a
Speaker 2: person B was like, is she really coming? This whole week,
Speaker 2: she's been complaining about having no money. That's why shouldn't
Speaker 2: chipen on so and so's present. That's why we didn't
Speaker 2: go do this, and this and this. Surely she's not
Speaker 2: coming to this nondescript, unnecessary dinner. We're going to pay
Speaker 2: fifty sixty seventy bucks each. So they're going back and forth,
Speaker 2: back and forth, And basically person A was of the
Speaker 2: belief of, if she's coming, then she can, let's not.
Speaker 1: Pocket watch her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if she said she didn't have money, we don't
Speaker 2: know how she allocates her money. We don't know what
Speaker 2: was a priority to her and what wasn't a priority.
Speaker 2: Maybe she uses it as a common excuse and she's lying.
Speaker 2: The person B was like, no, because it actually does
Speaker 2: inform the kind of friendship we're able to have with her.
Speaker 2: And it is quite limiting to have to be so
Speaker 2: considerate in some areas and then just turn off the
Speaker 2: consideration randomly. You know that feeling of when you are
Speaker 2: speaking about a friend and you wonder, at what point
Speaker 2: does this get to be mean girl gossip? And at
Speaker 2: what point is it just reiterating what is known and
Speaker 2: what is factual. Yeah, I don't think I've been around
Speaker 2: that type of person in a little bit because I've
Speaker 2: curated my circle in a very particular way. But I
Speaker 2: will say it is frustrating. I've had certain instances where people,
Speaker 2: specific individuals, have asked you to be really mindful of
Speaker 2: a certain characteristic. Maybe it's a like people who are
Speaker 2: sometimes like close intolerance, Like yeah, we can't go there,
Speaker 2: but then every other day you're eating like ice cream
Speaker 2: and cheese, which is it?
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2: Or pocket watching this friend is like wait, you know
Speaker 2: I can't do that. You know I can't be here,
Speaker 2: but now you're spending so which is it. I am
Speaker 2: a big fan of communicating. I like to do a
Speaker 2: big chat, but also what I love about friendships is
Speaker 2: that flows that you get into.
Speaker 1: It's not everything's a conversation.
Speaker 2: It's assumed because I've known you for long enough, I
Speaker 2: get you, So why are you switching it up for fun?
Speaker 3: I will say this is why I don't talk about
Speaker 3: money unless it's with my girl Flexi and we're discussing
Speaker 3: a job and how much we got paid, period, because
Speaker 3: I know from my own experience someone tells me how
Speaker 3: much they get paid I then just automatically judge how
Speaker 3: they send their money, like group presents or like you
Speaker 3: not buying around the drinks, and like I make judgments
Speaker 3: even though I know that people have expenses, and I
Speaker 3: just don't want someone to do that to me. That's
Speaker 3: why I just like, don't tell anyone anything about money.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's tricky because again, people feel like they're in
Speaker 2: full control of their thoughts and bodies, like, oh, I
Speaker 2: can decide how I feel.
Speaker 1: It's not how it happens. But also sometimes it's a trap.
Speaker 2: Like I was out at a gig and it was
Speaker 2: one of those nights where I'm like, I'm not trying
Speaker 2: to get loose. I'm just happy to be around on
Speaker 2: my people. But we ran into some acquaintances who were
Speaker 2: adamant that we do shots, right, like I'll buy a
Speaker 2: round of shots. And then there were two of them,
Speaker 2: I'll buy around shots. Great, you brought the round. We're like, oh,
Speaker 2: I don't want to do shots. The other friend like,
Speaker 2: I'll buy around of shots, like let's all do shots.
Speaker 2: You're like, I don't want to do shots. Then he
Speaker 2: was like, I know, Flexi's got money shots on you.
Speaker 2: Next I'm like I didn't even want the shots, and
Speaker 2: now you're making it seem like I asked you for
Speaker 2: the shots, and now you're paying for the shots. So
Speaker 2: I got the next round and I was like, if
Speaker 2: you want to drink, I'll get you a drink. It's
Speaker 2: not a big deal. But the framing was so strange
Speaker 2: because I was like pocket watched. Yeah, I wasn't even
Speaker 2: in the deliberation. You handed me the drink, and now
Speaker 2: it's like I owe you because you know I've got money.
Speaker 1: It's odd.
Speaker 3: It's like when I went to Bali and the guy
Speaker 3: helped me with my bag.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, he got me. That's a good hussle.
Speaker 3: I like that.
Speaker 1: Do you know what it is? Helpful? It is helpful.
Speaker 2: Look, I think every time we talk about friendships, I
Speaker 2: will say it is a lot easier to cultivate healthier
Speaker 2: standards with newer friends.
Speaker 1: Yes, a great.
Speaker 2: So I'm not saying drop your old friends, because no,
Speaker 2: that's not how it is. But there's a certain level
Speaker 2: of acceptance I have with people I've known for a
Speaker 2: long time, and I'm just like, it is the way
Speaker 2: it is. And there with these newer dynamics, there's so
Speaker 2: much more permission to be like, no, it can be different.
Speaker 2: We don't actually have to be friends, and we're making
Speaker 2: a very particular choice, So why don't we crank it
Speaker 2: and do it in a way that's a bit healthier
Speaker 2: than we're used to. Everything's a conversation. But don't get
Speaker 2: it stuck at a big chat territory. No like, can
Speaker 2: we have a chat? No, squeeze it in. Be casual
Speaker 2: with it. You know, good luck with that, but always
Speaker 2: send through your queries requests for advice. Flex and Frooms
Speaker 2: on insert is the best way to do it. If
Speaker 2: you send it to us individually, it might get lost,
Speaker 2: you know how the dms are packed. Anyway, We miss you,
Speaker 2: Dally be well.
Speaker 1: You've been listening to the Flex and Frooms Daily Podcast.
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